City Weekly September 29, 2022

The Ones Who Get Away

How Utahns hook up, break up, reconnect and find ways to get over their dreaded 'ex.'

By Carolyn Campbell

By Carolyn Campbell

photography by Anetlanda

To Protect and Serve

Recently, at the Glendale Golf Course, I went to refill my water bottle and was stopped by a young, half naked, homeless lady who asked for some water. I quickly scrambled to give her my golf towel to cov er herself up, and went inside to get her a water and some Coke—I figured the sugar might help.

As I went about doing this, I couldn’t help but feel scared. Had someone already called the cops? If so, when they arrived, how were they going to deal with this young lady who was down on her luck and clearly in need of help—not punishment?

I felt helpless and really concerned. I gave the lady her water, $5 and my tow el. I suggested she may want to leave, as the police might be coming. Clearly she needed help, but understood the potential quagmire.

My concerns about the police are welldeserved. About a month earlier, a friend of mine who was a gentle soul was blocked from boarding a plane to Canada to see his mom, who had cancer. So, deeply troubled, he went to the sixth floor of a parking garage in Orlando and threatened to jump for three hours.

Clearly, the three-hour standoff was a cry for help. No one who wants to jump waits for three hours! However, in the end he did, with the police standing there.

Our society needs a force dedicated to “serve and protect,” not enforce and pun ish. However, being a human with com passion and consideration seems to be at a premium these days, and not only among police officers.

This leaves vulnerable groups like the homeless, mentally ill, veterans, children and the elderly in constant danger from overzealous policing.

I am ashamed to say I cannot tell you what happened to the young lady on the golf course that day. I am using my voice because I believe that we need to re-exam ine a simple question: What kind of world do we want to live in?

I want to live in a country where I know that when I reach out for help with an atrisk individual, I will be getting the power of the government to ensure we are going to do everything we can to help that per son. To make sure they get home safely and get the help they need. To protect their needs. To use the wealth and com passion of our country to serve them and show them we care.

The fact that isn’t happening already isn’t OK. We all need to do better. People are counting on us.

BRENDAN RYAN Salt Lake City

“Paving Paradise,” Sept. 15 Cover Story

This highway bypass will fundamentally alter the way Heber looks.

Enough is enough—our stupid lawmak ers need to be voted out. They wanted to fill in Utah Lake.

They took all the water from the Great Salt Lake, threatening our air and our lake-effect snow.

And now this? They’re idiots.

CATHIE GALLEGOS CHANSAMONE COSTANZO Via Facebook

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THE

What’s the best concert you’ve attended?

Chelsea Neider

Britney Spears’ A Dream Within a Dream tour in 2001

Pete Saltas

Co-worker Doug Kruithof and I went to the Claypool Lennon Delirium at the Depot in 2016. Sean Lennon is talented by his own rights, but I originally went to see John Lennon’s son on stage. After the show, I bought my first vinyl record—signed! Since then, I’ve been amassing a solid vinyl collection with recommendations from Sam Stinson at Randy’s Records.

Benjamin Wood

I’m not a huge Mumford & Sons fan or anything (at least not anymore, yikes) but their outdoor show at Great Saltair was straight fire.

Kathy Mueller

Roger Waters. A group of friends and I traveled to Denver to see the show. As I looked down the row at my friends, all with tears streaming down their faces, we knew this wasn’t just a concert, it was a spiritual experience.

Kelly Boyce

Old Dominion at Ogden Amphitheater on July 29, 2016—the day they became my fa vorite country band!

Mikey Saltas

If you and your 30-something friends got in a brawl over spilled beer with four 16-year-olds at the Ludacris concert at the 2013 Twilight series, know this: A. the statute of limitations has expired and B. you got your asses whooped (sorry, Mom)!

CINEMA

Lies, and Damned Lies

Francis Bacon—notable 16th century philosopher and statesman—was recognized as one of England’s finest minds. He gifted our world with a better appreciation for methodical, skeptical use of the scientific method in de termining the validity of what we observe.

Oft quoted for his great intellect, Bacon made a statement about “imagination” that’s spot on in America today. “Imag ination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is.”

Much has been said about imagination. It is probably the most remarkable gift of the human brain, allowing humanity to ascend to ever greater accomplishments and to find solu tions to the most challenging of the world’s problems. The essence of imagination is that, without it, humankind would have no wings.

The flip side, of course, is that there’s a clear difference be tween imagination and delusion. Bacon’s quip about a sense of humor is a brilliant assessment of how we should treat the reality of our failures.

Whether a delusional supporter or a realistic critic of Don ald Trump—the Pillsbury Dough Man of super-egos—no one can deny that the former president has a boundless imagi nation. It is also undeniable that he has no sense of humor when confronted with his failures, and that he will do any thing to convince others of his lies.

He claims he graduated first in his class at Wharton busi ness school and was awarded the glory of class valedictorian. Wow! But professors have noted that Trump was not a good student and that his laziness made him an academic failure.

He claims to have one of the highest IQs in America and is the smartest man to ever serve as its president. But our country has had its share of highly intelligent leaders; Trump wasn’t one of them, preferring, as he does, to go with gut instincts over rational decisions.

Trump said he was once named the “Michigan Man of the Year.” He recited that bull in front of a Michigan crowd, and it was an outright fabrication.

Trump lauded his first State of the Union address as the best in history. Simply untrue.

He said his personal residence—the penthouse in New York City’s Trump Tower—was a whopping 33,000 square feet. But Trump made that claim to inflate the penthouse’s value to lenders—the residence was actually less than onethird that size.

Trump is a multi-billionaire, a self-made—or at least selfdescribed—success who borrowed a million dollars from his father and turned it into a real estate empire. Except Trump actually received roughly $439 million from his father and lost much of it on poor business decisions.

He boasted that his 2016 Electoral College win was the biggest since Reagan. Not even close to the truth.

He claims that thousands of people were transported over state lines to vote for his opponent. Also proven to be a lie.

Trump proudly committed to funding his own presiden tial campaign rather than accepting donations from others. And while Trump did use some of his own money, he’s been one of the largest fundraisers in American political cam paign history.

Mar-a-Lago is worth $739 million, Trump says. Yeah, right! Appraisals show its value at a mere $75 million.

And then there’s the biggest lie he’s ever told: That Trump won the 2020 election and is the legitimate president of the United States. Except for a delusional fan club, no one actu ally believes he won.

Like James Thurber’s The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, Trump’s imagination has taken him to the greatest heights. Wanting desperately to be considered a success, he has predictably used his own lies to assuage the pain of his failures. There’s no question that he dreams—all in the pursuit of the great ness that has so eluded him—and his pathetic ego has pre vented him from any self-conscious smile, chuckle or selfdeprecation over his remarkably un-stunning successes.

BY MICHAEL S. ROBINSON SR.

In retrospect, everything he told Forbes to get on their cov eted list of the wealthiest people was likely untrue. Was he even a billionaire? Probably not.

Great imaginations—and great dreams—require great commitment to achieve. Therein lies Trump’s failure as both a president and a man. Lazy as they come—and expend ing all his energy on golf, defrauding others and chasing skirts—he’s never tried to become anything great.

The vision of a “legend in his own mind” has kept him from any real achievements. Desperately in need of affir mation, he has embraced the ignorant, the uneducated, the conspiracists and anyone who will tell him what he needs most to hear.

On some level, he must understand that those sycophants are, like him, merely liars who’ll say anything that soothes their egos or creates a sense of belonging to the group. His own need to be liked has made him a sucker for people like Kim Jong Un and Vladimir Putin. He’s even embraced QAnon conspiracy theories, though he feigns ignorance stating, “I don’t know much about the movement, other than I under stand they like me very much.”

To be Trump’s “friend,” one must merely ignore every thing factual and embrace the man’s idiotic grandiosity. These people don’t care what’s true. They choose to believe— beyond believing—when facts clearly point to the failed reality of their man, both as a human being and a credible business success.

So, as Francis Bacon observed, “imagination was given to [Trump] to compensate him for what he is not.” But the necessary sense of humor—something that might otherwise console the miserable man—is glaringly lacking.

In terms of real value, Trump has little to give to the world. He’s the antithesis of the great American Dream. CW

Private Eye is off this week. The author is a retired busi nessman, novelist, columnist and former Vietnam-era Army assistant public information officer. Send feedback to comments@cityweekly.net.

CINEMA

HITS&MISSES

BY KATHARINE BIELE @kathybiele

MISS: SITLA Fit

You know there’s something wrong with a law when virtually no one un derstands it. Reporters from The Salt Lake Tribune had to get perspective from retired lawmaker Mel Brown, who worked on the 1994 legislation. That perspective is about the Utah School and Institutional Trust Lands Administration (SITLA), its process and its mission. The story is a convo luted mess involving a whistleblower, the Ute tribe, the former Department of Natural Resources director and now, of course, the Legislature. Yes, it involves money, too, because that is supposed to be SITLA’s main goal—to make mon ey for schools by selling deeds to the public lands established when Utah gained statehood. The tribe had put in an attractively high bid for some land deeds, but officials worried over what they’d do with it, so they withdrew the whole bidding process. The story high lights tensions between decisions to make money for schools and those to promote the public interest. The real question may be what Utah believes the public’s interest is.

MISS: Betting on Gas

Let’s take a moment to acknowledge the loss of Sizzler’s chicken, steak and salad bar. Now let’s move on to traffic and fossil fuels. With the Sugar House Sizzler gone and vacant, Kum & Go has purchased the site for a future gas station. “This decision goes against what most neighbors wanted. Nearby residents have opposed the project for months, claiming that it would gener ate trash, increase traffic and noise.” That quote could have been from The Salt Lake Tribune, but instead was from a report from KRDO in Colorado Springs. Kum & Go is on a march to ex pand with more than 900 new stores. This one would be the second gas sta tion at the major Sugar House Park in tersection of 2100 South and 1300 East. Salt Lake City has committed to reduce driving downtown while the nation is focused on electric charging stations. And yet, we will have Kum & Go with its new branding of fresh food alongside toxic fossil fuels.

HIT: Furever Homes

Where pet adoptions are concerned, we’ll give this one to KSL5. Both KSL and the Trib reported on Petapalooza, an annual adoption event by Salt Lake County Animal Services. The Trib was delighted with the fun and festivities, noting that more than 100 pets found homes, and some even participated in a psychic reading—always a plus when your pet can’t speak. But KSL looked at the bigger picture, not so much about the fun as the overwhelming numbers of abandoned pets during COVID. One advocate thinks people got cute pup pies and kittens during the lockdown, but then just left them when they re turned to work. Many had outgrown their cuteness and weren’t trained. While it was good that so many were adopted this time, KSL underscored the need to train owners first.

CITIZEN REV LT IN A WEEK, YOU CAN CHANGE THE WORLD

Protect Labyrinth Canyon

It may be one of Utah’s lesser known slot canyons, but it’s one of the most spectacular. The Bureau of Land Management, though, has its own idea about Labyrinth Canyon, and it’s not about wilderness. The BLM’s draft plan “will determine where off-road vehicle (ORV) use is allowed in this remark able landscape for decades to come,” say conservationists who want to Protect Laby rinth Canyon. The Southern Utah Wilder ness Society describes the canyon as a deep, sinuous, 45-mile-long canyon that’s one of the country’s premier flat water river trips, carved out by the Green River. Comments are being taken now. You can find suggested comments like ensuring protection on both sides of the Green and closing the motorized vehicle routes. Online, through Friday, Oct. 7, https://p2a.co/UAaIjJb

Fight Judicial Bias

The disproportionate number of racial mi norities in the new prisoner population con tinues to rise, despite legislative efforts to address the problem. Laws passed since 2015 have attempted to ensure that minorities could plead for lighter sentences if there is evidence of racial bias. But data shows that the disparity continues to worsen. One of the problems may be that defense attorneys have neglected to make those claims on be half of their clients. Judges on the Ballot: The Vote’s Role in an Independent and Accountable Judiciary will explore how the Utah Judicial Performance Evaluation Committee is working to eliminate implicit bias in Utah’s judicial branch. Livestream or U of U Hinckley Institute of Politics, 260 S. Central Campus Drive, Room 2018, SLC, Wednesday, Oct. 5, noon. Free. https://bit.ly/3LCHmuH

GSL and the Spiral Jetty

You may think you understand the shrink ing of the Great Salt Lake, but at Commu nity Meet-up at Spiral Jetty with UMFA , you’ll see it for yourself. You will have a chance to see Utah’s amazing earthen art work, to see what it has inspired and to bet ter understand the science that is affecting the lake and its ecosystem. “They will have art activities, curator chats, a dance work shop, a writing workshop and a guided med itation. And of course, information about the artwork. Students from Great Salt Lake Institute at Westminster will talk about the science of GSL.” Rozel Point, State Route 83 through Corinne, Saturday, Oct. 1, 12-3 p.m., free. https://bit.ly/3UzuZU0

All About Witches

Learn about Pennsylvania’s only official witch trial in 1684. Since then, witchcraft and folk magic have been a part of the his tory of the Keystone state. “While witches were feared in the Pennsylvania German tradition, powwowers were and are revered for their abilities to heal, lift curses and find lost objects. Folklorist Thomas White traces the history and lore of witchcraft and the occult that quietly live on in Pennsylvania even today.” Witches of Pennsylvania: Occult History and Lore will be quite a ride for Halloween season. Virtual, Tues day, Oct. 4, 5 p.m., donation suggested.

https://bit.ly/3r2nF5P

ESSENTIALS

Broadway at the Eccles: Disney’s The Lion King

After nearly 30 years, Disney’s The Lion King has made the transition from improbable family-friendly spin on Hamlet to cultural institution. Two generations have seen the story spun off into direct-to-video sequels, TV series, a CGI-animated blockbuster remake and even an upcoming origin-of-Mufasa prequel feature. Among the most fascinating offshoots of the Lion King brand, however, was director Julie Taymor’s 1997 stage adaptation, which added new songs by Lebo M, Mark Mancina and others to the original Elton John/Tim Rice tunes and crafted a stage spectacle of humans transformed into animals.

The familiar story follows the journey of the young lion cub Simba from his destiny as future king of the African savannah, to the killing of his father at the hands of his uncle Scar, to his adult crisis of conscience regarding whether or not to return and challenge the usurper. Comic relief once again comes in the form of flatulent warthog Pumbaa and his anxious meerkat pal Timon, as well as Scar’s hornbill majordomo Zazu. Through the use of elaborate costumes and magnificent puppeteered creatures, the story at times even spills out into the audience, turning this beloved narrative into something even richer and more powerful, but as hummable as ever.

Disney’s The Lion King makes a stop at the Eccles Theatre (131 S. Main) Sept. 29 – Oct. 23, with performances Tuesdays –Thursdays 7:30 p.m., Fridays 8 p.m., Saturdays 2 p.m. & 8 p.m., and Sundays 1 p.m. & 6:30 p.m. Tickets range from $35.50$95.50; visit arttix.org to purchase tickets, and for up-to-themoment health and safety protocols. (Scott Renshaw)

UMOCA opening reception

It’s easy to understand the appeal of “two for the price of one;” everybody loves the idea of getting more out of their time and money. If you’re looking to sample the amazing offerings of the Utah artistic community, the Utah Museum of Contemporary Art gives you a chance sample not one, not two, but three new exhibitions all at the same time with this month’s opening reception event.

Tali Alisa Hafoka’s Carried Across: Meditations on Diasporic Living finds the local artist investigating the farflung Pacific Islander diasporas through the lens of food, and the way traditional food preparations, and how cultural tradi tions are continued through gatherings focused around food (an image from the Gauguin series is pictured). Multimedia artist Aïsha Lehmann’s My Roots, Your Roots takes on the dichotomy between authentic and perceived identities; inspi ration from patterns and plants found in nature, including the idea of the family tree, connect to both those internal and external realities. And Christy Chan’s Who’s Coming to Save You? employs video, installation and performance to interrogate structural white supremacy in America, and what keeps it going.

The reception for all three new UMOCA exhibitions takes place Friday, Sept. 30 at the museum (20 W. South Temple), from 7 p.m. – 9 p.m. The event—which is free and open to the public—will also feature a panel discussion at 6 p.m. on the subject of the art and culture of the Utah Pacific Islander community, tying into Hafoka’s exhibition. Visit utahmoca.org for additional event information. (SR)

Sugar Skull! A Día de Muertos Musical Adventure

Día de los Muertos has certainly become more familiar to more Americans in recent years, linked in part to the success of the Pixar animated feature Coco. It’s a rich tradition that offers plenty of opportunity for artistic exploration, and that’s just what writer Gregory Van Acker, composer/arranger Sinuhé Padilla, director Elena Aráoz and the team at Mexico Beyond Mariachi set out to demonstrate in 2017 when they developed Sugar Skull! A Día de Muertos Musical Adventure in New York.

The story follows 12-year-old Queens, New York resident Vita Flores, who thinks that her family is getting a little too enthusiastic about preparations for Día de los Muertos like putting up ofrendas for dead relatives; she’s much more inclined to follow in the footsteps of peers who get into the Halloween spirit. That’s when a candy skeleton comes to life and takes her on a magical journey to understand the origins and meaning behind the day that includes encounters with the trickster Chaneques and the iconic figure known as La Calavera Catrina. Full of traditional music, dance and energy, it’s a family-friendly chance to experience a cultural tradition with deep emotional roots

Sugar Skull! has started touring the nation after its initial 2018 East Coast productions, and visits Kingsbury Hall (1395 E. Presidents Circle) on Saturday, Oct. 1 at 2 p.m. Tickets are $10 - $20 for the general public, with $5 tickets available for University of Utah Students. Visit utahpresents.org to pur chase tickets and for additional event information. (SR)

James Dashner: The Maze Cutter

Utah author James Dashner has spent more than a decade now in the world of The Maze Runner, the post-apocalyptic series that sub jected youngsters to a series of mysterious tests. From the original trilogy, Dashner has moved on to prequel tales like the Kill Order and The Fever Code, as well as the spin-off “sidequel” Crank Palace featuring the charac ter Newt. Now, for the first time, Dashner is jumping forward in time for The Maze Cutter

The latest novel takes place more than 70 years after the events of the original trilogy, when the exploits of Thomas and his friends have become legend among their descendants on an isolated island. Then a woman arrives unexpectedly on a boat, bringing information for how life has evolved on the mainland that leads those descendants back to the rest of the world. “After the prequels, I personally thought, ‘Okay, this story is laid to rest,’” Dashner said in an interview on his publisher’s YouTube channel. “Then after a few years … the COVID era has me thinking about what happens to a virus and its evolution. So I got super excited to jump back into this world.”

Join James Dashner for an in-person book-launch event for The Maze Cutter sponsored by the King’s English Bookshop at the Center for Spiritual Living (193 E. 2100 South, Suite 200) on Tuesday, Oct. 4 at 6 p.m. Tickets are $32, which includes a hardcover copy of the book and admission to the signing line. Visit kingsenglish.com for more information and link to Eventbrite ticketing. (SR)

DANCE

Connect Four

Quadruple Bill kicks off Repertory Dance Theatre’s “season of connection.”

BY SCOTT RENSHAW scottr@cityweekly.net @scottrenshaw

Repertory Dance Theatre is promot ing its 2022-2023 season as “a sea son of connection.” That notion takes on a variety of different meanings— including a season-opening program that re-connects the company with one of its most illustrious alumni.

Quadruple Bill (plus) showcases four works from celebrated choreographer Bill Evans, a native of Lehi, Utah who studied ballet under Ballet West founder William Christensen, took his career to New York in the 1960s, then returned to join RDT from 1967-1974. Though he currently lives in the Pacific Northwest, RDT artistic director Linda C. Smith hesitates to describe him as “retired.” “This is a person who will never retire,” she says with a laugh. “He’s as ac tive today as he’s ever been.”

“Bill has of course been an RDT asset, let’s say, over the years,” Smith adds. “We try to connect with him periodically, choreo graphically. It was very timely, I think, after COVID … to touch base with our community of friends and artistic associates, and revi talize those important relationships.”

When it came time to select the Evans pieces that would be featured in this pro gram, the process was a collaboration between the choreographer and the com pany. “Some pieces, the dancers say, ‘Oh, we’d love to do this or that,’” Smith says. “Some [Evans] mentioned, and I said, ‘Eh,

maybe another time.’ He’s created over 200 pieces, so there’s a lot to choose from.”

Ultimately, a quartet of Evans works be came part of the Quadruple Bill program, spanning 50 years of his career. Hard Times, from 1973, evokes images of rural America during the Great Depression, set to traditional folk music. Suite Benny originally staged in 1988, and reimagined in 2017—offers a tribute to the Big Band era of artists like Benny Goodman, which offered entertainment emerging from the Depression. Crippled Up Blues … and other tales of Deseret (2015), originally created for RDT’s 50th anniversary, features the music of Southern Utah-based musicians 3hat trio and touches on the history of the West. And Petroglyph offers a new interpretation of Evans’ 1996 work Naturescape Unfolding.

The latter provides only the most recent example of the way a piece of choreography can forever be a work in progress. While the original version was inspired by the unique landscape of Utah, Evans felt in spired to take it in a new direction, to the extent that he’s referring to Petroglyph as a world premiere.

“[Evans] said, ‘I think that has a different meaning for me now, and I’ll revive it with some edits,’” Smith recalls. “It already related to the natural world of Utah land scapes. But when he revisited it, he had been more fascinated with the petroglyphs that we have an abundance of; that kind of piqued his imagination.”

Additionally, it’s always the case that the simple process of working on an existing piece with new performers can affect its na ture. Evans himself has been working with the dancers for several weeks, discovering the way a new iteration might look. “Bill has a very keen vision of what he did in the past, and how he wants to use that on a new cast,” Smith says. “Sometimes the cast members will inspire you to do some aspect of it a lit tle differently. There are always opportuni ties to adapt or make changes.

“You know with an artist, they’re rarely ‘finished’ with it,” she adds. “You have to grab the paintbrush out of their hands and say, ‘It’s finished, I’m buying it.’”

Petroglyph is only one part of the pro gram, of course, and that aforementioned process of deciding on all the included pieces demonstrates a general philosophy towards building an evening of dance for an audience. “You go to the theater, and it should be nourishing, like a good meal,” Smith says. “It needs to have a progression: an hors d’oeuvre, a salad, an entrée and a little dessert. I like to think of a program like that, that it carries you somewhere.”

And a focus on the audience experience touches on another component of that “season of connection”: the idea of re-con necting with live audiences. While RDT did perform live shows last season, in addition to continuing with virtual options, Smith says the company wants to really focus on what it means to bring audiences back into live performance, including the decision to offer both masks-required and masksoptional performances for this production.

“We are so delighted to have live audi ences back,” Smith says. “Yes, we are creat ing video opportunities now; even though

seeing a video of a dance work is different, it still can be a wonderful experience. But there’s nothing like dancing for an audi ence in a theater. They give you energy, and vice-versa.

“The last couple of years have been challenging, but they’ve offered some oppor tunities for us to kind of re-imagine our selves, and new ways to serve and connect with an audience. It’s been bittersweet, challenging, yet I think we’ve grown in our understanding about how to connect with people in a variety of ways.” CW

REPERTORY DANCE THEATRE: QUADRUPLE BILL (PLUS)

Rose Wagner Center 138 W. 300 South Sept. 29 – Oct. 1 Sept. 29, masks required; Sept. 30 – Oct. 1, masks recommended 7:30 p.m. $30 arttix.org

RDT dancers perform Bill Evans’ Suite Benny

SHARON KAIN

The Ones Who Get Away

How Utahns hook up, break up, reconnect and find ways to get over their dreaded ‘ex.’

By Carolyn Campbell comments@cityweekly.net

Once a year, Dustin Gregory celebrates the anni versary of breaking up with his “toxic” ex. He calls it Liberation Day, an event he commemo rates with balloons and treats.

Gregory admits his ex was gorgeous, “little and stun ning with a cool personality.” He first glimpsed his future love in junior high, where she drew much attention. Later, they would date for roughly a year and a half “before the cracks showed, and I discovered she was ‘cuteness weap onized,’” he recalls.

Gregory claims his ex constantly kept him in a state of wanting to be with her. Yet, she also punished him when he couldn’t spend enough money or time to do the things she wanted. As a result, they had several minor breakups before a big one that “really hurt.”

“We burned out quick—that’s when she told me she was already seeing someone else,” he said. “It was one more big fight for control.”

He researched the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, or DSM—the textbook used by healthcare professionals as the authoritative guide to diagnosing mental health. And what he saw looked familiar.

“It showed a wheel of how a narcissist chooses different control methods—it was like [my ex] was checking off ev ery box,” he said.

For example, Gregory says his ex once called the police to tell them that he was suicidal. “They came to my work to pull me aside and talk to me,” he said. “She did that to embarrass me and get me in trouble at work.”

Another time, she insisted that a car salesman had been inappropriately hitting on her. “Her claims weren’t ac curate—she only wanted to make sure she got a deal on a car,” Gregory said. “She constantly wanted me to defend her. But I was her boyfriend, not her attorney.”

But despite all the conflict, Gregory still feels attached— as exes often feel when recalling better days. That chemis try hasn’t completely gone away. “It’s only been tainted by a considerable portion,” Gregory said.

His ex tried all kinds of things to keep the relation ship going—everything from contacting Gregory’s other ex-girlfriends and his parents to friending his mutual Facebook friends so she could spy on him. He intention ally counters his lingering attachment with his annual Liberation Day, which includes “remembering all the bad

qualities I am free of.” He feels he couldn’t survive another relationship with her. “I’m now liberated from a bear trap,” Gregory said.

Like Gregory, many ex-partners must find a way to man age their mixed emotions of grief, distress and (often) re lief. People are forced to rebuild who they are and separate from their partner. This adjustment is hard work.

Intermittent Exes, Part I

Lindsay’s secret relationship was counter to everything her parents taught her. A practicing Latter-day Saint, she did everything that was expected of her—except for find ing a husband.

Lindsay graduated from LDS seminary, served a mission in Australia and worked in the LDS temple every Tuesday. She graduated from college and owned her own business. Yet, despite her accomplishments, she asked herself, “Why am I not happy? What needs to shift?”

As time ticked by, people kept telling Lindsay she should already be married. “I was 23 years old. I had never par tied or had a relationship,” she recalls. So when Josh (both names in this story have been changed) walked into her graduate-level class at the U of U, something about him put her on high alert. “If I sense that someone is going to change my life, I push against it and get sassy,” she says. While she’s since controlled that impulse, back then, she and Josh initially butted heads while working together as leaders on a big project.

But then, Lindsay decided “to be the bigger person—to be kinder,” she said. “He softened a lot when I did that.”

One night, Lindsay saw Josh walking alone across one of the school parking lots. Lindsay felt compelled to approach him, “this man who I knew lived a different lifestyle.”

At first, Lindsay said, “he was very coy and reserved about everything. But then we started talking. We went from hating each other to connecting in a universe-shak ing conversation.”

They were like two souls who knew each other deeply in another life. Lindsay learned that Josh had left the LDS Church as a teenager. She perceived some bitterness to ward his former faith but, Lindsay recalls, “it was an in teresting dynamic—him who left the church, and me who stayed on the ‘right’ path but still needed to see a different lifestyle to determine how I wanted to live my life.”

Over time, Lindsay said, she and Josh created a “situ ationship.” “Half the time,” she said, “we called it friends with benefits.”

Loni Harmon is a licensed clinical social worker in Utah with more than 10 years of experience helping singles cre ate secure and lasting love. She is known, professionally, as The Dating Counselor.

Harmon explains that it’s widespread and common for people like Lindsay and Josh to create “situationships.” The word defines a relationship that isn’t precisely a com mitted, traditionally romantic relationship but is ongoing and unique to a person’s circumstances. “It could be two co-workers, or a couple who are in the same place during a summer holiday, or any other convenient connection be cause of the situation that you are in,” Harmon said.

Before she became The Dating Counselor, Harmon her self experienced a situationship that ended as they often do—with leftover feelings. “I did not want to be friends with him,” Harmon recalls. “He married a casual friend of mine. I unfriended her, but she kept popping back up.”

Harmon later chose to browse her friend’s profile and remembers seeing the photos of her quasi ex.

“I was so angry, so mad,” Harmon said. “I felt all the un said things. All the things I wanted to say came back. I’m not mad that he is happy. But you get flooded emotionally with that fact.”

Loni Harmon says informal relation ships can lead to le ftover feelings.

Situational Relationships

In a situationship, Harmon explains, a person can lack the credibility or formality of being able to call someone their “ex.” And yet, the feelings can easily be as strong as any traditional relationship.

“A relationship today often isn’t about needing someone to put a roof over your head and help provide food,” Har mon said. “It’s more often about companionship, building a life together. It’s a pattern you develop with the person you are interested in and how you do life together.”

Looking at an ex’s social media can provide a dopamine hit, Harmon said—similar to the way an addict craves an other fix. Through sites like Facebook, says Harmon, a per son can look in on people they maybe shouldn’t be in touch with.

“It’s effortless to click a button and send a message,” Harmon said. “You don’t have to think it through and ask yourself if this is a good idea. You don’t have to tell your mom you are thinking about calling your ex, and she doesn’t have the chance to say, ‘You better not.’”

However, continuing to love an ex is also normal and OK. “It just means that you are processing the emotions that come with being in a relationship,” says Ernesto Lira de la Rosa, a psychologist and media adviser for Hope for Depression Research Foundation.

Psychology Today conducted research showing that 40% to 50% of people have reunited with an ex to start a new relationship. And “lingering feelings” manifested a lot during the pandemic, when around 1 in 5 people report edly reached out to an ex while in quarantine, according to new research conducted by the Kinsey Institute. More over, nearly half of those who contacted a former partner reported reaching out to multiple exes.

When asked about their motivations, participants in the Kinsey research said they just wanted to check on their former partners, wrote Justin Lehmiller, the study’s lead author. “Specifically,” he said, “they usually wanted to en sure that their ex was safe and healthy, or to see how they were coping emotionally.”

But a smaller number admitted they were testing the waters for a potential hookup or wanted to see if their ex was dating someone new.

“There’s a general curiosity about where they are now,” said Harmon. “They give them a ‘like’ every now and then as a way of keeping tabs. They don’t want to date them, but they don’t want them to date anyone else, either.”

She said that some people craft their social media in ways designed to make an ex jealous. “They could be am biguous in posts, saying ‘here’s me with a guy,’” Harmon explained. “Those words will generate curiosity. They say,

‘See? I’m with someone else,’ when the guy in the photo could be a cousin or gay best friend. But it still makes it look like you are with somebody.”

Harmon adds that rather than completely breaking up, couples often will “take a break,” using time apart to de cide if they want to get back together. For example, she is currently counseling a couple who were good friends be fore they started dating. “They had a couple of rocky first years,” Harmon said. “Breaking up every six months is hard and upsetting.”

When reconnecting after a break, Harmon said, couples might ask themselves what they are going to do differently, or what they and their partner are bringing to the table that’s new.

Real Romance

Celebrity jewelry designer and Real Housewives of Salt Lake City star Meredith Marks can relate to the experience of breaking up with the same person multiple times. She ini tially saw a few hitches in the arrangements for her first date with husband Seth Marks.

When Marks was 23, a friend who was planning to set her up with Seth told her that she was also interested in him. “Wait—you have a boyfriend,” Meredith remembers telling her. And by the time they got around to having that first date, Seth was already seeing someone else.

Meredith said she was initially invited to meet Seth for drinks after he attended a Chicago Bulls game with his friends. She declined.

“Then, I guess he woke up,” she said. “He called me and asked if [my friends and I] would like to go to the Bulls game. So we did, and we had a great first date.”

Seth told Meredith he was seeing someone else but added, “I would rather date you.” She responded that he should figure it out and get back to her.

“He was very respectful,” she said. “He didn’t even try to kiss me on the cheek until he broke up with the other girl. I saw he was loyal by how he treated this other woman.”

She also discovered that Seth Marks was intelligent, kind, quirky and very funny. “He likes to make people laugh,” she said. “Sometimes, his jokes aren’t in the best of taste, but I think humor is a major positive.”

They kept dating, were engaged a year later and cele brated their 26th wedding anniversary on Aug. 31. The cou ple has a residence in her native Chicago, and they travel to Park City—where her jewelry store is located on Main Street—for roughly four months out of the year.

Meredith said she and her husband have separated on multiple occasions—and were recently on the verge of di vorce—and that she missed him while they were apart.

“Fortunately for us, we were able to work through our differences and come back stronger than ever,” she said. “We had a lot of stuff we needed to resolve individually.”

Marks said she and her husband completed a lot of cou ples therapy, and she recommends that couples get a really good marriage counselor.

“Learning how to communicate is everything in a rela tionship,” she said.

At the end of the day, says Marks, most people share some of the fault for why a relationship starts to deterio rate. “There is always going to be mutual responsibility— relationships don’t break down single-handedly,” she said. But also, she says, “Sometimes you need that time apart to realize you have respect and mutual understanding and still want to be together.”

Their latest separation occurred during the first season of filming Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. Marks said the couple had already experienced ups and downs by then, with underlying issues built over years but also had com munication tools to help deal with those challenges. She noted that with their three children now adults and out of the house, it’s all the more critical for their relationship to be healthy in and of itself.

“By now, it’s do or die for us,” she said.

Intermittent Exes, Part II

Josh and Lindsay continued to relate on many levels while developing their situationship. “I knew him in a lot of ways better than he knew himself,” she recalled.

Josh began dating another girl they both worked with and, at times, there was a love triangle. “The dynamic shifted, and it got messy,” she said. “There were many ends and starts, yet there was always this connection that we shared throughout the years. We would get sucked back into each other.”

Lindsay and Josh’s relationship began and ended inter mittently from when she was 23 to age 30. Today, she is 34, a single homeowner, a business owner, a favorite auntie and wanderlust aficionado.

Looking back, she feels that God led her to an uncon ventional relationship with Josh that was utterly different from what she would have imagined for herself. She asks, “God, are you serious? Why would you lead me to this man and this relationship, allow this exploration and still stay with me and love me as a woman?” Today, she says the rela tionship taught her immense lessons and “so much of what I am today, I attribute to it.”

But how did she navigate his not being a member of the LDS Church? “I just got the feeling I should go ahead.”

Dating these days is like preparing to go to war, says

Married for more than two decades, Seth and Meredith Marks’ first date was a Chicago Bulls game.

“Learning how to communicate is everying in a relationship,” says Real Housewives of Salt Lake City star Meredith Marks.

Utah state Sen. Derek Kitchen maintans a professional relationship and close friend ship with his former partner.

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Harmon. “If you go to war without a strategy for how to get out of the war, there will still be a war—and you will be completely unprotected.” She is one of several local experts who offers a dating course to give people the tools to find a safe person to date.

Harmon said it’s gratifying to see her students’ trans formations and growth as they move from something like “I don’t have anything to offer, and men suck” to feeling empowered and in control. But, she concludes, “I want you to be your authentic self and show you how to change how you date so you can get the results you deserve.”

Harmon suggested that people set boundaries af ter breaking up. She said dating shows like The Bachelor boosted a trend of post-breakup conversations, but she encouraged waiting at least six weeks to let the dust settle before any attempt to get back together and debrief.

“Don’t try to be friends. Don’t follow each other on so cial media,” Harmon said. “Create new routines. Surround yourself with people who think you are awesome.”

She also recommended that married couples who break up make their divorces final rather than lingering in legal ambiguity. If there are reasons why it can’t be finalized, resolve those reasons, she said.

Harmon said it’s common for the newly singled to pres ent themselves as available because they have been sepa rated—for years even—but their divorce isn’t final. She cautions that dating such a person can lead to harsh re alities when it becomes clear why exactly the marriage re mains intact.

“[It’s] for many reasons,” Harmon said, “and you are walking into a mess.”

Refurbished Relationships

While Harmon doesn’t recommend seeking out a relation ship with an ex as the optimum route to finding love, City Weekly discovered many instances where exes maintain harmonious—if not unusual—ties with each other after their romantic relationships ended.

After separating three years ago, state Sen. Derek Kitchen and his former partner of 11 years, Moudi Sbeity, continue to maintain a cordial and professional relation ship. “We started two businesses together, and we have continued to operate them for several years,” Kitchen said. “We can do that well, and we have close family ties to each other.”

Kitchen added that while their relative harmony can’t be fully explained by their same-sex relationship, he did credit his and Sbeity’s willingness and experience buck ing expectations and trends. Before they were married, they successfully challenged the state’s prohibition on

marriage equality in court and when they decided to end their relationship, Kitchen said, “we were able to embark on a different format.”

Kitchen and Sbeity initially met online when both men were in college. Today, Kitchen said the two see each other as something like cousins, brothers or loving friends. “We don’t talk daily, but we will meet for dinner to catch up on life,” he said.

What advice does Kitchen give to former partners who wish to maintain a social connection? “Be forgiving of yourself and your partner,” he said. “Just be gentle—we all make mistakes and grow and change. … Leaving the door open for each of us to evolve should come with a certain amount of grace for each of us to be our own person.”

Kerry Clift Spencer agrees. The author of I Spoke to You With Silence said she knew her husband was gay long before he knew that she was also LGBTQ. Anxious about whether or not to come out, she remembers asking a friend, “What are we supposed to do with this? What does our marriage even mean?”

Her friend suggested that Spencer’s situation was a pos itive, as each would be in a position to help the other. The remark caught her off guard but also swayed her thinking.

“We could do whatever we wanted,” Spencer said. “It was so freeing.”

Today, Spencer says she should have been able to choose to date women when she was younger, just as her former spouse should have been free to choose male dates. And after marrying in 2000, the Spencers gradually redefined their relationship as time passed.

“There’s this idea that a successful marriage does not end,” she said. “Steve and I had a great marriage, and it ended.”

The pair are now close, longtime friends. “It still feels like we are first-degree relatives—but not married,” she said. They officially marked their separation when he moved into their basement apartment. And after their divorce, her girlfriend Heather moved into the Spencers’ home with them. Then, the two women married.

Today, Kerry and Heather’s bedroom is upstairs, while Steve lives in a mother-in-law apartment. Their two teen age children hang out wherever they want.

Steve and his boyfriend just celebrated their first an niversary. And Kerry says Steve may move out sometime in the future. “We’ve always shared the goal of raising the kids,” she said.

Spencer said it’s nice for her two kids to have three par ents, as well as multiple adult incomes contributing to household expenses. She says their relationship experi ence is something they’ve all gone through together—and

maybe the reality that both she and Steve were gay simpli fied things.

“Every family needs to have two moms,” she says.

Jessica Frew’s podcast, “Husband in Law,” often fea tures guests and listeners whose lives didn’t turn out as expected. And Frew’s life embodies that description.

Days before their wedding, Frew’s future ex-husband told her he was struggling with pornography. Six months later, a flood of pornographic pictures popped up when she logged onto their computer—all the photos depicted men.

When Frew confronted him with the possibility that he might be gay, “He was in denial,” she recalls. Her husband told Frew that he chose male pornography because he didn’t want to disrespect women.

Later, he confessed that their verbal exchange was the first time the former LDS missionary and active LDS hus band had thought about what he considered the worst pos sible scenario—that he could be gay. When he ultimately came out to Jessica, they were also undergoing fertility testing. “Our hopes didn’t change,” she said. “We decided we still wanted a baby.”

Their daughter, Penny, was born five years into their marriage. They divorced a week after their seventh wed ding anniversary.

Walking away from the life that he thought was the right path was challenging to the point that Frew’s ex-husband became suicidal. “I slept with my phone on, and he would call me at 2 or 3 in the morning,” Frew said. “I would talk him down and say, ‘We need you. We love you. Please go home and go to bed.’”

While driving together to visit family in December 2011, they set out plans and hopes for their future. “We talked about what we wanted for Penny and hopes for what our future partners would be like,” she said. “I wanted him to find a spouse who was loving and accepting of him.”

Frew said her ex-husband is not just her daughter’s fa ther, he’s also one of her best friends and something like a brother. While not the future they originally planned, their daughter has two loving parents who care deeply about each other.

Frew remarried, and together with her ex-husband cre ated the “Husband in Law” podcast, which shares stories of love, marriage, children, divorce, religion, remarriage and co-parenting. The episodes are meant to help people going through challenging situations to not feel alone.

“I can’t help but think how much something like this would have helped me when we got divorced,” Frew said.

“Sometimes your life doesn’t go how you think it should, and it helps if someone gives you ways to think about it differently.” CW

Kerry Clift Spencer, left, in 2000, posing for a wedding photo with her now ex-husband.

“There’s this idea that a successful marriage does not end,” says Kerry Clift Spencer. “Steve and I had a great marriage, and it ended.”

Jessica Frew (center) co-hosts a podcast with her current and former husbands.

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Best in Dough

Thoughts on the doughnut innovation in Utah.

BY ALEX SPRINGER comments@cityweekly.net

@captainspringer

Ilike sweets and desserts as much as the next guy, but I wouldn’t necessarily call myself a “dessert person.” That said, the past few weeks have really found me indulging my sweet tooth.

I was scratching my head about this phe nomenon until I saw that the Sugar High Dessert Festival (sugarhighevents.com) is back with their second annual event this weekend. I attended the inaugural Sugar High last year with my daughter, and we ate so much candy, doughnuts, cookies, popcorn, hand pies and cake that we just threw the car in neutral and towed it back home ourselves.

The event clearly impacted my annual circadian rhythms to satiate an inhuman number of sweet treats, so here we are. This particular strain of saccharine fever has only been kept at bay by doughnuts, and plenty of them. This craving led me to a few doughnut innovators that have helped me recapture my appreciation of this nearperfect treat, and God bless them every one.

Though mochi doughnuts have been around for the last 20 years or so, we’ve only recently seen these Hawaiian sweets make their way to the Wasatch Front. These tasty treats are easily identifiable by their wavy ring, which is made from eight dough balls that get fried together. Currently, the

best places to snag some of these are Momi Donuts (158 S. Rio Grande Street, Ste. B, 801-508-4615, momidonuts.com) and Mochinut (2142 S. Highland Drive, 385-3008360, mochinututah.com).

Mochi doughnuts’ main difference from raised and cake doughnuts comes from the use of the chewy mochigome, a glutinous Japanese rice cake, in its dough. The blend results in an extremely light texture that brings a toothsome chew to each bite. The flavors are usually imparted by a glaze or topping; I’m sure there are mochi dough nuts with flavored dough out there some where, but for the most part you see them iced, frosted or otherwise slathered in some sugary goodness. Both Momi and Mochinut are primo examples of this vibrant dessert, and I just might like them better than the traditional doughnuts I grew up with—but I am still processing this bombshell of a re alization, so don’t quote me on that just yet.

At Momi Donuts, the strawberry glazed doughnut ($2.75) is my current favorite. It matches that lovely texture with a straw berry flavor that subtly complements the doughnut itself. This is such an airy and effortless morsel of sweetness and I appreci ate the fact that I can eat three or four at a time without experiencing the food lag that I get from more traditional doughnuts.

I did make the mistake of thinking the Butterfinger mochi doughnut ($9 for three doughnuts) at Mochinut would be the same experience. While the mochi doughnut itself remains its light and fluffy self, the richness of the chocolate frosting and But terfinger bits was enough to force me to throw in the towel after just one. So, the moral of the story is that all mochi dough nuts are not created equal.

Heading back down to my stomping grounds of South Jordan, a new spot called Hello Sugar (11429 District Main Drive,

Ste. 100, 385-406-6626, hellosugardo nuts.com) has been making waves among doughnut enthusiasts. This Washingtonbased business recently expanded to Utah, whose love of ice cream, mixed sodas and cuteness is well-matched to the Hello Sug ar concept.

Hello Sugar has opted for traditional doughnuts but smaller, which may not seem like that revolutionary of an idea, but just hear me out. Where we, as a soci ety, have bet all our chips on the bigger-isbetter model, there is something to be said about the appeal of bite-sized doughnuts.

At Hello Sugar, you can get a box of doughnuts called the Carousel ($13) that gets you one sample of each flavor on the menu—around 16 doughnuts total. For me, this is ideal—I’m a busy guy, so giving me one bite of 16 different flavors just seems more efficient than trying to eat 16 regularsized doughnuts. You get it, right?

Flavor-wise, there’s not a bad doughnut on the menu, though the Starburst is my current fave—just a regular ol’ doughnut topped with a colorful swirl of sherbet-fla vored icing. It’s a lovely pop of flavor, and perfectly embodies the Hello Sugar con cept. In addition to serving adorable little doughnuts sprinkled liberally with edible glitter, Hello Sugar also serves ice cream and blended soft drinks, each of which get topped with a small stack of their signature doughnuts.

While I am not looking forward to the moment when all this sugar consumption causes me to crash and burn—I have been riding pretty high for the past four weeks— it’s been a really good month for sweets overall. I figure once my daughter and I hit up the Sugar High event this weekend, I’ll be ready to push pause on this debauched month of sugary indulgences. For at least a week or so. CW

onTAPonTAP

2 Row Brewing

6856 S. 300 West, Midvale 2RowBrewing.com

Avenues Proper 376 8th Ave, SLC avenuesproper.com

On Tap: Less- West Coast IPA

Bewilder Brewing

445 S. 400 West, SLC BewilderBrewing.com

On Tap: Gluten Reduced Kolsch

Bohemian Brewery

94 E. Fort Union Blvd, Midvale BohemianBrewery.com

Bonneville Brewery

1641 N. Main, Tooele BonnevilleBrewery.com

On Tap: Peaches and Cream Ale

Craft by Proper 1053 E. 2100 So., SLC craftbyproper.com

On Tap: Do Less - West Coast IPA

Desert Edge Brewery 273 Trolley Square, SLC DesertEdgeBrewery.com

On Tap: Orange Sienna Blood Orange Sour

Epic Brewing Co. 825 S. State, SLC EpicBrewing.com

On Tap: Imperial Pumpkin Porter

Fisher Brewing Co. 320 W. 800 South, SLC FisherBeer.com

On Tap: Fisher Beer

Grid City Beer Works

333 W. 2100 South, SLC GridCityBeerWorks.com

On Tap: Extra Pale Ale

Hopkins Brewing Co. 1048 E. 2100 South, SLC HopkinsBrewingCompany.com

On Tap: Old Merchant

Kiitos Brewing 608 W. 700 South, SLC KiitosBrewing.com

Level Crossing Brewing Co. 2496 S. West Temple, S. Salt Lake LevelCrossingBrewing.com

On Tap: Zappa Hops Philly Sour IPA

Tuesday Nights = Game Night!

Moab Brewing

686 S. Main, Moab TheMoabBrewery.com

On Tap: Squeaky Bike Nut Brown

Mountain West Cider

425 N. 400 West, SLC MountainWestCider.com

On Tap: Sweet Herbed Hard Cider

Offset Bier Co 1755 Bonanza Dr Unit C, Park City offsetbier.com/

On Tap: DOPO IPA

Ogden River Brewing

358 Park Blvd, Ogden OgdenRiverBrewing.com

On Tap: Injector Hazy IPA

Policy Kings Brewery

223 N. 100 West, Cedar City PolicyKingsBrewery.com

Proper Brewing 857 S. Main, SLC

ProperBrewingCo.com

On Tap: East Side Paradise - Rice Lager

Red Rock Brewing 254 So. 200 West RedRockBrewing.com

On Tap: Roggen Rock Rye Ale

Red Rock Fashion Place 6227 So. State Redrockbrewing.com

On Tap: Ginger Gose

Red Rock Kimball Junction Redrockbrewing.com 1640 Redstone Center

On Tap: Scottish Ale

RoHa Brewing Project 30 Kensington Ave, SLC RoHaBrewing.com

On Tap: FRESHIES IPA

Roosters Brewing

Multiple Locations

RoostersBrewingCo.com

On Tap: Cosmic Autumn Rebellion

SaltFire Brewing

2199 S. West Temple, South Salt Lake SaltFireBrewing.com

On Tap: Punk as Fuck IIIPA

Salt Flats Brewing

2020 Industrial Circle, SLC SaltFlatsBeer.com

On Tap: Oktoberfest Vienna Lager

Scion Cider Bar 916 Jefferson St W, SLC Scionciderbar.com

On Tap: Original Sin Pineapple Haze 6% ABV

Shades Brewing

154 W. Utopia Ave, South Salt Lake ShadesBrewing.beer

On Tap: Triple Fruited Sour Slushies

A list of what local craft breweries and cider houses have on tap this week

Silver Reef

4391 S. Enterprise Drive, St. George StGeorgeBev.com

Squatters

147 W. Broadway, SLC Squatters.com

Strap Tank Brewery

Multiple Locations StrapTankBrewery.com

Springville On Tap: PB Rider, Peanut Butter Stout / Lehi On Tap: 2-Stroke, Vanilla Mocha Porter

Stratford Proper 1588 Stratford Ave., SLC stratfordproper.com

On Tap: Lake Effect Gose

TF Brewing 936 S. 300 West, SLC TFBrewing.com

On Tap: Edel Pils

Talisman Brewing Co. 1258 Gibson Ave, Ogden TalismanBrewingCo.com

On Tap: Hot Girl Summer- Lavender Honey Wheat

Uinta Brewing

1722 S. Fremont Drive, SLC UintaBrewing.com

On Tap: Was Angeles Craft Beer

UTOG 2331 Grant Ave, Ogden UTOGBrewing.com

On Tap: Trail Rye’d - Amber Rye Ale 5% abv

Vernal Brewing 55 S. 500 East, Vernal VernalBrewing.com

Wasatch

2110 S. Highland Drive, SLC WasatchBeers.com

Zion Brewery

95 Zion Park Blvd, Springdale ZionBrewery.com

Zolupez

205 W. 29th Street #2, Ogden Zolupez.com

OPENING SOON!

Helper Beer

159 N Main Street Helper, UT 84526

Apex Brewing

2285 S Main Street Salt Lake City, UT 84115

Prodigy Brewing 25 W Center St Logan, UT 84321

Inspiration Libations

The gods will love these mortal offerings

BY MIKE RIEDEL comments@cityweekly.net @utahbeer

Shades - Painapple Cocokiller : This beer was inspired by a cocktail called the Painkiller, which was made fa mous by the Soggy Dollar Bar, a hotspot in the British Virgin Islands. It’s quite simi lar to the piña colada, except this has a bit of nutmeg added to make it different. I thought the nutmeg may be off-putting, but it actually works.

A stream of bubbles ascends with a light yellow tint, flowing up from the beer as it pours and giving it a lovely light golden hue. Over time, the bubbles condense on the surface of the beer, forming a thick layer of white froth and exposing a slightly hazy orange-yellow beer underneath. The thick head of foam quickly diminishes, leaving a beautiful layer of foamy lace on the glass’s sides.

The aroma has a noticeable amount of tartness mixed in with a distinct aroma of pineapple and coconut. Both a strong milky cream scent and a mild citrus sweet ness of orange, tangerine and nutmeg are present at the same time.

The flavor starts off with a bread base flavor and a slightly sweet pineapple and coconut essence. There are some tropical fruit tastes up front as well, with notes of tangerine and banana being the most pre dominant. As the flavor develops, the fruit flavors all slightly wane but are gradually replaced with a sweetness reminiscent of caramel and nutmeg; the taste of milk or crème emerges simultaneously on the tongue. A slightly strange touch of fruited wheat bread lingers on the tongue, along with notes of some mustiness and a little

bit of hay. Due to the light carbonation, the body of the beer is smooth and creamy. I thought nitro conditioning would be nice here, but I think CO2 lends itself better, and would keep it from becoming cloying.

Verdict : If you like piña coladas—even if you don’t like getting caught in the rain— you should enjoy this offering, even with the nutmeg addition.

TF - La Neige: This West Coast-inspired IPA features Cascade and Strata hops. This beer was made in conjunction with Salo mon Skis and Snowboards to celebrate the company’s 75th anniversary. A percentage of proceeds from this beer will go to Pro tect Our Winters.

This East Coast-meets-West Coast IPA pours an unfiltered light caramel body with two-fingers of white head that lasts about as long as a returned missionary’s courtship. Many lacing remnants linger in sticky rings. Although aesthetically darker than I’ve come to anticipate from the new wave of IPAs, it looks wonderful. Citrus, pine, caramel, passion fruit, dank hop resin and gritty pale malt all emerge on the nose. This one is “danker” than the majority of TF’s recent releases.

Juicy grapefruit and pine resin come forward on the first taste in almost equal amounts—just enough to make my tongue tingle from the hop notes, but not quite enough to overpower the grainy, pale malt sweetness that appears as caramel, honey and a little toffee. Don’t worry, though, because the end delivers a powerful pine hop kick to the face: a pine-forward bitter finish that is both dry and thirst-quenching, with great carbonation, a lovely mineral quality and a soft, velvety yet substantial medium body. It’s excellent, though I’ve come to expect nothing less from Templin’s IPAs lately.

Verdict : Great stuff—nice sweetness, complexity and balance to this IPA. The ap peal here is mostly that it works for both camps of IPA lovers. I would certainly rec ommend going for this if you happen to find yourself in SLC, as this beer is fresh and newly released.

You can enjoy these in either establish ment or to go. There should be plenty to go around, even though they are seasonal re leases. As always, cheers! CW

MIKE

MIKE

BY ALEX SPRINGER

Remembering Valter Nassi

The local dining community was shocked and sad dened to hear about the passing of Valter Nassi, owner of Valter’s Osteria (173 W. 300 South) and Cucina Toscana (282 S. 300 West) in Downtown SLC. Nassi’s culinary skill and welcoming personality made him a local legend, turning Valter’s Osteria into one of the most popular dining destinations in town. Nassi’s pres ence on the floor of his restaurants—taking photos with local diners, members of the Utah Jazz and celebrities like Hugh Jackman—was one of the many things that made him a unique and lovable fixture in our restaurant scene. Our hearts go out to Nassi’s family, friends and everyone who found a seat at his ever-welcoming table.

Wine Clubs Come to Utah

Locals envious of wine club memberships in other metropolitan areas can cease their green-eyed stares thanks to Vin 7000 (vin7000.com). Based in Park City, Vin 7000 is a wine brokerage that specializes in smaller, family-owned wineries, and it revealed its plans for its local wine clubs at the Park City Wine Festival last week. At the moment, interested wine enthusiasts can choose from six unique regional wine clubs to join, each of which will offer several varietals that are unique to club members and otherwise unavailable in Utah. If you’re a wine nerd with some cash to burn, this is a great opportunity to stoke that enthusiasm.

Park City Dine About

In other Park City news, it’s once again time for the Park City Dine About, which takes place from Oct. 1 - 9. This is an excellent opportunity to sample some of Park City’s finest restaurants, 15 of which will be par ticipating. Each restaurant will be offering two-course lunches and three-course dinners at screaming good deals—from $15-$25 for lunch and $30-$50 for din ner. Among the participating restaurants are Dos Olas Cantina, Flanagan’s on Main, Handle, Purple Sage, tupelo and Fletcher’s, just to name a few. Now is a great time to get those mountain autumnal vibes while dining in style with some Park City favorites.

Quote of the Week: “Celebrate the people and let them enjoy the magic. What more in life do you want as a human being than this?” –Valter Nassi

Mishandled in the Wind

Blonde loses the humanity of Norma Jeane in portray ing the tragedy of “Marilyn Monroe.”

BY SCOTT RENSHAW scottr@cityweekly.net

@scottrenshaw

You don’t need to have read Joyce Carol Oates’ novel Blonde to under stand that the Marilyn Monroe por trayed in it is not really Marilyn Monroe, but “Marilyn Monroe.” She’s a fiction, and a fiction twice-removed at that: both the fictionalized version of Norma Jeane Baker created by the author, and the blonde sex goddess manufactured by studio publicity and Norma Jeane’s own ability to disasso ciate. Writer/director Andrew Dominik’s adaptation was no more meant to be a biop ic than Oates’ book was meant to be a biog raphy; however much their events strayed from what “really happened,” both are at tempts to wrestle a human character out of an icon.

There is, however, a fundamental challenge in taking Oates’ densely literary prose and attempting to capture the same ideas cinematically. While the novel winds its way through the point of view of other characters, its fundamental goal is taking someone who was almost always first and foremost an image, and bringing us inside her head. Dominik’s Blonde, on that level, is almost built to fail. The internal must be come external, and the spectacle of Norma Jeane’s life of tragedies overwhelms the possibility of knowing how she actually felt about them.

For the most part, Dominik keeps things chronological, starting with the young

Norma Jeane’s life with her mentally un stable mother (Julianne Nicholson) in 1930s Los Angeles, followed by years in an orphanage when her mother is institution alized. But soon we pick up the aspiring actress Norma Jeane (Ana de Armas) get ting her shot at a studio contract, becoming the beloved, lusted-after movie star who ends up in highly-publicized marriages to The Ex-Athlete (Bobby Cannavale) and The Playwright (Adrien Brody).

Refusing to use the names “Joe DiMag gio” and “Arthur Miller” feels as artificial here as it did in Oates’ novel, while weirdly Dominik does eventually name the studio executive who rapes Norma Jeane in his office. That’s perhaps the least of the chal lenges the filmmaker faces in his adapta tion, however, as he pares down more than 700 pages of text in ways that lose crucial components like Norma Jeane’s first, teen age marriage, and its connection to the way her voluptuous body shaped her doomed destiny.

What he loses in narrative detail, Dominik works overtime to make up for with eye-catching visuals. Some of them work magnificently, like a scene of “Mari lyn” arriving at a movie premiere with crowds of men yelling after her, their mouths digitally distorted into gaping

maws, or a shot of Norma Jeane and her “throuple” Hollywood-scion lovers Char lie Chaplin Jr. (Xavier Samuel) and Ed ward G. Robinson Jr. (Even Williams) with their bodies stretched and twisted into funhouse-mirror taffy. And others just feel frustratingly ill-conceived, like shifting from color to black-and-white seemingly at random throughout the 176-minute run ning time.

It’s hard to argue that Dominik isn’t do ing his damnedest to make Blonde some thing that’s not purely literary—which is why I’m not sure it ever could have worked fully. De Armas delivers a terrific perfor mance, evoking the way Norma Jeane had to find “Marilyn” within herself before be ing able to play that role, let alone any other role “Marilyn” was being asked to play. But the film short-changes the notion of Norma Jeane as an intuitive, brilliant actor, and the passion she brought to her work, in or der to focus on the awful events in her per sonal life: sexual assault; an abortion that may or not have been her choice; domes tic violence; a miscarriage of a later preg nancy. It becomes awfully hard to focus on Norma Jeane’s feelings about these events when the images on screen are presenting a uterus-cam, or John F. Kennedy forcing her to give him a blow job.

There are moments when Dominik’s ver sion of Blonde feels inspired by Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me, with the score by Nick Cave and Warren Ellis providing the un settling Angelo Badalamenti undertones to the tale of a beauty whose backstory hid horrors and particularly damaging dad dy issues. This narrative, however, has to keep pushing through the “Marilyn Mon roe” timeline, losing that thread of trying to survive a haunted existence. Whatever cocktail of fact and fiction Oates’ Blonde served up, it was driven by a desire to portray its heroine as more than a victim. For too much of this film, she remains the icon—“Marilyn,” rather than Norma Jeane, defined by what killed her rather than who she was when she was still alive.

CW

Armas

Brody

Cannavale

NC-17

Ana de Armas in Blonde

Bubblegum Popping

SLC artist Suchii gets both fun and serious with debut EP Summer on Venus

BY EMILEE ATKINSON eatkinson@cityweekly.net

The idea of following your dreams can be scary and intimidating. What if you don’t succeed? What if things don’t go the way you planned? Often ques tions like these will swim in your head, ul timately leading to not taking the chance. For pop artist Suchii, he decided that tak ing the chance was worth it. In 2020, he came to Salt Lake ready to start on a new path.

Suchii was offered a job here in Salt Lake City in July 2020 and accepted, having vis ited the city before and loving it. But since he was relocating from Indiana smack dab in the middle of the pandemic, things weren’t as festive as normal in SLC with COVID in full swing. “It was so strange, I got here and nothing was going on,” he said. Still, moving to the state capital city was a necessary restart for the pop singer. “It’s been paying dividends ever since,” he says.

Though he always had a deep love for music, Suchii says didn’t get serious about creating until earlier this year. “I’ve always been a writer in my heart,” he says. “I was always around music a lot growing up, I played music throughout school and sang a bit, but I was scared of taking that leap to actually have music recorded and have a good enough inspiration to make music. Life events in 2022 told me to get my ass up and the fire was under me, and I took it and ran with it.”

Discovering new music and branching out from our parents is a rite of passage, a big part of growing up. Suchii recalls start ing to find music that really resonated with him when he was in middle school—and it

was bubblegum pop and R&B artists like New Edition, Boyz II Men, Hi-Five and Des tiny’s Child that made a lasting impression on his musical interests, guiding him on his own journey as a musician. “It really resonated with me as a young kid, and it was super appealing to me,” he says. “Be ing a teenager and going into a deep dive and getting to choose the music I want to listen to, and it’s not just based on my par ents and it’s not their influence.”

Suchii made his debut earlier this year in April with his single “Pit a Pat,” an emo tionally-charged song about an ex, and not being over them. Soon after, Suchii released his next single, “White Angel,” a “chill-pop track with a catchy chorus and distinct background effects. “I feel like this is becoming my niche,” he told City Weekly back in June. “With ‘Pit a Pat’ and ‘White Angel,’ you have the two spectrums of my songwriting. On a good day, I could be more methodical, but with ‘White Angel,’ I just wanted to write a song about cocaine,” he said. “I wanted it to be super fun and catchy.”

His new EP, Summer on Venus, exempli fies this range that Suchii utilizes in his writing. Some tracks dig deeper and with more meaningful, while others remain at surface level, but still allow listeners to have a good time. The overarching theme of the EP is summer and the wide range of feelings that come with it; especially if you had a romantic fling. “Summer on Venus is a play on astrology signs, where Venus represents love, so it’s a summer of falling in and out of love. Through the track listing I wanted to have that high of somebody hav ing a crush, and then that crush developing into love, and then reaching that climaxing point where they fall out of love with their crush and the rest is just heartbreak,” he says.

Being a queer artist, Suchii considers representation important, and he wanted to see more of it reflected in his music. The title track “Fila Fila” is a love song, with a little bit of a twist: Each verse has different pronouns used—“he,” “she” and “they”— so that those who identify with different pronouns each have a verse to sing. “They may not have the whole song,” he says, “but there’s a section that they can sing.”

Following “Fila Fila” is the aforemen tioned “White Angel.” The EP starts out

with the sweet love song made for all, then goes into the catchy dance song that’s more geared towards having a good time. Then we start getting to the heartbreak Suchii mentioned. “LMOR (Interlude)” starts out with a voice speaking, “Hey, is this what we’re doing? I gave you everything you wanted and… Just text me back.” Listen ers will feel the frustration in the track, as most have probably experienced this a time or two—especially those who have been jilted.

As a Black, queer pop artist in SLC, Suchii feels like he’s found a good commu nity and is excited to build his fanbase. In tersectionality is important to him, and he implores those with similar backgrounds

to follow their dreams. “Take a bet on your self,” he says. “If you don’t believe in your self, no one else will. Of course there will be peaks and troughs, but as long as you keep on believing in yourself, you’re going to achieve results that you never thought you could.”

Future live performances are yet to be scheduled for Suchii, but the best way to keep up with him is on his Instagram, @ suchiisound. He wants fans to know that he loves making fun music for them to enjoy. Hopefully his music can help heal those who had a tumultuous summer love.

“Sometimes you just want to dance the tears away,” he says. “I think that repre sents my music to a T.” CW

Suchii

GIA HARRIS

By Emilee Atkinson

The Johns, Pale Dream, Del Perro @ Boardwalk Sound 9/30

Boardwalk Sound hosts a trio of local favor ites for the last weekend of September. The Johns, who have been busy the last year, kick off the show. Since their first single release in 2021, the band has released a full debut album, Taxi to San Fran, as well as an EP, Five Dimension Place. The Johns show case a fun energy and sense of humor on their TikTok account, @thejohnsband. In one of their videos, they say they’re a band made up of “a bunch of teenagers that dress like homeless people.” Pale Dream has also been busy, steadily releasing singles since their debut EP Velvet released last year. Their lat est single, “Curse,” is the title track for their upcoming album coming out in October. The band initially formed in 2018 with Mari Ericksen (drums, percussion, vocals) and Trey Hoskins (guitar, lead vocals) down in St. George. Now a fully formed group, they call Salt Lake their home, playing in shows all over town. Lively indie group Del Perro rounds out the evening at this energetic show. No full album or EP from this group yet, but their singles “Decaf” and “The Introvert” are superb listens. Catch this trio of SLC locals at The Boardwalk Sound on Friday, Sept. 30 at 7 p.m. Tickets for the all-ages show are $8 before and $12 at the door. Find tickets at theboardwalksound. com. (Emilee Atkinson)

19 Miles Per Hour Album Release @

The Velour 10/1

19 Miles Per Hour have been making a splash in the local music scene since 2019. They scored a first-place finish at 2019’s BYU Battle of the Bands, and earned runner-up in the same competition a year later. 19 Miles Per Hour’s infectious, energetic pop-punk vibe is hard driving and entertaining; the band wants to create music that people can relate to and enjoy. “Music brings people together and it is important for everyone to know they aren’t alone,” they say on their website. “We want our music to make a difference in the world. To help people. People need to know that all the things they are feeling and experiencing are temporary, and that they aren’t alone. The world needs more people to focus on doing good, and writing and playing music is our way of contributing to that.” The group exemplifies these ideals, not only in their music, but their actions as well, as they’ve raised money for the LGBTQ+ community and the Alzheimer’s Association with proceeds from past shows. Amid helping their community, 19 MPH release their latest album Inner Thoughts on Oct. 1, at The Velour, where they’ll play the new album in its entirety for fans. “We have really poured our hearts out in this album and we want to cel ebrate the release with all of YOU,” they said on their Instagram profile. Catch the release party for Inner Thoughts at The Velour on Saturday, Oct. 1 at 8 p.m. Tickets for the all-ages show are $12 and can be found at 24tix.com. (EA)

The Johns

MUSIC PICKS

By Emilee Atkinson

The Afghan Whigs, Pink Mountaintops @ The Commonwealth Room 10/2

Soul-grunge group Afghan Whigs rose to fame in the late ’80s/ early ’90s, riding the grunge wave of popularity that washed over the world at that time. They’ve gone through ups and downs like many bands that have been around for so long–breakups, reunions–but the band is going strong in 2022 with their latest album How Do You Burn? It’s the ninth release for the band in 26 years, and of course it was created during the pandemic. That pro cess ended up being a safe haven for the band as they recorded, especially for singer Greg Dulli. Not everyone could get together and record, so a lot was done remotely—which was better than the alternative of not recording at all, according to Dulli. “That was my escape, and I was building my escape on a daily basis,” Dulli told Forbes at the beginning of September. “The record to me is bright, it has light in it, more so than several of the others, but it’s not without its portent or darkness.” Joining the grunge veterans are Pink Mountaintops, an indie rock band originally from Canada. Their latest release comes eight years after their previous one, and is a wild ride. Peacock Pools is “the sonic equivalent of falling down a thousand rabbit holes at once and landing somewhere gloriously strange,” according to the group’s Bandcamp profile. Catch this 21+ show on Sunday, Oct. 2 at 8 p.m. Tickets are $42-$150 and can be found at thestateroompresents.com. (EA)

Paramore @ The Saltair 10/4

After a brief hiatus, beloved pop-punk group Paramore stop at The Saltair as part of their fall tour, bringing us new music for the first time in five years. For many, Paramore qualifies as a quintessential pop-punk/emo group. They took the world by storm in the early aughts, notably with their sophomore album Riot!. It’s been some time since Paramore hit the Beehive State, last playing at the USANA Amphitheater on their After Laughter Summer tour in July 2018. The group’s new single “This is Why” drops Sept. 28, and fans are hoping to hear about a sixth album following the release of this single. “We wrote and tracked something we loved and it actual ly surprised us,” singer Hayley Williams told Rolling Stone in January of this year. “We kept joking it was all downhill from that point, but thank God we’ve been surprised a lot throughout this whole thing. I’m always waiting for the moment for us to know we’re onto something new and we’re not just rehashing the same shit. It was ‘Ain’t It Fun’ for our self-titled record, and ‘Hard Times’ or ‘Told You So’ for After Laughter.” Seeing Paramore back in action will be a treat for longtime fans on Tuesday, Oct. 4 at 7:30 p.m. Tickets for the all-ages event are $100 and can be found at thesaltair.com. (EA)

Leetham EP release party ft.: Cera Gibson, TAG!, HASHA @ Kilby Court 10/5

Another release party show kicks off the month of October, this time with queer pop artist Leetham and a string of guests. Leetham has spent years playing in bands, but has recently set out on his own as a pop artist. He’s been steadily releasing singles since last year, but his first self-titled EP, Leetham, is finally out this October. Leetham always pushes to create new and interesting music for fans. He’s spent years playing piano, but has also been in guitar lessons, as well as picking up the bass and trying out drums. He told City Weekly back in June that his comfort levels are getting better in the studio also. “I think that a lot of pop music, you get that cookie-cutter stuff,” Leetham says. “At the same time, if it works, it works. You make the music you want to make. And if you’re a professional, you’re making music that’s going to have to appeal to people. For me, personally, I try to be as original as possible, while bringing some familiarity to my songs,” he said. Several other solid local performers join the headliner. Cera Gibson had an EP drop at the beginning of this year. Entitled Uninspired, the EP is “a dark, hip hop infused styling, Cera’s music offers a familiarity in tone that’s soothingly twisted,” according to her website. This show isn’t one to miss on Wednesday, Oct. 5 at 7:30 p.m. Tickets for the all-ages show are $12 and can be found at kilbycourt.com. (EA)

CHRIS CUFFARO

ELKE MUSEK

The Afgan Whigs Paramore

Why Do Different Cannabis Strains Give Me Different Effects?

Cole Fullmer – Publisher at Salt Baked City

When you drink alcohol, you can expect the same effects to come through every time you sip the sauce. Of course, Tequila can make some drinkers a little crazy and whiskey can make my ex-girlfriend mean, but overall you pretty much know what you’re in for when cracking that beer or pouring that cocktail.

So, why do different strains of cannabis come with a slew of different effects when you consume them?

Some weed can make you energetic, another strain can put you to sleep, and another can give you the munchies. The effects are quite literally endless and it’s a roll of the dice every time you’ve sparked one up if you don’t have strain information or prior experience with the particular herb you’re puffing on.

Most Cannabis consumers categorize strain types into three groups: indicas, sativas, and hybrids. While Indicas are known to induce sedation and/or couch lock, Sativa varieties uplift with cerebral effects. Hybrids live somewhere in-between.

The question remains, do plant types have anything to do with effect? Are Indicas truly sedating, and are Sativas really uplifting? So far, science says no.

Widespread interbreeding has largely destroyed any differences in effect between the two, which essentially makes everything a Hybrid, and scientific research says the same. Research suggests that we pay more attention to Cannabinoids. Things like a strain’s THC, CBD, CBN or CBG, and Terpenes.

So, if we’re supposed to abandon this age-old Indica vs. Sativa debate, what’s the best way to select a cannabis strain? The weed nerds suggest we start shopping for terpenes instead of Indica or Sativa to achieve the desired effects.

Terpenes and Cannabinoids bind to receptors in the brain. Potential terpene effects may change depending on what other compounds are present. So far, over 100 individual terpenes have been identified from cannabis plants—all developed as protection from predators and to attract pollinators. Researchers believe each individual terpene may produce its own unique set of physiological effects, such as enhanced relaxation or sharpened focus.

Like fingerprints, we now know every cannabis strain has its own terpene profile. We can use these profiles by considering individual affects, and by combining different compounds for a variety of benefits. When we are purposeful, we can create the perfect terpene cocktail.

Make sure to flip to the Salt Baked City next week to learn about the most common terpenes in Utah’s cannabis and how to find them.

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

BY ROB BREZSNY

Gotorealastrology.comforRobBrezsny’sexpandedweeklyaudiohoroscopesanddailytext-messagehoroscopes.

Audiohoroscopesalsoavailablebyphoneat877-873-4888or900-950-7700.

ARIES (March 21-April 19)

Poet Susan Howe describes poetry as an “amorous search under the sign of love for a remembered time at the pitch-dark fringes of evening when we gathered together to bless and believe.” I’d like to use that lyrical assessment to describe your life in the coming days—or at least what I hope will be your life. In my astrological opinion, it’s a favorable time to intensify your quest for interesting adventures in intimacy; to seek out new ways to imagine and create togetherness; to collaborate with allies in creating brave excursions into synergy.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

Social reformer Frederick Douglass (1817-1895) had a growl ery. It was a one-room stone cabin where he escaped to think deep thoughts, work on his books and literally growl. As a genius who escaped enslavement and spent the rest of his life fighting for the rights of his fellow Black people, he had lots of reasons to snarl, howl and bellow as well as growl. The coming weeks would be an excellent time for you to find or create your own growlery, Taurus. The anger you feel will be especially likely to lead to constructive changes. The same is true about the deep thoughts you summon in your growlery: They will be extra potent in help ing you reach wise practical decisions.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)

“Conduct your blooming in the noise and whip of the whirl wind,” wrote Gemini poet Gwendolyn Brooks. I love that advice! The whirlwind is her metaphor for the chaos of everyday life. She was telling us that we shouldn’t wait to ripen ourselves until the daily rhythm is calm and smooth. Live wild and free right now! That’s always good advice, in my opinion, but it will be especially apropos for you in the coming weeks. Now is your time to “endorse the splendor splashes” and “sway in wicked grace,” as Brooks would say.

CANCER (June 21-July 22)

“Don’t look away,” advised novelist Henry Miller in a letter to his lover. “Look straight at everything. Look it all in the eye, good and bad.” While that advice is appealing, I don’t endorse it unconditionally. I’m a Cancerian, and I sometimes find value in gazing at things sideways, or catching reflections in mirrors, or even turning my attention away for a while. In my view, we Crabs have a special need to be self-protective and self-nurturing. And to accomplish that, we may need to be evasive and elusive. In my astrological opinion, the next two weeks will be one of these times. I urge you to gaze directly and engage point-blank only with what’s good for you.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)

Tips to get the most out of the next three weeks: 1. Play at least as hard as you work. 2. Give yourself permission to do anything that has integrity and is fueled by compassion. 3. Assume there is no limit to how much generous joie de vivre you can summon and express. 4. Fondle and nuzzle with eager partners as much as possible. And tell them exactly where and how it feels good. 5. Be magnanimous in every gesture, no matter how large or small. 6. Even if you don’t regard yourself as a skillful singer, use singing to transform yourself out of any mood you don’t want to stay in.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

In the coming weeks, you should refrain from wrestling with problems that resist your solutions. Be discerning about how you use your superior analytical abilities. Devote yourself solely to manageable dilemmas that are truly responsive to your intel ligent probing. PS: I feel sorry for people who aren’t receptive to your input, but you can’t force them to give up their ignorance or suffering. Go where you’re wanted. Take power where it’s offered. Meditate on the wisdom of Anaïs Nin: “You cannot save people. You can only love them.”

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh was born under the sign of Libra. He said, “The root-word ‘Buddha’ means to wake up, to know, to understand; and he or she who wakes up and under stands is called a Buddha.” According to him, the spiritual teacher Siddhartha Gautama who lived in ancient India was one of many Buddhas. By my reckoning, you’ll have a higher chance than usual to be like one of these Buddhas in the coming weeks. Waking up will be your specialty. You will have an extraordinary capacity to burst free of illusions and murky misapprehensions. I hope you take full advantage. Deeper understandings are nigh.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

I invite you to be the sexiest and most mysterious Scorpio you can be in the coming weeks. Here are ideas to get you started.

1. Sprinkle the phrase “in accordance with prophecy” into your conversations. 2. Find an image that symbolizes rebirth and revitalization arising out of disruption. Meditate on it daily until you actually experience rebirth and revitalization arising out of disruption. 3. Be kind and merciful to the young souls you know who are living their first lifetimes. 4. Collect deep, dark secrets from the interesting people you know. Employ this information to plan how you will avoid the trouble they endured. 5. Buy two deluxe squirt guns and two knives made of foam rubber. Use them to wage playful fights with those you love.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

There’s an ancient Greek saying, “I seek the truth, by which no one ever was truly harmed.” I regard that as a fine motto for you Sagittarians. When you are at your best and brightest, you are in quest of the truth. And while your quests may sometimes dis turb the status quo, they often bring healthy transformations. The truths you discover may rattle routines and disturb habits, but they ultimately lead to greater clarity and authenticity. Now is an excellent time to emphasize this aspect of your nature.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

Let’s imagine you are in your office or on the job or sitting at your kitchen table. With focused diligence, you’re working on solving a problem or improving a situation that involves a number of people. You think to yourself, “No one seems to be aware that I am quietly toiling here behind the scenes to make the magic happen.” A few days or a few weeks later, your efforts have been successful. The problem is resolved or the situation has improved. But then you hear the people involved say, “Wow, I wonder what happened? It’s like things got fixed all by them selves.” If a scenario like this happens, Capricorn, I urge you to speak up and tell everyone what actually transpired.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

To honor your entrance into the most expansive phase of your astrological cycle, I’m calling on the counsel of an intuitive guide named Nensi the Mercury Priestess. She offers the following advice. 1. Cultivate a mindset where you expect something unexpected to happen. 2. Fantasize about the possibility of a surprising blessing or unplanned-for miracle. 3. Imagine that a beguiling breakthrough will erupt into your rhythm. 4. Shed a few preconceptions about how your life story will unfold in the next two years. 5. Boost your trust in your deep self’s innate wisdom. 6. Open yourself more to receiving help and gifts.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)

Author Colin Wilson describes sex as “a craving for the mingling of consciousness, whose symbol is the mingling of bodies. Every time partners slake their thirst in the strange waters of the other’s identity, they glimpse the immensity of their freedom.”

I love this way of understanding the erotic urge, and recommend you try it out. You will have extra power to refine and expand the way you experience blending and merging. If you’re fuzzy about the meaning of “synergy” and “symbiosis,” I suggest you look them up. They should be themes for you in the coming weeks.

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Last week’s answers

The Buzz and the Bees

It’s almost time for the Boys of Summer to finish their seasons and for the top base ball teams to vie to get into the World Series starting Oct. 28. Our local Salt Lake Bees haven’t had a swell season this year, and, rumor has it, we might not be seeing Bees baseball at all after 2024. That’s when the lease lapses on Smith’s Ballpark at the corner of 1300 South and West Temple in Salt Lake City.

Our local ballpark—the largest stadium in the Pacific Coast League—opened in 1994 with a seating capacity of 15,411. The first team to play there was the Salt Lake Buzz, but in 2001, the name changed to the Salt Lake Stingers after it came to light Georgia Tech owned the copyright for the Buzz.

I was sad when the name changed since the honeybee is a Utah state symbol (as of 1959, the official state insect is the honey bee, the name for honeybee in the Book of Mormon is “Deseret” and our state flag has a beehive on it). The “Buzz” seemed like an appropriate name at the time.

Then-team owner Joe Buzas (a former baseballer himself) agreed to move the Port land Beavers to Salt Lake as long as the city built a new ballpark where Derks Field had been located. It opened in ’94 as Franklin Quest Field and drew almost 800,000 ticket holders in its first year.

When Buzas died in 2003, the team was purchased by the Larry H. Miller group. Af ter Miller died, his wife sold the team to Ryan Smith last year, who is also the new owner of the Utah Jazz.

But now, all may be lost, as rumors have it that a new ballpark is in the works outside of city limits with a potential MLB team replac ing our Bees.

Apparently, the Salt Lake City Council has been looking at “improving” the embattled neighborhood where the ballpark is located, possibly doing upgrades to make the venue bigger and with a vision of new commer cial properties and housing opportunities around it. Right now, the area is a mess of homeless camps and industrial spaces, with increasing incidents of crime intermingled with sweet, historic homes and beautiful, tree-lined streets.

The lease on the field expires in 2024 and the Bees will need to be re-licensed with MLB by the end of this decade. Note also that the Larry H. Miller group has purchased a ton of acreage in Daybreak and sold off part of its ownership of the Utah Jazz and Vivent Arena to a sports group—so it’s possible Utah could be home to an MLB team down the road, a far less expensive option than a vying for a professional football team!

My best memories of our Bees were watch ing Mike Trout play. After being called up to the majors—we’re the farm team for the Los Angeles Angels—he became the highestpaid baseball player in terms of total con tract value.

Trout, a three-time American League MVP, signed an extension before the 2019 season that will pay him a total of $426.5 million through 2030. When we root for the Bees, we’re rooting for the Angels, too—be fitting a saintly state, eh? n

Complete

DOWNTOWN

BY THE EDITORS AT ANDREWS McMEEL

Florida

Officials in Miami Beach, Florida, are weighing their options for dealing with the serious problem of invasive iguanas, Local 10 News reported. The city has quadrupled its budget for iguana removal and paid a hunter to shoot and collect the pesky and destructive reptiles. On Sept. 14, City Commissioner Kristen Rosen Gonzalez suggested a bounty. “I don’t know—dead or alive. But if we pay per iguana, we’re going to get more iguanas. People are going to go out and hunt them for money,” she said. A committee has been formed.

Geography Is Hard

The recently renamed Washington Commanders are, under standably, trying to drum up excitement for their new brand, but one effort went disappointingly wrong, Yahoo! Sports reported.

In Week 1 of the NFL season, an official gear truck just outside the stadium, which is located in Maryland, featured a mug with a big “W” on it and a silhouette of Washington state in the background. Of course, the Commanders’ Washington is the District of Columbia variety. The mugs were quickly removed from the inventory.

Weapon of Choice

Pennsylvania State Police were called to a home in Monroe Township on Aug. 24 where a fight had taken place, WTAJ-TV reported. One of the combatants told officers that 35-year-old Brandon Shoop of Berkeley Springs, West Virginia, had punched him after a disagreement about food. Next, he said, Shoop picked up a half of a cinder block and swung it at the victim’s head; he was able to partially duck, but the hit left a contusion behind his ear. Shoop then tried to strangle the victim but was pulled off by a female witness; he was later charged with, among other crimes, aggravated assault.

Bright Idea

An outgoing state representative from Pennsylvania who earned a DUI arrest after a crash in June has proposed a bill that would allow residents to register for a self-imposed ban on alcohol purchases, Action 4 News reported. Matthew Dowling said the law would add “another tool to an addict or alcoholic’s arsenal to help them live through recovery.” He doesn’t expect the measure to pass before he leaves office, he said, but hopes his colleagues will move it through in the future.

What’s in a Name?

Al Pacino, admittedly, has committed a whole lifetime of crimes on the screen. Now, Alpatchino Jeune, 25, is following in his footsteps in real life, The Smoking Gun reported. Jeune was arrested in early June for beating up his pregnant girlfriend, who was driving him to work. She told police she asked him to “think of his unborn child,” but he went on hitting her—so she jumped out of the car and ran to an emergency room across the street. When Jeune didn’t show up for his Sept. 1 court date, he was arrested again in Orlando, Florida, and his bond was revoked.

Oops

In a “my bad” for the ages, the City of Philadelphia erroneously chopped down 60 pounds of hops that belonged to the Philadelphia Brewing Co., Fox29-TV reported. “Despite our clear signage and fenced-off area,” the company wrote on its Instagram page, “the city ... took it upon themselves to completely destroy our hop garden,” which they claim will cost them tens of thousands of dollars. A spokesperson for the city said the incident was the result of “miscommunication and staff error” and “it appeared the lot was overgrown.”

n The Summit County (Colorado) Rescue Group was in a helicop ter on Sept. 7 looking for a lost hunter, KCNC-TV reported, when they spotted a man waving slowly and casually. The crew radioed that they “had a subject that partially matched the description ... but his backpack was upside down so it was the wrong color,” explained the group’s Anna Debattiste. “The pilot said, ‘He’s say ing hi, he doesn’t seem to be in distress,’ so they left,” she added. In fact, it was the missing hunter, and in a classic case of blamethe-victim, Debattiste said he “should have” waved aggressively with both arms overhead, or waved “a brightly colored piece of clothing.” Thankfully, the crew went back and retrieved the man, who was cold and dehydrated but otherwise unharmed.

Creme de la Weird

Ranjita Kundu of Kodameta, India, has accused her husband of steal ing and selling one of her kidneys four years ago, Oddity Central reported. Kundu recently discovered after visiting the doctor that she has only one kidney; she believes that when she was treated for kidney stones four years ago, her husband secretly arranged for one of her kidneys to be removed and sold on the black market. “I was unaware of the whole incident,” she said. She even knows who he sold it to: Asim Haldar, who also lives in her district. Kundu and her husband were married for 12 years before he took off with another woman eight months ago. Kundu said with help from his sister, he sold the organ to make up for dowry money he believed he was owed. Police have taken him into custody and are investigating.

The Aristocrats

Toby Cohen and Jonathan Neman booked a rental home in the Hamptons for two weeks beginning on Aug. 22, to the tune of $10,000. On Sept. 15, they filed a lawsuit, saying the home, owned by Agnese Melbarde and Edouard Gass, was “uninhabitable.” Why?

Because the thermostat had been set to “a minimum temperature of 70 degrees Fahrenheit and then locked,” The Daily Beast report ed. The plaintiffs and their families, who wanted the A/C set at 68 degrees, were “forced to endure continuous discomfort for the dura tion” of their holiday, which ruined it for them. When they complained to the owners, they said, they were told to “suck it up and deal.” Neman and Cohen also allege that workers showed up to spray “toxic chemicals” in the backyard during their stay, which forced them to stay inside for several hours. The suit asks for a full refund of their rental fee and “any further relief this Court deems just and proper.”

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will accpt a Bachelor’s deg, or frgn equiv, & 5 yrs of prgrssvly rspnsbl exp. Exp must inclde 2 yrs w/ each: Python; SQL; Visualization tools such as Tableau or Matplotlib; Linux; Cloud platforms such as Amazon Web Services (AWS) or Google Cloud Platform (GCP); Deep learning techniques such as Natural Language Processing (NLP) or Computer Vision (CV); Pandas and Numpy; PyTorch, Keras, or TensorFlow; Applying statistical modeling process to perform tasks such as hypothesis testing; Working with machine learning modeling techniques (such as supervised learning, clustering/ Semi supervised learning, and ensemble modeling). Option to work from home-based office exists. Must reside within Salt Lake City, Utah metropolitan area. Send resume to Luz Lara, luz.lara@mastercard.com, Finicity, 434 West Ascension Way, Salt Lake City UT 84123. Reference MC57-2022.