ALSO
Summer Break: Teens at Risk
JUNE 2014
|
youthconnectionscoalition.org
board game benefits
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
» Age-Appropriate Chores and Rewards » Following the Rules » Maintaining Progress During Summer Break
Healthy Families A local program offering free support and education for families who have young children or are expecting. The Healthy Families Team of nurses, nutritionists, and social workers specializes in: • Healthy pregnancy and preparation for a healthy baby • Wellness and child development • Breastfeeding • Nutrition • Safety • Attachment and bonding • Parent skill building • Screenings and resource referrals • Asthma education and support • Support for a tobacco-free home
Contact us for an office or home visit: 406-457-8912 healthyfamiliesinfo@ lccountymt.gov Lewis & Clark City-County HEALTH DEPARTMENT
www.lewisandclarkhealth.org www.facebook.com/LewisandClarkHealth
june 2014
FEATURES
6 Age-Appropriate Chores and Rewards 14 How Do I Make My Child Follow the Rules? 16 Maintain this Year's Goals for Next School Year 20 The Benefits of Board Games Break: 23 Summer Teens at Risk IN EVERY ISSUE
2 From the Director 5 The Kitchen Table 10 Faces in the Crowd 11 40 Developmental Assets 12 Assets in Action 18 Q&A and By the Numbers BROUGHT TO YOU BY
PROUD MEMBER OF
PRODUCED IN CONJUNCTION WITH
TO ADVERTISE (406) 996-1361
COVER PHOTO BY Helena Photography
youthconnectionscoalition.org
TO CONTRIBUTE (406) 324-1032 |
YC MAGAZINE
|
June 2014
1
ON THE COVER
Nolan and Riley are 7th graders and enjoy anything outdoors. Nolan wrestles and plays football. He has four brothers and sisters. Riley plays football, lacrosse and participates in track. He is also involved in 4H.
About Youth Connections Youth Connections is a coalition of over 700 community members representing parents, educators, churches, youthserving organizations, businesses, and more who want to make Helena a healthy and supportive place for kids and families. Youth Connections recognizes the need to reduce negative behaviors including substance use and violence while also working to increase positive opportunities and mental wellness for all our local kids. So how do we do that? We know there is no silver bullet to making communities great, and so we do LOTS of things that we know make communities better. For example, we helped place professionals in the schools to help students who may be suffering from substance abuse or mental health issues. We support agencies and businesses who offer youth activities by helping coordinate transportation and funds for kids to be involved in activities. We support student mentoring relationships. We also know that when kids know better, they do better, so we support classroom education in the areas of bullying prevention and substance use prevention. Youth Connections also understands we must support the adults in kids’ lives and therefore we provide training, education, networks, and collaborative opportunities for parents and professionals to connect with others who care about kids. Youth Connections is well known for its quarterly publication, YC Magazine, a resource for parents and the entire community. These are just some of the projects we’re working on to serve our mission of engaging our community to create environments where youth thrive and succeed. For a comprehensive list of activities, services, and ways you can get involved, please visit our website at www. youthconnectionscoalition.org.
2
June 2014
|
YC MAGAZINE
|
youthconnectionscoalition.org
from the
director coleen smith
t looks like it’s finally going to be summer! With that comes the excitement of warm days, bike rides, and ice cream cones. Of course it also means the kids are home…all day, every day. What can start out as the excitement of summer vacation can soon turn into “how many more days until school starts!?”
We’ve assembled what should be some good tips to keep kids busy and happy. To take a tip from the prevention world, “if they’re busy with positive activities, they don’t have time for negative ones.” The list of age-appropriate chores has been very popular with parents who have previewed the article. Setting clear expectations the first day of vacation will help make the summer more enjoyable for everyone. Speaking of setting expectations, we've included some good information on how to get your kids to follow the rules. It’s been extremely effective in the school setting, so why not try what is proven to work? Research shows that 80 percent of people (adults too) will follow the rules if they know what they are; 15 percent will follow them if they know why the rule is in place, and unfortunately five percent aren’t going to follow them no matter what. But I do like those odds! Teachers know how important it is for kids to keep reading and learning over the summer. It’s no different than letting your car sit for several months and trying to start it; it can take some work to get it up and running again. We’ve got a great article with lots of handy tips to keep kids reading and learning over the summer to avoid “brain drain”. Lastly, a huge thank you to Sydney Fisher. Sydney interned with us for her senior project. You’ll see an article written by her in the Q&A, she researched the chores and rewards information, and a lot of the leg work was done by her for Faces in the Crowd. Thank you, Sydney!!! You did an amazing job. We wish you all the best next year as you venture out to make your own place in the world. Here’s to a great, safe, learning-filled summer!
Coleen Smith, YC Director Phone: (406) 324-1032 Helena Middle School, Room 210
REAL investing
REAL banking
START PLANNING FOR YOUR FUTURE TODAY.
SAVE FOR YOUR FAMILY’S HEALTH CARE COSTS WITH A
HEALTH SAVINGS ACCOUNT
A Montana Community Bank Since 1922 www.americanfederalsavingsbank.com
SUMMER hours 11 am - 10 pm every day. 58 N. Last Chance Gulch / 513-1051 / www.bigdippericecream.com
Teens Team Up Against ‘Big Tobacco’ Young people are primary targets of deceptive tobacco marketing! reACT — a Montana, youth-led, anti-tobacco movement — empowers and motivates teens to stand up to Big Tobacco companies’ deceptive marketing. Get involved! Middle and high school students can take part in local reACT projects by contacting the Health Department:
Congratulations! The Lewis & Clark City-County Health Department and Townsend Youth Council used reACT grants this year to hold a billboard design contest calling attention to tobacco industry marketing toward youth. Winners were (l to r) Madeline Taylor, East Valley Middle School; Christina Ward, Capital High School; and Mirranda Gower, Broadwater High School.
457-8924
healthinfo@lccountymt.gov
Lewis & Clark City-County HEALTH DEPARTMENT youthconnectionscoalition.org
|
YC MAGAZINE
|
June 2014
3
The Friendship Center helps survivors of domestic and sexual violence gain access to community services and resources which provide the assistance they need to resolve their crisis and begin to rebuild their lives. SERVICES INCLUDE: • 24 hour a day crisis line • Safe shelter • Emotional support • Domestic violence and sexual assault support groups • Case management • Legal advocacy • Order of Protection assistance • Information and referrals • Community education and outreach
(406) 442-6800 24 Hours
Walk and Bike Safely! Help your children get the physical activity they need while forming healthy habits to last a lifetime.
www.bikewalkhelena.org 1430 Sanders, Helena
A message from the Lewis & Clark City-County Health Dept.
www.thefriendshipcenter.org
4
June 2014
|
YC MAGAZINE
|
youthconnectionscoalition.org
confessions from The kitchen table
the truth doesn’t have to hurt bout a month ago, my 11-year-old son invited a friend to have dinner with our family. On this particular night I made spaghetti, rolls, and salad knowing this is usually a fairly safe company menu. I think it was because I intentionally tried to pick a “guest friendly” meal that I was taken aback when my son’s friend revealed he didn’t like my spaghetti and wanted a peanut butter sandwich instead. My husband and I have tried to instill a sense of self in our kids, encouraging them to speak out and stand up for their thoughts, feelings, and beliefs. We have taught them to advocate for themselves and not to sit back and be quiet when there is something they need or want. “I can’t read your mind” became a common phrase in our house as we tried to teach our kids that if you have a thought or opinion, it is your responsibility to share. I believe kids shouldn’t have to eat the chocolate cake offered at a birthday party if chocolate makes them sick, and they should have the confidence to stand up to their friends when their peers propose a recreational idea that seems unsafe. However, in the moment I heard from someone else’s child that he didn't like my cooking, I no longer saw it as the child advocating for himself. What I felt was rejection and disappointment mixed with a little humiliation. The very skill that my
husband and I have worked so hard to instill in our own children was used on me and, quite frankly, hurt my feelings. As parents, how do we instill a sense of self and independence, yet mix it with teaching empathy for others? How do we teach our kids to say what is on their mind, but also be sensitive to how their words may impact others? Is it in an attempt to raise a generation of kids who are outspoken and confident, I have forgotten how to teach empathy? When I was growing up, the pendulum was on the other side. I was instructed to keep my opinions to myself, to always eat what was on my plate, and to just “be agreeable” with others. There were times I did things I didn’t want to do and ate things I didn’t like because I didn’t want to hurt someone’s feelings. I was raised that it was more important to think about how the other person was going to feel about my response than it was for me to advocate for myself. It was in the moment of my spaghetti rejection I realized that somewhere in the last thirty-five years the culture has shifted to the other end where a person’s individual thoughts and opinions sometimes overshadow insight about how those thoughts and feelings could make others feel. Lesson learned that night ... I need to bring focus into helping my kids understand not only how to stand up for themselves, like
when a boy asks you to a dance and you don’t want to go, but how to do it with grace and kindness that won’t leave him feeling rejected, disappointed, and walking away with his chin down like I did on spaghetti night. So how would a parent teach this lesson? Role play and practice can be an excellent way to work on this skill. When your child says he doesn't want to go to the birthday party he was invited to, start by asking him how he would feel if someone told him they didn’t want to come to his party? Have the child reflect on his answer by changing places with the other to see how it would make him feel. Next, work with the child to craft a response in such a way that they can be honest without hurting the other person’s feelings. For example, instead of telling another child that he doesn't want to come to their party, he can explain that his grandparents will be visiting that same weekend and he would really like to see them. For the girl who turned down the dance invitation, she can explain she already made a plan to go with a group of friends. I struggle with the saying, “Sometimes the truth hurts.” I think as parents, part of our role is to teach our kids how to be truthful, without being hurtful. Being aware of our own needs and wants but also aware of how those impact others is a balanced skill that we can help our kids develop into adulthood. ■
You can submit your story at: ycmagazine@youthconnectionscoalition.org For many of us the kitchen table represents the typical family experience. We have laughed while having family game night. We have cried over our children’s choices. We have blown out the candles on many cakes. We have argued our way out of doing the dishes. We have struggled through those “three more bites.” We have learned hard lessons and celebrated many deserved successes. One thing is for sure though – if our kitchen tables could talk, there would be plenty of stories! So often it is in relating to others’ stories that we realize there isn’t always one answer, or even a right answer. Parenting is hard work! If you have a story of lessons learned, we invite you to share it with our readers. Sometimes, knowing we aren’t the only ones struggling to find the answer is all the help we need.
youthconnectionscoalition.org
|
YC MAGAZINE
|
June 2014
5
age-appropriate
Chores
6
June 2014
|
YC MAGAZINE
|
youthconnectionscoalition.org
&
&
rewards By youth connections staff
As we head into summer, it can become a challenge to keep routines going, but it’s important to keep kids busy and motivated. Kids that have chores are more connected to the family and feel they have value. hores should be handled as necessary contributions to the household. They can help children learn teamwork, and this kind of responsibility teaches them that running a household involves effort by everyone in the family. Chores don’t have to be a battle if handled correctly from the beginning. Kids should have choices and be asked their thoughts about where they can make the greatest contributions. Just like adults, kids may react better to having jobs if they feel their preferences are at least considered and they have some control. Parents need to understand that chores performed by smaller children probably won’t be performed at the same level of skill as adults. But repetition allows them to improve the quality of work over time. Quality standards must be set so kids aren’t giving a minimum effort and adopting the attitude that doing a slack job is good enough. There do need to be consequences for poor effort. We have assembled a list of age-appropriate chores for kids, as well as suggested rewards to help get this summer off on the best foot yet.
7
start something Could your little one use a Big? It all starts with the right role models. And Big Brothers Big Sisters is the place to start a relationship with one. For over 100 years, due in large part to private donations, we’ve been able to recruit, screen, match and support mentoring relationships that have changed the lives of hundreds of young people in our community one Little at a time. A study for Big Brothers Big Sisters found that kids matched with a Big Brother or Big Sister: • are more confident • are more likely to steer clear of drugs and alcohol • do better in school • get along better with their family and friends • feel better about themselves eligiBility... who we serve Big Brothers Big Sisters serve as mentors to boys and girls who can benefit from a friendship with a caring adult role model. Children in the BBBS program: • live in the Helena and Boulder area • are between the ages of 6-14 • want to spend time with a Big Brother or Big Sister • agree to a minimum of a one-year time commitment • BBBS will continue to support matches until the “Little” turns 18 or graduates high school
Enroll your child today! Get started at www.bbbs-helena.org
Call: 406.442.7479
helena orthodontics affordable care in a comfortable, fun environment
Special thanks to Youth Connections for all you do for the youth of our community!
ff
a st ur
Are braces in your child’s future? Schedule your complimentary exam today.
to
ee
m
We offer a wide range of treatment options including traditional braces, clear braces and Invisalign.
Jeffrey C. Foster DMD, ABO Daniel R. Fiehrer DDS, MS
Jeffrey C. Foster DMD
Beautiful Smiles... a World of Possibilities!
900 N Last Chance Gulch, Ste 101 www.helenaorthodontics.com 442.0288
8
June 2014
|
YC MAGAZINE
|
youthconnectionscoalition.org
age-appropriate
Chores
2-3 years » Unload dishes (non-breakable) » Pick up their own toys » Put dirty clothes in hampers » Restock toilet paper in bathrooms » Throw trash away » Fold washcloths » Set the table » Dust baseboards 4-5 years » Load dishwasher (non-glass items) » Empty small trash cans » Clear the table of their own dishes » Make their bed » Put away folded clothes » Feed pets » Water houseplants » Prepare simple snacks » Set the table 6-7 years » Vacuum » Set table » Peel potatoes or carrots » Clean their own room » Dust » Fold and put away clothes » Gather trash » Dust mop floors » Rake leaves 8-10 years » Load dishwasher » Hang/fold clean clothes » Put groceries away » Clean toilets » Help with yard care » Clean mirrors » Bring in mail or paper » Sweep porches or garage » Wipe off counters or table 11-14 years » Prepare a meal » Wash/vacuum car » Paint walls » Take garbage/recycling to curb » Mow lawn » Bake bread or cookies » Iron clothes » Watch younger siblings » Shop for groceries with a list 15-18 years » Make meals and meal plan » Grocery shop » Clean kitchen » Have a job in the community » Do all their own laundry
reward ideas
Rewards are an effective way to get children to learn new behaviors and subdue undesirable ones, but they only work if they’re used consistently. The beginning of summer is a good time to start new habits. Below is a chart that can help parents line out the expectations of behavior with a rewards chart so that children can see how they’re progressing. Daily Rewards » Reading with a parent for X minutes » Choosing radio station in car » Educational games on computer for X minutes » Choosing family TV show » Talking on phone with friend » Video game time for X minutes » Playing outside for X minutes » Television time for X minutes » Listening to music for X minutes » Dessert after dinner » Staying up X minutes beyond bedtime Daily or Weekly Rewards » Going to a friend’s house » Having a friend over » Allowance » Bike riding/skating/skateboarding, etc. (in neighborhood for daily reward; longer trip with family as weekly reward) » Special activity with parent » Special time with mom or dad for X minutes » Earn day off from chores » Game of choice with family/parent » Build a fort » Do an art project
Weekly Rewards
» Going to video arcade » Going fishing » Going shopping » Going to a movie » Playing at the park » Getting ice cream » Bowling/miniature golf/go carts, etc. » Selecting something special at
the store » Having a sleepover at home or at a friend’s house » Choosing a family movie » Staying up late on a weekend Longer-term rewards » Camping trip » Baseball game » Purchase a video game » Attend parade or festival » Have a slumber party
chart method
Charts are particularly effective, especially with children who may have attention issues. It’s also a way to learn a little math. The ‘points in the bank’ is a running total of all the earned points minus any “withdrawals” the child chooses to spend. Of course the more chores that are on there, the more the child has the opportunity to earn rewards. Give each chore or responsibility a point value. Cleaning room may be worth three points, but brushing teeth is only worth one. Design a chart and put it where it’s visible for the child to keep track. Use the Rewards ideas to assign a point system. At the bottom of the chart list those options. For example:
» Choose radio station.......5 points » Dessert after dinner........7 points » Game on computer
for 20 minutes...............10 points » Family bike ride............. 15 points » Movie night..................... 15 points » Trip to the park............. 20 points
annie's chores and Responsibilities
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun
Get Self Dressed by 7 am (1 pt)
1
1
1
Read for 10 Minutes (2 pts)
2
1
2
Set Table (2 pts)
2
1
1
2
2
2
2
Clean Room (3 pts)
3
Total Daily Points
5
3
3
3
1
3
5
Minus Spent Points 10 = Points in the Bank
3
6
9
10
13
8
13
When children can see their bank balance increase the more they do, it gives them incentives to build that balance to enable them to choose the rewards they want. It’s a win-win for everyone. Kids will want to do chores or exhibit good conduct to earn their rewards, and you will see the behaviors you want.
youthconnectionscoalition.org
|
YC MAGAZINE
|
June 2014
9
Check out who’s standing out in our community. IS THERE SOMEONE YOU’D LIKE TO NOMINATE? Please email cosmith@helena.k12.mt.us and tell us why this individual has stood out in your crowd.
Preslie Smith
FACES IN THE CROWD
Rossiter elementary school, 5th grade
Preslie recently won the “Kindness Makes Miracles” contest. She designed a t-shirt with the message “Stand Up and Help Stop Bullying, Be a Friend”. When she was awarded her $200 prize, so got up and spoke about bullying. It was hard for her to relate a story she witnessed about bullying, but she did a great job! When she’s not busy designing t-shirts, she is active in gymnastics. Thanks, Preslie for taking a stand. A picture of the t-shirt she designed can be seen on the “Find Your Spot” Facebook page
Rachel Jakovac
Helena Middle School, 7th grade
Rachel is a young lady who is exemplary in every way. She is kind and respectful to her peers and the adults around her. She always goes the extra mile with assignments and takes full responsibility for her own success. She is involved in multiple activities outside of the classroom, including dance. Rachel is an ambitious goal setter – she is currently in the process of writing a book. She maintains a positive attitude and never complains, despite how many things she balances on her plate. Rachel is a quiet leader – she leads by her actions and is an incredible example for others.
Kate Robbins
Capital High school, 12th grade
For nine years, Kate has been involved in competitive alpine ski racing for Great Divide and regularly helps with course setup and assistance with children on the hill. Last year she volunteered in a kindergarten class every day at Hawthorne Elementary School. Kate was also presented with the Distinguished Achiever Award from the Helena Education Foundation, an Outstanding Achievement in Art Award from the National Art Honors Society, as well as the Giraffe Project Award from Capital High School. Other than skiing, Kate enjoys racing shifter karts and plans to attend Montana State University.
Greg Wald
Project for Alternative learning, teacher.
Greg is a highly respected teacher at the Project For Alternative Learning. No matter the weather, Greg approaches the day with a smile and a great attitude. Earlier this year, he was appointed the Helena Education Foundation Outstanding Educator award. And it’s no wonder! He’s great with his students and is always willing to give them a second chance. He is very informative and never hesitates to answer a questions. Greg knows how to have fun in the classroom while keeping solid authority. He is a great teacher and definitely a face in the crowd.
Lattes and Sundaes
A coalition is only as good as it’s partners. We’d like to give a shout out to Lattes and Sundaes for helping out with our Parenting Series this year. After the closure of Central School and moving PAL to Front Street, Youth Connections lost the meeting space we used. The great folks at Lattes and Sundaes came to the rescue and offered their business as a meeting place for our workshops. They even offered to open early so parents who may have come directly from work would have an option to get something to eat. It’s partners like this that make Helena a great place to raise kids. So we’d like to say “thanks a latte”!
10
June 2014
|
YC MAGAZINE
|
youthconnectionscoalition.org
A B i b lic al Wor ldv iew ACHIEVING
H i g h Ac ademic S tan dar ds
ENROLLING NOW • TOURS AVAILABLE
+ Serving the Helena community for over 30 years + Pre-school through 12th grade + Fully accredited through ACSI and AdvancedEd + Bus service available + Offering after school care
40 developmental assets
D E V E LO P I N G
40 Developmental Assets are essential qualities of life that help young people thrive, do well in school, and avoid risky behavior. Youth Connections utilizes the 40 Developmental Assets Framework to guide the work we do in promoting positive youth development. The 40 Assets model was developed by the Minneapolis-based Search Institute based on extensive research. Just as we are coached to diversify our financial assets so that all our eggs are not in one basket, the strength that the 40 Assets model can build in our youth comes through diversity. In a nutshell, the more of the 40 Assets youth possess, the more likely they are to exhibit positive behaviors and attitudes (such as good health and school success) and the less likely they are to exhibit risky behaviors (such as drug use and promiscuity). It’s that simple: if we want to empower and protect our children, building the 40 Assets in our youth is a great way to start. Look over the list of Assets on the following page and think about what Assets may be lacking in our community and what Assets you can help build in our young people. Do what you can do with the knowledge that even through helping build one asset in one child, you are increasing the chances that child will grow up safe and successful. Through our combined efforts Helena will continue to be a place where Great Kids Make Great Communities.
Helena Christian School 3384 Canyon Ferry Rd / 442.3821 www.helenachristian.org
Turn the page to learn more! youthconnectionscoalition.org
|
YC MAGAZINE
|
June 2014
11
assets in action
40 DEVELOPMENTAL ASSETS
15 Support
High school students promoting Helena Expect Respect campaign.
1. Family support: Family life provides high levels of love and support. 2. Positive family communication: Young person and her or his parent(s) communicate positively, and young person is willing to seek advice and counsel from parent(s). 3. Other adult relationships: Young person receives support from three or more nonparent adults. 4. Caring neighborhood: Young person experiences caring neighbors. 5. Caring school climate: School provides a caring, encouraging environment. 6. Parent involvement in school: Parent(s) are actively involved in helping young person succeed in school.
Empowerment
3
High school students mentoring elementary students.
7. Community values youth: Young person perceives that adults in the community value youth. 8. Youth as resources: Young people are given useful roles in the community. 9. Service to others: Young person serves in the community one hour or more per week. 10. Safety: Young person feels safe at home, at school, and in the neighborhood.
Boundaries & Expectations Volunteers helping kids make bird houses.
9
Students playing a game of dodgeball.
11. Family boundaries: Family has clear rules and consequences and monitors the young person’s whereabouts. 12. School boundaries: School provides clear rules and consequences. 13. Neighborhood boundaries: Neighbors take responsibility for monitoring young people’s behavior. 14. Adult role models: Parent(s) and other adults model positive, responsible behavior. 15. Positive peer influence: Young person’s best friends model responsible behavior. 16. High expectations: Both parent(s) and teachers encourage the young person to do well.
Constructive Use of Time
18 12
June 2014
|
YC MAGAZINE
|
youthconnectionscoalition.org
17. Creative activities: Young person spends three or more hours per week in lessons or practice in music, theater, or other arts. 18. Youth programs: Young person spends three or more hours per week in sports, clubs, or organizations at school and/or in the community. 19. Religious community: Young person spends one or more hours per week in activities in a religious institution. 20. Time at home: Young person is out with friends “with nothing special to do” two or fewer nights per week.
If you or your child would like to submit a picture that represents one of the 40 Developmental Assets, please email cosmith@helena.k12.mt.us with a picture and the number of the asset the picture represents.
Not all pictures are guaranteed publication.
38 Commitment to Learning
21. Achievement motivation: Young person is motivated to do well in school. 22. School engagement: Young person is actively engaged in learning. 23. Homework: Young person reports doing at least one hour of homework every school day. 24. Bonding to school: Young person cares about her or his school. 25. Reading for pleasure: Young person reads for pleasure three or more hours per week.
Students elected “Supreme Court Justices” at Youth in Government.
Positive Values
26. Caring: Young person places high value on helping other people. 27. Equality and social justice: Young person places high value on promoting equality and reducing hunger and poverty. 28. Integrity: Young person acts on convictions and stands up for her or his beliefs. 29. Honesty: Young person “tells the truth even when it is not easy.” 30. Responsibility: Young person accepts and takes personal responsibility. 31. Restraint: Young person believes it is important not to be sexually active or to use alcohol or other drugs.
33
Working in the community garden.
Social Competencies
Camper helping another at Camp Child.
32. Planning and decision making: Young person knows how to plan ahead and make choices. 33. Interpersonal competence: Young person has empathy, sensitivity, and friendship skills. 34. Cultural competence: Young person has knowledge of and comfort with people of different cultural/racial/ethnic backgrounds. 35. Resistance skills: Young person can resist negative peer pressure and dangerous situations. 36. Peaceful conflict resolution: Young person seeks to resolve conflict nonviolently.
27
Positive Identity
37. Personal power: Young person feels he or she has control over “things that happen to me.” 38. Self-esteem: Young person reports having a high self-esteem. 39. Sense of purpose: Young person reports that “my life has a purpose.” 40. Positive view of personal future: Young person is optimistic about her or his personal future.
Students are read to at story time.
25 youthconnectionscoalition.org
|
YC MAGAZINE
|
June 2014
13
How do i make my child By Tracy Moseman, Safe Schools/Healthy Students Manager
Across the country, schools are embracing similar frameworks to guide student behavior that have created some amazing changes in school climate, discipline, and student behavior. These secrets don’t need to stay at school.
14
Follow the Rules? y adopting these successful methods for shaping behavior in the home, you can help change the atmosphere of your house and dynamics with your children. First, as a family, sit down together and create the rules of the house. Kids are more likely to follow the rules when they understand why the rule was created and have input into the process. Ask kids questions like, “As parents, how can we make sure you are safe?” Their responses can be used to set the family expectations. Locking the doors when they are home by themselves or wearing their helmet when riding bikes can become the rules. Going through this process creates the buy-in needed to ensure they understand the underlying importance of why the expectation was set. second, when creating the family rules, it is always better to state the expectations with wording about the behavior you want to see as opposed to the behavior you want to avoid. For example, saying “be respectful by putting your dirty clothes in the hamper” is more likely to
create the behavior you want to see as opposed to an expectation stated as “don’t leave dirty clothes on the floor.” third, keep the number of family rules manageable by only creating rules that are truly important for your family to follow. Sometimes when there are so many rules, even as adults we get glossy eyed and shut down. Kids are the same. Set the expectations that really matter and then keep those guidelines in the forefront of your daily routines. fourth, once your expectations have been set, they should be incorporated into your daily routines. One way is to have the expectations posted somewhere for everyone to see. Just as with speed limit signs, having a visual reminder of the rules for kids will help engrain the behavior into the children’s routine Fifth, as humans, we all want to understand clearly what is expected of us. When we start a new job, we want to know our employer’s expectations in terms of work hours and dress code. Children are the same. If we set a family expectation to put our dirty dishes in the dishwasher, it is important that
everyone knows exactly what is meant by that. Should they scrape their plate first? Rinse it before loading it? Do the cups go on the top or bottom shelf ? sixth, when your child misbehaves, ask yourself the same question schools ask: “Is this behavior problem because the child CANNOT do what we ask or is it that the child WILL NOT do what we are asking?” Is your child not loading the dishwasher correctly because he can’t do it or won’t do it correctly? How you respond to the situation is based on the answer to that question. seventh, when children follow your expectations, it is critical they receive consistent and frequent praise. Even as adults we all want to hear when we did something well at work. A little praise can go a long way in reinforcing what we hope to see again in the future. Some experts will say a good rule of thumb is the 4:1 ratio. Try to give four positive reinforcements for every time you make a correction. Our ultimate goal is for kids to become motivated on their own to do the right thing, but a sincere compliment, pat on the back, or high five is a good
way to get kids motivated to keep doing the right thing! lastly, acknowledge your child is not perfect and they will make mistakes. Our response should be based on the outcome we want to see. So, when your child missteps and forgets to wear his bike helmet, what will your response be? If your ultimate goal is to have your child follow the safety expectation set by the family, then your goal is simply to change the behavior. If you were a math teacher and your student made a mistake on his homework, would you punish the child with the hopes it would help him get the right answer the next time, or would you re-teach the skill the child missed on the homework? Look at mistakes as an opportunity to re-teach as opposed to an opportunity to punish; it’s more likely to change future behavior. Following some of these ideas can help families create a discussion about what is expected by all members of the family. It will give a common language to all family members, give opportunities to recognize the right thing, and provide opportunities for re-teaching when mistakes happen. ■
youthconnectionscoalition.org
|
YC MAGAZINE
|
June 2014
15
KEEP IT UP! Maintain This Year’s Goals for Next School Year By Ward Lake, 20-year 3rd grade teacher
hy is it important to keep your kids reading and continue learning over the summer? Teachers can tell you how important it is to maintain the achievements children gained over the school year by continuing learning and reading over the summer. In a recent study by Harris Cooper, a psychology professor at Duke University, he found children, on average, lost a month of grade level achievement score over the summer after giving standardized tests before and after summer break. To avoid “summer regression,” it’s important for parents to keep kids academically active. Most experts recommend reading at least 30 minutes a day for Kindergarten through 3rd grades, and 60 minutes for 4th to 12th grades. To make the time recommendations fun and effective, your child should be reading a “just right” book. To do this, have your child read a page from the book. If he/ she makes more than five mistakes on the page, the book is too difficult. On the other hand, no mistakes is below their reading level. All reading is good, but the “just right” book will be the challenge they need without causing frustration. Here are some tips to help you and your children achieve their reading goals:
» Read aloud with your children every
day; set a consistent time for reading to create a routine.
» Read the same book your child is reading and discuss it.
» For struggling readers, read the same book multiple times.
» Go to the library regularly; research
book clubs or summer reading programs.
» Subscribe to popular children’s
magazines in the child’s name (Sports Illustrated for Kids, Highlights
16
June 2014
|
YC MAGAZINE
|
for Children, National Geographic World, etc.).
» Have children read billboards and signs. » Talk with your child’s teacher and find out what your child should be reading; ask next year’s teacher for topic ideas.
» Find out what your child likes to read – let their interests lead the choice.
» Set a good example – let them see and hear you read.
» If your child likes a movie, have him/her read the book.
» Find a series or author that they like. » Have children keep a list of words
they don’t know in a journal or on a bookmark to build vocabulary.
» Create a bingo chart with different
genres (mysteries, poetry, adventure, science fiction/fantasy, non-fiction, etc.); offer appropriate rewards.
It’s more important to focus on the amount of time spent reading than on the number of pages read. Keep in mind reading speeds are different - pleasure might be fast and nonfiction may be slower. With the Common Core requirements adopted by many states, there is a push for increased non-fiction reading. These types of books are becoming readily available and more enjoyable for children. For example, biographies on sports’ heroes and important people from history, science topics, machinery, etc. To make sure your children understand what they are reading, ask questions and have them tell you about the book. If they are struggling with comprehension, try reading with them. You can also read to them and have them tell you about the story. Many children’s books are available to download and read on
youthconnectionscoalition.org
iPads or computers. This gives children the opportunity to follow along as they’re being read to. Check out www.kidthing.com/nea for free downloads of the National Education Association’s featured books to share throughout the summer. An inexpensive and fun way to increase your library at home is to look at garage sales and research book exchanges. Kids love having their own books. Students will also benefit by keeping up on their writing skills over the summer. They can:
» Become a pen pal, either by actually writing or emailing, with friends, cousins, grandparents, other family members.
» Keep a summer scrapbook of
pictures, postcards, ticket stubs, etc. and have them write about the experience with captions.
» Start a summer journal. Write every
day about things that have happened.
» Write a never-ending story. Start a
story and write every day. Others can add to the story to give it a twist. It helps keep the child engaged.
There are many math websites that allow students of all ages to practice their basic math skills. Check out www.math. com or www.mathplayground.com. If students are having specific problems, they can get help at www.kahnacademy.org. It re-teaches the concept that the student is struggling with and is available for all levels of instruction and learning. This could be especially effective during the school year for help with homework. Everybody needs a break and time to relax, but in order to pick up where they left off instead of struggling to catch up next fall, summer learning is a must. ■ hy is it
fact
Children, on average, lose a month of grade level » Read aloud with your children every day; set a consistent time for reading to create a routine. achievement » Read the same book your child is reading and discuss it. score » For struggling readers, readover the same book multiple times. » Go to the library research book clubs or summer reading programs. theregularly; summer.
important to keep your kids reading and continue learning over the summer? Teachers can tell you how important it is to maintain the achievements children continuing learning and reading over the summer. In a recent study by Harris Cooper, a psychology professor at Duke University, he found children, on average achievement score over the summer after giving standardized tests before and after summer break. To avoid “summer regression,” it’s important for parents to keep kids academically active. Most experts recommend reading at least 30 minutes a day for Ki and 60 minutes for 4th to 12th grades. To make the time recommendations fun and effective, your child should be reading a “just right” book. To do this, have yo book. If he/she makes more than five mistakes on the page, the book is too difficult. On the other hand, no mistakes is below their reading level. All reading is go be the challenge they need without causing frustration. Here are some tips to help you and your children achieve their reading goals:
» Subscribe to popular children’s magazines in the child’s name (Sports Illustrated for Kids, Highlights for Children, National Geographic World » Have children read billboards and signs. » Talk with your child’s teacher and find out what your child should be reading; ask next year’s teacher for topic ideas. » Find out what your child likes to read – let their interests lead the choice. » Set a good example – let them see and hear you read. » If your child likes a movie, have him/her read the book. » Find a series or author that they like. » Have children keep a list of words they don’t know in a journal or on a bookmark to build vocabulary.
» Create a bingo chart with different genres (mysteries, poetry, adventure, science fiction/fantasy, non-fiction, etc.); offer appropriate reward
It’s more important to focus on the amount of time spent reading than on the number of pages read. Keep in mind reading speeds are different - pleasure mig be slower. With the Common Core requirements adopted by many states, there is a push for increased non-fiction reading. These types of books are becoming enjoyable for children. For example, biographies on sports’ heroes and important people from history, science topics, machinery, etc. To make sure your children understand what they are reading, ask questions and have them tell you about the book. If they are struggling with comprehension, t also read to them and have them tell you about the story. Many children’s books are available to download and read on iPads or computers. This gives children the o they’re being read to. Check out www.kidthing.com/nea for free downloads of the National Education Association’s featured books to share throughout the sum An inexpensive and fun way to increase your library at home is to look at garage sales and research book exchanges. Kids love having their own books. Students will also benefit by keeping up on their writing skills over the summer. They can:
» Become a pen pal, either by actually writing or emailing, with friends, cousins, grandparents, other family members. » Keep a summer scrapbook of pictures, postcards, ticket stubs, etc. and have them write about the experience with captions. » Start a summer journal. Write every day about things that have happened. » Write a never-ending story. Start a story and write every day. Others can add to the story to give it a twist. It helps keep the child engaged.
There are many math websites that allow students of all ages to practice their basic math skills. Check out www.math.com or www.mathplayground.co problems, they can get help at www.kahnacademy.org. It re-teaches the concept that the student is struggling with and is available for all levels of instructio especially effective during the school year for help with homework. Everybody needs a break and time to relax, but in order to pick up where they left off instead of struggling to catch up next fall, summer learning is a must. ■
youthconnectionscoalition.org
|
YC MAGAZINE
|
June 2014
17
BY THE
NUMBERS
Q. As a teenager, what would I like
my parents to know? (Our staff asked
2 million
this question to a high school student doing an internship with us. This is what she shared.)
The number of flowers bees have to visit to make one pound of honey.
A.
Everyone has a unique relationship with their parents. Some approach situations very openly, while others prefer to stay behind closed doors. To put it in perspective, my relationship with my parents appears to have the door wide open but I stand in the doorway. They can check it out a little bit, but I refuse to let them in. This is a comfortable medium for me. Aside from school and basic interests, I want my parents to know my true motives. For anyone with a similar relationship with their family, adult figures seem to think you’re up to something. I can understand I guess; it’s hard to trust someone when they won’t trust you completely, but I’m tired of being falsely accused. Even when confronted about it, I give them the truth but I feel as if they don’t believe me. I am not perfect, and tell the occasional lie. In my defense, it can be hard to be truthful when your parents belittle your actions. We all know that disdained expression, the same one your peers give you when they’re judging all they see about you in that moment. The slightly pursed lip, raised eyebrows, a sprinkle of aggravation in their eyes... I believe my parents should know the positive influences and behaviors my friends put on me. It’s hard for your parents to trust you when they do not trust your friends. I also believe it is really important for parents to listen to what their teen or child has to say. I’m sure I’m not the only one whose parents act as if I have no idea what I’m talking about. Because I have not experienced what they have, they believe the things I say, especially in an argument, are not valuable. To all you parents out there, keep an open mind. We may or may not know what we are talking about; hearing the words come from our own mouth helps us. I’m sure every adult does the same thing. Just because we’re younger than you or less experienced in some fields does not mean we cannot form our own opinion. Let us speak. Just having someone we truly trust listen to what we have to say means so much. Give constructive criticism rather than damaging feedback. Most of the time it is better to sit down and chat about it rather than yell.
Have a question?
ycmagazine@youthconnectionscoalition.org We cannot guarantee all questions will be published; however, we will do our best to respond to all questions submitted.
18
June 2014
|
YC MAGAZINE
|
youthconnectionscoalition.org
www.interestingfacts.net
150,000
The number of muscles in an elephant’s trunk. www.mentalfloss.com/amazing-facts#f840
118
The number of ridges around the edge of a dime. www.tealdragon.net/humor/facts/facts.htm
4
The number of noses a slug has. http://www.tealdragon.net/humor/facts/facts.htm
1 /10
The number of calories you consume every time you lick a postage stamp. www.uselessfacts.net/all-facts/
3
The number of years a snail can sleep without eating. www.uselessfacts.net/all-facts/
Bikes for the whole family 801 N Last Chance Gulch, Helena 442-4644
www.bigskybikes.com
STORE HOURS: Mon-Fri 10-6 and Sat 10-5
Explore More! www.helenaphotography.com 406.443.1966 426 N Last Chance Gulch St
tXt UR hPD TXT UR HPD allows you to report illegal or unsafe activity discreetly and immediately to your School Resource Officer directly
»
Cory Bailey P.A.L./HMS: (406) 439-9640
shawn lashway CR Anderson: (406) 949-3681
loren Mardis Capital: (406) 949-3683
Bryan FisCher Helena High: (406) 949-3680
»
When to tXt UR hPD When you feel unsafe, in school or outside of school
«
When you think someone else is unsafe, in school or outside of school
»
With confidentiality if you think a crime may take place
youthconnectionscoalition.org
|
YC MAGAZINE
«
|
«
June 2014
19
the
benefits of
board games 20
June 2014
|
YC MAGAZINE
|
youthconnectionscoalition.org
Board games may seem like just fun and games, but it’s a great way to spend time with your child while building skills. onopoly teaches money management skills. In the game of Life they can see how important a college education is for their future. Battleship teaches them to think strategically. All games can teach social skills, such as communicating verbally, taking turns, sharing and waiting. But games don’t always need to be educational. Playing a game is a great way to spend unhurried, enjoyable time together. Smaller children love to play games with parents, but it’s also a good way to spend important time with teens too – even if it appears they don’t want to at first. A recent study at Penn State University shows teens who still spend time with their parents benefit by gaining better self-esteem and social skills. If your teen is really into video games, sit down and join in. It’s a great way to help him/her open up, and you may find some neat things about their lives. Research has demonstrated that teaching methods that a child thinks are fun are more often effective than techniques without a fun factor. David Pierfy, a professor at Rider University, found that playing games of skill resulted in better retention over time than traditional classroom instruction methods. Playing games teaches skills such as counting and colors when
Monopoly, Chess, Scrabble, Checkers, and Risk are the top five most popular games in the world.
children are younger, to strategizing and cause/effect for older kids. Of course game players of all ages learn not to give up. Most of us think of board games as a winter activity, but it can be fun to pull out a game to play on the patio on a warm summer night. Many of us take cards or games when we go camping. Any game done by flashlight is more fun and a great way to pass the time. Games encourage conversation to learn about each other,
whereas watching TV only has us learning about the characters on the show. To find out what games kids like, we did an unscientific poll of a second grade class. Their top three favorite games were Sorry, Mouse Trap and Monopoly. When we asked around at a middle school, their choices were Monopoly and Checkers. High school students said they enjoyed Monopoly and Clue the most. There are so many new games out there, it’s interesting that
a tried and true one (from the early 1900s), Monopoly, was still the top choice of kids of all ages. According to the website ask.com, Monopoly is the most popular game in the world. Others that made the top five are: Chess, Scrabble, Checkers and Risk. No matter what game you play with your children, be assured you’re helping them to learn important skills as well as build self-esteem. But the most beneficial part about playing games is the time spent together. ■
youthconnectionscoalition.org
|
YC MAGAZINE
|
June 2014
21
i give up
i’m fine
there’s i don’t no way care out
i don’t want to talk about it
nobody understands me
nobody likes me
it’s It’s not a big deal not worth it
It’s not
it’s important a family i’m thing i’m just tired confused You don’t have to have all the answers. just know who to ask. ThinkBeyondTheBehavior.org sponsored bY:
22
June 2014
|
YC MAGAZINE
|
youthconnectionscoalition.org
summer break:
teens at risk By Kim York, Project Success Counselor
ummer is here! Our kids have been dreaming about summer break from school, experiencing warm weather and free time. We know that although this is the dream of most teenagers, it can be a worrisome time for parents. Because there is a lot of unstructured and unmonitored time over the summer months, parents have the right to be concerned. During the summer, the rate of accidents involving teens is higher. Alcohol drinking and substance abuse rises by over 70 percent, not to mention a higher number of car accidents. How can parents keep their children safe during the summer and yet allow their teenagers some freedoms? The answer involves parents knowing they have the right to manage the unsupervised time of their children. Using the rules of the four Ws is one successful strategy. Who are you going to be with? Where are you going? What are you going to be doing? When are you going to be home? Along with the four Ws comes the parental responsibility of following through on enforcing them. It is not unreasonable to show up at the “Where,” call the parent of the “Who,” follow up on the “What,” and set the limit of “When” to be home. Additionally, parents need to be aware of other risks out there to which their teen may be exposed. Unsupervised bon fires, lake parties,
Alcohol drinking and substance abuse rises by over 70% during the summer months. overnight stays, and other get-togethers where alcohol, marijuana and other drugs are present are not uncommon in the summer. “Rave” events advertised through social media are held frequently throughout the summer. These events have music and a party atmosphere where access to illegal substances is prevalent. There are numerous concerts and summer events where unsupervised youth have the opportunity to access drugs as well. Expecting your teenager to contribute to the household chores, find a job, volunteer, or participate in summer camps/activities are also part of the mix. We know that a teenager who is busy has less of a chance to socialize in an unhealthy way. Parents who are pro-active in their teenager’s activities during the summer months, have better outcomes when it comes to keeping their adolescent safe. Discussing the 4 Ws, providing accountability, and keeping teens busy are strategies that are proven effective. ■
youthconnectionscoalition.org
|
YC MAGAZINE
|
June 2014
23
2014
New exhibit this summer!
Weekly fun filled camps June 16th to August 22nd!
For boys and girls, indoor and outdoor play, ages 4-12, $3.99 and up
Join us often, become a member!
Downtown on the Walking Mall
25 S Last Chance Gulch 442-1594
995 Carousel Way, Helena, MT 406.457.1800 x1 explorationworks.org
get connected. get answers. WHAT IS 2-1-1?
It is an easy-to-remember telephone number that connects people with important community services and volunteer opportunities.
WHAT DO I DO?
Dial 2-1-1 or visit www.montana211.org
24
June 2014
|
YC MAGAZINE
|
youthconnectionscoalition.org
S n g i S g warnin at e b y a m o h w e of someon
e D I C I U S f O rISK
> > > > > > >
abrupt cha
nality nge in perso
y prized Giving awa s possession ide attempts Previous suic se or alcohol u g u r d in e s Increa er rbance, eith eating distu or loss weight gain her too rbance, eit tu is d p e le S o little much or to on rate frustrati le to to y it il Inab
> > > > > > > > > >
Withd rawal and re bellio Isolati usnes ng and s choosi time a ng to s lone pend Declin e in pe rsonal Flat af hygien fect or e depre ssed m Unusu ood al (varie ly long grie s with f differe reaction nt you Overa ll s th) hopele ense of sad ness a ssness nd Increa se in h ostilit y Decre ase in ac perfor mance ademic Diffic ulty co ncentr ating Recen t famil y disrup or rela tion tional
what you can do tO save a lIFe
> If you see the signs, ask the person, “are you suicidal?” > Offer hope, don’t leave them alone, and tell others the person to the nearest eR, call the police, take them to > take a health care professional or > Call the Montana Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
www.prc.mt.gov/suicideprevention
Helena School District #1 Youth Connections 55 S Rodney Helena, MT 59601
Non-Profit Org U.S. Postage PAID Helena, MT 59601 Permit No. 94
OPEN: Tues., Weds., & Thurs., 11am - 1pm