If Your Kid Gets Bullied

When you send your kids off to school, you hope that they are safe and happy. But when your child becomes a victim of bullying it can be hard to know how to help them.

According to stopbullying.gov, between one in four students in the U.S. say they have been bullied. It’s most common in middle school and most often takes the form of social or verbal bullying. Due to recent programs and education, studies have shown the number of kids being bullied is declining — at least in person. It is still a problem on social media and all forms should be taken seriously. It’s important to educate yourself on what to do in case your child gets targeted. Here are helpful tips:

JUST SAY, “STOP”

The first thing your child can do when faced with a bully is to say, “Stop.” It is healthy for all kids to understand boundaries. If someone is speaking to them, touching them, or treating them in a way that makes them feel uncomfortable, they have the right to say “No!” or “Stop!” If it continues, they can walk away from the situation.

“The key is that a comeback shouldn’t be a put-down because that aggravates a bully,” says Michele Borba, Ed.D., author of The Big Book of Parenting Solutions

Learning to verbalize feelings and take charge of the situation will benefit your child into adulthood. They should never have to feel stuck. Likewise, kids should understand that if someone asks them to stop, they need to respect others enough to change their behavior immediately.

WALK

Away

If your child has asked their bully to stop and the behavior continues, let them know the best choice is to walk away. Ask your child if they have a person they feel safe telling about the bullying behavior at school. Let them know that if they have asked the bully to stop and they did not, they should then walk away and go tell someone they feel safe talking to about the situation. Borba and other bullying experts say it is never a good idea to start a physical fight with anyone. If your child is not comfortable talking to an adult at school or they have reported bullying but don’t feel heard, contact your school directly to come up with a plan to stop any future bullying. By first allowing your child to address the situation, you teach them empowerment.

Use The Buddy System

Often kids who are targeted by bullies are perceived as different by their peers. Bullying often happens with a group of kids targeting a child who is alone. Encourage your child to play with other kids with similar interests. A group of kids are less likely to be targeted.

Laugh It Off

It is no surprise that bullies find enjoyment out of picking on others because they get a reaction. Sometimes laughing it off or making it into a joke can stop the bully in his tracks. This isn’t always easy to do if your child is not a natural at making jokes or if they are already upset, but in some situations, it can turn things around quickly.

Find An Outlet

Kids who feel like they have been bullied at school may begin to feel angry, depressed, or blame themselves. It is important to let your child know that it is not their fault, Borba says. Help your child find something they can use as an outlet when they have these feelings: running, drawing, journaling, sports, hanging out with friends, etc. If your child has something they enjoy and are good at, it helps them feel important and boosts their overall happiness.

Helpful Tips

• Role play “what if” scenarios

• Check-in with your child daily

• Helping your child deal with a bully will help him with confidence and prevent a difficult situation from escalating

• Partner with your child’s school to come up with solutions

Sarah Lyons is a mom of six and a freelance writer.

by Sarah Lyons