31
Polishing a Turd That’s how those in the advertising business describe those situations when they’re forced to take a client’s lame idea for, say, a TV commercial and make something out of it that doesn’t completely suck or ruin their professional reputation. Like when the owner of a vacuum cleaner repair shop insists on putting himself, his wife and their three homely daughters in the spot. Or when the marketing director for a computer company wants the voiceover to read like a Limerick. I fear that as you date me you are polishing a turd since I forget to wait until you have your meal served before I start inhaling mine; I show up at your parents’ for dinner, my hair uncombed, a series of condiment stains on my pants; and I fall asleep almost immediately after we make love in my bed atop sheets that haven’t been washed in months. But don’t forget this all comes with a blessing: You’ll always be able to claim some plausible degree of irresponsibility since I wasn’t your idea to begin with.