City Weekly May 23, 2019 by Copperfield Publishing

CWCONTENTS COVER STORY PASS THE POPCORN

This movie season, ditch the box office big hitters and opt for these indie releases instead. Cover illustration by Derek Carlisle

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KELAN LYONS, p. 11 Whether it was reporting on Utah’s archaic alcohol laws, giving a voice to those caught in immigration limbo or taking an e-scooter ride with DA Sim Gill, the now Report for America fellow left his mark in our newsroom. Writing this week on a sizable donation made by the guv to two LGBTQ organizations, Lyons departs on quite the high note.

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COMMENTS@CITYWEEKLY.NET

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Cover story, May 9 “Still Great?”

Ummmmm … maybe wait until this year’s record run-off is complete before you start with the Great Salt Lake water level. @SCOTCHSNOB Via Twitter The Great Salt Lake is not going to last forever. It was a sea, remember? MANNIE LUGO Via Facebook We don’t need a stupid lake. We need more room for urban sprawl. DAVE CALDWELL Via Facebook Many discount the Great Salt Lake, but if you know me, you know I love it with my whole heart! CHAUCIE BROOKE WAKEFIELD Via Facebook

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The Great Salt Lake is a terminal lake—a lake with no outlets, meaning that our water planning figures heavily in its future as a lake. Save a lake. Save wildlife. Save time … kill your lawn. DUSTIN CLARK Via Facebook Know what would be a good thing to implement? Lawn tax. The larger square-footage of lawn, the higher the tax. Added incentive: Lower taxes for people who xeriscape or turn lawns into edible gardens.

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Additional rebates of cash for people who kill their lawns and invest in xeriscaping. KARI TAYLOR SCHRECK Via Facebook Nah. We just need to stop penalizing people for not having lawns, stop subsidizing water so much above a certain volume per billing cycle, and let it sort itself out. Right now, there are a lot of places in the valley where you can be fined for choosing not to have a large lawn. That’s ludicrous. DUSTIN CLARK Via Facebook

Opinion, May 9, “The Higher Law”

Who knows where the voice of prophecy will come from? It’s an old LDS belief that in the last days the “Constitution will hang by a thread” and that “it will be saved by the Elders of the Church.” Some members of the church have also observed that those same elders could well be part of that Constitutional wearing-away. But now, like a voice crying from the Salt Flats comes [author] Michael S. Robinson Sr.’s call for those elders to follow the teachings of their prophets and practice what they preach! Who woulda thunk it? R. MARK READ Via CW comments Michael, I liked your column. The most honest thing that I have read in a long time. KEIVEN GATTON, The Avenues

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To the Editor:

The concept of “False Consciousness” (a way of thinking that prevents a person from perceiving how their society actually works) appears to be rampant all over the planet relative to how popular rightwing populism has become and how people have been suckered into falling for this nonsense. It’s as if people who look different from “us” are what’s wrong in the world as opposed to what really is wrong in the world—the grossly unequal distribution of income, wealth and power. It amazes me how people in our country are given a basically free public school education through high school and yet turn out to be unaware of who really has their best interests at heart and who does not and what’s going on politically in the

U.S.—that the top 1-5% run the country and manipulate the rest of us into believing that what is in their economic interest is also what is best for the other 95-99% of us. Even the so-called liberal-progressive news media fall for this (CNN and MSNBC) as they are obsessed with Trump-bashing and ignore the struggles and problems of the lower- and middle- classes to survive and pay their bills. The truth is that a lower- or middleclass American voting for a conservative-Republican is like a chicken voting for Colonel Sanders. Sincerely, STEWART B. EPSTEIN, Rochester, N.Y. We encourage you to join the conversation. Sound off across our social media channels as well as on cityweekly.net for a chance to be featured in this section.

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OPINION Alabama’s HotPepper Law

Alabama’s new law banning nearly all abortions, and making it a near-capital offense for a doctor to perform one, is like biting into a sandwich full of red-hot Carolina Reapers. Averaging 1.6 million Scoville Heat Units, they’re the hottest peppers known to man. No one’s going to say, “That was delicious!” Even the most religious of the Christian right—not just Alabamians, but “God’s elect” throughout the nation— are running to the bathroom, flushing their mouths with cold water, vomiting and retching, and wondering if the pain will ever end. The law is a monstrosity, and it is having exactly the effect envisioned by those who drafted and passed it. Driven by the need to enforce the will of a few upon the many, it’s an example of how today’s legislative playbook works. Make a law that’s so unpalatable it will offend even the most rabid supporters. That’s what Alabama has done, all with the hope that the law will be vigorously opposed and end up being heard by America’s conservativelyskewed Supreme Court. Nobody believes that the law will stand in its present form, but many think it can be the device for mangling or repealing one of the most important court decisions of all time. Roe v. Wade is the battle hymn, and the self-righteous,

BY MICHAEL S. ROBINSON SR. narcissistic, radicalized zealots are launching the attack. Strains of “Onward, Christian soldiers!” move the mass forward, while, on an individual basis, many of the troops question if the cause is really right. Particularly concerned are the ones whose shields and mail have been modified with varying sizes of seamstress’ darts to accommodate the female form. As they march, they are considering matters like rape and incest, and the prospect of being forced to bear the child of a monster, and feeding and nurturing that child while holding a hidden resentment for its very existence. Those born in a female form suspect that the voices of 25 men in Alabama’s Senate—all smug with their stuffed-shirt righteousness—have twisted the meaning of religion and pulled a fast-one on their constituents. At the center of the problem is the value of life. There’s been much debate on that, but the moral-maniacs have narrowed the definition of “life” right down to a single fertilized egg. These same bigots probably masturbate daily and never even question the matter of killing the little chisel-fishes that start the pregnancy process. Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life had the answer in its highly popular song, “Every Sperm Is Sacred,” as does the Bible with its assertion that “seed spilt” on the ground is a serious sin. Is Alabama’s next legislation going to address the matter of wasted semen, creating draconian penalties for that, as well? Probably not; the 25 white male legislators would never do that to each other. Nor will they ever support mandatory castration for those who choose to limit the size of their families. (Now, that’s a novel idea! Why not? It is, after all, a total solution to the problem. No sex = no pregnancy = no abortions. It all makes perfect sense.) It would be an interesting scenario, indeed, if males were suddenly confronted with

the reality—that legislators were given total control over what men choose to do with their own bodies. I know, the staunch feminist readers are repeating the word: “Yes! Yes!” But, sadly, the voice of a man will carry farther. And, of course, the reality is that sex, for purposes other than making babies, is one of the joys for men and women, so that solution won’t fly. The way these sanctimonious SOBs see it, is that women, as always, will have to pay the price of intercourse, dealing with its consequences for a lifetime. Nature gave men a free pass. Being born into this world as a woman is, in itself, much more than an opportunity. For many, it is a veritable sentence, imposed for having allowed the shine of a gift apple to lure them into “sin.” Every woman in America should be screaming at the top of her lungs. Christians, Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus, Jews. All. What happened in Alabama might be patently ridiculous, yet the growing wave, rising from a miniscule sector of our population, seeks to impose hardship and burden upon women—all in the name of the Christian right. There is no question where this wave originates. The Rabid Orange Raccoon has become the leader of a supposedly-conservative, immoderate right-wing radical base. And, yes, Utah has been complicit in that problem. America is about freedom—freedom to seek our own happiness and to make our own choices. No self-respecting woman can vote for someone whose agenda is to take that freedom away. CW

The author is a former Vietnam-era Army assistant public information officer. He resides in Riverton with his wife, Carol, and one mongrel dog. Send feedback to comments@cityweekly.net

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CITIZEN REV LT IN ONE WEEK, YOU CAN CHANGE THE WORLD

• •

9/11 EXHIBIT

It was the horrific event that changed the course of the U.S. and arguably turned the tide toward a national paranoia and creeping xenophobia. This 9/11 Exhibit is one-of-a-kind, touring the nation in a high-tech trailer that transforms into a 1,000-square-foot exhibit. “This exhibit includes actual steel beams from the towers, documentary videos, recordings of first-responder radio transmissions and interactive guided tours by FDNY firefighters,” the event’s Facebook page says. Starting with an escort from Camp Wiliams, the opening ceremony is at 11 a.m. on Thursday, May 23. Centennial Park, 5405 W. 3100 South, West Valley City, 801-955-4000, ThursdaySaturday, May 23-29, times vary, free, bit.ly/2WN9Mb7.

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STONEWALL SCREENING

Yes, it’s almost time to show your pride. Why not start with Before Stonewall— SLC Free Screening. It was in the early hours of June 28, 1969, when New York City police raided the Stonewall Inn, a gay club in Greenwich Village. The bust was followed by six days of protests and violence, and is commonly seen as the catalyst for America’s gay rights movement. Not only was homosexuality illegal, but New York also had a criminal statute against wearing anything but gender-appropriate clothing. This film traces the history of oppression that led to the riots, and is revealing and humorous. There will be a post-film discussion organized by the Utah Pride Center. Main Library, 210 E. 400 South, Tuesday, May 28, 7-9 p.m., free, bit.ly/30uu9fx.

BUDGET WORKSHOP

OK, this sounds tiresome. But hey, you’ve probably read that the nation owes a lot of money and things are only getting worse. To try to understand that, Rep. Ben McAdams is holding an Interactive Budget Workshop to address the current budget challenges. The event is being held with The Concord Coalition, a non-partisan organization focused on addressing the nation’s unsustainable debt. Maybe it doesn’t look like a recession’s inevitable, but the Congressional Budget Office says the U.S. will continue to see rising debt, expected to grow to 92% of gross domestic product in 2029, up from 78% in 2019, the largest projected share since 1947. If you’re a fan of tax cuts—or not—this workshop will open your eyes. Salt Lake Community College, 4600 S. Redwood Road, Wednesday, May 29, 6-8 p.m., free, bit.ly/2VG2SYu.

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HITS&MISSES BY KATHARINE BIELE @kathybiele

Caked in Religion

We hate to encourage the “War on Religion” dialogue, but here goes. No, in the U.S., we don’t care how crazy your religion is, we kind of like that you can believe in intergalactic supreme beings or serpentine multi-armed gods or even nothing at all. It’s the American way. But lately, everyone seems to be getting into the act with differing interpretations of the Constitution. Poor Sen. Mike Lee floated a religious freedom bill, only to be condemned by those who saw the thinly veiled anti-LGBTQ provisions. The Deseret News saw fit to run a front-page story on the Sutherland Institute’s take that nobody’s right and we all just have to get along. That’s not working, is it? Sadly, Rep. Ben McAdams got heat for the Equality Act when Rep. Chris Stewart weighed in with, “If this legislation was really about equality, it would protect religious freedom.” The LDS church wants you to take to social media in defense of religion. Ultimately, it’s all about cakes, and maybe Muslims. And the war continues.

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Fixin’ Gimmes

Utah got a top spot in a Wall Street Journal article about “fixers” getting tax breaks to bring businesses to the states. “Georgia rolls out a red carpet for them at the Masters Golf Tournament. Kentucky gets them tickets to the Kentucky Derby. Arkansas takes them on a private duck hunt with the governor. Utah recently arranged a private ski trip with an Olympic medalist,” the story begins. So, what’s the big deal, other than Utah prioritizing business over people? Maybe it’s the motivation. These consultants work on commission often based on the size of the incentive package. And there’s little or no oversight—even though it’s the public’s money they’re after. The Utah event referenced at the Grand America included huge gimmes and, “It was hard to find any part of the event that didn’t have a state logo on it.” But yeah, the argument is that everyone’s doing it.

We Rock the Vote

Utah’s a red state, but it has long been progressive on voting rights. Now the Pew Charitable Trusts has moved the state up from 45th to 13th in the country for voter turnout. According to KUTV Channel 2, 2018 was the first year all counties used same-day registration and vote-at-home options. And Utah allows drivers to automatically register when they get a new driver license, though it’s an opt-in deal. Turnout benefitted, and went up from 37% in 2014 to 58% last year. It’s all good news unless you consider Proposition 2, the medical cannabis initiative. Now, Utah has to hope voters will sustain enthusiasm for ballot initiatives in the upcoming elections— even though the Legislature tends to step in and eviscerate them.

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LGBTQ

The most powerful elected official in Utah gave $60,000 to two LGBTQ organizations working to prevent suicides. This is how they will allocate those funds. BY KELAN LYONS comments@cityweekly.net @kelan_lyons

“Money talks, and putting money into any program makes those programs prioritized,” Utah Pride Center’s Hillary McDaniel says.

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MAY 23, 2019 | 11

Task Force after lawmakers gutted a bill that would have banned the practice of conversion therapy on minors. “It is imperative, as next steps, the governor and the Legislature make sure that they have strong LGBTQ voices in the room when they are making policies and decisions, and when they’re developing those things,” he says, explaining that diverse groups challenge each other to think differently, ultimately leading to better, more representative policy. Williams declined to be interviewed for this article. Ben Williams and Larsen each encourage lawmakers to pass bills that better protect LGBTQ Utahns. “I’d really like to see more statewide nondiscrimination,” Williams says, “where there isn’t such a strong religion clause in there that if it goes against your religion, you can still not bake a cake, or something silly.” Larsen, meanwhile, says legislators must set an example for Utahns to follow, and prohibit therapists from practicing conversion therapy on minors. “I think they’ve got to be the ones who act first,” she says. “And I know in Utah that’s hard, with the religious climate that they’re working from, but I think that’s what’s important about leadership, that we do the right thing.” McDaniel urges that state officials start gathering data on the gender identities and sexual orientations of people who complete and attempt suicide, so they can better understand the scale of this epidemic as it relates to the LGBTQ community. The world McDaniel envisions is one where LGBTQ community members are accepted by all people. “When that starts to happen more, the policy changes and funding that needs to happen to help our community will just naturally get higher, and may get less necessary,” she says. “Rather than pushing for more money, I’d really just like to start pushing for less suicidal attempts and suicidal ideation in our community.” CW

to the conservative elements of the state,” he explains. “In the past, they kind of just allocated money just for suicide youth, and they never really kind of made that connection that LGBT kids have a higher [rate] of suicide than kids who are not LGBT.” It says a lot that the most powerful elected official in Utah awarded this money to support LGBTQ communities, Hillary McDaniel, the Pride Center’s festival director, underscores. “Money talks, and putting money into any program makes those programs prioritized,” she says. “I think that on the Hill there’s a lot of fighting over funding and where it does and doesn’t get to go. But the governor using money for this issue, he’s trying to send a message this is a priority for him.” According to Lee, the move sends a parallel message that “there are different needs of this particular demographic and population that are maybe not being met already.” For some in the community, grants aren’t enough to create a systemic metamorphosis. “I think it’s just throwing out money to something that in the long term will make them look good. I’m just sick of that dynamic. I want real-ass change,” Mariella Mendoza, a housing and climate justice advocate and LGBTQ organizer, says. “I think Utah is becoming this place that’s trying not to look fucked up.” Asked what state lawmakers and the governor could do to better support LGBTQ communities, Mendoza says, “give a shit,” recognize the intersectionality of issues like housing and climate justice and mental health, and help open more support centers like the Pride Center. “There aren’t enough resources here in Salt Lake City for us to survive, for us to make it out alive,” Mendoza says. “Most of my friends, I’m telling you, have already moved away.” Moolman is grateful for the money, but he’s a bit apprehensive because Equality Utah Director Troy Williams quit the governor’s Suicide Prevention

communities together, to best support queer youth. “I think for a lot of youth and families, we’re the first stepping stone to coming out,” Larsen says. “Encircle tries to be very culturally competent, and meeting these families where they are, and in our conservative community sometimes it’s a very scary step for both parents and youth. We try to help them work through that process.” This is the first grant funding Encircle has received from the governor’s office, Larsen says. “That money will go directly to therapy costs,” she says, adding that, since they started providing services, Encircle’s specialists have, on average, taken two young people experiencing suicidal ideations to the hospital every month. “I think that’s one thing we’re able to provide, a safety net to help kids when they’re in distress.” Utah Pride Center’s grant will go toward a slew of existing programming, according to Jimmy Lee, the organization’s youth and family programs manager. Among other things, the windfall will allow the center to run its life skills and support groups on a more sustainable basis; help them stage events like Queer Prom; and pay for therapists who provide treatment to families and individuals. “That $30,000 is going to go a long way for us as an agency,” Lee says. “We’re pretty good at taking just a dollar and making it go as far as it can. So this 30 grand really means a lot to us, and is something we are so appreciative of. We know that we can take it really, really far.” The Pride Center’s executive director, Rob Moolman, says his organization has received grants from state agencies in the past, but the notable amount makes the governor’s recent award “relatively rare … This is a significant grant, and gift, to the center.” The awards are quite a shift, informal historian Ben Williams says. “For years, the state has basically kind of ignored the gay community and pandered more

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arlier this month, Gov. Gary Herbert’s office announced that his Suicide Prevention Fund had awarded $247,500 in grants to myriad organizations working statewide to prevent suicides. The groups that received the money serve a diverse swath of Utahns, including veterans, Native Americans and those struggling with opioid addiction. But two mental health service providers stood out because of their work with families and individuals who identify as LGBTQ—groups that historically haven’t always felt welcome or been allowed to thrive in the Beehive State. “It is crucial that LGBTQ+ Utahns feel loved and accepted for who they are. Investing in this community is a top priority for us as we look to increase mental health support across the state,” Herbert said in a statement to City Weekly. “I am hopeful that this year’s grants from the suicide prevention fund will be instrumental in helping Encircle and The Pride Center provide lifesaving support and increased resources to our LGBTQ+ community.” The Utah Pride Center and Encircle each received $30,000 to expand their mental health services. The funding comes from Intermountain Health Care, individual tax-form donations, a match program approved by lawmakers in their 2019 legislative session and, surprisingly, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. “I think that things are changing in our state,” Stephenie Larsen, Encircle’s CEO, says, “and we are better understanding how important everyone in the community is, and diversity should be celebrated.” Larsen, who herself is a member of the LDS church, opened a house for LGBTQ youth in Provo in 2017, and one in Salt Lake City last February. The group’s mission is to bring families and

ENRIQUE LIMÓN

Loud, Proud & Funded

12 | MAY 23, 2019

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By David Riedel | comments@cityweekly.net | e’re nearly halfway through 2019 and I’ve already had enough guns, explosions, spacecraft, old Captain Americas and fat Thors to last a lifetime, let alone a summer. And the only blockbuster I’ve seen this year is Avengers: Endgame.

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desire to fit in, FOMO, best friends, best friends fighting, awkward parents, awkward sex talk, a secret serial killer, a kid who tries to buy friends, a weird drug trip, and best of all—there is not one gay joke, race joke, you’re-poor joke, nothing … Hang on a second. I just got pinged for a fare ... OMG IT’S OLIVIA WILDE. BE COOL SHE’S TOTALLY GETTING IN MY LYFT. (Not really; I spoke with her on the phone last week.) “[Those types of derogatory jokes are] something I thought a lot about,” Wilde said. “I thought, ‘We don’t have to be cruel to be funny.’ It’s a real problem when movies perpetuate that behavior and language and it’s damaging. Cruelty isn’t necessary for comedy.” She added, “We’re telling a story where there’s no villain. My take is that when we grow older, we realize all the assumptions we make when we’re young—everyone is much more complex and nuanced. The idea was that where you’re expecting a villain you won’t find one.” It’s like someone (namely writers Susanna Fogel, Emily Halpern, Sarah Haskins, Katie Silberman and director Wilde) took all the good bits from the best high school films, tossed out the crud, and then upped the game another 100%. The characters in Booksmart feel authentic. Leads Kaitlyn Dever (Amy) and Beanie Feldstein

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in 21 previous films. The screenwriters and the Flying Russo Brothers even pulled a super-duh moment during what should have been a slam dunk: Remember when most of the surviving Marvel universe women came together near the end to … come together near the end and then do fuck-all? What a wasted opportunity! It was an exciting gathering for a moment, at least. Anyspray, movies like that are why I’m rewarding myself with an indie summer. I’ve had so much fun watching documentaries and microbudget features for the last five months that I’ve decided to focus on the artsy-fartsy and namby-pamby stuff. (You should know, of course, that if you think independent cinema is, by nature, artsy-fartsy and namby-pamby, you’re a terrible person and I hope you fall asleep in the sun and someone draws a sunscreen dick on your forehead.)

So let’s take a little tour of this summer’s upcoming indie flicks. I’ll be your Lyft driver—you know, the kind who won’t shut up—and you’ll be my passenger on our trip down Indie Lane. Don’t fret; we’ll make some stops on Blockbuster Highway, though there’s likely nothing on it you haven’t seen before. (Here’s the great thing about the Indie Lyft: It’s widely available on movies’ opening days and your driver has studied his routes.) Remember to keep your hands, arms and sunscreen dicks inside the car, and take heed: All release dates—especially concerning indies—are subject to change. Our first stop on Indie Lane is Olivia Wilde’s feature-directing debut Booksmart. And what better way to begin the summer movie season than with a high school graduation flick? I mean, I love high school flicks! Most of them, anyway. I came of age during the so-called golden era when John Hughes was firing on all thrusters and no one realized he was a Republican, a racist and a homophobe. (“Racist” and “homophobe” seem redundant next to “Republican” in 2019, don’t they?) I’ve wanted a truly great high school flick for ages, and now we have it. (Read this next bit in your best Stefon voice.) Booksmart has everything: Teen angst, the

“But Dave,” you say, “isn’t your job as a movie critic to see as many movies as you possibly can? To serve the public trust?” Nominally, yes. But I have news for you, public: The big-swingin’-dick blockbusters such as the aforementioned Endgame are critic-proof, so who cares whether I see them? The only way for blockbusters these days to bomb is if they’re so bad audiences actually stay away in droves, as if they’re being paid to skip a movie instead of watch it (see: the D.C. universe movies except for Wonder Woman). But because we’re keeping score, Avengers: Endgame was fine, I guess, for two hours until the final 62 minutes of battle scenes made me long for a kabob skewer to the eyes. Ugh. Watching strong people get slammed into rubble is really dull (see also: Man of Steel), especially when it’s been done

@daveseesmovies

Get ready for thrills, spills and sunburned phalluses this summer movie season.

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LET’S ALL GO TO THE (INDIE) CINEMA!

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14 | MAY 23, 2019

Aladdin

WALT DISNEY STUDIOS

UNITED ARTISTS RELEASING

Booksmart

A24 FILMS

(Molly) carry the shit out of this picture. To make their relationship on screen feel as lived in as two kids who have known each other their entire lives—kids who know literally everything about each other—Wilde had Dever and Feldstein live together during pre-production and production. “It was essential to create a chemistry that felt as though it had depth and history. We wanted a story about a friendship developed over years,” Wilde noted. “[Dever and Feldstein] happened to love each other from the moment they met so that helps. [Screenwriter] Katie Silberman focused on creating the texture of the friendship and we worked with Beanie and Kaitlyn on it.” It’s not just the leads that stand out. Each character, no matter how small, has a backstory that feels real, not like tacked-on bologna. The supporting cast is every bit as vital as Dever and Feldstein. If it reads like I’m gushing, I am. Booksmart is smart, funny, empathetic, charming, compassionate, a total winner. Don’t miss it when it opens May 24 (see review on p. 43). Over on the Blockbuster Highway, also opening May 24, you’ll find the live-action Aladdin. You know, the one with falling star Will Smith as the genie and, if the trailer is to be believed, the greatest hits from the animated version. What I don’t understand is how (and why) it’s about 38 minutes longer than its cartoon predecessor. Opening the same weekend is Brightburn, a sort-of superhero movie with a twist: What if a kid crash landed on Earth, Superman-style, but he turned out to be evil? The trailer is kinda creepy, and star Elizabeth Banks makes anything better than it should be. (See: People Like Us, Man on a Ledge) If you missed the excellent 2016 documentary De Palma, you really missed out, because it’s the one good movie Brian De Palma’s been involved with since roughly 1993, when he gave us the underappreciated Carlito’s Way. But opening May 31, there’s Domino, starring Jaime Lannister as a cop searching for the person who killed his partner. De Palma has already more or less disowned this flick (shocker?) but one thing De Palma doesn’t do is make boring movies, even when they’re bad (see: Dressed to Kill, Raising Cain). Maybe instead of a brooding cop drama, you’d prefer giant lizards and whatever-thehell-else beating the shit out of each other while they destroy large CG-rendered metropolitan cities. Take a gander at Godzilla: King of the Monsters. Or don’t. (Eff kaijū movies). Instead maybe see Ma, in which the always-wonderful Octavia Spencer plays a total psycho in the guise of the cool older woman with a secret teen drinking club. Rocketman, an Elton John biopic, also opens, but if Bohemian Rhapsody taught me anything, it’s that music biopics should take a powder. The highly anticipated The Last Black Man in San Francisco opens June 7. At Sundance, it won Best Director and a Special Jury Award. And while I’ll always be suspect of Sundance because it validated The Brother McMullen, TLBMISF looks like something special. Jimmie Fails stars as himself (he’s also a co-writer), and the story chronicles the changes in a city, and what happens to the people who live there. If the buzz (and I hate that word) is true, this movie is something special. Late Night likewise premiered at Sundance, and like TLBMISF, it was a big deal. The

FOCUS FEATURES

The Dead Don’t Die

The Last Black Man in San Francisco

final product will have to be better than the trailer, though, as leads Emma Thompson and Mindy Kaling, as the host of a failing late night talk show and its first female writer, respectively, don’t get the laughs—those belong to Denis O’Hare and the erstwhile Vinnie Delpino. That’s hardly Kaling’s or Thompson’s fault, just the people who cut trailers. For a little adult action, there’s This One’s for the Ladies, the NC-17 documentary cousin of Magic Mike (it looks like a hoot), and over on Blockbuster Highway, they’ve removed Louis C.K. and replaced him with Patton Oswalt in The Secret Life of Pets 2. And just to prove there’s nothing 20th Century Fox won’t do to hold on to a franchise, there’s the latest X-Men flick, Dark Phoenix, in which we, much too late in the X-Men franchise, get a story fully devoted to Jean Grey (Sophie Turner, not Famke Janssen). This movie originally wrapped in October 2017 and has been stuck in re-shoot hell, for what it’s worth. Let’s start June 14 on Blockbuster Highway. I’m mildly excited for Men in Black: International, if only because leads Tessa Thompson and Chris Hemsworth (aka “Early Man”) worked so well together in Thor: Ragnarok. Sure, they did squat as a duo in Avengers: Endgame, but how could anyone possibly squeeze more story into that 182 minutes? Maybe by cutting battle scenes? What does a humble Lyft driver know? On Indie Lane the big brouhaha has to be The Dead Don’t Die, a zombie flick written and directed by Jim Jarmusch. Normally, I avoid zombie flicks with the same zeal I avoid zombies, but Jarmusch made vampires relevant again with Only Lovers Left Alive and followed it with the touching and funny ode to poetry Paterson. This guy can do anything. And for those of you who speak German, there’s a sort-of romantic comedy called In the Aisles, about two co-workers at one of those faceless box stores who start a romance. Looks goofy in a good way. (Germans are known for comedy. And genocide.) On June 21, there’s a cornucopia of big releases: Anna is writer-director Luc Besson’s latest probably-weird fetish pic about a young woman (see also: Lucy, The Professional, The Messenger, La Femme Nikita, the Taken series, and his personal relationship with Maïwenn). There’s the Child’s Play remake, which frankly looks creepy as hell. (Creepier still: Aubrey Plaza playing it straight in a horror movie.) And there’s the movie that will kill everything else at the box office: Toy Story 4. (This piece might be the only time you see “kill” and “Toy Story” in the same sentence, by the way.) On Indie Lane, there’s Wild Rose, the story of a Glaswegian ex-con who moves to the U.S. to become a country singer (I swear I’m not making that up), and Them That Follow, a religious thriller starring Kaitlyn Dever from Booksmart. Normally I wouldn’t recommend a movie from The Conjuring universe, especially after The Nun (barf). But Annabelle: Creation more than made up for the snot trail that was Annabelle, and I kinda like Vera Farmiga and Patrick Wilson as the Warrens, so I’m all in for Annabelle Comes Home. (No one has ever addressed just why Annabelle the doll was designed to look like Satan’s favorite minion, so I’ll borrow a favorite phrase of my uncle’s: Because it’s in the script.) Expect jump scares and hopefully real scares on June 28. Back on Indie Lane you’ll find Maiden, a captivating-looking doc about Tracy Edwards, who led the first all-women team in the Whitbread Round the World race (it’s now called the much more self-explanatory “The Ocean Race”); Ophelia, with Daisy Ridley (from

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Crawl

IFC FILMS

Ophelia

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MAY 23, 2019 | 15

zoos. And also, I did look it up; the movie features an alligator. What a waste of word count, Dave.) There’s also 21 Bridges, starring Chadwick Boseman in a non-Black Panther nonbiopic role. Here he’s a cop who tracks cop killers and shuts down Manhattan’s 21 bridges (and the tunnels and trains, too) to catch a couple guys who murder eight police officers. (I lived in Manhattan for a dozen years and I have no idea whether there are actually 21 bridges off the island.) Boseman’s big plan: “We flood the island with blue.” But it sounds like he says “blow” which makes me wish this were a movie about cocaine. On July 19, the only thing opening is Jon Favreau’s “live action” (I use quotes because can it reeeeeeeally be live action?) remake of The Lion King. SNORE. The cynic in me just fell asleep. WHY WHY WHY the live action remakes?!! I mean, I know they make money, but don’t you movie executives have souls, or an original idea that has a chance to make money so the market isn’t poisoned with this half-baked shit? (I haven’t seen it; maybe it’s great. But it probably stinks like a hyena’s ass! I’ll stop now.) On July 26, we get the sequel we never asked for to a movie no one liked. That’s right! It’s Brahms: The Boy II. Yeah, you don’t care. But maybe you do care about Quentin Tarantino gracing us with his ninth film. Rant alert! (I really hate that marketing line that’s been with us since his fourth film, Kill Bill. NO ONE GIVES A SHIT WHICH FILM IT IS. THEY JUST WANT TARANTINO TO STOP BEING SO PRECIOUS, FINALLY GET OFF HIS ASS, AND FINISH A FUCKING MOVIE.) Ugh. Once Upon a Time in Hollywood resembles a comedy, with Brad Pitt and Leonardo DiCaprio starring. However, Margot Robbie plays Sharon Tate, and if you know who Sharon Tate is, I can’t imagine what’s funny about her role. But hey, Tarantino is the same guy who indulged a child’s fantasy to go back in time and shoot Hitler in the face, so maybe Robbie turns the tables on the Manson family and makes them eat their own entrails or something. That leads us to August and the dregs of the film summer. That is, August used to feature the dregs until Marvel and Disney decided to totally screw with traditional releasing schedules (I’ve griped about that before and will therefore refrain.) On Aug. 2, Blockbuster Highway dead-ends at Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw (HA, SEE WHAT I DID THERE). I watched five of the eight Fast & Furious films, enjoyed two of them, and I couldn’t tell you who Hobbs & Shaw are, though I know I’ve seen the movies they’re in. All I know is the ampersand suggests they’re a team. Whoop-dee-freakin’-doo! God, I wish I was drunk. I’ll be driving my beater 2006 Honda Civic for the rest of this ride, but don’t worry: the cleaning surcharge was put to good use. Totally got the blood stains out after that kebab skewer incident I mentioned earlier. So let’s stop on Indie Lane to take in Luce, starring Tim Roth and Naomi Watts in a non-Funny Games sequel. Here, they adopt a young boy from a war-torn African country and he matures into a dream kid, excellent student, nice guy, nearly universally adored. Except for that one teacher. (There’s always one, right? I’m looking at you, Mrs. Bergendahl) This Sundance favorite has been described as a drama that plays like a thriller. I don’t know what that means, but it sounds good, and Watts, Roth and Kelvin Harrison Jr. have been praised for their performances.

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A24 FILMS

some sci-fi series I can’t remember the name of), reimagines Hamlet from Ophelia’s point of view, which I would imagine is a short movie because she offs herself in Act IV (spoiler!); and Danny Boyle’s Yesterday, about a world in which one struggling singersongwriter remembers Beatles songs but no one else does. I WONDER HOW IT PLAYS OUT? It was written by Richard Curtis (Four Weddings and a Funeral, Love Actually), so expect maximum sentimentality to go along with the sex jokes. Wisely, most studios aren’t touching July 2 with a 10-meter cattle prod, because that’s the day Spider-Man: Far from Home hits just about every screen across the country. Because I’m divulging Endgame spoilers, let it be known that Peter Parker (Tom Holland) was snapped back into existence by the Hulk (Mark Ruffalo) and will probably spend part of Far from Home mourning Tony Stark (Robert Downey, Jr.). Will this new Spider-Man be good? I don’t know. As much as I liked the first Tom Holland Spider-Man flick, I’m a little burned out on Marvel. Here’s hoping for more Aunt May (Marisa Tomei). So if spiders and bad guys ain’t your bag, Midsommar parks itself on Indie Lane July 3. Its producer, A24 Films, fears nothing, not even the fact that its big summer release strongly resembles Robin Hardy’s The Wicker Man (totes intentional). That said, Midsommar is Ari Aster’s follow-up to Hereditary, the best three-quarters (ugh, that final 20 minutes) of a horror movie I’ve seen since The Witch. And horror movies that appear to take place almost entirely in the daylight, as Midsommar does, must be pretty confident in their abilities to scare the piss out of you. As I work for Lyft (not really; it’s a half-clever conceit I’m beating to death), I’m hesitant to write about Stuber, opening July 12, a buddy movie in which cop Dave Bautista recruits his Uber driver (Kumail Nanjiani) for some reason, probably something that isn’t contrived in the slightest. Maybe it’s like Collateral, the Tom Cruise-Jamie Foxx crapfest in which hitman Cruise recruits cab driver Foxx to drive him to all his kills—but funny. Except Collateral was pretty funny, albeit unintentionally. Anyway, I’m willing to give Stuber a look because Bautista has shown some comedy chops in the Guardians of the Galaxy series. Also, he has big arms and I don’t want to piss him off. Not that Jesse Eisenberg’s particular nebbish qualities haven’t been put to good use before (see: To Rome with Love, The Squid and the Whale, and everything else he stars in), but The Art of Self-Defense seems to get right to the guts of it, as Eisenberg’s character Casey describes himself as being “afraid of the dark, afraid of other men.” So that’s why he signs up for karate classes and apparently discovers a whole seedy underbelly of Fight Club-type violence (I’m guessing without David Fincher’s humorless sledgehammer approach). Looks fun, with some dry gags. We need more dry movie gags. Also on Indie Lane you’ll find The Farewell, starring Awkwafina in her first dramatic role, as an American woman traveling to China to visit her dying grandmother … only her grandmother doesn’t know she’s dying and her family doesn’t want to tell her. The Farewell was a big deal at Sundance and Awkwafina’s performance has been widely acclaimed. Rounding out July 12 on Blockbuster Highway is Crawl, a movie about bad weather and a big alligator. Or maybe it’s a crocodile. Who gives a shit? It chomps people. (Actually, we should give a shit, because crocodiles generally don’t reside in the United States, except in

COLUMBIA PICTURES

Once Upon a Time In Hollywood

The Farewell

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16 | MAY 23, 2019

CBS FILMS

Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark

IFC FILMS

The Nightingale

The last release of Aug. 2 is The Nightingale, Jennifer Kent’s follow-up to The Babadook. A critic friend saw The Nightingale, and parents … know that something bad (bad, bad, bad) happens to a child in this movie. It’s kind of the film’s catalyst. And if that isn’t warning enough, the poster features a woman’s bloody face. So, just a guess, The Nightingale isn’t for everyone. But Jennifer Kent knows how to make movies, and The Nightingale has received a lot of good press. Who’s up for a horror anthology? No one? What if it was co-written by Guillermo del Toro, who inexplicably won a bunch of awards for The Shape of Water? And did you forget about Mimic? Whatever. On Aug. 9, Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark arrives from del Toro, a bunch of other writers, and director André Øvredal. The movie is based on Alan Schwart’s books, and—no kidding—they’re children’s stories. The books, I mean. The movie looks like it’s for no one. Perhaps more for the kids than the scary stories is the live action Dora the Explorer movie Dora and the Lost City of Gold. She probably doesn’t ask the audience questions like on the animated show. But this is a kids’ movie. And who can control a 6-year-old at a Saturday morning screening? All I know about The Kitchen is that it has a heavy-duty cast (Elisabeth Moss, Tiffany Haddish, Domhnall Gleeson, and Melissa McCarthy), it takes place in the 1970s, and the women in it take over their husbands’ illegal businesses when they get sent to the slammer. It’s based on the book (or would you call it a graphic novel?) by Ollie Masters and written and directed by Andrea Berloff. I’d see a movie with this cast even if gangster pictures in this day and age leave me cold. Also on Aug. 9, there’s Brian Banks, the Greg Kinnear-starring story about Banks. Worth noting: Kinnear does not play Brian Banks. Aldis Hodge does. Yet Greg Kinnear is the star. Huh. This based-on-a-true story follows high school football star Banks as he’s wrongfully convicted of a crime, has his conviction overturned, and then seeks to resume his football career. And did I mention it stars Greg Kinnear but it’s about Brian Banks? And it’s directed by Ace Ventura: Pet Detective and Bruce Almighty genius Tom Shadyac. Sign me up! Just kidding. Draw and quarter me. Frankly, I feel like skipping the rest of August and getting to the local stuff, but on Aug. 16, there’s Schoolboys, from the guys who brought you Sausage Party (what’s my limit on using “ugh” during this thing?). The Lyft will not stop at Blockbuster Highway for this one. In The Informer, still-trying-to-become-a-movie-star Joel Kinnaman plays an ex-con who goes back to prison to infiltrate the mafia. My two favorites genres, mafia movies and prison movies, are combined into one! Yippee! Wait, those are my least favorite two genres. Your Lyft ain’t stoppin’ here, either. I have hope that Richard Linklater’s Where’d You Go Bernadette will be worth watching. It stars Cate Blanchett as Bernadette, and Linklater’s last film, the underappreciated Last Flag Flying, features all-time performances from Steve Carell and Laurence Fishburne. Linklater even restrained consummate overactor Bryan Cranston. In Bernadette, Bernadette disappears (it’s all there in the title!) and her daughter Bee goes after her. To borrow a phrase from All the President’s Men, Bee uncovers a rat’s nest of shit. It’s a comedy, by the way. Rounding out Aug. 16 is two documentaries. Cold Case Hammarskjöld follows filmmaker Mads Brügger as he investigates the death of UN Secretary General Dag Hammarskjöld.

HBO

Paradise Lost ...

ANNAPURNA PICTURES

Where’d You Go, Bernadette

This premiered at Sundance. The other documentary is Aquarela. It’s about water. No, really! I’d make jokes, but the trailer reminds me of Koyaanisqatsi if Koyaanisqatsi featured water as its main series of images. Aquarela also features a loud score by Apocalyptica. Emphasis on loud. It wouldn’t be August without a bad Gerard Butler movie, and even though it’s unfair to assume Angel Has Fallen will be bad … it features Gerard Butler. That guy just doesn’t make good movies. And yes, it’s a sequel to his two other Fallen flicks—Olympus Has Fallen and My Arches Have Fallen. I really hope Morgan Freeman was paid a lot of money for this thing. It opens on the recently renamed Dregs of the Blockbuster Highway on Aug. 23. Also opening that weekend are Overcomer, a faith-based sports movie by the Kendrick brothers, and Fiddler: A Miracle of Miracles, a documentary about the origins of Fiddler on the Roof. Totally. Waiting. In. Line. In. The. Hot. Sun. For. Those. Locally, it’s a whole different story. The Salt Lake Film Society presents its fourth “Greatest” series beginning Friday, May 31. This year’s focus is documentaries, and not just any documentaries—no Sleep by Andy Warhol here! These are life-changing documentaries. Take Paradise Lost: The Child Murders at Robin Hood Hills, which screens during the series’ second week. It’s the first of three films directors Joe Berlinger and Bruce Sinofsky made about Jessie Misskelley, Damien Echols, and Jason Baldwin, the so-called West Memphis Three, teens who were accused and convicted of killing three young boys in West Memphis, Ark. The case fascinated the country—“Satanic panic” was all over the news in the late 1980s and early 1990s when the murders occurred, and Misskelley, Echols and Baldwin fit the profile of the kinds of young men who would worship Satan and kill children: they listened to Metallica and wore black. For Tori A. Baker, the Salt Lake Film Society President & CEO, Paradise Lost was lifechanging. “I saw it at Sundance at its premiere,” Baker says in a phone interview. “I’m not a true-crime person, generally, but this was long before anyone was thinking about these concepts in telling crime stories: Where does poverty come into play? And the music angle? That’s one of the things I thought was fascinating about it.” Paradise Lost was certainly life-changing for the West Memphis Three. My incredibly reductive description of it aside, it changed the lives of Misskelley, Echols and Baldwin. They were freed from prison, Echols from death row, in 2011 by taking an Alford plea when it seemed a retrial was imminent. The other documentaries are life changers in other ways (not that it matters to you, but when I saw How to Survive a Plague, I re-dedicated myself to fighting for LGBTQ rights after several too-complacent years on the sidelines). Which of the films in the program changed your life? And which film that’s new to you will you see with the hope of changing your worldview. It’s a lofty concept, but it’s exciting, and it’s a spectacular lineup. But alas, we’ve arrived at our final destination. I took my contacts out a few miles back (there was a cat hair or something on one of them), and I’m not entirely sure whether we’re still on Indie Lane or whether we drove across the median and onto Blockbuster Highway. So hear me, dear moviegoers: Your humble Lyft driver has taken you partway on your journey; the final choices are yours. But please, I implore you, view the correct movies this summer. Remember, I have your phone number, I know where you live and I have a lifetime’s supply of sunscreen (you know, to draw a dick on your forehead). Kisses! CW

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Monday Night Movies Friday Night Flicks’ sort-of cousin, also returns. At the Gallivan Center starting Monday, July 1, and continuing through July 29, you’ll find Will Ferrell-themed movies. July 1: Anchorman July 8: Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby July 15: The Other Guys July 22: Blades of Glory July 29: Zoolander My one quibble with Monday Night Movies: No Casa de mi padre?! To make life simpler for you (and for me), the remainder of the local movie hot spots are listed alphabetically by town. Forgive me if I left your burg out, but some towns don’t have final lists yet.

Magna Music & Movies at Pleasant Green Park. Events begin at 8 p.m., movies begin at sundown. June 14: Music: The Blushing Violets; Movie: Aquaman June 21: Music: Marusso; Movie: Bumblebee June 28: Music: Deep Red Dirt Band; Movie: Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation July 5: Music: TBD (I hear they’re great); Movie: Captain Marvel July 12: Music: Robyn Cage; Movie: The Incredibles 2 July 19: Music: The Back Yard Revival; Movie: Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald July 26: Music: Michelle Moonshine; Movie: Avengers: Infinity War Aug. 2: Music: WEY; Movie: The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part Aug. 9: Music: Act of Denial; Movie: How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World Aug. 16: Music: Nathan Spencer Review; Movie: TBD (Just as good as the band) Ogden Monday Night Movies at the Ogden Amphitheater; bring your own food or get snacks at

SLC.GOV

Riverton Movies in the Park & Food Truck Frenzy Bring blankets. Beginning at 6 p.m. there will be food truck and market vendors. June 8: Despicable Me 3 (Note: This movie plays at Intermountain Riverton Hospital, all other movies will be shown at Riverton City Park) July 3: Leap! July 13: Coco July 20: Sleepless in Seattle July 27: Wonder Aug. 3: The Princess and the Frog Aug. 10: Descendants 2 Aug. 17: Remember the Titans Aug. 24: A Wrinkle in Time Sandy Summer of Movies. Entry is free at dusk; popcorn, candy and drinks will be for sale. June 14: Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (River Oaks Golf Course)

St. George’s “Sunset on the Square” Bring a blanket and food, leave the booze at home. Check the town website for start times. May 24: Field of Dreams June 14: Ralph Breaks the Internet June 28: Bernie the Dolphin (not to be confused with Bernie the Socialist) July 12: Sgt. Stubby: An American Hero July 26: How to Train Your Dragon: the Hidden World Aug. 9: Footloose (the Kevin Bacon version) Aug. 23: The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part Springville Free Family Movies at Spring Acres Park, admission is free, gates open at 7 p.m. Movies start around dusk. Seating is general admission, bring your own blankets and folding chairs. There will be food trucks! June 3: Ralph Breaks the Internet June 17: A Dog’s Way Home June 24: Wonder July 1: The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part July 8: Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse July 15: How To Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World Vernal This is a hike, but maybe you’ll find yourself in Vernal on a Friday night? Movies screen outdoors at the Uintah Community Center starting at dusk. June 7: Mary Poppins June 21: The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part July 12: How to Train Your Dragon II July 26: The Incredibles 2 Aug. 9: Captain Marvel Snowbird Family movies, free, outdoors at the Snowbird Center plaza deck. Seating is provided, but you can bring lawn chairs, too. Movies begin at dusk. The Birdfeeder will sell popcorn and other goodies. June 21: Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure July 5: The NeverEnding Story (Spoiler: It ends) July 12: Up July 19: How to Train Your Dragon July 26: Angels in the Outfield Aug. 2: Grease Aug. 9: The Goonies Till next year, friends!

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June 7: Wreck It Ralph (Liberty Park) June 14: Big Hero 6 (Lindsey Gardens) June 21: The Astronaut Farmer (Jordan Park June 28: Evan Almighty (Reservoir Park) June 29: World War Z (Liberty Park) July 5: Apollo 13 (Riverside Park) July 12: Lego Batman Movie (Fairmont Park) July 19: Twister (Wasatch Hollow)

Park City International Summer Film Series June Films begin at 6:30 p.m. on Tuesdays at the Jim Santy Auditorium, 1255 Park Ave., Park City; admission and popcorn are free, all the films are presented in English. Country of origin appears after the title. June 18: Selena June 25: Mary and the Witch’s Flower Japan July 2: The Fox and the Child – France July 9: Capture the Flag – Spain/USA July 16: Bend it Like Beckham – UK/ Germany/U.S. July 23: March of the Penguins – France July 30: Castle in the Sky – Japan Aug. 6: He Named Me Malala – U.S./United Arab Emirates Aug. 13: Children’s Film Festival Seattle Shorts Program No. 1: Through the Rainbow –International

June 21: Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (Flat Iron Park) June 28: Megamind (Wildflower Park) July 12: Hocus Pocus – Halloween in July (High Point Park) July 19: Moana (Alta Canyon Pool – Splash & Bash) July 26: Mary Poppins Returns (Bell Canyon Park)

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Friday Night Flicks

Layton Movies play at the Kenley Amphitheater and begin at 7:30 p.m. There are some pre-movie activities beginning at 6:30 p.m. which are noted along with the film. Bring your own food. Leave the alcohol at home. June 7: The Muppet Movie; coloring pages June 14: 101 Dalmatians (the one with Glenn Close); face painting June 21: Over the Hedge; outdoor games June 28: The Goofy Movie; a goofy photo booth July 5: The Secret Life of Walter Mitty July 12: The Greatest Showman; carnival games July 19: Tangled; pictures with Rapunzel and Flynn July 26: A Night at the Museum; tours of the Leyton Heritage Museum Aug. 2: The Emperor’s New Groove; a llama party Aug. 9: Matilda; free kids’ books for children under 12 Aug. 23: You’ve Got Mail Aug. 30: Guardians of the Galaxy

the Backstage Bistro. Movies begin at 7:30 p.m. June 10: Guardians of the Galaxy and Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 June 17: Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse June 24: How to Train Your Dragon: the Hidden World July 1: Jurassic Park at the Ogden Eccles Dinosaur Park July 8: Shrek and Shrek 2 (both in Spanish) July 15: Maverick July 22: Crazy Rich Asians and Dirty Dancing July 29: Hearts Beat Loud and To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar Aug. 5: Ralph Breaks the Internet Aug. 12: Remember the Titans Aug. 19: Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

Draper Movies screen at the Draper City Amphitheater beginning outdoors at dusk June 21: Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation July 18: Ralph Breaks the Internet

he ride ain’t over. Let’s talk movies as an outing. As you know from reading the last several summer previews (or from living in the Salt Lake area), there are beaucoup family film programs to choose from each week. For example, Friday Night Flicks returns to different SLC parks. This year’s theme: “Build it Up, Tear it Down.” It’s free, the screens are inflatable (ooh!), and you can show up any time after 7:30 p.m. to secure a spot. There will be food from the Food Truck League and movies begin around 9 p.m. Here’s what’s playing and where you can watch it:

Friday Night Flicks at Liberty-Park

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BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE!

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18 | MAY 23, 2019

Beatles animator Ron Campbell In the mid-1960s, at the height of Beatlemania, anything having to do with the Fab Four was bound to be an instant sensation. One manifestation of that unrelenting obsession was a Saturday morning cartoon series that featured the cuddly combo. Never mind the fact that John, Paul, George and Ringo had nothing to do with it—other than the fact that their music was the essential element. Indeed, when Australian animator Ron Campbell (whose credits included Popeye, The Smurfs, Winnie the Pooh, The Flintstones, The Jetsons and Yogi Bear) was tapped to direct it, he didn’t even know who the group was. “I asked the name of the show and he [the producer] said The Beatles,” Campbell recalls via email. “I replied, ‘The Beetles? Insects make terrible characters for children’s cartoons.’” Fortunately, by the time he was chosen to oversee the band’s animated film Yellow Submarine, he was far more familiar with his subjects. Although he never met the group, he still considers it an essential part of their legacy. “Yellow Submarine perfectly captures the feel of the late ’60s,” he suggests. “If you were alive back then, it brings you right back to that time. And if you weren’t, it gives you a sense of what it was like. ‘Yellow Submarine’ will be enjoyed by people for generations to come.” Campbell brings his memories and memorabilia with him when he makes a rare personal appearance over Memorial Day weekend. He’ll have original art for sale, making it a draw for collectors, cultists and devotees. (Lee Zimmerman) Ron Campbell @ Relics Framemakers & Gallery, 4685 S. Holladay Blvd., May 23-24, 4 p.m.–8 p.m.; May 25, noon–6 p.m.; May 27, noon-4 p.m., free, relicsgallery.com

Complete listings online at cityweekly.net

DAT NGUYEN

SUZANNE DEAN

RON CAMPBELL

THURSDAY 5/23

ENTERTAINMENT PICKS, MAY 23-29, 2019

EVAN ZIMMERMAN-MURPHY

ESSENTIALS

the

FRIDAY 5/24

SATURDAY 5/25

TUESDAY 5/28

What better way to kick off your summer than with a parade, fireworks and eating some good old-fashioned aebelskivers and köttbullar at the annual Scandinavian Heritage Festival? The two-day festival celebrates the early Danish and other Nordic immigrants who settled the area. The roots of these immigrants remain deep in the area—Sanpete County and its neighbor Sevier have the second and fifth largest percentages of Danish-Americans in the United States. Those who make their way to Ephraim have the chance to experience these roots by watching people create traditional Nordic crafts, take a bus tour of landmarks and buildings from Ephraim’s pioneer days and watch actors re-create a glimpse into the pioneer lifestyle. And, of course, there will be plenty of food—traditional and modern—for visitors to snack on while taking it all in. The festival offers plenty of entertainment options for those who aren’t so interested in history. Guests can wander and look at historic and custom automobiles during the car show or stop by the main stage in front of Snow College’s Noyes Building to hear storytellers, musicians and an improv group perform. And, for the more athletic among us, there will be a 5K, 10K and a half marathon, a bike race, pickleball and tennis tournament. Entry into the festival and parking is free, though participation in some events will require a $5 or $10 fee. Festival organizers recommend attendees bring cash to ensure easy entry on the tours and races. (Kylee Ehmann) Scandinavian Festival @ 100 N. Center St., Ephraim, 435-283-4631, May 24, 9 a.m.-8:45 p.m. & May 25, 5:30 a.m.4 p.m., free, scandinavianfestival.org

What does queer identity have to do with belonging? Artists submitting entries to Queer Spectra Arts Festival were asked to answer that question with this year’s festival theme “BE/LONGING.” The curated result—a combination of gallery, timed performances, a keynote and workshops on LGBTQ arts topics—is open to audiences on May 25 at the Commonwealth Studios. Following a welcome, the 2D and 3D gallery open for the public, after which University of Utah MFA candidate Alex Barbier provides the event’s keynote. The time-based performances includes a variety of poetry, dance, film and music followed by Q&As and workshops. Representation and dialogue are central themes for the festival founded by dancers Dat Nguyen, Emma Sargent, Aileen Norris and comics enthusiast and writer Molly Barnewitz. “Talking about my own works—they are inherently queer, but I don’t know about it until I have to articulate with other people about my choices within the process,” Nguyen says. “The more conversations I have about my works, the more obvious it is that my works root from my identity as a queer person of color.” Norris adds, “I think that’s the beauty of this festival. We get to ask ourselves, our artists, and our audience these questions of personal identity as it relates to art.” The entrance to Commonwealth Studios is wheelchair accessible. Bathrooms will be gender neutral for this event. (Casey Koldewyn) Queer Spectra Arts Festival @ Commonwealth Studios, 150 W. Commonwealth Ave., Ste. 104, May 25, 1-10 p.m., $5-$10 suggested donation, queerspectra.com

Jack Black stole the show when he starred as a die-hard rocker turned substitute teacher in the 2003 film The School of Rock. The film’s success, however, was due in large part to his enthusiastic comedic performance. What would happen if you subtracted Black from the story, and built it around songs by Andrew Lloyd Webber, with a book by Downton Abbey creator Julian Fellowes? The Eccles Theater hosts the musical adaptation of School of Rock that follows the same story of Dewey Finn, who has been kicked out of his band for a stage dive gone wrong and is stuck bumming at his friend Ned’s house. When he answers a phone call offering a substitute teaching position for Ned, he jumps at the opportunity to earn some extra cash—even if it means impersonating Ned to land the job. On his first day teaching, Dewey overhears his students practicing during music class and decides to teach rock ’n’ roll rather than the standard middle-school curriculum, hoping to coach his students to victory in the upcoming Battle of the Bands competition. While the musical includes familiar tunes from the movie like Dewey’s arena-rock anthem “In the End of Time” and the climactic title song, most of the score consists of brand-new songs by Lloyd Webber and lyricist Glenn Slater, such as “You’re In the Band” and “Stick It to the Man.” The show earned four Tony Award nominations, and has become a popular touring favorite with its mix of anarchic comedy and high-energy rock ’n’ roll—so maybe it’s not all about Jack. (Colby Russo) Broadway at the Eccles: School of Rock @ Eccles Theater, 131 S. Main, May 28June 2, show times vary, $35-$125; broadway-at-the-eccles.com

Scandinavian Festival

Queer Spectra Arts Festival

School of Rock

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Two new art exhibitions explore the world of idyllic neighborhoods. BY COLETTE A. FINNEY comments@cityweekly.net @cooliedance13

rawling high along the foothills, developers appear to be taking over middleclass suburbia—along with every inch of dry land—while building generic neighborhoods akin to those in The Stepford Wives. With identical architecture and yards, these bland blocks are a far cry from the patchwork of styles of the last century. While eclectic neighborhoods bustling with activities and connections could be fading into a thing of the past, two new exhibits at the Utah Museum of Contemporary Art (UMOCA) offer a nostalgic and into the lives of Americans at a time when community meant something more than brick and mortar. Running concurrently, Andrew Dadson’s Roof Gap and Deanna and Ed Templeton’s

An image from Andrew Dadson’s Roof Gap

ED TEMPLETON

Adventures in Suburbia

Contemporary Suburbium explore the energy and social aspects of suburbia while testing visual boundaries through photographs and video. “These two new shows introduce the figure to the overall conversation about life in the suburbs,” Jared Steffensen, UMOCA curator, says. “Hopefully, people will question their notions of the suburbs, their place within them, and how they feel about and interact with the other families that inhabit them.” Dadson’s Roof Gap employs the concept of the derive (the drift), a Situationist International-based interaction with architecture that is typically enacted in urban centers. In this instance, the practice is explored in the suburbs. Projected on two large screens in the gallery, the double-synced video installation plays on a continuous loop. Using his own body to critique social norms and property rights with a space between them, Dadson jumps across the gap between the roofs of houses in a Vancouver suburb. Originally from Canada, contemporary artist Dadson explains via email: “I was interested in the ‘boundaries’ that separate one neighbor from the next and the connectedness one feels to a community that may or may not be there. Exaggerating this is the fact the houses are all identical, but somehow the gap between them might be bigger than the small gap I was able to jump.” In contrast, the Templetons have taken 71 photographs from their recently released book, Contemporary Suburbium, and will have them installed in opposite corners of the gallery. Documenting the diverse population, social aspects and endless blocks

ANDREW DADSON

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20 | MAY 23, 2019

A&E

VISUAL ART

of tract housing, visitors experience a world they might not have seen before. “The Templetons’ focus is on the people in the neighborhood of Huntington Beach where they live,” Steffensen says. “Their photos provide a well-rounded document of the suburbs with everything from innocent moments to acts of rebellion to representations of people with extreme belief systems.” Shown throughout the U.S., Europe and Asia, the Templetons’ photographs offer a glimpse of growing up in Southern California during the 1970s, as well as modern times and current encounters. Married for many years, both have long embraced street photography as their medium of choice while taking their individual experiences and exposing the ordinary in an extraordinary way. “We were born into this situation, and made the best of what we were dealt, thriving on the sidewalks and front yards and hidden from the influence of the city,” Ed Templeton says on UMOCA’s website.

An image from Deanna and Ed Templeton’s Contemporary Suburbium

While both exhibits display contrasting views on boundaries—the Templetons’ more structured neighborhood shots and Dadson’s testing the theory of established boundaries—the connecting thread is the balance of permission and intrusion in all shots. And despite stylistic differences, all three artists offer unique insight into what used to be considered an idyllic lifestyle and neighborhood. CW

ANDREW DADSON: ROOF GAP DEANNA & ED TEMPLETON: CONTEMPORARY SUBURBIUM

Utah Museum of Contemporary Art 20 S. West Temple May 24-Sept. 7 Opening reception Friday, May 24, 7-9 p.m. utahmoca.org

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moreESSENTIALS

COMPLETE LISTINGS ONLINE AT CITYWEEKLY.NET

Utah Pride Center Donation Ride Rebel House, 320 W. 200 South, May 25, 11 a.m., utahpridecenter.org

LITERATURE LITERARY EVENTS

Paisley Rekdal: West: A Translation & Performance Kimball Art Center, 638 Park Ave., Park City, May 23, 7 p.m., kimballartcenter.org

TALKS & LECTURES

Jason Wheeler & Stephen James: Suburban Planning & Design: A Conversation on Density UMOCA, 20 S. West Temple, May 23, 7 p.m., utahmoca.org Terry Sidford: Discover Your Courage, Share it with the World O.P. Rockwell Listening Room, 268 Main, Park City, May 28, 6 p.m., oprockwell. com Richa Wilson: The Other Ranger: Early Roles of Women in National Forest Management State Archives, 346 S. Rio Grande St., May 29, noon, history.utah.gov

Work by 20 Utah artists—including David Brothers (whose “Van’s Vault” is pictured), Christine Baczek and Edward Bateman—is curated in a survey of a wide range of contemporary photography in De | Marcation at Granary Arts (86 N. Main, Ephraim, granaryarts.org), May 24-Sept. 27, with an opening reception on Friday, May 24, 6-8 p.m.

PERFORMANCE

Utah Symphony: Mahler’s Symphony No. 1 Abravanel Hall, 123 W. South Temple, May 24-25, 7:30 p.m., utahsymphony.org West Jordan Symphony: Spring Concert Viridian Events Center, 8030 S. 1825 West, West Jordan, May 24, 7 p.m., westjordansymphony.org

LGBTQ

QSaltLake’s 15th Birthday Celebration Utah Pride Center, 1380 S. Main, May 24, 7 p.m., qsaltlake.com Queer Spectra Arts Festival Commonwealth Studios, 150 W. Commonwealth Ave., May 25, 1-10 p.m., utahpridecenter.org (see p. 18) Robyn Ochs: Getting Bi: Unpacking Biphobia and Bi Erasure and Creating a Culture of Inclusion Utah Pride Center, 1380 S. Main, May 29, 7 p.m., utahpridecenter.org SAGE Pride Days Brunch Utah Pride Center, 1380 S. Main, May 26, 11 a.m., utahpridecenter.org Those B!tches Drag Show Club Try-Angles, 251 W. 900 South, May 29, 7 p.m., clubtryangles.com

MENS & WOMENS

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MAY 23, 2019 | 25

CLASSICAL & SYMPHONY

Festival of Colors Ogden West Stadium Park, 1650 Jefferson Ave., Ogden, May 25, 11 a.m.-4 p.m., festivalofcolors.com Scandinavian Festival Snow College, 150 E. College Ave., May 24, 10 a.m.-8:45 p.m.; May 25, 5:30 a.m.-4 p.m., scandinavianfestival.org (see p. 18)

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Belly Dance Back to the ’80s Leona Wagner Theatre, 138 W. 300 South, May 24, 7:15 p.m., artsaltlake.org Derek Hough Eccles Theater, 131 S. Main, May 23, 8 p.m., live-at-the-eccles.com

FESTIVALS & FAIRS

DANCE

SPECIAL EVENTS

Along the Line: Contemporary Explorations of the Transcontinental Railroad Utah Cultural Celebration Center, 1355 W. 3100 South, West Valley City, through June 26, culturalcelebration.org Ancient Mediterranean Art: Res Mortis Utah Museum of Fine Arts, 410 S. Campus Center Drive, ongoing, umfa.utah.edu Andrew Dadson: Roof Gap UMOCA, 20 S. West Temple, through Sept. 7, utahmoca.org (see p. 20) Andy Taylor: New Paintings A Gallery, 1321 S. 2100 East, May 14-June 15, 6-8 p.m., closed Sundays, agalleryonline.com Blaine Clayton: Plein Air Peace & Calm Local Colors of Utah, 1054 E. 2100 South, through June 18, localcolorsart.com Claire Taylor: Transcendence by Observation UMOCA, 20 S. West Temple, through April 20, utahmoca.org David LeCheminant: Icons Finch Lane Gallery, 1340 E. 100 South, through June 7, saltlakearts.org De | Marcation Granary Arts, 86 N. Main,

A Lad ’n’ His Magic Lamp The Off Broadway Theatre, 272 S. Main, through June 1, Mondays & Fridays, 7:30 p.m.; Saturdays, 2 & 7:30 p.m., theobt.org Freezin’: Let It Go Already! Desert Star Theatre, 4861 S. State, through June 8, dates and times vary, desertstar.biz Grease Pioneer Theatre, 300 S. 1400 East, through May 25, Friday, 7:30 p.m.; Saturday, 2 & 7:30 p.m., pioneertheatre.org Ideation Wasatch Theatre Co., 124 S. 400 West, through June 1, showtimes vary, wasatchtheatre.org Into the Woods Jr. Hale Center Theatre, 3333 S. Decker Lake Drive, through May 24, showtimes vary, haletheater.org Matilda Hale Centre Theatre, 9900 S. Monroe Street, through June 15, dates and times vary, hct.org School of Rock The Eccles Theater, 131 S. Main, May 28-June 2, showtimes vary, artsaltlake.org (see p. 18) Steel Magnolias Hale Centre Theatre, 9900 S. Monroe St., through June 1, showtimes vary, hct.org West Side Story The Grand Theatre, 1575 S. State, through June 8, Wednesday-Friday, 7:30 p.m.; Saturdays, 2 & 7:30 p.m., grandtheatrecompany.com

Amerah Ames Wiseguys SLC, 194 W. 400 South, May 23, 7 p.m., wiseguyscomedy.com Jeff Dye Wiseguys SLC, 194 S. 400 West, May 24, 7 & 9:30 p.m.; Wiseguys West Jordan, 3763 W. Center Park Drive, May 25, 8 p.m., wiseguyscomedy.com Marcus & Guy Wiseguys West Jordan, 3763 W. Center Park Drive, May 24, 8 p.m., wiseguyscomedy.com Shawn Paulsen Wiseguys Ogden, 269 E. 25th Street, Ogden, May 24-25, 8 p.m., wiseguyscomedy.com Vicki Barbolak Wiseguys Downtown, 194 S. 400 West, May 25-26, 7 & 9:30 p.m., wiseguyscomedy.com The Johnson Files Improv Show Scera, 745 S. State, Orem, May 24, 7-9:30 p.m., scera.org

GALLERIES & MUSEUMS

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THEATER

COMEDY & IMPROV

VISUAL ART

Ephraim, May 24-Sept. 27, granaryarts.org (see left) Deanna & Ed Templeton: Contemporary Suburbium UMOCA, 20 S. West Temple, through Sept. 7, utahmoca.org (see p. 20) Horacio Rodriguez: (Un)Invited Collaborations with my Ancestor Finch Lane Gallery, 1340 E. 100 South, through June 7, saltlakearts.org The International Tolerance Project Utah Museum of Fine Arts, 410 S. Campus Center Drive, through June 23, umfa.utah.edu Jiyoun Lee-Lodge: Waterman the Stranger Alice Gallery, 617 E. South Temple, through July 5, artsandmuseums.utah.gov Katie Benson & Betsy Auwerda: Invisible Art Access Gallery, 230 S. 500 West, through June 8, accessart.org Krome Downtown Artist Collective, 100 S. 258 East, through June 14, downtownartistcollective.org Move Over, Sir! Women Working on the Railroad Utah Cultural Celebration Center, 1355 W. 3100 South, West Valley City, through June 26, culturalcelebration.org New West Modern West Fine Art, 412 S. 700 West, through June 8, 11 a.m.-6 p.m., modernwestfineart.com The Race to Promontory: The Transcontinental Railroad and the American West Utah Museum of Fine Arts, 410 S. Campus Center Drive, through May 26, umfa.utah.edu Ron Campbell: Beatles Cartoon Pop Art Show Relics Frameworks & Gallery, 4685 S. Holladay Blvd., May 23 & 24, 4-8 p.m.; May 25, noon-6 p.m.; May 27, noon-4 p.m., relicsgallery.com (see p. 18) Shady Acres Utah Museum of Contemporary Art, 20 S. West Temple, through May 25, utahmoca.org Spencer Finch: Great Salt Lake and Vicinity Utah Museum of Fine Arts, 410 S. Campus Center Drive, through Nov. 28, umfa.utah.edu Star Wars / Heroes and Villains Urban Arts Gallery, 116 S. Rio Grande St., through June 2, urbanartsgallery.org Transcontinental: People, Place, Impact Rio Gallery, 300 S. Rio Grande St., through June 16, artsandmuseums.utah.gov Treasures of the Transcontinental Railroad State Capitol, 350 N. State, through June 26, goldenspike150.org

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26 | MAY 23, 2019

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AT A GLANCE

Open: Tuesday-Thursday, 10 a.m.-8 p.m., Friday-Saturday, 10 a.m.-10 p.m., Sunday, noon-6 p.m. Best bet: The well-balanced pabellón Can’t miss: The especial’s meat-splosion

MAY 23, 2019 | 27

are sliced in half and stuffed with meat, beans and cheese, while Colombian arepas are typically served naked, stuffed with melted cheese or topped with grilled meat and veggies. Preparation methods in both countries overlap, but hitting up a Venezuelan arepa joint

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In Venezuela and Colombia, the arepa—a flattened cornmeal cake that’s been griddlegrilled to perfection—is a culinary staple. While the two countries have built their nationally renowned dishes on the same foundation, Venezuelan arepas, or arepas rellenas,

n my travels to survey Utah’s increasingly diverse food scene, it’s safe to say that I’ve gone pretty far down the rabbit hole of Central American sandwich culture. Even so, I’m delighted by the fact that I never cease to be surprised and fascinated by what I find. As soon as I think I have some semblance of understanding about the ways in which the lomito, pupusa, empanada and torta converge, I try an arepa from RicArepa Xpress (4616 S. 4000 West, Ste. D, 801-966-9393, ricarepaxpress.com) and conclude that I truly know nothing. Luckily, such realizations do little to deter me on my path to sandwich enlightenment. After trying nearly half of the arepa menu at this bright little West Valley restaurant, however, I think I’m going to be smitten with these colossal, overstuffed Venezuelan staples for the foreseeable future.

Abandon all hope of eating this entry without the aid of a fork—once the arepa soaks up all that love, its structural integrity tends to relax and jettison its cargo. Although I believe arepas should be consumed whenever the opportunity presents itself, I also encourage any fans of this sandwich dynamo to do so with reverence to Venezuela’s current political climate. Arepas have been a cultural necessity to the people of Venezuela for hundreds of years, and the country’s oppressive political regime has created a massive food shortage, putting the arepa in jeopardy of extinction at home. Every time we enjoy an arepa made by Venezuelan immigrants, we’re not only supporting a group of people who were lucky enough to start a new life for themselves, but we’re keeping a bit of Venezuelan culture in our hearts at a time when they really need it. CW

Get some sandwich baggage off your chest at West Valley’s RicArepa Xpress.

the heat of the shredded beef and beans melts the cheese down, letting it merge with the soft cornmeal of the interior. By the time you’re holding your last bite, you’ve got this perfect little punctuation mark of melted cheese and crispy cornmeal that has been supercharged with whatever meat drippings you’re not licking off of your fingers. The pabellón was the most balanced of the group, but I didn’t try anything that wasn’t delicious—and enormous. The arepa pernil ($7.95) combines shredded pork and a Venezuelan potato salad, which creates a starchy counterpoint to the fattiness of the pork and cheese. The arepa Mexicana ($9.95) throws fajitastyle grilled meat and veggies into the mix, and the arepa reina pepiada ($8.95) mixes shredded chicken with mayo and avocado for a cool, creamy variation. Those who can’t decide on which arepa best suits their mood will want to check out the goliath arepa especial ($10.95). This monster looks like it was created on a dare, as if its inventors were curious to see how much filling could be stuffed into the arepa’s pocket. The especial contains huge scoops of shredded beef, chicken, cheese and potato salad, along with some shrimp for good measure.

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

Arepa Therapy

stateside means facing down a menu of sandwich hybrids that combine elements of pupusas, tamales and tacos. There’s much to be said about RicArepa’s selection of fillings. But before we go there, we absolutely must talk about the arepa itself. On paper, I know that this is simply cornmeal and water that has been patted into something that resembles a slightly skinny English muffin before it’s grilled on both sides. Somewhere along the way, however, the arepa transcends the simplicity of its ingredients to become a textural wonderland. The exterior firms up into a pleasantly crisp crust while the inside remains chewy and soft. Once it’s stuffed with fillings like shredded beef, black beans, fried plantains and cheese like the arepa pabellón ($8.95), the flavors and textures combine in all the best ways. The pabellon is one of RicArepa’s most popular menu items, and it makes sense. In addition to the textural collision of crunchy exteriors that yield to warm, gooey centers, the understated sweetness of the plantains sings under all that salt. It’s a dish that remains in a constant state of flux as you eat it. When it arrives, the shredded cheese spilling forth from the arepa’s mouth is cold and sharp. As you work your way through,

the

BACK BURNER BY ALEX SPRINGER @captainspringer

Twin Suns relocation AS SEEN ON “ DINERS, DRIVE-INS AND DIVES”

Serving American Comfort Food Since 1930

“In a perfect world, every town would have a diner just like Ruth’s” -CityWeekly

“Like having dinner at Mom’s in the mountains” -Cincinnati Enquirer

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F O O D H E AV E N N A M R E G man Delicatessen & Restaura Ger

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Like so many intergalactic rebels forced to relocate in the face of an empire’s expanding influence, Twin Suns Café (2305 S. Highland Drive, 801-252-7061, twinsunscafeslc.com) is seeking a new home. As a last hurrah before they begin looking for a new location, the folks at Twin Suns are hosting an event on Saturday, May 25, to bid farewell to their Sugar House storefront while celebrating the 42nd anniversary of Star Wars. The evening features trademark dishes from a galaxy far, far away, such as Boba Fettuccine, Yoda Soda and Mini Thermal Detonators, along with a few surprises. The party runs from 6 to 10 p.m. Tickets are $65 and can be purchased via Eventbrite.

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Campos Coffee summer menu

Campos Roastery and Kitchen (228 S. Edison St., 801983-1512, us.camposcoffee.com) recently announced an update to their summer menus. In addition to a tasty iced coffee, diners can look forward to lamb sandwiches served with curry aioli and granola bowls with Greek yogurt, acai, blueberry and turmeric crunch. As Campos has always served food and drinks made with locallysourced ingredients, these new menu items feature products from Beehive Cheese, Gold Creek Farms and Pomona Farms. The menu update—in addition to a new rooftop patio—makes Campos Coffee a welcome destination as the temperatures start to rise.

Liberty Park Market fundraiser

The Liberty Park Market is gearing up for its third year, and the folks at We Olive and Wine Bar (602 E. 500 South, 801-448-7489, weolive.com) are offering a helping hand. Before the market officially opens, supporters can visit a kickoff fundraiser at We Olive featuring tasty food and wine along with live music and a silent auction to benefit the local farmers market. The fundraiser takes place on Tuesday, May 28, at We Olive from 6 to 9 p.m. Tickets are $40 and can be purchased at 24tix.com. Liberty Park Market (libertyparkmarket. com) officially opens on June 7 and runs every Friday from 4 p.m. to dusk until Oct. 4.

Celebrat i

28 | MAY 23, 2019

Pasta for the People since 1968

year

Quote of the Week: “You can’t stop change any more than you can stop the suns from setting.”

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—Shmi Skywalker, The Phantom Menace Back Burner tips: comments@cityweekly.net

ninth & ninth 254 south main

Two new offerings tell uniquely flavorful stories. BY MIKE RIEDEL comments@cityweekly.net @utahbeer

ness that provide a great balance, though still allowing the bitters and 6.8% alcohol to shine. Acidity is light, providing just a soft zap alongside the bitters and the malt. It’s almost like Nutella on pumpernickel bread. After the beer leaves, the mouth is left sticky with hop resin and saliva. Overall, this beer has great flavor and balance. There’s an ample amount of girth that comes with its malt- and toast-driven base. Santa Cruz in no way drags you into the traditional IPA territories, but it does

explode with hops, reminding you that this is more than your typical brown ale. Santa Cruz has been absent from Epic’s cold case for the last three years; this is a real treat that harkens back to the brewery’s older days as a Utah-only beer maker. Take advantage of this one while it’s around. Soul Rex is brand new, and will likely be a staple at Level Crossing for years to come. Still, you absolutely want some of this first batch, so you can say, “I was there when.” As always, cheers! CW

Celebrating the in all of us

Absolutely Fabulous

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his was a good week of discovery and rediscovery. I got acquainted with an old pal I thought I’d lost, all while getting to know a new friend that I have a lot in common with. These of course aren’t actual people I’m talking about, but local craft ales. They speak just as clearly as any of you, and have stories all their own. Level Crossing Brewing Co. Soul Rex: Pours a densely hazy golden amber body, with heav y sediment in tow and light carbonation. Humble hop aromas of tropical fruit, apricots, citrus peel, peppery spice and a touch of grass drift atop a light pale malt body, with a touch of biscuit malt for enhanced body. The hop bitterness and flavor are very mild-mannered for a Double IPA, but the overall aroma is wellbalanced and clean. While the bitterness of the hop profile is stronger in the flavor, the hop selection is slightly more familiar and less trendy than the aroma gives off,

showing off pithy grapefruit, zesty lemon, spice and grass with a bold bitterness. The malt profile is fairly simple—pale and biscuit malt with a modest but appreciated level of sweetness, finishing on a note of herbs and pepper with a subtle grainy undertone. The texture in this 8.4% ale is silky soft, fairly clean and moderately dry. The carbonation is mild, generating a mellow frothiness and a light crispness on the finish, and the body is shy of medium for the style. The balance is moderately bitter and slightly grainy as opposed to sweet, and the alcohol presence is modest. There are no significant off characteristics otherwise. Overall: This is a West Coast Double IPA done right—super fresh and abundantly hopped with the malts kept dry and light. I’m looking forward to tasting the rest of Level Crossing’s high point portfolio. Epic Brewing Co. Santa Cruz: The beer pours a deep, dark, candied brown, almost like maple sap. It sits in the glass as nearly black, with a fat head of medium sized, nearly khaki coloring. Pine and roast are the two main players on the nose, with aromas of dank pine and soft lemongrapefruit. You really get a sense that this is going to take you on a robust ride. On the tongue, the beer delivers much of what the aroma promised. Prickly, citric and pine bitters smooth into soft roasted bitters with touches of caramel malt sweet-

MIKE RIEDEL

Ale Talk

BEER NERD

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1 8 We s t

M a r ke t S t re e t 8 01 • 5 1 9 • 9 5 9 5

MAY 23, 2019 | 29

Lu n c h Dinner Co c k t a i l s

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Siam Noodle Bar The exciting cuisine at Siam Noodle Bar is not what comes to mind when someone says “hospital food,” even though this restaurant is located at the Intermountain Medical Center in Murray. Choose from an array of noodles, curries, salads and rice bowls loaded with vibrant flavors. There are also plenty of vegan and gluten-free options. “I wanted to offer fresh, healthy, delicious and affordable food to both hospital employees and visitors,” explains Anny Sooksri, who also owns Chabaar Beyond Thai, Tea Rose Diner and Fav Bistro. 5171 S. Cottonwood St., Ste. 160, Murray, 801-262-1888, asooksri.com

Award Winning Donuts

705 S. 700 E. | (801) 537-1433

NOW OPEN

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30 | MAY 23, 2019

GOODEATS Complete listings at cityweekly.net

150 South 400 East, SLC | 801-322-3733 www.freewheelerpizza.com

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Rad Pride

A DIY Provo venue brings out its rebel spirit in support of the LGBTQ community. BY ERIN MOORE music@cityweekly.net @errrands_

MUSIC

The Rad Shack with a night of rad local bands, community and charity. Whether you’re from Utah County, an intimate night at the DIY space, supporting the local LGBTQ community and their Pride organization, is a great way to open the season. CW

PROVO PRIDE BENEFIT SHOW

Saturday, May 25, 5-11:30 p.m. The Rad Shack 1644 S. State, Provo $10, proceeds go to Provo Pride and The Rad Shack All ages facebook.com/therad5hack

and care about what they are going through whether it be the bands, people attending, or just the local concert goer.” He cites the coming out of a close friend and mentor as the catalyst that opened his eyes to the importance of accepting and caring for LGBTQ folk—be they friends, family or strangers—and creating safe spaces free of the emotional turmoil and stress those who are part of this group face all the time. “There is so much bigotry, hatred and grief toward the LGBTQ-plus community that if just for one night, set or song, someone who is going through a struggle or crisis can forget that and be who they are, for that moment, then [to me] the night is a success,” he adds. For those who just can’t wait for Pride to start, the Provo Pride Benefit Show is there for you to kick off your celebrations early

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

ride is something of a frenzy-ish time, with excitement rising as soon as there’s a whiff of it in the air. Provo is no exception. While SLC Pride and its big, bright, loud parade and festival get most of the attention, communities like Provo have their very own schedule of festivities. One such event takes place a week before the official Pride weekend hits at Provo’s own DIY venue The Rad Shack—opened by California transplant Albert Vargas and Provo musician Dalin Shepherd in the wake of Muse Music’s closing in late 2016. The venue became something of a home for Caleb “Cubby” McBride, a Southern Idahoturned-Provo musician and member of the pop-punk act All That Falls, and he’s since started helping out at the venue by booking shows, including their Pride event, the Provo Pride Benefit Show, on Saturday, May 25. McBride explains that his involvement in the community—and eventual putting on of shows now and then at The Rad Shack—came about by simply attending shows there. “The Rad Shack was the first venue in Provo that I ever played, with a band called Kambree that is on the bill for [the benefit show],” McBride recalls. While still living in Southern Idaho, he and his band cut their teeth playing charity events—so many, he says, that they eventually learned how to stage their own. “The Rad Shack is the proper and only venue to do this event at,” he says, “because not only

is it one of the best venues in Provo, in my opinion, it is just a great DIY venue that can accommodate the bands, crowd and vibe of the whole event.” Spaces like The Rad Shack often best accommodate the needs of those who aren’t served elsewhere. With McBride’s experience putting on shows at the venue, it seems like the event is on stable ground, ready for the night of lively music and its listeners. The benefit show features a diverse roster of local talent. Among them is Bly Wallentine (FKA Officer Jenny), a longstanding local musician and owner of the Provo music studio Studio Studio Dada, who presents pop-rock-folk that sounds at first like church music until electric guitars or lyrics about sex and queer identity move in elegantly. Wallantine performs alongside pop-punk acts Alpine Loop, Radiation Vacation and McBride’s band All That Falls, who identify with pop-punk, though they maintain a distinctive ’90s alt edge. Also from Provo is electro-pop act Kambree, and from nearby Springville comes Harbor Patrol. Salt Lake City is represented by melodic rockers Storm Harbor Point, and one touring act, If We Were Turtles, arrives from El Paso, Texas. Provo Pride representative Chloe Agyin serves as emcee, and will give insights into Provo Pride and all it does. McBride says it’s exciting to get the chance to help raise funds for Provo Pride, and to get more involved with the organization in general, all while seeing eight great bands playing for the cause. “I am super excited to play this event as a musician … and as an advocate of the LGBTQ community, [I’m excited] to make new friends within the local Provo community.” For McBride, it isn’t just the music that’s central to the evening and its success, but what the audiences can get out of the evening. “I really hope that the attendees have a sense of peace, safety, acceptance, and community throughout the night,” he says. “I want them to know that there are people who know

ALBERT VARGAS

CONCERT PREVIEW

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MAY 23, 2019 | 31

2106 W. North Temple. Salt Lake City, Utah 801-741-1188

10% off for military, firefighters and law enforcement

FRIDAY 5/24

Combo Chimbita, Prince of Queens, Musor

Every now and then, an artist or group comes along who reminds listeners exactly what psych music really is, and what it can be. The genre is experimental ground for many, but forays into the unknown seem to get lost in the weeds—or rather, the effects pedals. Enter Combo Chimbita, an NYC-by-way-of-Colombia foursome who’ve constructed a glimmering, compelling sound by combining a base of Colombian folkloric Cumbia with reggae, salsa and funk, to create a truly psychedelic sound, though they describe it as “tropical futurism.” Their first, critically acclaimed album, 2017’s Abya Yala, and their recently released Ahomale both embody the spirit of experimentalism. Songs move steadily between slow-burning grooves fueled by sultry, tropical tones (“Dame Tu Mano,” “El Camino”) and high drama with energetic percussion (“No Regreso”) and sudden, almost-thunderous psych moments (“Ahomale”). Ahomale includes a touch of punk with songs like “Al Templo” that rock with heavy guitar, and remains just as hypnotic as their debut, if it doesn’t stir the blood a bit more. There’s a spirit of clear consideration, intent and careful restraint as they embark on their sonic explorations, and the whole process is grounded and further-uplifted by vocalist Carolina Olivero’s spirited voice, with its low registers and moments of near-keening. Although she sings entirely in Spanish, her magnetism is irresistible. The group will be quickening heart rates and moving bodies all over the country during their tour for Ahomale, supported by one of their members as a solo act, Prince of Queens, and at their SLC stop, by West Valley City locals Musor. (Erin Moore) Kilby Court, 741 S. Kilby Court, 7 p.m., $12 presale; $14 day of show, all ages, kilbycourt.com

Liz Cooper & The Stampede

TUESDAY 5/28

Liz Cooper & The Stampede, Harpers

Liz Cooper & The Stampede defy any easy attempt to confine them to any particular style. Although best described as psychedelic folk, Cooper’s singular singing style—combined with the band’s atmospheric arrangements—place them in a category of their own, thanks to an approach that’s circumspect yet alluring. With four EPs and one LP to their credit, Cooper and company have garnered an ample amount of critical acclaim, with most pundits raving about the trio’s assured sound and willingness to be daring and direct without falling prey to excess or inanity. Their debut album, 2018’s Window Flowers, provided an excellent showcase for their skill and savvy, with 11 tracks that veer from plaintive balladry to all-out exposition. Keyboards, glockenspiel, pedal steel and banjo underscore the usual rock regimen, making for a dazzling and distinctive combination that’s often unexpected, yet completely compelling. Cooper herself is a convincing and charismatic front person, prone to singing in a way that’s sensual and seductive. The band is adept as well, one reason why their live shows are always remarkable. Naturally, we wouldn’t make that claim unless it was completely true, which is why the group’s upcoming performance at Kilby Court ought to win over the uninitiated and demonstrate one more reason why this band appears on the cusp of a breakout. It might not seem like a stampede just yet, but Cooper and her compatriots are clearly moving forward. (Lee Zimmerman) Kilby Court, 741 S. Kilby Court, 7 p.m., $12 presale, $15 day of show, all ages, kilbycourt.com

Sleep, Big Business

SHERVIN LAINEZ

32 | MAY 23, 2019

STEPHANIE ORENTAS

Ostrich Elk Buffalo Wild Boar Venison Wagyu

BY ERIN MOORE, NIC RENSHAW & LEE ZIMMERMAN

The sound of Sleep is a monolithic, aweinspiring thing, made up of pounding, sluggish drums, thick, distorted walls of pure guitar and bass fuzz, and commanding vocals, delivered in an almost chant-like manner. And weed jokes—lots and lots of weed jokes. Indeed, guitarist Matt Pike and bassist/vocalist Al Cisneros have been stoner metal’s most

Combo Chimbita notorious stoners since the early ’90s, and remained heavily influential figures in the scene even after Sleep’s 1998 breakup. Pike formed sludge metal band High on Fire and Cisneros formed doom metal act Om along with drummer Chris Hakius. Both bands grew to be successful and respected in their own rights, but Sleep’s twin magnum opuses, 1992’s Sleep’s Holy Mountain and Dopesmoker (recorded in ’96 but entangled in record label disputes until 2003) attained near-legendary status, becoming holy grails for every kid with a bong and/or a fuzz pedal. Sleep reunited in 2009 with new drummer Jason Roeder, and finally released the long-awaited follow-up to Dopesmoker, entitled The Sciences, in 2018. The album delivered all the pot-loving Sabbath-worship one would expect from a Sleep album, boasting Pike’s signature beefy guitar tone, as well as song titles like “Marijuanaut’s Theme” and “Giza Butler.” Sleep is currently on tour for The Sciences, and comes to town joined by Seattle power duo Big Business, best known for their work with sludge pioneers Melvins in the midto-late 2000s. (Nic Renshaw) Metro Music Hall, 615 W. 100 South, 8 p.m., $30, metromusichall.com

Sleep

JASON ROEDER

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Exotic Burgers!

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FRIDAY, MAY 24

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Marianas Trench

WEDNESDAY 5/29

Marianas Trench, Scott Helman, DJ George Thoms

One would be hard-pressed to find a more devoted student of pop song-craft than Josh Ramsay. The Canadian musician’s biggest claim to fame might still be his writing and production work on Carly Rae Jepsen’s inescapable 2012 smash hit “Call Me Maybe,” but he’s also led his own band Marianas Trench through nearly two decades of sustained (albeit smaller-scale) success. Starting off as a fairly conventional emo-pop act in the early aughts, the Vancouver-based quartet truly came into their own with 2009’s Masterpiece Theater, an irrepressibly bombastic slice of pop-punk that cribbed notes from pop heavyweights of the ’70s and ’80s like Queen, Phil Collins and Journey. Queen in particular became a favorite reference point for fans and critics, because of the band’s newfound penchant for multi-tracked vocal harmonies and Ramsay’s powerful, elastic voice. In recent years, Marianas Trench have adopted a somewhat less rock-oriented approach—synth-pop and new wave influences dominated 2015’s Astoria, and one-off single “Pop 101” found Ramsay diving head first into nearly every Top 40 trope of the past 15 years with gleeful abandon. Marianas Trench is currently touring in support of their new album Phantoms, and stops by The Depot for a night of high-octane pop theatrics. Toronto-based singer-songwriter Scott Helman and DJ George Thoms open. (NR) The Depot, 400 W. South Temple, 7 p.m., $24-$124, depotslc.com

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Sebadoh, Flower

No one typifies the indie ethos more than Sebadoh, the Massachusetts-based band founded in 1988 by bass player Lou Barlow following his forced departure from Dinosaur Jr. Although they managed a consistent flow of intriguing albums early on, their success was spotty at best, and just more than 10 years after first forming, they went on hiatus for another decade, playing only occasional reunion shows to support various re-releases of their seminal offerings. Happily then, their first new studio effort in 14 years, 2013’s Defend Yourself, brought renewed interest and the overdue respect that other alternative outfits—contemporaries like Pavement, Nirvana and Guided by Voices in particular— had garnered in their stead. An upcoming effort, ironically titled Act Suprised, is due for imminent release and, if justice is served, will allow them to consolidate their gains, inspire the faithful and bring newer followers to the fold. Granted, it’s unlikely that Sebadoh will ever fall prey to commercial concerns, given that Barlow has typically opted for a lo-fi approach, whether with the band, his solo work or the occasional efforts of his side project, The Folk Implosion. After all, Sebadoh tended to lean toward grunge, with minimal heed paid to melody and extra emphasis placed on discord and distortion, as was apparent on early albums like Sebadoh II, Bakesale and Harmacy. Still, there’s always been something unerringly affecting about this band—an earnest, uncompromising sensibility that combines innocence and daring. It’s an unlikely blend, but one sorely needed given the pomp, predictability and bravado shared by many of today’s so-called stars. (LZ) The Urban Lounge, 241 S. 500 East, 8 p.m., $18 presale; $20 day of show, theurbanloungeslc.com

$24999 List Price $30000

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34 | MAY 23, 2019

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MAY 23, 2019 | 35

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Dog Friendly Patio Coming Soon!

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36 | MAY 23, 2019

FRIDAY 5/24

CONCERTS & CLUBS

CHARLOTTE RUTHERFORD

Kali Uchis, Jorja Smith, Mia Carucci

For many young artists, self-confidence can quickly veer into arrogance, with a sheen of bravado masking a lack of maturity. Kali Uchis and Jorja Smith, however, are not those artists. At just 24 and 21 years old, respectively, the Colombian-American Uchis and the Jamaican-English Smith lead a new wave of singer-songwriters redefining the nexus of R&B, neo-soul, doo-wop and electronic sub-strains like trip-hop and acid rap. Together, their joint The Kali & Jorja tour has elevated Uchis and Smith to pop superstar territory, with sold-out shows across the country attracting rabid fans and fawning critics. Uchis pulls the bulk of her half of this co-headlining bill from last year’s album Isolation, a stream-of-consciousness pop gem that blends banging production with a know-thyself lyrical narrative geared perfectly for the millennial generation. Meanwhile, Smith’s 2018 debut full-length Lost & Found garnered the Brit a Best New Artist nomination at the 2019 Grammy Awards. It’s the genre-blending covers—Radiohead’s “Creep,” Destiny’s Child’s “Say My Name,” Don Omar’s “Pobre Diablo”—that this dynamic duo has been performing at recent concerts that highlights their creative voraciousness, though. And when they close the night out with the call-and-response choruses of their collaborative hit single “Tyrant,” Uchis and Smith embody the confidence fully baked into their artistic personalities. “I can still reclaim my own femininity [and] take a hold of my own sexuality,” Uchis says in a news release for Isolation. “[I can] wear what I want to wear, look how I want to look, be who I want to be and that doesn’t mean that I can’t also be a creative, an intellectual—someone who calls their own shots in their life.” (Nick McGregor) The Complex, 536 W. 100 South, 7 p.m., $29.50, all ages, thecomplexslc.com

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MAY 23, 2019 | 37

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coming soon 5/31 6/11 6/14 7/30 7/31 8/18 8/23 9/8

BLUEGRASS JAM WITH PIXIE & THE PARTY GRASS BOYS 7 PM CHRISTIAN MILLS BAND 10 PM

MAY 23

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ROOSTER 9PM - NO COVER

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38 | MAY 23, 2019

PROPER BURGER CO.

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THURSDAY 5/23

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

LIVE MUSIC

China Doll (Garage On Beck) Chip Jenkins (Hog Wallow Pub) Dance with Pride! Benefit for Utah Pride Center feat. TinkFu + Clësh + Krie (Good Grammar) Devastation On The Nation Tour feat. Dark Funeral + Belphegor + Incantation + Hate (Metro Music Hall) Little Barefoot + Tiny Cartwheel (Rye) Michelle Moonshine (Gracie’s) Policulture + Adwela (The Royal) Reggae at the Royal feat. Riding Gravity + Mooseknuckly + Berlin Breaks + BruHound + Rougarou (The Royal) Salem Swing + Riah Divis (Velour) Sincerely, The Universe + Horrible Penny + Josh Giolas (Kilby Court) Zac Ivie + SayD + Coyotl + Gunz N Butter (Urban Lounge)

DJ Chaseone2 (Lake Effect) Dueling Pianos (The Spur) Dusty Grooves All Vinyl DJ (Twist) Dueling Pianos: Drew & JD (Tavernacle) Jazz Jam Session (Sugar House Coffee) Jazz Joint Thursday (Garage on Beck) Synthpop + Darkwave + Industrial + Goth w/ DJ Camille (Area 51) Therapy Thursdays feat. Wax Motif (Sky) Tropicana Thursdays feat. Rumba Libre (Liquid Joe’s)

KARAOKE

Areaoke w/ DJ Kevin (Area 51) Cowboy Karaoke (The Cabin) Karaoke (Willie’s Lounge) Karaoke Night (Tinwell) Karaoke That Doesn’t Suck w/ Mikey Danger (Chakra Lounge) Live Band Karaoke (Club 90)

A TSA agent, a flower child and a biker walk into a bar. Sounds like a punch-line to a corny joke, but it’s not: It’s a typical Sunday night at Proper Burger Co. on Main Street in Salt Lake City. It’s getting warmer outside, and Salt Lakers are staying out later on the proverbial “Sunday Funday,” and your girl is no different. Last time I visited, I mixed Proper’s Salted Caramel Porter with a Proper Style burger, and though admittedly it wasn’t the best combination, alone the two are worth their weight in gold. This time around, I wanted to catch all the charm and diversity that comes through Proper. Going to the bar side of the two-building square— the other building is strictly “licensed as a restuarant”—I find retro Konami arcade games, one of them a classic. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles game displays “Winners don’t use drugs” before I pop a handful of quarters in—a random plug on the FBI’s part that reminds players how old these games really are. The nostalgic arcade and pinball games go for tens of thousands of dollars at retail, so it’s worth every quarter. My order arrives, my usual Proper style with a black bean patty to-go. After I pack my food away, I see two girls in tie-dye mosey toward the shuffleboard. “I take my bar games seriously,” one of the flower child twins says. I watch in amazement, because I see shuffleboards in bars, but I never see them get used. They’re kind of like the pay phones of today, in that they might be around but no one uses them. Joe, the manager on Proper’s bar side, tells me on my way out to scope out Craft by Proper, which opened a few weeks ago. I’ve got my weekend booked now, though I’m not sure it will include shuffleboard. (Rachelle Fernandez) Proper Burger Co., 865 S. Main, 801-906-8604, properburgerslc.com

FRIDAY 5/24 LIVE MUSIC

Alternator (Ice Haüs) Backstreet Boys vs. Nsync (The Depot) Brother Chunky (Harp and Hound) Combo Chimbita + Prince of Queens + Musor (Kilby Court) see p. 32 DJ Weekend (Outlaw Saloon) Fox Brothers Band (Westerner) Jacob Skeen (HandleBar) Jorja Smith + Kali Uchis + Mia Carucci (The Complex) see p. 36 Kap Bros (Brewskis) Live Local Music (A Bar Named Sue) Machine Gunz N Roses + Dirt Cheap (Urban Lounge) Metal Dogs (The Spur) Mountain Country (State Road Tavern) Superbubble (Garage On Beck) Talia Keys (Yes Hell) The Strike + Ethan Carling (Velour) The Whiskey Rebellion (Hog Wallow Pub)

VaVaVoom Cabaret (Metro Music Hall)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

All-Request Gothic + Industrial + EBM + and Dark Wave w/ DJ Vision (Area 51) Dance Music (Chakra Lounge) DJ Dance Party (Club 90) DJ Juggy (Bourbon House) DJ Sneeky Long (Twist) Dueling Pianos (Tavernacle) Funkin’ Friday w/ DJ Rude Boy & Bad Boy Brian (Johnny’s on Second) Funky Friday w/ DJ Godina (Gracie’s) Lavelle Dupree (Downstairs) New Wave ’80s w/ DJ Courtney (Area 51) Top 40 All-Request w/ DJ Wees (Area 51)

KARAOKE

Areaoke w/ DJ Kevin (Area 51) Karaoke (Cheers to You SLC) Karaoke (Willie’s Lounge)

RANDY'S RECORD SHOP

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40 | MAY 23, 2019

CONCERTS & CLUBS SATURDAY 5/25 LIVE MUSIC

Backwash (Hog Wallow Pub) Fox Brothers Band (Westerner) Joy Spring Band (Sugar House Coffee) Live Band (Johnny’s on Second) Live Local Music (A Bar Named Sue) Mark Dee (Harp and Hound) Mat Wennergren (Yes Hell) Melody Pulsipher (HandleBar) Nick Passey & The Perpetual Sadness (Ice Haüs) Provo Pride Benefit Show (The Rad Shack) see p. 31 Riverside + Contrive (Metro Music Hall) Satin Steel (Brewskis) Spazmatics (Liquid Joe’s) Starmy + Red Bennies + Lord Vox (Urban Lounge) The Greeting Committee + Haley Blais + Halogyns (Kilby Court) The Hives & Refused (Union Event Center) The Strike + Jenn Blosil (Velour) Underground Cash + Cash’d Out (Garage on Beck) Zion Riot (The Spur)

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MONDAY 5/27 LIVE MUSIC

Amanda Johnson (The Spur) Crazy White Boy: Adam Calhoun + Demun Jones (Urban Lounge) Skeletonwitch + Soft Kill + Wiegedood (Metro Music Hall) The Pretty Flowers + Rebel Rebel (Kilby Court)

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KARAOKE

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TUESDAY 5/28 LIVE MUSIC

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Big Band Tuesday! (Gallivan Center) Christian Mills (Gracie’s) DJ Bryson (Brewskis) Hieroglyphics + Rap Noir + Stoney Hawk + S.A.V.E.1. + Mike Wird + Zac Ivie (The Complex) Lions Law + Press Gang Union + Mandalore (The Beehive) Liz Cooper & The Stampede + Harpers (Kilby Court) see p. 32 Mat Wennergren (The Spur) Sleep + Big Business (Metro Music Hall) see p. 32 The Teskey Brothers + Moorea Masa & The Mood (Urban Lounge)

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WEDNESDAY 5/29 LIVE MUSIC

Alicia Stockman (The Spur) Dizzy Wright + Demrick + Reezy (The Complex) Full of Hell + Primitive Man + Genocide Pact (Kilby Court) Joe McQueen Quartet (Gallivan Center) Marianas Trench + Scott Helman + DJ George Thoms (The Depot) see p. 34 Night Glitter + LouLou of Thievery Corporation + Lord Vox (Metro Music Hall) P.O.D + Nonpoint + Islander + Nine Shrines + Andrew W. Boss (The Royal) Sebadoh + Flower (Urban Lounge) see p. 34 The Silver Tongue Devils (Gracie’s)

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CINEMA

FILM REVIEW

CITY WEEKLY’S

PIZZA WEEK

Refined Crude Booksmart makes raunchy female coming-of-age into an actual movie.

Beanie Feldstein, left, and Kaitlyn Dever in Booksmart served up to them by a quirky classmate (a delightfully weird Billie Lourd), and hallucinating themselves turned into dolls with Barbie-like proportions. There’s a goofy yet marvelously lit scene as Molly imagines dancing with the boy she adores from afar, and a lovely moment as Amy swims underwater, believing she’s about to hook up with the girl she adores from afar. Perhaps best of all, a key scene involving an argument gradually drops out the sound, allowing for a focus on the raw emotions in the characters’ faces that mean more than whatever specific words they’re speaking. Booksmart ultimately circles around to being about moments of transition and independence, and while it hardly flops at the more serious material, it’s usually most effective when it’s leaning into its great cast—including Jessica Williams, Lisa Kudrow and SNL alums like Mike O’Brien, Will Forte and Wilde’s real-life partner Jason Sudeikis—and the comedic situations. That’s largely thanks to a directing hand that’s as deft with guiding actors to a killer line reading as it is crafting something with real visual style. It’s wonderful to reach a point where we expect more than the shock value of women saying “fuck,” and can celebrate women making a comedy that’s fucking terrific. CW

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BOOKSMART

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BBB.5 Beanie Feldstein Kaitlyn Dever Billie Lourd R

PAIRS WITH Superbad (2011) Michael Cera Jonah Hill R

Bachelorette (2012) Kirsten Dunst Isla Fisher R

Lady Bird (2017) Saoirse Ronan Beanie Feldstein R More info at cityweekly.net/pizzaweek

MAY 23, 2019 | 43

Bridesmaids (2011) Kristen Wiig Maya Rudolph R

t a moment when we often seem to be going in reverse as a culture, it’s a pleasure to realize one of the places where we’re actually making some progress: Crude, adult comedies focused on women aren’t so rare that we have to treat each one as groundbreaking transgressive entertainment. And we can actually talk about what makes the good ones, you know, good. Because while it’s important to tip our hats to the groundbreakers—movies like Bridesmaids, and, I guess, most of what Melissa McCarthy made in its aftermath—there’s nothing inherently better or funnier about ladies talking about sex and drugs, or doing sex and drugs, or having sex while doing drugs. A colleague once coined the term “the fallacy of the profane granny” to refer to the cinematic cliché of foul-mouthed senior citizens as inherently, incongruously hilarious, and it’s about time for “the fallacy of the horny female” to join its ranks. Once the novelty wears off, execution is all that matters. That’s a lot of preamble not to suggest that Booksmart leans into the fallacy of the horny female, but that it blessedly doesn’t. As directed by actor Olivia Wilde, overseeing her first feature, it’s a movie that feels like an actual movie, and not merely a receptacle for women being conspicuously R-rated.

Like a lot of the classic crude comedies, this one is a teen coming-of-age story, but from a slightly different angle. Molly (Beanie Feldstein) and Amy (Kaitlyn Dever) are best friends and the two top graduating seniors at Southern California’s Crockett High School—headed off to Yale and Columbia, respectively, after spending four years focused on nothing but building their academic résumés. But when Molly discovers on the last day of school that several of her less nose-in-the-books classmates are also heading to A-list universities, she experiences a surge of social hermit’s remorse. Thus begins an all-night odyssey on the eve of graduation as Molly and Amy set out to find the school’s big graduation party, and get their last chance to experience high school craziness. Craziness they do indeed find, in mass quantities. The echoes of Superbad—starring Feldstein’s brother, Jonah Hill—are unmistakable, full of episodic misadventures as our protagonists throw their nerdy selves into an unfamiliar and at times slightly dangerous world. Yet Booksmart carves out its own territory, largely by making use of a setting where openly gay teens—including Amy—are still figuring out what their sexual orientation means in real-world terms. Both Feldstein and Dever are terrific, finding distinctive shades in what could have been familiar high-school “brain” types, and embodying a power dynamic between the two besties that echoes their No. 1 and No. 2 class rankings. What really kicks Booksmart into another gear, though, is that Wilde actually directs it rather than just serving up the f-bombs and masturbation gags in the script (credited to four women writers). The most wildly imaginative sequence has Molly and Amy tripping on a designer drug surreptitiously

CITYWEEKLY.NET/PIZZAWEEK #UTPIZZAWEEK

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BY SCOTT RENSHAW @scottrenshaw scottr@cityweekly.net

UNITED ARTISTS RELEASING

J UNE 10-17, 2019

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44 | MAY 23, 2019

CINEMA CLIPS MOVIE TIMES AND LOCATIONS AT CITYWEEKLY.NET

NEW THIS WEEK Film release schedules are subject to change. Reviews online at cityweekly.net ALADDIN B.5 Disney’s current chore of mounting live-action remakes of all of its animated films continues to prove mostly an exercise in pointlessness and frustration with this second of its redos of the 1990s Disney Renaissance musicals. This new Aladdin lacks the charm of the original animated version, and—worse than 2017’s Beauty and the Beast—it cannot even seem to decide if it’s a musical or not, with characters awkwardly breaking into stilted snippets of song at random intervals in a way seemingly designed to ensure that there’s no melodic flow. The shoehorned-in new song, de rigueur if one hopes for an Oscar nomination, is an embarrassing sub-par go-girl ballad for Princess Jasmine. The story is lifted intact from the 1992 movie, with the street urchin Aladdin (Mena Massoud) wooing Jasmine (Naomi Scott), daughter of the sultan of the city-state of Agrabah, with the help of a Genie (CGI’d Will Smith). The leads have no chemistry, and the villain—Marwan Kenzari’s Jafar, vizier to the sultan—lacks all bite. It’s just watered-down pastiche, on ice, set at Epcot. Opens May 24 at theaters valleywide. (PG)—MaryAnn Johanson THE BIGGEST LITTLE FARM BB.5 John and Molly Chester give up city jobs and buy a dilapidated farm with the goal of a) keeping a promise to their dog, and b) making a farm that’s completely natural. Fascinating idea, right? Plus, director John (a veteran TV director before buying the farm with his wife, Molly, a food blogger) knows a good image,

and aptly shows the perils and rewards of building from nothing a farm that is one with the world surrounding it. There’s also a compelling pro-eco-farming message. However, John the producer should have fired John the voiceover artist, because as narrator, he comes off as sanctimonious and officious, and I’m betting that’s not the intention. Plus, as good as some of the footage looks, John the director makes John the character occasionally look like a jerk to his employees and volunteers. The film works best during its first half-hour, as the Chesters learn farming the hard way and their hippie agricultural expert Alan York has a bunch of screen time. It’s a worthwhile and important story, but there’s too much vanity and not enough agitprop. Opens May 24 at Broadway Centre Cinemas. (PG)—David Riedel BOOKSMART BBB.5 See review on p. 43. Opens May 24 at theaters valleywide. (R) BRIGHTBURN [not yet reviewed] It’s the Superman myth as horror, when an alien child with strange abilities grows up to be a threat to humanity. Opens May 24 at theaters valleywide. (R) PHOTOGRAPH BBB It’s a familiar farcical set-up: Mumbai tourist photographer Rafi (Nawazuddin Siddiqui), in order to placate the insistence of his grandmother (Farrukh Jaffar) that he should get married, persuades shy accounting student Miloni (Sanya Malhotra) to pose as his fiancée. But writer-director Ritesh Batra takes a considerably more low-key approach to the time-worn “people who are faking being in love actually fall in love” premise (Can’t Buy Me Love, Green Card, To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before, etc.), resulting in a gently thoughtful character study. Batra doesn’t emphasize the cultural particularities of this variation—religious differences, familial expectations—instead allowing for an observation of how Rafi and Miloni’s feigned relationship allows them an oasis

of genuineness from the frustrations of their daily lives; Miloni in particular gets to do some of the acting that is her real calling. The narrative is almost too restrained, and could frustrate viewers expecting a conventional payoff to the long buildup. The simple pleasures come from suggesting that two people finding something real together isn’t just a laughing matter. Opens May 24 at Broadway Centre Cinemas. (PG-13)—Scott Renshaw THE WHITE CROW BB In Paris ca. 1961, while on tour with the Kirov Ballet, Soviet dancer Rudolf Nureyev defected to the West. This elegant but dull endeavor—the third film from director Ralph Fiennes (he also appears briefly)—wants to be all about what led to this signal moment of the Cold War, except it’s not terribly enlightening. The film springs to passionate life in its last few minutes, in the tense defection sequence; the gripping jockeying of KGB agents and French police at Paris’ Le Bourget airport is worthy of a spy thriller. Mostly, though, the anemic script sees Nureyev (Oleg Ivenko) wandering prettily around Paris, eating at cafés, befriending the locals—primarily socialite Clara Saint (Adèle Exarchopoulos)—and generally being a generic arrogant jerk the likes of which we’re used to seeing male artists depicted as. If you don’t already know much about Nureyev, you’ll learn little here. There’s barely even any dancing, which is ... bizarre, given the film’s insistence that that’s all Nureyev is interested in, never mind his reputation as one of the greatest dancers ever. This is a film so subtle it’s downright diffuse. Opens May 24 at Broadway Centre Cinemas. (R)—MAJ

SPECIAL SCREENINGS BEFORE STONEWALL At Main Library, May 28, 7 p.m. (NR) PETERLOO At Park City Film Series, May 24-24, 8 p.m.; May 26, 6 p.m. (R)

CURRENT RELEASES

JOHN WICK: CHAPTER 3 – PARABELLUM BBB.5 The franchise isn’t entirely about brilliantly-choreographed action sequences, but also the rich mythology of its contractkiller subculture. Chapter 3 picks up mere minutes after Chapter 2 ends, as John Wick (Keanu Reeves) finds a $14 million bounty on his head for violating the revered rules of his one-time superiors. What follows is largely a gleeful series of set pieces involving John assassinating his would-be assassins, including the hilariously violent consequences of everyone finding themselves in a room full of knives. Yet the details of this underworld are still terrifically realized, including an Adjudicator (Asia Kate Dillon) meting out punishments to violators, and the wonderful realization that there are John Wick fanboys among his fellow killers. While our taciturn hero’s motivations aren’t particularly engaging this time around, it’s always a delight to watch him kick ass in this weird world. (R)—SR

THE SUN IS ALSO A STAR BB.5 Fair warning: This adaptation of a young-adult romance by Nicola Yoon announces its intentions when high-school seniors Natasha (Yara Shahidi) and Daniel (Charles Melton) are brought together by the phrase “Deus Ex Machina.” On the day that they meet cute in New York, Jamaica-born Natasha faces deportation with her family, and first-generation KoreanAmerican Daniel is scheduled for a college interview directing him to a future his parents expect of him. There’s an interesting tension in Ry Russo-Young’s direction between twinkly New York-set rom-coms and darker undertones, but while the background of the two leads provides depth, this still works primarily because of old-fashioned chemistry between Shahidi and Melton. A superficial treatment of the parents as traditionbound impediments dampens the spirit of a story about the hope that love offers in a messed-up world. (PG-13)—SR

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GEMINI (May 21-June 20): If there were a Hall of Fame for writers, Shakespeare might have been voted in first. His work is regarded as a pinnacle of intellectual brilliance. And yet here’s a fun fact: The Bard quoted well over 1,000 passages from the Bible. Can you imagine a modern author being taken seriously by the literati if he or she frequently invoked such a fundamental religious text? I bring this to your attention so as to encourage you to be Shakespearelike in the coming weeks. That is, be willing to draw equally from both intellectual and spiritual sources; be a deep thinker who communes with sacred truths; synergize the functions of your discerning mind and your devotional heart.

riches. The astrological omens suggest that the coming weeks will be an excellent time to go searching for them.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): “Some days you need god’s grace,” writes poet Scherezade Siobhan. “On other days: the feral tongue of vintage whiskey and a mouth kissed by fire.” I’m guessing, Sagittarius, that these days you might be inclined to prefer the feral tongue of vintage whiskey and a mouth kissed by fire. But according to my astrological analysis, those flashy phenomena would not motivate you to take the corrective and adaptive measures you actually need. The grace of god—or whatever passes for the grace of god in your world—is the influence that will best help you accomplish what’s necessary. Fortunately, I suspect you CANCER (June 21-July 22): “People will choose unhappiness over uncertainty,” writes know how to call on and make full use of that grace. Cancerian author and entrepreneur Timothy Ferriss. He doesn’t do that himself, but rather is quite eager to harvest the perks of CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): dwelling in uncertainty. I presume this aptitude has played a role Capricorn poet William Stafford articulated some advice that I in his huge success; his books have appeared on bestseller lists think you need to hear right now. Please hold it close to your awareand his podcasts have been downloaded more than 300 million ness for the next 21 days. “Saying things you do not have to say times. In telling you this, I’m not encouraging you to embrace weakens your talk,” he wrote. “Hearing things you do not need to the fertile power of uncertainty 24 hours a day and 365 days of hear dulls your hearing.” By practicing those protective measures, every year. But I am urging you to do just that for the next three Capricorn, you will foster and safeguard your mental health. Now weeks. There’ll be big payoffs if you do, including rich teachings here’s another gift from Stafford: “Things you know before you hear them—those are you, those are why you are in the world.” on the art of happiness.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): You will know you are in sweet alignment with cosmic forces if you have an impulse to try a rash adventure, but decide instead to work on fixing a misunderstanding with an ally. You can be sure you’re acting in accordance with your true intuition if you feel an itch to break stuff, but instead channel your fierce energy into improving conditions at your job. You will be in tune with your soul’s code if you start fantasizing about quitting what you’ve been working on so hard, but instead sit down and give yourself a pep talk to reinvigorate your devotion and commitment. ARIES (March 21-April 19): In the coming weeks, I suspect you will have the wisdom to criticize yourself in constructive ways that will at least partially solve a long-standing problem. Hallelujah! I bet you will also understand what to do to eliminate a bad habit by installing a good new habit. Please capitalize on that special knowledge! There’s one further capacity I suspect you’ll have: the saucy ingenuity necessary to alleviate a festering fear. Be audacious!

1. "Highway to Hell" band 2. "That's not true!" 3. Shrek, for one 4. Identifiable feature of singer/rapper Post Malone ... or an image seen after you've circled eight of this puzzle's squares? 5. Attempt

planet 43. Tried to nip 44. "Get ____ of yourself!" 45. "From Russia With Love" actress Lotte 46. Flower holders 48. Declared 50. Roman poet who wrote "Ars Amatoria" 51. Put on Craigslist, say 52. Gaelic tongue 54. Day of anticipation 55. Org. for the Suns and the Heat

Last week’s answers

MAY 23, 2019 | 45

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In the coming weeks, I hope you’ll regularly give yourself to generous, expansive experiences. I hope you’ll think big, funny thoughts and feel spacious, experimental emotions. I hope you’ll get luxurious glimpses of the promise your future holds, and I hope you’ll visualize yourself embarking on adventures and projects you’ve been too timid or worried to consider before now. For best results, be eager to utter the word “more!” as you meditate on the French phrase “joie TAURUS (April 20-May 20): What standards might we use in evaluating levels of sexual de vivre” and the English phrase “a delight in being alive.” satisfaction? One crucial measure is the tenderness and respect that partners have for each other. Others include the ability to SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): According to Popular Mechanics magazine, more than 3 million play and have fun, the freedom to express oneself uninhibitedly, sunken ships are lying on the bottoms of the world’s oceans. Some of the creative attention devoted to unpredictable foreplay, and them contain billions of dollars’ worth of precious metals and jewels. the ability to experience fulfilling orgasms. How do you rate your Others are crammed with artifacts that would be of great value to own levels, Taurus? Wherever you might currently fall on the historians and archaeologists. And here’s a crazy fact: fewer than scale, the coming months will be a time when you can accomplish 1% of all those potential treasures have been investigated by divers. an upgrade. How? Read authors who specialize in the erotic I bring this to your attention, Scorpio, because I hope it might inspire arts. Talk to your partners with increased boldness and clarity. you to explore your inner world’s equivalent of lost or unknown While meditating, search for clues in the depths.

DOWN

6. You might act on it 7. Prone to sunburn 8. Lumberjack's tool 9. Adds to the batter, say 10. Comment on, as in a margin 11. Luxury car with a hyphen in its name 12. Dickens' "____ of Two Cities" 13. 2003 #1 hit for OutKast 21. Sharpton and Gore 22. "____ First Trip" (cartoon episode where the title character recalls meeting Boots) 24. J's value in Words With Friends 25. Biblical outcast 26. Parabolas, essentially 27. Creator of Dorothy and the Cowardly Lion 28. Tweak 29. Millionaires' properties 31. One of the financial markets, for short 33. Hosp. scans 34. Challenge for Santa's dry cleaner 36. Drumming sound 37. Mr. who debuted 5/1/1952 39. Rough-housed 40. Politician with a six-year term: Abbr. 42. Luke Skywalker's home

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VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Don’t wait around for fate to decide which decisions you should make and what directions you should go. Formulate those decisions yourself, with your willpower fully engaged. Never say, “If it’s meant to be, it will happen.” Rather, resolve to create the outcomes you strongly desire. Do you understand how important this is? You shouldn’t allow anyone else to frame your important questions and define the nature of your problems; you’ve got to do the framing and defining yourself. One more thing: don’t fantasize about the arrival of the “perfect moment.” The perfect moment is whenever you decree it is.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “Love is an immoderate thing/ And can never be content,” declared poet W.B. Yeats. To provide you with an accurate horoscope, I’ll have to argue with that idea a bit. From what I can determine, love will indeed be immoderate in your vicinity during the coming weeks. On the other hand, it’s likely to bring you a high degree of contentment—as long as you’re willing to play along with its immoderateness. Here’s another fun prediction: I suspect that love’s immoderateness, even as it brings you satisfaction, will also inspire you to ask for more from love and expand your capacity for love. And that could lead to even further immoderate and interesting experiments.

1. Off the ground 6. Towel provider, often 9. John's running mate in 2008 14. "Close but no ____" 15. Word after income or sales 16. Fed. bond 17. "Pride and Prejudice" beau 18. Microbrewery product 19. Parquetry design 20. One of Canada's First Nations 21. Go gray, say 22. In a dryly amusing way 23. Snitch 25. Adrift, perhaps 26. Loses intensity 29. More spooky 30. Gas that home inspectors check for 31. Network for political junkies 32. Yogi's sounds 35. 1981 thriller whose title character is a St. Bernard 36. Spins, as Earth 37. Technical opening? 38. Sch. with the George W. Bush Presidential Library 39. Circus whip-cracker 40. Prefix with -path or -logical 41. Written rules 43. Software trial 44. Charlie Parker's instrument 46. Ristorante glassful 47. Surgical instrument that stops bleeding 48. Occupied, as a table 49. Attachment to a movable sprinkler 53. Longtime NBC newsman Roger 54. Les ____-Unis 55. "Not in a million years!" 56. Second Lady after Tipper 57. Geese formation 58. Helps (out) 59. Went out with 60. Asner and Sheeran 61. Perplex

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LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Many 18th-century pirates were committed to democracy and equality among their ranks. The camaraderie and fairness and mutual respect that prevailed on pirate ships were markedly different from the oppressive conditions faced by sailors who worked for the navies of sovereign nations. The latter were often pressed into service against their will and had to struggle to collect meager salaries. Tyrannical captains controlled all phases of their lives. I bring this to your attention, Leo, with the hope that it will inspire you to seek out alternative approaches to rigid and hierarchical systems. Gravitate toward generous organizations that offer you ample freedom and rich alliances. The time is right to ally yourself with emancipatory influences.

ACROSS

No math is involved. The grid has numbers, but nothing has to add up to anything else. Solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic. Solving time is typically 10 to 30 minutes, depending on your skill and experience.

Go to realastrology.com for Rob Brezsny’s expanded weekly audio horoscopes and daily text-message horoscopes. Audio horoscopes also available by phone at 877-873-4888 or 900-950-7700.

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Utah is known for its scenery, maybe too much these days. Our Mighty 5 national parks are full to capacity more often than not as visitors from all over the globe discover the red rock vistas. Along the Wasatch Front, we see breathtaking silhouettes of our section of the Rocky Mountains. And I love the bad-ass flat and barren-as-hell Salt Flats and West Desert. To coin an old marketing phrase, “It’s a pretty great state,” (for views and scenery, of course). In contrast, New York City has some killer views if you like the man-made kind. And damn do you pay to get them. The New York Times real estate section recently published the price of a condo that offers a panorama of the famous outlines of the steel-and-concrete buildings that surround Central Park. Located at 157 W. 57th Street, the 6,200-square-foot condo is listed for $58.5 million and offers a stunning panoramic view of the park. The listing agent was quoted saying that a “buyer would pay a 25% premium for those soaring views, compared with what it would cost to buy an apartment on a lower floor.” As a native New Yorker, I can agree that views of the park are wonderful. The highest residential buildings in downtown Salt Lake are American Towers and City Creek condos. Units in the Towers go for wildly different prices when there’s a great view. City Creek condos have temple, mountain, sunset or city views or a combo thereof. They are the most expensive units in the city in terms of price per square foot. Currently, there are two units at 99 W. South Temple with killer views going for $1,575,000 (2,300-square-foot two bedroom) and $1,950,000 (2,800-square-foot three bedroom). The rule of thumb in real estate is the higher up you go in a building, the more money you’ll pay. Antone Frandsen, a local appraiser, says views can increase values 5-10%. You know views are important when you travel and check nightly rates for a hotel room. In some cases, you’ll pay 10-50% more to get a beach versus city view. Or book a cruise ship cabin and find that no view (interior) versus balcony or window are wildly different in price. The most expensive view for a condo in Utah currently is at the Montage in Deer Valley. It costs $8,050,000 with 4,000 square feet, four bedrooms and five baths ($1,979 per square foot). Not only are the mountain views stunning, but it’s a concierge building where a staff hefts your bags, collects your dry cleaning and mails your packages. Oh, and FYI, there’s another high rise going up at City Creek next door to the condos at 99 West—a 25-story office tower, not residences. n

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Overreactions What began as a quiet family dinner at home quickly escalated into a front-yard brawl on April 22 in Bedford, Va. Fox News reported that Mark Turner, 56, his girlfriend, the girlfriend’s son and the son’s girlfriend had retired to the front yard after dinner when an argument broke out between the two men about whether Chevrolet or Ford makes better vehicles. According to the Bedford County Commonwealth’s Attorney Wes Nance, Turner allegedly pulled out a knife but ended up slashing his girlfriend’s back as she tried to calm the situation. Next Turner went inside and retrieved a gun, but as the girlfriend again tried to get between him and her son, he allegedly shot the woman five times in the leg. He also shot the son in the arm, and two of his stray bullets hit the son’s girlfriend in her back and cheek. Finally, according to prosecutors, Turner barricaded himself in the house, where police eventually shot him with a beanbag round and took him into custody. Turner was charged with felony malicious wounding, use of a firearm in the commission of a felony and possession of a firearm by a felon.

Yikes! John Gardner was minding his own business, driving to work in Conway, S.C., on April 30 when “a big, black dot” flew into his windshield, shattering the glass, according to WBTW. “I didn’t get hurt at all,” Gardner said, though he was covered in glass fragments. The flying object didn’t fare so well: A nearby truck had hit a tortoise crossing the road and projected it into Gardner’s car. Rob’s Auto Body said the animal died on impact. The truck driver was also unhurt, but it’s estimated that repairs to Gardner’s car will cost about $2,000.

Police told WPMT they later identified the thieves during a drug investigation in Fairfax County, Va.

Likely Story Police in Tempe, Ariz., said Vanessa Santillan, 40, and her boyfriend were arguing as she was driving on April 21. When she stopped, he exited the car and crossed the street to a sidewalk. Santillan then honked the horn, and her boyfriend returned a rude gesture, according to KTVK/KPHO. That’s when police say Santillan drove onto the sidewalk and hit the man, causing injuries serious enough to require a trip to the hospital and stitches. Santillan drove away, but later spoke to police saying she wasn’t aware it was “that bad” when she left the scene, further elaborating that she had “blacked out” and didn’t remember hitting the boyfriend—even though her car had visible damage. She was booked on one count of aggravated assault and one count of failing to remain at the scene of a collision with injuries.

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Update News of the Weird reported in May 2018 about Thomas Tramaglini, the superintendent of Kenilworth Public Schools in New Jersey, who pleaded guilty to defecating on the Holmdel High School track and football field “on a daily basis.” On April 30, Fox News reported, Tramaglini filed a lawsuit against the Holmdel Police Department for releasing his mug shot, claiming doing so tarnished his reputation and “altered his life forever.” Tramaglini’s actions earned him the nickname “pooperintendent,” and he claims to be “underemployed” and “fighting for any semblance of normalcy he can create for himself and his family.” However, he also negotiated a “separation agreement” of more than $100,000 with the district in August 2018. Oops Runners of the Belfast City Marathon on May 5 who felt the course would never end had a legitimate reason, CNN reported. Organizing committee chairman David Seaton admitted later that “approximately 460 additional meters were added to the officially measured course of 26.2 miles,” a difference of about three-tenths of a mile. Seaton blamed the mistake on “human error, with the lead car diverting from the official route.” Organizers promised to adjust runners’ times to account for the additional mileage. Wait, What? Bartender Sarah Krueger was hoping to raise awareness about women’s health issues at Yuzu in Lakewood, Ohio, when she introduced a new cocktail, the Even Can’t Literally—a red berry margarita sporting a tampon applicator as a garnish. She told WJW that $1 from the sale of each drink goes to the Domestic Violence and Child Advocacy Center in Cleveland, and patrons can decide whether they want the garnish included or not. Critics were quick to complain on social media, but bar owner Dave Bumba defended the promotion: “This is a small way to bring awareness to real good causes that we are behind.” Bumba also assured customers that the health department had OK’d putting the feminine hygiene product in the drinks. The Continuing Crisis In Spokane Valley, Wash., two thieves must have been really thirsty on May 1 when they heaved a 700-pound soda vending machine into the back of a pickup truck. Ryan King, owner of ProFormance Lube, noticed that the “monstrosity” of a vending machine was gone as soon as he arrived at work that morning. When he checked his surveillance camera footage, he saw two men loading it into the truck—even though the store is right across the street from a police station. “It just goes to show how brazen criminals are,” King told KHQ. The machine was later found but was damaged beyond repair. Police are still on the lookout for the thieves. Send tips to weirdnewstips@amuniversal.com

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Crime Report Sometimes a girl just wants a pretty new thing. But Aida Melcado, 18, and an unnamed minor accomplice, let greed get the best of them. Lower Allen Township Police say Melcado and her helper browsed through the Victoria’s Secret store in the Capital City Mall in Bethesda, Md., on April 7, carrying large shopping bags and talking on cellphones. While the minor acted as a lookout, Melcado allegedly shoveled delicates into her bag, to wit: 375 hipster panties (worth $3,937.50), 375 cut thongs ($3,937.50), 1,000 thongs ($10,500) and 250 rawcut hip-hugging panties ($2,625), for a grand total of $21,000.

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News That Sounds Like a Joke Arnold J. Teeter, 49, became angry while dining at a Perkins restaurant in Painesville, Ohio, on April 16. First, he threw a menu at his waitress; when a manager stepped in, Teeter upped his game and grabbed his pet iguana from under his shirt, twirled it in the air and launched it toward the manager. Teeter was charged with disorderly conduct—and with cruelty to animals, because Copper, the turquoise iguana, suffered a broken leg in the incident. The Lake County Humane Society has taken the female lizard into protective custody and is trying to raise money for the surgery she needs, reports WEWS. No word on whether the Perkins manager suffered any injuries.

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Free Speech TSA agents at Juneau International Airport logged unexpected cargo on April 15 when a “large organic mass” was spotted in a traveler’s carry-on bag. TSA spokesperson Lisa Farbstein explained to KTOO that such a flag can indicate the presence of explosives. However, when agents opened the bag, they found a plastic grocery bag full of moose “nuggets.” The passenger told the TSA officers that he collects them to present to “politicians and their (bleep) policies,” Farbstein explained. The passenger was not detained and was allowed to continue on with his bag of moose poop. Later that day, the Anchorage Daily News reported that a man was seen at the state capitol, handing out baggies of moose nuggets in protest of Gov. Mike Dunleavy’s proposed budget.

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