Impossible Journal

Page 12

The

Suddenly, again, the join has taken place, she can sense it.

cluttered drainingboard and turning around to

She can never really pick up on the actual

to fix it later, and maybe she could try phoning

moment when things switch, but now, right here,

him rather than going all the way down those

washing this last mug in the greying soapy water

damned stairs.) No, none of that stuff, just… (I

(one of her nicest, a swirling bluebell-patterned

don’t know) something, a frequency, or maybe

one that Helen gave her for christmas last year)

the refreshing change of having been thinking

the tide has yet again Turned for the Worse,

about something for too long and now thinking

not that anything looks or smells or sounds

of something else. Although tonight (like it or

different; the radio’s still on - You and Yours

not) it feels like it might be worse than normal,

loud and steady - her feet are still ever so cold

like the fact that Carl isn’t coming is common

and swollen and she’s still (definitely) the only

knowledge, and she feels a little spike below

one here in the flat tonight (Helen’s off today

her stomach as she shuffles over to the table,

so Carl went straight home; she watched him

still gleaming a bit where she’s wiped it.

seek out the teatowel, glancing (without making too much drama out of it) at the slightly open kitchen door, always blowing open these days, the silly thing (perhaps she could ask Mr Hunter

secretly from the window bumbling back from

She eases herself carefully into a chair,

school with some of his mates – he didn’t like it

and then picks the burner she’s left (on purpose)

when she gawked out the window at him, said it

out of the ashtray and brings it shakily upto

was embarrassing) although I guess her being

her lips. She pushes her glasses up her nose a

alone wasn’t particularly…

She runs the mug

little, keeping an eye on the kitchen door, which

under the cold tap wiping it around the rim with

(she notes) hasn’t opened up any wider, and

her fingers before putting it upsidedown on the

slides her hand into the pocket of her pinnie.

B


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