Whose Choice Anyway

Mum.' They are all God's children and what a poorer place our world would be without these children. My other children are now caring and compassionate adults and we all feel that our Anthony enriched our lives beyond description.

The last letter of this section is from a parent of an anencephalic child. Cases such as this are, when strictly speaking, considered 'terminations' and not abortions.

These situations would not have been affected by the Bill. But her letter was powerful and so it is included in this section.

I opted for a home birth, and although I went to hospital for antenatal checks, had refused an early scan; this was partly because I wasn't 100% sure of the long term safety and partly because neither my husband nor myself wanted to be faced with the decision of whether to abort if something were wrong. I agreed to a scan late in pregnancy only to appease my obstetrician who was so unhappy about my having a home birth. The scan showed nothing wrong. The head was not visible but we assumed that was because it was well engaged. It was after a straightforward labour that our child was born, and a great shock when we were told by the midwives that he would only live for an hour or two. We did all that we could to show him that he was loved and were rewarded by the fact that he was bright, alert and responded to us. At that time my mother in law lived with us and she looked after him when we were too exhausted. My mother and brother were able to travel to see him before he died and they valued this a great deal.

Our child lived for 68 hours. This was longer than we expected and we felt very grateful for having been able to spend so much time with him. His death was very distressing as we were helpless and there was nothing to do but stay with him and show him we cared. We all have memories which we cherish. We have photos and had a funeral so we can visit his grave. If he had been aborted we could have had none of this. I would have grieved but I would never have known the baby in the same way that I am grieving for.

Afterwards people said it was a pity I had not had the scans as it 'would never have happened'. They meant I could have aborted him. I've tried to explain that I am glad he was born and that we enjoyed the brief time we had together but I don't think they understood. Abortion seems to be viewed as a cure. I am expecting another baby and like last time I am refusing tests and opting for home birth. They are so keen on detecting problems that they then put on so much pressure to have the abortion that I just don't want to fight them.

The last two letters are from disabled people themselves who are obviously watching this debate with care and understanding that the country has been focusing attention on them and on their 'worth' and 'contribution' to society.