Hanging on with Hannington
Relationships 101 his being the women’s issue, I felt it appropriate drop my two cents on relationships which is certainly one of the favourite topics for the opposite gender. But first, something for the lads. The secret to approaching women. I do not profess to be an expert in this field but the one thing I do know is that women like confident men. Certain attributes such as being handsome are out of your control because they are dependent on nature but charisma and charm you certainly have the ability to influence. A man has to be disarmingly charming and be able warm up a woman’s soul. It doesn’t matter what’s in your bank account, what you are wearing or where you meet them, just know your story and be able to tell it like there is no tomorrow. A few lies here and there are also vital.
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Now over to the ladies. They continuously wonder why a man who has a very pretty or beautiful wife and seemingly fine relationship attempts to hit on other women. Why can’t men focus on one woman and be monogamous? Well in my view, having a wandering eye is not the same as cheating. It seems healthy to be attracted to others, look at others and enjoy their beauty. The idea of monogamy to me is that you’re making a promise not to have intimate physical relations with someone else; it does not mean that you turn off your attraction to others or deny your human sexual nature. Enjoy the power of attraction and use it to energize your other pursuits
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in life. You can also use it to energize your promise to the person that you are monogamous with. You’re giving your word to that person and to yourself. Going against your word doesn’t just hurt them — it also hurts you. It damages your own integrity and the power of your word. If however you really like having lots of sex with other people, just refrain from making the promise not to. I don’t think there is a particular time or a timetable when a man should get married. These days more and more men are postponing marriage due to financial pressures and also a need to explore life more. The same goes for women. In the days gone by, our mothers married young due to social and cultural pressure society exerted on them. Not anymore. That said, I also know that you shouldn’t leave it so late. Personally, I think that going beyond the age of 40 is a tad tardy! But at the end of the day, everything is relative, right?
My favourite pastime is braaing and hosting parties. To many this is a rock star-like lifestyle and they question whether this creates some sort of instability in my relationships. I think this all depends on what one’s dreams are. Telling me to give up this part of me is as good as encouraging me to give up my dreams. And why would anyone do that for the sake of stability? It’s a choice I have made and maybe this is where I find meaning and happiness. Look for stability and peace of mind inside yourself and not in your relationships or the dreams of others. - HANNINGTON KASIRYE
It’s incumbent upon each partner to love the other’s dreams and if anything support them where possible. The idea of “making this work” sounds more like a way to make life more boring and predictable. At worst, it’s a genuinely sadistic desire to control someone else because your own life feels out of control or a cruel need to dominate and break someone’s spirit for the sake of your own peace of mind.
WWW.EXPATRIATE.
CO.ZA
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