II Thousands Speak (continued) Mothers
Mothers and their children are of course what this issue is all about. There were hundreds upon thousands of letters from women who had had abortions or thought about having abortions or who had been pressurised into having abortions. These letters are about women who will never regret a decision to stand against all the odds or will always regret a decision that they or others were allowed to make for them. Many letters also arrived from women who had had abortions and felt that it was a decision they had to make, and would do so again; but some feel regret as well. It would seem from the letters that it is nearly always a regretted decision of desperation. The first selection contains letters from women who had abortions in the 'bad old days' of the back street. The first letter is from Mrs C who asked that her letter be published if possible. It is in penance and in deep contrition and praying that this true story will save the lives of unborn innocent little ones that I do write. I already had five small children under the age of seven years when I knew I was expecting another child. I was devastated for I had no one to turn to, no money, not even a decent place to live. Bare stone floors, no form of heat, just a zinc bath to clean the children's body. My husband drank quite a lot and often there were violent scenes, which upset all our lives. I had nowhere to lay this new life, nothing, not even peace to greet the baby. So, I took a dose of quinine, which nearly killed us both, I was admitted to hospital, the stomach was pumped and through the first night it was touch and go. Once during the night I was given up for dead, but revived. When I was recovering slowly, the doctor and sister came to my bed and asked me, 'Why did you try to take your life?' I then explained that I thought I was pregnant and I couldn't face another child; I hadn't taken the awful stuff to kill myself, only to free me of the baby. They were kind and understanding but I needed more than words. I shame to say I had hardly left hospital when I again began to think of abortion. But, by some strange chance, the baby lived on. I never did look forward to the birth and I carried the little one in deep resentment, so the months passed too soon.