24 minute read

OPINIONS

from Volume XLII Issue 2

by Fordham Observer

from Volume XLII Issue 2, page 2

NEWS

It’s fine to talk to multiple people, as long as you’re not in a committed closed relationship

EMILY ELLIS

Head Head Copy EditorHead Copy Editor

Dear Em,

Is it OK to talk to multiple people at the same time? I’m talking to three people, and they all seem like great guys, but I’m not in a relationship with any of them. How can I stop feeling so guilty? -Triple Timer

Dear Triple Timer,

Dating in NYC is already a hellscape — it’s hard to find one person you connect with, let alone multiple. But whenever you do, it can be overwhelming to juggle conversations with several people.

The thing to keep in mind is that you are not doing anything wrong. In fact, you’re in a pretty privileged position. You have options. Enjoy that, and don’t feel guilty!

Unless you have made a commitment to one person or had a conversation about being exclusive, it is fair to assume that you are free to talk to other people. I’m not sure how long you have been talking to these respective people, but it can take time to find someone with whom you really click. I promise you that whoever you are talking to is most likely also talking to multiple people themselves. Take dating apps, for instance. They’re created with the express purpose of connecting single people with multiple prospective partners, and there is nothing wrong with talking to more than one at a time.

Don’t be afraid to go on dates and meet all of these people in person. Chemistry online is very different from chemistry in person. Share your location and meet somewhere public, but put yourself out there. As long as you take measures to keep yourself safe, meeting someone in person is a great way to figure out if you have a lasting connection.

You might be feeling guilty for talking to multiple people because there is one person in particular that you know you like above the rest. If there is one person that stands out from the pack, pursue them. Stay true to yourself, and make sure that you are not sabotaging something potentially great. But the second that you reach a decision about wanting a future with that one person, let the other ones go. Trust your gut, and stay honest with everyone. You don’t want to lead anyone on or hurt anyone’s feelings, so as long as you are upfront with everyone that you are talking to, you are in a golden position to get to know multiple people.

It’s also important to keep in mind that you are not obligated to enter into a relationship with any of them. If none of them feel right for you, that’s fine. If you’re not looking to enter into a relationship right now, that’s fine as well. I recommend asking the people you’re talking to why they are putting themselves out there. It’s essential to make sure you are all on the same page. That might be a first step toward alleviating some of that guilt you’re feeling.

Enjoy being young and single. Dating can cause anxiety, but it’s important to remember that you are a college student in New York City. You should be using this time to get to know yourself and build the future that you want. If one of these people fits into your five-year plan, then great. But you’ll be perfectly fine either way.

MADDIE SANDHOLM /THE OBSERVER

Have any questions about love or relationships in NYC or Fordham? Ask Em! Submit your dilemma with a pseudonym to opinions@fordhamobserver.com.

All questions will be anonymous, and any and all names will be changed. Submissions may be edited for grammatical errors and brevity.

Rubberneck SATIRE & HUMORThe Want an Unhappy Marriage? Propose in Central Park

Save your time, money and relationship by avoiding New York City’s greatest atrocity: public park proposals

ISABELLA SCIPIONI

Opinions Editor

Since moving to New York, I’ve always loved to walk through Central Park and explore its many attractions. However, there is one public nuisance that I can’t stay silent about any longer. Picture it: a crowd of anxious family members, cameras at the ready, waiting next to a set of balloons spelling out “MARRY ME?” over the Central Park Boathouse.

Yes, I hate public proposals. But before you jump down my throat and condemn me to a life of spinsterhood, let me explain. As someone who unfortunately loves to walk around Bethesda Fountain and romanticize New York, I have seen far too many public proposals and have officially deemed them tacky at best. At worst, they’re nothing but uncomfortable for all parties involved.

Central Park is a beautiful place to ask someone to spend the rest of their life with you, which is why so many people get down on one knee there every year. Public engagements are so popular that Central Park offers “proposal packages” on their website, with the “Surprise Proposal Package” costing a whopping $1,500 for proposal planning, one hour of photography, a dozen roses and the knowledge that you wasted valuable money that could have gone toward your mortgage or the most expensive party you will ever throw in your life.

Side note: If your proposal plan includes paying someone for a public good, maybe you shouldn’t be the one making financial decisions in your relationship.

Whether planned lovingly or by a neutral third party, Central Park proposals are far too common. In my rulebook, a public proposal should happen once in a blue moon, but since moving to New York a year ago, I’ve seen at least a dozen of these “intimate” moments and no irregularly colored moons. New York is home to over 8 million people, and if you are considering popping the question in the park, remember that you are certainly not the first person to do so.

You’ll need to think pretty hard outside of the box to make a public Central Park proposal original. It’s honestly better to just think outside of the park. Every proposal I’ve seen has had some variation of spelling out the words “Marry Me?” using both the creativity and artistic skills of a second grader. Let’s be honest, the only person impressed by this spectacle is the Hobby Lobby cashier who sold the lazy proposer their poster paper and glitter paint.

Whether written on a sign, in sidewalk chalk or in balloon letters, proposers must go out of their way to make their performance exciting. Private proposals don’t require this unnecessary spectacle because the proposal itself is enough excitement for the couple involved. I have to wonder, are these signs really for the person getting proposed to, or are they just a convenient way to fill in the hundreds of onlookers posting a strangers’ proposal on their Instagram stories.

While well-intentioned, these proposals scream high school sweethearts asking each other to the prom. Call me crazy, but I think asking someone to share a life with you is a bit more serious than a 17-year-old asking their crush to split a limo ride to their high school’s gym.

Tackiness aside, I will admit that witnessing a public proposal can warm anyone’s day, that is, if it goes according to plan. Worse than their lack of originality is public proposals’ tendency to end in disaster. The risk of having the person you love reject you and your bubble-letter technique in front of hundreds of strangers is far too high for public proposals to be as normalized as they are. Do not subject yourself, your partner, your spectators, and most importantly, me to this unwanted plot twist.

If you still feel like a public proposal is the best way to show your love, please, I beg of you, talk it over first! So many proposals go wrong because the person proposing wants to surprise their partner, including the part about spending every waking minute with them for the rest of their lives.

If you’re thinking about proposing, ask your partner how they feel about marriage and your relationship’s future before putting them and yourself in an uncomfortable situation. You can still surprise someone about when, where and how you pop the question, but maybe, just maybe, the concept of marriage should not be a complete shock to your prospective fiancée.

I would like to mention that there are plenty of non-tacky ways to propose in Central Park, and the biggest thing they have in common is that they’re not in public. My father proposed to my mother privately on a horse-drawn carriage ride in the park, which was then followed by a meal at the short-lived WWE-themed restaurant in Times Square (I WISH that were a joke). While I am a biased source, and his choice of restaurant was more than questionable, I’ll give him credit for finding a romantic and private way to propose in the park.

Given that there are alternatives to proposing in public, I question the motivations of those who choose to pop the question in front of a stadium of strangers. Do they think that their partners won’t say no if they ask them to get married in front of dozens of people? I’m sure a marriage founded on politeness and fear of public humiliation will be a long and happy one.

Before you ask someone to marry you in public, ask yourself, do I really want to get married, or do I just want attention? If your answer is the latter, maybe consider proposing in a restaurant so you can at least get a free dessert out of it. The risk of being publicly rejected for a promposal 2.0 is too great.

ILLUSTRATION BY ROXANNE CUBERO/THE OBSERVER

Clothing and Couture in the Concrete Jungle

FASHION WEEK from page 1

It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that the city holds the fashion industry in its palm. But just as Rome wasn’t built in a day, New York did not earn its reputation overnight. It only formally emerged onto the global style scene in the 1940s, taking the place of Paris as the fashion capital of the world during World War II. The innovation and ease of designs — that quintessential American casualness — defined American fashion and allowed New Yorkers to cling to this title decades later. “New York is a cultural capital first and foremost,” Allison Pfingst, Fordham fashion studies department adviser and administrator, said. “The culture around New York is part of what draws people to it, especially from all over the world. The mixing pot that makes New York, New York, also makes New York fashion.”

The city’s reputation is owed in no small part to modern media, which has consistently worked to cultivate and construct New York’s image as a style utopia. Fashion-focused movies and TV shows including “The Devil Wears Prada,” “Sex and the City” and its current revival “And Just Like That ... ” have not only given audiences a repertoire of iconic looks tied to New York, but also have contributed to the rose-tinted haze in which we see the city.

New York’s reputation as something of a designer dreamland would be the stuff of legend if not for the history to back it up and the publicity to bolster its name — but can the city’s mythologized spirit of style be felt by Fordham students?

Through Rose-Tinted Glasses

For Pritha Lamichhane, Fordham College at Lincoln Center (FCLC) ’24, fashion is a world of its own — one she desperately wants to be a part of. Although she cites fashion as her first love, the Nepal-born and Texas-raised Lamichhane considers herself an outsider.

“My main goal and the reason that I came to New York is to become an insider in fashion,” she said. “I’d love to be part of the industry. My real passion is fashion and, hopefully, it will be my main career someday.”

Lamichhane works toward this dream in increments, her journey manifesting itself with each post on her Instagram page. Behind every picture set in that familiar three-row grid is a process of offering to model clothes for small businesses, reaching out to partner with local photographers, and scouting different places in the city to hold test shoots. She describes it as her creative outlet, and she is in love with the ritual of it all.

At the end of the day, her Instagram page is a lovingly curated collection of what brings her joy. Interspersed between pictures of herself and the style she continues to evolve are snapshots of the city she holds so close to her heart.

“New York is the center of the world. Where else would I go?” Lamichhane said. “I think people are very interesting here, in a very good way. Whether you want to do politics or whether you want to do fashion or whatever you want to do — I feel like New York has the best opportunities for everyone.”

The sentiment is a distinctly rose-tinted view of New York, but Lamichhane believes there to be some truth to back the claim. And while she admits to being guilty of romanticizing the city, she doesn’t necessarily think it’s a bad thing either.

“In a way, it’s good to romanticize New York,” she said. “It makes you feel powerful. It makes you feel like you’re going somewhere with your life and you’re doing something.”

COURTESY OF PRITHA LAMICHHANE Pritha Lamichhane, FCLC ’24, uses her Instagram account as a creative outlet to express her style.

COURTESY OF WILL RUPFF Will Rupff, FCLC ’25, is originally from Connecticut, but he always aspired to live out his fashion dreams in NYC.

There’s Something About It

For Will Rupff, FCLC ’25, home is in Connecticut, only an hour away from the city, but he can sense a tangible difference in spirit when he crosses state lines.

“I always used to go to New York with my dad every year when I was younger,” he said. “And just immediately, when I would get off the train at Grand Central Station, there was this vibrant energy, and there was just something about it.”

To Rupff, fashion in New York offers more freedom and space for exploration. In his first year at Fordham, he traded out button-downs and cricket sweaters for blazers and wide-legged pants — the experimental environment of the big city a far cry from the collegiate, Ivy League appearance associated with New England.

He found that the lure of New York would never truly leave him, accompanying him throughout his high school years to the point where attending college out of state felt like the most natural course of action; it was in the city that the kid who used to watch Chanel and Yves Saint Laurent runway shows under his covers felt most at home.

“I feel like New York is the center of the world in a sense. It just always felt right. I always clicked,” he said. “There’s a diversity of people, a diversity of fashion, but there’s also a diversity of thought. There are different perspectives that converge, and that’s where you truly get to meet new people and new experiences.”

Much like the city itself, Rupff describes his style as ever-evolving: different when compared to two months past and different in the next two months to come. His more liberated style of dress, for example, is representative of the newest chapter of his life — one where he is afforded more freedom to choose the direction he wants to head in. “Fashion is really just an honest pursuit of joy and inspiration. You can always partake in the fashion industry, whether it’s for comfort, or for style, or for pleasure,” he said.

“It really is meant for everyone. The sense of inclusivity when you put on a garment makes you feel like you’re part of something bigger, deeper and more impactful.”

A City of Contrasts

Self-identifying punk Madison “Rat” DeStefano, FCLC ’25, establishes themself as staunchly anti-fashion. To her, the short-lived cycle of trends and the vices of environmental waste and exploitation that often accompany it run counter to what she stands for.

“Even if my clothes don’t technically look good, they have so much character, and that means a lot to me. I love looking into my closet and feeling like I’m looking in a mirror,” DeStefano said. “Even if I’m wearing the same clothes, I feel really fulfilled, and I feel like a lot of people miss that in the fashion industry. It’s more fleeting and that excitement will go away.”

In the true spirit of punk culture, the clothes they wear are either thrifted or made by hand. Last summer, DeStefano established her business, Junkyard, with the aim of combating fast fashion by extending her skills of revamping old and unused clothes to buyers.

Although DeStefano can’t see herself in any place other than New York, they didn’t need the spirit of the big city to feel affirmed in their choice of clothes, since she has aligned herself with punk culture since sixth grade. Rather, they regard New York as a dichotomy able to both breed creativity and smother individuality.

“I feel like the city is alive. There are different types of people and lifestyles here, and it’s really interesting to see the whole world culminated in one place,” she said. “But the fashion industry also prevents this. We keep buying all the new clothes that companies are producing in bulk for these constantly changing styles. I think that’s dangerous for mental health and individuality itself. The more we morph into this one thing, the smaller our world becomes.”

To DeStefano, the spirit of New York isn’t reflected in the shiny store windows on Fifth Avenue, but rather in the basements where the punk shows she frequents are held.

“They’re typically pretty rundown, but to me, it’s a physical representation of the city. It’s got a lot of garbage, but it has a lot of character and a lot of art everywhere,” they said. “We try to make our society very tidy and clean-cut, and I like that that’s not what it is.”

New York City isn’t all the glitz and grandeur it’s depicted as on screen, but it is exactly for this reason that DeStefano calls it “the closest place to home” that she knows.

The Academy is back at it again, exhilarating and disappointing movie fans with its annual Oscar nominations

From the 1960s to the early 2000s, there is no shortage of NYC rom-coms to pull at your heartstrings

By MICHAEL MATHEWS Staff Writer

At the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic, film productions were shut down and delayed, and the thought of going to a movie theater became foreign and dangerous. As things seem to be returning to normalcy, we are once again flocking to the theaters, and the era of low box office numbers and major movie delays seems to be fading into the past.

The year 2021 was a return to a typical movie year: The box office was dominated by Marvel movies like “Spider-Man: No Way Home” and “Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings” and the sci-fi epic “Dune,” while period pieces like “The Power of the Dog,” “Licorice Pizza,” and “Belfast” dominated the awards circuit.

The movie magic that was missing in 2020 reappeared in 2021, giving us the opportunity to escape our sometimes dreary reality by transporting ourselves into new worlds and connecting with new and old characters. This return to normalcy in the movie industry has set up a great year for the Oscars.

During the Feb. 8 announcement of the 2022 Oscar nominations, hosts Tracee Ellis Ross and Leslie Jordan repeatedly emphasized that the Oscars are dedicated to movie lovers. Through the Oscars, we get a general overview of the public’s perception of the movies from the year. However, we all know that the Academy Awards will never get the nominations “right” because everyone has their own opinion on what should and should not be nominated.

It is through the surprises and snubs every year that we are able to join together as movie lovers — whether in pain or joy — and ride the rollercoaster of emotions that is the Oscar nominations announcement.

Just like all the other Oscar nomination announcements, there were a ton of surprises and snubs this year. Leading the way in nominations was Netflix’s powerhouse western “The Power of the Dog,” picking up 12 Oscar nominations; it was followed by arguably the most anticipated movie of 2021, “Dune,” which scored 10 nominations. Look for these two films to pick up plenty of awards and dominate at the Oscars on March 27.

Now, for the moment you’ve been waiting for: the surprises and snubs.

Surprises: ‘Drive My Car,’ ‘Nightmare Alley’ Exceed Expectations

Ryusuke Hamaguchi’s Japanese film “Drive My Car” earned four nominations including Best Picture and Best Director after only earning a mere $3.6 million at the U.S. box office. The carnival noir “Nightmare Alley,” by Academy Award-winning director Guillermo del Toro was predicted to only receive a Best Cinematography nomination, but, surprisingly, it snuck into the Best Picture, Best Production Design and Best Costume Design categories.

Snub: Denis Villeneuve Not Nominated for Best Director

Heading into the nomination announcement, it seemed like Villeneuve was a sure-fire bet to be nominated for Best Director for his work on successfully adapting one of the most notoriously difficult books to translate to the screen in “Dune.” However, his name was noticeably absent, a trend in his illustrious career after being previously snubbed for Best Director nominations for some of his other films like “Prisoners” and “Blade Runner 2049.”

Surprises: Best Supporting Actor and Actress Categories

Throughout the awards season leading up to the Oscar nominations, the Best Supporting Actor category has had everyone guessing. Two of the five nomination spots were seen as toss-ups, with predictions having actors like Ben Affleck (“The Tender Bar”), Jared Leto (“House of Gucci”) and Jamie Dornan (“Belfast”) seen as the front-runners to take up those last two spots.

However, the Academy nominated Jesse Plemons for his subtle performance in “The Power of the Dog” and J.K. Simmons for his work in “Being the Ricardos,” a movie about the relationship between Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz behind the scenes of the classic sitcom “I Love Lucy.”

Contrary to the Best Supporting Actor category, the Best Supporting Actress category was thought to be relatively set in stone. But the one thing moviegoers learn every year is to expect the unexpected from the Oscars.

The best supporting actress category kicked off the nomination announcements and set up the rest of the morning to be full of surprises and snubs. Jessie Buckley earned a well-deserved but surprising nomination for her performance in Netflix’s “The Lost Daughter,” while Academy-voter favorite Judi Dench earned her eighth career nomination for “Belfast,” stealing the spot from her much more deserving co-star Caitríona Balfe.

Snub: ‘tick, tick…BOOM!’ Didn’t Detonate in the Hearts of Academy Voters

Lin-Manuel Miranda’s Netflix adaptation of legendary playwright Jonathan Larson’s musical “tick, tick…BOOM!,” one of the year’s most entertaining and

THANK YOU (22 MILLIONS+) VIEWS VIA FLICKR Actresses Wanda Sykes, Regina Hall and Amy Schumer will host the 94th Oscars on ABC on Sunday, Mar. 27 at 8 p.m. EDT.

meaningful movies, failed to get a Best Picture nomination. In one of the strongest years for musicals in recent memory, the Academy only saved room for one musical to earn a Best Picture nomination, Steven Spielberg’s remake of “West Side Story,” which earned the spot over other strong musicals like “tick, tick…BOOM!,” “In the Heights” and “Cyrano.”

Surprise: Lady Gaga Not Nominated for Best Actress in ‘House of Gucci’

Several Oscar award pages were predicting Lady Gaga to win Best Actress for her performance in “House of Gucci,” so it was a surprise when Penélope Cruz for her performance in “Parallel Mothers” and Kristen Stewart for her performance in “Spencer” were chosen over Gaga.

Unfortunately, there are always a couple films every year that noticeably miss the cut, not earning any nominations.

Some of the Best Movies From the Year That Missed the Oscars:

“The Green Knight,” a retelling of the medieval folklore story of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, had some of the best costumes and cinematography of the year.

“Mass,” a solemn and tragic view on how parents are affected by school shootings, had performances from Jason Isaacs and Ann Dowd that were worthy of Oscar nominations.

“C’mon C’mon,” a beautiful story about the relationship between a boy and his uncle as they learn from each other the importance of family and love, had Oscar-worthy acting from 13-year-old Woody Norman and Academy Award-winning actor Joaquin Phoenix.

“The Summit of the Gods,” a Netflix animated movie about a journalist and a climber whose paths cross as they attempt to make their way to the top of Mount Everest.

“The Harder They Fall,” a Netflix western that pops off the screen with vibrant costumes and a rocking soundtrack, including the likes of Jay-Z and Kid Cudi.

The 94th Oscars will be aired on ABC on Sunday, March 27, at 8 p.m. EDT.