City Weekly December 9, 2021 by Copperfield Publishing

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Local chefs share holiday favorites with a dash of nostalgia. By Aimee L. Cook and Carolyn Campbell

CONTENTS COVER STORY

COZY CUISINE Local chefs share holiday favorites with a dash of nostalgia. By Aimee L. Cook and Carolyn Campbell

Cover design by Derek Carlisle

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OPINION A&E DINE CINEMA MUSIC COMMUNITY

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OPINION

DINE

Check out online-only columns Go to cityweekly.net for local Smart Bomb and Taking a restaurants serving you. Gander at cityweekly.net facebook.com/slcweekly

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STAY INFORMED! Want to know the latest on coronavirus? Get off Facebook and check out these three online resources: Centers for Disease Control and Prevention: cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov World Health Organization: who.int/emergencies/diseases/novel-coronavirus-2019 State of Utah Coronavirus Updates: coronavirus.utah.gov

STAFF Publisher PETE SALTAS Associate Publisher MICHAEL SALTAS Executive Editor JOHN SALTAS News Editor BENJAMIN WOOD Arts & Entertainment Editor SCOTT RENSHAW Contributing Editor JERRE WROBLE Music Editor ERIN MOORE Listings Desk KARA RHODES

Editorial Contributors KATHARINE BIELE ROB BREZSNY C AROLYN CAMPBELL AIMEE L. COOK, MIKE RIEDEL MICHAEL S. ROBINSON SR. ALEX SPRINGER Production Art Director DEREK CARLISLE Graphic Artists SOFIA CIFUENTES, CHELSEA NEIDER

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Salt Lake City Weekly is published every Thursday by Copperfield Publishing Inc. We are an independent publication dedicated to alternative news and news sources, that also serves as a comprehensive entertainment guide. 15,000 copies of Salt Lake City Weekly are available free of charge at more than 1,800 locations along the Wasatch Front. Limit one copy per reader. Additional copies of the paper can be purchased for $1 (Best of Utah and other special issues, $5) payable to Salt Lake City Weekly in advance. No person, without expressed permission of Copperfield Publishing Inc., may take more than one copy of any Salt Lake City Weekly issue. No portion of this publication may be reproduced in whole or part by any means, including electronic retrieval systems, without the written permission of the publisher. Third-class postage paid at Midvale, UT. Delivery might take up to one full week. All rights reserved.

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4 | DECEMBER 9, 2021

SOAP BOX New Glory for Utah

Utah has long contented itself with having the “Greatest Snow on Earth” and an “elevated” lifestyle. Then came the 2002 Winter Olympics, which built on the mountain snow reputation and highlighted Utah even more clearly on the map of the United States. Of course, Utah’s early reputation revolved around a new “bible,” polygamy, outstanding choir singing and the early granting of suffrage for women. Over time, the state became known for its salt water lake, its eastwest railroad linkage, low levels of unemployment, two patriotic holidays in July and a world-class film festival. It received legitimate accolades for its faith-based private welfare system, its government rainy day funds and a string of very good college football quarterbacks and lady gymnasts. But Utah’s otherwise fine reputa-

tion has been checkered by disclosure of high levels of consumer scams and bankruptcies, a wide gender pay gap, high prescription drug abuse, suicide and mental disease rates, low per-pupil spending on schools and perhaps the highest interest rates for legal loan-sharking allowed in the nation. This holiday season, for the first time, the University of Utah has provided a memorable new glory—victory in the PAC-12 Football Championship and an invitation to a “New Year’s Six” game at the Rose Bowl. Will this new bump in enthusiasm for accomplishment help the state overcome its latest not-so-cool achievement? The media is presently rolling out news that the state may be at the epicenter of suburban school district racism in America. What’s next? KIMBALL SHINKOSKEY

Woods Cross

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Democrats Aren’t Socialists

It’s a good time for Democrats to expose what Paul Krugman, winner of the 2008 Nobel Prize in economics, refers to as the “dishonest political strategy” used by conservative Republicans: calling most (if not all) congressional Democrats names like “socialists,” “Marxists,” “communists,” “far-leftists” and “radicalleftists.” I do not believe any of them are true socialists. They are “social Democrats” just as are most of our allies in Canada, Australia, western Europe and Scandinavia. What Democrats really want is simply to make our country more like our allies in that their federal gov-

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ernments do more and spend more than ours (in proportion to population size) on social programs in order to help their lower and middle classes be able to pay their bills and receive good-quality health care and a decent overall quality of life. Democrats know that a truly socialist economy has never worked or been successful in any large-scale society. And the plain truth is that in order for someone to be a true socialist he or she must support the abolition of capitalism. Don’t fall for this right-wing propaganda. They just want to scare the American people, and that is why they keep telling this lie. STEWART B. EPSTEIN

Rochester, New York

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Best of Utah Party

Such a great time! It was so good seeing everyone and serving up some yummy cocktails. FIVE WIVES VODKA

via Instagram Always the party of the year. VERTICAL DINER

via Instagram Thanks for the fun party. I wish I could’ve stayed longer! ALLISON CROGHAN

via Facebook Care to sound off on a feature in our pages or about a local concern? Write to comments@ cityweekly.net or post your thoughts on our social media. We want to hear from you!

THE BOX

Do you think we would be better off without social media? Eric Granato

No doubt we would be better off without. I know I would be.

Katharine Biele

Yes and no, but you can’t go back to the future or put the toothpaste back in the tube or whatever cliche you want to use. We would be better off without cliches, though.

Benjamin Wood

No, social media is inevitable. But we all need to rethink the rules of engagement. It’s simply too easy to lie without consequence.

Carolyn Campbell

Yes. I can’t think of a way that it has made society better.

Scott Renshaw

I think we’d be better off without the stupidest people on social media, but then again, we’d be better off without the stupidest people *anywhere*. Social media just makes the stupid far too easy to find, and to spread.

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OPINION

How Santa Decides Taking a Gander: After 2021, Old Nick struggles to find his ‘ho-ho-ho.’

ear Santa, I just wanted to get your take on what’s happening in our world. Assuming that you have either cable or satellite, I’m sure you’re upset about the ongoing tragedies of 2021. With all the senseless killing—the tragic legacy of Browning and Colt—challenges to women’s rights, a pandemic that refuses to go away and America’s democracy under siege, you must be pretty upset with the “kiddies” this year. I’ll bet you’re even having a hard time even mustering up a “ho-hoho” these days. I’m curious, how do you actually decide who’s naughty or who’s nice? It seems to me, it’s a pretty complex question, since there’s almost no way for someone to be 100% nice or totally naughty. It’s always a mix, so what’s the bad-to-good ratio that results in a lump-of-coal Christmas? I’m also wondering how you can know people’s thoughts— so important in assigning culpability for bad deeds. Motive and frame of mind certainly deserve consideration. You must be related to God; he’s supposed to be the only one who actually knows what’s going on inside people’s heads. Of course, you know why I’m asking these questions—I want to know where I stand. If I’m on your “naughty” list, I’ll need to really hustle to buy myself some presents to place beneath the tree. Or, better still, if my chances are looking bad, please tell me if there’s some way I can get back on your “nice” list. Just in case you need some evidence, I’d like to put a good word in for myself. In 2021, I helped an elderly woman across a busy downtown street—just like the Boy Scout cliché. I

BY MICHAEL S. ROBINSON do the dishes every evening, make the bed every morning, shower at least twice a month, helped bulldoze a homeless camp, got my vaccine, wore my mask and tossed my bumpstock into the garbage. I must admit, I am glowing with pride, recounting my many good deeds. Surely, you’re happy with me. Anyway, I know how busy you are this time of the year, but I’m hoping you’ll have time to answer this letter. You can make it brief—or even write it in shorthand. I just want to breathe that sigh of relief, knowing that I’m among the good boys and girls and that you’ll be looking for my chimney on Christmas Eve. Most importantly, I want you to know how much I love you and believe in you. You’re the best, Santa! Love, Mikey. Dear Mikey, thanks for taking the time to send me a letter. All the texts are driving me mad. It was a rare treat to actually find something in my postal box. Your thoughtfulness— in taking the time to grab your pen and ink—pretty much ensures you’ll make Santa’s “nice” list. It’s a great start. But I’m not so sure. When you walked the senior woman across the busy street, you actually helped a bank robber, in a Mrs. Doubtfire-esque disguise, to escape. Well, at least your heart was in the right place. I’m impressed that you’re doing some of the repetitive household chores. But, think about it: You’ve been doing the dishes with nitrate-laden dish soap. That messes-up the environment and contaminates the groundwater. So irresponsible. And sorry, Mikey, razing a homeless camp pretty much cancels-out your good-boy acts. That said, you do get a kudo for being vaccinated. Protecting those around you is so important. I really like people who look out for their fellow humans. Good job, Mikey! As for throwing away your bump-stock, I’m not so sure that was a good thing. After all, you kiddies will need your automatic assault rifles during the zombie invasion—and it’s coming, right after the great post-COVID reset. Overall Mikey, I think you’re in pretty good shape for

Christmas. Lucky for you, I’ve run out of space on the “naughty” list. All of the available slots are being taken by your legislators, conspiracy theorists, Supreme Court justices and Fox News personalities. Even some of the good guys—like Mitt Romney and Lisa Murkowski—are on my “naughty” list this year. They spoke out against naughtiness but could have (and should have) done more. There are sins of commission and ones of omission—they, simply, didn’t yell loud enough. I’m definitely not so jolly these days. As for my use of “hoho-ho,” I try to lighten my chronic depression with an occasional “ha, ha, ha” for the ongoing antics of Trump and his clown posse. Also, I’ve decided to hybridize my lists this year. Because bad judgment and stupidity are such big problems today, there is now a combined “naughty and justplain-stupid” list. I’m glad you mentioned the matter of what’s in someone’s heart and mind as possible mitigating circumstances. I know people’s hearts—it’s an extra sense, refined through practice—and I’m sickened by what I see. Even though they sport their yuletide-red neckties—my favorite color—most Republicans won’t make the “nice” list this year. Incidentally, there are a few people who are being put on the permanent “just-plain-bad” list, with no possibility of redemption. Politicians like Lauren Boebert, Josh Hawley, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Matt Gaetz and Kevin McCarthy—to name a few—have made it clear they possess no redeeming value. Their pernicious B.S. is staining the snow and gunking up my sled runners. They’ve been so terrible, I’ve actually decided to retire their jerseys. I hate liars. They might as well forget about both me and Christmas—I’m certainly trying to forget about them. Happy holidays, anyway. Yours truly, Santa. CW Michael S. Robinson is a retired businessman, novelist and former Vietnam-era Army assistant public information officer. His weekly “Taking a Gander” column can be found at cityweekly.net.

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HITS&MISSES BY KATHARINE BIELE @kathybiele

MISS: Tilting at Election Windmills

Election integrity? Confidence in our election system? Who’s working to undermine that confidence? We can blame it on the right-wing fringe, the QAnon conspiracists and the My Pillow guy, but sadly this poisonous, anti-American movement has infiltrated the mainstream Republican Party and moved it beyond recognition. The Salt Lake Tribune’s Bryan Schott dove into the party’s misguided effort to “find” fraud in the 2020 election, one that has a secretive cabal haunting homes throughout Utah in an effort to locate “red flag voters.” No, they don’t trust a nationally acclaimed Utah voting system, even though it unsurprisingly awarded Donald “J-for-Jesus” Trump the state election. Do they find that door-to-door canvassing for years after an election is a good idea? They have a market of good ideas—from baby-eating pedophiles running a shadow government to the reincarnation of JFK.

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MISS: Taking Pride in Racism

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Meanwhile, in racist history, Utah can be proud of our “charitable” Proud Boys, our deadly bullying in Davis County, the blinders at an indigenous Panguitch school and the zero-tolerance policy of the Utah High School Activities Association that punished a Black kid for striking out against a racist slur. Maybe we don’t call it a white-power grab, but it certainly is a defensive reaction to what conservatives believe to be an assault on America’s sanitized history. A researcher in Panguitch resigned after learning of the problematic legacy of Indigenous schools, a young girl committed suicide after being bullied in Davis County, and there’s plenty more examples, according to The Salt Lake Tribune. But hey, the Proud Boys promised to donate food to Calvary Chapel. Calvary should refuse the donation.

HIT: Marshaling Support

There is a small window of opportunity to save Ogden’s Marshall White Center, a recreation space named after a Black World War II veteran and police officer killed in the line of duty in 1963. The rec center, according to The Salt Lake Tribune, had fallen into disrepair from years of neglect, despite being a visible symbol in one of the city’s marginalized neighborhoods. The Ogden City Council is poised to demolish and rebuild the center as a pay-for-play center in a more affluent area run by the YMCA. “If Ogden is going to (finally) commit to a fullservice recreation center as they should have 20 years ago, then it must be built with the right set of amenities, on a large enough site and in the right location to serve the whole community efficiently,” said Iain Hueton, former Recreation Advisory Board chair. ”It’s very unlikely that the current [Marshall White Center] site would work without tearing down a lot of other buildings.” City funds will be spent no matter where the center goes, and the community is making it clear that the city should not erase Marshall White and the good it has done for its minority population.

CITIZEN REV LT IN A WEEK, YOU CAN CHANGE THE WORLD

Climate Leaders Needed

If you care about the planet and about the environment, but think there’s nothing to be done to protect it, you may want to learn about Restructuring the Narrative. It’s not enough to sit back and hope that someone will take the lead in persuading uncompromising lawmakers and elected leaders. “Building local leadership to organize in a community is critical to achieve progress for people and the planet.” That’s what the Sierra Club wants to help with. By partnering with UYES and Movement Building Medicine, the Sierra Club is offering a way to explore what you hear about the climate crisis and look at how to “better bridge connections to sustain regenerative communities, economies, ecosystems, energy systems and food systems.” This is no small task, but it is also critical to the future of the planet. Almost no one debates whether climate change is real these days, but too often they fight against any workable solutions. You can be part of the change. Virtual, Tuesday, Dec. 14, 5:30 p.m. Free/register at https://bit.ly/3ps5uV W

Health Care at Risk

People need to learn how to talk about vaccines, especially in an environment of health-care inequity. The annual conference, Health Care Solutions for Utahns, will help you understand how to engage in the debate over access to health services and why so many Utahns are at risk of navigating severe medical problems without help. Appropriately themed, the conference focuses on “Recognizing Disparities and Advancing Health Equity.” You will hear from Primary Children’s Dr. Angelo Giardino, participate in panels on health equity and vaccine communication, share stories and hear about the Annual Health Care Index. How can Utah address the uninsured rate? The conference will also attempt to answer that. Virtual, Thursday, Dec. 9, $25. Register at https://bit.ly/3ddSQ7v

Saving the Kids

The widespread use of the phrase “schoolto-prison pipeline” makes you wonder what the country is doing wrong. There are many alternatives to incarceration, but jail populations continue to swell. What have we learned? “Students identified with disabilities are twice as likely to receive a school disciplinary action as students without a disability. Studies show that suspension and expulsion rates are closely correlated with dropout and delinquency rates and have tremendous economic costs. Referrals to law enforcement and arrests at school are the harshest forms of school disciplinary action and expose students directly to the juvenile justice system,” according to university researchers. Does that sound like a good education system? At the seventh annual International Hip Hop Activism Conference, you will hear from experts on how to recognize and address this growing problem. Virtual (watch site for Zoom information), Friday, Dec. 10, 10 a.m., free. https://bit.ly/3ryR4pG

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DECEMBER 9, 2021 | 9

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For anyone who thinks overnight success is the only real path to the big time, kindly witness the career of Jim Gaffigan. The Indiana native—inspired by his admiration for fellow Hoosier David Letterman—launched his attempt at a comedy career in the early 1990s, just as the standup boom of the 1980s was petering out. Only after nearly a decade of trying on different stage personas and styles did he finally land an appearance on The Late Show with David Letterman in 1999, leading his slow climb into sitcoms (like The Ellen Show and My Boys) and a successful career headlining big venues as a standup comedian. And considering how effective his nowfamiliar on-stage persona has become, it’s kind of hard to believe that it took him a while to discover it. In his Netflix specials and Grammy-nominated comedy albums, Gaffigan has established his voice through his generally clean jokes, his ubiquitous self-deprecating humor based on his pale, doughy appearance, and … well, a voice. It’s that squeaky, thirdperson commentary he occasionally slips

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Jim Gaffigan

into, becoming an audience surrogate when a bit lingers for too long, or when he wants to indicate that he’s in on his own joke. All evidence suggests that his fans still love it. Gaffigan’s “Fun Tour” of all-new material stops in for two Salt Lake City shows at Vivint Arena (301 W. South Temple) on Dec. 10-11, 7 p.m., with tickets $21 - $76. Proof of COVID vaccination or negative test is required for this event. Visit ticketmaster.com to buy tickets and for additional event information. (Scott Renshaw)

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Mystery Science Theater 3000 Live It’s hard to believe that this silly, almost tooobvious concept—a bunch of funny people sitting around and making fun of cheesy movies—is entering its 34th year. But somehow, Mystery Science Theater 3000 (MST3K to its friends) just keeps kicking, long after the initial incarnation of the show on Minneapolis local television migrated to Comedy Central in the early 1990s, long after it found a second life on then-Sci-Fi Channel, and after successful crowdfunding campaigns brought it back for new seasons in 2017 and 2018, with more new episodes due in 2022. The MST3K brand also continues in its touring live shows, with creator and original on-screen host Joel Hodgson now working behind the scenes and producing the

events. Emily Marsh—who appeared as part of the 2019 MST3K tour—has now taken over ringmaster duties as Hodgson’s hand-picked successor for the “Time Bubble Tour,” accompanied by the beloved puppet/robot companions Tom Servo (Conor McGiffin), Crow T. Robot (Nate Begle) and Mega-Synthia/GPC (Yvonne Freese). And those who have adored the popculture-savvy mockery across three decades will still find a familiar formula of riffs at the expense of a not-particularly-good movie—in this case, the early Roland Emmerich-directed science-fiction feature Making Contact—plus goofy sketches and more shenanigans. Join Emily and the robots as they drop in to the Delta Hall of Eccles Theater (131 S. Main St.) on Tuesday, Dec. 14 at 8 p.m., with tickets $27.50 - $199. Proof of COVID vaccine or negative test is required. Visit arttix.org for tickets and additional event information. (SR)

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out the best thing about this whole ‘Christmas thing’… that to find ourselves we must lose ourselves in doing good.” The Best Thing About Christmas runs Dec. 10-18 at the Studio 5400 Theater in the new Mid-Valley Performing Arts Center (2525 Taylorsville Blvd., Taylorsville), with tickets $18$25. Visit arttix.org for tickets and for current health and safety guidelines. (SR)

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RODRIGUEZ PHOTOGRAPHY

communication might have some larger meaning to others also coping with isolation and a desire for change. Fittingly enough given the creative context for The Moon Is Behind Us, Sheikh and Williams will appear remotely via Zoom for a live author event, sponsored by The King’s English Bookshop, on Wednesday, Dec. 15 at 6 p.m. The event is free, but registration is required via Eventbrite; visit kingsenglish.com for more information. (SR)

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We’ve all tried to look for silver linings in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic, and for some, it has come in the form of the art inspired by this global calamity. On a local level, that has included the unique result of a longdistance collaboration between author Terry Tempest Williams and photographer Fazal Sheikh, in the form of the book The Moon Is Behind Us. The two artist-activists found themselves unable to collaborate in close proximity as the result of the pandemic, with Williams in Utah and Sheikh in Switzerland. They corresponded by email during that time about the issues that mattered to them, ultimately inspiring Sheikh, in a gesture of friendship, to send Williams a package containing 30 images, meant to represent both his 30 years of artistic work and one complete cycle of the moon. Williams eventually responded with 30 letters, one for each of the images, and written one per day across another lunar cycle. The result included philosophical musings on both their individual connection and greater human connections over social movements like Black Lives Matter and work to combat climate change. They ultimately decided that their personal

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No act of artistic creation is easy, but it’s understandable if someone like Utah native Derek Hinckley—who has spent more than a decade working as a musician in Nashville—might think it would be a simple transition of his skills to writing a full-fledged musical. “‘How hard could writing a musical script be?’” Hinkley recalls thinking, as observed in his artist notes for The Best Thing About Christmas. “Well, after four years of writing and re-writing and collaborating with some seriously talented and creative people, we feel really good about where it has landed. The world-premiere production of The Best Thing About Christmas lands in Utah this week with a story inspired by Hinkley’s own experience as an aspiring musical artist, focusing on another aspiring musician named Dylan. After experiencing a holiday-season tragedy that shakes his faith and his idea of what he should do with his life, he begins collaborating with his daughter on a musical script that might re-connect him to everything that matters most in life. Of the musical’s songs, Hinkley continues, “they represent who I am, who I want to be, and hopefully what we can all strive to become…the best versions of ourselves, because we too have found

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The Best Thing About Christmas

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16 | DECEMBER 9, 2021

Tips for holiday gift-giving that supports the work of local creators BY SCOTT RENSHAW scottr@cityweekly.net @scottrenshaw

n last week’s A&E Essentials section, we drew attention to Finch Lane Gallery’s month-long series of “pop-up” stores for local artists and artisans, allowing an opportunity for folks to find beautiful, oneof-a-kind gifts for the special folks on their lists. That is, however, far from the only place that you can bring artistic creations into your holiday gift-giving, all while supporting Utah-based practitioners. While galleries, artists and other creators are too plentiful to name them all, here are just a few locations where you can peruse the work of local artists, and get some distinctive stuff to put under the tree with no worries about supply chains. Alpine Art: Honoring Utah Artists: The local gallery (430 E. South Temple) showcases more than 100 works by 60 local artists, offering an amazing chance to give the gift of art. alpineartinc.com Park Silly Sunday Market Silly Bazaar: Park City’s regular outdoor summer showcase of goodies and gifts by locals takes on a holiday bent for December indoor pop-up locations. Following a stop in Sandy on the first weekend in December, the bazaar will visit the Park City DoubleTree Yarrow Hotel (1800 Park Ave., Park City) Friday, Dec. 10 (5 p.m. – 9 p.m.) and Saturday – Sunday Dec. 11 & 12 (10 a.m. – 5 p.m.). Parking and admission are free, with lots of specialty items available. parksilly-

A&E

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Art Shopping

sundaymarket.com Phillips Gallery Annual Holiday Group Show: The stalwart Salt Lake City gallery (444 E. 200 South) represents some 70 artists and creations by all of them are available to peruse on the gallery’s three floors of display space, and for purchase. Explore paintings, sculptures, mixedmedia jewelry and more by artists including Hadley Rampton (“Blaze” is pictured), Connie Borup, Hyunmee Lee, Maureen O’Hara Ure, John Telford and many more. The exhibition runs through January 14; visit the website for gallery hours. phillips-gallery.com Utah Arts Alliance Bizarre Bazaar: It’s sometimes hard to keep track of all the local artistic pies in which Utah Arts Alliance has a finger, but they’re adding an additional one for the holiday season. The Shops at South Towne in Sandy (10450 S. State) hosts a seasonal boutique of unique gifts created by local artists and artisans, from quirky larger pieces to stockingstuffers. The venue is open through Dec. 31, 10 a.m. – 9 p.m. daily. And if you don’t find what you like there, you’ve still got other UA A spaces like Urban Arts Gallery (116 S. Rio Grande St.) for ways to support its mission and its artists utaharts.org Utah Museum of Fine Arts Museum Store: Even if you happened to miss the “official” holiday market last weekend, there are still plenty of reasons to make the UMFA store a seasonal shopping stop. Throughout the year, it features textiles, jewelry, cards, books and more, all created by locals and curated with the same care that goes into the museum’s exhibitions. Consignment artists include Ron Fehr (framed insects and butterflies), Marsha Christensen (jewelry), Mira Loyborg (pottery) and Don Prys (landscape paintings). umfa.utah.edu Performing arts gifts: Physical art objects aren’t the only way you can support the talented creative artists doing work in

Local artists and artisans display work at the Utah Museum of Fine Arts Museum Store our state. You can give the gift of the performing arts as well, by purchasing tickets to performances scheduled into the new year. Arttix.org provides a convenient place to check out the schedules of organizations like Utah Symphony & Opera, Ballet West, Ririe-Woodbury Dance Company, Plan-B Theater Company, Pygmalion Theater Company and many more that perform at Salt Lake County-run venues. From there, you can branch out to many other organizations like Pioneer Theatre Company (pioneertheatre.org), Salt Lake Acting Company (saltlakeactingcompany.org), Utah Shakespeare (bard.org) and more. An evening at a special event can be just the

right gift for many of the folks on your list. Local authors books: Some of their names might be familiar, others not so much, but it’s a guarantee that Utah writers are producing literary work in every possible genre, most of which will be a discovery to you or someone you’re shopping for. The King’s English Bookshop (1511 S. 1500 East, kingsenglish.com), Weller Book Works (607 Trolley Square, wellerbookworks.com) and Ken Sanders (268 S. 200 East, kensandersrarebooks.com) all prominently showcase books by local authors, both online and in their brick-and-mortar locations. Ask an employee for assistance, and they can certainly point you in the right direction. CW

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18 | DECEMBER 9, 2021

Executive chef Tamara Stanger is the culinary artist at The Lakehouse at Deer Creek

Cozy Cuisine Local chefs share holiday favorites with a dash of nostalgia.

ach of us has our own cherished yuletide menu. For example, are you a ham family—or turkey? Or tofurky? Maybe a standing rib roast or beef Wellington are your pièces de résistance? Or, perhaps you mark the occasion with the Feast of the Seven Fishes? Others will proudly serve oysters Rockefeller or even lutefisk. Those who don’t celebrate Christmas might tell you that Chinese food is a favorite Dec. 25 meal. As such, there are few culinary absolutes when celebrating December holidays such as Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa and winter solstice. You create your own traditions. Devour Utah food writers Aimee L. Cook and Carolyn Campbell checked in with local chefs about their holiday traditions as well as their favorite seasonal dishes. From a breakfast casserole to succulent sides and a festive wassail, the dishes are all about warmth and comfort—totally apropos of a season that surely will bring some of the white stuff in time for the holidays. At least, we can hope! In this hectic month, stress levels are at all-time high: Buy this or that. Hang the lights. Hunt for a Christmas tree. Score something sparkly to wear at the company party. Satisfy that hard-to-buy-for person. Host family gatherings at home. Whether entertaining others or just curling up at home, it’s nice to have easy dining ideas up your sleeve, and most of the recipes that follow are decidedly simple to make. They can impress a crowd—or just yourself. Go ahead and give yourself the gift of delectable comfort food. —Jerre Wroble

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BY AIMEE L. COOK AND CAROLYN CAMPBELL

’Tis the Season for Strata

Tamara Stanger, the culinary artist behind the food at The Lakehouse at Deer Creek, conveys her passion for history as a way to incorporate native ingredients into her unique dishes she refers to as “Utah heritage cuisine.” For the holidays, you’ll find new cocktails such as mulled wine, homemade eggnog and hot toddies. Mincemeat pie is a labor of love for Chef Tamara, and the traditional Utah favorite, funeral potatoes, will make an appearance on the menu. At home, Christmas morning boasts a food tradition that Stanger started 15 years ago. “I have kids, and on Christmas morning, they want to get right to it,” Stanger says. “They don’t want to sit and wait for breakfast, so when you make this strata, you just pop it in the oven (for 45 minutes). Then everyone has breakfast right away, and it’s delicious. It doesn’t taste rushed—and you have more time to spend with family.” Cozy interiors with roaring fireplaces, twinkling Christmas trees and strands of garland are sure to enhance your holiday dining experience at The Lakehouse.

Christmas Strata Serves 8

Ingredients 1 pound Italian sausage, blanched and sliced ½ cup chopped shallots 1 tablespoon butter 10 eggs 2 cups whole milk 2 cups heavy cream 1 tablespoon whole grain mustard 1 teaspoon kosher salt 1 teaspoon ground black pepper ½ teaspoon grated nutmeg ½ teaspoon dried oregano 1 cup grated Gruyère cheese 1 cup grated Parmesan cheese ¼ cup fresh Italian parsley, chopped 6 cups old Italian bread, cubed

Process (prepare on Christmas Eve)

Oil a 9 x13 pan. In a sauté pan, heat butter until melted and add sausage and shallots. Sauté until sausage is thoroughly heated and shallots are caramelized. Set aside. Whisk eggs until frothy. Whisk in milk and heavy cream, mustard, salt, pepper, nutmeg and oregano. Fold in sausage, shallots, cheese, parsley and cubed bread. Pour into the prepared pan and cover with foil. Refrigerate overnight or at least six hours. On Christmas morning, preheat oven to 350º. Bake strata for one hour or until puffed in the middle and thermometer inserted reads at least 165 degrees. Allow to cool for 10 minutes, scoop out portions with a large spoon and enjoy an easy Christmas breakfast! [By Aimee L. Cook]

THE LAKEHOUSE AT DEER CREEK

5317 S. Highway 189, Heber 435-210-7474 thelakehousedeercreek.com

All I Want for Christmas Is Soup

Billy Sotelo is the executive chef at La Caille for now going on eight years. During the holidays, Chef Billy likes to make menu offerings as festive as possible. Caviar, lobster, gold leaf and other seasonal favorites—such as vegetable ashes—bring out the essence of Christmas. The restaurant sits on 22 acres that are transformed during the holiday season with thousands of lights, turning the surroundings into a magnificent winter wonderland. “We really focus on quality first, as well as seasonal foods,” Sotelo says. “We source from our local farmers whenever possible, and our menu offerings follow the farmers. Our entire restaurant has been redesigned, so now is a great time to come in. This is a special place.” Private outdoor dining is available in the two Alpenglobes on the property. Globes are climate controlled, making them the perfect intimate gathering spot in any weather.

Creamy Pumpkin Soup Serves 5

Ingredients 2 pounds French pumpkin or butternut squash 3 ¼ cups chicken broth 1 teaspoon granulated sugar 2 tablespoons cornstarch ¹/³ cup crème fraîche Salt 2 tablespoons cold butter Process

Cut pumpkin into large pieces. Season with oil, sugar, salt and white pepper. Place on sheet tray and roast in the oven. Cook at 350°. (Do not over-roast, as it will become bitter.) A table knife should easily pierce the flesh of the pumpkin. Scrape the flesh out and

put it in a blender while slowly adding broth (or use an immersion blender in soup pot). Pour into a soup pot and bring up to a simmer while stirring and scraping the pot’s bottom and sides with a rubber spatula to keep pumpkin from sticking. Do this for about 10 minutes. In a small bowl, combine cornstarch and cold water and mix thoroughly. Whisk and slurry into the hot soup. Turn off the heat and whisk in crème fraîche and diced cold butter. Add salt only if necessary. [By Aimee L. Cook]

LA CAILLE

9565 Wasatch Blvd., Sandy 801-942-1751 lacaille.com

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DECEMBER 9, 2021 | 19

Sicilia Mia co-owner Giuseppe Mirenda serves up a gorgeous carbonara while reminescing about his grandmother’s lasagne.

We Need a Little Creamed Corn

Scalloped Corn

Ingredients 2 cans creamed corn 4 tablespoons whole butter, melted ½ teaspoon salt ½ teaspoon pepper Process

Blend the above ingredients. Top with crushed Ritz crackers and bake for 30 minutes at 375 degrees. [By Carolyn Campbell]

LEFT FORK GRILL

68 W. 3900 South, SLC 801-266-4322 leftforkgrill.ipower.com

It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Pasta

Sicilia Mia co-owner Giuseppe Mirenda’s memories of celebrating Christmas in Italy are reflected in the nine years he and his family have experienced since moving to the United States. “Italy is a wonderful place to be at Christmas time,” he says. “There are beautiful places to go with trees and lights everywhere. There’s a magical feeling in the air, and everyone is a little kinder during this season—the same way we are here.” The Mirenda family came to Utah from their native Sicily, where they owned five restaurants. They chose to move to the Beehive State because they have relatives here. In Italy, restaurants were handed down “from chef to chef” through three generations. “My dad started working in a restaurant when he was 6 years old,” Mirenda says. “So now, my father and I are restaurant owners together—an amazing partnership that couldn’t be better.” Mirenda recalls his Italian grandmother preparing one of his favorite dishes now served at Sicilia Mia today—her lasagna. This dish is created with layers of homemade pasta filled with Bolognese, a classic Italian sauce made with beef braised for eight hours with vegetables and bechamel, a creamy sauce made with milk and butter. Another of Mirenda’s favorite dishes is pappardelle al tartuffo served at their Sugar House restaurant, La Trattoria Di Francesco. Within this dish, homemade pappardelle pasta is tossed in a sauce of locally sourced eggs, butter and Parmigiano, then topped with freshly shaved truffles. “Our family is truffle lovers,”

says Mirenda. “Around this time of year, you get the best of the white truffles.” Sicilia Mia’s signature carbonara is also a holiday season staple. Diners are treated to the tableside presentation of carbonara prepared inside a 2-foot wide grana Padano cheese wheel. The result is a rich, distinctive, satisfying dish that’s a showstopper equal to its elegant presentation. Mirenda recommends finishing the meal with a housemade dessert such as tiramisu caramel coffee cake, coffee cake or gelato. After working year-round in the restaurant, he and his family look forward to celebrating together on Christmas Eve. “We spend the day together, eating and talking all day,” he says. Mirenda says that caccio e pepe is among the most basic, simplest kinds of pasta there is. “It’s suddenly trendy to boot. Why?” he asks. “Because when it’s made right, it is incredible.”

Caccio e Pepe

Ingredients 1 ½ cups finely grated pecorino Romano cheese, plus more for dusting the completed dish 1 cup finely grated Parmigiano-Reggiano 1 tablespoon ground black pepper, plus more for finishing the dish 100 grams of linguine or spaghetti or other long pasta (around ¼ box of most American store-bought pastas) Good olive oil Salt

JOHN TAYLOR

Each morning at 5, Left Fork Grill owner and chef Jeff Masten along with his assistant chef and breakfast cook converge in the restaurant kitchen to begin baking. Preparing pie crust the way his mom did, Masten’s mind is flooded with holiday memories of his mother’s great cooking. He still makes everything from scratch, including pancakes, gravy and turkey stuffing. “Our turkey dinner is a killer choice for Christmas,” he says, explaining that he creates the stuffing from both homemade rye and white bread. Likewise, the potatoes and gravy are made fresh. Rather than adding mayonnaise to the house coleslaw, he blends it with vinegar and oil, like his mom did all those Christmases ago. Fashioning the pie crust dough, he adds lard twice. “The first time, I add a little less. The second time, I add an inch or so and then cut it all in,” Masten says. Then he adds three to four tablespoons of water. “I don’t measure the water. I do it by feel. I use more water in winter than in the summer.” To make his chocolate pies extra rich, he adds dark chocolate. His favorite pie is his mom’s apple pie. “The key is,” he says, “I cook it at a low temperature for 70 minutes. In some apple pies, the apples are still firm. I like mine to be cooked.” Cinnamon is the single spice Masten adds to apple pie. With a day’s advance notice, customers can order almost any pie they can envision. A Texas customer introduced him to the concept of grapefruit pie. Today, he makes it occasionally. “The grapefruit is prepared in a gelatin filling and topped with cream. It’s wonderful,” he says. Upon request, he’s made old-fashioned traditional holiday pies such as mincemeat and gooseberry. Pecan, apple and pumpkin are Left Fork’s most common holiday pie orders. He recommends purchasing pies on the day you plan to serve them. Masten wore out the first Betty Crocker cookbook his mom gave him. So, he bought a new one online. He prepares a dish he recalls from his childhood holiday table— scalloped corn—for his own Christmas dinner.

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22 | DECEMBER 9, 2021

Left Fork Grill owner and chef Jeff Masten bakes apple pie low and slow using only cinnamon as the spice.

Process

Place a pot of salted water on to boil. In a large bowl, combine the cheeses and black pepper, mash with just enough cold water to make a thick paste. Spread the paste evenly in the bowl. Once the water is boiling, add the pasta. The second before it is perfectly cooked (taste it frequently once it begins to soften) use tongs to quickly transfer it to the bowl, reserving a cup or so of the cooking water. Stir vigorously to coat the pasta with the cheese mixture, adding a teaspoon or two of olive oil and a bit of pasta cooking water to thin the sauce if necessary. The sauce should cling to the pasta and be creamy but not watery. Plate and dust each dish with additional pecorino and pepper. Serve immediately. [By Carolyn Campbell]

SICILIA MIA

Multiple locations 801-274-0223 siciliamiautah.com TRATTORIA DI FRANCESCO

1500 S. 1500 East, SLC 801-419-0730 latrattoriadifrancesco.com

Brussels Sprouts Are Coming to Town

Here We Come a Wassailing

Franck’s covered patio offers an intimate setting for holiday gatherings.

Chef Robert Perkins opened Franck’s with Franck Peissel, the original owner, in 2006. Chef Rob has always been a huge fan of Christmas, as he himself came home from the hospital as a newborn in a stocking on Christmas Day. “Christmas has always meant a lot to me. I love it,” Perkins says. “I have always been artistic, so I think that side of me is always pushing to try something new and different that translates well into food.” Pushing the boundaries of flavor combinations is what Chef Rob is known for and, during the holiday season, he takes that challenge to another level. Making things playful but understandable is what he does best. This Christmas Eve will feature a unique tasting menu that progresses with seasonal ingredients, along with surprises such as shrimp cotton candy—yes, you read that correctly. Sugar infusion lends itself nicely to Chef Rob’s artistic talents. Also, watch for fun menu offerings surrounding the Twelve Days of Christmas, and reserve an Alpenglobe at Francks for added ambiance around your holiday dining.

Wassail Beurre Blanc Recipe

NIKI CHAN

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Goes well with any fish, shellfish and light proteins

Serves 4 Ingredients 1 pound trimmed and cleaned Brussels sprouts ¼ cup candied pancetta (start with 1/3 cup diced pancetta cooked. Then add 2/3 cups of balsamic vinegar and reduce to au sec or almost dry and sticky) 8 caramelized cippolini onions Process

Pan-fry the Brussels sprouts in pomace oil (still olive, just a lower grade than extra-virgin olive oil) for 2-3 minutes (be careful because they will pop oil!). Remove the Brussels sprouts on a paper towel briefly and toss them in a bowl. Add the cippolinis, candied pancetta, sauce (see recipe below) and finish them with a bit of Parmesan.

LOG HAVEN

6451 E. Millcreek Canyon Road., SLC 801-272-8255 Log-haven.com

FRANCK’S

6263 S. Holladay Blvd., Holladay 801-274-6264 francksfood.com

DECEMBER 9, 2021 | 23

Reduce this mixture in a saucepan by a third. Season with salt and pepper and finish with 3 tablespoons good extra-virgin olive oil, reserve until needed. (Please note that these measurements may need a little adjusting, but it should get you real close.) [By Carolyn Campbell]

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Process for sauce

In a heavy-bottom stockpot, add cider, brown sugar, cider vinegar, ale, Madeira, cloves, all spice, ginger, nutmeg, garam masala and lemon juice. Cook over medium to medium-low heat to reduce mixture by ¾. Do this slowly— may take about an hour Strain reduced liquid through a fine mesh sieve, pressing to get the aromatics out of the ginger and spices. Put the strained liquid into a smaller sauce pot. Add honey and cream. Return to heat and reduce slowly at medium-low temperature by half. Once reduced, turn off heat, but leave on warm stove top. Add a couple pinches of salt then blend in the cold butter in slowly, one piece at a time. After all the butter has been added, taste for seasoning. Adjust salt if needed. Flavor should be aromatic, sweet, acidic, seasoned and creamy. [By Aimee L. Cook]

Ingredients for Brussels sprouts sauce ¼ cup balsamic vinegar ¼ cup honey 3 tablespoons light soy sauce 2 tablespoons Dijon mustard 2-3 chopped garlic cloves

Process

After moving to Utah from California, chef Dave Jones planted a Santa Rosa plum tree in his yard in honor of his grandmother. Harvesting the tree’s fruit this year, he made a Santa Rosa plum sorbet. “That tart, sweet plum took me back to my childhood,” Jones says. He was 7 years old when he began cooking in the kitchen with his mother and grandmother. “My grandmother was an amazing cook,” he recalls. She was also an early graduate of the Boston School of Cooking. “I was her sidekick whenever we visited,” Jones recalls. “Every Sunday, in the early evening, they let us eat on TV trays.” He remembers that the favored cuisine back then was “a steak, mashed potatoes and sliced tomatoes with mayonnaise.” Chef Jones came to Utah in 1994 to help reopen Log Haven, a rustic and elegant log mansion located in a lovely wooded glen in the Wasatch National Forest. He describes “Utah’s most romantic restaurant” as “magical” at Christmastime. The warm and inviting ambiance is enhanced with twinkle lights, evergreen boughs and wreaths, a classic ornamented Christmas tree and crimson poinsettias during the holidays. This restaurant could be the most festive site on earth. Depending on the current price of beef and crab, Jones hopes to create his traditional Christmas Eve dinner featuring tender and flavorful roast prime rib accompanied by Yorkshire pudding made from the roasting juice and accompanied by quinoacrusted crab cakes. Popular for dessert is the frozen coconut banana souffle with roasted pineapple sauce and candied macadamia nuts. At home, Jones prepares a beef Wellington with a red wine port demi-glace and a Madeira reduction with mushroom duxelles and roasted fingerling or classic mashed potatoes for his holiday dinner. His wife creates a mandarin salad with mustard vinaigrette, and his daughter usually makes a traditional pumpkin or pecan pie. But for a spectacular side featuring Brussels sprouts, Jones happily shares the Log Haven recipe.

Log Haven Brussels Sprouts

Ingredients 4 cups Red Barn cider ½ cup brown sugar 1 cup apple cider vinegar 72 ounces ale 1 standard bottle (750 mL or 25 ounces) of Madeira wine 10 whole cloves 10 all spice berries 1 split knob of ginger 1 teaspoon ground nutmeg 2 teaspoons garam masala 4 lemons (juiced) ¼ cup honey 2 cups heavy cream ½ pound cold salted butter (cut into ½-inch pieces) Salt to taste

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JOHN TAYLOR

Log Haven chef Dave Jones describes the Millcreek Canyon restaurant as “magical” at Christmas.

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24 | DECEMBER 9, 2021

AS SEEN ON “ DINERS, DRIVEINS AND DIVES”

Sehr Gut ! Old world flavor in the heart of Salt Lake

Serving American Comfort Food Since 1930 -91 YEARS AND GOING STRONG-BREAKFAST SERVED DAILY UNTIL 4PM-DELICIOUS MIMOSAS & BLOODY MARY’S-TAKEOUT AVAILABLE“In a perfect world, every town would have a diner just like Ruth’s”

“Like having dinner at Mom’s in the mountains” -Cincinnati Enquirer

-CityWeekly

20 W. 200 S. SLC | (801) 355-3891

siegfriedsdelicatessen.com

4160 EMIGRATION CANYON ROAD | 801 582-5807 | WWW.RUTHSDINER.COM OPEN THURSDAY THRU MONDAY -CLOSED TUESDAY & WEDNESDAY

Award Winning Donuts

ALEX SPRINGER

705 S. 700 E. | (801) 537-1433

Oromian Restaurant adds a bit of traditional spice to Salt Lake City.

D DIPPE

SHA KES

HA CRAFNTD BURGEED RS ALL AND HNATURAL PRODUOMEMADE CTS FR OM PROTEIN S SODAS TO

30 E BROADWAY, SLC UT 801-355-0667

DECEMBER 9, 2021 | 25

GOSH DARN DELICIOUS!

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AT A GLANCE

Open: Mon.-Sat., 12 p.m.-9 p.m. Best bet: The Ultimate Platter Can’t miss: A cup of rich Ethiopian coffee

HAND

mid all the exhaustion and desperation that continues to plague our hospitality industry, we have had our share of triumphs. Regrettably, the triumphs aren’t as numerous as the defeats, but I like to do what I can to amplify the players in our local restaurant scene that have taken a wallop, only to reinvent themselves and throw it all back into the fight. Oromian Restaurant (1522 S. State Street, 801-978-9673, oromianrestaurant.com) is a prime example of what I’m talking about. Struggle, hardship and determination have been a part of this local Ethiopian eatery long before it became the cozy State Street eatery that locals have started to embrace. Oromian Restaurant began with Rundassa Eshete, an Ethiopian immigrant who arrived in Utah nearly 30 years ago. After helping his siblings immigrate to Utah, Eshete purchased the African Mini Mart on 1800 South and Redwood Road, where he and his family worked for several years. This African market soon became the site of African Restaurant, Utah’s first exclusively Ethiopian restaurant. Around five years ago, Eshete and his family made plans to relocate their restaurant closer to downtown Salt Lake City, and purchased the space where Oromian Restaurant cur-

PLENTY OF PATIO SEATING

BY ALEX SPRINGER comments@cityweekly.net @captainspringer

and it most definitely does not disappoint at Oromian. It’s a traditional beef stew prepared in a luxurious mix of red pepper berbere sauce, tomatoes, onion and ginger, along with a special spice blend that imparts a lovely, smoky kick. It’s an excellent pickme-up for days when there’s a chill in the air and smog in your lungs. In contrast, the waadii awaazee is a more acidic dish with sauteed beef and onions—both of them work very well together as the stars of this platter. If chicken is more your thing, you can’t go wrong with the kochee handaanqoo ($11.99). It’s a pair of chicken legs sauteed in that delicious red pepper berbere sauce that comes complete with a hard-boiled egg—it really lets you ponder the versatility poultry has in a dish. The chicken is flavorful, tender and juicy, and licking all that smoky, spicy sauce from your fingers is one of life’s small pleasures. In addition to these excellent dining options, let’s not overlook the niche culture of Ethiopian coffee roasting that is on display at Oromian. The coffee roast ($15.75) serves four to eight people, and it’s a venerated process backed by years of tradition. The whole event takes around 20 minutes— more than enough time to socialize with friends over a platter of delicious, budennawrapped comfort food. Based on the struggles that the Eshete family has endured to bring Oromian Restaurant to the people of Salt Lake, it’s hard to sit down to a meal here and not taste love in every bite. It has been a long, hard road for these local restaurateurs, but based on their experience, struggle and hardship isn’t something that keeps them down for long. Here’s hoping that Oromian Restaurant is the happy ending to a tumultuous journey. CW

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Ethiopian for Business

rently resides. After dealing with years of renovations, medical issues and, you know, the whole global pandemic, Eshete and his family are once again ready to serve up all kinds of Ethiopian comfort food. Eshete & company have spent countless hours converting a pawn shop into a restaurant, and the effort comes through magnificently once you step inside. It’s wall-to-wall woodwork, a rustic aesthetic that continues into the furniture. Pops of color appear courtesy of the Ethiopian artwork and decorative baskets that adorn the walls. I absolutely cannot believe the work that has gone into this place—it’s a gorgeous spot to indulge in some traditional Ethiopian finger foods. To that end, Oromian has three different combination platters that are the menu’s best bet. The Ultimate Platter ($12.99) comes with waaddii awaazee and kochee foanii, two popular beef dishes, along with a decent number of vegetarian options. The Three Entrees Platter ($10.50) comes with only kochee foanii and double servings of ashaakiltii, a tasty dish of sauteed cabbage and carrots, and steamed lentils. The Vegetarian Platter ($10.99) is there for all your plant-based cravings—it includes everything from Oromina’s vegetarian menu. Individual portions of each dish are available on Oromian’s menu just in case you settle on an absolute favorite. Newcomers to Ethiopian cuisine will soon learn the importance of budenna or injera, the dinner plate-sized slabs of spongy flatbread that sits beneath your food. This gluten-free flatbread is what you use to eat all that tasty, simmered, sauteed and stewed food, and it’s one of the evergreen charms of dining at an Ethiopian place. There is something endlessly appealing about eschewing Western dining customs and eating everything in sight with your fingers. Budenna also adds a sourdoughlike flavor to whatever you’ve scooped up, which is an excellent way to cut through all those rich flavors. I have always been a fan of kochee foanii,

onTAP Moab Brewing 686 S. Main, Moab TheMoabBrewery.com On Tap: Bougie Johnny’s Rose

Bewilder Brewing 445 S. 400 West, SLC BewilderBrewing.com On Tap: Coffee Kolsch

Mountain West Cider 425 N. 400 West, SLC MountainWestCider.com On Tap: Lemongrass Ginger Hard Cider

Bohemian Brewery 94 E. Fort Union Blvd, Midvale BohemianBrewery.com

S ON U W FOLLO GRAM A T S IN

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EKLY E W C @SL

Bonneville Brewery 1641 N. Main, Tooele BonnevilleBrewery.com On Tap: Peaches and Cream Ale

Epic Brewing Co. 825 S. State, SLC EpicBrewing.com On Tap: Son of a Baptist Coffee Stout

Red Rock Brewing Multiple Locations RedRockBrewing.com On Tap: Baked Pastry Stout

Fisher Brewing Co. 320 W. 800 South, SLC FisherBeer.com On Tap: Fisher Cerveza

Hoppers Grill and Brewing 890 E. Fort Union Blvd, Midvale HoppersBrewPub.com Kiitos Brewing 608 W. 700 South, SLC KiitosBrewing.com Level Crossing Brewing Co. 2496 S. West Temple, South Salt Lake LevelCrossingBrewing.com On Tap: Vienna Lager

TUESDAY TRIVIA! 7-9 PM LIVE JAZZ Thursdays 8-11 PM

1048 East 2100 South | (385) 528-3275 | HopkinsBrewingCompany.com

Policy Kings Brewery 223 N. 100 West, Cedar City PolicyKingsBrewery.com Proper Brewing 857 S. Main, SLC ProperBrewingCo.com On Tap: Gungan Sith Lord

Hopkins Brewing Co. 1048 E. 2100 South, SLC HopkinsBrewingCompany.com On Tap: Cowboy Lite

OUTDOOR SEATING ON THE PATIO

Ogden River Brewing 358 Park Blvd, Ogden OgdenRiverBrewing.com On Tap: Injector Hazy IPA

Desert Edge Brewery 273 Trolley Square, SLC DesertEdgeBrewery.com On Tap: Fresh Brewed UPA

Grid City Beer Works 333 W. 2100 South, SLC GridCityBeerWorks.com On Tap: Extra Pale Ale

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26 | DECEMBER 9, 2021

2 Row Brewing 6856 S. 300 West, Midvale 2RowBrewing.com On Tap: Feelin’ Hazy

RoHa Brewing Project 30 Kensington Ave, SLC RoHaBrewing.com On Tap: Mild and Free British Mild Roosters Brewing Multiple Locations RoostersBrewingCo.com On Tap: Cosmic Autumn Rebellion SaltFire Brewing 2199 S. West Temple, South Salt Lake SaltFireBrewing.com On Tap: Grievance - Apple Brandy Barrel Aged Scotch Ale Salt Flats Brewing 2020 Industrial Circle, SLC SaltFlatsBeer.com On Tap: Pumpkin Spice Latte Ale Shades Brewing 154 W. Utopia Ave, South Salt Lake ShadesBrewing.beer On Tap: Winter Warmer Amber Ale Silver Reef 4391 S. Enterprise Drive, St. George StGeorgeBev.com

A list of what local craft breweries and cider houses have on tap this week Squatters 147 W. Broadway, SLC Squatters.com Strap Tank Brewery Multiple Locations StrapTankBrewery.com Springville On Tap: PB Rider, Peanut Butter Stout Lehi On Tap: 2-Stroke, Vanilla Mocha Porter TF Brewing 936 S. 300 West, SLC TFBrewing.com On Tap: Edel Pils Talisman Brewing Co. 1258 Gibson Ave, Ogden TalismanBrewingCo.com On Tap: 7th Wonder Pale Ale Toasted Barrel Brewery 412 W. 600 North, SLC ToastedBarrelBrewery.com Uinta Brewing 1722 S. Fremont Drive, SLC UintaBrewing.com On Tap: Was Angeles Craft Beer UTOG 2331 Grant Ave, Ogden UTOGBrewing.com On Tap: Snowcat IPA Vernal Brewing 55 S. 500 East, Vernal VernalBrewing.com Wasatch 2110 S. Highland Drive, SLC WasatchBeers.com Zion Brewery 95 Zion Park Blvd, Springdale ZionBrewery.com Zolupez 205 W. 29th Street #2, Ogden Zolupez.com

Dump the fruitcake—these beers are all you’ll need. BY MIKE RIEDEL comments@cityweekly.net @utahbeer

| CITY WEEKLY |

DECEMBER 9, 2021 | 27

pic - Cranberry IPA: Epic is probably the most adventurous of the local breweries when it comes to IPAs. Between their sour, fruited, spiced, smoothie and barrel-aged varieties, you can always count on something different from the Epic portfolio. Their cranberry version certainly follows suit. The body of the beer has an unfiltered amber color with big ruby highlights. The entire pub seems to be filled with the aroma of cranberries, and there is a fruity hop punch that just works wonderfully with the cranberry. I can pick up the actual fruity hop aroma with a bit of an herbal edge. Up front, there is a good deal of bitterness, a bit like eating an orange pith. The cranberry is there, but it isn’t sweet. There is a touch of sweetness from the malt character, along with a bit of a resinous quality to the flavor, giving it just a touch of pine sap and some herbal hops at the finish. It is a very rich-tasting beer—a sipper not because of high alcohol content, but because of the richness in flavor. I feel it’s important to note that this doesn’t taste like a cranberry soda, pie or candy. The can says there’s lactose added, but the typical dairy sweetness is not immediately present, and is likely keeping the tartness of the cranberry from getting out of control. Overall: Pairing this beer with holiday foods will not be too difficult. I’ve already tried leftover turkey sandwiches and leafy

greens with balsamic dressing. They were both quite satisfying, but drinking it on its own was probably my preferred option. SaltFire - Grievance: The Saltfire brew team, headed by Mike Dymowski, took a nice and malty Scottish style ale and gave it a 10-month nap in Laird’s AppleJack Brandy barrels. The timing couldn’t have been better, as this is precisely the type of beer that you want to enjoy over the holidays. It pours a deep ruby brown; it’s surprising to see how clear this barrel-aged beer came out. Not much head to speak of, which speaks to effects from the barrel, most likely. There’s a simple tan collar, and some spotted lacing while drinking. The bouquet on this beer is nuts—a great example of making the barrel give the spirit life. Huge notes of soft and warm apple brandy emerge, along with a heavy dose of cinnamon, and can you believe there is even pie crust on this thing? Other aromas include nutmeg and a slight hint of roasted coffee. Like a piece of fresh baked apple pie, it’s warm and inviting. The palate brings all the accolades, much of which comes from what the nose hinted at—flavors of toffee and of course apple pie. Sweet nutmeg and cinnamon spices are all over this thing, though it starts off with a milk and creamy texture, almost giving some vanilla sweetness on the finish, along with some crusty dough. Mouthfeel starts off impressive, but gets into much stronger sweetness and a fizzy quality. An odd bit of cola aftertaste comes out as the body gets much lighter, oddly. Overall: This beer is just incredible: phenomenal execution, great apple pie notes, vanilla, crumble, brandy, awesome nose and taste. This is easily one of the best winter warmers that I’ve had so far this year. Both of these beers are seasonal offerings, and are perfect for food pairings and sharing. Of the holiday styled beers I’ve had so far this season, these two seem to have goods to get you through the parties you want to attend, as well as those you have to attend. Both are available at their respective breweries in 16-ounce cans. As always, cheers! CW

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We’ve been eagerly awaiting the arrival of Flanker Kitchen and Sporting Club (6 N. Rio Grande Street, Ste. 35, 801-683-7070, flankerslc.com) since we got word it would take over the spot previously occupied by Punch Bowl Social Club at The Gateway. Now, a few short months after we got news of its arrival, this novel approach to dining and nightlife has finally opened its doors. It boasts a casual contemporary American restaurant, three bars, a zillion LED screens for watching all the sportsball games, a karaoke room, sport simulator rooms, a nightclub and a cocktail lounge. I can’t wait to see what this new spot has to offer.

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Fans of all things lomo saltdado will want to check out the Peru Mucho Gusto Feria Gastronomica this weekend. It’s an offshoot of the annual MegaPeruvian Festival that happens in the summer, but honestly, the more Peruvian food festivals we get to have during the year, the better. It’s shaping up to be an event that hardcore Peruvian food fans and newbies alike will be able to sink their teeth into, and it’s a great opportunity to take a deep dive into Peruvian culture. The event takes place at the Greek Center (279 S. 300 West) on Dec. 11 from 11 a.m. to 6 p.m., and admission is free.

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A Story of More Woe

West Side Story infuses the musical’s own greatness with greater awareness of modern divisions.

charisma. Faist makes for a memorably coiled and edgy Riff, conveying a real sense of menace. Then there’s Ariana DeBose, in the role of Bernardo’s girlfriend Anita that won Moreno an Oscar, who could easily match that honor; she explodes with energy during the wry exuberance of performing “America,” while also nailing the scenes that require a shift of emotions captured by body language and eye movements. Indeed, the only real weak link here is Elgort, whose Tony is supposed to be recently released from prison and trying to rein in his violent side, but is never once convincing as an ex-gang member. Still, there’s emotion by the bucketsful here, and not just because this is a movie that gets to showcase soaring Leonard Bernstein/Sondheim compositions like “María,” “Tonight” and “One Hand, One Heart.” Kushner’s script occasionally tips its hat back to Shakespeare, but more often it’s subtly infused with a mournfulness about our own divisions. There’s an undercurrent of tension in “I Feel Pretty” being performed by immigrants play-acting at being wealthy white people while cleaning a department store, while one Jet’s ultimate acknowledgement of the gender-nonconforming Anybodys (Iris Menas) feels

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almost heartbreaking. In one of the more noteworthy changes from the source material, this West Side Story gives the mournful “Somewhere” to Rita Moreno’s Valentina, a character whose marriage to a white man many years earlier did not portend the kind of wider-spread racial unity she might have dreamed of. It hardly required a complete demolition and rebuilding of West Side Story to turn it into a contemporary tale about tribalism leading to destructive violence. While we’re appreciating everything that has always been monumental about one of America’s greatest theatrical musicals, we can also mourn how little has changed in 60 years, no matter how much we say we want love to conquer all. CW

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Ansel Elgort and Rachel Zegler in West Side Story

American Dream. If that sounds like Kushner and Spielberg are planning to deliver a lecture, that’s far from the case. While Spielberg’s directing aesthetic hasn’t necessarily been as overtly “musical” as that of, say, Martin Scorsese, his first musical film demonstrates an instinctive sense for how to highlight Justin Peck’s re-staging of Jerome Robbins’ classic choreography, allowing the dance scenes to flow without frustrating over-editing. He also constructs some of the set pieces with a terrific eye to evoking their stage roots, like the construction-site setting for “Cool” or the police station in “Dear Officer Krupke” where the rambunctious Jets keep repurposing the benches for various scenarios. Spielberg’s longtime cinematographer collaborator Janusz Kaminski leans perhaps a bit too heavily into lens flares, yet also delivers a color palette that evokes the Technicolor majesty of the 1961 film. Visually, it’s almost always thrilling. And the casting gives it even more of a kick. As wonderful as it is to see 1961 West Side Story cast member Rita Moreno on hand as the shopkeeper who employs Tony, the less-familiar faces really deliver the goods here. Zegler is a beautiful and beautifully-voiced María, oozing big-screen

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

he first image in director Steven Spielberg’s new adaptation of West Side Story is rubble—construction debris as part of the “slum clearance” on the West Side of Manhattan in the late 1950s to make way for what would become Lincoln Center. Since the Romeo & Julietinspired plot of the 1957 stage musical famously involves an ill-fated romance— between white youth Tony (Ansel Elgort) and Puerto Rican María (Rachel Zegler)— set against a turf war between white and Puerto Rican street gangs led, respectively by Tony’s best friend Riff (Mike Faist) and María’s brother Bernardo (David Alvarez), it’s an effective way to highlight what it is they’re actually fighting over. And what they’re fighting over is a neighborhood that effectively no longer exists. It’s not as though screenwriter Tony Kushner is starting from scratch in exploring the simmering racial animus at the heart of this material; the late, great Stephen Sondheim was telling us 60 years ago when he wrote “Life is all right in America / If you’re all-white in America.” This version of West Side Story, however, gives that notion a spike of contemporary relevance without ever destabilizing the firm foundation of the source material. Here is a tale of poor white people and poor brown people turning against one another over a shrinking, increasingly gentrified sliver of the

20TH CENTURY STUDIOS

BY SCOTT RENSHAW scottr@cityweekly.net @scottrenshaw

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Bringing Back the Battle

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elour’s Battle of the Bands is a bi-annual competition series, where local bands compete against each other in a multi-night series of shows at the Provo venue—and it’s back for the first time in two years. While winning can hold serious starmaking potential, the competition remains more about community-building than about taking home a title or any prizes. From Velour’s owner Corey Fox to the participating bands, everyone has their own reasons to be glad that the Battle of the Bands is back. “I think most people would assume that I get mountains of emails every day from local bands trying to set up shows,” Fox says, on the way BOTB fits into the Velour ecosystem. “Truthfully, I do get mountains of emails, but most are from small regional touring bands, cover bands or bands not quite within our musical format. Almost all bands I work into our normal show rotation are from these BOTB submissions and participants. It really is the main way we keep this scene fresh, evolving and not stagnant.” This upcoming Battle consists of 20 artists, spread out in lineups of four per night over a series of nights from Monday, Dec. 6 to Saturday, Dec. 11; on the final day of competition, the winners are announced. All bands’ 25-minute sets are rated by a panel of judges with backgrounds in the music industry, on qualities like musicianship, songwriting capability (no covers are allowed), crowd response, stage presence and vocal performance, with the chance to earn bonus points from crowd votes, and by bringing in more than 30 attendees to the show. The last consideration is important not just for BOTB, but any show put on at Velour—because at the end of the day Velour is a business, and musicians can benefit from understanding that, too. Nicole McMahan, who is scheduled to perform Thursday, Dec. 9, sees that side of things. “I think that Battle of the Bands, specifically at Velour, has become an enduring tradition because of the larger names that have won and then went on to break onto a national or global level. But beyond that quick, obvious reason, I think it has also been an enduring tradition because it is really beneficial and rewarding for everyone involved. Corey does it to find new acts to add to his line up, but I think he is also really passionate about having local bands interact with each other and build collaborative relationships.” Other participants like The Sols, who played on Tuesday, Dec. 7, agree. “Yes, it is a competition, but very few bands get competitive. It’s a fun environment to meet other artists and play shows together.” The Sols shared the stage with Chi Chi Le Mot, who say much of the same. “Many of the people we meet [at BOTB], we will share the stage with for years to come. Battle of the Bands has endured because it is a great way for music-lovers to discover and support local talent. We are excited to become fans of new bands we’ve not

KRISTIN GULLEDGE

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CONCERT PREVIEW

Brumby Winning Past BOTB at Velour yet heard, as well as to get discovered by future fans.” “I often say that these Battle of the Bands are a major teaching tool, disguised as a competition: Bands meet together, game-plan promotion, talk about how to improve their performance, crowd interaction, etc.,” explains Fox. “After the competition, I’ll often tell bands, ‘You know all of that extra work you put into your Battle of the Bands performance to give you a better chance to succeed? Well, the successful bands in this scene treat every show that way.’ And that’s true.” Is this the key to Provo’s reputation for churning out ambitious and successful musicians? Past winners do include Neon Trees, Imagine Dragons, The Aces and The Backseat Lovers, all of whom now have large fan bases nationally and even internationally. “I think in general, Battle of the Bands competitions have a juvenile stereotype, but I think at this point ours has proven to be a legitimate launching pad for new bands,” explains Fox. And while it’s the first time performing in BOTB for many of this round’s slated acts, all appreciate it’s significance. One of these is MJ Wood (playing Friday, Dec. 10), who call it a dream come true to play at a venue where they grew up seeing their favorite bands play. McMahan feels the same, saying, “I’m excited to be part of a long list of incredible talent that has graced Velour’s stage and just have fun with a lot of bands I’ve never gotten to interact with. Especially with losing over a year to COVID, there are so many new bands that I haven’t seen live or even heard of at all.” All the artists share in common that same general sense of excitement just to see each other play, and the enthusiasm is wholesome, plain and simple. While the first three nights of competition will have passed by this publication date, three nights of competition remain, rounded out by Sunfish, Kin Lodge, Basement Waves, Cardinal Bloom, Bly Wallentine and Welcome Home Sundance. Each show is all-ages, starts at 7:30 p.m. and costs $10. Visit @velorulive on Instagram for full lineups and info. CW

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Specializing in the kind of glittery, stuttering, euphoric indietronica that made them festival favorites alongside groups of the same mind like Purity Ring and The Naked And Famous, CHVRCHES have long been a decidedly goodtime band. However, that’s changed somewhat with their recent album, Screen Violence, which came out this year and which they’re touring behind now. The album delves into all the horrors of being a woman, being in the spotlight and the specific horror of being both of those things at once, utilizing tropes from the horror film genre to get there. The 10 tracks on the album go from the visceral violence of drowning and running for one’s life, to maddening psychological horror (“He Said She Said”) where frontwoman Lauren Mayberry exclaims that she feels like she’s losing her mind in a world of hypercriticism and doublestandards. The dropp-y beats and undulating synths that have defined CVRCHES’ sound over the years find a new purpose here, casting the album with a shade of anxiety and crisis. There’s even a guest appearance from The Cure’s Robert Smith to put things decidedly in the category of darkness. Catch the touring Scots and the whole album when they stop at The Union Event Center on Friday, Dec. 10, alongside opener Donna Missal. The show is all-ages, starts at 7 p.m. and tickets are $34.50 at theunioneventcenter.com.

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Right on the heels of Friendsgiving gatherings are Friendsmas gatherings— though following different kin-based holidays, both share festiveness and the value of uniting with friends for holiday revelry. Friendsmas21’s Punk Rock X-Mas is no different, and it’s just the place for SLC punks to gather and celebrate the spirit of the season—for a good cause. Alongside entertainment from local punk rock band Racist Kramer, who just released their new album In Redemption this year, the event is also going to be a fundraiser benefiting the Utah Domestic Violence Coalition. Host Terry Myers will keep things light as the bands keep things heavy; besides Racist Kramer’s rapid-fire punk stylings, Fail To Follow and Cop Drama will also keep the evening rowdy, alongside acts like Dana Shroyer. The event is free, which should make it even easier for attendees to shell out for the raffle, which features thousands of dollars in prizes from local businesses. X-Mas with all your punk friends goes down on Friday, Dec. 10 at 7 p.m., and the show is 21+. Visit theurbanloungeslc.com for more info.

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A Galaxy Band Christmas Cabaret at Sugar Space Arts Warehouse

If you’d prefer your holiday celebrations come with a little glitz and glam, head over to the Sugar Space Arts Warehouse this weekend for just that. There you’ll find a holiday cabaret put on by the one and only rock ‘n’ roll drag queen Marrlo Suzzanne and his crew of similarly stunning musicians, the Galaxy Band. Suzzanne has made quite a name for himself over the last few months, ever since City Weekly profiled his efforts to fuse all the fun of a full band performance with the dazzle of a drag show. For this event, he’ll be combining his repertoire of ’70s and ’80s rock covers with more seasonal material, and there’s no doubt he’ll add the appropriate holiday flair. He won’t be onstage alone, either. Joining him in song will be more local drag artists and singers, like Giovanna Doty, M’lady Wood and Skye Dahl. With entertainment covered, attendees can also look forward to refreshments at the Sugar Space Cafe, which includes a full bar. And what Christmas Cabaret would be complete without an appearance from Santa Claus himself? After the revelry, snag a Polaroid with the Claus on your way out, and don’t forget to tell him that for Christmas you want more cabarets like this one. This event is all-ages, starts at 7 p.m. and is $10 - $20 at facebook.com/sugarspaceslc.

COURTESY PHOTO

Caroline Polachek

ill.Gates at Soundwell

Local electronic music lovers and event promoters Syndicate are here just in time for the holidays with an annual tradition well worth checking out. For their annual Abominable Snow Bunny Ball, they’ve booked electronic music producer ill.Gates as headliner, and he’ll play nicely with the other acts on the lineup and with the wicked theme for the night—The Nightmare Before Christmas. ill.Gates himself specializes in a trippy, jumpy kind of production that’s still moody and low-key at most moments—his music doesn’t overwhelm the senses as much as it feels like it’d be easy to step into the show late and immediately melt into his vibes. Support comes from SLC-based artist Dekai, who will also be celebrating the release of his latest EP, LEVEL UP, which drops the day before the show on Friday, Dec. 10. The songs on the EP feature a lot of multi-dimensional, deep and rippling production that contrasts often against big, blown-out beats that only add to the rich textures Dekai has crafted. Joining Dekai is another SLC local, Syn. Aesthetic, who also favors trippy, bass-filled production. Syndicate’s Abominable Snow Bunny Ball comes to you this Saturday, Dec. 11 at 9 p.m. at Soundwell. The show is 21+ and tickets are $16 at soundwellslc.com.

Caroline Polachek at The Urban Lounge

Weirdo pop has been the pop that’s been booming with listeners the last few years; it’s the kind of stuff that takes the tropes and the bright-andshiny sheen of pop production that have known radio fame over the last few decades, and strips off the traditional bubblegum. A slew of artists are taking their own freaky interpretations of pop into the mainstream, and Caroline Polachek is one of them, with her ethereal, sensual and surprising productions. Besides constructing engaging and emotional landscapes lately with the help of P.C. Music affiliate Danny L Harle, her super-high soprano voice is incredibly unique, varying from swooning sighs to sharp gasps to guttural screams, all at dramatically-timed moments. She even used her voice as an auto tuned guitar solo machine on hits like “So Hot You’re Hurting My Feelings,” from her 2019 album Pang—a work which journeys through heartbreak and all its phases. Though this marked her first solo album under her own name, Polachek has actually been a wavemaker for a long time—in 2008, her band Chairlift released their first album, Does You Inspire You, which put them and her on the map of indie disruptors at the time. Listening back to that, it’s clear that Polachek’s long been a visionary when it comes to making fresh, startling and delicious music. Her latest, the 2021 single “Bunny Is A Rider,” is far flung from Pang’s pained yearnings—it’s dance-ready and made for flirting. So go do both at her show on Saturday, Dec. 11 when she comes to The Urban Lounge with opener Oklou. At press time the show is sold out, but find updates at theurbanloungeslc.com.

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DECEMBER SHOWS No Shooting Friends, Joseph // Comp // Bliss Witch

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12/9

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12/10 Angie Petty // Gangus Kong // The Ninos

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36 | DECEMBER 9, 2021

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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY B Y R O B

B R E Z S N Y

Go to realastrology.com for Rob Brezsny’s expanded weekly audio horoscopes and daily text-message horoscopes. Audio horoscopes also available by phone at 877-873-4888 or 900-950-7700.

ARIES (March 21-April 19) Aries filmmaker Andrei Tarkovsky (1932–1986) was experimental and innovative and influential. His imagery was often dreamlike, and his themes, metaphysical. He felt that the most crucial aspect of his creative process was his faith. If he could genuinely believe in the work he was doing, he was sure he’d succeed at even the most improbable projects. But that was a challenge for him. “There is nothing more difficult to achieve than a passionate, sincere, quiet faith,” he said. In accordance with your astrological omens during the next 12 months, Aries, I suggest you draw inspiration from his approach. Cultivating a passionate, sincere, quiet faith will be more attainable than it has ever been.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) In the first season of the animated TV series South Park, its two creators produced an episode called “Make Love, Not Warcraft.” The story lovingly mocked nerds and the culture of online gaming. Soon after sending his handiwork to executive producers, Libran co-creator Trey Parker decided it was a terrible show that would wreck his career. He begged for it to be withheld from broadcast. But the producers ignored his pleas. That turned out to be a lucky break. The episode ultimately won an Emmy award and became popular with fans. I foresee the possibility of comparable events in your life, Libra. Don’t be too sure you know which of your efforts will work best.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20) “All journeys have secret destinations of which the traveler is unaware,” said philosopher Martin Buber. How true! I would add that the traveler is wise to prepare for the challenges and opportunities of those secret destinations … and be alert for them if they appear … and treat them with welcome and respect, not resistance and avoidance. When travelers follow those protocols, they are far more likely to be delightfully surprised than disappointingly surprised. Everything I just said will apply to you in the coming weeks, Taurus.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) Nobel Prize-winning Scorpio author André Gide (1869–1951) had an unusual relationship with his wife Madeleine Rondeaux. Although married for 43 years, they never had sex. As long as she was alive, he never mentioned her in his extensive writings. But after she died, he wrote a book about their complex relationship. Here’s the best thing he ever said about her: “I believe it was through her that I drew the need for truthfulness and sincerity.” I’d love for you to be lit up by an influence like Madeleine Rondeaux, Scorpio. I’d be excited for you to cultivate a bond with a person who will inspire your longing to be disarmingly candid and refreshingly genuine. If there are no such characters in your life, go looking for them. If there are, deepen your connection.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) “I have pasts inside me I did not bury properly,” writes Nigerian poet Ijeoma Umebinyuo. Isn’t that true for each of us? Don’t we all carry around painful memories as if they were still fresh and current? With a little work, we could depotentize at least some of them and consign them to a final resting place where they wouldn’t nag and sting us anymore. The good news, Capricorn, is that the coming weeks will be an excellent time to do just that: bury any pasts that you have not properly buried before now.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) Black is your lucky color for the foreseeable future. I invite you to delve further than ever before into its mysteries and meanings and powers. I encourage you to celebrate blackness and honor blackness and nurture blackness in every way you can imagine. For inspiration, meditate on how, in art, black is the presence of all colors. In printing, black is a color needed to produce other colors. In mythology, blackness is the primal source of all life and possibility. In psychology, blackness symbolizes the rich unconscious core from which all vitality emerges.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) According to professor of classics Anne Carson, ancient Greek author Homer “suggested we stand in time with our backs to the future, face to the past.” And why would we do that? To “search for the meaning of the present—scanning history and myth for a precedent.” I bring this to your attention, Pisces, because I think you should avoid such an approach in the coming months. In my view, the next chapter of your life story will be so new, so unpredicted, that it will have no antecedents, no precursory roots that might illuminate its plot and meaning.

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LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) In his poem “Song of Poplars,” Leo author Aldous Huxley speaks to a stand of poplar trees. He asks them if they are an “agony of undefined desires.” Now I will pose the same question to you, Leo. Are you an agony of undefined desires? Or are you a treasury of well-defined desires? I hope it’s the latter. But if it’s not, the coming weeks will be an excellent time to fix the problem. Learning to be precise about the nature of your longings is your growing edge, your frontier. Find out more about what you want, please.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) In February 1967, the Beatles recorded their album Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band in London. A man claiming to be Jesus Christ convinced Paul McCartney to let him weasel his way into the studio. McCartney later said that he was pretty sure it wasn’t the real Jesus. But if by some remote chance it was, he said, he didn’t want to make a big mistake. I bring this to your attention, Aquarius, because I suspect that comparable events may be brewing in your vicinity. My advice: Don’t assume you already know who your teachers and helpers are. Here’s the relevant verse from the Bible: “Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it.”

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CANCER (June 21-July 22) Many sportswriters regard Michael Jordan as the greatest basketball player ever. He was the Most Valuable Player five times and had a higher scoring average than anyone else who has ever played. And yet he confesses, “I have missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I have lost almost 300 games. And I have failed over and over and over again in my life.” He says the keys to his success are his familiarity with bungles and his determination to keep going despite his bungles. I invite you to meditate on Jordan’s example in the coming days.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) A fashion company called Tibi sells a silver mini dress that features thousands of sequins. It’s also available in gold. I wonder if the designers were inspired by poet Mark Doty’s line: “No such thing, the queen said, as too many sequins.” In my astrological estimation, the coming weeks will be a fun time to make this one of your mottoes. You will have a poetic license to be flashy, shiny, bold, swanky, glittery, splashy, sparkling and extravagant. If expressing such themes in the way you dress isn’t appealing, embody more metaphorical versions.

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GEMINI (May 21-June 20) Gemini sleight-of-hand artist Apollo Robbins may be the best and most famous pickpocket in the world. Fortunately, he uses his skill for entertainment purposes only. He doesn’t steal strangers’ money and valuables from their pockets and purses and jackets. On one occasion, while in the company of former U.S. President Jimmy Carter, he pilfered multiple items from a secret service agent assigned to protect Carter. He gave the items back, of course. It was an amusing and humbling lesson that inspired many law-enforcement officials to seek him out as a consultant. I suspect that in the coming weeks, you may have comparable abilities to trick, fool, beguile and enchant. I hope you will use your superpowers exclusively to carry out good deeds and attract inviting possibilities.

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BY DAVID LEVINSON WILK

ACROSS

1. “Weekend, here I come!” 2. Naïve sort 3. Furious 4. Bird that, despite its name, can make soft grunting sounds 5. Dennis, to Mr. Wilson 6. Like some twins and grins

Buh-bye, iBuyer

7. Leakes of “The Real Housewives of Atlanta” 8. Sue at Chicago’s Field Museum, e.g. 9. Silk and wool, for two 10. “Don’t worry about us” 11. Top awards for Spanish Olympians 12. Frees (of) 13. Susan of “L.A. Law” 21. Fam. members 22. Explorer who proved that Greenland is an island 25. Throng 26. Word derived from the Japanese for “picture writing” 27. Fling 28. Scientist who was friends with Mark Twain 29. Amelia Earhart, e.g. 30. Late-night TV host ____ Ruffin 31. Surf sounds 32. “Swiper, no swiping!” speaker of children’s TV 33. Hammer feature 37. Mythical figure known for ribaldry 38. “What chutzpah!” 40. Like a person recovering from a bad cold, maybe 41. Bogus 43. Cried “Uncle!” 44. Gorillas beat theirs

47. In ____ (stuck) 48. Not looking good at all 49. Singles at bars, e.g.? 50. Like some threats 51. Santa’s coat? 52. Père ____ (Santa Claus, in France) 53. Packed with plasticware, perhaps 54. Obsessive fan, in slang 55. One might say “Recalculating” after a wrong turn

Last week’s answers

No math is involved. The grid has numbers, but nothing has to add up to anything else. Solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic. Solving time is typically 10 to 30 minutes, depending on your skill and experience.

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Complete the grid so that each row, column, diagonal and 3x3 square contain all of the numbers 1 to 9.

1. Make a little shorter 5. Suffix with puzzle 9. It may be blurted when yelling “#%@!” 14. Spiritual leader often pictured sitting cross-legged 15. On any occasion 16. Aptly named American Eagle store 17. “Su-u-ure” 18. Number of square feet in a square yard 19. “The Pianist” Oscar winner Adrien 20. It rebranded to its circled letters in 1994 23. “Be there in a ____!” 24. Last letters sung in “Old MacDonald” 25. It rebranded to its circled letters in 2015 33. Deep sleeps 34. Estate tax payers 35. “Milk me!” 36. “Battlefield Earth” author ____ Hubbard 37. “r u 4 real?” 38. Ski slope conveyance 39. Tall, dark or handsome: Abbr. 40. Paul : U.S. :: ____ : Italy 41. The Princess of Power, in cartoons 42. It rebranded to its circled letters in 2018 45. U.S. gymnast Raisman with three Olympic gold medals 46. First name of a film character whose letters appear in “Harrison” 47. Attention-getters for people with short attention spans (see circled letters) 55. “Peer Gynt” composer 56. Wedding promises 57. Tooth part 58. Jewish holiday when the book of Esther is read 59. ____ twist 60. “Tom’s Diner” singer Suzanne 61. Longtime U.S. congressman ____ Hoyer 62. Broadway backdrops 63. Musk who, in 2021, called himself “the first person with Asperger’s to host [SNL] -- or at least the first to admit it”

SUDOKU X

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38 | DECEMBER 9, 2021

CROSSWORD PUZZLE

Real estate platform Zillow announced last month that it would give up its iBuyer program. It worked like this: A homeowner could go online, get an offer for their home within 24 hours and get a check in the mail by the end of the week. But methinks the reason they gave up the program was that the buyer—Zillow—was paying what its “Zestimates” said the homes were worth. And those “Zestimates” were notoriously, and wildly, off in many instances. The point of iBuyer was for Zillow to buy a home, then update it and sell quickly at a higher value. It’s a growing market that many real estate investment groups are using these days, and that’s why Zillow got into the game in 2018. But Zillow told CBS affiliate WUSA in November: “We’ve determined the unpredictability in forecasting home prices far exceeds what we anticipated and continuing to scale Zillow Offers would result in too much earnings and balance-sheet volatility.” In other words, Zillow ended up buying houses that they then realized were overpriced upon close of escrow. According to a Zillow earnings report this quarter, the company lost millions of dollars. A spokesperson said the company had to lay off 25% of its workforce when the decision was made to shut down Zillow Offers, and recent reports suggest the company had built up a cache of nearly 10,000 homes. What is the wisdom here? There are plenty of online real estate sites offering homeowners cash for their properties, promising fast closings with no hassles. Take your belongings and leave any crap you want—just walk away, grab your cash and head off to Disneyland. Studies of these types of purchases have found that the demographic for a seller prone to take this kind of offer is typically someone who is over 50 years old, living in a property that may not be updated and could be run down. These homeowners are looking for an easy way out, without having a plethora of buyers traipse through their property if it were to be listed on the MLS. How do you maximize your potential sales price in a smoking hot market? The average homeowner who’s not a real estate agent doesn’t have access to sales data of properties in their neighborhood, nor are they versed in how to determine potential property value based on comparable data. For example, the basic rule of thumb for appraisers in determining value is to find sales of similar properties in the past 90 days in an area of about 10 blocks surrounding the subject property, of similar age, square footage and condition. They draw their information from the same MLS that we as Realtors use, rather than randomly searching the web for people bragging about how much they sold their home for this year. What we as realtors and appraisers don’t use is your evaluation from the tax assessor to determine what your home is worth. These evaluations come out during the summer of each year and are based on a mathematical formula and data provided by Realtors to determine value. n Content is prepared expressly for Community and is not endorsed by City Weekly staff.

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High Standards The 10-foot-tall artificial Christmas tree that the town council installed in the Grimsby town center in England left locals underwhelmed, Grimsby Live reported—to the point that the council had the expensive decoration removed. Snarky comments included one from a resident who said he had a bigger tree in his house, and another called it “an insult to Grimsby.” The council responded that the tree cost more than 1,000 pounds but said it had been installed too early, and the traditional live tree from a nearby farm would be installed on Nov. 25. The fake tree will be reinstalled for a Christmas market.

Least Competent Criminals Jerry McDonald of Chattanooga, Tennessee, was with an acquaintance when he passed out from drinking. His friend, trying to help out, took McDonald’s phone to text his boss that he wouldn’t be in to work that afternoon. But instead, the friend found alarming texts in which McDonald detailed a plan to kill an unnamed woman and take her money: “Please kill her babe, please. I’m begging you. There’s over a million in her dad’s safe. I’m saying I won’t get caught,” McDonald had texted, according to NewsChannel9-TV. But, of course, he did get caught, and now is held in the Hamilton County jail on $75,000 bond.

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Lost and Found A lost ring will soon find its way home—after 70 years. Kelly Stewart of Richfield, Utah, found the ring in 2019 while using his metal detector in the yard of an abandoned home. It’s a 10-karat gold ring from the 1943 class of the Colorado School of Mines, inscribed with the initials “R.W.D.” Kelly found a 1948 yearbook from the school on eBay, which revealed the ring’s likely owner: Richard William Deneke. Deneke is nearing his 100th birthday at a nursing home in Georgia, and Stewart plans to mail the ring back to him. “I think it’s amazing,” Deneke told Stewart in a phone call. n A special bear is back home where he belongs. Stuffed bear Teddy was the first gift Ben and Addie Pascal of Jackson Hole, Wyoming, sent to their daughter Naomi before adopting her in 2016. Naomi, now 6, brought Teddy on family trips to Ethiopia, Rwanda, Croatia, Greece—and, last October, to Glacier National Park in Montana. By the time the family realized Teddy was lost, snowfall had closed the higher elevations of the park for the season. Ranger Tom Mazzarisi found Teddy on a trail and couldn’t bring himself to throw out the toy, instead keeping it as a mascot on his dashboard all winter. Nearly a year later, the Pascals’ family friend Terri Hayden visited Glacier and spotted a stuffed bear in a ranger’s truck. After confirming it was Teddy, Mazzarisi returned the bear—along with a junior park ranger badge and ranger hat. Get Down Cable network BET broke a Guinness World Record in Harlem by recruiting 536 people to dance in the world’s longest soul train line. The line included original dancers from the Soul Train TV show, as well as a marching band and hundreds of local residents. A Guinness official was there to make sure participants followed the rules, including dancing “in pairs for at least 40 feet to qualify as a soul train.” The group took the record from Goodyear Ballpark in Arizona, which gathered a 426-person soul train line in 2014. Send weird news items to WeirdNewsTips@amuniversal.com

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Rock On Missouri man Kyle Scheele, with the help of friends, made a cardboard cutout of himself “jamming out with a pizza guitar” and advertising something called the “Kyle Scheele Meal.” He then placed the cutout in a local gas station, and after the fake ad went viral on TikTok, convenience store chain Kum & Go made the Scheele Meal real. It included a Red Bull and a pizza sandwich, “which is just two pieces of pizza smashed face-to-face,” Scheele said. The promotion ran for about a week, with Kum & Go donating $2 of every $5 meal to the charity No Kid Hungry.

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Terrifying and Gross Seizures are frightening enough, but seizures caused by tapeworms add an element of “eww.” According to doctors in Massachusetts who recently described the case in the New England Journal of Medicine, the otherwise-healthy 38-yearold man had had dead tapeworm cysts lodged in his brain for decades—a relatively rare form of infestation called neurocysticercosis. When these cysts become stuck in the brain, they can cause pressure, inflammation and neurological symptoms that are sometimes confused for brain tumors. But symptoms may not manifest for years. This man’s cysts caused no problems until three years ago, when he fell out of bed, “shaking and speaking gibberish,” then had a two-minute seizure on the way to the hospital. Luckily, he was discharged after five days of treatment and remains in good health today.

Nope In Aswan, Egypt, recent inclement weather—including “vicious rain, dust storms and snow”—has forced hordes of scorpions from their usual hiding places and into homes and streets. BBC News reported that three people have died so far from scorpion stings, and 450 have been injured. The injured are being treated with antivenom. Health officials have even had to recruit doctors who were on vacation to help with the influx of patients.

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n Canada may want to rethink opening its border to Americans after Vivian Richards, 48, of Oakland Park, Florida, tried to smuggle 56 guns into Sarnia, Ontario, in the trunk of her car on Nov. 1. Richards was referred for secondary inspection, DH News reported, after officers of the Canada Border Services Agency looked in her trunk. Along with the firearms, they found 13 overcapacity magazines, 43 pistol magazines and 100 rounds of ammunition. She faces several charges, including possession for the purpose of weapons trafficking.

Do You Hear That? Residents of Barwell, a small English town, have been dealing with an unexplained noise for about a year. It’s been described as “a humming noise,” a “low-frequency droning sound” and a “horrible din” that never stops, according to Leicestershire Live. Resident Ange Redshaw said, “At night, even lying on the pillow, you can feel the vibration, it’s that loud. During the day, I can hear it over traffic noise.” And now it seems to be spreading: Brian Heath, a resident of nearby Stapleton, says he has heard the “slow, rolling, rumbling sound” for a few weeks. “It’s quite a heavy noise ... You can feel the pressure on your body,” he said. No cause has yet been identified.

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