City Weekly October 6, 2022

Utah chronicles of the uncanny BY WES LONG

Armenia and Azerbaijan

I am ethnically Armenian but born in Salt Lake City. I read a City Weekly article from 2020 regarding the Armenian/Azerbaijan conflict (“No More War,” Nov. 4, 2020) and while I may take issue with some points, I believe in the right to a free press.

However, what is pressing on my mind is the article’s main source, Faiq Safarli. In your article Safarli stated that fighting was only occurring in Karabakh lands.

I am not sure if you are aware, but Azer baijan recently attacked Armenia proper, on Armenian sovereign territory. This also comes after years of xenophobia and ha tred towards Armenia and Armenians in Azerbaijan that is nothing short of a statesanctioned policy to vilify Armenians.

To make a point, the Baykar drones that Azerbaijan got from Turkey during the 2020 war had notes like “chasing dogs” and “running like dogs” written on the drones themselves. These same drones

were carbonizing Armenian soldiers to death. These drones were supplied from Turkey, the successor to the Ottoman Em pire that perpetrated the 1915 Armenian genocide and created a situation in which, today, there are virtually no Armenians left in our homeland.

For what it’s worth, Azerbaijan’s state policy is that the 1915 Armenian genocide is fake and never occurred. This is incon sistent with reality and is akin to what Ho locaust deniers do and say to delegitimize the suffering of Europe’s Jewish popula tions during World War II.

My ethnic country is far from perfect. But we are a democracy, we have an ex change of power, and we are trying to build a free society. In Armenia, people are free to exchange ideas.

This is not the same with Azerbaijan.

Azerbaijan is run by a kleptocracy—for almost 20 years now—and it is so blatant that the ruler appointed his own wife to

be vice president of Azerbaijan. It is also worth noting that Azerbaijan’s authoritar ian regime has earned the nation a score of 9 out of 100 on the annual Freedom In dex (source: Freedomhouse.org and many others).

RAFFI SHAHINIAN West Jordan

Anti-endorsement

Greetings to all my fine Utah friends and fellow readers of this fantastic indepen dent alternative newspaper. I just wanted to remind you that Tuesday, Nov. 8, is Election Day. I want to talk to you about Utah Sen. Mike Lee.

I know what you are thinking, and, no, I’m not supporting him. I’m not endorsing any particular candidate. In fact, quite the opposite—I’m campaigning to not sup port a particular candidate: Mike “Weak in the Knees” Lee.

I want to remind my fellow Utah resi

dents that Mike Lee would sell off your public lands—and maybe his soul—to the highest bidder, in a heartbeat, if he could. Not to mention the fact that he didn’t sup port the peaceful transfer of power and, rather, he offered help to support Trump in his weak coup attempt on Jan. 6, 2021.

At the end of the day, we all must live with the choices that we all make. So when you close that curtain and pull that lever or check the box on your mail-in ballot to make our voices heard, let your con science be your guide.

Take a moment to gather your thoughts and then please-with-sugar-on-top and for the love of the God of your understand ing, vote for anyone but Mike Lee.

LEE THATCHER West Jordan

Care to sound off on a feature in our pages or a local concern? Write to comments@city weekly.net or post your thoughts on our so cial media. We want to hear from you!

THE BOX

What’s your favorite possession?

Sofia Cifuentes

My dogs.

Eric Granato

My black cat, Mani. He’s the most expen sive thing I own.

Mike Ptaschinski

Now that my border collie, Sadie, is no longer with me, I’d have to say my gui tars. I was self-taught when the Beatles broke through and was even in a band in the ’60s, and still love figuring out fin gerstyle arrangements to songs.

Katharine Biele

I would say pets, but beyond that—my “Mango on Wheels” painting. You can’t beat a mango on wheels.

Terri Anderson

My Canon camera.

Benjamin Wood

I have three bikes (four if you count my unicycle) and three ukuleles. Choosing between them would be like choosing a favorite child.

Bryan Bale

My favorite possessions are in two cat egories: musical instruments/gear and computational devices. I cannot possi bly choose a single favorite item.

Bill Frost

An Orgazmo movie poster from the 1997 premiere—my Mormon in-laws hate it.

Harry Potter and the Golden Plates

What do sorcery and The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints have in common? Wait—don’t an swer that.

Recently, Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling riled some Saints when she said—while denying allegations that she’s transphobic—that no one could find any transphobic state ments she’s made. “It’s like when Joseph Smith found the golden plates, and nobody else was allowed to look at them,” Rowling posted on Twitter.

After a backlash from church members and others, she just kept digging: “Eleven people claimed to have seen the plates, some of them related to Smith,” she conceded, “but there’s debate as to whether this was a metaphysical experi ence, or they genuinely saw them.”

As it turns out, Saints of all ages just love Harry Potter even though he’s studying sorcery at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. But perhaps the faithful protest too much? “Magic and religion melded in the (Joseph) Smith family,” writes LDS historian Richard L. Bushman. “Joseph never repudiated the [seer] stones or denied their power to find treasure. Remnants of the magical culture stayed with him to the end.”

Some Mormons now say they will never read Rowling again, and they’ll explain to their kids that Harry Potter dabbles in magic and wizardry—nasty business, indeed.

Moonlighting for Orange Jesus

Utah’s Zorro—aka Attorney General Sean Reyes—is taking a break from searching for trafficked prostitutes in the jungles

of Colombia to defend Donald Trump’s propensity for stash ing classified documents in his wife’s lingerie wardrobe.

Earlier, as you will recall, Reyes came to Trump’s aid by rushing to Reno, Nevada, after the 2020 election to inves tigate allegedly fraudulent voting machines tampered with by Jewish Italian satellites that did not jibe with the Big Lie. What did voting in Nevada have to do with the Beehive State whose minions pay Reyes’ salary? Well, it’s hard—if not im possible—to explain.

This time around, our Zorro teamed up with 10 other redstate attorneys general to plead in court filings that Trump could not be investigated by the Biden administration for absconding with 11,000 highly sensitive documents because … well, that gets hard to explain, too.

Some critics say that Reyes is simply feathering his MAGA nest for an eventual run for the U.S. Senate seat now held by Mitt Romney. Word is that Zorro has the blessing of someone who GOP lawmakers call the “Orange Jesus.” Just imagine, Utah could have Mike Lee and Sean Reyes as its senators.

If that doesn’t give you gas, then you must be another sat isfied Latter-day Republican. By the by, where was Mike Lee on Jan. 6?

Poop for Brains

Sen. Ron Johnson—that zany Republican from Wisconsin— is not exactly known for his insight. After the Jan. 6 attack on the Capitol, he said, “This didn’t seem like an armed in surrection to me.” He has called Social Security a “Ponzi scheme.” And he said this at a GOP gathering: “I don’t know about you guys, but I think climate change is—as Lord Monckton said—bullshit.”

And so, last week, folks from NextGen PAC and MoveOn paraded a life-size statue of Ron-John around Milwaukee. The 6-foot, 80-pound likeness was sculpted out of—you guessed it—bullshit.

The staff here at Smart Bomb knows a good thing when they see it. The Republican running for Salt Lake County Clerk, Goud Maragani, said Democrats stole the 2020 elec

tion. If he wins, Maragani would oversee elections in the county. So, the Smart Bomb staff will install a giant Jewish Italian satellite detector on his roof to keep voting fair.

Utah’s answer to Western star and singer Roy Rogers, Rep. Chris Stewart, said the FBI is not treating Trump fairly re garding the document search at Mar-a-Lago. “The law pro tects everyone in America … Well, maybe that’s no longer true.” Right. So, the staff will erect a life-size replica of Trig ger on Stewart’s lawn so he can ride to the rescue. And yes, it’ll be made of horseshit.

Postscript—Well, that’ll just about do it for another zany week here at Smart Bomb, where we keep track of Georgia peach Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, so you don’t have to. “I am not going to mince words with you all,” the congress woman said at Donald Trump’s Saturday rally in Michigan.

“Democrats want Republicans dead, and they have already started the killings.”

Wonder why her husband filed for divorce? How would you like to wake up next to Marjorie Taylor Greene?

Don’t answer that.

Death is the theme du jour for the GOP. On his Truth So cial platform, Trump said that Sen. Mitch McConnell had a “death wish” for voting with Dems to keep the government open, prompting The Wall Street Journal editorial board to say that it was easy to imagine “some fanatic taking Mr. Trump seriously and literally attempting to kill Mr. McConnell.”

The Orange Jesus is full of tough talk lately, telling con servative radio host Hugh Hewitt there would be hell to pay if he is indicted for purloining highly classified documents to Mar-a-Lago: “I think if it happened, you’d have problems in this country the likes of which perhaps we’ve never seen before. I don’t think the people of the United States would stand for it.” Stand by, Proud Boys, Oath Keepers and Three Percenters, the revolution ain’t over. CW

Private Eye is off this week. Christopher Smart’s Smart Bomb column is a regular feature at cityweekly.net. Send feedback to comments@cityweekly.net .

HITS&MISSES

BY KATHARINE BIELE @kathybiele

HIT: Mistakes Were Made

Even while the Utah inland port is be ing built out, you can still see yard signs that scream “Repeal the Port.” Is that even possible given the money and political capital already invested? Port opponents have kept up the drumbeat and have been serendipitously helped by two recent state audits of the port administration’s unilateral decisionmaking. Among the most vocal op ponents is the Utah Physicians for a Healthy Environment. Most recently, a white paper by a Berkeley professor was scathing in its assessment of the port, calling it fatally flawed. In other words, “it simply does not fit the needs of the Trans-Pacific supply chain.” That, along with the two audits, calls for more transparency in what and how they spend money. The port has a new director who promises to do better, but they never have yet. Public pressure is mounting and if repealing doesn’t work, maybe rethinking will.

MISS: Trickle Down

As Utah finishes another water year without water, lawmakers continue to push for pipelines and deeper wells believing that stop-gap measures can solve the problem of overuse and ne glect. The state is about to experience its 34th driest year since 1895, with res ervoirs at less than half capacity and more than half the state under extreme or exceptional drought conditions, the Deseret News reports. The Guardian has been running a series on the threat to water, encouraging something close to mandated conservation. Utah is being “loved to death” with tourism, popula tion growth and curiously cheap fees for water. “It could take years to re cover what has been lost in the drought if it happens at all,” the News wrote. Utahns have cut back, but clearly it’s not enough. And crazy as it seems, the state is looking to increase tourism.

MISS: Too Many Secrets

The public probably doesn’t notice how hard it is to get a “public” record, but laws, fees and simple ignorance have made it like a Dan Brown novel in search of the Da Vinci code. The Salt Lake Tribune and other media outlets have long been transparency’s only hope. A recent controversy arose when Trib chairman Paul Huntsman hired an outside firm to parse public records. Now, in an apparent acknowledgement of the near-insurmountable tasks, law yers from five Utah law firms are donat ing their time “to help reporters appeal records request denials—and get infor mation that should be public under the law,” the Trib reports. It can only help as government agencies “drag their feet” and records disputes increase. But while governments persist in hid ing facts from the public they serve, it might be better to look at changing the laws and taking offenders to court.

ON THE STREET WITH BRYANT HEATH @slsees

“Hi, I’m Bryant Heath. If you live in Salt Lake City, I’ve run by your house!” While this line has had mixed success as an icebreaker, it’s true. In 2020, amid pandemic lockdowns, earthquakes and murder hornets, I ran every single street in this city.

The project took me through nooks and crannies of each neighborhood—from the highest elevations of the East Bench to the westernmost points of Glendale. I came to notice, enjoy and appreciate all of the quirky things that make our city great.

But I didn’t stop there. My interest in urban exploration developed into a full-fledged obsession as I continued to trek the streets of the neighboring cities of Millcreek, Holladay, South Salt Lake and—currently in progress—West Valley City. In fact, you can see everywhere I’ve been on the etch-asketch-looking map above. Curiosity has taken me a long way (3,403 streets and over 2,150 miles and counting) and there is still way more to our “Small Lake City” than you can even imagine.

Every week in this new column, I’ll share highlights from my runs—things you might be surprised to learn are in our city and things you’ve passed by thousands of times but may have never really seen. I’m looking forward to sharing some of the peculiar, offbeat and unusual sights from around Salt Lake that I’ve come across.

I imagine City Weekly readers will occasion ally recognize the subjects of some of the photos featured here, but equally so, I am willing to bet that you’ll be surprised by what could be just a block or two away.

Together, we’ll discover that Salt Lake is full of wonderful sights if we can only stop—or run slowly past—to take a look.

Below, the colorful dumpsters of Glendale Middle School, near 1430 Andrew Ave.

Wasatch Theatre Co.: The Laramie Project

Nearly 25 years removed from the murder of gay teen Matthew Shepard in Laramie, Wyo., it’s clear that threats to LGBTQ+ people aren’t simply something in our historical rearview mirror. In planning The Laramie Project as Wasatch Theatre Company’s 25th-anniversary season opener, direc tor Jim Martin acknowledges that it’s related to that ongoing danger, and the need to remember these horrors of the past: “Some of the cast mem bers were not even born when Matthew Shepard was murdered. We as a diverse community must keep the issues that surfaced in 1998 at the fore front as our nation undergoes its own reckoning with rising hate crimes. … This play is a very important production at this particular time in history.”

The Laramie Project was born out of the efforts by Tectonic Theater Project, under director Moisés Kaufman, to visit Laramie in 1998 and collect interviews of locals in the wake of Shephard’s murder, to discover the perceptions in that community regarding what happened, and why. Wasatch Theatre Company provides a spin by casting demographically diverse actors who don’t necessarily represent the demographics of 1990s Wyoming, in addition to giving the production a local flavor through the use of music by Utah musician Ben Brinton, and a backdrop including photographs by Logan-based photographer Lucas Bybee.

Wasatch Theatre Company’s production of The Laramie Project runs Oct. 6 – 15 at the MidValley Performing Arts Center (2525 Taylorsville Blvd.) in Taylorsville, with performances Thursday – Saturday. Tickets are $25; masks are recommended but not required. Visit arttix. org for tickets, specific showtimes and additional event information. (Scott Renshaw)

JIM MARTIN

Joy Harjo @ Kingsbury Hall

Since 1985, when the role of Poet Laureate Consultant in Poetry to the Library of Congress was officially created, 24 individuals have served in that capacity, including luminaries like Robert Penn Warren, Howard Nemerov and W. S. Merwin. Only three such individuals, however have ever served three one-year terms as Poet Laureate, and only one has been a Native American: Joy Harjo, whose term concluded this year.

A member of the Muscogee Nation of Oklahoma, Harjo was pursuing a career in medi cine when she first enrolled at the University of New Mexico. But her experience as a teenager at the Institute of American Indian Arts, and the influence of her artist great-aunt Lois Harjo Ball, led her to switch her major first to art, and then creative writing. She returned to teach at the Institute of American Indian Arts in the late 1970s and early 1980s, and published her first vol ume of poetry, The Last Song, in 1975. Many honors and awards preceded her 2019 nomination as Poet Laureate, in work exploring colonization and imperialism through the lens of her cultural background. Her new book Catching the Light, from the Yale University Press “Why I Write” series, features reflections on creating poetry as “an expression of purpose, spirit, community and memory.”

Joy Harjo visits Kingsbury Hall (1395 E. Presidents Circle) on Thursday, Oct. 6 at 7 p.m. in conversation with former Utah Poet Laureate Katharine Coles. Tickets are free, but required via online reservation; face masks are requested for all attendees, but not required. Visit kings buryhall.org for tickets and additional event information. (SR)

SHAWN MILLER

the

Jay Pharoah

Jay Pharaoh is a clever guy. A six-season veteran of Saturday Night Live, he’s earned an enviable reputation as an actor, a stand-up comedian and an amazing mimic whose deadon impressions of Barack Obama, Donald Trump, Eddie Murphy, Will Smith, Chris Rock, Jay Z, Denzel Washington and Kanye West have proved strikingly true-to-life. His vocal abilities extend to voice acting as well, cour tesy of his guest appearances on the popular animated series Family Guy, Bojack Horseman, Legends of Chamberlain Heights, Robot Chicken and the upcoming Supermansion

His character Principal Daniel Frye, based on Pharoah’s actual high school principal, provided his initial claim to fame, but he also offers a serious acting side as well, courtesy of his roles in 16 films in the past 10 years alone. With a second stand-up comedy spe cial in the works and a steady string of club and college appearances, he’s a busy man. However, an unfortunate incident involving an encounter with the L.A.P.D. proved to be less than funny when he was detained at gunpoint in the midst of the George Floyd protests and restrained by a cop who kneeled on his neck in the same manner that resulted in Floyd’s mur der by Derek Chauvin. A victim of mistaken identity, he eventually received an apology.

Happily, there’s no mistaking Pharoah’s talent or tenacity.

Utah Opera: The Flying Dutchman

In the world of opera, Richard Wagner is perhaps most famous for his epic “Ring Cycle,” and most infamous for being favored by Adolph Hitler. Yet the composer’s work encompasses a broader scope than might be familiar to most laypeople, including the “romantic operas” of his middle career. And among those is the grand romantic fantasy of 1843’s The Flying Dutchman

The narrative, inspired by a satirical 1833 novel by Heinrich Heine, tells the story of a ghostly mariner cursed to sail forever as the result of blasphemy against God. He tells the merchant seaman Daland of his fate, and of the chance he has every seven years to come ashore and seek a true love, which would break the curse. When Daland learns of the gold the Dutchman possesses, he offers his own daughter, Senta, as a possible match— and Senta, already aware of the Dutchman legend, believes she could be the one to save him. But Senta’s history with a former love might mean that the Dutchman will not be so easily saved. Veteran baritone Michael Chilodi takes on the role of the Dutchman for Utah Opera, with Metropolitan Opera regular Wendy Bryn Harmer as Senta.

Utah Opera’s production of The Flying Dutchman comes to the Janet Quinney

Catch Pharaoh this week at Wiseguys Comedy’s Gateway location (194 S. 400 West on Friday, Oct. 7 and Saturday, Oct. 8 at 7 p.m. and 9:30 p.m. each night. Tickets are $30; visit wiseguyscomedy.com for tick ets and additional event information. (Lee Zimmerman)

Lawson Capitol Theatre (50 W. 200 South) for five performances, in German with English supertitles: Oct. 8 & 14, 7:30 p.m.; Oct. 10 & 12, 7 p.m.; and Oct. 16, 2 p.m. Tickets range from $15 - $110; visit utahopera.org to pur chase tickets and for additional event informa tion. (SR)

COURTESY

Spook Up

A random roundup of Halloween season fun

BY SCOTT RENSHAW scottr@cityweekly.net @scottrenshaw

Whether it’s the candy, the costumes or the scares, Utahns love their Halloween, getting into a spooky spirit earlier and earlier each year. How ever you like to celebrate, there’s almost certainly an event or entertainment that’s right for you. Here’s just a handful of ways you can put Halloween on your A&E calen dar.

Theater: As we noted in our feature a couple of weeks ago, Odyssey Dance’s Thriller is all-but-sold out for its farewell run—but there are other ways to enjoy chills and chuckles in a theater seat. The Off Broadway Theater (12366 S. 900 East, Draper, theobt.org) presents some of your favorite monsters singing a revue of classic hits in Forever Dead , running through Oct. 29. The merry band at Desert Star Play house (4861 S. State, Murray, desertstar. biz) tells the story of a neighborhood try ing to figure out why everything has gone to the bats in Dracula: He Loved in Vein , through Nov. 5. Salty Dinner Theater (vari ous Wasatch Front locations, saltydinner theater.com) invites you to solve a real-life mystery involving a legendary writer of the macabre with The Mysterious Death of Edgar Allan Poe, running through Nov. 1.

The annual tradition of Deep Love: A Ghostly Rock Opera brings its story of love from beyond the grave to the Mid-Valley Performing Arts Center (2525 Taylorsville Blvd., Taylorsville), Oct. 22-23 The Hive Collaborative (290 W. 600 South, Provo,

thehivecollaborative.com) serves up a Spectral Soirée, a Roaring ’20s-themed murder-mystery theater experience that adds haunted house elements. And if you want to carry the Halloween spirit into November, Plan-B Theatre Company intro duces local playwright Morag Shepherd’s My Brother Was a Vampire, which turns the lore of the blood-sucking undead into a dark, dysfunctional-family comedy.

Family-Friendly: It wouldn’t be Utah without a wide range of options for the Hal loween season that appeal to both adults and kids. Gardner Village (1100 W. 7800 South, West Jordan, gardnervillage.com) presents its WitchFest 2022 through Oct. 31, with activities including photo oppor tunities, a witchy scavenger hunt, “Witch es Night Out” shopping and dining expe riences, the Ricochet Canyon Amusement Park with themed attractions and more. Millcreek Gardens (3500 S. 900 East, mill creekgardens.com) presents its Festival Transylvania Oct. 13 – 29, including a walkthrough story experience without the gore and shocks of the big haunted houses.

Loveland Living Planet Aquarium (12033 S. Lone Peak Parkway, Draper, theliving planet.com) turns weekend evenings into “Halloween on the High Seas,” including a vintage seaside carnival, “scare zone,” dance party and the new pumpkin smash er, plus a cosplay contest on Oct. 28 and trick-or-treating Oct. 27 – 31. Thanksgiving Point’s Ashton Gardens (3900 N. Garden Dr., Lehi, thanksgivingpoint.org) hosts its Scarecrow Festival Oct. 10 – 15, with col orful scarecrow creations throughout the 50-acre gardens. Utah’s Hogle Zoo (2600 Sunnyside Ave., hoglezoo.org) opens up at night for its “Boo Lights” experience of Halloween-themed lighting displays. All that, and too many corn mazes and local fall parties to count.

Film: Many of your favorite scary mov ies are going to be available on big screens near you. The Salt Lake Film Society’s

Tower Theatre is still undergoing renova tions, but the annual “Tower of Terror” programming moves to the Broadway (111 E. 300 South, slfs.org) throughout October, with classics like Halloween , Suspiria , The Exorcist, The Shining, The Thing and more. Salt Lake County Library’s Viridian Events Center (8030 S. 1825 West, West Jordan, sl colibrary.org) brings more classics for free screenings on Mondays and Thursdays in October at 7 p.m., including It, Carrie and The Sixth Sense. At Abravanel Hall (123 W. South Temple, utahsymphony.org), the Utah Symphony’s “Films in Concert” series presents Harry Potter and the Deathly Hal lows – Part 1, Oct. 27 - 29

Miscellania: Get a taste for the way lo cal artists interpret themes of the uncanny at Urban Arts Gallery’s (116 S. Rio Grande St., urbanartsgallery.org) A Dream Within a Dream , a group exhibition on the theme of the thin boundary between the known and unknown worlds, featuring Desarae Lee, Vincent Mattina, Grant Fuhst, Mary Eliza beth Jenkin, Faris Alawi and more. Get a taste of the pagan origins of Halloween at

the Hibernian Society of Utah’s Sawain cel ebration at The Gateway (18 N. Rio Grande) on Oct. 8, free to the public.

Haunted Houses: Oh yeah, there’s also the intense scary-season experience of Utah’s many amazing professional haunt ed houses, filled with chills, thrills and things that go bump in the night. Night mare on 13th (320 W. 1300 South, night mareon13th.com), Fear Factory (666 W. 800 South, fearfactoryslc.com), Castle of Chaos (7980 S. State, Midvale, castleof chaos.com) and Asylum 49 (140 E. 200 South, Tooele, asylum49.com) are among the higher-profile showcases of ghouls and shocks, often with varying levels of “contact” experience based on guest pref erence, and it seems like there are new offerings every year. We all like to experi ence Halloween in different ways; you’re bound to find some way that hits the right scary sweet spot for you.

CW

Deep Love

Halloween Haunts

Utah chronicles of the uncanny

BY WES LONG | COMMENTS@CITYWEEKLY.NET

travel, memory-possessed,

where my tremulous being found

largest, best.

This October marks the 160th anniversary of the establishment of Camp—later Fort—Douglas here in Salt Lake City. The Civil War-era post has filled many roles over its history, from a military garrison to university housing.

While citizens and visitors recognize Fort Douglas for a variety of reasons, one of its more intriguing claims to fame is its reputation as a hot spot for paranormal activity.

“I came here with an open mind,” recalled Beau Burgess, the director and curator of the Fort Douglas Military Museum (32 Potter St., SLC, 801-581-1251). “I’ve worked at other historical sites that are said to be haunted, so I wasn’t a stranger to this kind of [atmosphere].”

Having heard stories of ghost sightings from colleagues upon his arrival a decade ago, Burgess has since garnered many experiences that fall outside of the easily explainable. Often the first person in the building or the last to leave, he has reported hearing the mys terious tread of boots upon the floor and the slamming of doors long after the museum has emptied.

Burgess recounted witnessing a paranormal investigation in the museum, during which an audio recording was made. Hoping to catch voices from the static with the use of a word-generating device—which practitioners believe may be useful for spirits to com municate—investigators recorded what seemed to be a voice speaking in German.

The recording subsequently took on greater resonance when it was discovered that not only did Fort Douglas serve as a prisoner-of-war camp for German soldiers during both world wars, but that the specific building in which the recording was made had once been a hospital for those POWs.

“Some parts of history,” Burgess said, “we’ll never know.”

In his role at the free museum—which is open Tuesday through Saturday from noon to 5 p.m.—he has encountered thrill-seekers, skeptics and believers alike. And they, in turn, have come to him with their own share of strange, chilling, even miraculous, accounts.

Museum visitors have described a sensation like forgiveness from an unknown party, Burgess said, or have found themselves remembering their forgotten dead with a sense of spiritual urgency.

He stressed that he does not go looking for ghostly encounters but rather allows such events to materialize in their own time, which he said is “part of the fun.”

“If it happens,” Burgess said, “it happens naturally.”

In this season of pumpkins and ghouls, when many go seeking the sublime through avenues of revulsion and fright, there are many tales that can be told from sites around the Salt Lake Valley. Some of these tales are creepy, others mysterious and some—with enough of the mist cleared away—reveal dimensions of great beauty.

Proceed if you dare, and happy Halloween!

A Specter in City Creek?

Many Salt Lakers have heard tales of ghosts haunting the upper floors of the Salt Lake City & County Building or of the “Purple Lady” at the Rio Grande Depot. But fewer are likely aware of the spooky goings-on near City Creek that first came to public notice at the turn of the 20th century.

In August of 1900, The Salt Lake Tribune ran a curious piece on a mysterious woman

who reportedly stalked the area of Canyon Road and Third Avenue. Routinely appearing between 1 a.m. and 3 a.m., a tall dark-haired woman in white with lucent, ebony eyes could be seen gliding in and out of the trees along the path, occasionally leaping from a bridge into the creek bed below.

The uncredited writer of the Tribune ’s piece maintained a snarky tone of detachment in describing the sightings of this woman, floating the idea that she was likely a sleepwalker. But pedestrians would apparently try to speak to her, to no avail.

The Tribune ’s arch humor notwithstanding, even the news reporter didn’t know what to make of this wandering wraith, concluding with a tantalizing bit of reportage: “the ap parition moves about without making the least sound and when spoken to never replies, but rapidly disappears.”

The Tribune followed up in December of that year, believing they had discovered the identity of the ghost in the form of a local woman thought to be mentally ill. Their tenta tive tone and the paucity of further mentions of the specter’s “nocturnal ramblings” ulti mately leaves the saga lost to time.

The Cursed Cottage

Some properties just seem to attract tragedy no matter how many times they exchange ownership. The scythe of the dread reaper comes for all, but in the case of one old cottage in the Avenues, it seems to have found an express route.

Such misfortunes as accident, illness, destitution and suicide vexed the home’s various owners, as described in two reports by The Tribune from 1904 and 1905. “The house has proved a hoodoo to any and all occupants for years,” Tribune writers declared.

Formerly standing on the northwest corner of Third Avenue and J Street—where a hand some private residence stands today—and on property that reportedly once belonged to Brigham Young, the house was sold to local jeweler Oolaf Eliasson (1836-1920) in 1857. His wife Ingar Andersson (1838-1893) died there during the family’s occupancy and their son Oscar (1869-1899)—who found acclaim as the illusionist/magician “Dante the Great”— would meet a tragic end from an accidental shooting in Australia.

A married couple by the name of Mickle took over the place after the Eliassons left, before the husband died in a railroad accident and the wife was taken by a gas explosion. One subsequent owner was deserted in poverty and took their own life while another suc cumbed to the effects of consumption.

By the time of the Tribune ’s coverage, another owner by the name of Frank C. Gattung (1861-1904) had fallen from a ladder and was to pass away from his injuries.

“Perhaps there have been unknown things enacted even as unfortunate as [the events recorded above],” the Tribune mused, “Who knows?”

My spirit will not haunt the mound

my breast,

Ghostly Theatrics

Considered a jewel in Salt Lake City’s theatrical crown, the Capitol Theatre (50 W. 200 South, SLC, 801355-2787, saltlakecountyarts.org) has hosted stage and film entertainment since its opening in 1913. But its reputation for eldritch encounters enjoys a similar ly lustrous reputation among those in the know. Staff and security for the building have been particularly vocal over the years about the odd happenings within.

Dave Murphy—formerly a deputy with the Salt Lake County Sheriff’s Office—had been skeptical about re ports of hauntings at the theater until he started doing security for the building in the 2010s. During his time there, he reported seeing mysterious figures pass him in the dark and doors slamming by themselves.

“I’d heard stories,” Murphy told The Salt Lake Tri bune in 2012, “but until it happens to you, there is that disbelief. As soon as it happens to you, there’s a com plete shift of attitude.”

In 1999, the Deseret News recounted the story of an other security guard who would pass the time on his shifts by launching paper airplanes from a theater balcony. Then one night, “as he sat in the guard booth alone, he was hit on the back of the head with a paper airplane out of nowhere,” the News reported.

In such an environment, one would be justifiably unnerved. But not all who report these sorts of en counters remain repelled by them. Blair Fuller—another Capitol Theatre employee interviewed by the Tribune about his brushes with the paranormal— reckoned that whatever ghostly figures dwell in the historic building may not be as sinister as one might initially suspect.

“In my experience,” Fuller related, “it’s almost like a teenager trying to get some attention. And once you acknowledge that, it stops. But it took me an hourand-a-half to get to that point.”

Happy Hauntings

Others have approached supernatural phenomena with an even greater degree of equanimity. Gundi Jones and her family have occupied Hawarden House (4396 S. 3200 West, West Valley City) since 1992, and they feel far more protected than menaced by the ghosts that are believed to inhabit the historic abode.

Originally a 10-acre farm belonging to the extensive family of agricultural entrepreneur Ira Bennion (18641929), the house was built in 1906 and was the site of many weddings as well as funerals.

“A lot of life happened here,” observed Jones.

As far as she’s concerned, the Bennions are still com ing and going as they please. “Why wouldn’t the people who put so much into this home and their community still be interested in it?” Jones asked.

Jones’ son Jeromy grew up in Hawarden House, and he affirmed that he has so far seen Ira Bennion three times throughout his life. Shortly after the Jones family moved into the house, he recounted, he was in his bed and saw Bennion watching him from outside his door.

Another sighting was during the holidays, when Je romy observed Ira sitting in their living room as he was getting ready to leave for school. Later, as an adult, Je romy reported that he last saw Ira sitting upon his bed.

Like his mother, Jeromy Jones is not bothered by the occasional houseguests. “It’s life,” he shrugged.

Sightings of unknown people and wayward shadows have continued through the years, as have the doors that open and faucets that turn themselves on and off. But Gun di Jones accepts the occurrences as happy interactions.

“There are so many things that we don’t know,” she said, “I don’t care what people think about what we feel or what we experience or see. They have a right to that opinion.”

But as for her? “I believe in peaceful coexistence,” she concluded.

Life Largest, Best

Fiona Robinson-Hill is an historian at the Fort Douglas Military Museum, and she is no stranger to mysterious experiences herself. Often guiding special cemetery tours, the museum’s next such event will be on Oct. 29 from 1 p.m. to 5 p.m.

Robinson-Hill has taken part in many investigations and is of the mind that while the paranormal is, by its na ture, outside of our customary definitions of “normal,” we need not remain afraid of them. People ought to pay attention to when they do or do not feel safe, she stressed, but there is also much that starts out to be unfamiliar and grows into a richer and more profound experience.

“It’s not just happening in your house,” Robinson-Hill specified, “It’s happening all around. It’s happening in the City & County Building; it’s happening at the McCune Mansion. It’s not just you, it’s all of us. You don’t need to be scared of it. The more you learn about it, the more you experience it, the more comfortable you can be with [it].”

Edgar Allan Poe wrote in The Premature Burial that “The boundaries which divide Life from Death are at best shadowy and vague. Who shall say where the one ends, and where the other begins?”

The accounts outlined in the vignettes above—as well as many others like them—elude complete and satisfac tory explanation. Are the dead closer at hand than we think? Do some places attract misfortune while others do not? Do buildings and places draw ghosts to them?

We can’t say “yes” or “no” with absolute certainty, but in this yearly autumnal spell of ghosts and graveyards, it may be possible to advance from a state of amused or ter rified spectacle at such notions to one of peace and hope.

For Robinson-Hill, the mystery is not something to be embarrassed about, but rather embraced and explored.

“You don’t have to necessarily believe,” she stated, “but keep an open mind.” CW

The (allegedly haunted) McCune Mansion, at 200 N. Main St.

Since its days as the Orpheum, Utah’s Capitol Theatre is said to house supernatural entities.

The Capitol Theatre, known then as the Orpheum, in 1913

The Fort Douglas Museum, on the University of Utah campus.

Hawarden House in West Valley City

Gundi Jones, current (living) occupant of Hawarden House

Jeromy Jones believes he has seen the ghost of Ira Bennion on three occasions.

UTAH

BURGESS

WIKICOMMONS

COURTESY

PHOTO

COURTESY

PHOTO

WES LONG

Fiery Feast

The heat is on at the 10th annual Utah Firefighters Chili Cook-Off.

BY AIMEE L. COOK comments@cityweekly.net

It’s that time of year again when the weather cools down and food heats up.

And right on time, Utah firefighters are bringing the heat at their 10th annual chili cook-off on Oct. 8.

The annual fundraising event is spon sored by Utah Disaster Kleenup (UDK) and sees teams of firefighters from depart ments across the state slinging their best chili for a great cause.

This year, 19 teams compete for the “best chili” title, with proceeds from the event going to the U.’s Burn Center programs and its burn camp—Camp Nah Nah Mah— which supports the continued healing of burn-injury survivors. Each year, the event attracts hundreds of people and has raised

thousands of dollars for the camp.

Rob Marriott, organizer of the cook-off, is a firefighter of 15 years with the Unified Fire Authority as well as a burn camp counselor for the past decade. Marriott considers the insight he has gained from volunteering as invaluable to doing his job and a way to close the loop after treating victims on-site.

“I see what these camps provide to the survivors, and that’s why Team Sultry Poultry puts in the energy each year,” Mar riott said. “It takes us about three months to pull everything together for the event.”

Marriott said last year’s event raised $30,000. His team’s winning recipe is a chicken cashew chili that has been cooked by firefighters for about 20 years. “We made a total of 34 gallons of chili,” he said.

As reigning champions of the cook-off for the past two years, Team Sultry Poul try will serve their award-winning chicken cashew, quinoa and bison sausage chili in their mock-up of a miniaturized firehouse booth.

Teams get their creative juices flowing when coming up with booth ideas and chili concoctions, serving their concoctions out of everything from mini fire trucks to over size fire hydrants.

Winning teams are named in four awards

categories and bragging rights from the event carry weight. The traveling trophies are as coveted as an Olympic medal when you cook in a firehouse.

Friendly competition lends itself to the awards for People’s Choice, Best Booth, Judges’ Choice—typically celebrity judges from local media—and Most Money Raised. Team Sultry Poultry made a clean sweep last year. Can they do it again?

Burn Camp launched in 1992 as a way to aid emotional healing through engage ment with the outdoors and through com munity building, according to Kristen C. Quinn, psychosocial program coordinator for the Burn Center.

She said the camp’s programs intention ally address the trauma of burn injuries, with the aim of helping people move from a victim to a survivor.

“Participants in the Burn Camp pro grams also learn social skills to manage stares, questions and teasing,” Quinn said. “They problem-solve strategies to address bullying. And, they learn to trust that their physical bodies can do things they stopped believing they could do.”

The programs are free for burn survi vors, Quinn said, thanks to partnerships and fundraising through events like the

chili cook-off.

“Our burn nurses host a 5K [run] in the spring. And our community partners in the lineman community host a golf tourna ment for us,” Quinn said. “We are blessed by other community partners who make generous donations as well. I have found that the relationships formed and enriched through these fundraisers and through getting donors engaged with the programs have been valuable on so many levels.”

The family-friendly chili event also fea tures a raffle with prizes, a bounce house, helicopters, fire trucks, police cars, ambu lances and a DJ.

New this year, a beer garden will fea ture a variety of Moab Brewery’s offerings and their delicious root beer to wash down those bowls of chili.

All beverage sales go to the burn camp programs as well. Donations without a pur chase are also accepted.

When: Saturday, Oct. 8, 11 a.m.-3 p.m. Where: RSL Stadium, America First Field, 9256 S. State, Sandy Prices: $2 cup, $5 bowl

Team Sultry Poultry celebrates their win at a past year’s Utah Firefighters Chili Cook-off

The mock fire station and engine built by Team Sultry Poultry.

Camp Nah Nah Mah supports the continued healing of burn-injury survivors.

Chili cook-off proceeds support the University of Utah Burn Center.

ROB MARRIOTT

ROB

ROB MARRIOTT

I Like Duck Buns and I Cannot Lie

Grab a bowl of duck confit ramen at West Jordan’s One Noodle Bar.

BY ALEX SPRINGER comments@cityweekly.net RF@captainspringer

Fall is officially here, and that can only mean one thing: Soup season, bitches!

I was going to make some crack about how I love soup because I’m getting old, but let’s be real people—soup is universally amazing no matter what age you are. I am merely excited that I can enjoy my soups in a reasonable climate—you know, one that no longer spikes into triple digits. To make soup season official, I decided to visit One Noodle Bar (1793 W. 7800 South, 385-3138448, onbwestjordan.com) in West Jordan. It’s a new ramen and sushi joint that mixes things up ever so slightly with their crispy duck confit and tamaki sushi rolls.

Even when the summer heat makes eat ing ramen an exercise in self-destruction, I haven’t been able to help myself when it comes to ramen bars. I think Utah has al ways had a solid ramen game, but it seems like that foundation has made room for some up and coming restaurants to craft menus that give them a competitive edge. This is where One Noodle Bar—not to be confused with One More Noodle House in South Salt Lake, also excellent—comes in.

For starters, they’re one of the few plac es that incorporates duck into the menu. Duck is a versatile staple in Asian cooking,

and it’s awesome when prepared properly.

A quick stroll down the menu at One Noo dle Bar reveals the Yummy Duck Ramen ($14.50) that is made with crispy duck con fit. When you order up some ramen here, you get to select your broth of choice—I like the spicy tonkotsu , but they also have shoyu and miso broths available.

Duck confit is an excellent complement to a traditional ramen no matter what broth you go with. The added heat from the spicy chilis always hits home for me, but the duck is rich enough to cut through that heat and let you know it’s there. Noodle-wise, this place is as good as you can get, and the fa miliar additions of a boiled egg and scal lions along with fresh corn, spinach and fried garlic are also present for the party. Whether you’re a diehard ramen fan or just trying it out for the first time, the Yummy Duck Ramen isn’t just a clever name.

If you want to double down on duck, the duck buns ($9) are a great way to start—or finish a meal. The soft, steamed dough is among the most heavenly textures you can get as a mere mortal, and the crispy duck gets topped with small slivers of onion and sliced cucumber. Though they are small in stature, the flavor packed within each bite is insane. The cucumber, onion and hoisin sauce impart flavors you might encounter in a tasty banh mi , but that crispy duck con fit once again makes sure you know that it’s the star of the show. Plus, “duck buns” is fun to say. Go ahead. Give it a try.

Even though they are incorrect, I know people who don’t like duck exist. If that profile sounds familiar, One Noodle Bar has plenty of excellent options. Obviously, you can go traditional with the Pork Chashu Ramen ($14) or even the Black Garlic Bomb Ramen ($14.50) for some excellent ramen within familiar territory.

When I’m not craving duck confit, I re ally like their Wonton Ramen ($14.50). I grew up on Campbell’s chicken and dump

ling soup, and this connects with a lot of the same synapses I developed as a kid. The wontons have hung out in the broth for long enough to absorb that delicious flavor and become slippery enough to really test your chopstick skills. The interior of the won ton is made from chicken and pork, and would definitely be able to stand on their own as far as flavor and texture goes. I can see myself not wanting to branch out from the Yummy Duck Ramen whenever I come back, but this is a fun alternative for those who are in the mood for something differ ent.

Like most ramen joints that are worth a visit, One Noodle Bar also has a menu of poke bowls and tamaki , or sushi that is as sembled and presented in a folded piece of nori like unto a tiny taco. Sushi can do no wrong in my book, especially when it joins some ramen at my table, but something about the tamaki variation really lands here. The process of picking up a goodsized tamaki that takes two or three bites to finish off just lands right after polishing off a giant bowl of ramen. It provides a sat isfying feeling of excess while skipping the post-dining regret since all the food is so light and fresh.

I promise this ramen frenzy I am in will eventually die down, but I can’t help but get excited whenever a place like One Noodle Bar opens its doors. We’re in an interesting place with ramen—I’ve started to see ra men restaurants like this one get a bit bold er and deliberate with their menu options, and I am completely on board.

CW

A GLANCE

ALEX

on

TAPonTAP

2 Row Brewing

6856 S. 300 West, Midvale

2RowBrewing.com

Avenues Proper

376 8th Ave, SLC

avenuesproper.com

On Tap: Less- West Coast IPA

Bewilder Brewing

445 S. 400 West, SLC BewilderBrewing.com

On Tap: Gluten Reduced Kolsch

Bohemian Brewery

94 E. Fort Union Blvd, Midvale BohemianBrewery.com

Bonneville Brewery

1641 N. Main, Tooele

BonnevilleBrewery.com

On Tap: Peaches and Cream Ale

Craft by Proper

1053 E. 2100 So., SLC craftbyproper.com

On Tap: Do Less - West Coast IPA

Desert Edge Brewery

273 Trolley Square, SLC DesertEdgeBrewery.com

On Tap: Red Butte Bitter on Nitro

Epic Brewing Co.

825 S. State, SLC EpicBrewing.com

On Tap: Barrel-Aged Imperial Pumpkin Porter

Fisher Brewing Co.

320 W. 800 South, SLC FisherBeer.com

On Tap: Fisher Beer

Grid City Beer Works

333 W. 2100 South, SLC

GridCityBeerWorks.com

On Tap: Extra Pale Ale

Hopkins Brewing Co.

1048 E. 2100 South, SLC HopkinsBrewingCompany.com

On Tap: Old Merchant

Kiitos Brewing

608 W. 700 South, SLC KiitosBrewing.com

Level Crossing Brewing Co.

2496 S. West Temple, South Salt Lake

LevelCrossingBrewing.com

On Tap: Zappa Hops Philly Sour IPA Tuesday Nights = Game Night!

Moab Brewing

686 S. Main, Moab

TheMoabBrewery.com

On Tap: Squeaky Bike Nut Brown

Mountain West Cider

425 N. 400 West, SLC

MountainWestCider.com

On Tap: Sweet Herbed Hard Cider

Offset Bier Co

1755 Bonanza Dr Unit C, Park City

offsetbier.com/

On Tap: DOPO IPA

Ogden River Brewing

358 Park Blvd, Ogden

OgdenRiverBrewing.com

On Tap: Injector Hazy IPA

Policy Kings Brewery

223 N. 100 West, Cedar City

PolicyKingsBrewery.com

Proper Brewing

857 S. Main, SLC

ProperBrewingCo.com

On Tap: East Side Paradise - Rice Lager

Red Rock Brewing

254 So. 200 West

RedRockBrewing.com

On Tap: Bamberg Rauch Bier

Red Rock Fashion Place

6227 So. State

Redrockbrewing.com

On Tap: Dunkelweizen

Red Rock Kimball Junction Redrockbrewing.com

1640 Redstone Center

On Tap: Black Bier

RoHa Brewing Project

30 Kensington Ave, SLC RoHaBrewing.com

On Tap: FRESHIES IPA

Roosters Brewing

Multiple Locations

RoostersBrewingCo.com

On Tap: Cosmic Autumn Rebellion

SaltFire Brewing

2199 S. West Temple, South Salt Lake SaltFireBrewing.com

On Tap: Charlotte Sometimes Blonde Ale

Salt Flats Brewing

2020 Industrial Circle, SLC SaltFlatsBeer.com

On Tap: Oktoberfest Vienna Lager

Scion Cider Bar

916 Jefferson St W, SLC

Scionciderbar.com

On Tap: Original Sin Pineapple Haze 6%

ABV

Shades Brewing

154 W. Utopia Ave, South Salt Lake ShadesBrewing.beer

On Tap: Triple Fruited Sour Slushies

A list of what local

craft breweries and cider houses have on tap this week

Silver Reef 4391 S. Enterprise Drive, St. George StGeorgeBev.com

Squatters

147 W. Broadway, SLC Squatters.com

Strap Tank Brewery

Multiple Locations StrapTankBrewery.com

Springville On Tap: PB Rider, Peanut Butter Stout / Lehi On Tap: 2-Stroke, Vanilla Mocha Porter

Stratford Proper 1588 Stratford Ave., SLC stratfordproper.com

On Tap: Lake Effect Gose

TF Brewing 936 S. 300 West, SLC TFBrewing.com

On Tap: Edel Pils

Talisman Brewing Co. 1258 Gibson Ave, Ogden TalismanBrewingCo.com

On Tap: Czech Pilsner

Uinta Brewing

1722 S. Fremont Drive, SLC UintaBrewing.com

On Tap: Was Angeles Craft Beer

UTOG

2331 Grant Ave, Ogden UTOGBrewing.com

On Tap: Trail Rye’d - Amber Rye Ale 5% abv

Vernal Brewing

55 S. 500 East, Vernal VernalBrewing.com

Wasatch

2110 S. Highland Drive, SLC WasatchBeers.com

Zion Brewery 95 Zion Park Blvd, Springdale ZionBrewery.com

Zolupez

205 W. 29th Street #2, Ogden Zolupez.com

OPENING SOON!

Helper Beer

159 N Main Street Helper, UT 84526

Apex Brewing

2285 S Main Street Salt Lake City, UT 84115

Prodigy Brewing

Logan, UT 84321

Wet Dreams

These wet-hopped ales take freshness to a whole new level

BY MIKE RIEDEL comments@cityweekly.net @utahbeer

In order for a beer to be considered a “wet hop” ale, the hops have to be plucked from the bine and in the wort (unfer mented beer) in under 24 hours. Breweries that are not located in hop country—and Utah is not in hop country—often have to procure overnight deliveries to get these hops into their beers.

Proper Hop vs Hop (Strata/Centen nial): This wet-hopped IPA is super bright with aromas of cut grass, rose petals, grapefruit-led citrus notes, floral hops and bready, rich malt. Grassiness hits the tongue first, followed by a huge flower bouquet, then sharp citrus comes crash ing in on the palate; rose and an awesome, doughy, bready malt base try to keep the hops tethered, though there’s a good, clean hop bite on the finish. This 8.0 percent IPA is full bodied but not chewy at all, and lighter than both the look and taste would lead me to believe. Medium-high carbon ation, clean and mild dryness.

RoHa - Freshies: This Amarillo wet hop is very fresh, crisp and clean, showcasing a flavorful combination of citrus, flowers and herbs. It’s a little more lemony in fla vor than the nose would suggest—lemon peel, red grapefruit and juicy blood or anges. However, it still mostly tastes like it has been brewed with noble hops and has crisp, pilsner-like floral and vegetal characteristics. On the aftertaste, you get some caramel malt and sweet biscuit, but it ends up being hopped up, mildly bitter and clean, with lingering orange peel. It is moderately bodied at 5.0 percent, mouthcoatingly smooth and slippery, and boasts robust carbonation that quenches thirst and makes it eminently drinkable.

Fisher - Oso Fresco: This one boasts 100 pounds of Strata hops. In the glass, the beer has a beautiful orange glow. The Strata hops produce a subtle pineapple aroma, but rather than big tropical fruit juice character, a soft, grassy finish domi nates the pallet. Despite the piney smell, tropical fruits are abundant here, ending on a loud, dry papaya note mixed with herb and day-old biscuit/cracker. There’s a high hop oil presence here as well, with lots of resin. Substantial, oily, dense and slightly creamy at 5.0 ABV, it leaves a coating of oil and dry malt on the finish. A pretty bal anced and solid feel for a pale ale.

Fisher - When the Hops Forget Your Name: This West Coast-style pale ale was hopped with 100 pounds of fresh Amarillo hops. The aroma was very light, with hints of light hops, pine and citrus mixed in, but it was primarily dominated by a faint grainy aroma. A beautiful, light pale ale flavor comes in perfectly balanced; imme diately following the initial surge of hops on the palate, a very smooth and well-bal anced malt flavor took over. The way it all came together so well truly impressed me. It was moderately carbonated and quite sessionable, preventing it from feeling overdone.

TF - Mr. Hand Fresh Hop: Now we get 400 pounds of fresh Amarillio in this draft ale. The barley fragrance is complemented by fig and orange esters, which enhance the nose’s overall richness. The flavor is simi lar; it has firm malt tastes of thin caramel, honey-soaked biscuit, cashews, fig, orange and peach that give off a sweet and fruity undertone, which melds well with the com plex hop flavor. At this point, the drier fruit flavors of orange zest, white grapefruit and citrus pith start to emerge from the sweeter flavors. It seems that the chlorophyll of the moisture-rich hops is significantly contributing to the overall flavor of the beer, as it finishes with the resinous bitterness of aromatic grasses, leaves and stem.

These are not the only wet hop beers to be made locally, and more have undoubt edly hit tap handles since the time of this writing. Get out there and try them now, because this is the only time of the year that these harvest ales will occur. As al ways, cheers!

MIKE RIEDEL

BY ALEX SPRINGER @captainspringer

Rachel Farnsworth Book Signing

Perhaps better known as the “Stay at Home Chef,” Rachel Farnsworth has created an online culinary pres ence that has accrued over 4 million followers. She’ll be visiting the King’s English Bookshop (1511 S. 1500 East, 801-484-9100, kingsenglish.com) for an inperson book signing to promote her new cookbook, The Stay at Home Chef Family Favorites Cookbook. Farnsworth has made a name for herself by teaching others how to make restaurant-quality meals at home, and this cookbook compiles more than 200 recipes that run the gamut from breakfast, lunch and dinner to quick snacks and tasty desserts. Tickets for the event can be purchased on the King’s English website.

Mr. Rice Opens

Salt Lake Chinatown recently welcomed a takeout-only operation called Mr. Rice. Its menu primarily consists of rice bowls featuring crispy pork belly, tofu, curry chicken, salmon and beef. If the dishes look nearly as inviting as the photos online, this could mean big trouble for my wallet. For a bit of variation, Mr. Rice also offers a sushi plate and a lunch box that features a few smaller plates assembled bento-style. It’s also looking like din ers can snag a heaping pile of braised beef ribs if they’re feeling especially peckish. I’ll keep an eye on this one, as takeout-only Asian food is one of my love languages.

Bodega and The Rest Closure

Downtown favorites Bodega and The Rest have announced a temporary closure to make repairs due to a fire that broke out in their building. From the sound of things, the blaze was kept under control, and the closure will ensure that proper cleaning, maintenance and safety adherence can take place. According to the restaurant and cocktail bar’s Instagram page, they have cancelled all reservations through Oct. 31, and are hop ing to reopen on Nov. 1. While we’re glad that this establishment is planning on reopening, it’s a stark reminder to check out every restaurant on your local bucket list. Here’s hoping this team gets back on its feet soon—we’re drastically short on speakeasies as it is.

oldest form of theater is the dinner table.”

the Week:

Tone Policing

Amsterdam’s attempt to mix farce and earnestness results in a baffling failure.

BY SCOTT RENSHAW scottr@cityweekly.net

@scottrenshaw

In general, life is more chaotic than the order imposed on it by cinematic sto ries, but apparently nobody bothered to tell David O. Russell that. Over his nearly30-year career as a writer/director, Rus sell has made mania and tumult an artistic theme, a defining aesthetic and—if one is to believe numerous reports over the years— part of his off-screen behavior. We’ve come to expect tonal craziness in his movies like Flirting With Disaster and Silver Linings Playbook as features rather than bugs, and you either roll with it, or you don’t.

With all that as preface, there’s still something inexplicably off about Amster dam . Using the bare bones of a real-life story, Russell has constructed a mix of con spiracy thriller, slapstick comedy, earnest character drama and political soapbox that feels almost aggressive in its unwillingness to give the audience anything to latch on to. From one scene to the next, it’s impossible to figure out how the hell you should be re acting to anything.

The tale opens in 1933 New York, where Great War veteran Bert Berendsen (Chris tian Bale) is a doctor working on experi mental pain remedies and cosmetic sur geries for his fellow veterans. His old army buddy, attorney Harold Woodman (John David Washington) approaches him about conducting an autopsy requested by Liz Meekins (Taylor Swift), the daughter of their beloved former commanding officer; she suspects foul playin her father’s death. It becomes clear that Bert and Harold are sniffing too close to something unsavory when they’re framed for a murder—and

their attempt to clear their names recon nects them with Valerie (Margot Robbie), the expatriate nurse both men knew after the war while still in Europe.

Before diving head-first into the mystery behind Bert and Harold’s framing, Amster dam flashes back to 1918, introducing us both to the all-Black regiment where they met, and the post-war period where they connected with Valerie. It’s a chance for Russell to set up some awkward prodding at the injustice heaped on Black soldiers who fought for the country that still treat ed them like garbage, while also present ing Valerie as a strange soul who turns the shrapnel she recovers from soldiers’ bodies into art works. It doesn’t take long for Am sterdam to begin its defining tug-of-war: It’s going to deal with matters like racism, the treatment of veterans and the influence exerted by monied interests in America, but it’s going to do so in the kookiest man ner possible.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with an artist serving up the medicine of hard sub jects with a spoonful of sugar, of course; it’s simply that Russell demonstrates no abil ity in Amsterdam to meld those two things rather than have them slam repeatedly into

one another. That dynamic is on display nowhere more clearly than in the radically different performances given by Washing ton and Bale as characters who are almost always sharing the same scenes and situ ations. Washington approaches every mo ment with absolute seriousness, evoking the coiled intensity of an educated, profes sional man perpetually waiting for the next slight based on his color. And Bale seems to have prepared by watching Brad Pitt’s performance in Burn After Reading, turn ing Bert into a dimwit caught up in danger ous matters way over his head, defined by the misadventures befalling his prosthetic eye. Most of the supporting actors—Matth ias Schoenaerts and Alessandro Nivola as the investigating detectives; Rami Malek as a millionaire industrialist; Anya Taylor Joy as Malek’s wife—take their cues from Bale, presenting the impression of a farce, but one with a humor-killing pacing where people seem to be sitting around waiting for something interesting to happen.

It all builds to a finale at a veterans’ re union party, with Robert DeNiro as a gen eral giving what may be a history-changing speech. Russell is clearly reveling in how the historical seed of his story mirrors

certain contemporary events in American politics, and he’s not above stopping the movie dead in its tracks for an interminable denouement where those parallels are un derlined and everything we’ve just seen is repeated back to us. And throughout it all, while people are standing around pontifi cating and monologuing, Bale’s Bert—the oretically the audience surrogate as nar rator—is virtually catatonic. Amsterdam keeps trying to introduce a weird sense of humor into its serious themes, but in a way that’s almost never funny, and far more of ten actively irritating. On behalf of the tone police, it’s hard not to consider making a citizen’s arrest. CW

AMSTERDAM B½ Christian Bale Margot Robbie John David Washington Rated R

Available Oct. 7 in theaters

CENTURY STUDIOS

Christian Bale, Margot Robbie and John David Washington in Amsterdam

Let’s Do the Time Warp Again

Musical events abound as the Halloween season sets in

BY EMILEE ATKINSON eatkinson@cityweekly.net

After a long and hot summer, spooky season finally kicks off as Hallow een events start popping up around town. There isn’t a shortage of fun fall events, but here are a few music-related ones that you may want to plan for as we usher in the creepy season.

Witches Night Out @ The Monarch Oct. 27: Ogden has been undergoing pretty significant changes over the last couple of years. Construction never seems to end in the downtown area, but one positive that’s come out of the congestion is The Monarch on Historic 25th Street. The building got its name from the massive monarch butterfly mural on the upper deck entitled “Monarch in Moda,” and has become a landmark for the historic street. Witches Night out is a free event to attend, with a full night of ac tivities including a Stevie Nicks dance par ty, pole performers, tarot readings, witchy vendors and workshops guests can pay to attend. Starting at 6 p.m., a broom-making class takes place that costs $100 per person with limited availability. Similarly, there will be a class creating pottery pinch pot pumpkins. There are limited spots avail able for the class taught by an instruc tor from Curly Tail Studio. Sign up for the broom making and pottery classes before the event at themonarchogden.com, and be sure to wear your best witchy attire to this spooky gathering.

Get Freaky @ The Saltair Oct. 29, 29, 30: Dancers will flock to one of the biggest musical Halloween events at the end of

October as the historic Saltair transforms into a mecca for lovers of EDM. The massive event takes place over three days, and for the first time since the event’s inception, the weekend will go through Sunday night in addition to Friday and Saturday. Among dozens of musical guests slated to perform are headliners Ganja White Night, The Glitch Mob and Zeds Dead. Get Freaky is a chance for people to cut loose and dance to their hearts’ content. Because of the size of this show, it’s a good idea to check out the FAQ page on Saltair’s website so you have all of the information needed before go ing in, including ticket pricing, what time to arrive, where to park, what you are and are not able to bring inside the venue, and much more. Basic details for the event are that it’s an 18+ show, and the pricing is $65$250. Get Freaky goes from 7 p.m. to 2 a.m. on Friday and Saturday and 6 p.m. to 1 a.m. on Sunday. Tickets and all other necessary information can be found at thesaltair. com.

The Rocky Horror Picture Show @ Peery’s Egyptian Theater, Ogden Oct. 28, 29, 30: It’s impossible to celebrate Hal loween without one of the most beloved cult classic movies of all time. Creeping up on the film’s 50th anniversary, fans flock each year in droves to see this classic on the big screen. Raucous movie goers fill the histori cal and gorgeous theater ready with their bags of props, using them at the right mo ments during the film. The costumes are on point, and everyone gets on their feet to do the Time Warp once more. The annual Hal loween bash at Peery’s Egyptian in Ogden begins at 5:30 p.m. with a pre-show party with food and drinks. The screening will begin later at 7 p.m. Tickets for the party and the screening of the movie including props are $35, and tickets for the movie and props only are $15. Don’t miss your chance to see a stage full of Frank N. Furters, Ed dies and Riff Raffs. Costumes are of course encouraged for the event. Tickets can be purchased at ogdenpet.com.

Halloween Extravaganza with The Plas tic Cherries, Dad Bod, Casio Ghost, DJ Rockin’ Robin @ Urban Lounge Oct. 28: This spooky rock show in Salt Lake will be perfect if you’re looking to rock out with some local favorites. The headliners have dubbed the event, “The Plastic Cherries’ Very Cherry Halloween Extravaganza.” The group has had a very busy year, from debuting their first al bum as a duo, to becoming a full band, to re leasing a new single, “Lovers on the Run,” as a fully formed band. Their reverb-soaked nos talgia-inducing tunes will put a spell on you, but their fans will make the show truly beau tiful to behold; The Plastic Cherries “Moon Unit” are the loyal fanbase who show up to the concerts in support of the band in enthusias tic and wacky costumes. The Moon Unit goes all-out for shows on regular days, so they’re sure to be out in full force for this Halloween Extravaganza. Catch these SLC favorites for a fun night on Friday, Oct. 28 at 7 p.m. Tickets for the 21+ show are $10 and can be found at theurbanloungeslc.com. CW

RHPS IAN WHITE

MUSIC PICKS

By Emilee Atkinson

Psychedelic Porn Crumpets, Acid Dad @ Urban Lounge 10/7

For the first time in two long years, the Psychedelic Porn Crumpets are heading on a North American tour, with SLC on their list of cities. Even though the band has been unable to tour, they’ve kept busy with two album releases in that time. Their latest, Night Gnomes, is the fifth studio album for the Australian psychedelic rock band. Formed in 2014, the band started jamming together in an old barn, creating music they describe as “an energetic mess of color and tone.” Not the first band with an offkilter name, the Psychedelic Porn Crumpets haven’t offered much explanation for it other than the fact that it’s amusing, which it certainly is. Psychedelic Porn Crumpets joins up with Acid Dad for this extensive tour. Acid Dad has a new single out entitled “Get Me High,” a song that takes listeners on a journey of trying to get back on track after a loss. The band takes the term inde pendent to new heights; along with releas ing their music independently, they’ve also built their own guitars as well as a studio to record their music. Sadly, their studio was lost in a flood in 2021 during Hurricane Ida, which ended up being the main catalyst for writing their latest single. “Since our studio was destroyed by the Hurricane Ida floods, our music has been heavily influenced by the nature of water,” the band told GratefulWeb in September. Catch these two acts on Friday, Oct. 7 at Urban Lounge. Doors for the 21+ show open at 7 p.m. Tickets are $18 before the show, and $22 the day of. Find tickets at theurbanloungeslc.com. (Emilee Atkinson)

Melt-Banana, Wand @ The Beehive 10/8

For about three decades, Melt-Banana have been creating their unique form of rock and roll, with 10 studio albums that fans across the world have been able to enjoy. The Japanese duo formed in 1993, and haven’t slowed down. They’ve been described as noise rock, grindcore, no wave, but accord ing to Melt-Banana, it’s best to listen to their music and see for yourself. Throughout the summer, the duo has been touring Europe, but as the fall sets in, they’re embarking on a fall tour entitled, re:boot tour USA 2022. While the band hasn’t put out any brandnew music since about 2013, there’s still that 30-year catalog available to entertain the masses. Joining Melt-Banana are L.A.based psychedelic rock band Wand, with a new album releasing late October called Spiders in the Rain. So far, two singles from the new album have been released, offering listeners a taste of their new work. Their previous albums have been fraught with dismal subject matter, but there’s been a lot happening in the world that fits that aesthetic. Their 2017 album Plum dealt with death, breakups and the shock of the 2016 election. “It really helped to have all of us together, because in the end, when all this shit was going down, we were kind of all that we had,” singer Cory Hanson told Stereogum in September 2017 when the album was released. Melt-Banana and Wand plays The Beehive on Saturday, Oct. 8 at 7 p.m. Tickets for the all-ages show are $20 in advance and $25 the day of the show and can be found at 24tix.com (EA)

Psychedelic Porn Crumpets

MUSIC PICKS

By Emilee Atkinson

Skip Marley

Skip Marley @ Soundwell 10/9

Beloved reggae artist Skip Marley visits SLC as part of his North American fall tour. Though wellknown as the grandson of reggae pioneer Bob Marley, 26-year-old Skip has made a name for himself in the genre as a talented young artist, steadily releasing music since 2016 including two new singles in 2022. His latest, “Jane,” is an infectious end-of-summer song featuring afropop artist Arya Starr. According to American Songwriter, the track is deeply connected to nature. “I’m speaking of the planet but you can apply it to a woman. There’s that perfectness and natural ness,” Marley said in August. His other single from earlier this year, “Change,” is a little deeper, calling listeners to change their mindset about society. “It comes from looking around in this world and changing our lives,” he said in the same article. “It can be little. It can be small, but I’m talking about the whole world, humanity in general needs a change in the road we’re on now. How much longer can we live this way with the footprint we’ve left, the way we treat the earth.”

The single has also been used to spread the message of Marley’s philanthropic work with the World Wildlife Fund and International Anti-Poaching Fund, helping to spread awareness of animal poaching and exploitation. Skip Marley will be at Soundwell on Sunday, Oct. 9. Tickets for the all-ages show are $20 and can be found at soundwellslc.com.

(EA)

Blood Red Shoes, Mz Neon, 26fix @ Kilby Court 10/11

British rock duo Blood Red Shoes have been busy this year; from their personal endeavors on separate continents, to their sixth full-length album released in January, Laura-Mary Carter and Steven Ansell know how to keep the creative juices flowing. Because of the pandemic, the duo had to find other outlets besides music to sink their teeth into. Carter started a podcast called Never Meet Your Idols, while Ansell began writing and producing for musical artists. Eventually, the two came back together to record Ghosts on Tape once the world calmed down a bit from the pandem ic. “This album is really about us asserting ourselves as our own little island,” Ansell told Original Atlanta this month. “We have made an entire career out of being told what we are ‘not’, of being rejected, of not fitting in, and this album is us deliberately pushing into all of our strangeness, empha sizing all of the things that make us differ ent.” Multimedia artist Mz Neon joins the duo in Salt Lake, bringing her trans femme sexuality to an already alluring show. Mz Neon doesn’t hold back with tracks like “Pussy Stick,” “Cop Fucker,” and “Alpha Bitch.” Opener and SLC artist 26fix has been releasing singles as a build up to a new album next year. Catch this intriguing show on Tuesday, Oct. 11 at 7 p.m. Tickets for the all-ages show are $18 in advance and $20 the day of the show. Grab tickets at kilbycourt.com. (EA)

Featured AlbumFeatured Album

MUSIC PICKS

By Emilee Atkinson

Patrick Watson, Book on Tape Worm @ Commonwealth Room 10/12

Inspiration for new music comes from every where; lately a lot of that inspiration comes from the pandemic and being stuck in one place for a long time. Patrick Watson’s latest album Better in the Shade draws inspiration from a few places, especially with the track “Height of the Feeling.” The new music video reflects how jarring it is to return to social activities as restrictions from the pandemic lift, according to Watson. “It was a perfect and hilarious choreography. The two parts of the video represent the playfulness and intimacy we had all been lacking. Like the video, the song has two polarizing read ings: It is whimsical yet also speaks to the dark insecurity of losing love,” Watson told Live4Ever this month. In addition to the pan demic fueling Watson’s creativity, he also drew from books that impacted him, including Jesus’ Son by Denis Johnson, The Waves by Virginia Woolf, and Fever Dream by Samanta Schweblin. Joining Watson are Book on Tape Worm, a chamber pop band from Provo.

According to the band’s website, “Their sound combines cinematic arrangements with lyrical narratives to create a soundtrack for both the familiar and the fantastical. Mixing sweetness and grandeur, their songs explore the nature of time, loss, and the ghosts (both living and not) that haunt our closest relationships.” These two artists will play well off each other on Monday, Oct. 12 at 7 p.m. Tickets for the 21+ up show are $31-$45 and can be found at thestateroompresents.com.

(EA)

NICOLA D_ORTA

Patrick Watson

weekly

What are Terpenes?

Cole Fullmer – Publisher at Salt Baked City

SALT BAKED CITY – Last week we put to bed the old sativa, indica, and hybrid myth. Now,

becoming a true Utah

Terpenes are compounds found in fruit, herbs, and cannabis. They are responsible for that unique cannabis aroma you smell while at a local concert. Skunk, citrus, pine, and even gasoline can permeate from these potent flowers in the same way wine grapes produce flavor from where they were grown.

Fragrant oils are secreted in the resin glands of cannabis flowers which are called Trichomes. This is where THC, CBD, and other cannabinoids are produced. This suggests that terpenes might work in harmony with other cannabis compounds in a phenomenon called the Entourage Effect.

The Entourage Effect happens when different cannabinoid compounds, like terpenes, THC, and CBD dance together to create a more powerful effect than they would on their own. In order to provide effects to consumers, terpenes and cannabinoids bind to receptors in the brain called the Endocannabinoid System. Potential terpene effects may change depending on what other compounds are present. So far, over 100 individual terpenes have been identified from cannabis plants—all developed as protection from predators and to attract pollinators. Researchers believe each individual terpene may produce its own unique set of physiological effects, such as enhanced relaxation, mood elevation, sedation, or sharpened focus. Here are some of the most common terpenes found In Utah’s medical cannabis: Myrcene: a musky, couch lock-inducing, citrus-scented terpene that may produce relaxation, and body highs. Found in most Indicas, it’s also present in mango, thyme, lemongrass, and hops. Myrcene is an antioxidant and anti-carcinogen. Other medical benefits include pain reduction, muscle relaxation, and restful sleep.

Alpha-Pinene: a pine-scented terpene that could raise alertness, euphoria, or charge creativity, It’s also possible that it may offset the effect on memory-loss caused by THC. It’s mostly found in pine, dill, parsley, basil, and rosemary. Other medical benefits include antiseptic, and mild asthma relief.

Limonene: a citrus-scented terpene that may elevate mood, and relieve stress. Found in juniper, rosemary, fruit rinds, and peppermint. Medical benefits include gallstone and heartburn relief. Anti-fungal; gastroprotection, and an antidepressant.

Linalool: smelling like a mixed bag of candy and floral-fragranced, this terpene can act as a sedative and provide anxiety relief. It’s found in lavender, rose, basil, and neroli oil. Medical benefits include protection against anxiety, convulsions, depression, and even acne.

Humulene: an earthy or hops-scented terpene that may have anti-inflammatory effects. Beta-Caryophyllene: a spicy, peppery smelling terpene that may relieve stress.

Ocimene: a sweet-scented terpene with antiseptic properties.

Terpinolene: a floral, or pine-scented terpene that provides relaxation.

There seems to be a family resemblance when it comes to terpene profiles, as a cannabis parent can pass down its scent to its descendant strains called phytonutrients. Like fingerprints, we now know every cannabis strain has its own terpene profile. We can use these profiles by considering individual effects, and by combining different compounds for a variety of benefits. When we are purposeful, we can create the perfect terpene cocktail and get the most out of cannabis.

Trichomes are the tiny resin glands found covering cannabis flowers. This is where the plant produces and stores THC, CBD, Terpenes, and other cannabinoids. This suggests that terpenes might work in harmony with other cannabis compounds in a phenomenon called the Entourage Effect.

BY ROB BREZSNY

Gotorealastrology.comforRobBrezsny’sexpandedweeklyaudiohoroscopesanddailytext-messagehoroscopes.

Audiohoroscopesalsoavailablebyphoneat877-873-4888or900-950-7700.

ARIES (March 21-April 19)

When you Aries folks are at your best, you are drawn to people who tell you exactly what they think, who aren’t intimidated by your high energy and who dare to be as vigorous as you. I hope you have an array of allies like that in your sphere right now. In my astrological opinion, you especially need their kind of stimu lation. It’s an excellent time to invite influences that will nudge you out of your status quo and help you glide into a new groove. Are you willing to be challenged and changed?

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

Author Toni Morrison thought beauty was “an absolute neces sity,” not “a privilege or an indulgence.” She said that “finding, incorporating, and then representing beauty is what humans do.” In her view, we can’t live without beauty “any more than we can do without dreams or oxygen.” All she said is even truer for Tauruses and Libras than other signs. You Bulls have an extra wrinkle: It’s optimal if some of the beauty in your life is useful. Your mandate is summed up well by author Anne Michaels: “Find a way to make beauty necessary; find a way to make necessity beautiful.” I hope you’ll do that in the coming weeks.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)

Philosopher Alfred North Whitehead said, “It requires a very unusual mind to make an analysis of the obvious.” I nominate you to perform that service in the coming days, both for yourself and your allies. No one will be better able than you to discern the complexities of seemingly simple situations. You will also have extraordinary power to help people appreciate and even embrace paradox. So be a crafty master of candor and transpar ency, Gemini. Demonstrate the benefits of being loyal to the objective evidence rather than to the easy and popular delu sions. Tell the interesting truths.

CANCER (June 21-July 22)

Cancerian poet Lucille Clifton sent us all an invitation: “Won’t you celebrate with me what i have shaped into a kind of life? i had no model. i made it up here on this bridge between starshine and clay, my one hand holding tight my other hand.” During October, fellow Cancerian, I propose you draw inspiration from her heroic efforts to create herself. The coming weeks will be a time when you can achieve small miracles as you bolster your roots, nourish your soulful confidence, and ripen your uniqueness.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)

“Dear Rob the Astrologer: This morning I put extra mousse on my hair and blow-dried the hell out of it, so now it is huge and curly and impossibly irresistible. I’m wearing bright orange shoes so everyone will stare at my feet, and a blue silk blouse that is much too high-fashion to wear to work. It has princess seams and matches my eyes. I look fantastic. How could anyone of any gender resist drinking in my magnificence? I realize you’re a spiritual type and may not approve of my showmanship, but I wanted you to know that what I’m doing is a totally valid way to be a Leo.—Your Leo teacher Brooke.” Dear Brooke: Thank you for your helpful instruction! It’s true that I periodically need to loosen my tight grip on my high principles. I must be more open to appreciating life’s raw feed. I hope you will perform a similar service for everyone you encounter in the coming weeks.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

How to be the best Virgo you can be during the coming weeks: 1. You must relish, not apologize for, your precise obsessions. 2. Be as nosy as you need to be to discover the core truths hidden beneath the surface. Risk asking almost too many questions in your subtle drive to know everything. 3. Help loved ones and allies shrink and heal their insecurities. 4. Generate beauty and truth through your skill at knowing what needs to be purged and shed. 5. Always have your Bullshit Detector with you. Use it liberally. 6. Keep in close touch with the conversations between your mind and body.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

The Libran approach to fighting for what’s right shouldn’t involve loud arguments or trying to manipulate people into seeing things your way. If you’re doing what you were born to do, you rely on gentler persuasion. Are you doing what you were born to do? Have you become skilled at using clear, elegant lan guage to say what you mean? Do you work in behalf of the best outcome rather than serving your ego? Do you try to understand why others feel the way they do, even if you disagree with their conclusions? I hope you call on these superpowers in the coming weeks. We all need you to be at the height of your potency.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

“One bad apple spoils the rest” is an idiom in the English language. It refers to the idea that if one apple rots as it rests in a pile of apples, the rest will quickly rot, too. It’s based on a scientific fact. As an apple decays, it emanates the gas ethylene, which speeds up decay in nearby apples. A variant of this idiom has recently evolved in relation to police misconduct, however. When law enforcement officials respond to such allegations, they say that a few “bad apples” in the police force aren’t rep resentative of all the other cops. So I’m wondering which side of the metaphor is at work for you right now, Scorpio. Should you immediately expunge the bad apple in your life? Or should you critique and tolerate it? Should you worry about the possibil ity of contamination, or can you successfully enforce damage control? Only you know the correct answer.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

Of all the signs in the zodiac, you Sagittarians know best how to have fun even when life sucks. Your daily rhythm may temporarily become a tangle of boring or annoying tasks, yet you can still summon a knack for enjoying yourself. But let me ask you this: How are your instincts for drumming up amusement when life doesn’t suck? Are you as talented at whipping up glee and inspi ration when the daily rhythm is smooth and groovy? I suspect we will gather evidence to answer those questions in the coming weeks. Here’s my prediction: The good times will spur you to new heights of creating even more good times.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

More than you might realize, people look to you for leadership and regard you as a role model. This will be extra true in the com ing weeks. Your statements and actions will have an even bigger impact than usual. Your influence will ripple out far beyond your sphere. In light of these developments, which may sometimes be subtle, I encourage you to upgrade your sense of responsibility. Make sure your integrity is impeccable. Another piece of advice, too: Be an inspiring example to people without making them feel like they owe you anything.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

Rapper-songwriter Nicki Minaj says, “You should never feel afraid to become a piece of art. It’s exhilarating.” I will go further, Aquarius. I invite you to summon ingenuity and joy in your efforts to be a work of art. The coming weeks will be an ideal time for you to tease out more of your inner beauty so that more people can benefit from it. I hope you will be dramatic and expressive about showing the world the full array of your interesting qualities. PS: Please call on the entertainment value of surprise and unpredictability.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)

Author Robertson Davies declared, “One learns one’s mystery at the price of one’s innocence.” It sounds poetic, but it doesn’t apply to most of you Pisceans—especially now. The more you learn your mystery, the more innocent you become. Please note I’m using the word “innocence” in the sense defined by author Clarissa Pinkola Estés. She wrote: “Ignorance is not knowing anything and being attracted to the good. Innocence is knowing everything and still being attracted to the good.”

YOU

SUDOKU

BABS

Spooky Times

It’s October. Fall has officially begun and for many, it’s not just hoodie season, it’s scary season!

What could possibly be scary when buying a home, or selling one? I could write a few dozen books about what I’ve seen in my almost 40 years as a Realtor. Since my editor requested something spooky-malookie for this week’s Halloween issue, here’s a few highlights that I’ve personally witnessed:

F When we were going through a vacant bungalow just before sunset, my buyers and I found an old wicker wheelchair similar to the one in the Alfred Hitchcock movie, Psycho, in the basement. Yeah, that was creepy, but what was worse was that it was kind of rocking back and forth when we discovered it.

Nope! We were out of there so fast we were crawling up each other’s backs getting up the stairs and out of the place!

F Yes, I have seen a ghost at a property. It was in the heat of summer in a vacant home in the Marmalade. My client had just walked from the front door through the living room and entered the kitchen. I was right behind. The home was stifling hot, and the summer flies (big ones) were attempting suicide against the windows to get out, making weird banging noises as they flew into the glass at top speed and then ending upside down on the window sill. There were hundreds of them.

As the client kept going, I looked up from the fly graveyard to my right. It was then that I saw an adult, white male dressed as an 1800s miner with a hard hat with a halfburned candle on it. He looked at me, not with any malice, and walked directly into the wall and disappeared.

F I’ve had several sellers tell me tales of their haunted houses. Two that I remember are still located in the 9th & 9th area. One possessed house wouldn’t let the owners put nails in the walls. Any time they tried to hang a picture, a painting or curtains, the nails would go flying back at them. And yes, the cabinets would bang closed in the middle of the night just like you’ve seen in “B” horror movies. They ended up calling a witch who came in and read the house and talked to the spirit. I don’t remember what she said but the cabinets settled down, and they were able to hang curtains. There were still troubles with the nails, though.

The other home—just down the street from the first—had voices in the attic. The owners discovered that the owner in the 1930s was fighting Prohibition by making whisky in the home and hiding it up there.

F What’s spooky now? The Federal Reserve raising interest rates by another 0.75%. That means interest rates on mortgages are going to go up.

Home sales across the nation have slowed during the past seven months, but prices aren’t dropping. Homes are sitting longer on the market, and Utah is among the top states for price reductions. Buyers and sellers are feeling scared in this spooky market, and there’s more adjusting coming. n

Fall in Love with

VALLEY

Awesome!

Adele Hankey of Park River, North Dakota, was born on April 21, 1926. As such, she shared her birthday with Queen Elizabeth II, who passed away two weeks ago. But she shared more than the date, KFYR-TV reported. When Elizabeth was crowned in 1952, Hankey wrote her a letter—and the queen responded by sending Hankey a birthday card. “I could have jumped out of my shoes,” Hankey said of the unexpected greeting. Over the past 70 years, the two have exchanged handwritten cards every year. Hankey said she’ll miss the regular communication: “Oh, absolutely. You miss your pen pals.”

News That Sounds Like a Joke

Beyond Meat COO Doug Ramsey is in the soup after a recent incident at a University of Arkansas vs. Missouri State foot ball game, the Associated Press reported. On Sept. 17, as fans jockeyed their cars out of the parking lot following the game, Ramsey, 53, became enraged when another car made contact with his SUV’s wheel. According to police, Ramsey left his car and “punched through the back windshield” of the other car; when the driver jumped out, Ramsey “pulled him in close and started punching his body,” then “bit the owner’s nose, ripping the flesh on the tip of the nose.” Ramsey was also heard threat ening to kill the other driver. He was charged with felony battery and making a terroristic threat.

Not the Reason I Was Expecting

On June 6, Kylynn Chambers, 32, used bright red spray paint to deface a bronze statue of the character Samantha from the 1960s TV show Bewitched in Salem, Massachusetts. On Sept. 20, he was sentenced to 18 months’ probation in the incident, which oddly had nothing to do with witchcraft. Rather, Chambers, who is currently homeless, told prosecutors he “wanted to do something to get arrested,” The Salem News reported. The statue was erected in 2005 by the TV Land cable channel in the city famous for the witch trials of 1692.

Oh, There It Is

One morning five years ago, Cincinnati resident Joey Lykins, then 30, woke up and realized his septum (nose) ring was miss ing. He searched through his bed but never located the small item, and eventually he gave up and got another one, the New York Post reported. “I thought maybe I’d swallowed it,” he said. But a few weeks ago, Lykins, now 35, developed a violent cough and thought he was sick. An X-ray revealed otherwise: Lykins’ nose ring was lodged in his left lung: “The doctor ... said, ‘Does this look familiar?’ I was like, ‘You’ve got to be kidding me! I’ve been looking for that!’” Lykins underwent a bronchoscopy, in which they retrieved the invader using a tube fed down his throat and into his lungs. The surgeon returned the ring to Lykins, who said he won’t be wearing it again: “I kept it as a souvenir.”

Vintage Weird

Our Weird readers are no doubt aware that the Harvard-Yale football game is a big deal—a longstanding rivalry. In 1982, another prestigious university inserted itself into the game, Boston.com reported, as part of another long tradition. On Nov. 20, 1982, a group of MIT students—members of Delta Kappa Epsilon, but still known as the Sudbury Four—hatched a brilliant prank. After five years of scheming and eight sneaky overnight visits to Harvard Stadium, the plan was in place: Bury a weather balloon beneath the turf, then blow it up using a vacuum cleaner motor during the game. Players stood around with hands on hips and watched as the 6-foot-diameter globe inflated, marked prominently with “MIT,” and then exploded. Harvard went on to win, 45-7.

Wait, What?

Neighbors of Mercedes New (aka Shawty Dred) in Atlanta have taken to walking in front of their building with umbrellas raised, rain or shine. Why? Because New was allegedly in the habit of strolling around on his high-rise balcony naked and urinating through the bars onto the street below. New, who sports dis tinctive yellow dreadlocks, was arrested on Sept. 21; neighbors shared video of him in the act with WSB-TV. But New insisted it wasn’t him: “I’m famous! I’m on TV, bruh. I didn’t do this, man. No. I’m innocent. I promise I didn’t do this.” He was held at the Fulton County jail.

Government in Action

Take note: In Alameda County, California, you may no longer engage in wild cow milking, CBS News reported. As of Sept. 20, the event often seen at rodeos in the area is illegal. In case you’re not a rodeo fan, wild cow milking involves two people who try to corral a loose cow and then extract milk from her udders. The event is not sanctioned by the Professional Rodeo Cowboys Association. “(Animals) don’t get a chance to speak. Who speaks for them?” asked County Supervisor Richard Valle, who intro duced the ordinance. Another supervisor thought the state or federal government should regulate wild cow milking.

Crime Report

You’ve heard of Jack the Ripper and the Taco Bell Strangler (or not?). Now Gresham, Oregon, is dealing with its own serial criminal: the Gresham Lumberjack. Someone is cutting down trees along the Springwater Corridor Trail—to the tune of 750 trees since August 2021, KATU-TV reported. But they’re not poaching firewood; the Lumberjack leaves the trees where they fall. The cutting seems to happen at night and with a hand saw (likely because it’s quieter). The city has installed cameras along the trail, and police have a person of interest, but in the mean time, they’re asking for the public’s help in nabbing the culprit.

Haven’t Had My Coffee Yet

On a Sept. 21 flight from Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, to Los Angeles International airport, passengers got a ringside seat (and video!) as Alexander Tung Cuu Le of Westminster, California, lost his cool over coffee service. Shortly after takeoff, as flight atten dants were serving drinks, Le approached an attendant and grabbed his shoulder while asking for coffee, KTLA-TV report ed. Then Le walked to the front of the plane and sat down in a seat near first class. When a flight attendant asked him to return to his own seat, he “assumed a fighting stance toward the flight attendant by making closed fists with both hands,” according to court documents. When the attendant turned away from him, Le slugged him in the back of the head. Le then ran to the back of the plane, where passengers detained him; his hands and ankles were cuffed, and he was restrained with seatbelt extenders. If convicted of the felony charge of interfering with flight crew members and attendants, Le could face a maximum of 20 years in federal prison. All for coffee.

Bright Idea

Noise complaints have gone way down at a restaurant in Singapore after it implemented a “screaming children sur charge” of $10, Yahoo! News reported. Angie’s Oyster Bar & Grill said that before the new policy was put in place, they were receiving complaints on a weekly basis about children running around unattended or disturbing other tables. Now, parents are trying harder to control their children and “99%” of patrons are respectful and understanding.