Miami University Insider Guide

Dear Reader,

We are strong believers in the importance of a student's support system as they tackle the challenges and opportunities of college. Whether you are the parent, grandparent, stepparent, guardian, family friend, counselor, coach, or mentor of a college student, you can have a positive impact on the student you care about and their success.

This guide touches on many important and helpful topics. There are additional resources on CollegiateParent.com .

Sincerely, CollegiateParent

CollegiateParent provides print and digital resources for the families of college students through our website and in partnership with colleges and universities across the United States. Please visit CollegiateParent.com to get our latest tips, find out more about your student’s school, sign up for the Loop (our parent eNewsletter), and connect with us on social media.

INSIDER CONTENT (PART 2–PART 4) BY: Amy Baldwin, Ed.D., Rob Danzman, MS, NCC, LCMHC, Mindy East, Kate Gallop, Cambria Pilger, LaTrina Rogers, Suzanne Shaffer, Jennifer Sullivan, and CollegiateParent staff.

DESIGNED BY:

Kade O’Connor

© 2023 CollegiateParent. All rights reserved.

Welcome TO MIAMI UNIVERSITY

Congratulations on the beginning of your student’s first year at Miami University!

We are excited for you and your student to be a part of the Miami Family. Your support during their Miami experience is integral to their success, and you’re a valued and important partner at Miami.

We know that the first few weeks after sending your student to college are often filled with excitement and anxiety — for you and your student! This time is also a very real reminder of the significant shift in your relationship with your emerging young adult. Remember, the values you’ve instilled over time form the core of the person they are becoming. College is a place where they will clarify those values and learn from people who may hold different values.

College is full of ups and downs, successes and failures, false starts and learning experiences. We tell students that this is a safe place to take well-calculated risks, and that the most significant growth and learning often comes from making mistakes. However, this can be especially hard for you to watch from afar and resist the urge to intervene when your student experiences frustration and hardship. Shifting to the role of coaching your student through the situation, rather than intervening for your student, will go a long way toward developing their ability to handle similar situations in the future.

Parent and Family Programs and the Division of Student Life at Miami are committed to supporting you throughout your student’s time on campus.

We don’t expect you or any family member to support your student alone or to know the answers to all of their questions. This guide is structured to provide information directly applicable to your student’s college experience and many of the common situations students encounter. We hope you will find it helpful in better understanding these issues and identifying resources that can facilitate your student’s success.

Parent and Family Programs and the Division of Student Life at Miami are committed to supporting you throughout your student’s time on campus. We are with you every step of the way, now until graduation.

Love and Honor,

Joe Hawkins Director, Parent and Family Programs

Division of Student Life

513-529-3436

parents@MiamiOH.edu

for Miami Parents and Families

There is a lot of information related to supporting your student that doesn’t necessarily make sense to communicate at orientation, but also requires more interaction than an email newsletter.

This is why we are proud to offer a schedule of parent and family webinars throughout the academic year. These online sessions provide the opportunity to hear directly from Miami staff on topics such as planning for study abroad, fraternity and sorority recruitment, supporting a student who is sick, and academic support resources. Additionally, your questions are immediately answered in the moment with a depth of information not always possible with a newsletter. Visit MiamiOH.edu/student-life/parents/ resources/webinars to find the list of this year’s webinars and recordings of previous sessions.

Beyond sending you information related to your student’s time at Miami, we recognize that you also have knowledge and experiences that can benefit other Miami families and the University. Share your wisdom by joining and actively participating in the Miami University | Parents & Family Members Facebook group, which has over 14,000 family members of Miami students who trade information, strategies, and celebrations related to their Miami student.

Not yet receiving newsletters and other messages from Parent and Family Programs? Visit MiamiOH.edu/parents and click on “Stay In Touch” to join the email distribution list for your student’s class year.

Top T ips for Successful Students

AND THE FAMILIES THAT SUPPORT THEM

By Jennifer Sullivan

Successful Students:

1. Ask for Help

This sounds simple, but some students find it very difficult. This is because asking for help requires students to do two things: 1) acknowledge that they need help and 2) have the courage to ask for it.

In college, if students don’t say anything about a problem, staff and professors will assume they have everything under control. If students are having trouble with anything (academics, roommates, mental health, etc.), they (not their parents) need to speak up. Students who are introverted or anxious may be daunted by the prospect of approaching their professor. Practicing or role-playing this kind of interaction can help them build confidence.

2. Find the Best Place to Do Their Homework

Where did your student do homework in high school — on their bed, at a desk, at the dining room table? Encourage them to reflect on their previous study habits, and then think about their ideal college study environment. Campuses have many different types of spaces for students to work, hang out and socialize. Your student should try a few spots to find one that makes them feel relaxed and productive.

3. Write Down Usernames and Passwords

New college students receive a school email address and username. Most colleges also require new students to set up an account in an online learning management system (LMS) for viewing grades and submitting assignments. Remembering all their usernames and passwords can be tough! Ideally, students find an organizational system they like before arriving on campus, but it’s not too late. There are great phone apps that store and organize this important info.

4. Get to Know the Health and Counseling Center

Your student’s physical and emotional health is as important as their academic success! Every college and university has health and mental health services available on campus. Even if your student doesn’t need this care right away, chances are good that soon they, a roommate or friend will get sick or may need some support or a listening ear.

Encourage your student to explore services on the college’s website and locate the health care building, its hours of operation and how to make an appointment. Some offices accept walk-in appointments while others schedule appointments in advance online.

For Families:

1. Remember: College is a Marathon, Not a Sprint

Developing college-level academic, social, emotional and executive functioning skills takes time. During the early weeks and months of college, your student will rely heavily on the academic and social skills they developed in high school. For some lucky students, this works just fine. Others are surprised to learn that their high school skills aren’t helping them meet the rigors of college. This is completely normal! Successful students recognize which high school skills work and which don’t. Trust the process and settle in for the marathon. The student who enters college will not be the same person who graduates. Walk alongside them and support them.

2. Expect Them to Make Mistakes

Expectations shape our attitudes and reactions. If we expect perfection, we will often (always?) be disappointed. If we expect some bumps in the road we won’t be surprised to hit a pothole. College students must learn how to balance academic demands, friendships, nutrition, exercise, mental health, money management and more — without a parent around to help. Oversleeping an occasional class or ordering too many GrubHub deliveries in the first semester is common. They’re figuring it out — just like you did at their age.

3. Avoid the Worst-CaseScenario Mental Minefield

It will happen eventually — you get a text from your student with bad news. Or maybe it’s a letter in the mail addressed to your student with midterm grades, or a social media post that sends up your parental red flag. Have you ever gone down this dangerous road? “They got a D! What if they fail the class? What if they fail ALL their classes?”

We parents tend to obsess over bad news. It’s important to take care of yourself. Avoid the “what if” thoughts by doing something joyful and distracting: turn on uplifting music, offer to walk a neighbor’s dog if you don’t have one of your own, spend 30 minutes writing a letter (or nice comments on social media), meet a friend (and don’t talk about your kids!).

4. Celebrate Their Homecomings

Students love coming home because it’s where they can leave the pressures of school behind and just be themselves. However, parents may see school breaks as a chance to get stuff done (go to the dentist, get a haircut, visit Grandma!). Try not to overdo it. There are sure to be serious things to discuss (grades, their budget), but start by making them feel special when they come home — and loved.

Your child leaving for college affects your life as well. Allow yourself to feel your feelings. Treat yourself with patience and compassion. There’s no rush to “have it all together” immediately. If you feel like texting your student to say “I love you,” do it! They may need to read those words as much as you need to send them.

G etting Involved ON CAMPUS

By Kate Gallop

Colleges have clubs for everything. Whether your student wants to get involved in sports, volunteering, advocacy, cultural groups, Greek life or something related to their academic interests, there’s a club or organization ready to welcome them (“or they can start their own!”).

Clubs are a great way for new students to extend themselves, make friends, continue the activities they love and find new ones.

When I arrived on campus as a freshman, everything felt so new. I woke up in a new room, found new classrooms, learned from new professors, ate new food and met new people. It was exciting but also unsettling to be starting over completely. Each day I grew more used to my routine, but a few weeks in, something still seemed to be missing.

Then I attended the activities fair. I wandered around tables and wrote out my name and email possibly too many times. Afterwards, I got emails from the clubs that looked interesting and went to a few first meetings. Before I knew it, I had joined the Club Basketball team. Playing a sport again helped me meet people who shared the same interest, fall into a healthy and comfortable routine, and feel more at home on campus. Greek Life, community service and mental health advocacy also drew me in.

Do Initial Research

There is sure to be one or more activities fairs early in the school year, but there are other ways to learn about clubs — even before classes start. You can usually find a list of clubs with a short description and contact information by searching “campus life” or “student life” on the college website. This is a great tool and helped me navigate my second activities fair better than my first because I knew what I was looking for.

Ask Questions

When considering which groups to join, be sure to understand their expectations for members. This includes what the joining process is like, the time commitment, how lenient they are about attendance, and whatever else you’re curious about. This will help you anticipate if the club will be a good fit. Many groups host information sessions after the activities fair where you can learn even more. It can be tempting to sign up for a ton of clubs — make sure you’re excited about each one you join.

Reach Out at Any Time

It’s never too late to join. If you stumble upon a club that sounds fun, don’t

be afraid to reach out, no matter how far into the semester it is. Some groups only accept new members at the start of the term, but contacting them will help you be aware of when you can join and your interest will be appreciated. My roommate emailed the photography club halfway through fall semester and attended her first meeting the following week.

Support Other Activities

Supporting friends in their activities throughout the year is a great way to feel connected on campus. I attended improv comedy sketches, a cappella concerts and fundraisers. Going to events around campus helps you meet new people and support your friends, and you may even find something you want to join. Look at posters, follow student activities on social media, and ask around!

Don’t Try to Do It All

At the start of freshman year, I felt pressure to find all the groups I wanted to join immediately. Looking back, I could have paced myself better. Activities are a great way to meet people but there will be time to try new things and get more involved as the semesters go by.

Here are ideas to share with your student as they acclimate to their new campus community this fall!

Residential Life

AND YOUR STUDENT’S PERSONAL GROWTH

By LaTrina Rogers

First-year students are starting a new chapter: college! It’s a new chapter for parents, too.

As a Director of Residential Life, I know it’s not easy to leave your student on their own, whether this is the first or third time you’ve taken a child to college. It’s natural to experience a myriad of emotions, and sometimes anxiety predominates. You’ve been nurturing your student through every stage of life, and the thought of not being there as they navigate new experiences is nerve-wracking. Even the parents of first-year commuter students are nervous (though their students come home daily). These emerging adults are still your babies!

Campus housing staff are aware of how parents are feeling during the first semester of their student’s college journey. Many institutions offer programs, groups and events for family members to create a community of support. We’re there for you even as we encourage you to step back a bit to show confidence and trust in your student. Giving them space to develop into the person they desire to become is one of the goals of higher education.

Your first-year student’s living situation will play an important role in their adjustment to college. Schools want

students to have a positive residential life experience! But it’s important to remember that there is no way to completely avoid some level of awkwardness or adversity during a student’s time on campus.

In recent years, I’ve found that many parents have unrealistic expectations of campus housing staff. There can be a “customer service” mindset, often accompanied by a sense that campus housing has an obligation to make things right for the customer (whether that’s the student or parent).

Communication will come from your student (not housing staff).

Many parents expect to receive a high level of personal attention from campus housing staff and get a phone call whenever there’s an issue with their student. In fact, college students are considered adults, and laws such as FERPA (the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act) are in place to protect their privacy.

There are staff available to support students in every aspect of the college experience. But it is the student’s responsibility to reach out for assistance. There are many ways students can connect with campus resources, and procedures in place for students who are struggling, whether academically or personally.

Housing staff will not call parents at every point of adversity; instead, it’s the student’s responsibility to communicate with their parents or guardians.

We’re devoted to students’ wellbeing, but don’t keep tabs on them. Another common expectation some parents have is that campus housing staff will help them track the whereabouts of their students. We often hear from parents concerned because their student isn’t answering the phone. Parents even arrive on campus and want to enter a student’s room “just to check in.”

We understand parents worry if they don’t hear regularly from their student. It takes a while to get used to the fact that you no longer know at all times where they are and what they’re doing. It’s natural to want to make sure they’re okay.

However, most residence halls have visitor policies which apply to family members, too. And unless it’s an emergency, there’s not much housing staff can do about locating a student who is not in their room or answering their phone. If there is an emergency with a student who hasn’t been seen or heard from for a specific amount of time, typically that situation is given to campus police.

To avoid confusion and disappointment about campus housing policies and processes, here are three things it can be helpful to understand.

Take some time during these early days of college to make a plan with your student about how often you will text or talk. This will put your mind at ease.

Your student will learn to do things on their own!

Over the years, I’ve had parents make some jaw-dropping requests such as personally waking up their student for class, cleaning rooms and helping students pack for move-out. Maybe because I’m known as “The Dorm Mom,” they assume I’ll do things for students that the students’ own parents might do at home.

I believe that these expectations spring from love and concern for their children. But since my goal is to foster independence, I encourage students

to take care of things on their own. I’m always happy to help by providing clarification, verification or assistance finding resources to complete a task. And I’ve led classes in the residence halls (and taught private one-onone lessons) on cooking, cleaning bathrooms, doing laundry and even time management.

College is a time of growth, and campus housing is the perfect supportive space for this growth to happen.

So, keep the lines of communication with your student wide open. Ask them what challenging situations they faced this week, what campus resources they took advantage of — and what they learned about themselves and their own capabilities along the way.

LEARNING TO Manage Money

By CollegiateParent

For first-year students, one of the biggest challenges outside the classroom is learning to manage money. They’re now responsible for paying for all sorts of things on their own, from textbooks and groceries to laundry and an occasional haircut.

They’re also responsible for their university Student Account and making sure tuition and fees are paid on time. If you’re paying these bills, your student can add you as an Authorized User, but keeping them in the loop about college costs is a great way to help them gain financial literacy and understand the investment you’re making as a family in their education.

Beyond this, parents can play a key role by helping students make a budget and keep an eye on the money going in and out of their bank account. Printable budget worksheets are easy to find online and there are many good smartphone budgeting apps.

The Fall Spending Money Budget

If you didn’t do this before the start of the school year, take time now to make a list with your student of their flexible/ recreational expenses (everything besides tuition, room, board, and student fees — although if they’ll contribute to these, put them in the budget as well).

Flexible expenses may include:

• Textbooks

• Clothing

• Electronics and school supplies

• Toiletries and other personal items

• Dorm furnishings

• Laundry money

• Food/drink outside of the meal plan

• Entertainment

• Local travel (bus pass, Uber trips)

• Recreational travel and trips home

• Sorority/fraternity or club dues

Next, estimate how much each item will be and agree on who’s paying for what, taking your student’s income into consideration. Their income will come from their savings, earnings from a campus job (if they will work), and possibly an allowance from you. Make it a goal for your student to maintain a certain level of savings.

The ease of buying things online and with their phones means small purchases can get out of control. Peer pressure is another factor that can cause students to overspend, so talk about how they may need to say no sometimes to an activity or purchase that a roommate or friend doesn’t think twice about. On this subject, be clear about what will happen if they don’t stay within their budget (in case they assume you’ll automatically bail them out).

Fall semester will involve some experimentation. Your student may easily stay within their budget or run short each month. Over winter break, you can look back together at the experience and help them revise their budget for spring semester based on what they learned.

“ Financial literacy can make the difference between building upon a good financial foundation from the start or learning from mistakes. It can help teens and young adults get through the ups and downs of life and provides a sense of security. ”

— Lisa Paniccia, author of ABC’s for Financial Independence

The Perks of Campus Employment

A great way to balance income and spending is to get a campus job. A comprehensive NASPA study found that college students who work parttime during the school year get better grades than those who don’t, probably because they need to be more focused, organized and conscientious about budgeting time for study. Finding a job in the local community is an option, but on-campus positions have special advantages. The hours are usually flexible, and supervisors will accommodate your student’s schedule. Student employees meet more of their fellow students as well as more faculty members, administrators, and staff — a great network for career mentorship, professional references, and allaround support.

If Federal Work-Study is part of your student’s financial aid package, they can research and apply for available work-study positions, but there are usually plenty of campus jobs to go around for any student who wants one. Departments that hire students may include the admissions and alumni offices, recreation center, library, dining facilities, bookstore, museums and art galleries, language and computer labs, and performance spaces.

Important HEALTH CONVERSATIONS

By CollegiateParent

In college, probably for the first time, your student will be wholly responsible for taking care of their own physical and emotional wellbeing.

For that reason, the most important health conversations you can have with them are ones where you encourage them to make wellness a priority in their daily lives, to familiarize themselves with health support resources on campus, and to always feel comfortable reaching out to you when they have a concern or just need a little advice.

Revisit health-related topics each and every time you talk with your student!

Make sure they know how health insurance works.

Go over their coverage (whether they’re on the school’s health plan or still covered by your family insurance) and how and where to access services. Will they use the campus health center for all their needs, or go there just for the easy/free stuff (flu shots, treatment for minor illnesses) and see a provider or specialist in the local community?

Review resources available on campus.

They’ll receive a lot of information at orientation and during move-in, but it can be overwhelming. Look at the website so you can nudge them to explore what’s offered at the student health clinic and counseling/mental health center. Your student will find online informational materials, workshops, and drop-in support groups related to pretty much every wellness issue under the sun:

• Nutrition and body positivity

• Sexual health, gender identity, relationships

• Alcohol education

• Stress and anxiety management

• Conflict resolution skills

Don’t forget about religious and spiritual life opportunities as well as fitness classes at the campus rec center.

Go over what to do if they get sick.

Your student should have a first aid kit with a thermometer and basic overthe-counter remedies as well as a supply of rapid COVID-19 test kits. Talk through possible scenarios, ranging from treating a cold to how to know if it’s something more serious like Covid or the flu. Remind them that if symptoms (sore throat, fever, vomiting, headache, etc.) linger for days without improvement, they should visit the campus health center — but they don’t have to suffer in silence if they just want to get checked out.

Since colleges are bound by a federal law called FERPA which governs the privacy of student educational and treatment records, you won’t know if or when your student visits campus health and counseling clinics. It’s up to your student to decide whether to share information with you, which is something else the two of you can discuss early on.

Talk about responsible drinking.

Most families have strict rules about drinking in high school, but in college, an abstinence-only policy may not be practical. National surveys show that 9 out of 10 college students experiment with alcohol, 7 out of 10 drink regularly, and 3 out of 10 will be problem drinkers.

This doesn’t mean you should feel helpless. By talking regularly with your student about the campus party scene, their experiences with alcohol, and what it means to drink responsibly, you can continue to have a positive influence.

Education isn’t the same as endorsing underage drinking. Instead, when you teach your student about how alcohol works in the body, the importance of protecting their cup and sticking with friends at parties, and how to recognize when it’s time to exit a situation or call for help, you emphasize health, safety, and self-advocacy.

These conversations require that you know your facts, be honest and open-minded, and most of all, be ready to listen. For more, visit collegiateparent.com/wellness/talkabout-responsible -drinking

A Mental Health Game Plan FOR

COLLEGE STUDENTS AND FAMILIES

By Rob Danzman, MS, NCC, LCMHC

Move-in day is here, and along with it the reminder that our kids eventually grow up and leave home.

Though a few will breeze through the college years, many will struggle at some point along the way. Below I share suggestions on how to parent college students whether they’re experiencing challenges or just anxious about the big transition.

Organization

Encourage your first-year student to fight the urge to slide casually into college life. It’s essential to set academic and personal expectations — start with more structure and back off as the semester proceeds (if it’s going well).

And talk about calendars. Calendars are a foundation for success and counteract a lot of mental health symptoms. Missing an advisor meeting, forgetting about a counseling session, or completely blanking on a big assignment are good ways to have a bad semester.

The start of fall semester is also a great time to introduce the concept of incrementalism. I’ve worked with students with a 4.0 high school GPA coming into freshman year who spun out by November. The overstimulation and lack of restraint became a disaster. Check in early and often at the beginning with a focus on what’s measurable. Small wins add up to big wins.

Counseling

Have your student schedule an initial appointment with the college counseling center (the Student Counseling Service here at Miami) before or immediately after they get to campus. Even if they have no intention of going regularly, it helps to know where the center is and have that personal connection. Students are more likely to use counseling if they’ve been before.

If your student needs ongoing counseling, the school's services may not be enough. I recommend that you help your student find a communitybased clinician before the October rush. For students who’ve been working with a therapist at home and want to meet with someone at school, ensure the therapists coordinate to provide a smooth hand-off.

Don’t forget to have your student sign a release of information. You don’t need details from each session but a general sense of how things are trending.

By Cambria Pilger

Advice

FROM A RESIDENCE LIFE STUDENT LEADER

Family Communication

Agree on how regularly you’ll talk. It’s incredible how loving, engaged kids disappear once they get to school. I’ve also worked with students who called home too much. Having a general idea of when you will catch up frees kids from feeling pressured to respond to every text and gives parents a sense of relief.

Don’t be lulled into a false sense of security as the semester cranks up and things quiet down. Situations that blow up in December result from the smallest dark clouds forming on the horizon in September and October. I like the analogy of a car’s alignment. The slightest degree of misalignment over 10 feet is almost imperceptible, but given enough distance and speed, that same misalignment leads to the vehicle flipping over into a ditch.

Self-Care for Parents

The way you parent when your child is out of the house requires a serious examination of your distress-tolerance skills. Consider working with a therapist if you’re anxious about your student’s well-being even after you’ve done all the above. You encourage your student to take care of themselves — you need to do the same.

And remember: Most situations in which our kids find themselves are not as good or as bad as they believe them to be. Set a calm, intentional tone at the beginning of the semester with regular check-ins throughout — and enjoy the ride.

While working as an RA in college, I learned a lot about helping students through challenging times. The best thing family members can do is listen to and love your student, and encourage them to engage in wellness programs and opportunities.

What Services are Available on Campus?

There is support right in your student’s very own dorm! Residence Life staff care about students and are a key resource. Developing a relationship with their RA can be a lifeline for a first-year student. And it’s absolutely worth checking out what’s going on at the campus counseling center. In addition to scheduled appointments with a counselor, the center is likely to offer workshops, walk-in sessions, and peerled support groups. Students can get help with:

• Dealing with the adjustment to a new school and group of peers

• Lack of motivation, difficulty concentrating

• Feeling anxious or stressed

• Lack of confidence/low self-esteem

• Sleep problems

• Feeling lonely or isolated

• Family or relationship issues

• Career/life choices

• Concerns about substance or alcohol use

It’s important to know what resources are available and to encourage your student to take the first step if you sense they’re struggling. But it’s always best not to pressure them. They may not feel comfortable discussing their emotional health with you. Ask what you can do for them and they’ll tell you what they need.

If you feel your student needs immediate help, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 for free, confidential support 24/7. Call, text or chat 988 to be connected to trained counselors that are part of the existing NSPL network.

Safety ON CAMPUS

By CollegiateParent and Suzanne Shaffer

As your student acclimates to their new campus and life, check in about what they do on a daily basis to keep themselves safe. You can help by supplying good advice and the best safety tools available.

When it comes to personal safety, today’s college students live in a world that requires vigilance and awareness. Colleges and universities work to foster safe environments, but students share responsibility.

A Basic Safety Checklist

These recommendations will be shared at orientation and move-in, but it’s good to revisit the list periodically. It may take your student a while to check off every box!

` Always lock your dorm room and secure your valuables.

` Don’t let anyone who doesn’t have a student ID into the residence hall. Even if they ask nicely. Verify their identity.

` Sign up for campus emergency alerts. Program emergency numbers into your cellphone for easy access.

` Use the buddy system. It can be tempting to go for a run alone, or make a quick trip to the library by yourself after dark, but it’s not worth the risk. Never be alone at night or in remote areas. Stick with your friends at parties and don’t let a friend leave a party alone or with someone they don’t know. Use the buddy system when taking public transportation, Uber and Lyft, too.

` Use campus security escorts and safe rides.

` Take advantage of safety training. Many campuses offer self-defense classes, or you can sign up for one at a local Y or recreation center.

` Register any valuables with serial numbers (electronics, bikes, etc.) with the campus police department. This makes them easier to track if they’re stolen.

Tools for Staying Safe Safety apps

Your student’s smartphone can be a great self-defense tool. Safety apps give them instant access to authorities, parents and fellow students when they feel they’re in an unsafe situation. Encourage your student to ask their friends for safety app recommendations, and give free apps a test drive. A few to consider are Watch Over Me and Circle of 6

Self-defense carry items

These items pair well with a selfdefense class because, when faced with danger, your student needs to be prepared to use them quickly and with confidence.

` A whistle or personal safety alarm is the simplest option. Alarms, which are small and can be attached to keys for easy access, emit up to 130 decibels to scare off an attacker plus capture the attention of bystanders.

` Pepper spray (which causes severe irritation of the eyes, skin and respiratory system) is popular because it’s quick, easy to use and effective. However, pepper spray is illegal in some states. Check the law where your student attends school.

Review Emergency Procedures

` Remind your student to add an ICE (In Case of Emergency) number and also the campus police emergency number into their phone’s contacts.

` Ask your student about emergency drills that have taken place. What were they instructed to do in different kinds of emergency situations? Going over the information with you should help fix it in your student’s mind.

` Be sure you have the names and phone numbers of a few of your student’s roommates or close friends as well as their parents, and that they have yours.

` Students should understand the natural hazards on and near their campus (for example, if the campus is in a flood plain) and pay attention to severe weather warnings so they can be in a safe place if/when a storm hits.

` They should know multiple ways out (including fire exits) of the buildings they frequent on campus.

` They should know their residential housing staff/landlord and be able to get in touch with them quickly.

` In a weather-related emergency, your student could be stranded in a resident hall or apartment for a few days, potentially without power. Encourage them to make an emergency kit that includes a three-day supply of water and non-perishable food (dried fruit, nuts, bars, tuna packets, crackers, etc.), a flashlight and extra batteries, a battery-powered or hand-cranked radio, first aid supplies, any medications they take, rain gear and warm clothes.

Safe Partying/Drinking Practices

Students who drink excessively are at higher risk of being involved in car accidents, hazing and sexual assault. Keep talking to your student throughout college about alcohol and substance use.

Ask questions and listen to what they have to say about social situations they’ve been in or witnessed. Talk through possible scenarios so they can anticipate how they might act, react and help their friends. Discuss the dangers of drink tampering and binge drinking. Make sure they know how to drink responsibly and how to get home safely when they are out late.

When talking to your student about alcohol use and safe partying practices, try to be understanding and careful in your judgments as this will encourage your student to be open with you and invite more conversations down the road. Learn more at niaaa.nih.gov/ publications/brochures-and-factsheets/college -drinking

Don’t hesitate to talk about personal safety!

Knowing and practicing safety precautions will lead to your student feeling empowered not scared. Informed students are ready to steer clear of dangerous situations, and prepared students are more likely to emerge unscathed from an attempted crime. Help your student be both.

The Importance OF PROFESSORS AND ADVISORS

By Amy Baldwin, Ed.D.

The student-professor relationship is one of the most important to cultivate. Academic advisors are also key players in a student’s successful adjustment to college and can guide them all the way through to an on-time graduation.

You can encourage your student to create open lines of communication with their professors and make the most of every advising appointment. Here are tips and talking points!

Coach Your Student to Communicate With Professors

1. Establish a relationship early.

Professors will be happy to get to know your student before a problem arises. Any time during the semester (with the exception of the day before the final!) is a good time to reach out, but the sooner the better.

Your student should take cues from the syllabus about the best way to communicate. Is the professor available to meet in person or is email or an online meeting better? It should go without saying — if the professor prefers email, then use email and check it often.

When your student meets with the professor for the first time, they should have a list of questions ready. Here are a few that can help your student learn more about the professor’s expectations:

• “I want to learn as much as I can in your class. What can I do to succeed?”

• “I usually [fill in usual study practices]. What will work best for this class?”

• “I want to be sure I start off with solid work in your class. Can I come see you before an assignment is due to make sure I’m on the right track?”

2. Seek immediate feedback after graded work.

If your student gets a low grade, or lower than anticipated, even if they think they know why, it’s good to check in with the professor as soon as possible. Here’s how to open a conversation:

• “I reviewed my work. Can we go over what I did wrong so I understand what to do differently next time?”

• “I’m bummed I messed up that assignment. Would you help me see where I made mistakes?”

• “Can we talk about how this low grade will affect my progress in the course? I want to be sure to make the improvements I need to raise my grade.”

Because students share this fear with me, it’s worth telling you: Yes, professors really want to talk with students who’ve failed an assignment. No, they don’t think their students aren’t smart enough to pass their class.

Professors want their students to learn and to earn good grades. Your student shouldn’t be ashamed to speak to a professor about a class they’re failing. Reaching out demonstrates a willingness to improve.

Make the Most of an Advising Appointment

Academic advisors help students register for courses and keep track of credits and degree requirements. But that’s not all an advisor can do. Advisors can help your student connect with resources if they are having academic, personal or financial challenges. Your student should view their advisor as a guide, coach and support system. Here are three steps to follow.

1. Plan the visit with the advisor. Students should prepare ahead of time for every appointment. The advisor needs to know what your student needs as soon as they get there.

• Create a list of questions or a goal to share. For example, “I’m here to talk about what classes to take next semester and what would happen if I change my major.”

• Look up policies, forms or other information that will improve the conversation. Your student may want to read course descriptions or download a copy of their degree plan.

• Be ready to take notes. Will your student handwrite notes, type, or record the session? They’ll need notes about what was discussed and what steps to take next.

2. Role play the conversation.

I know from professional experience and also from my own son, who’s a college student, that many students don’t know what to say in the moment even with a list of questions in their hand. That’s why it’s important to practice the conversation ahead of time.

You don’t have to know the ins and outs of college advising — you just need to help your student learn how to ask questions and follow up with additional questions. Here’s a sample script:

Advisor Role: What can I do for you today?

Student: I need help registering for classes and I want to talk about changing my major.

Advisor Role: First, what classes are you thinking about taking? Then, tell me what’s motivating you to change your major.

Help your student identify what preparation they still need to do before their appointment and clarify what they want from the meeting.

3. Follow up if needed.

A single advising appointment probably won’t answer all your student’s questions. A follow-up (even multiple ones) may be needed.

Encourage your student to check in regularly with their advisor even if there isn’t a pressing issue. Other reasons to meet with an advisor include:

• Your student’s progress in a course or courses is in jeopardy and they need to know what will happen if they fail a class.

• They can’t get into a class that’s required for their degree plan.

• They may not graduate on time.

• They want advice on a different major, a minor or a career pathway.

Advisors can’t solve all of your student’s problems, but they can do a lot more than help with course registration. In fact, if your student cultivates a solid relationship with their advisor, they will have a coach, guide and cheerleader all rolled into one.

Support

DURING MIDTERMS & FINALS

The weeks between Thanksgiving and winter break are tough on students. They are buried in work: reading, exam preparation, final projects, paper writing.

Some first-year students experience another wave of homesickness after Thanksgiving. Seniors are extra stressed as they work on theses and capstone projects while applying for jobs and graduate school. Oh, and it’s cold and flu season!

During this stressful time, you may not hear from your student much, or at all. This is natural and most likely okay. They need space — but they also need encouragement and support. When you do talk, or in a letter or a text exchange, you can reinforce strategies for getting through finals healthy and whole. Here are tips to share.

Maximize academic support

• As soon as final projects and papers are assigned, break them into smaller pieces and get started.

• Put all these tasks into a master calendar or your planner and prioritize in order of importance.

• Attend all available study sessions, faculty office hours, etc.

• Get individual tutoring in subjects where you’re struggling.

By CollegiateParent

Take care of yourself. This means:

• Get enough sleep.

• Take short, frequent study breaks (you can put these in your planner).

• Exercise — including outdoors in natural light if possible.

• Spend quality time with friends (again, you can schedule this).

• Eat healthy meals.

• Stay hydrated (try not to rely too much on caffeine).

Encourage your student to keep their eye out for finals support events on campus at the student union, library, health center, etc. and reach out for stress relief through the counseling center.

What else can family members do?

Understand that your student may not have time for the usual phone calls. Send an occasional text/ social message that doesn’t require a response. Check in to confirm their travel plans and offer to help if needed. And they’ll welcome a finals care package:

• Healthy snacks (nuts, dried fruit, protein bars)

• Fidget or stress relief toy

• Cozy hat, gloves, scarf or slippers

• New headphones or earbuds

• Gift card for coffee shop or restaurant they like in town

• Calming teas

• Vitamin C drops or Emergen-C

Choosing a Major —

6 TIPS FOR GUIDING YOUR STUDENT

Every parent wants their student to find their “calling” and click with a major that will help pave the way to a career. Students want that, too! But the process of declaring a major can be scary as well as exhilarating.

By Amy Baldwin, Ed.D.

“Am I making the right choice?” they wonder anxiously. “Will I be able to find a job after graduation?” And then there is the classic question from wellmeaning family and friends. “What are you going to do with that?”

For students whose majors are clear pathways to careers (think nursing,

or accounting), the last question can be answered easily. However, for undecided students worried not only about choosing the “right” major but also about how their degree will prepare them for employment someday, the question can increase their self-doubt. And with self-doubt comes even more anxiety.

1. Relax.

No need to make this experience more traumatic than it already is. Remember that it’s normal for the journey from major to career to twist and turn. Make an effort to keep things in perspective and you’ll be able to share this attitude with your student.

2. Have them reflect on their past to figure out their future.

One of the best strategies to use with college students is to encourage them to reflect on what they liked when they were younger, what they did in their spare time for fun, and what activities they participated in and why. Their past holds clues about the kinds of majors that might interest them. For example, someone who counseled their friends through difficult times may find themselves interested in psychology or social work. An athlete might gravitate to sports management… or sports medicine.

3. Encourage them to focus on what they want to learn, not what sounds good.

The best way to erase self-doubt is to find a subject they like and that will help them build transferable skills. Ask what kinds of classes interest them the most and which classes challenge them to think and grow. Their answers should give them an idea of what they want to spend several years studying. A student who says they want to major in business “so my parents will leave me alone” is not a student who will be happy for long with their choice.

4. Suggest they compare degree plans and course descriptions.

Reading through the college’s course catalog is another way to narrow their choices. (The course catalog and degree requirements can be found on the school’s website.) If your student is choosing between economics and education, for example, suggest they read through the degree requirements (is there an internship requirement? a foreign language requirement?) to see which plan appeals to them more. Have them browse the course descriptions as well. They will spend a lot of time in their major courses and should be intrigued by the topics that await them in that department.

5. Remind them to speak regularly with an academic advisor and/or a career counselor.

The academic advisor will help them navigate the process of completing a degree, and the career counselor can help them develop a plan to translate what they’re learning to workplace needs. Meeting with both throughout college can keep your student on track and help them make any needed adjustments along the way.

6. Suggest they interview recent college graduates.

Some of the best advice about college majors comes from recent graduates. New graduates are likely to tell your student that in general the skills they acquired in college (e.g., critical thinking, written communication, appreciation for diversity) are more important than the content knowledge they gained from their major. At the very least, their advice may lower the pressure to make a “right choice.”

Luckily, there are stress-reducing ways to support and guide students who are at this juncture. Here are six tips.

What if my student wants to change their major?

Students change majors for a variety of reasons and it is perfectly normal. In some surveys as many as 80% of students have switched majors at least once.

But it can still be worrisome to parents, who wonder if their student will be able to graduate on time. In addition to discussing what led them to this new direction (was it a single fabulous course or professor? a new career goal?), here are a few questions you can ask to help your student make the best decision:

• How many additional courses do you need to take? The earlier the change is made, the less likely your student will need to take lots of additional courses.

• Will you need to take more credit hours per term or take summer classes to stay on track? In some cases, an additional course per term or a couple of classes during the summer may be all that’s needed to graduate in four years.

• What other requirements does the new degree plan include? Some degree plans require internships or practicums that must be taken into consideration. As always when working toward a degree, your student should consult with an academic advisor to ensure they are completing required courses in the right sequence.

5 Ways to Begin

CAREER PREP IN THE FIRST YEAR

By Mindy East

Starting college is exciting for students and for their families, too. You spent the summer getting ready for the move to campus and soaking up the time together. Once the semester starts, your student’s focus shifts to academics and adjusting to life on their own.

With so much going on, it may seem silly to start talking about their career. However, the job search process is a marathon rather than a sprint, and starting early will set your student up for success. Here are five simple ways to begin career preparation during the first year of college.

1. Change the mindset.

Contrary to widespread belief, students shouldn’t wait until senior year to begin thinking about possible careers. Talking about it as early as the first year can build both clarity and confidence for your student. College is about intellectual exploration and personal growth (and of course having fun), but make a point as well to talk about how the purpose of their time in college is to prepare them for life — and a career — after graduation. If your student understands that the goal of getting their degree is to join the workforce, they’ll see the benefits of making it a priority to participate in resumebuilding activities each year of college.

2. Focus on building strong study skills.

Although GPA is only one factor employers consider when hiring graduates, it’s important to build a solid academic foundation as a firstyear student. Most universities require completion of general education courses before beginning higher-level classes specific to a major and degree program. Even students who excelled academically in high school can benefit from building strong study habits early on, and using general education courses to learn how to study and excel will boost the grade point average right from the start.

3. Explore clubs and organizations related to their major.

Joining a club can be one of the most rewarding experiences in college and a fantastic addition to your student’s first resume. Clubs and organizations geared toward their career can give an early glimpse into their profession. It’s also a chance to meet older students with shared interests who can guide and mentor them. As a first-year student, it’s wise to be a member and participate — and as your student progresses through college, they should consider a leadership role as well.

4. Make connections on social media.

Once upon a time (maybe you remember!), the student newspaper and flyers posted around campus were the only way to find out what was going on. Now universities are highly active on social media, which means students can use platforms like Instagram and TikTok to “follow” campus resources including the career center, the department they are studying within, and the university’s main page. While we’re on the subject, it’s a good time to remind your student to exercise some care around their personal social media accounts. Students will be tempted to post about how much fun they’re having in college, and may not realize that potential employers frequently Google candidates prior to interviewing them. I recommend adding privacy settings and removing questionable photos such as party pictures.

5. Encourage your student to join Handshake and visit the Career Center.

Handshake is an online platform that connects college students to employers. Schools partner with Handshake to share information about career-related events, jobs, internships, on-campus employer visits, resume support and more. Your student should create a profile on Handshake and download the app so they have this resource at their fingertips.

It’s extremely common for first-year students to be undecided about what career to choose. In fact, over 75% of college students change their major at least once. If your student has questions about what to study, remind them that they can make an appointment at the career center. Assessments can help them figure out what careers may be a match for them. Counselors at the career center can also help them set up informational interviews with alumni in their field. The first year is a perfect time to gain clarity on which career to pursue.

By focusing on these five things during their first year, your student will begin to lay the foundation for a successful career search. Students who invest time and energy into career preparation during each year of college will have more confidence and momentum than those who wait until graduation is around the corner. Considering that in recent years more than half of college students didn’t have a job lined up at the time of graduation, it just makes sense to make this a priority from year one. Best wishes to your student for a fantastic first year!