THE SEX SURVEY IS BACK! A NOTE FROM THE EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
A CHEEKY PEEK AT THIS ISSUE...
PAGE 2 EDITORIAL AND CONTENTS SAM HEWITSON (HE/HIM) PAGE 3 WHO ANSWERED THE SURVEY? It’s time. We made it. Concrete’s PAGE 4 VIRGINITY Sex Survey of 2021. Strap in (unintentional bondage joke alert). PAGE 5 CELEBRATING CELIBACY It only seems like yesterday since the last survey, and I fondly remember the days PAGE 6 OH UEA IS WONDERFUL of sitting in Ziggy’s between lectures in constant bewilderment from UEA’s weird and PAGE 7 DISCUSSION OF SEXUAL ASSAULT IN GROUP CHATS wonderful habits and horny antics. Unfortunately, conversing over coffee is no PAGE 8 RELATIONSHIPS longer a thing, so a digital magazine will have to suffice. Maybe read it together on a PAGE 9 A LOOK AT HOW QUEER RELATIONSHIPS ARE VIEWED Zoom call? Better than nothing, I suppose. Lockdown was never going to stop us PAGE 10 DATING APPS creating our infamous Sex Survey, and if PAGE 11 DATING APPS AS A TRANS WOMAN anything, it inspired us to make it better than ever. Although some of the content PAGE 12 THE IMPORTANCE OF ADVICE TO ‘LOVE YOURSELF’ mirrors that of previous years, I took the initiative to explore some brand-new top- PAGE 13 SINGLEHOOD IS SEXY: HERE’S WHY ics which will hopefully open your eyes to what your fellow students get up to. PAGE 14 MONEY AND SEX Our inaugural ‘Covid-19 and Sex’ section will hopefully only be a one-hit won- PAGE 15 PORNOGRAPHY der, not returning for a sequel in 2022, and a deeper dive into the concept of virginity PAGES KINKS AND FETISHES was something I was keen to explore. We 16+17 also wanted to know about your public sex shenanigans, and we were certainly not PAGE 18 WHAT MAKES SEX GOOD? disappointed. Of course, we have the usual suspects: UEA’s Top Five STIs is making a PAGE 19 WHAT MAKES SEX BAD? triumphant return, and your kinks and fetishes are as weird and wonderful as ever. PAGE 20 SEXUAL HEALTH The feature of this year’s survey and the improvement that I am most proud of, how- PAGE 21 SEXUAL AND BODY CONFIDENCE ever, is the diversity in the writing. I was incredibly keen to collect under-represented PAGE 22 SEX IN PUBLIC perspectives this year, and I am super thankful that some of my closest friends were PAGE 23 CHEATING AND LIES keen to share their experiences with me. Alex Viney’s experiences of using dat- PAGE 24 COVID-19 AND SEX ing apps as a transgender woman and PAGE 25 LOCKDOWN AND A NEW RELATIONSHIP Rubaiyath Reza’s exploration of celibacy through her religious beliefs are particuPAGE 26 HELPFUL RESOURCES FOR ISSUES DISCUSSED INSIDE lar favourites of mine, and I am forever thankful they shared their stories with us. Writing about sex and relationships cannot and should not be limited to white, cisgender, straight people, so let’s not forget that. I sincerely hope you enjoy reading this, and learn a thing or two about our student body and the different perspectives we have managed to compile for you. I’m incredibly proud of this, and I am boldly going to claim that this is the best Sex Survey yet. Stay safe, use protection, make good choices, and keep reading. You don’t want to miss this.
CREDITS
FRONT/BACK PAGE: CONCRETE/ ALEX VINEY GRAPHICS/ARTWORK (UNLESS STATED OTHERWISE): CONCRETE/ ALEX VINEY PAGE LAY OUTS: SAM HEWITSON, MATT BRANSTON SURVEY DESIGN: ALEX VINEY, ALLY FOWLER, FREYJA ELWOOD, JIM GELL, OLIVIA JOHNSON, SAM HEWITSON COPY EDITING: SAM HEWITSON
who answered the survey? Gender identity? 34% MALE
3% NON-BINARY 1% OTHER GENDERS 3% pansexual
SEXUAL ORIENTATION?
2% asexual
23% bisexual
62% FEMALE
64% heterosexual
3% queer
4% do not identify with the gender assigned at their birth
5% homosexual
86% HAVE HAD SEX, BOTH PENETRATIVE AND NON-PENETRATIVE
age you first had sex? 18% 17-18 45% 17-18
3% 21-22 1% 22+
27% 15-16
1% Under 13 3% 13-14
how many sexual partners? 1%
1% 31-40 4% 16-20 9% 11-15 19% 6-10
41+
25% 0-1
37% 2-5
starting at the beginning: lets’s talk about virginity
27%
admitted to feeling pressured to lose their virginity
“MY PARTNER AT THE TIME WANTED ME TO”
26%
HAVE LIED ABOUT IF/WHEN THEY LOST their virginity
“SOCIAL PRESSURES TO NOT APPEAR ‘FRIGID’”
“DIDN’T WANT TO BE THE LAST”
“PEER PRESSURE” “IN SCHOOL, IT WAS LIKE A COMPETITION”
CELEBRATING CELIBACY THOUGHTS ON LOVE, SEX AND RELIGION CONTENT WARNING: DISCUSSIONS OF SEXUAL ASSAULT AND INDECENT EXPOSURE
I’ve been a fiend for a very long time. In my Year 11 English Language class I wrote something, I think it was about perfumes but I titled it ‘Sex Sells’. From a young age, sex in all its entirety has been an integral part of my life. Maybe it’s because I was molested at the a g e of nine or maybe because at the age of five I saw my first penis. My neighbour couldn’t keep it in his pants. I think they call it indecent exposure. Maybe it was because friends exposed me to
ARTWORK: SAM HEWITSON
porn at a young age or maybe - just maybe, it’s because I grew up around people who hated their relationships and due to the way they had interpreted their religious and cultural beliefs, completely stigmatising the concept of sex, asserting the archaic patriarchal beliefs that women cannot talk about sexual experiences; good or otherwise. Growing up, watching Bollywood films was the only way to learn anything about love and romance. However, when it came to menstruation, sex and consent there was nothing available. Schools would teach about periods but even that was done by separating boys and girls; further stigmatising the concept of menstruation and a wxmxn’s anatomy. Curiosity doesn’t kill the cat; instead, it forces the cat to find alternative ways to feed itself. The alternative for me was this obsessive need to Youtube and Google sex, period but finding pornographic material instead. This fascination left me with an unhealthy relationship with pornography; creating false realities of what sex and intimacy mean which followed me throughout my teens and early 20s. I tried to do everything possible to make sure that my ‘virginity’ remained intact, despite the fact my hymen had already been broken. My religious guilt kept me from acting on these desires but that ended as soon as I got to university. Pooja wanted what she wanted and I was not going to scold her for her sexual behaviour. The whole idea of the forbidden fruit, being little miss golden girl and hell came rushing back after every sexual interaction but the guilt felt better than dealing
with the sexual trauma I was victim to. It was impacting my mental wellbeing. In hindsight, the anonymity that came with being at university was my only tether to remaining sexually active.
“CURIOSITY DOESN’T KILL THE CAT; INSTEAD, IT FORCES THE CAT TO FIND ALTERNATIVE WAYS TO FEED ITSELF” Post-”graduation”: I found love in a hopeless place. Hopeless turned into hopeful and I found God again. Whilst being in love with the concept of God and choosing ‘Deen’ over Sin is the happiest I’ve been in a while. However, it seems my sexual desires decided they were more excited than happy. Faithful people or rather people of faith are also horny. What I have come to learn is that “Muslim” is not synonymous for sexual suppression, repression or even oppression. The patience and self-restraint to keep sexual desires from overwhelming oneself and their goals is one that I have come to admire despite how difficult it is proving to be.I have great respect for wxmxn who’ve taken the vow of celibacy (at least till marriage). It goes without saying that people can be religiously inclined, pious even and still touch themselves, own sex toys, have desires and fantasies - often very kinky ones. Some even sext. After they’ve done all of this - they may feel instant religious guilt which for some proves as regret but for me, it is a natural part of being a strong, independent and religious woman. My spirituality and piety is mine and to judge someone for having natural desires, well that’s just judgemental. I am aware of the spectrum so I will add that to judge someone for their asexuality is also problematic. Just let people be!
RUBAIYATH she/her
OH UEA IS WONDERFUL! uea’s favourite sex position is...
DOGGY 38%
MISSIONARY 21% COWGIRL/BOY 20% EAGLE 9%
and what about uea’s top 5 stis? CHLAMYDIA
YEAST INFECTIONS HERPES
HUMAN PAPILLOMAVIRUS GONORRHEA
the most common l achieved by students is... the lcr! and the least common l achieved is ... the laundrette!
79% of uea students have not completed an l... yet... PHOTO: ROO PITT
SEXUAL ASSAULT IS NEVER A JOKE, EVEN IN YOUR GROUP CHATS CONTENT WARNING: DISCUSSIONS OF SEXUAL ASSAULT AND RELATED NEWS STORIES
Whilst this issue of Concrete is certainly a fun one to create, write and read it is equally important we discuss the negatives around the “sex” and, importantly, our vocal relationship with “sex” or how “sex” is discussed in our society, and particularly in the University Society. Warwick, Derby, Durham, Coventry
for people who know their sense of humour and understand the context as it was said in PRIVATE…The best way to approach these issues is to look at the context” This was hard for me to compute for a second and then I got angry, really angry, and then sad, really sad.
to assume “the vast majority of people our age” have joked about “horrendous stuff” (which we can only assume refers to the contents of the group chats in question) is nonsensical – no one who identifies as a woman jokes about partaking in sexual assault. But now we start to get deeper into the
and Sheffield universities have all seen incidents of “leaked” group chats which discuss “sex” but more particularly women, women’s bodies and women’s autonomy. Whilst the quotations could come thick and fast from all these incidents, from wearing high-vis on a bar crawl scrawled on with “I love r*pe” to “let the boys hide in secret locations to watch”, a common denominator in all these chats are jokes about sexual assault. Perhaps, most explicitly stated by those involved in the widely reported Warwick group chat. These incidents, unfortunately and regrettably, went over my head at the time of their media circulation, until I was alerted that a UEA meme page had posted a story questioning “If something is not intended for the public to see, should it be able to be used against them?” and then going on to explain, “I think the vast majority of people our age would be lying if they claim they have never been part of a group chat where utterly horrendous stuff has been said… But obviously that horrendous stuff is meant
No group chat, message, photo, video or voice note is private or secure - fact. Sending an electronic communication of any sorts that discloses “matter that is grossly offensive or of an indecent, obscene or menacing character” can be brought forward in a UK court, and you can be ultimately charged on its contents (see the UK Communications Act 2003, Section 127 1A). But in a recent (2018) revision of the CPS Guidelines on prosecution, there have been so notable introductions. Firstly, Section 54 “Social Media Hate Crime Offences” and Section 47-48 “Social Media VAWG Offences” – or to you and me “Violence Against Women and Girls.” Is this an unintended warning to some? I’d hope not but Maybe. The points and arguments stated by the admin of the meme page illustrated the issue at hand, beginning with the “horrendous stuff”, to talking about “Sense of humour” and ending with the consideration of “context.” Yes, distasteful and non-PC jokes will undoubtedly be made within group chats but
issue, as raised by the admin – why are these jokes in people’s “sense of humour”? How has the “context” of such jokes made it into “humour”? In which “context” does it evolve that this is “acceptable”? What “context” do the jokes occur from? What is the “best way to approach” the issue of these jokes?All questions that need answering, and need answering desperately. This article can only be 600 words long so I cannot even try to provide the answers in writing but what I can try to do is question this – what community and atmosphere do we want to have at UEA? But also – will UEA be next? Is it unfortunately only a matter of time?
FREYJA ELWOOD she/her
it must be love... uea’s most common relationship length is... 2 YEARS 22% 1 YEAR 21% LESS THAN 6 MONTHS 20% LESS THAN 1 YEAR 13%
8 % of stude
PREFER A nts STAND TOONE-NIGHT RELATIONSEX IN A SHIP
the most common number of total relationships is... 1
% 9 7
e v a h s t n e d u t of s ove you’ to a said ‘i lpartner
ARTWORK: SAM HEWITSON
WE’RE HERE, WE’RE QUEER, THE DOUBLE STANDARDS ARE CLEAR
PHOTO: UNSPLASH There exists a double standard in the treatment of heterosexual relationships and LGBTQ+ relationships. There’s a certain over-sexualisation and obsession with sex from outsiders when it comes to queer relationships that just are not as present with hetero-cis relationships. Talking about sex is good, and incredibly useful to members of the community who might have only grown up with heterosexual and cisgender sex education and representation. However, when this talk of sex starts to excessively worm its way into other aspects of conversation and viewership where hetero-cis relationships don’t get a second look, it might be worth questioning why that is. 2,000 years ago, the Holy Bible did a whoopsie and condemned sodomy, and now we can’t teach children about same-sex relationships without some Karen protesting about the innocence of the growing generation. The association of queer relationships used to be solely defined by who was putting what in whom, as crude as that is, and that definition, for some people, has lingered. Likewise, contemporary gay marriage wasn’t legalised anywhere in the world until 2001. Whether or not you think marriage is an archaic way to define a relationship, for many, the union legitimises a relationship, and without that legitimisation before, queer relationships weren’t considered on par with straight relationships as something ‘normal’ or ‘genu-
ine’, instead defined by their parameters for sexual intercourse. Any LGBTQ+ person will undeniably have to face implicit societal homophobia. Despite this, same-sex female relationships tend to have more freedom than same-sex male relationships. And, well, if we’re going to point fingers at who to blame, the patriarchy is probably a good place to start. If women are still being perceived as commodified sexual vehicles by the alpha males of the world (and, if you venture into any cesspool of comments on articles about feminism, these alpha males are out in droves), then two women together is an absolute field day. As long as they can watch and derive pleasure from these interactions, the alpha males have no issue with letting female relationships slide by – after all, it’s no secret that most lesbian porn is created for straight men. However, when these alpha males view gay or bisexual men as a threat to them, this lustfulness vanishes and is replaced instead by disgust and fear. From September 2020, it is compulsory to teach primary school children about LGBTQ+ relationships in Relationship and Sex Education. Naturally, this was met with plenty of backlash from self-entitled parents who claimed it was against their “religious and philosophical morals”. However, these protestors seem hellbent on pushing the ‘inappropriate’ aspect, wor-
ried that their children will be sullied by the sin that is same-sex couples depicted in loving relationships. This education consists of both relationships and sex (it’s in the name); no one bats an eye at the inappropriateness of teaching children about sex between a man and a woman. If they’re worried about the sex part, well, I don’t know how to tell them that straight people have sex, too. It’s a lot of little things that build up over time. When I was 15, the top film in Netflix’s LGBTQ+ genre section was ‘Blue Is the Warmest Color’, which is essentially 3 hours of lesbian soft porn. Every day I see underage straight girls on social media discussing who tops and who bottoms in their (always male) ship of the month. It’s this nit-picking obsession to know what goes on behind closed doors that I’ve seen way more in LGBTQ+ relationships than straight relationships. There’s not a get-fix-quick solution to these embedded societal biases. At this point, it’s just useful to be aware of them. Sexuality is not, and has never been, binary. Whether you enjoy sex, aren’t fussed about it, are attracted to every gender, or are only attracted to one, it’s none of other people’s business.
ALLY FOWLER she/her
you have a match! 40% of respondents have received unsolicited sexual pictures on an app
75% of respondents have sexted
7 of re 3% s
have
pond used ents a dat a ing uea’s pp fav
ouri t t i n d only er e is 25% a rel have f ation ound ship
4% of respondents have catfished someone...
9% of respondents have used a dating app while in a relationship
I AM NOT YOUR FETISH: DATING APPS AS A TRANS WOMAN
Honestly, I think if you’d told me that dating apps would get easier once I came out as transgender, I wouldn’t have believed you. Heck, I doubt I would believe you if you told me now. But it’s true. In what I shall only refer to as The Dark Beforetimes, I had multiple Tinder attempts (with little success), but in the brief short spurts on it I had as a trans woman, I found that both matches and dates came much easier. I even went on a nice socially-distanced picnic during COVID. That’s not even mentioning that there were several dates set for “once coronavirus is over” - if you can remember back to that far-too-optimistic April, followed by the still-holding-outhope May, and an I-think-it’s-starting-to-sinkin June. I mean, sure, there were more than a small number of people who unmatched me once they “discovered” I was trans - like it was some hidden and archaic secret they had to excavate that wasn’t on my Tinder profile three times by the end of it - and there were some who quickly switched from “looking for dates” to “just looking for friends” upon that eureka-moment, but I’m hardly bothered. Preferences are preferences. The genuinely less-enjoyable side to dating apps came when I - as some of the more prominent trans women I follow on social media do and have done - chose to dip into Grindr, an app that generally markets itself to gay men but really caters to all, with an impressive amount of freedom when it comes to selecting gender and pronoun options. None of this, however, distracts from the fact it is the
single most cursed app in the entire world. I’m sure anyone who has used it will know the horror of not just finding out that it sorts its distances for potential dates in metres as opposed to kilometres, but of having a moment where a chat is losing your interest, and seeing them getting closer and closer - first 200m away, then 190m, then 170m, then 140 - followed by a sigh of relief when it starts jumping back up to 200m again, and you and the friends that were meant to be studying can all stop obsessing over numbers on your screen and go back to doing uni work. This, however, does not account for the people themselves. Sure there’s dick-pics and early-on solicitations that you show someone nudes from basically the first message, but that’s par for the course. The general experience. You’re reading this article for the Transgender Special. Highlights of opening messages may be “can you shit on my dick” and “£300 if you come to Wyndham for the weekend”, but we can’t forget the more exotic “so how trans are you?” the “have you got tits and a pussy?”, the “had the surgery?” and the “no, seriously, how trans are you?” A personal favourite, is when someone in what I’m sure they assumed was a wokezinger that would shoot straight to my poor, transexual soul - said that they had messaged me because they were “interested in exploring the middle ground between man and woman”. Be still, my beating heart. These I can laugh off, ignore, brush away, add to a collection of images that includes a
DM from a polite young man asking if I will fuck his girlfriend while he watches and tell him he’s nothing but a worthless cuckold. I treasure these memories, really. But one type of interaction that I loath, that never fails to ruin a trawl, is one that I have experienced with varying frequency on varying apps. It is crossdressers, or “sissys” - men who get aroused by wearing makeup, or woman’s clothes, or “being treated like a woman” (although what that treatment amounts to is often rather crass and misogynistic) - who message me as if we’re the same, them and I, that there is some shared understanding and camaraderie between us. This is not the case. If your pecker puffs up when packaged in panties, that’s none of my concern, good for you, but that’s not why I transitioned, and there’s nothing fetishistic about my identity or the way I live my life. Questions of “oh, you’re going for a walk? Are you doing it dressed up?” from horny men really aggravate me, because I’m not “dressed up”, sir, I’m wearing the clothes I wear every day because I am a woman and these are my fucking clothes. Honestly, if you’re not even completely sure what a trans woman is, why are you trying to sleep with one? And trust me, these men are trying. Very trying. I’m not a fetish, and you’re not getting laid.
ALex viney she/her
‘LOVE YOURSELF’ IS CLICHE ADVICE, BUT YOU NEED TO START LISTENING
PHOTO: UNSPLASH If I had £1 for every time someone said “you need to love yourself before you love someone else”, I’d never need a job again. Although recently finding out this advice comes from RuPaul, it is a mantra I have had thrown at me from everyone, and it’s quite annoying if it’s all you hear without knowing how to make it happen. I hate to admit it, but looking back, I wish I had listened. It’s easy to reject this advice because of what we all conceive to be self-love. I am no expert on this, but I interpreted not completely loathing myself as close to loving myself as was possible. Sure, there were things about myself I didn’t like way back when, which would imply I didn’t love myself fully, but I honestly thought this was as good as it would get. There is also the perception drilled into us from a young age that loving yourself is arrogant or big-headed, which all of us have been told at one time or another. Admitting you are talented at something or love an aspect of your personality makes you a bad person, at least from my experience. However, I promise it is an important step in life, whether fresh out of a break-up or just in need of a little confidence. Without self-love, it’s harder to notice red flags and be critical of your standing in a relationship. It is so important to understand what is right, what is wrong, and what should
be changed. In the past, I have been so swept up in relationships and simply just happy to be there, to the point that I didn’t notice red flags and essentially didn’t care about the problems. It should not be like that, don’t do this. If you have achieved self-love then you should be, truly, in tune with what you deserve, and well-equipped to spot when you are better than the situation you’re in. Self-love is not just about confidence and awareness though, it’s about damage control. Picture the scene, you’re in a relationship with a love of your life (notice how I didn’t write “the” love of your life, there will be another), with everything you have ever wanted and more, and then one fateful day it all ends. Now what? If you don’t love yourself or have confidence in yourself, skills and abilities, then what do you have? Drastic, I know, but you need to be secure in yourself to survive and thrive no matter what. Feeling like you have nothing is not fun (speaking from experience here), so any preventative measures to stop this from becoming a reality are worthwhile. The most important step in loving yourself, I would argue, comes with realising you are yourself, and you cannot or will not change for someone else. A partner or another person not liking an aspect of you is their problem, not yours. An ex-partner of mine consistently told me I was too loud, row-
dy and outgoing, and I needed to tone this down. I took it to heart, became very shy, and put myself in a really bad place mentally because of it, but that’s a story for another time. Now, I look at the same personality traits of mine, unchanged by their opinions, and I see them as some of my favourite things about myself. I am not loud or rowdy, instead, I am lively and charismatic. I am outgoing, but that’s a good thing. I am a big personality, but I would not have a circle of friends around me without being like this. Catch my drift? Everything you might not like about yourself can easily be twisted into a positive without actually having to change yourself at all. It just takes a little work. Moral of the story? Well, there are multiple things to take from this. If you receive advice along these lines, please listen. It will only help the healing, as annoying as it is. We are all on the tiring journey to loving ourselves one way or another, but I promise it’s a worthwhile journey.
SAM HEWITSON EDITOR-IN-CHIEF HE/HIM
SINGLEHOOD IS SEXY, AND HERE’S WHY
Single life always seemed to be a transitional state. It was an undesirable in-between. No one wanted to be single – it was just the stop-gap between an old and new relationship. It is like waiting at a bus stop; you hop off the bus and wait a little bit before the next one comes along, and you climb aboard. No one has ever enjoyed waiting at a bus stop. Fact. The most radical discovery of my teenage years (other than my clit) was that single life was… great? I left a two-year relationship with an incredible guy, knowing that the relationship I was in was no longer working for me in the way I wanted and needed it to. I went from a long-term relationship to being a single eighteen-year-old on a mission to explore my options. And I did… I tried all of the sample foods and then loop around the shop to sneak a few more of the samples. Without even realising it, I had gone from being in one form of relationship to be in a succession of very short-term engagements that were frankly making me very unhappy. I was seeking validation that I was worthy of someone’s affection, attraction and attention. But when the attention you are receiving is for only one (quite terrible) night, the fix ends quickly or sometimes never hits you at all. Going to university, I was lucky to meet my best friends who became the centre of my
PHOTOs: BROOKE LE BRETON
@whisperingwo
man
world. Suddenly, I had this incredible group of women around me and it started to click that I didn’t need to be in a romantic relationship of some kind to feel validation and fulfilled. Friendships are a kind of relationship and my life was now inundated with six incredible new ones (much better than 6 TERRIBLE men chatting me up in clubs…) Was this revelation completely life-changing? Yes. Did I still make some terrible decisions? Absolutely. There was ‘man-bun boy’ of fresher’s week and some other questionable choices after Sports Nights… But even in these moments I now look back on with fond memories, I wasn’t seeking validation but purely the fun of non-committal sex and the giggles with the girls the next morning as we recounted the tales of the night before. Ditching boys made me realise a few things (hold your wigs, ladies, because these are pretty radical)… My body is amazing and very sexy and doesn’t have to be angled a certain way or completely hairless to be so. It is also deserv-
ing of more than I was putting it through. My worth isn’t determined by anyone else. I have decided I was born enough and that anything else I do in life that makes me proud of myself is a bonus. Being single makes you evaluate what you want from someone who potentially will enter your life romantically. You start to see dickheads everywhere and realise people that you would have paid too much attention to before are not going to make you feel good about yourself. Being single, and truly embracing that identity, has been one of the biggest life lessons thus far in my minuscule twenty years. Without it, I would not be in the position I am now where I have met someone who I am truly happy with. Moral of the story? Being single isn’t the transitional stage – it is a full one-act play of its own and I was channelling all the main character energy. Take your solo moment on stage and rinse it for all it is worth (while using protection because safe sex is sexy sex).
BROOKE LE BRETON she/her
Money, money, money have you received payment for a sexual act at uni? 682 500
3.3% of people stated they had acted as an escort in return for financial or material gain
250 38 4 Yes No unsure have you ever paid for sex with money or material goods? Yes
15
708
No
unsure
1
1 person unsure?
should we scorn porn? have you ever watched porn? 646 500 250
Yes
76 No
3 unsure
How often do you watch porn?
200
47.9% of people said they believe porn may have affected their view of sex
34.9% of people have watched porn with their partner, 1% are unsure
21.2% of people believe you should pay for porn, but only 3% have paid for it
100
> once a Twice a weekly month month
daily multiple daily
your best fantasies, “a delivery courier coming in the k lic d an t ea to “I want house for a steamy shag when they r” ne rt pa my f of food deliver my parcel” “being someone’s kitten. having a man “BEing peed on” dress up in a skirt and pegging him” “I’d like to try eating arse”
“I want a pol ice officer to pin me aga in wall and per st the form a strip search” g n i e b ly l a r e ith en w g g t n s pi p “ju i r d nd a l l u f cum” “Clown
s”
“So I really wanna be pegged by Morrissey. But I’m attracted to women so it’s a difficult thing ya know.” “getting head sitting on a counter top” “being
loved”
“teacher/student”
“The mandalorian”
kinks, and fetishes? “shower sex, maybe a threesome too”
“tom holland”
g n i ogg
Massage” D AN
“d
“orgy” “i want to be dressed up as a cheerleader and a naughty nurse” “Public sex, like on a bus or something”
lay” p e l o r “prison
“blindfolded bbw”
“Consensual non-consent Having whatever they want to do to me done to me. No say in anything” “5 of my girlfriend”
“does having sex with rd of “Had a dream early on in firs t year of aragorn from lo an orgy / train in the ziggs ki the rings count?” tchen with all 13 flatmates” photos: wikimedia commons
your best sex? w, o l s , p e e D “ isy, o n , l a m i n a ” messy sex
“Communication, not lasting 2 mins (champagne without the cham)”
“with my ex”
“good pussy or good “Broke the bedframe” “being comfortable” dick, if they know how to use it, we gucci” “Genitals, Nutella, “respect, care for each Weed” other” “thiccness” “cocktastic chemical ge” a s s a M “Empty House t o p S reaction” “G Anal” “his parents’ kitchen” ex” “biggest load ever” “Consent” “fucking friend’s BIG DICK” “Sharing a shower” “Hot, “ steamy, and a dollop of ice cream” “reciprocation and “Acid, holy fuck” shared feeling” “LCR Anal Creampie”
and your worst? “Dodgy consent also “Whenever I had sex with my ex, I cheesy dicks” couldn’t wait to finish so he could leave and I could make myself some ravioli” “unhygienic” “Can’t get it up so it’s “bad kisser” embarrassing for both” “when he keeps shagging you for an hour straight and you’re just “when you are on acid” laying there waitinG for it to end” , e l o h g n o “awkward, wr “when their dick goes long” o o t / k ic u q o o t soft inside you” “cum ming with e in r u “premat ighting, l d a e 15 h seco ” r nds” e n v o io t t h a ig l r b u “ c eja very unflattering” “when they just jab “bad vibes” at your vagiNA” “Someone slobbery, treating me like they are a bull terrier”
“my partner not taking advantage of my erect 9 incher”
let’s talk about safe sex
7%
of respondents have had a sexually transmitted infection
7%
of respondents ADMIT TO HAVING DIFFICULTIES OBTAINING CONTRACEPTION OR SEXUAL HEALTH HELP FROM UEA SERVICES
WHERE DOES UEA GO FOR SEXUAL HEALTH ADVICE? NHS CLINICS 33% FRIENDS/FAMILY 33%
INTERNET 78% MEDICAL CENTRE 33%
are you feeling confident?
35%
of STUDENTS aRE NOT confident about their naked body
60%
ADMIT THEIR SEX LIFE IS AFFECTED BY THEIR CONFIDENCE PHOTO: UNSPLASH
DO YOU PREFER SEX WITH THE LIGHTS ON OR OFF? ON 26% OFF 32% NO PREFERENCE 42%
80%
FEEL COMFORTABLE TALKING ABOUT SEX OR SEXUALITY!
the craziest place you’ve had sex? “a bench near waterloo station”
“sainsburys centre foyer” “college common room”
this one?
“sofa at a party”
“Sixth form bathroom”
“Wetherspoons” “Park”
and i thought i was awkward around people
“Old school on teacher’s desk” “Shower at a public pool (at Center Parcs of all places)”
Literally 70 people said park. Starting to think picnics aren’t sanitary
“racecourse”
“A roof”
“B&M changing rooms”
“British museum”
“COSTA toilet” top left: geograph, rest: wikimedia commons
Does B&M have changing rooms? hmmm
cheating ople e p f o % 6 . 2 1 s are cheater
have you been cheated on? 500 470 400
300 27.7% of pe ople have been c heated 200 194 on 100 Yes
36 unsure
No
is it ever acceptable to cheat on a partner?
have you ever cheated on someone?
638
603
500 250 42 Yes
No
26 unsure
89 Yes
No
11 unsure
lust in lockdown 40% WHAT HAS LOCKDOWN DONE TO YOUR SEX DRIVE? 6% UNSURE
have broken lockdown for sex
28% NO CHANGE
52%
35% increased
31% decreased
would break lockdown rules for sex, given the chance
17% of respondents have had sexual activity during an online class PHOTO: UNSPLASH
18% would have sex with someone in their bubble... and 4% are unsure, which definitely means they would, right?
THE START OF SOMETHING NEW, BUT MAKE IT 2020... The first few months of a relationship present a very unique set of challenges to any new couple: learning your partner’s little quirks, meeting each other’s friends and awkward conversations about labels and telling families. In my case, all of this was taking place alongside the onset of a global pandemic, which definitely made things a little bit trickier. During the first six weeks we were together, people were far more concerned about winter Love Island than the prospect of Covid spreading around. We still shared drinks, went to house parties and enjoyed Damn Good with no clue of
for the first time, but at least if you’ve got an established relationship to build off you actually have things to talk about. To combat this, we relied heavily on shared TV shows- embracing the trashy with Tiger King and Too Hot to Handle, before
“IT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO EASY TO JUST CALL IT QUITS IN MARCH ... BUT WE DIDN’T” working our way through all three seasons of The Handmaid’s Tale. One episode a night with FaceTime calls once or twice a week got us through until I was able to visit during the summer, where we upgraded to outdoor dinner dates and
We spent a really nice Christmas with my family, but then had to come back and face the reality of a third, and seemingly never ending, lockdown. I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t considered breaking the lockdown rules on several occasions - this time feels so much harder, with the winter weather, being away from my family, and not having as much of my support network in the city as I usually would. However, as a key worker living with key workers, the risk of making people I care about sick isn’t worth taking. Still, we’ve tried: going back to our shared TV shows and FaceTime calls has helped to a point, but this time I’m so aware of exactly what I’m
PHOTO: UNSPLASH
what was about to happen. Before Boris gave his first televised address telling us we were going into lockdown, we’d spent the day on the beach and waited in a ridiculously long line for McDonald’s. The speech was followed by drinking and crying, and I drove home the following day, naively thinking I’d be gone for three weeks.
“PEOPLE WERE FAR MORE CONCERNED ABOUT WINTER LOVE ISLAND THAN THE PROSPECT OF COVID” out.
Well, you already know how that turned
I’m not saying lockdown was easy for any couple suddenly experiencing long-distance
drinks in the park with friends. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to give us a little boost when we needed it. Since returning to Norwich in August, we’ve been bouncing from one extreme to the other. We lived together for a few weeks, which was...intense, given I have the single bedroom! We formed a household bubble when my housemates left for lockdown and Christmas, and we’d finally found a balance of living apart and visiting regularly which worked for everyone.
missing. Back in March it was someone I got on well with who liked giving me time and attention, now it’s the person I love. As I’m writing this, we’re three days off our anniversary, and a week away from a Valentine’s where we can’t be together. But as awful as this year has been in so many ways, I wouldn’t change a second of what I’ve managed to build up. It would have been so easy to just call it quits in March when things got difficult, but we didn’t, which I’ll always be grateful for. I’ve learned so much about resilience, about how important it is to have someone you can tell anything to, and about how to love someone else through the worst bits.
EMILY KELLY she/her