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INSIDE FALL 2023
FEATURES
6 Which Personality Traits
May Be Especially Vulnerable to Substance Abuse?
16 What Kids Are Really Saying 20 What to Do If Your Child
is a Bully
23 The Dangers of CBD IN EVERY ISSUE
2 From the Director 5 Confessions from the
Kitchen Table 10 Faces in the Crowd 11 40 Developmental Assets 12 Assets in Action 18 Q&A / By the Numbers BROUGHT TO YOU BY
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ON THE COVER
Desta Misegades received her degree in business administration this spring and then joined the staff of Martin County Substance Abuse Prevention Coalition as project coordinator. She appreciates the sense of fulfillment it brings while allowing her to use her creativity and energy to encourage students to prioritize mental health and well-being. Desta grew up on a cattle farm and continues to compete in rodeos and train horses and considers herself a “musician at heart.”
ABOUT MCSAP
Martin County Substance Abuse Prevention (MCSAP) Coalition is a non-profit organization led by a diverse group of Martin County residents who have a passion for helping youth make healthy choices. Formed in 2011, MCSAP functions as a hub of information and resources to help coordinate and support the efforts of substance abuse prevention and the mental and physical well-being of youth. Coalition members include school teachers, police officers, volunteers, nurses, pastors, lay ministers, grandparents, parents, youth, and many others who care about the youth in our communities. The youth coalition is comprised of students in grades 7-12 at each Martin County high school. Members encourage fellow students to say no to tobacco, alcohol, marijuana, and prescriptions that were not prescribed to them. Student members reach their peers through positive messaging in personal notes, posters, and flyers; training opportunities; distribution of educational information at community events; and coordination of safe and fun activities, among other outreaches. If you are interested in learning more about the youth coalition activities at your school, contact the following advisors: Julie Brudelie, Cairne Eytcheson, Truman; Elizabeth Lowry, Fairmont; Karen Weets, Granada Huntley East Chain; Heather Winter, Laura Ebeling, Martin County West; Lisa Kube, Martin Luther. If you are interested in joining MCSAP or being kept up-to-date on our activities, join our mailing list by emailing director@mcsapcoalition.com. You can also learn more about who we are and what we do through our social media pages. On Facebook and Twitter, we are MCSAPCoalition, and on Instagram, we are under EmpowerMartinCounty. To receive your free subscription to our quarterly Youth Connections Magazine, sign up at https://mcsapcoalition. com/youth-connections/.
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Director E FROM THE
nrique “KiKi” Camarena was a Drug Enforcement Administration agent who lost his life fighting drug trafficking. Red Ribbon Week was created as a way to honor him. It’s a national campaign that takes place every year from October 23 to October 31 and encourages individuals and communities to come together to raise awareness about the dangers of drug abuse. The red ribbon symbolizes a commitment to a drug-free lifestyle and is worn during the campaign as a visible reminder of the pledge. Since its inception in 1985, Red Ribbon Week has reached millions of young people and adults across the country. Martin County Substance Abuse Prevention Coalition and the Empower youth are promoting Red Ribbon Week and are encouraging you and your family to join us in drawing attention to the dangers of substance misuse and the benefits of choosing to be drug-free. The Empower youth will host activities throughout the week and are placing a special focus on empowering classmates to resist peer pressure and make healthy choices. They will also be putting out Red Ribbon Week posters, giant ribbons, and other informational pieces throughout the area. We encourage you to participate by: Wearing a Red Ribbon: Show your commitment to a drug-free life by wearing a red ribbon throughout the week. Learning More About Drug Prevention: You can find a variety of free resources on drug trends, how drugs can harm our youth, and getting healthy and staying healthy at mcsapcoalition.com/links. You also are invited to attend a MCSAP Coalition meeting on November 9 or December 14 at 11:30 a.m. at the Southern Minnesota Education Campus (SMEC building). Talking to Your Kids: Use this opportunity to discuss the dangers of drug misuse with your children and provide them with information on making safe choices. Some talking points are available at mcsapcoalition.com/links. Spreading the Word: Share information about Red Ribbon Week with friends and family and on social media. Use the hashtag #RedRibbonWeek to join the online conversation. Together, we can raise awareness about the dangers of drug abuse and inspire others to make positive choices.
SHELLY LARSEN Project Coordinator, Martin County Substance Abuse Prevention Coalition shelly@mcsapcoalition.com • (507) 399-1062 P.O. Box 287 • Fairmont, MN 56031 This magazine was developed under a grant from the Office of National Drug Control Policy (ONDCP) DFC Support Program, the US Department of Health and Human Services (HHS), and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). The views, policies, and opinions expressed are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect those of the ONDCP, HHS, or CDC.
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CONFESSIONS FROM THE KITCHEN TABLE
The Adventures of the Traveling Mustard Yellow Pants
W
hat do you do when your child wants to wear that crazy outfit to school? That one outfit that you know definitely isn’t the norm? The one that they may leave the house in beaming with pride, but return home in a puddle of tears? Ugh. The joys of parenting. I remember years ago asking my daughter to get dressed. She was about three years old at the time and came downstairs in a nightgown and rain boots. I thought it was an interesting choice. Luckily that day we didn’t have to leave the house, so I didn’t fight the issue. As my daughter got older, sometimes her choices in clothing were not with the norm. I do remember one crazy pair of winter snow boots. They were fun for a 10-year-old girl. They were black with blue fur at the top and blue hearts embroidered down the sides. She loved them. The first day she wore them to class, she came home and told me that one of her classmates came up to her and told her that she thought her boots were ugly. I remembered asking my daughter how that made her feel. She said that she just told her that she liked them and that is all that mattered, and she continued to wear them. (I know not all kids have that level of self-esteem at the age of ten.) Now fast-forward to present day. I have a son in the second grade who is an extreme extrovert. He is not afraid to talk to anyone. We struggle with personal boundaries. I find myself saying “personal bubble” constantly when we are in public, which is all okay. The other major struggle I have with him is his choice of clothing. He loves to stand out; however, we all know that kids can be mean and tease kids who go against the norm. We recently had a situation
where my son wanted to wear his mustard-colored pants (which were hand-me-downs from a good friend) to school. Now, I know there is nothing wrong with mustard-colored pants. Most likely I would even wear mustard-colored pants if I had them; however, as an adult, I would probably be considered more fashion-forward. As my son was getting dressed that morning, I heard my fears start creeping into my brain (my shark music was playing at full blast). I was thinking, “What will the other kids think of the mustard-colored pants, or will some kid come up and tell him he looks ‘like a weirdo’?” Then I thought about how amazing my son is for following what he likes and not following the crowd. There are times when I wanted to march to the beat of my own drum, but I was too afraid of being gawked and laughed at. I started to realize that I was projecting my fears onto my son. I know that he may or may not get gawked at, pointed at, or be teased. On the other hand, what amazing courage he has to follow his likes and dislikes. He doesn’t have to follow the crowd. Maybe it will be harder for him, but maybe not. I figure he will build resilience while wearing what he feels comfortable in. So, he wore the mustard-colored pants. I don’t know if he got teased or laughed at. He didn’t come home in tears and, in fact, he ended up wearing the mustard-colored pants four days in a row. Perhaps his classmates look to him as a fashionista(?). I look at my son, and I swell with pride for his ability to do something that I struggle with as an adult, and I commend all the kids and adults out in the world who are so confident and resilient. I have learned to embrace my son’s individuality. There may be bumps along the way, but that is how we learn who we are. ■
YOU CAN SUBMIT YOUR STORY AT: shelly@mcsapcoalition.com For many of us the kitchen table represents the typical family experience. We have laughed while having family game night. We have cried over our children’s choices. We have blown out the candles on many cakes. We have argued our way out of doing the dishes. We have struggled through those “three more bites.” We have learned hard lessons and celebrated many deserved successes. One thing is for sure though—if our kitchen tables could talk, there would be plenty of stories! So often it is in relating to others’ stories that we realize there isn’t always one answer, or even a right answer. Parenting is hard work! If you have a story of lessons learned, we invite you to share it with our readers. Sometimes, knowing we aren’t the only ones struggling to find the answer is all the help we need.
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which personality
may be especially
SUBSTANCE ABU 6 Fall 2023 | YC MAGAZINE | www.mcsapcoalition.com
S
ometimes it’s easy to see why someone falls into substance use issues. You look at their life full of hardship or trauma and match that with their tumultuous upbringing and dysfunctional family and think to yourself, “Hey — no wonder.” But with some people, it doesn’t quite add up. Did something happen that we aren’t aware of ? Do they have a genetic predisposition? Well, there’s been some fascinating research revealed in recent years that sheds light on what makes one person more vulnerable to substance use issues than others, and it has to do with their personality. Dr. Patricia Conrod from Quebec, Canada, has led a research team and has demonstrated that personality factors can be highly predictive of who develops problems with alcohol and substance misuse. There are four personality types, particularly, that seem to have a higher correlation with struggles, and there’s a personality profile that can be administered to students to help them better understand themselves. Below are the four personality types that have a uniquely higher risk factor: 1. IMPULSIVITY An impulsive person acts with their gut on the spur of the moment without thinking much about the consequences of their actions. It might remind you of the kid who has behavior issues in class — the one who can’t help but cracking the funny joke or getting too physical with other kids on the playground.
traits
vulnerable to
USE?
By NATURAL HIGH STAFF
2. SENSATION SEEKING A sensation seeker craves excitement and often acts without thinking clearly about the consequences. You might be reminded of the kid who’s a risk-taker outside of school in the activities they pursue — the one who shows videos of herself skateboarding down a hill without a helmet. 3. ANXIETY SENSITIVITY The assessment describes someone with this type of personality as a person who has stressful physical sensations and worries about anxious feelings. 4. NEGATIVE THINKING A person who often feels sad, guilty, and irritable is susceptible to negative thinking. This is often a more difficult personality to observe since thinking happens underneath the surface. But, adults can usually detect these kinds of thoughts based on their facial expressions or comments they overhear. continued on page 9
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CHAD & CHRISSY LUTTERMAN We Support Martin County Youth Substance Abuse Prevention LuttermanLawns.com | 507.238.2064
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PERSONALITY TRAITS continued from page 7
WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR PARENTS? First, it’s helpful to consider who the kids are in our lives and how best to care for them. Also, it speaks to the importance of providing opportunities for kids to grow in self-awareness. Everyone deserves an opportunity to get to know themselves, and it’s especially helpful when adults are open and honest about themselves and their own lives, first. Additionally, parents can commit to engaging in honest discussions with their kids about their personality tendencies, acting as neutral mirrors to help them understand themselves. Knowledge, in many ways, leads not only to power but also self-awareness as a foundation for healthy choices. Personality Risk Factor #1: IMPULSIVITY Matthew was always the class clown. Even in his early elementary years, he developed a reputation for frequently interrupting class to make a joke, using physical humor to make his peers laugh, and on the playground, he was notorious for breaking the rules of whatever game they were playing. When he got to middle school, nothing changed. In fact, he seemed to get more brazen in his interjections, using inappropriate words to get a big reaction. When he got to high school, not only was he on a first-name basis with the assistant principal and behind in most of his classes, but he was also one of the first kids of his year to drink alcohol and vape at parties. The kids and the parents in the community weren’t surprised. His misbehavior and lack of self-control had been clear since first grade. Many parents and teachers made side comments about how much Matthew would struggle to transition into becoming a responsible adult. It’s difficult to manage life successfully when you lack self-control, and the kids who struggle the most with behavior and discipline are often the ones who have academic struggles as well. Without knowing the source of impulsivity in each kid — whether it’s an intense home environment, genetic predisposition such as Attention-Deficit/ Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), immaturity, or poor role modeling — the results have similar patterns. It doesn’t go well for them later in life, and they might make some truly harmful mistakes along the way. Later on, fueled by a strong desire to fit in and find acceptance from their peers, with less adult supervision and more freedom,
By definition, impulsive behavior is thoughtless action. It’s acting before thinking. The skill, then, to cultivate is to learn how to think before acting. The only way to help a kid get there is to act as their narrator.
kids who struggle with impulsivity can often be the first ones to experiment with harmful substances. Impulsivity looks different in each kid. For instance: • Some kids do outrageous things to get attention from their peers. • Others can’t help themselves and break clear, simple rules. • Some have a hard time keeping their hands to themselves or saying things that are rude or insulting. • Others might struggle with interrupting their teacher or their friends. Often, they have a hard time being self or socially aware. So what can we do, especially with kids who have a noticeable bias to impulsivity? Consider being more intentional with them to cultivate a skill of thoughtfulness and selfreflection. Here’s how that might look: By definition, impulsive behavior is thoughtless action. It’s acting before thinking. The skill, then, to cultivate is to learn how to think before acting. The only way to help a kid get there is to act as their narrator. So here’s what we suggest you might try:
• After they’ve acted out, take some time to walk them through the sequence of events. With no shame, intensity, or accusation, ask them to talk through what happened, what they did, and process the reaction to their behavior. • Then, invite them to walk through the same scenario again, but this time with a ‘What I Wish I Did’ lens. What could they have done differently? At what point did they realize they had gone too far? What might they do differently next time they’re in a similar situation? It takes a while for any kid to develop self-awareness and wisdom. For some, their executive functioning might have more delays or impediments than others. But, it’s important to be mindful of each kid’s developmental needs, and thoughtful to engage them in the skills everyone needs to handle the complexities of life. Personality Risk Factor #2: SENSATION SEEKING Throughout history, there has been a particular subset of people who are more predisposed to taking extraordinary risks with their safety and wellbeing. They’re called middle school kids. With little regard for their health or long-term consequences, they can be found jumping off buildings or running through traffic in every neighborhood around the world. There’s often an implied correlation between kids who are out and about engaging in reckless activities and substance use. Beyond mere rhetoric, researchers have come to the same conclusion: “Individuals with higher levels of thrill and adventure seeking and disinhibition have been identified by numerous studies to be more likely to initiate substance use, as well as have higher levels of use for both specific substances and combined measures of substance use.” The question, then, is about protection and intervention. How do we protect kids who haven’t yet developed the ability to use their executive reasoning? The research, unfortunately, isn’t overly optimistic: “Most researchers conceptualize sensation seeking as a stable trait which is unlikely to be reduced via intervention…” To translate — we probably can’t stop them from thrill-seeking. We might, however, be able to influence how they express themselves. What does that look like? continued on page 15
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Check out who’s standing out in our community. IS THERE SOMEONE YOU’D LIKE TO NOMINATE? Please email shelly@mcsapcoalition.com and tell us why this individual has stood out in your crowd.
Jorvik Jensen GRANADA HUNTLEY EAST CHAIN HIGH SCHOOL, 12TH GRADE
Jorvik Jensen is a remarkable example of versatile leadership and dedication. As the president of his 4-H club, class president, and vice president for Future Farmers of America, he is a driving force in both his school and community. He excels academically and consistently earns high honors even with taking college courses. He was named a recipient of the ExCEL (Excellence in Community, Education, and Leadership) Award in February, a recognition for high school juniors. Jorvik possesses a unique love for animals, boasting a diverse array of pets including dogs, cats, geese, chickens, Guinea fowl, and sheep. His involvement in showing poultry for 4-H has earned him recognition at the state level multiple times. He also is a varsity soccer player for Fairmont.
Alyx Stahl MARTIN COUNTY WEST, 12TH GRADE
Alyx Stahl is a dynamic force of creativity and dedication in Martin County. With a diverse range of achievements, from academic excellence to leadership roles and community involvement, Alyx stands out as a well-rounded individual. Her talents also extend to graphic design, where she has left an indelible mark on school spirit, from homecoming buttons to theater crewnecks. “Alyx is a phenomenal student. She is one of the best leaders that I have in my choir and has been a blast to work with during the two musical productions I have gotten to work with her on,” said MCW choir teacher Noah Anderson. “She is not afraid of any challenge we throw at her. Also, she is incredibly generous with her time and talents.”
Jayson Matasovsky MARTIN LUTHER HIGH SCHOOL, 10TH GRADE
While Jayson Matasovsky regularly appears on the A honor roll, his dedication extends beyond schoolwork and into the community. He volunteers at Martin County’s STEM Camp Invention and vacation Bible school. Jayson also uses his musical talents to provide accompaniment for Sunday school programs. Jayson has honed his skills in music through years of piano and organ training and has received “superior” ratings for piano solos eight years running at the Minnesota Federation of Music Club’s spring showcases. He also performs at other area Lutheran churches and special events. His passion for creating music videos, his preference for bowties, and his occasional golf games add layers to his multifaceted personality. At this time, he is exploring studying church music in college.
Abigail Peyman FAIRMONT HIGH SCHOOL, 12TH GRADE
Abigail Peyman is the epitome of a well-rounded student. A standout athlete, Abi has excelled in basketball and tennis, contributing to her tennis team’s section championship, fourth-place state ranking, and Big South Conference championship. She’s showcased her talents in the fine arts through band, choir, and orchestra, earning superior ratings at regional music contests. She has also participated in musicals, plays, and speech where she achieved seventh place at State in original oratory. Her leadership qualities are apparent in her roles as student council president and student representative to both the Fairmont School Board and Fairmont Dollars for Scholars Board. Abi’s dedication to her studies, as reflected in her four-year honor-roll status, and her diverse extracurricular involvement are testaments to her remarkable high school journey!
Carter Brudelie TRUMAN HIGH SCHOOL, 12TH GRADE
Carter Brudelie is a standout at Truman High School where he’s not just an athlete but a true leader. Carter has excelled in three sports–football, basketball, and baseball–earning letters in each, with the added honor of being a football team captain. Recently, as a testament to his character and personability, he was crowned Homecoming King. Academically, Carter is a shining star, consistently ranking at the top of his class. Carter’s leadership, dedication, and inclusive spirit have made him a beloved figure at Truman High School. Outside of school, he treasures time with friends and family and enjoys sports, both as a participant and a spectator. He also works a summer job as a groundskeeper for the Truman baseball association.
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40 DEVELOPMENTAL ASSETS
40 Developmental Assets are essential qualities of life that help young people thrive, do well in school, and avoid risky behavior. Youth Connections utilizes the 40 Developmental Assets Framework to guide the work we do in promoting positive youth development. The 40 Assets model was developed by the Minneapolis-based Search Institute based on extensive research. Just as we are coached to diversify our financial assets so that all our eggs are not in one basket, the strength that the 40 Assets model can build in our youth comes through diversity. In a nutshell, the more of the 40 Assets youth possess, the more likely they are to exhibit positive behaviors and attitudes (such as good health and school success) and the less likely they are to exhibit risky behaviors (such as drug use and promiscuity). It’s that simple: if we want to empower and protect our children, building the 40 Assets in our youth is a great way to start. Look over the list of Assets on the following page and think about what Assets may be lacking in our community and what Assets you can help build in our young people. Do what you can do with the knowledge that even through helping build one asset in one child, you are increasing the chances that child will grow up safe and successful. Through our combined efforts, we will continue to be a place where Great Kids Make Great Communities.
Turn the page to learn more!
The 40 Developmental Assets® may be reproduced for educational, noncommercial uses only. Copyright © 1997 Search Institute®, 615 First Avenue NE, Suite 125, Minneapolis, MN 55413; 800-888-7828; www.search-institute.org. All rights reserved.
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assets in action
40 DEVELOPMENTAL ASSETS
5 SUPPORT
Truman Elementary staff welcome students back to school
1. Family support: Family life provides high levels of love and support. 2. Positive family communication: Young person and her or his parent(s) communicate positively, and young person is willing to seek advice and counsel from parent(s). 3. Other adult relationships: Young person receives support from three or more nonparent adults. 4. Caring neighborhood: Young person experiences caring neighbors. 5. Caring school climate: School provides a caring, encouraging environment. 6. Parent involvement in school: Parent(s) are actively involved in helping young person succeed in school.
EMPOWERMENT
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7. Community values youth: Young person perceives that adults in the community value youth. 8. Youth as resources: Young people are given useful roles in the community. 9. Service to others: Young person serves in the community one hour or more per week. 10. Safety: Young person feels safe at home, at school, and in the neighborhood.
BOUNDARIES & EXPECTATIONS Fairmont High football players welcome elementary students back to school
GHEC students shop for the Salvation Army
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11. Family boundaries: Family has clear rules and consequences and monitors the young person’s whereabouts. 12. School boundaries: School provides clear rules and consequences. 13. Neighborhood boundaries: Neighbors take responsibility for monitoring young people’s behavior. 14. Adult role models: Parent(s) and other adults model positive, responsible behavior. 15. Positive peer influence: Young person’s best friends model responsible behavior. 16. High expectations: Both parent(s) and teachers encourage the young person to do well.
CONSTRUCTIVE USE OF TIME
MCW students participate in the Knowledge Bowl competition
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17. Creative activities: Young person spends three or more hours per week in lessons or practice in music, theater, or other arts. 18. Youth programs: Young person spends three or more hours per week in sports, clubs, or organizations at school and/or in the community. 19. Religious community: Young person spends one or more hours per week in activities in a religious institution. 20. Time at home: Young person is out with friends “with nothing special to do” two or fewer nights per week.
If you or your child would like to submit a picture that represents one of the 40 Developmental Assets, please email shelly@mcsapcoalition.com with a picture and the number of the asset the picture represents.
Not all pictures are guaranteed publication.
33 COMMITMENT TO LEARNING
21. Achievement motivation: Young person is motivated to do well in school. 22. School engagement: Young person is actively engaged in learning. 23. Homework: Young person reports doing at least one hour of homework every school day. 24. Bonding to school: Young person cares about her or his school. 25. Reading for pleasure: Young person reads for pleasure three or more hours per week.
POSITIVE VALUES
26. Caring: Young person places high value on helping other people. 27. Equality and social justice: Young person places high value on promoting equality and reducing hunger and poverty. 28. Integrity: Young person acts on convictions and stands up for her or his beliefs. 29. Honesty: Young person “tells the truth even when it is not easy.” 30. Responsibility: Young person accepts and takes personal responsibility. 31. Restraint: Young person believes it is important not to be sexually active or to use alcohol or other drugs.
SOCIAL COMPETENCIES
32. Planning and decision making: Young person knows how to plan ahead and make choices. 33. Interpersonal competence: Young person has empathy, sensitivity, and friendship skills. 34. Cultural competence: Young person has knowledge of and comfort with people of different cultural/racial/ethnic backgrounds. 35. Resistance skills: Young person can resist negative peer pressure and dangerous situations. 36. Peaceful conflict resolution: Young person seeks to resolve conflict nonviolently.
MLHS students play cornhole with friends at the back-to-school gathering
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MLHS Spirit Club members make signs to support their peers
Fairmont Elementary students fundraised for the humane society at their lemonade stand
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POSITIVE IDENTITY
37. Personal power: Young person feels he or she has control over “things that happen to me.” 38. Self-esteem: Young person reports having a high self-esteem. 39. Sense of purpose: Young person reports that “my life has a purpose.” 40. Positive view of personal future: Young person is optimistic about her or his personal future.
GHEC students welcome families to back-to-school orientation night
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... for some kids, negative thinking isn’t something that happens occasionally, it transitions into something psychologists have classified as repetitive negative thinking (RNT). It’s when negative thoughts turn into a pattern, and you ruminate constantly over your interactions with others. As researchers have discovered, kids who struggle with RNT are more prone to turn to unhealthy or harmful ways to find relief.
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PERSONALITY TRAITS continued from page 9
• Give them permission to engage in more risky activities with appropriate safety gear. Let them “send it” on their mountain bikes, with the best helmet and pads money can buy. Go with them and promise to take a video. • Keep track of their whereabouts. Use technology tools like Apple’s Find My app or the Circle 360 app to know where they are and have regular check-in intervals. • Limit their freedom. Adolescents want and need freedom. But they haven’t yet balanced that desire for freedom with the ability to make wise choices. So, although it can be incredibly irritating to them, and taxing on you to listen to their complaints, limit their freedom. • Give them a clear curfew and clear consequences. • Give them a leash. Make it clear where and how far they’re allowed to venture off. • Keep tabs on who their friends are, and if they’re on social media, follow them. You might catch more than a few glimpses of what they’re up to on their Instagram Stories. • And, speaking of social media, limit their ability to be inspired by or post reckless behavior. YouTube, especially, has an endless amount of footage of sensationseeking activity that’s lauded by teens. There’s a wise old saying about teenagers: “Hang on tight to make sure they survive until adulthood.” There’s a lot of truth to that sentiment. Personality Risk Factor #3: ANXIETY SENSITIVITY Have you ever sat next to an anxious flyer in an airplane? Every jolt, bump, or noise can trigger a physical reaction of fear and anxiety in them. Some people with a fear of flying attribute it to a specific incident, while others can’t explain where the fear comes from; it’s just ever-present. For people who rarely feel anxiety or fear, it’s difficult to understand someone who’s plagued by it. But for people with high sensitivity to anxiety, they can hardly imagine a life that’s carefree or calm. Over 30 years ago, psychologists classified a type of person who is especially prone to anxiety as having anxiety sensitivity. For this person, not only do they experience anxiety and fear more often than most, but they also suffer from the idea of anxiety and anxious feelings. They feel anxious about getting anxious. It could be anxiety about being picked on, or about being enclosed in tight spaces.
Here’s a sobering reality: anxiety sensitivity has been linked to alcohol abuse later in life. As someone experiments with drinking, they recognize a byproduct of alcohol’s effects — a decrease in the sensations of anxiety. Enjoying and appreciating the relief, those with high anxiety sensitivity can easily slip into self-medicating by drinking in order to find reprieve from fear. It makes sense, and, through an empathetic lens, it’s easy to see the relief that someone can find through the escape. But it’s a major problem since we know that frequent alcohol use and abuse will lead to psychological, relational, and physical harm. What can parents do to support (and appropriately intervene) kids who are high on the anxiety sensitivity scale? • Be mindful of the risk factors and thoughtfully educate kids on the connection between anxiety sensitivity and alcohol misuse. Intervention studies have shown that students who are more aware of their risk factors make wiser choices. • Teach them effective ways to manage their own anxiety and fear. Proven practices like mindful breathing, extra intentionality in a holistic, healthy lifestyle, including proper sleep, nutrition, and exercise, as well as coping mechanisms when in a state of panic, can all go far to help kids gain a sense of control. • Avoid any sense of shame around anxiety or fear. They can’t just toughen up, intellectually override their sense of impending doom, or stop thinking about whatever they’re feeling anxious about. Rather, we can come alongside them in a compassionate, patient way, allowing them the chance to feel safe with us, share their experience, and find a sense of grounding through a healthy bond. It’s difficult to be an adolescent, much more difficult if you’re dealing with an anxiety issue. But we can be intentional to guide students through those years and help them grow in self-awareness and healthy coping strategies for self-management. Those are the foundations for a thriving life in the future. Personality Risk Factor #4: NEGATIVE THINKING Negative thinking happens to everyone — regardless of personality or disposition. We live in a critical society where even the slightest awkward social interaction can cause us to feel bad about ourselves. Whether it’s in a work meeting, a
conversation with an acquaintance, or over the dinner table, reflecting on how we might’ve been misunderstood, overreacted, or said the wrong thing at the wrong time is a familiar experience. Kids especially are prone to negative thinking. As they enter adolescence, they become hypersensitive to acceptance, rejection, and criticism. It’s easy for them to beat themselves up for saying, wearing or laughing at the wrong thing. For some kids, negative thinking isn’t something that happens occasionally. It transitions into something psychologists have classified as repetitive negative thinking (RNT). It’s when negative thoughts turn into a pattern, and you ruminate constantly over your interactions with others. As researchers have discovered, kids who struggle with RNT are more prone to turn to unhealthy or harmful ways to find relief. In fact, 20 out of 27 official studies showed a link between RNT and problematic drinking. What can adults do to help kids through negative thinking so the kids avoid making harmful choices that ruin their lives? It starts with being intentional to have conversations with them about their mental activity. • The best thing we can do is to provide them a frequent, safe space to process their thoughts and feelings. We can guide them through frequent self-examination through facilitated reflection, both in writing and in conversation with peers and adults. • People who learn to examine their thinking patterns find they are more aware of negative thoughts in real-time and can adjust how they respond to them. They can talk themselves through the choices they have in front of them. • Guided reflection can help them process memories or past events or experiences that continue to influence their perspective. They can recall those events, express the thoughts and feelings now that they wish they had the capacity or safety to and find relief and release in the negative thoughts. When someone doesn’t become more selfaware, they will often make unconscious decisions to find relief from discomfort. So, they need to know there are other, healthier alternatives. There are effective solutions to negative thinking that takes the kids down a path of real freedom, rather than numbing and avoidance. It requires intentional, deliberate effort and intervention. ■
www.mcsapcoalition.com | YC MAGAZINE | Fall 2023
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WHAT KIDS ARE
really saying By OFFICER GOMEZ
Think your kids speak a different language sometimes? According to this list, they do. Officer Gomez is a school resource officer who can “translate” for parents. He states, “I try to keep this list updated and relevant. High school kids who graduated last year say it’s already outdated and will disagree with some items on this list.” If your kids are using terms you don’t know, you can also search urban dictionary online to decipher what they’re saying but trying to keep from you. Bussin = very good, as in a meal. Lowkey = expressing interest or intent while at the same time being dismissive about the subject.
Tea/Goss = The scoop or gossip. “Spill the tea.” Body Count = How many people you have had sex with.
X or MDMA = Ecstasy Lean = Homemade alcohol consisting of Sierra Mist, orange Starbursts, and cough syrup. Popular with middle and high school kids.
Facts = Used in response to a point wellmade. e.g., Person 1: “This school is wack!” Person 2: “Facts.”
Sus = Suspicious (From the game Among Us) Thicc = Pleasantly plump; curvy in the right places.
Plug = Drug dealer. (“Anyone have any acid or shroom plugs?”)
Fake = The ultimate insult; an adjective describing someone who has a fake persona, lies a lot, talks behind people’s backs, and pretends to be your friend but secretly doesn’t like you.
Wack = Negative term meaning “that sucks.”
Halfie = Already been smoked cigarette. Teens pick up halfies in the apartment complex under balconies where people smoke. They also go through the ash tray at the convenience store.
Fam = Used to describe those you consider family. Fire = Describes something that is really good or cool. Glow-Up = A transformation of one’s appearance, usually from unattractive to very attractive. Goals = A term used to describe what someone wants in their life (i.e., “Couple goals, squad goals”). HMU = An acronym for “hit me up,” which could refer to hanging out, texting, or talking on the phone. I’m Dead (or just “Dead”) = A reaction to someone being funny. A replacement for LMAO. Lit = When something is amazing or popping. Mood = Used in lieu of “same here;” relatable; summing up one’s life. Salty = Being upset over something little or inconvenient. Slide Into Their DMs = A phrase used to signify that one wants to send a flirtatious message over social media. Snacc = An attractive person; someone that looks so good that you want to eat them for a snack. Related: The phrase “full-course meal” was derived from “snacc” —it refers to an upgrade. Squad = One’s group of friends.
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Woke = Describes someone who’s deep or intellectually enlightened. Salt Nic / 50 Nic = The newest, most potent vape juice that contains 50mg of nicotine. 10x more nicotine than a cigarette (depending on the data you look at). I have found data showing cigarettes contain between 1mg-16mg of nicotine. Mod Box = Older generation vape devices which are larger and produce quite a bit of smoke. Usually have removable batteries that come out the bottom. Dab Pens = Similar to a vape device except used to smoke concentrated illegal substances such as highly potent marijuana wax. Dab pens are usually round as opposed to vape devices which are normally square although not always. Ghosting = Letting out vape smoke very slowly so no one notices you are vaping. This is usually done in class so the teacher does not see you are smoking in their class. Old definition of Ghosting was abandoning your friendship with someone and pretending they don’t exist. Nicotine-free Vape Juice = Very illusive, almost mythical liquid that many parents seem to think their kids are smoking in every vape device. Out of more than 150 dealings with vapes in the last year, I have never seen a kid have nicotinefree vape juice. CCC / Triple C = Coricidin (Cough Medicine). This is why more and more cough medicines are behind the counter. = Cocaine = Crystal Meth
Smash = To have sex with. Netflix and Chill = Come over and have casual no-strings-attached sex. Pressie = Homemade Rx drugs. Teens have a pill press and order chemicals from China to make their own Norco or Adderall pills. HMU = Hit me up. “HMU to buy a JUUL (vape device) for $15.” Twenty-one year old’s buy Juuls for $20 and sell them to underage kids for $30. Hydros = Hydrocodone pills. Bars/Xans/Xanneys = Xanex pills, yellow school busses are yellow Xanex pills. $10 dollars a pill is the going price. Dro = Marijuana-smoking device where they submerge half a plastic bottle in water to have a condensed smoke marijuana hit. Cids = Acid Tabs. Similar to 60’s era acid (hallucinogenic) only much more potent. $10 dollars per acid tab is the going price. These are very easy to hide as they are the thickness of a postage stamp. Concentrates = High THC marijuana products such as shatter and dabs. Made by boiling down marijuana with some easily-found online recipes. Edibles = Marijuana baked into lots of edible treats such as brownies, rice krispies, and many other snacks.
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NUMBERS I heard Spotify might be dangerous for my kids. What should I be aware of? As a parent of three teenagers and a professional who works with kids with problematic sexual behaviors, I am (unfortunately) familiar with problems with porn and the kinds of technology that are available to kids today. But I recently learned that the music app Spotify is being used to access and share porn, and by predators to solicit children. The app allows users to create playlists and share them with others, which we knew, and thought was a great way to let our music-loving kids be creative and - we thought make something like the beloved “mix tapes” of our era. It hadn’t occurred to us that when you create a playlist, you can also add a photograph. That can be a pornographic photograph. When you add a description of your playlist, it can be a solicitation to send or trade pornographic pictures. It can also include an email address or other form of communication, which can lead kids to message predators. Emailing can lead to instructions to create a new app (one parents may not know of) to receive instructions from the predator. You can imagine where this goes next. Even if they’re not sharing photos, kids can see and collect all kinds of wildly pornographic photos on various playlists. One of our kids violated our house rules on phone usage so all other apps were locked down as a consequence. Spotify was left because we thought it was safe and thought listening to music could be a good and healthy outlet for teen energy. We had no idea it would lead to sexual exploitation. Now we’d like other parents to know so they can protect their kids. Happy Parenting, Officer Gomez
5
The number of hours it takes to make a spacesuit
1500
The number of flowers a bee hummingbird drinks from per day
30
The minutes per day of complaining it takes to physically damage your brain
2.4
The distance in miles between the U.S. and Russia at their closest point
7
Officer Gomez is a school resource officer who has a Facebook page where he posts information to help parents keep their kids safe. Information can be found on a variety of topics that parents may not be aware of that affect kids. His page can be found here: https://www.facebook.com/deputygomez. Officer Gomez shares the information you need to navigate today’s kids and schools. Additional information can be found on his YouTube channel as well at @officergomez.
HAVE A QUESTION?
shelly@mcsapcoalition.com We cannot guarantee all questions will be published; however, we will do our best to respond to all questions submitted.
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The percentage of Americans who think that chocolate milk comes from brown cows
53,540
The temperature of a lightning bolt, in degrees Fahrenheit
For employment opportunities apply online at: www.FairmontFoods.com Para oportunidades de trabajo/ empleo aplica en: www.FairmontFoods.com 905 East Fourth Street, Fairmont, MN 56031 Phone 507-238-9001
Fairmont Foods Foods is a Proud Supporter of Martin County Youth Substance Abuse Prevention
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WHAT TO DO IF
your child is a bully By ALEX MOORE
B
ullying is a common occurrence in schools regardless of age. And while bullying often happens at school, youth are vulnerable to bullies anywhere. Cyberbullying is on the rise. Pew Research Center data shows that about 6 in 10 teens have been bullied or harassed . “Bullying is not normal, natural or necessary,” said Barbara Coloroso, speaker and author of The Bully, the Bullied, and the Not-So-Innocent Bystander. “You have to learn to be mean to someone else.” But if it’s a learned behavior, she believes it can also be unlearned. And parents who discover that their child is bullying someone else can play an important part in putting an end to inappropriate behavior. Bullying starts earlier than people might think—age four-and-a-half for girls and five for boys, Coloroso said. The reason is that the majority of bullying is verbal, and girls tend to be more verbal at a younger age. An example of bullying at this age might be a child saying, “You can’t come to my birthday party.” Coloroso defines three types of bullying: Verbal: The most common type among both boys and girls, which includes namecalling, racial or sexual slurs, or mocking of a person’s appearance or differences. Physical: The least common but most visible type of bullying, which more often occurs among boys than among girls. Social or Relational: This type includes gossip, rumors and exclusion and tends to be more common among girls. WHY DO KIDS BULLY? StopBullying.gov highlights reasons why kids may bully, which include these contributing factors: Peer factors: The desire to raise their status in their peer group or maintain social power by excluding others. Emotional factors: Insecurity, low selfesteem or the inability to manage their emotions. Family factors: A home life where aggression and domestic violence are common, or where parents are too indulgent or uninvolved in their children’s lives.
“One of the strongest buffers a child can have against being a bully is being a good friend.” Barbara Coloroso
“Bullying tends to run in the family,” Coloroso said. “Has the child seen bullying behavior modeled? How are domestic workers or people in the service industry treated? Children are watching. They’re great observers of our behavior,” she said, adding that kids can also learn bullying in daycare or school or from the media they’re exposed to. HOW TO STOP BULLYING Adults who witness or hear about bullying should intervene immediately, Coloroso said. It’s easier to stop bullying in the early stages—emphasis on the word “stop.” Too often, students who have bullied and the classmates who they bullied are forced into conflict resolution workshops. “It’s important to remember that bullying is not about anger or conflict; it’s about contempt. Conflicts you resolve, bullying you stop.” Conflict is an active disagreement or fight between people with opposing views. Contempt is a feeling of dislike toward somebody considered to be worthless, inferior and undeserving of respect. PUNISHMENT VS. DISCIPLINE There are many examples on social media, such as parents who force their child to hold a sign saying “I am a bully” on a busy street corner. But shaming isn’t an effective way to change behavior, and it can have harmful consequences. Coloroso distinguishes punishment as doing something to a child that may damage the child’s self-esteem. Discipline is doing something with a child that gives them ownership of what they’ve
done wrong and ways to solve it, which leaves the child’s dignity intact. “Our job is to humble—not humiliate—the bully and empower the targeted child,” she said. HOW TO HANDLE A BULLY What does work when dealing with a child who bullies? Coloroso says it must include the Three R’s. Restitution: Have the child own and fix what they did. For example, the child who broke a classmate’s favorite pencil on purpose must replace it. An apology is also in order, but it must not be forced. An insincere “I’m sorry” solves nothing. Resolution: Help the child figure out how to keep it from happening again. If the child felt jealous or angry and broke a classmate’s pencil, adults may need to help them work through their feelings and figure out more constructive ways to handle them. Reconciliation: Encourage the child to heal with the person they harmed, if that person is willing—though they might not be. Other strategies that can help address bullying behaviors: Create opportunities to do good: The more a child can behave in caring and helpful ways toward others, the less likely they will be to want to treat others with disregard. Nurture empathy: “Empathy is an inborn quality in human beings,” writes Coloroso. Yet bullies tend to see incidents only from their own point of view and be concerned only with their own feelings. Teach friendship skills: A child may have resorted to bullying because they couldn’t figure out another way to make friends. To have friends, we need to be a friend, writes Coloroso. “One of the strongest buffers a child can have against being a bully is being a good friend.” Just because a child has engaged in bullying behaviors does not mean there’s no hope for reform, she explains. “It is never too late to change the dynamics. Just as the student was capable of being disrespectful and malicious and callous, so is she capable of being respectful, kind, and compassionate.” ■
This article is for informational purposes only. For concerns about the behaviors that a child is displaying, a social worker, psychologist, behavioral specialist or counselor may be able to offer support. www.mcsapcoalition.com | YC MAGAZINE | Fall 2023
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THE DANGERS OF CBD By STAFF
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n early 2023, the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration issued a warning about Cannabidiol, or CBD. They state the “public should be aware of the misconceptions surrounding CBD products, as well as the potential harms and risks associated with their use.” CBD has been marketed as a treatment for multiple health conditions; however, there is a lack of evidence to support many of the claims. One concern is the concentration of CBD may be more or less than advertised, and because of a lack of quality control, the manufacturing process may introduce harmful biological and chemical contaminants, including THC, which is the psychoactive ingredient in marijuana. Another concern is the potential risks and harms associated with CBD including adverse drug interactions, liver toxicity, and reproductive and developmental effects. To find out if there is a drug interaction with CBD or marijuana, visit drugs.com, click on the “Interactions Checker” and enter “Cannabidiol.” It shows that there are 578 drug interactions. (Do the same for cannabis. The results may be shocking.) Short-term effects of CBD include changes in alertness and mood, and drowsiness. Long-term effects include liver injury and male reproductive toxicity. Because of the lack of quality control and unreliable labeling, users of CBD may actually be ingesting THC, and ultimately screen positive for marijuana. One study found that among 84 commercial CBD extracts purchased online from 31 companies, the CBD concentration was only labeled accurately in 31% of the products. Almost 43% were under-labeled and 26% were overlabeled. This can pose significant health risks when using them for medical conditions, particularly in children. Unclear or misleading labeling may pose work-related, legal, and health risks, given that the use of unsuspected THC may threaten an individual’s current or prospective employment, including athletics. There are also concerns around product formulations, purity and dosage, unintentional product exposure to children and pets, and potential adverse events, such as vomiting, hallucinations, and loss of consciousness. ■
TIPS FOR PARENTS Talk with children about the risks and harms of using products that contain CBD. Do not allow children to use over-the-counter CBD products. Do not use CBD simultaneously with medications, alcohol, or illicit drugs. Be aware that the risk of CBD containing THC is unknown, therefore its use may affect employment or other drug screenings.
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