FEBRUA RY 2024 | T HE R EL AT I O NS H IP ISSU E | A PU B L ICATION OF TH E COM O COM PA N I ES
B UILDI NG A FAMI LY Clint Sinclair, Davon Argo, Darryl Reese, and Naeema Reese
Relationship THE
ISSUE
Building community through the power of storytelling. That’s What She Said is a platform for everyday women to share their extraordinary stories.
Saturday, April 13th, 2024 The Missouri Theatre 2 02 4 C HA R ITY PA R TN ERS
Benef iting maternal health initiatives in our community.
PRESEN T IN G SPONSOR
Meet the Vascular Surgery Team at MU Health Care Let’s get to know the Vascular Surgery team at MU Health Care. We asked our surgeons and staff to tell us why they chose vascular surgery, to describe the best aspects of their team, to tell us what patients can expect when they receive care from the Vascular Surgery team, and to highlight anything that is new or most exciting about the program at MU. We also asked them to share a fun fact about themselves.
Todd Vogel, MD Chief of Vascular and Endovascular Surgery I find vascular surgery to be one of the most challenging and interesting specialties in surgery. It requires intense planning for success. We use cutting edge technology to offer minimally invasive solutions for complex problems for our patients. We have created an outstanding team which focuses on patients and outcomes. We are the most comprehensive vascular team in mid-Missouri. We perform complex tertiary vascular procedures to the most basic. We provide coordinated and patient-centered care with our nurse practitioner and vascular nurse coordinators. MU vascular provides coordinated care, engaged physicians and nurse practitioners in state-of-the-art facilities. Exciting cutting-edge programs at MU include our complex aortic program, percutaneous transmural femoropopliteal arterial bypass (PTAB) for PAD, and TCAR for carotid stenosis. Many procedures are offered today through a minimally invasive approach, which historically were only possible through open incisions. FUN FACT: My favorite pastimes are cooking with family and traveling.
Jonathan Bath, MD Associate Professor, Vascular Surgery What we do as vascular surgeons is always challenging due to the nature of vascular disease. Offering a solution or treatment for these complicated problems can often immeasurably improve the quality of a patient’s life. Our team does a great job of making the process from clinic visit to surgery to after-care seamless, and patients always see the same faces throughout the whole experience. We treat all patients equally and with respect and compassion. If a procedure or surgery is not needed, we are the first ones to tell the patient just that. As the region’s only academic vascular practice we have access to new trials,
Scan the QR code or visit: muhealth.org/conditions-treatments/heart-vascular-care/vascular-surgery
devices and technology to improve patient care and a team that has deep experience with treating complex and more simple vascular disorders. Many of our team are national leaders in vascular surgery and we pride ourselves in that our program is nationally recognized in aortic repair, cerebrovascular disorders as well as limb salvage and dialysis access. FUN FACT: I have become more adept with woodworking and like to build functional furniture. I still have all my fingers as of the time of this writing.
Steven Cheung, MD Assistant Professor, Clinical Vascular Surgery We have the benefit and expertise from our multitude of specialist colleagues to help us including but not limited to the surgical intensives, cardiothoracic surgeons, cardiologist, radiologist, as well as the many medical specialists that helped to provide the best care for our patients allowing for us to respond any contingencies. Patients can expect at MU the most up-to-date and advanced care in vascular surgery. We are all incredibly involved in the academics and stay current with innovative technologies and techniques to provide the best care possible. The most exciting part about vascular surgery at MU is the aortic program. We take pride in our ability to take care of patients whether clinically frail or anatomically complex using a variety of open or endovascular techniques, often hybrid combinations. FUN FACT: My latest hobby has been 3-D printing. I finally bought a 3-D printer, and my first project was to take a CT scan from one of my patients and construct a 3-D model of his aorta.
Uttara Nag, MD Assistant Professor, Clinical Vascular Surgery I am passionate about supporting patients with potentially life and limb threatening conditions and finding personalized solutions to work through complex problems. I was an engineering student in college and have always had a strong interest in visual art. Vascular surgery represents an intersection between art and science. The best part of the team at MU is that everyone has an appreciation for the challenges in the field and is willing to work together to do what needs to be done to take care of the patient. The vascular surgery program at MU continues to seek innovative ways to improve care, for example, with complex endovascular repair of thoracoabdominal aneurysms and hybrid approaches to arterial occlusive disease. FUN FACT: My husband and I enjoy paddleboarding and are adopting a golden retriever puppy.
Tiffany Meller Advanced Practice Registered Nurse In vascular surgery, we treat problems with blood vessels. And since you have blood vessels throughout your entire body, we manage a multitude of disease processes. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t learn something new! I genuinely enjoy getting to know my patients beyond just their disease process. I want to help them in all aspects if possible. Our vascular surgery team would not be able to provide the comprehensive quality care that we do without the help of other staff and
departments throughout MU Health Care. The physicians I work with never cease to amaze me! They are very busy clinically, but they still find time to do research and learn new ways to enhance patient well-being. FUN FACT: I was born and raised in midMissouri, graduated from Mizzou for both my undergraduate and graduate degrees, and have worked within MU Health Care for almost 17 years. Guess you could say I bleed black and gold!
Jessica Krautmann Vascular Nurse Coordinator As the nurse coordinator for the Vascular Surgery Team, I work with surgeons, a nurse practitioner, a vascular surgery scheduler, and a patient service representative. I most value having an open line of communication with our multidisciplinary team members throughout the day. We constantly share information to provide timely symptom relief and a streamlined, seamless experience for our patients with vascular disease. Patients with vascular disease of any type can count on expert, stateof-the-art, collaborative care starting at the time of referral for their first appointment and extending throughout the pre- and post-operative period until the patient’s goals have been achieved. We are committed to seeing our patients get back to enjoying the daily activities that were curtailed by their vascular disease and pain. Our referrals are growing, and as a result, so has the practice! FUN FACT: I grew up in a military family, and we moved around the country a lot. My husband and I are the proud parents of an adorable, very active 18-month-old daughter.
for more information on Vascular Surgery. | For appointments, call 573-882-1308 or request an appointment online.
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Letter from the Editor
Forever Friends
A
lthough we are technically still in the middle of winter, this issue warms my heart. We take a look at a theme that shapes the narrative of our lives – the significance of relationships. In a world that often seems driven by deadlines and targets, it is crucial to pause and recognize the profound impact that both personal and professional connections have on our well-being and success. First, let’s dive into the blessing of personal relationships. Our connections with friends, family, and romantic partners form the foundation upon which we build our lives. Friends: The companions that we choose in life. These are the people we share our dreams with, we laugh with, we cry with. Some friends we have known our whole lives, and some friends you meet later in life. Both hold significant roles. I have been blessed with a great group of friends, many of whom I have known for 30plus years. The take-it-to-the-grave type of friends. Family: Our constants in an everchanging world. Family provides a sense of belonging and unconditional support. The ties that bind us to our family members are not just biological; they are emotional and enduring. In times of triumph and tribulation, family becomes the anchor that steadies us. Romantic relationships: Th is is where we usually feel our most vulnerable. These connections are a testament to human emotions. Offering companionship, growth, love, understanding, and a shared vision for the future. Turning to professional relationships, if you are lucky, you will fi nd colleagues that feel like family. After all, we often spend more time
with our work families than we do with our actual families. Relationships in the workplace are the building blocks of a thriving career. Colleagues, mentors, and networking connections form a network of people that contribute to our growth and success. Mentors are so important in our professional journey, there to provide us with their invaluable insights and wisdom. Mentors are very beneficial for our continuous learning and improvement. I’ve learned a lot over the past few years about the importance of networking. Networking opens doors to opportunities, partnerships, and collaborations. Beyond the transactional aspects, genuine networking is about building relationships based on trust, mutual respect, and shared goals. Both personal and professional relationships contribute to the wellbeing of our lives. The importance of fostering and nurturing these connections cannot be overstated. As we explore the various forms of relationships in this issue, let’s reflect on the role they play in shaping our narratives, enriching our lives, and guiding us in our continued growth. Here’s to the beautiful relationships that make our journey through life truly meaningful.
BFF’s for 30+ years!
ON THE COVER Clint Sinclair and Davon Argo with their children Darryl and Naeema Reese. Story on page 29. Photo by Keith Borgmeyer
XO,
KIM AMBRA, EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
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Advisory Board
Representing Voices from All Different Walks of Life.
We take pride in representing our community well and we couldn’t do what we do without our COMO Magazine advisory board. Thank You!
Beth Bramstedt A ssociate Pastor C h r i s t i a n F e l l o w s hi p C hu rc h
Heather Brown Strategic Partnership Of ficer H a r r y S Tr u m a n VA H o s p i t a l
Kris Husted Senior Content Editor N PR M i d w e s t N e w s ro o m
Amanda Jacobs Owner J a c o b s Pro p e r t y M a n a g e m e nt
Chris Cottle
Community Citizen
Darren Morton Program Direc tor Tu r n i n g P o i nt
Sam Fleury A s s i s t a n t V i c e P r e s i d e n t , S t r ate g i c C o m m u ni c a t i o n s , C o l u m b i a C o l l e g e
Alex George Owner Sk ylark Book shop
Megan Steen C h i e f O p e r a t i n g O f f i c e r, Central Region B u r re l l B e h av i o r a l H e a l t h
E xe c u t i v e D i r e c t o r Unbound Book Fes tival Author
Chris Horn S r. R e i n s u r a n c e M a n a g e r A m e r i c a n Fa m i l y I n s u r a n c e
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Nathan Todd Business Services Specialist F i r s t S t ate C o m m u n i t y B a n k
Jeremiah Hunter
Wende Wagner
A ssistant Police Chief C o m m a n d e r I nv e s t i g a t i o n s B u r e a u C o l u m b i a P o l i c e D e p a r t m e nt
Direc tor of Resource Development The Boys and Girls Club o f t h e C o l u m b i a A re a
THE RELATIONSHIP ISSUE 2024
COMO MAGAZ I NE
TH E R E L ATIO N S H IP IS S U E | FE B RUARY 2024
11 EDITOR’S LETTER
12 MEET OUR ADVISORY BOARD
15 ART & CULTURE Love is in the Kiln
17 COMO CREATURES The Cat's Meow
19 WELLNESS Relationship Help is Within Reach
21 GOURMET New Musicians, Same Song
25 Bella Faith Photography
GUEST VOICES Cookin' with Hoss
26 FAVORITE FINDS Traditionally Gifting
29 FRIENDS & FAMILY Building a Family
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SPECIAL WEDDING SECTION 41
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SPECIAL SECTION EDITOR'S LETTER A Day to Remember
WEDDING COORDINATORS The linchpin to your perfect day.
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WEDDING BUSINESS UPDATE Preparing Students for Colorful Careers
A VENUE TO REMEMBER 'Location, location, location’ may be the three most important elements of your wedding.
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NONPROFIT SPOTLIGHT Boundless Possibility
62 GUEST VOICES Barbara Buffaloe
63 GUEST VOICES Adonica Coleman
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WEDDING CHECKLIST
THE LAST WORD
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"THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID" COLUMBIA 2024
SHROUDED IN SHAME AND SECRECY
THE PERFECT MATCH
Ticket sales help promote local maternal health initiatives.
Online sextortion targeting teens is increasing at an alarming rate.
Finding the right therapist for you. COMOMAG.COM
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J OIN US ON MARCH 13 AT T HE M I SS O URI STAT E C A P I TO L FOR
Disability Rights Legislative Day 2024
Join our Van Taylor Monthly Giving Society
and ensure Woodhaven can continue to advocate and provide services for those with developmental disabilities and Neurodivergent Youth for years to come.
Celebrating
60 YEAR S !
woodhavente a m . o rg
Protect what’s
important. Bradley Young Allstate Insurance Agent (573) 514-6407 Stop by the office or scan the QR code to request an appointment. 2500 W Ash St
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THE RELATIONSHIP ISSUE 2024
COMO
Love is in the Kiln
ART & CULTURE
Make a date to rediscover your passion and creativity. BY CANDIC E BALL
C
ountless studies have shown that creative endeavors are good for the body and the soul: they promote emotional wellness, provide an outlet for the mind, and can even improve and enrich long-term romantic and personal relationships. If you’re looking for a good date night option, or a fun self-care exercise — or just need a good excuse to get together with friends — Pottery Island, owned by Sandy and Vaughn Goff, fits the bill. The Pottery Island experience allows individuals, couples, or groups to express themselves by choosing a piece of pottery, applying paint through a technique of their liking, and bringing it to life. “They apply the underglaze into whatever design they want,” Sandy explains. “We also have lots of tools to help them, stencils and stamps and sponges, all kinds of stuff. And then, when they’re finished, I glaze and fire it, and they get it back in about a week. If we have it in stock, you can make it.” Sandy also frequently teaches and provides instruction about different painting techniques. She’s passionate about guiding those who are looking to learn something new, while also creating a space for people to create freely. “I’ll give you all the help you want — some people don’t want any, and that’s great,” Sandy says. “I just love to see people being creative.”
Pottery Island’s clientele runs the gambit between young and old. “We have babies coming in to get their little footprints, or their little handprints, where they’re a little older, all the way to people a hundred years old who have Alzheimer’s, who loved to do it, and they want to do it again, and we show them how,” Sandy says. The Goffs host veterans from the VA hospital, homeschool students, Girl Scouts, and 4-H clubs, among others, all of whom can benefit from Pottery Island’s creative space. Sandy also makes it a ritual to sit with her sister (who partnered with her in the business at its inception), once a week, so they can do some painting of their own. She deeply values creativity because it was an important presence in her past and continues to enrich her present. Her love for making beautiful things goes back to her teenage years. That motivation continues to run the Goff ’s business
and a mission to create a therapeutic environment where lovely things can grow. “To unwind, and let yourself go, and let yourself express, whether it’s good or bad, it doesn’t matter — this is a good safe space to walk in, be yourself, do your thing, and not be judged,” she says. Pottery Island is open from 10 a.m. to 8 p.m. on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday. It also is open from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. on Wednesdays and Saturdays. The Goffs regularly welcome individuals and couples as walk-ins and for groups and parties. Be sure to call ahead to reserve the party room for groups of six or more people.
POT TERY ISL AND 573-356 -5234 601 Business Loop 70 West, Ste 213C Facebook.com/pottery_island pottery-island.com
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The Cat's Meow Bertha’s Beans Cat Café has patrons saying me-wow. BY E MMI WEINER
J
essica Schlosser is no stranger to taking on new projects. When she was approached about taking over the downtown cat cafe off Second Street near Walgreens, she pounced at the challenge. What was formerly Papa’s Cat Café reopened as Bertha’s Beans Cat Café under her ownership in November 2023. “I’m here to provide the people what they want. And people want to hang out with cats,” says Schlosser, who also owns Lizzi & Rocco’s Natural Pet Market with her husband, Kyle.
ALL THINGS CAT Bertha’s Beans Cat Café features a refreshed interior, with the cat side receiving much of the work. Schlosser and her team used their access to cutting-edge pet furniture trends to design an interactive and safe environment for the cats. “We want to really focus on cat enrichment,” she adds. Schlosser has extensively studied cats and cat behavior from her years of running Lizzi & Rocco’s and from decades of being in the pet store business. She explains how using vertical space creates a more interesting environment for the cats and gives them a variety of perspectives. “We’ve got a little staircase that goes up one wall. And then a little catwalk that goes the entire perimeter of the room,” she continues. “Some more enclosed corners for our shy cats who can kind of sit up there and observe but in a place where they feel more safe and protected. Lots of climbing shelves for them to explore, get creative, and have some fun.”
“I'm here to provide the people what they want. And people want to hang out with cats.” – J E S S ICA S C H LO S S E R , CO - OWN E R
The cats in the café are all from Columbia Second Chance and are available for adoption. Second Chance can house some of the cats together to help create a smoother transition into the cafe’s group environment. “They are already pre-adjusted to each other and living in a little bit more of a group environment than a foster home,” Schlosser explains. “We’ve already done thirty adoptions. They’re excited. We’ve been open for two months.” To adopt a cat, just fi ll out an adoption application with Second Chance and await approval. The process can happen pretty quickly.
CAFÉ SIDE The café menu has also been revamped. “We expanded the menu just to make that its own focus,” she says. Bertha’s Beans features coffee made with beans from Fretboard Coffee as well as smoothies and other fruity beverages. “We’ve also been doing a lot of non-coffee, caffeinated drinks because I don’t drink coffee, so I wanted something appealing to other non-coffee drinkers,” she adds, noting the variety of options available. The food menu expanded to feature wraps and pastries. The pastries are made
by local legend Rebekah “The Croissant Lady” Irby of The Bakery. “Rebekah very much helped us with a lot of our set-up, procedures, and ideas because she is outstanding,” Schlosser says. “She helped put us in contact with a few other people to collaborate with as well.” Bertha’s Beans also features a small gift shop that focuses on things for cat lovers rather than cat food and toys. Schlosser hopes the cafe serves as a gathering place, a place to study, and a place for cat lovers to enjoy cats. “We’re learning that it is really a wide audience. It’s college kids who miss their cats from home. It is people who are looking for a different place to study,” she explains. “It’s a good place for parents to take their kids. It’s a very eclectic mix of people,” some who may be on a date. “You can for sure tell they’re on a date. Which is also adorable,” Schlosser says. “It’s just been a very cool experience.”
BERTHA’S BEANS CAT CAFÉ 14 S Second Street 573-554 -5407 berthasbeans.com
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DID YOU KNOW? Lewy Body Dementia (LBD) is the second leading cause of dementia. LBD is the most misdiagnosed form of dementia and is often misdiagnosed as Alzheimer’s. There are several key differences between LBD and Alzheimer’s symptoms: • REM sleep disorder, delusions, and paranoia are common in LBD, but not Alzheimer’s. • Hallucinations are common early on in LBD, whereas in Alzheimer’s it is usually in the later stages. • LBD patients experience temporality of symptoms. This means their symptoms are present at some times but not other times.
Throughout 2024, we will be hosting forums to help educate, and provide support and resources. We are dedicated to educating the families of loved ones who have been diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia, along with our community, health care providers, social services and long/short term memory care facilities.
To stay up-to-date on educational opportunities and available resources, or for more information on LBD, scan the QR code or visit LewyBodyAwareness.org. LarryGrosslbaf@gmail.com • 573-673-4349 FOLLOW OUR FACEBOOK PAGE: Larry Gross Lewy Body Awareness Foundation The Larry Gross Lewy Body Awareness FND is a registered 501(c)3 organization.
At Tiger Family Chiropractic, we believe your relationship with our office begins with the genuine desire to improve your life with chiropractic care. We are dedicated to helping you
Feel Like Yourself Again. tigerfamilychiropractic.com | 573.443.1414 3700 Interstate 70 Dr SE #110, Columbia, MO 18
THE RELATIONSHIP ISSUE 2024
COMO
WELLNESS
Relationship Help is Within Reach BY ALICIA BELMORE
R
elationships come in all shapes, sizes, timeframes, and depths. Considering those complexities, where can we turn when we need help with our relationships? Show Me Healthy Relationships is a resource available to Missourians who want help.
GETTING STARTED As part of the University of Missouri’s Department of Human Development and Family Science, Show Me Healthy Relationships (SMHR) is in the Center for Family Policy and Resources. The program got its fi rst round of five-year funding in 2015 with a focus on building healthy relationships for singles, couples, and individuals reentering society after incarceration. Dr. Chelsea Garneau-Rosner, assistant research professor, explains how that works. “Partners were brought into the class with the individuals reentering society so they could explore what a healthy relationship should look like in a structured way, and we worked also with probation and parole officers,” she says, adding that crimes committed by women are often “relationally based,” so those individuals can benefit from structure and support. SMHR began regular classes after about nine months and in 2020 another five years of funding was awarded.
SUPPORT FOR SINGLES Show Me Healthy Relationships has become more focused on single adults who may need guidance with relationship skills. “We were required to hone in on just one group to serve in the second five years, and there are so few programs and aid for single adults to access,” Dr. Garneau-Rosner says. The free program currently offers single adults access to online classes. The eight-week classes consist of learning to understand relationship needs and whether a relationship partner can meet those needs now or perhaps at some point in the future. Participants can look back to see how their earliest relationships may have affected them and how those experiences play a part in current relationships. The program supports safety in relationships — emotional, physical, and community support — and there are even classes about coparenting and step-family dynamics when needed. To qualify for enrollment, participants must be Missouri residents, 18 or older, who are not in a committed relationship.
In some cases, however, there is help for individuals leaving a relationship to learn how to close that door and avoid the same issues with future relationships. Program evaluation is also a key step to make sure SMHR is meeting those needs. Dr. Garneau-Rosner said SMHR has partnerships with Central Missouri Community Action in Columbia and Cornerstones of Care in the Kansas City area to help connect residents with the organization and the online classes. Once qualified to enroll, participants are assigned an SMHR representative to help make sure they have what they need and can focus on the class to reap the most benefits. Class instructors from around the state include University of Missouri social work graduate students and those hired by the partner agencies. Instructors have a background in family science or social work and also go through extensive training for the program curriculum.
FUTURE PLANS FOR EXPANDED SERVICES In 2025, SHMR will reapply for another round of grant funding to keep the program going. Dr. Garneau-Rosner says she is passionate about the program and her role in guiding SHMR. She adds, “My goal is to build it out again in the future to include services for youth” and “to expand to meet a wider range of needs for everyone, making individuals as well as the community stronger.”
SHOW ME HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS 573-882-4035 Department of Human Development and Family Science Center for Family Policy and Resources showmehealthyrelationships@missouri.edu
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COMO
GOURMET
New Musicians,
The next generation of Murry’s. BY A MA N DA LO NG | PHOTO S BY L A NA E K LU ND
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GOURMET
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eeping company with iconic, long-standing Columbia dining institutions such as Shakespeare’s, The Heidelberg, Booches, and the Pasta Factory, local favorite Murry’s has stood the test of time. Murry’s eclectic, no-frills menu and casual atmosphere are the local diner’s hallmarks, known by both locals and visitors alike. An anomaly in the restaurant world, it’s a non-franchised, locally owned establishment that has continued to thrive for nearly forty years in one of the toughest industries. “Beloved” is an understatement when it comes to the fierce loyalty of devoted Murry’s customers who frequent the bar and dining room. “Our customers feel a real ownership and want to make sure ‘their bar’ is being well taken care of,” says Sarah Lark, one of four current owners. She laughs about the common questions customers have for new bartenders: “What’s your name? Where are you from?” Mick Jabbour, who owned Booches in the early eighties, originally opened Murry’s at 3107 Green Meadows Way, and named the restaurant for a customer who played a lot of snooker at Booches. In 1985, Jabbour realized he couldn’t handle the demands of two restaurants and sold Murry’s to Bill Sheals and Gary Moore, who was a former Booches employee. To avoid the cost of registering a new name, the new co-owners decided to keep the name. In the early days, Sheals cooked while Moore bartended, serving mostly a customer base that consisted of their friends. “When Bill and Gary fi rst opened, business was pretty slow, so all their buddies would come in and hang out at the bar,” Lark says. It was, in fact, the original bar crowd after whom many menu favorites are named including Bleu Chips Cheese Bread (Chip Godfrey) and Brock’s Green Pepper Rings (Brock Jones). Over the next thirty-six years, Sheals and Moore worked to create not only an
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establishment known for its welcoming atmosphere and good food, but also incorporated good jazz. Working with John Poses, founder of the “We Always Swing” Jazz Series (and the J.P.’s Grilled Cheese) and eventually Tom Andes of the Tom Andes Trio, Murry’s became one of the few spots in Columbia to regularly feature live jazz. When it comes to restaurant legacies, among the former Murry’s employees who now own or co-own their own establishments are Deb Rust at Tellers, Leigh Lockhart at Main Squeeze, Sanford Speake at Sycamore Restaurant, and Walker Claridge at Broadway Brewery. Murry’s made headlines in September 2021 when Sheals and Moore passed the torch to new but familiar locals: former MFA Oil CEO Mark Fenner, former food/ beverage rep Jesse Lark, and long-time employees Angie Sampson and Sarah Lark. “We were handed really big shoes to fi ll, but Bill and Gary made it easy. Murry’s is like a soundboard that they have been tweaking the dials for the last thirty
years and have found just the right setting,” says Sarah. Working in restaurants since she was 15, Angie Sampson joined the Murry’s crew in 1998 as a busser working her way up to hostess, server, and eventually manager. “I was working for people who made it really easy to work here and I fell in love with this place. They were the best bosses — sideby-side with us in the trenches, bussing tables and running food,” Sampson says. Sampson oversees the front of house including the hiring, training, and scheduling servers, bussers, and hosts. “As owners, we are still super hands on. We are a great team,” she adds. “I had my fi rst wait shift in years a few weeks ago on a Friday night and I was so nervous, but it was like riding a bike.” Formerly of Ernie’s, Shiloh, and Teller’s, Sarah manages the bar including hiring and training bartenders, and ordering. She remembers her interview with Bill in 2009, laughing that they both agreed it was endearingly awkward.
COMO
“I got so lucky because bartending shifts at Murry’s are so coveted and I dove right into it,” Sarah recalls. “We chatted for three minutes and then he asked when I could start.” While not a former Murry’s employee, Jesse Lark brings his corporate experience to the group, offering a fresh, outside perspective of the restaurant industry. Sarah says he’s the techy of the group. “Jesse does whatever needs to be done, ordered, fi xed, built, cooked, designed, Microsoft Excelled, ran, thanked, poured, programmed, processed, praised, washed, or given a high-five,” Sarah laughed. “We’re a restaurant powerhouse — between the three of us [Angie, Jesse and Sarah] we have eighty years of experience.” Although Fenner did not grow up in the industry, at Murry’s he plays a crucial role.
“Mark is here day in and day out. He’s the behind-the-scenes numbers guy — payroll, bookkeeping, invoices,” Sampson explains. “I remember when I trained Mark as a server. He walked out of the kitchen with two salads and asked how he should know where they go, and I told him the tables are numbered.” She adds, “He’s so smart and a fast learner and he’s gotten really good at all of it.” In addition to a devoted customer base, Murry’s continues to boast an impressive average tenure of employees, both front and back of house, many of whom have ten-plus years of service. And even through the transition, not a single employee or customer was lost. “It feels like home and that’s why we grow our staff to do everything so that they appreciate every position and learn
GOURMET
FR OM LEF T TO R IGHT: Mark Fenner, Angie Sampson, Sarah and Jesse Lark, Bill Sheals, Gary Moore.
to love this place,” Sampson gushed. “We make them feel valued and part of the family and they make a ton of money. Happy staff makes good food.” Sarah notes, “Our employees celebrate holidays and birthdays together. Murry’s is a culture where people are close-knit, and it makes everyone appreciate where they are and what others have done.” Additionally, full-time employees receive benefits including health insurance, retirement, and paid vacation. “So many regulars plan their vacation around the third week of July because we are always closed and they know that,” Sampson says. COMOMAG.COM
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Although it caused quite a stir when ownership changed hands, Sampson and Lark reaffi rmed that little has changed since — including the menu, regulars, and staff. The team takes baby steps to make any alterations. Among the few updates is the integration of a point of sale (POS) system. “That’s one of those ‘fresh eyes’ things that Jesse brought,” Sarah Lark explains. “Pushing the keys on that old cash register behind the bar was like ‘chunk, chunk, chunk,’ but these new systems will blow your mind — learning new things suck for six weeks but it is worth it.” Samspon adds, “When we added the Brie Fries and the Jim’s Bobs [named for kitchen manager Jimmy Evans, a twelveplus year employee] to the menu it was on the radio and people went nuts. But we reassured them these were minor additions, not changes, and everything else is still exactly the same.” Two weeks after takeover, multiple customers requested that the lights be a bit brighter, so the lights were turned up. “Gary comes in two weeks later to get a beer and check on us and he asked if we could turn the lights down,” Sampson says. “I laughed and told him you don’t work here anymore. But he used to always say, ‘The lights are low for a reason. Everyone looks better in the dark.’” Sarah adds, “Bill and Gary come in now to hang out and enjoy themselves and they get mobbed like celebrities.” The new team agrees that it’s the comfortable atmosphere and simplicity and consistency of the food that has contributed to Murry’s success. “Bill’s approach to food was to buy high quality ingredients and do as little to mess it up until it gets to the table,” Sarah says. “We buy the best ingredients we can buy and prepare them simply so the ingredients can shine. It’s approachable — no need for need for crazy sauces.” Angie adds, “The best thing about Murry’s is that you can come in a prom dress, cut-offs, or a business suit — it is just made for everyone. The price points, the atmosphere — anyone can walk in and feel comfortable. That is why it is and will continue to be so great.” 24
THE RELATIONSHIP ISSUE 2024
COMO
VOICES
Cookin' With Hoss BY H OSS KOET TING
H
ave you ever ordered crab rangoon at your favorite Chinese restaurant? You get crispy little purses of cream cheese in a wonton skin with some sweet sauce to dip them in. Although tasty, I’m not sure I’ve ever found any crab in one of them. It’s kind of like finding the pork in a can of pork and beans! The reason for this is quite simple: crab meat is really expensive, and it always has been. The harvest over the last several years has been limited due to decreased quotas placed by governmental entities to ensure the future sustainability of the crab population, thereby causing a limited supply, which contributes to increased prices. So an already pricey product just gets pricier! However, if you’d like to splurge and have a really indulgent treat, here’s my take on the crab rangoon. It takes a little artistic license, but it is also adaptable to be used in a variety of applications depending on what direction you would like to take. Also, any leftovers can be frozen and used at a later date.
CRAB RANGOON FILLING
Sauté the celery and onion until sweated and lightly caramelized.
•
Add the cream cheese, Mae Ploy, lemon juice, clam base, Cajun seasoning, and Worcestershire.
•
Remove from heat, whisk until blended, then add crab meat.
•
Fill wonton skins as desired and fry.
INGREDIENTS
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1 lb. cream cheese
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3/4 c. finely diced celery
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3/4 c. finely diced yellow onion
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1 tbsp. Minor’s clam base (available online)
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3 tbsp. Mae Ploy Thai sweet chili sauce, (available at Asian markets)
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2 tbsp. lemon juice
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1 tbsp. Worcestershire sauce
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6 oz. blue crab special white or claw meat
•
1 tbsp. Hoss’s Cajun Seasoning
INSTRUCTIONS
Jim “Hoss” Koetting is a retired restaurateur/chef who enjoys gardening, good food, good bourbon, and good friends.
•
•
Let the cream cheese come to room temperature.
Note: Use this blend for traditional crab Rangoon. FOR CRAB RANGOON DIP:
Increase Mae Ploy to 1/3 cup and double lemon juice and Worcestershire sauce. Serve hot with wonton chips or pita chips. FOR CRAB STUFFING:
Add 1/2 cup panko bread crumbs to basic crab rangoon filling, stuff shrimp or desired seafood, and bake.
COMOMAG.COM
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COMO
FAVORITE FINDS
Traditionally Gifting BY KIM AMBRA
I
took a stroll through McAdams Ltd. searching for gifts that matched the ‘traditional’ guides for milestone anniversaries and wouldn’t you know it — they had it all! Whether it’s your fi rst or fiftieth anniversary I would bet you can find something to give the love of your life.
10 th – TIN or Aluminum Beaded trinket tray Mariposa
15 th – CRYSTAL Tall Astor Perfume Bottle Waterford Crystal
1st – PAPER Carte Noire notepad set Anna Griffin
5 – WOOD th
Hand carved primitive wood bowl with cast iron birds Jan Barboglio
20 th – CHINA Chinoiserie styled porcelain vase with a classic hand painted blue and white motif
25 th – SILVER Antique Art Nouveau Clip
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THE RELATIONSHIP ISSUE 2024
COMO
FAVORITE FINDS
30 th – PEARLS
40 th – RUBY
50 th – GOLD
Pearl necklace and earring set
Bracelet
Gold necklaces
35 th – CORAL
45 th – SAPPHIRE
55 th – EMERALD
Painted coral vase and jewelry tray
Necklaces
Necklaces
60 th – DIAMOND Diamond tennis bracelet
MCADAMS’ LTD. 1501 OLD HIGHWAY 63 S. MCADAMSLTD.COM
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GIFT CARDS Scan the QR code to purchase a digital gift card!
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Making memories is a priority for this Columbia foster family. BY L AUR EN S A BL E FR E I M A N | PHOTO S BY K E I T H B O R GM EYE R COMOMAG.COM
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C
lint Sinclair vividly remembers Wednesday, July 8, 2020. That was the day he and Davon Argo welcomed two children — a brother and a sister — into their home as their fi rst placement after becoming licensed foster parents. “Our fi rst placement was suggested to us by our advocate at the time, who said they thought it would be a good fit,” Sinclair says. “We had actually done respite care the week before for five boys, and we decided that if we could survive that, we could survive anything. I was very nervous. I didn’t know what to expect; we didn’t have any background on the kids and bringing them into our home was a little scary for me.” On October 23, 2023, Sinclair and Argo officially fi nalized their adoption of those siblings who stole their hearts more than three years prior — Darryl Reese, now 16, and Naeema Reese, now 6.
TheJourney
It was a whirlwind experience for the couple, who decided to get their foster care license after running into barriers with adoption agencies. “We had looked into local agencies around Columbia and none of them did adoptions for same-sex couples,” Argo says. “One agency recommended another that did do adoptions for same-sex couples, but it was a terrible process. It felt like a waste of time and money, and it didn’t ever materialize into anything.” Once Sinclair and Argo found Coyote Hill Foster Care Services in Columbia, the process moved fast. The fi rst step was becoming licensed to care for children in the foster care system. Because it was during the height of COVID, the couple completed an online course via Zoom. “It was several weeks of two to threehour sessions,” Argo says. “You go through the process and learn about the foster care system, kids in foster care, what to expect. You get an idea of what it will be like to be a foster parent.” After a home visit, the couple was put on the list to start taking placements. “To me, it’s been shocking to learn how many homes are needed for kids, and we get notifications multiple times a week about kids needing placement,” Sinclair says. “Sometimes our home is 30
THE RELATIONSHIP ISSUE 2024
full and we can’t; sometimes it is just not right for the family dynamic.” When they brought Darryl and Naeema into their home, Sinclair says he and Argo “dove off the deep end into parenthood.” While their parenting journey was and continues to be challenging in a variety of ways, the couple says there are many resources available for foster parents and children, and those resources have made a world of difference for their family. “When you get a foster placement you get a laundry basket for the kids full of bedding, hair care products, socks,” Sinclair says. “Every kid placed in Boone County gets this basket so they have something of their own. There are also so many resources out there to help foster parents deal with things like trauma and therapy.” While therapy has proven helpful for their children, Argo says it has been especially helpful as he and Sinclair parent a teen. “It’s extremely different to know what is him being a teen and pushing boundaries versus he has a need that isn’t being met from trauma in the past,” Argo says. “These kids come to your home and the only thing they know is what their
past experiences are. Maybe it wasn’t well-received if they opened up to someone before. Maybe they’re private kids. That’s why therapy has been great. We keep a constant communication with the therapist, which has made it easier for us to navigate.”
Making an Impact Th roughout their foster parenting journey, Sinclair and Argo have cared for emergency placements for a night or two and welcomed two long-term placements. No matter how long the children stay, Argo says the kids stay in their hearts forever. “Even if you don’t have them for a long time, you become invested in them,” Argo says. “You can’t help but learn to care about them and want to know what happens to them, even if it was only a short-term placement.” While the calls seeking homes for foster placements come almost daily, Sinclair says the family has learned through trial and error how new placements can affect the family dynamic. At this point in their journey, and based on the age of their children, the couple agrees that teen boys are their focus.
“Even if you don’t have them for a long time, you become invested in them. You can’t help but learn to care about them and want to know what happens to them, even if it was only a short-term placement.”
- Davon Argo
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FRIENDS & FAMILY
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“We are trying to build memories and set any kids who come into our home up for success regardless of the goals of their case.”
- Clint Sinclair 32
THE RELATIONSHIP ISSUE 2024
“Unfortunately teens are not popular” for foster families, Argo says. “Very few people want to take on teens who come with trauma, are not always easy to get along with, who have a sense of identity from their past life. We’ve really focused on trying to help teens. They get forgotten and pushed aside because they aren’t the cute cuddly kids that people want.”
Making Memories They learned through the training process that foster parents are encouraged to take pictures and make a memory book for each child, even if they are only in their care for a short time. Making memories with their children is high on their list of priorities, especially as Darryl is 16. “We don’t have a lot of time with Darryl before he turns 18, and we are trying to build memories and set any kids who come into our home up for success regardless of the goals of their case,”
Sinclair says. “In the fi rst year we had Darryl and Naeema, we took them to Disney and we took Darryl to an NBA game for his birthday.” While it hasn’t been an easy road, Argo says that watching both of his kids grow and fi nd success is extremely rewarding. “Naeema is learning to read, and watching Darryl succeed at basketball is amazing,” Argo says. “I remember when he showed up. He looked terrified. To go from that little scared boy to a kid that is becoming a man over the next couple years, to see how much progress he’s made mentally, physically, emotionally, how much he can cope with — I don’t think a lot of adults could go through what he’s been through with his outlook. I’m really proud of him.” Though they take each day as it comes, the couple does agree that there is room in their hearts to care for more children. “Davon and I agree that more placements are absolutely in our future,” Sinclair says.
WHAT THE
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AI PAINTING PLUS
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By Austin Ilsley Find more at aipaintingplus.com
W
e’re peeking behind the curtain to learn more about the leadership and staff at Ai Painting Plus LLC. The conversation is starting with company founder and owner, Austin Ilsley. Describe what you do in a typical day or week in your company: My time is evenly split between sales and operations. In a typical week, I’m frequently meeting with my ops team to troubleshoot scheduling matters, monitoring production KPIs, and evaluating our systems to improve them. I also meet with our sales team weekly to finalize estimates, discuss prospecting strategies, and coach them on our selling systems. Meanwhile, I am also working closely with our leadership team to mentor our up-and-coming team members to build them into leaders. What makes you qualified to be an expert in your field? I have been a painter since I was 16 years old which would put me at 19 years in the painting industry with 10 of those years being the owner of my company. Tell us the most satisfying thing(s) about your job: The most satisfying part of my job is the leadership and people development. It’s the why behind what I do. There is no better feeling I get than from providing our team members with the coaching and support they need to grow as individuals and professionals. Describe a business challenge that you’ve encountered and solved: The trades industry has experienced staffing issues since the recession of 2008-2009 as there has been a mass exodus of skilled tradespeople. We often heard business owners say, “I can’t find any help” or “No one wants to work.” We knew this wasn’t true. We simply had to get creative in attracting quality people.
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Austin Ilsley started Ai Painting Plus in 2013. From the age of 16 he started working with other painting companies which gave him a solid foundation for performing the work and running a company dedicated to professionalism both with himself and his crew.
573-639-2343 | AIPAINTINGPLUS.COM
To do this, we developed a comprehensive training program and career ladder that attracted new people to our company and helped define our culture of growth and learning. Since then, we have not had to deal with the staffing issue other trades businesses have experienced. Feel free to list your educational and/ or training background: I graduated high school then obtained an associate degree from Moberly Area Community College. One year into my pursuit of a bachelor’s degree at Mizzou, my son was born, and my college days ended as I continued to paint, and I started Ai Painting Plus. Since then, I have been a self-taught entrepreneur. Tell us about your family: My wife and the company co-owner, Lacie Ilsley, and I have two kids — Aris, our 14-year-old son and Lilly, our 7-year-old daughter. We enjoy camping, sports, and playing music. We also love our three dogs and Maine coon cat. It does make it difficult to keep up with house cleaning, but we wouldn’t have it any other way. If I wasn’t in this business, I’d be ... I have a not so serious dream of owning a food truck that sells hot sandwiches. The food truck will be called “Leftovers” and
feature comfort foods in a grilled sandwich form. After every holiday — Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc. — I’d take the leftovers and assemble some pretty dang good sandwiches on the flat top griddle. How long have you been in the Columbia area? I am born and raised in Columbia and graduated from Hickman in 2007. When it comes to fun, I like to ... Take family camping trips, workout, play guitar and sing, and play golf. Is there a favorite quote or source of inspiration you’d like to share? My favorite quote is one I heard from our business coach. “Don’t let perfection get in the way of good and done.” I often can get caught up in the details of a project, wanting to finely polish every aspect of it, when in fact, I hinder myself by not hitting deadlines and overthinking things. My wife, especially, inspires me daily with her tenacity and grit. My employees are also a great source of inspiration to me. Watching them grow is the most satisfying part of my job. Seeing them overcome adversity and achieve their goals — personally and professionally — is truly inspiring.
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DIFFERENT PLANTS. DIFFERENT NEEDS.
WHAT THE
SHAUN HENRY
A Columbia native, Shaun Henry found a home at Atkins in 2000 when he started his career as a turf technician. Shaun holds a commercial applicator’s license through the Missouri Department of Agriculture and is a member of the National Association of Landscape Professionals, the Mid-America Green Industry Council, and the Missouri Green Industry Alliance. Shaun strongly believes in the importance of a great customer experience where the Atkins staff knows their clients and anticipates their needs accordingly. Shaun is an MU alumnus and has a degree in plant science.
Find more at AtkinsInc.com
T
Competition Between Similar Plants Any time two plants are growing close to one another, there is competition. They compete above ground for space, sunlight, and air movement and below ground for nutrition, water, and space. Two similar plants growing side by side will always be smaller than what they would be if grown alone. Both plants will be stunted due to this competition. Competition Between Different Plants Different plants have different needs, growth habits, and function. For example, grasses are typically full sun-loving plants, and ornamental trees and shrubs range from full sun to dense shade-loving. When growing different plants together, they too compete for resources (space, moisture, air, and nutrition). Sometimes the competition is too much for one of the plants and sometimes both.
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By Shaun Henry
hey say that opposites attract. I have found that in many cases that appears to be true. My better half and I are similar in some ways, but opposites in many others. She’s my person — has been for 35 years and will be for 35 more, so I guess the premise holds for us. This isn’t always the case for plants though.
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Grass vs Trees Very different plants. Very different needs. When grown together, the tree typically suffers the most. Grasses can pull moisture and mineral nutrients from the soil more vigorously. Trees that we find in our landscapes typically evolved in the forest amongst similar plants with plenty of moisture and nutrients and grasses were found in the prairies where it was typically dry and in the full sun. Growing these two plants together can often be difficult. So What Do You Do? Mulch can help. Not only will it add organic matter and moisture-holding capacity it will also create a physical barrier between the tree’s trunk and your mower deck and weed eater. Mulch also buffers the soil from extreme air temperature changes which can reduce root damage. Small shrubs, ground cover, and perennials can be planted around trees as well to create a separation between your turf and your trees. Have a professional complete a site evaluation and make note of issues you are
having with certain areas of your lawn and landscape or issues with specific plants. With this information, you can come up with potential solutions and figure out realistic expectations. Sometimes you just can’t grow your plant of choice where you would like to. Although the relationship between turf and trees can be difficult, it does not mean that they’re completely incompatible. Proper planning, plant selection, site selection, and maintenance practices can help both thrive and live a long happy life together. When it comes down to it, the lawn and landscape around your home is part of your living space and you want to make the most of it. Making plans for the growing season, taking proper care of your plants, and managing your turf to keep it all in good order will help foster a healthy relationship between your turf and trees and between you and your property. No matter if it’s cleaning up your landscape beds, managing your lawn, planting new trees, controlling your household pests, or even disinfecting surfaces at your place of work during flu and cold season, Atkins is the right place to call.
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COMMON ROOFING PROBLEMS FOUND DURING INSPECTIONS
COMO PREMIUM EXTERIORS
By Matt Novinger
A
well-maintained roof is more than just a shelter over our heads. It’s a shield that protects our homes and families from the harsh elements, ensuring comfort and safety day in, day out. However, like any other component of a house, it can encounter issues that, if left unaddressed, could lead to costly repairs or even replacement. That’s where the critical role of professional roof inspections comes in for helping detect potential problems early and keeping your roof in top shape.
Damaged or Missing Shingles Another common issue that a roof inspection can reveal is the presence of damaged or missing shingles. Factors like hail damage, wind damage, and structural damage can lead to the deterioration or absence of shingles, compromising the structural soundness of your roof. The roof becomes vulnerable to the elements, heightening the likelihood of water infiltration, and potentially expediting the degradation of the underlying roofing materials.
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CoMo Premium Exteriors is midMissouri’s largest roofing and exterior remodeling company. We believe in providing homeowners and business owners with free, honest inspections and advice to help them make informed decisions. We never use high pressure tactics because our goal is to build long-term relationships built on quality workmanship, great communications, and good cleanup when we’re done. If you need a new roof, gutters, siding, windows, or a deck; give us a call!
Find more at comoexteriors.com
Leaks and Water Damage Leaks and water damage are common yet potentially severe issues that can be unearthed during a roof inspection. When left unchecked, prolonged exposure to water can cause a gradual deterioration of wood, drywall, and other building materials, ultimately resulting in deformation, weakening, and potential structural failure. Such damage, if extensive, may even impact your insurance company’s coverage of the damage. Therefore, it is recommended to address roof leaks and water damage as promptly as possible to minimize the risk of further damage.
WHAT THE
(573) NEW-ROOF | comoexteriors.com
Homeowners should be vigilant for signs such as: • attic leaks • missing shingles • curling shingles • shingle cracks from hail These signs are indicators of damaged or missing shingles. If you find yourself facing these issues, professional roofing contractors can help address them and provide necessary repairs or replacements. Poor Ventilation Inadequate roof ventilation is a less obvious but equally significant issue that can be identified during a roof inspection. Poor ventilation may result in the accumulation of excessive moisture, which can permeate the roof decking, leading to deformation, sagging, and deterioration. These issues may not be visible at first glance but can cause severe damage over time. Roof inspectors identify poor ventilation issues by checking for signs like blocked vents, improper airflow, excessive moisture in the attic, and
obstructed roof soffits. To enhance inadequate roof ventilation, measures include installing intake vents such as soffit vents and adding roof vents like ridge vents or turbine vents to facilitate the escape of hot air. A professional roof inspection can help identify the need for these improvements. Whether you’re dealing with leaks, damaged shingles, or poor ventilation, remember that CoMo Premium Exteriors is always ready to be your partner in maintaining your roof’s integrity. Trust their professional services, warranties, and guarantees to keep your roof in the best shape for years to come.
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By Brendan Rost Find more at rostlandscaping.com
WHAT THE
HOME
PROS KNOW
Brendan Rost is a Columbia native and son of Rost Landscaping owners Tim and Toby Rost. He grew up playing at the garden center and nursery and has worked in all divisions of Rost Inc. Brendan received his degree in horticulture and design from MU and now works as a designer in the landscaping division. He thrives on building relationships and creating unique landscapes that complement their space.
W
hether you’re building, renovating, or looking at homes, the focal point on the front of your house is usually the front door. Your front door is a way to add a pop of color or a creative point of interest that enhances the appearance and functionality of your home. Like your front door, your driveway is the entrance to your property and a functional feature that sets the tone for the rest of the property. With driveways, there’s no better way to blend style and function than with pavers. Paver driveways have been around for decades but are less common than their poured concrete counterparts. In recent years, paver manufacturers have greatly improved their product lines of vehicular rated pavers to compliment any style of home. Whether your house is rustic or modern or somewhere in between, there are infinite product and design options available to make your home pop. Paver driveways do have a unique set of strengths that sets them apart from a poured concrete drive including: Durability and Ease of Repair There are two types of concrete: cracked and eventually cracked. When a concrete pad settles and cracks, the only options for repair are unsightly or require full replacement. Paver driveways are designed to last 50+ years and are easy to repair or replace damaged pieces. While concrete cracks when underlayment moves, pavers can flex and absorb many of these stresses. In the event of settling, repair is as simple as pulling up the affected area and adding additional base material to level the area.
(573) 445-4465 ROSTLANDSCAPING.COM
Paver Driveways Are Permeable Paver driveways can allow water to move through them which allows for better storm water management and faster drying than a concrete slab. This creates less runoff which reduces erosion and lessens the strain on other storm water management systems on the property. Distinctive Styles With the advancements in paver product lines it’s now realistic to tap into modern, contemporary, or rustic looks with paver systems from most major manufacturers. Driveways can be designed to be showstoppers or complimentary pieces
to your property in any hue needed to compliment the surrounding architecture. While more costly upfront, paver driveways outperform poured concrete in all other areas including durability, performance, water management, and especially aesthetics. For a project of this magnitude it’s essential to recruit the right team of designers and installers to pull it all together. Firsthand experience with material selection, installation, and maintenance goes a long way to pull together that showstopper quality feature. There is no better functional feature to distinguish your space than a paver driveway.
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We know planning your estate can be a daunting task. Let us assist you with your will or trust and powers of attorney. By getting these documents in place, you will:
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PERSONAL INJURY
Wedding P R E S E N T S
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Midway Golf & Games Tavern Hall Event Venue
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We will work with you to customize the color, scent, vessel, and label. Perfect for wedding decor or favors! Our candles are non-toxic and cruelty free: each ingredient and material used is cultivated or created ethically & cruelty-free.
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THE RELATIONSHIP ISSUE 2024
From the Editor
A Day to Rememb
A
fter spending the last two years planning my daughter’s wedding, I feel like a seasoned professional writing for this special wedding edition! And I am happy to say that we pulled off the wedding of a lifetime on October 7, 2023. From beginning to end, it was truly the most perfect, magical day. My biggest piece of advice is to try any way possible to work a wedding coordinator into your budget. (And I will take this opportunity to put in a plug for Ashley Minor with Delight Events. We could not have done this without her!) Having someone to refer all your questions to, having someone there to help creatively along the way, but most importantly, having someone there with you on the day of. I did not feel one single ounce of stress on the day of. I was able to sit and enjoy mimosas with my daughter and her friends while they did hair and makeup. I was able to walk into a fully decorated venue. I never had to worry about a timeline or making sure we were staying on track throughout the day. I never had to communicate with a single vendor. And the best part was, at the end of the night, we were able to leave the ruins at the end of the reception and continue to celebrate with our friends and family while Ashley, her team, and the Cooper’s Ridge staff did all of the cleanup! My next piece of advice is to find known and trusted vendors, and book them early! Unbeknownst to me, vendors’ schedules fi ll up very quickly. These vendors can make or break your day. We formed relationships with all our vendors, and I had all the faith in the world in them. It is fun to watch all the vendors work together. Ask for recommendations, ask questions, get to know your vendors ... sometimes it takes talking to a few to find the perfect fit. My daughter and son-in-law did several things throughout the day that
made the day extra special. Starting with private vows. Right after they did their fi rst look with each other, they read vows that they had each written to each other, when it was just the two of them. Then they did traditional vows during the ceremony. Another very special moment during the day for me was right before they were about to walk down the aisle. After all the guests were seated, we took a moment and gathered our family and the wedding party around Taylor and Zach and prayed over them. Praying for a lifetime of love and happiness. And lastly, at the end of the reception, we asked all guests to leave the venue, and Taylor and Zach had a private last dance together with just them — taking a moment together to reflect on the day and live in that moment. The day can get crazy, but it is so important to take those moments. You can find highlights from this magical day on pg 48. For anyone planning a wedding, this special wedding edition is for you. Find your tribe of people, take in the moments, and enjoy the ride! Cheers! Above: Kim with her
XO,
daughter, Taylor, on her wedding day. Opening photo: Coopers Ridge Event Venue.
KIM AMBRA, EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
Photos by Toni Wieberg Photography
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A VENUE TO
Rememb
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Weddings are des tined to be memorable. A s is true in real es tate, ‘location, location, location’ may be the three mos t impor tant element s of yours . BY MICHELLE TERHUNE
New Eden Studios
Lighter Focus
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t used to be that when a couple decided to marry, they booked a church and a venue to hold a reception. These days, they’re opting for beaches, foreign destinations, backyards, and barns. Wedding parties are sitting during the ceremony — if there’s a bridal party at all. Tuxedos have given way to suits. Cocktails precede a sit-down dinner. The first dances are being replaced by last dances. And although white bridal dresses have been a standard since Queen Victoria married Prince Albert in 1840, brides are wearing colorful accessories, floral patterns, pastels, and bright colors. What this all means is that couples are making their special day more about them and less about all the same traditions that have been prominent for centuries. To make that work, they’re looking for venues that give them the flexibility to make them their own, and the people who can help make their dreams a reali-
New Eden Studios
ty. Many duos have found precisely that at Cooper’s Ridge Event Venue. Opened in the summer of 2018, Cooper’s Ridge is owned by Sean and Kelly McCollegan and Jeff and Brandi Huebner. Brandi Huebner is involved in the dayto-day operations, as well as corporate bookings. Kristen Russell has a background in wedding planning and event coordination. After she toured Cooper’s Ridge with a client in July 2020, she joined the team as a part-time event manager. Today, she’s the venue’s general manager.
BEAUTIFUL SETTING FOR A WEDDING Cooper’s Ridge Event Venue sits on 38 acres of land off Highway 98, a short fifteen minutes west of Columbia. Across the road lies Warm Springs Ranch, Budweiser’s Clydesdale breeding facility. It’s quiet, rural, and picturesque.
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In addition to the 6,200 square foot event center, Cooper’s Ridge features an outdoor seating area with wooden benches facing a pond, a meadow, and a stage where couples are framed by a rustic wooden hexagonal arbor. There’s a covered outdoor patio and a fire pit area with seating. Some couples choose Cooper’s Ridge to split the distance between Kansas City and St. Louis for their nuptials. But most are from Columbia and the surrounding area, seeking the perfect setting for their perfect day. For them, the venue is closer than some think it is. “We’re not that far away, just halfway between Columbia and Boonville. It is a misconception we are working to overcome,” Brandi Huebner says.
IT’S ALL ABOUT THE COUPLE New Eden Studios
Bella Faith Photography
Cooper’s Ridge features a permanent, fully stocked bar staffed by experienced bartenders who can draw beer and create signature cocktails. You’ll see crystal chandeliers and swaths of fabric wrapped through wooden beams. It’s a setting that can be transformed according to the couple’s wishes, be it elegant, boho, classic, vintage, rustic, or anything else. “We are out on thirty-eight acres in a rural setting, but we definitely aren’t a barn venue,” Huebner says. “We worked really hard to make the space transitional so you can come in and have a more laid-back, rustic feel if that’s what you want. But if you want to have a vintage wedding or something more upscale, the space works as well. We focused on keeping a base aesthetic of modern rustic.” Indeed, one look through the wedding galleries that rotate on the Cooper’s Ridge website shows the variety of décor couples have used. That’s important because wedding trends are always changing. “Fall weddings are definitely the most popular now,” Russell says. “The boho style has probably been the most popular trend we’ve seen during the past couple of years. We’ve also seen couples striving for the timeless classic, black-and-white wedding with that look you can’t put a year on.” “Even if the overall aesthetic isn’t a trend, there are lots of trendy things happening within weddings,” Russell says. “You can see which types of vendors are becoming popular, like vintage rentals with vintage furniture and apothecary bottles. We’re seeing lots of fun vendors pop up, too, like cotton candy and food trucks.” She adds, “If nothing else, tradition is totally out the window. People are really making it their own. It’s all about the couple, their story, and what’s true to them.”
SIZE AND EXPERIENCE MATTERS The indoor venue at Cooper’s Ridge holds about 225 seated guests, although it can hold more for cocktail events. During the pandemic, the number of guests was small. Counts began to increase in 2021 and by 2022, Russell says weddings became quite large. They’ve tapered off Husband + Wife Photography 44
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New Eden Studios
somewhat in 2023, with most ranging from about 120 guests to 175. Huebner says the venue’s “sweet spot” is 150 to 175 guests. There are three packages couples can choose from, including one-, two-, and three-day events. Prices vary according to the day of the week and holiday events. But no matter when a wedding is scheduled, there’s a lot more than just an empty space included in the price. The rental fee includes event staffing, tables and chairs, set up, and clean up. But Cooper’s Ridge features two other great spaces for the couple and their wedding party. There’s the 1,200 squarefoot house on the property that has been converted to a bridal suite, plus the relatively new adjacent building called “The Coop.” That’s where the groom and groomsmen can get ready and hang out together before the ceremony. But it’s the aid and attention from the Cooper’s Ridge team that makes the difference. “We’re here to help our clients,” Huebner says. “Whether or not they are using a wedding coordinator, we just want to make sure the day’s running smoothly and according to plan. We’re going to make sure that everyone has a good experience when they’re here.”
A VENUE WITH AN EDGE The Cooper’s Ridge team hosted a goal-surpassing forty-nine weddings in 2023. Now, their goal is to hit sixty every year. Although that’s a lot of weddings for them, for most of their couples, it’s their
first and, they hope, the only one they’ll have. Huebner says the team is dedicated to making every wedding fabulous, which is why Cooper’s Ridge is always looking for ways to improve. “There aren’t many venues that sit on thirty-eight acres, especially near Columbia,” Huebner says. “We really pride ourselves on our customer service and level of involvement. And then there are the tools that we provide to clients to help keep everyone organized to help create a great event.” Those tools include an online, shared planning document the couple and the venue have access to from the time they sign the contract. The venue team meets with the couple just before the wedding to make sure all the boxes have been checked. For example, there’s an extremely detailed timeline that includes vendors, from booking through to what time they show up on the day of the event. The venue also provides a forty-page document that’s a helpful wedding planning tool for clients to use. Perhaps the commitment to go above and beyond is why Cooper’s Ridge was one of the five finalists for the Columbia Chamber of Commerce Small Business of the Year award. Couples are making their own traditions for their weddings these days. That means venues must be versatile enough to become whatever setting they choose for their big event. Cooper’s Ridge, sitting on the cusp of Columbia, is checking all the boxes for weddings that may last a few hours or a few days, but remain memories for a lifetime.
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Wedding Co dinat s:
T H E L I N C H PI N TO YO U R PE R F E CT DAY A great wedding coordinator helps make sure your special day is a dream — and not a nightmare. BY EMMI WEINER | PHOTOS BY NEW EDEN STUDIOS
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n engaged couple’s wedding day can be magical. For some, it is a day they have dreamed of since they were a child, with details carefully journaled and collaged over the years. But turning those collages and daydreams into reality is a daunting task in itself. From cultural traditions to personal taste, there are endless options and ideas. But balancing Pinterest board dreams with overbearing in-laws can leave nearlyweds dreading their special day. It’s a conundrum that event and wedding coordinator Ashley Minor helps brides and couples avoid and navigate. “There are so many minute details that people do not think of,” says Minor, owner of Deight Events. “Each question just leads to more questions. And what
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happens if they don’t have a wedding coordinator, they get to the day, and they’re like, ‘Oh my god, who’s cutting the cake, and then what are we doing with the cake?’ and then “Did anyone bring plates for the cake? And if we have all this cake leftover, who’s taking it?’ and are you freezing the top of the cake?” Th is isn’t new information. The trope of weddings being stressful is solidly in the cultural zeitgeist. But how can you make sure your wedding day won’t become a scary story to tell in the dark? A wedding coordinator.
WHEN IT’S TIME TO ASK FOR HELP It is not unusual for a person to get overwhelmed while planning a wed-
ding. The amount of decisions one must make is daunting and decision fatigue is real. Pair that with a stressful job or taking care of kids and a wedding starts to sound a lot less fun. “I think there’s a lot of things that do go overlooked but even on the day of, it’s like, ‘You know, do you want photos of this beautiful tablescape that you spend hundreds of dollars creating?’ And then your candles aren’t lit for a photo? Who’s gonna light those candles, blow them out, and then relight them for you later when the guests are actually there?” Minor explains. “It’s stuff like that that I can take care of so you don’t have to be pulled away from what you’re supposed to be doing, which is relaxing, enjoying your
friends, enjoying your family, getting your hair and makeup done.” Ideally, the journey starts with a wedding coordinator already on your team. Sometimes, it is a last-minute Hail Mary situation where an aunt said she would handle some things but it turns out she can’t. That’s how Minor got her start as a wedding coordinator. “My cousin was engaged. My aunt had asked me for help with one small part of the wedding. And then it morphed into, well, I kind of did like a total wedding takeover,” she adds in a moment of modest humility.
WHAT DO COORDINATORS EVEN DO? When it comes to inviting a wedding coordinator into your planning, it is important to know what they can do for you. Wedding coordinators can offer anything from turn-key ready planned packages to custom, elaborate plans from beginning to end. Wedding coordinators manage just about every situation that could arise and take care of factors that are often overlooked. “We manage budgets, we design, we make sure everything is going according to the timeline. We are working with other vendors as they’re coming and setting up. We are pinning boutonnieres on groomsmen,” Minor says, listing a litany of things she does on any given wedding day.
When it comes to those minute and burdensome details, wedding coordinators help ease bridal burdens by: • Dealing with vendors so you don’t have to. From the venue to the caterer to the flowers, picking the right vendors can make all the difference. Wedding coordinators have established relationships with these vendors, and in a city like Columbia, those established relationships are vital. Wedding coordinators can even hand-select vendors for brides to match their style and vision.
PICKING THE RIGHT COORDINATOR Now that you know what a wedding coordinator does, how do you go about making sure you found the right one for you? The most important things to consider are: • Your budget and guest list: Each wedding coordinator has different specialties. By having this information handy when starting your search, you will be more likely to find the best match for your needs. You do not need to have every detail planned, but an idea of how big and how much helps. • Personality match: Working with a coordinator who matches your vibes will save everyone loads of stress and
• Planning timelines so you can enjoy and not worry about making sure the DJ plays your fi rst dance at exactly 7:35. A wedding coordinator will provide a detailed timeline of what needs to happen and when it will happen. The wedding coordinator will make sure everything ends up in the right place at the right time, including you. • People management/emotional support: While some are blessed with a family that all gets along, others have less functional family dynamics. It’s a wedding coordinator’s task to make sure that you are having a great time. They will assist you with everything from making sure your body is situated in your outfit for pictures to making sure you aren’t bothered by overbearing relatives.
headaches. When you show up for your consultations, be authentic and candid. Be upfront about your needs and expectations around communication and vision. Finding the right coordinator will make your day all that more special and your memories will be about the most positive highlights instead of the hassle of trying to get all the aunties to light candles as guests are arriving at the reception. “There’s not much that happens at a wedding that we do not touch and I know that it’s the way that I make a living,” Minor says. “But I honestly do not know how people have weddings without professional help.”
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FEATURED WEDDING
1 0 .7. 2 3
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Taylor &Zach Hi
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VENDORS: VENUE: Cooper’s Ridge Event Venue @coopersridgeeventvenue COORDINATOR: Delight Events @delighteventsmo PHOTOGRAPHER: Toni Wieberg Photography @toniwiebergphotography FLORALS: Tiger Gardens @mutigergarden CATERING: Haller’s Homestyle Catering @hallershomestylecatering PHOTO BOOTH: Blue Diamond Events @ bluediamondeventsweddings LIGHTING & FIREWORKS: SW Productions @swprodesigns HAIR: MK Lush @mk.lush MAKEUP: Luxe Refinery Como @luxerefinerycomo DRESS: Gracie’s Bridal @graciesbridal DJ: DJ Shark Attack @djsharkattackcomo LIT LETTERS: Alpha Lit @alphalitmidmo
Would you like to see your wedding featured in COMO Magazine? Contact Kim@comocompanies.com
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Prep ing students f
Tiger Garden tracks and teaches floral trends. BY HANNA SOUTHER AND LESLEIGHAN KRAFT CRAVENS
A
re you ready to “wow!” wedding guests with bright seasonal summer blooms in centerpieces and arrangements that feature fruit? That’s right. Picture a themed wedding display of colorful corals, orange, and yellows, accented by lemons, grapefruits, and oranges. It’s a floral trend that Tiger Garden, the student-run florist at the University of Missouri, has added to its lineup of services and decor. Tiger Garden is a full-service floral shop that is part of the College of Agriculture, Food and Natural Resources (CAFNR). Tiger Garden opened in 2005 and offers an array of holiday
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decorating services, wreaths, garlands, trees, fresh centerpieces, and a seemingly endless variety of custom arrangements. Each step in the design and retail process, including marketing, customer relations, product development, orders, delivery, and set up are learning experiences for young creatives employed with Tiger Garden. (Tiger Garden averages about twenty student employees each school year.) What about the new colorful trend of combining floral and fruit — and vegetables? Tiger Garden keeps a keen eye on trends, the latest design styles, and new developments in the industry. The latest trend comes from the “what’s old is new” practice of designs heavily influenced by European tastes. The most evident from that old-is-new trend is the Della Robbins, a composition formed by the dominant use of fruit within wreaths, swags, or other arrangements. The style is named for Luco della Robbia (1399-1482) who created glazed terra-cotta reliefs of garlands of fruits and flowers.
COMO
The fusion of florals using fruits and vegetables is a unique combination that celebrates nature's bounty, bringing together the beauty of flowers and the lusciousness of fruits and vegetables supplying a variety of colors, textures, and patterns. Tiger Garden staff saw that trend in abundance at the annual American Institute of Floral Designers (AIFD) symposium, as well as in floral magazines and in designs around the world. Tiger Garden has applied the trend to several events. For instance, the bright citrus wedding of corals, orange, and yellows imbued with similar hues of fruit placed down the center of guest tables. Adding in simple clear bud vases can pop with bright seasonal summer blooms, with matching taper candles in modern glass cube holders to tie the tablescape together on top of coral cheese cloth runners.
WEDDING BUSINESS UPDATE
The colors are extra vibrant against crisp white linens in a beautiful outdoor green lush setting. Limes have also shined brighter in Tiger Garden’s designs for themed events. One setting used two vases that fit into each other with about an inch of space; sliced fruit was placed between the glass vases. Adding water to the center container and inserting fresh flowers creates such a sleek modern look, which is always a conversation starter. Mandarin oranges and tangerines took the stage at the COMO Magazine customer happy hour with fruit and florals strung in shades of orange draped from the ceiling, with large modern blue bottles hung between them. The exhibit created a dynamic display with contrasting colors and movement. Incorporating fruits and vegetables into arrangements is sure to add depth
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WEDDING BUSINESS UPDATE
and texture, and something unique. The trend invites us to appreciate the beauty of the natural world. Get ready to embrace the harvest, let your style bloom, and bring a touch of the garden into your next project. (Natural-themed trends affect all sorts of industries so keep an eye out for that cute beet pattern shirt or those cherry themed pants.) Tiger Garden’s expansion into the wedding and event industry in 2012 led to the creation of a smaller team of students who have an eye on entering that sector of the floral and wedding industry. The team helps create weddings and events locally and throughout Missouri offering fresh florals, custom balloon displays, plant and backdrop rentals, holiday decorating, plant maintenance, and event coordinating services. The floral artistry and management part of the program allows Tiger Garden to help educate students on five levels of floral design. Upon successful completion, students receive their certificate in floral artistry and management. The courses are Introduction to Floral Design, Everyday Floral Design, Special Occasion Floral Design, Wedding Floral Design, and Retail Floral Management. Along with these courses, the students also have an opportunity to join the Mizzou Student Chapter of the American Institute
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Students also have an opportunity to join the Mizzou Student Chapter of the American Institute of Floral Designers and may be able to participate in the largest floral design conference in the world and compete in competitions with other students from across the nation.
of Floral Designers, the student umbrella of AIFD. As a result, students may be able to participate in the largest floral design conference in the world and compete in competitions with other students from across the nation. Tiger Garden’s mission is to expand the educational process by combining traditional textbook learning with hands-on small business experience in an entrepreneurial environment. Tiger Garden works closely with the floral design program in the Division of Plant Sciences and other schools and colleges across campus to provide other learning experiences for students. TIGER GARDEN 2-34 Agriculture Building 573-884-1191 Monday through Friday, 9 a.m. to 4:30 p.m.
(573) 445-7040 mathnasium.com/columbiamo 3906 Peachtree Dr, Suite E Columbia MO 65203
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COMO
SPECIAL WEDDING SECTION
WEDDING CHECKLIST
12 mon s bef ee □ Set a budget □ Make a guest list □ Choose bridal party
8 mon s bef e □ Choose bridesmaid dresses
□ Decide style and theme □ Choose a venue □ Sample and select a caterer
7 mon s bef e □ Book rehearsal dinner
□ Choose color scheme □ Hire photographer & Videographer
□ Hire band or DJ
□ Choose music for
□ Order decorations □ Hire of ficiant
6 mon s bef e □ Book transport for guests
10 mon s bef e
□ Book transport for you
5 mon s bef e □ Book honeymoon
9 mon s bef e □ Buy wedding dress
□ Book or rent men’s tuxedos/suits
A N D M O S T I M P O R TA N T LY
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□ Hair & makeup trial
3 mon s bef e
□ Choose guest favors □ Write vows □ Select readings
2 mon s bef e □ Dress fitting
□ Send wedding invites □ Pick up marriage license
1 mon bef e
□ Assemble gif t bags □ Pay vendors in full □ Create seating chart □ Final meetings with venue/vendors
□ Final dress fitting
□ Send save the dates □ Book hotel rooms
□ Buy wedding bands
venue
ceremony
11 mon s bef e
□ Choose cake
□ Choose flowers/florist
□ Hire a wedding coordinator
4 mon s bef e
The night bef e
□ Eat a healthy meal □ Drink water □ Get a good night’s sleep
Enjoy Yo Day!
We offer a wedding without limits and a cherished experience you and your loved ones will always remember. EmersonFields.com
A wedding destination that feels like home.
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COMO
NONPROFIT SPOTLIGHT
Boundless Possibility Junior Achievement in Central Missouri helps cultivate confidence and fiscal responsibility in local youth. BY LO R I GA L A S K E
C
olumbia’s landscape of vibrant nonprofit organizations can be likened to a grove of trees growing in the background, spreading their branches and showering the ground with colorful leaves. Some aren’t as flamboyant or visible, but chop one down and its absence would be sorely felt with ripple effects on the community’s future. Junior Achievement (JA) fits that description. Though not as visible as some of Columbia’s 170-plus nonprofits as it functions in the background of life, JA’s presence and the work it does sends positive ripples throughout Columbia by empowering young people to be confident, to take charge of their lives, and to be creatively business-minded and fiscally responsible.
A MISSING LINK The year was 1919. Horace Moses was president of what is now Strathmore Paper Company and Theodore Vail had recently retired as president of the American Telephone and Telegraph Company (AT&T). Together these men along with Winthrop Crane, a career politician and business-
man, saw a disconnect between childhood education and the adult workforce in their home state of Massachusetts. Originally named the Boys’ and Girls’ Bureau of the Eastern States, Moses, Vail, and Crane founded the organization to educate the youth of their state in production and free enterprise. They saw unfulfi lled potential in young people and that this unfulfi lled potential existed, not because of general laziness, but because the youth simply had no one to cultivate that potential and bring it to fruition. According to a JA brochure, its “programs help young people make the connection between the classroom curriculum and life after graduation — by giving them additional tools and the confidence to be successful.”
Left: First Annual Photos With Santa & Mrs. Claus volunteers and Chamber Ambassadors in 2022. Right: EquipmentShare volunteers teaching 2nd Grade at Alpha Hart Lewis Elementary.
And so with a passion to help both the youth and the economy what we know today as Junior Achievement was born.
GROWTH The founders’ vision was for their state of Massachusetts, but Junior Achievement is now a worldwide organization; and while the founders’ focus was on high school-age students, the JA of today offers programs for pre-kindergarten through age twenty-five. Junior Achievement planted roots in St. Louis in 1943 and moved to Columbia some sixty years later. “It’s my dream job,” says district manager Morgan Dennehy, whose passion for JA led her to take a pay cut when offered the position. “It is nice to know that a company that I was so excited about and involved in as a high school student really is as wonderful as it felt back then.”
INDIVIDUALS JA SERVES Dennehy’s experience with Junior Achievement as a high schooler was pivotal. Growing up in a home of modest means, Dennehy’s involvement with JA during her
COMO
NONPROFIT SPOTLIGHT
Junior Achievement in Central Missouri M I SSI ON STAT EM E N T Empowering young people to own their own economic success.
B OA R D M E M B E R S
Morgan Dennhey (Junior Achievement in Central Missouri District Manger) singing the praises of Junior Achievement at the 2023 HBA Home Show in Jefferson City in February 2023.
• Julie Arnett, Central Bank • Michelle Baumstark, CPS • Molly Delgado, CPS • Morgan Dennehy, Junior Achievement Central MO • Ellen Dent, Callaway Bank (retired) • Kimberly Earnest, VU • Aaron Emel, Cost Cutters and Supercuts of Missouri • Dr. Tami Ensor, Westminster College • Tonya Keith, Simmons Bank • Debbie LaRue, Callaway Bank • Jay MacLellan, Shelter Insurance • Annette McClellan, Junior Achievement STL • Ryan Wiedmeyer, Bank of Missouri • Anne Williams, JobFinders • Dr. Brian Yearwood, CPS Superintendent
high school years gave her an education that schools don’t offer. It also gave her confidence to reach her goals, and it gave her hope for success. JA opened a door to her future that she didn’t know was there. According to the National Center for Education Statistics, the national dropout rate in 2021 was 5.2 percent, or about two million students neither graduated from high school nor earned their GED. In an independent study by Washington University, that percentage among the JA St. Louis alumni was 3 percent, and other metrics — such as graduating college, becoming an entrepreneur, and overall life satisfaction — also demonstrate the program’s success.
HOW IT WORKS The Junior Achievement that many might remember was an after-school program. Today it’s much more. Individual teachers who want to include the program in their classroom activities can contact Dennehy, who will pair that classroom with a volunteer who will come present the program. Each grade’s program consists of five, thirty-minute sessions. The schedule can be spread out over days, weeks, or months. “JA in A Day” is also an option where all five sessions are taught in one day. JA provides the materials, and the programs are offered free of charge. In addition to the in-school programs, all CPS fifth graders head to St. Louis for a
day at Finance Park and BizTown to learn monthly budgeting skills, understand the cost of living, and to challenge them to think critically and creatively. Students are given a unique life profi le (income, marital status, and so on). With their new adult persona, students must create a budget that includes housing, transportation, insurance, groceries, and more. They go to work and even vote for a mayor.
THE CHALLENGES Without the glitz and glamour of a marketing campaign (or even a marketing budget), the nonprofit relies solely on word-of-mouth to spread its message and to be invited into classrooms; and while JA reached several thousand students in the community last year, many more students haven’t experienced all the benefits of JA. The challenge it faces in COMO is for both classroom invitations and volunteers willing to go into the classrooms. More than one hundred years after three businessmen with a passion for empowering young people launched JA, the program continues to grow in Central Missouri and, especially, in Columbia.
JUNIOR ACHIEVEMENT IN CENTRAL MISSOURI 2501A Bernadette Dr. 314-502-9115 centralmissouri.ja.org
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‘That’s What She Said’ C O L U M B I A
2 0 2 4
Ticket sales help promote local maternal health initiatives. BY JODIE JACKSON JR
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T
he stage is set for Columbia’s second “That’s What She Said” event featuring ten women from the community taking the stage to share their stories of success, joy, hardship, and overcoming barriers. “That’s What She Said” Columbia, presented by Stephens College, takes place from 7-9 p.m. Saturday, April 13, at the Missouri Theatre, 203 S. Ninth St. “Th is is an evening for the entire community to come together and celebrate the contributions of women here in Columbia,” says show producer and director Allie Teagarden. “And you don’t have to be a woman to attend. All are welcome.” Last year’s show supported True North, a domestic and sexual violence victim service program. For the 2024 show, twenty-five percent of ticket sales revenue will go to support maternal health initiatives in Columbia, providing fi nancial and educational support to low-income women receiving prenatal and postpartum care at Booth Health and MU Health Care. “The maternal and infant health crisis in the U.S. is something I’ve been tracking for several years now,” Teagarden says. “Our concern is that health outcomes for those have been on the decline for many years. The U.S. ranks pretty low for infant and maternal health outcomes. In Missouri, the crisis is further exacerbated.” She cites “significant racial disparities” in maternal care and infant mortality, especially among Black women and infants. “We have a concrete opportunity to raise funds for these causes that are really significant,” Teagarden adds. Th is year’s speakers are Adonica Coleman, Augusta Cooper, Erica Dickson, Ranjana Hans, Elizabeth Herrera, Ellery Miller, Rebecca Miller, Jean Plumley, Stacie Pottinger, and Vicky Riback Wilson. Teagarden says the lineup showcases women with a wide range of life experience, personal stories, professional paths, ethnicity and culture, and age and diverse backgrounds. Each speaker will have seven minutes to share a story from life that may be funny, about overcoming challenges, or “a combination of emotions that all of us go through in life,” she explains. “They are personal, intimate stories.” Speakers are selected with the goal that each person attending can personally relate with at least one speaker’s story. 60
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“On the other end of the spectrum, folks have a chance to hear a unique perspective, to open their eyes to someone else’s experience, to develop empathy,” Teagarden adds. “I think it just makes our community stronger if we can at least come to a general understanding of others who have different life experiences or viewpoints.” Teagarden agreed that empathy seems in short supply, especially in post-COVID society. The voices gathered for “That’s What She Said” are crucial for “being able to come together and move forward in a positive way as a community,” she says. The She Said Project was founded in 2013 by three women in the Champaign-Urbana, Illinois area. “That’s What She Said” performances began there and have since spread to other Midwest cities, inspiring audiences through the stories of women. Teagarden said the founders were brainstorming ways to be sure their daughters were raised in a supportive community, and to combat what they saw as “women’s voices not being empowered in public ways.” The idea was to gather a group of local women and hand them a microphone, Teagarden says. “They thought it would be a one-time thing.” For those who are not familiar with the event, she describes it like this: “The show itself is a cross between a TED talk and the ‘Vagina Monologues’.” For those familiar with the phrase “That’s What She Said” — a favorite but degrading comment of Michael Scott, the awkward boss on the sitcom “The Office” — Teagarden says the event uses that phrase for good. “There is great power in hearing other peoples’ stories,” she adds, noting an unexpected experience after the 2023 inaugural event in Columbia. Teagarden heard from someone who had attended and “was going through some challenging times, and was just extremely encouraged by attending the show ... That real personal impact that speakers have on our audience, even months later, was really moving.” The speakers for the 2024 event are business owners, part of Columbia’s thriving music scene, and women working in education and advocacy in the non-profit sector. “These are women that are making an impact in their day to day lives, among
“This is an evening for the entire community to come together and celebrate the contributions of women here in Columbia, and you don’t have to be a woman to attend. All are welcome.” — ALLIE TEAGARDEN
Back row, left to right: Erica Dickson, Jean Plumley, Rebecca Miller, Elizabeth Herrera, Adonica Coleman, Stacie Pottinger. Front row, left to right: Barbie Banks (Stage Manager), Ellery Miller, Ranjana Hans, Augusta Cooper, Vicky Riback Wilson, and Allie Teagarden (Producer/Director). Sarah Jane Photography
2024 SPEAKERS: • ADONICA COLEMAN
professionals, families, their circle of friends — the community at large,” she says. Teagarden’s backstory includes eleven years in higher education, a career where she expected to be “stuck for the long haul” before facing a culmination of life changes. One of those moments happened gradually, as a “shift” that countless others encountered during COVID. “It made a lot of folks evaluate what they wanted to be doing,” she explains. “I transitioned out of higher ed and was looking to be more engaged with the community as a whole,” then moved to Columbia in 2019 and was already familiar with “That’s What She Said.” “The timing was just really perfect,” she says. “Certainly the mis-
sion of lifting women’s voices was a really easy sell for me. I’m also the mom of a daughter, so that’s certainly a motivating factor for me in doing this work.” Getting the business community and local women on board for the event has also been rewarding. “The business community in Columbia has been incredibly supportive since the beginning to make this a reality, to ensure the show can continue,” Teagarden notes. “I’m proud of the folks who have rallied behind this mission.” Tickets for the event are $40 and include a complimentary wine, beer, cider, or mocktail along with a sweet treat. Doors open at 6 p.m. and the show begins at 7 p.m.
• AUGUSTA COOPER • ERICA DICKSON • RANJANA HANS • ELIZABETH HERRERA • ELLERY MILLER • REBECCA MILLER • JEAN PLUMLEY • STACIE POTTINGER • VICKY RIBACK WILSON
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Transcending Titles for Growth BY BARBARA BUF FA LO E
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n January, we hosted the Columbia Values Diversity Celebration. It was lovely to see community members coming together to celebrate the teachings of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., and to honor the individuals and organizations in our community that put those teachings to work. This event reminded me of the importance of in-person interactions and real relationships, especially at a time when interactions on social media are increasingly polarizing. It is paramount that we recognize the relationships that enrich our work, lives, and communities. I am lucky to have an eclectic group of friends who enrich my life, provide me with opportunities to laugh, and love my children as if they were their own. As mayor, I’ve had the privilege of growing my network to include a myriad of diverse relationships that help me foster communication, productivity, and understanding. Since taking office, I have had the opportunity to develop meaningful relationships with business owners, social service providers, community activists, and members of local, state, and federal government. These are the people who I call when I need to better understand what is happening in our community. By fostering these real relationships, I have developed a network of people who are always willing to take my call to discuss an issue. They help me make informed, not “gut,” decisions. These relationships transcend titles and political affiliations and instead are grounded in a shared commitment to the well-being of Columbia. In many cases, I am meeting with people whose points of
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view or organizational goals do not align with my own. Take, for instance, Randy Minchew. Randy and I ran against each other in the 2022 election. Since the election, we’ve continued to have a relationship where we talk about local issues and potential solutions. By meeting face-toface, we identify shared concerns and a common purpose. These relationships help me gain insights that are missing from online interactions; meeting for a cup of coffee will always be more productive than reading someone’s posts on social media. While social media offers unprecedented connectivity, it can also perpetuate echo chambers and reinforce division. In contrast, face-to-face interactions foster dialogue and genuine connection. In Columbia, we’re lucky to live in a community where you can directly communicate with your elected officials. You can call, email, and schedule a meeting with me and other city council members. We’re approachable when attending events and we always welcome an invite to a meeting, event, or neighborhood potluck. In-person conversations with us are always more effective than posts on social media. Speaking of potlucks, several years ago, my neighborhood began hosting regular potlucks. These events allowed us to catch up on each others’ lives, not to complain about an issue. By building social capital, we became better prepared to discuss disagreements and more comfortable asking for help. Initiatives like neighborhood potlucks, community forums, and other local events provide opportunities for resi-
In Columbia, as in communities around the world, our collective resilience lies in our ability to bridge divides, embrace diversity, and nurture relationships that overcome boundaries. dents to engage authentically with one another. These platforms cultivate empathy, deepen understanding, and nurture relationships that transcend screens and hashtags. In Columbia, as in communities around the world, our collective resilience lies in our ability to bridge divides, embrace diversity, and nurture relationships that overcome boundaries. My journey as mayor has been enriched by the friendships I’ve formed with fellow community members. Through genuine communication and collaboration, we have tackled challenges and celebrated victories. I am proud of the work that I and the city have accomplished. I love where I live and am honored to serve where I love.
Barbara Buffaloe currently is serving her first term in office as the mayor of Columbia.
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The Tapestry of Relationship BY A DONICA COLEM A N
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ccording to the dictionary, a relationship is how two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected. In the earlier years of my life, the word “relationship” would immediately conjure images of romantic entanglements — who was dating whom, who was married to whom. However, as I navigate the journey of life, my understanding of relationships has evolved. It’s more than just choosing life partners; it’s about the intricate web of connections that define us. Our lives are interwoven with various relationships, some of our choosing and some chosen by the family we are born into. If we look deeper, these relationships become a mirror reflecting who we are. I am a wife, a mother, a daughter, a friend, a boss, and a community member — each role shaping a piece of my identity. Yet, each relationship demands time, commitment, and effort — precious resources not easily replenished. Ironically, the more relational we become, the scarcer these resources seem to be. Nurturing relationships requires a conscious effort — kind of like tending a garden, I imagine. It’s an investment that demands attention, care, and reciprocity. Much like any ecosystem, relationships
thrive on mutual nourishment. It’s a delicate balance — what you don’t feed will surely wither away. The question then arises: How do we navigate this delicate dance of building and maintaining relationships in a world where time is such a precious commodity? In my opinion, one of the most rewarding aspects of relationships is the depth and strength they can attain over time. A personal favorite is the kind of relationship built on a solid foundation, where one can spend quality time, step away, and return later to seamlessly pick up where it was left off. Th is phenomenon is particularly evident in my relationships with some of my closest girlfriends. These bonds, created in many of shared experiences, have weathered the test of time. The dynamics of these friendships have evolved — from spending all our time together during a particular season in life to now having only quick weekend visits a few times a year. Despite the physical distance and the passage of time, the essence of these relationships remains unchanged. It’s a testament to the enduring power of genuine connections. As the often-overused saying goes, it’s not the quantity of time spent together but the quality of the moments shared.
These enduring friendships have taught me that relationships are not static; they evolve, adapt, and withstand the trials of life. The key lies in nurturing the bonds that matter most, recognizing that the ebb and flow of life may alter the dynamics but not the core connection. Quality, it seems, trumps quantity in the realm of relationships … the threads that weave the intricate tapestry of our lives. They define who we are, shaping our identity through the roles we play in various spaces. While the demands of time, commitment, and effort can be daunting, the rewards of genuine connections are immeasurable. Like a well-tended garden, relationships flourish when nurtured with care and attention. Here’s to hoping we cherish the quality of our connections, savoring the richness they bring to the mosaic of our existence.
Adonica Coleman is the founder of The COMO 411 and owner of A2D Events.
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Online sextortion targeting teens is increasing at an alarming rate. BY J O D I E JAC KS O N J R
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he desperate and sometimes tragic stories of teens caught up in internet sextortion scams continue to play out nationally — and locally — at an alarming rate. Last year, an outgoing and athletic Michigan high school homecoming king died by suicide just six hours after receiving an Instagram message from who he thought was a teenage girl. The girl convinced the victim to send explicit photos of himself in exchange for similar, graphic photos of her. After he sent the requested photos, the “girl” turned out to be two Nigerian men who threatened to send the young man’s photos to his friends and family — unless he paid. Instead, after frantic and unsuccessful efforts to negotiate with the scammers, the teen put a gun to his head and pulled the trigger. “There are other kiddos who have done the same thing,” says Detective Tracy Perkins, who works with the Boone County Sheriff ’s Office Cyber Crimes Task Force. In December 2023, the Cyber Crimes
Task Force had 35 open cases, and half of them were related to online sextortion. The term refers to individuals — primarily children and young adolescents — who are solicited for explicit photos and videos of themselves and then blackmailed for money to keep the photos and videos from ending up in the hands of friends and family members. The FBI reported some 7,000 cases of sextortion in 2022. By the middle of 2023, that number had doubled. Perkins says law enforcement is certain that the cases are vastly underreported. An FBI news release in 2022 said the number that year was closer to 100,000 or higher. She adds that sextortion is not limited to underage victims. Adults and married partners have also been victimized. “Mostly it’s males who are victims of this kind of crime,” Perkins explains. “Kids are naive. When you have that naiveness and you have those hormones, it’s a recipe for disaster.”
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“What concerns me the most are those kids who are keeping that a secret, and their mental wellness. You’re not going to tell me they’re not thinking about that.” – DETECTIVE TRACY PERKINS, BOONE COUNTY SHERIFF’S OFFICE CYBER CRIMES TASK FORCE
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She also sees “a twist” that she expects will become more common among teen girls and young women. A Jefferson City teen was solicited by a male who offered to pay her to send him photos of her feet. The girl sent the photos; the money never came. “The content didn’t contain anything illegal, but it was obscene and embarrassing on her part,” Perkins says. “He started sextorting her and she was like, ‘Holy crap.’” Meanwhile, a detective in New York was working on a similar “feet pic” case and discovered that the suspect was a Columbia man who was sextorting other girls. “One girl in Iowa was paying big dollars to shut him up,” Perkins says. When those incidents reach the Cyber Crimes Task Force or other law enforcement, it’s usually because a victim’s parents discovered what happened. The secrecy that shrouds sextortion and other internet crimes such as enticement of a child and even child porn is the main reason the crimes are underreported, she adds. “When kids know they’ve been had, they either take their chances and don’t say anything — just let it go — or they pay the person maybe hundreds of dollars and never hear from that person again,” Perkins explains. It comes to a parent’s attention when the child eventually tells a parent or guardian, or the parent does their own internet sleuthing to discover what’s going on. “There are kids who are tough, they’re just like, ‘It doesn’t bother me. Who cares?’,” she says. “What concerns me the most are those kids who are keeping that a secret, and their mental wellness. You’re not going to tell me they’re not thinking about that.” The University of Missouri Police Department receives reports of sextortion and related internet crimes, but the department does not have a specific classification for those crimes. As a result, it’s difficult to report how many cases have been reported, says Hannah Wiscern, MUPD public information officer. MUPD works with various campus departments, including student affairs,
“to make sure that information on preventing and reporting sextortion is available to students,” Wiscern adds. There’s also a list of resources for students who report sextortion victimization as well as tips for staying safe online and what to do if a student is being exploited because of images that were sent to someone. The number of sextortion and related cyber crimes have increased significantly nationwide since the COVID pandemic, but Perkins isn’t sure why. Unfortunately, a lack of task force staff limits how much Perkins and her team can investigate. “We have to be really selective. We can’t go after everyone because we just don’t have enough manpower to do that,” she says. The Boone County Sheriff ’s Office Cyber Crimes Task Force was created in 2007 in response to the need to investigate computer related crimes, specifically crimes against children. The task force is a member of Missouri Internet Crime Against Children Task Force. The primary goal of the task force is to prevent victimization by cyber criminals and to educate citizens on preventive measures to protect them from cybercrimes. Perkins doesn’t mince words about where that education and prevention needs to start: At home with the child’s parents or guardian. Federal guidelines require children to be thirteen or older to access any social media account, yet Perkins is aware of children as young as eight who are allowed unfettered access to social media. “When you have an eight-year-old on social media — are you kidding?” she says. “What [parents] don’t realize is [their kids] are intermingling with adults. They don’t send a little eight-year-old to the mall and tell to hang out with adults. They know there are a lot of creepy people out there. So why do they let them get on social media to do the same thing?” Even well-intentioned parents who give their kids a cell phone to use for emergencies must set boundaries and expectations and install filters that limit or prohibit access to social media platforms. “Giving a ten-year-old a phone with no filtering or anything on it? It’s like giv-
ing them a loaded gun,” Perkins stresses. “There’s just so much that can be prevented by the parents, and what the child has full access to.” The task force sees a lot of reactive prevention — after the incident has occurred — rather than proactive prevention. “Parents need to have those awkward conversations with our kids,” she says. “It’s not a one-time conversation, but not every day because you’ll wear them out. But don’t think by telling them once you’ll think they know better.” Modeling healthy boundaries in relationships and making sure children know how to set boundaries are crucial skills, especially when it comes to social media and internet use, she adds. “It’s a lot of reiterating, talking about boundaries,” Perkins says. “You can tell kids all day, ‘Don’t talk to strangers,’ but they don’t care because they feel safe sitting on the other side of the screen thinking they won’t be touched.” The most common platforms for sextortion victimization are Instagram and Snapchat. Perkins says parents should learn about the screening apps available and be sure those are installed on a child’s social media and browsing apps. Parents should be prepared for new technology, new online trends, and the changing methods of cyber criminals. And expect to see more use of artificial intelligence in creating personas that a child might think is a real person. “It’s going to get crazy,” she adds. Meanwhile, there’s a good possibility that the criminals who victimized the Michigan football star will be prosecuted. Perkins said the Department of Homeland Security, which is becoming more involved in sextortion investigations, managed to track the internet provider address to geolocate the suspects in Nigeria. The men were arrested and extradited to the United States. “It’s very lucrative,” Perkins says. “These offenders take their chances. If you scammed fifty people and they give you $50, in a third world country, that’s a lot of money.”
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THE
PERFECT
MATCH Finding the right therapist for you. BY L AU R E N S A B L E FR E I M A N
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M
ental health is physical health, and from her vantage point as a licensed clinical social worker and owner of Affi nity Counseling, Tanya Weigand notices that therapy has become a lot more mainstream in today’s post-COVID environment. As more people embrace the concept of therapy, how do they know they’ve found the right therapist? How does a productive professional relationship with a therapist look and feel? “Trust your intuition,” Weigand says. “If you can’t get honest with that person and tell them what’s bothering you deep down, you won’t get those bigger results you’re wanting.”
Finding the Right Fit Weigand explains that a relationship with a therapist is not a lifetime commitment. “It’s okay to shop around until you feel like a therapist is a good fit,” Weigand says. “Therapy is heavily weighted onto that relationship — to feel like you’re validated.” Like any other relationship, the fi rst meeting is important and revealing as a chance for both parties to get to know each other and determine whether it will be a good fit. “I consider the first meeting an interview to ensure that you have the right fit,” says Dr. Christine Woods, Ph.D., a licensed clinical social worker and owner of Crowned Counseling. “In the first meeting, it is not just the thera-
pist interviewing you, but you’re interviewing the therapist to see what their areas of expertise are, to see if you connect with them in some way. You have the right to ask questions just as the therapist has the right.” While some therapists focus their practice on specialties like substance use intervention, children, adolescents, couples, or trauma therapy, others provide therapy rooted in faith or are trained in different modalities like dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) or eye movement desensitization and reprocessing therapy (EMDR). Does a therapist have experience with the issues you want to discuss? Are they familiar with different resources, coping skills, or strategies that may be helpful for that particular issue? Can they help you reach your goals? “Whatever your goals are, you want someone who is not going to tell you everything you want to hear, and will gently push you to do the work on your end that needs to be done,” Weigand says. “If you don’t have that goal identified, a good therapist will help you figure that out.” While primary care physicians, school psychologists, and other healthcare professionals are often a good place to get referrals for trusted therapists, there are many online resources for locating a therapist with the experience and qualifications you are seeking. “There’s Psychology Today, Therapy for Black Girls, and a number of other websites that you can Google to bring up a therapist,” Woods says.
“If you can’t get honest with that person and tell them what’s bothering you deep down, you won’t get those bigger results you’re wanting.” — TANYA WEIGAND
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“ I consider the first meeting an interview to ensure that you have the right fit. In the first meeting, it is not just the therapist interviewing you, but you’re interviewing the therapist to see what their areas of expertise are, to see if you connect with them in some way ...” – DR. CHRISTINE WOODS
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In addition to finding a therapist with experience in the areas that apply to you, Woods says finding a therapist who understands you can also be key to forming a strong relationship. “Research shows that we do better when there is someone who looks like us, so it might be important to find a therapist of color,” Woods says. “Does that always have to be the case? It almost can’t be the case because there are so few therapists of color. But I believe that anyone can help if they have the right credentials and they have the cultural competence to relate to people.”
Doing the Hard Work Once you’ve selected a provider with the relevant expertise and qualifications, how can you judge whether that provider is the right one for you? “Connection feels like being comfortable in a space, feeling like the therapist is attuned to what you’re saying, feeling like you’re seen in a space — like nobody is just tolerating you or looking at a time clock,” Woods says. “Finding a professional connection is finding someone who can help me through this tough time, someone who can tell me what might be the best approach. You can show up authentically yourself and they can understand where you are and you’re not being judged.” Finding connection does not mean that your therapist always agrees with you or tells you what you want to hear. In fact, a good therapist might still challenge your thoughts and actions, but that needs to happen within the context of a positive relationship. “You might still get challenged, there might be hard things to hear, but the therapist is giving hope and giving strategies and helping to move past hard things,” Weigand says. “Being challenged is okay if you feel positive about therapy, if you feel like you’re safe and being heard.”
Accessing Care With COVID, many were forced to transition to virtual therapy visits — also called teletherapy — as in-person visits weren’t an option. Today, virtual therapy visits have proven to be a valuable tool for making therapy more available and accessible.
While the fear of walking past a secretary or waiting in a waiting room may have kept people away from therapy, those barriers are removed with virtual sessions. Virtual sessions can also be easier to schedule into an already busy day. “Telehealth has been a good option for convenience,” Weigand says. “You can log in on a lunch break without having to drive anywhere, and that has helped with gaining access as well.” While time can certainly be a barrier for many, Weigand says that taking the time to improve yourself can pay off. “With full-time jobs and other responsibilities, people can feel that it is too hard to do therapy, but what I’m finding is that by taking these steps, it alleviates some of these issues, makes them feel like they have more time or are more productive during the time they have,” Weigand says.
One Size Does Not Fit All A therapist who is right for one may not be right for another, because therapy is about people connecting with people. When it comes to therapy, there is not a one-size-fits-all solution. “I’m a big believer in you have to pick what works for you,” Weigand says. “What’s comfortable for you, what therapist feels right for you, and that need might be different for different people.” While a relationship with a therapist, much like any relationship, is built over time, both Weigand and Woods say it is important to remember that choosing a therapist is not a lifetime commitment. “It’s okay to switch therapists,” Weigand says. “You may get to a different stage of your life and want to hear a perspective from a new therapist, and that’s okay to do, too. It doesn’t have to be this lifelong commitment if you don’t want it to be.” There may also come a time when you’ve learned the necessary strategies and reflected on the issues you wanted to focus on, and the relationship with a therapist naturally comes to an end. “There can be a natural termination where the person has the tools they need to continue in their journey on their own,” Woods says. “A natural ending to therapy relationship; those are the ones that you want.”
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Work Hard, Play Harder! Maintaining healthy work relationships is vital to success. Twice a year we fly in our remote employees and spend a few days connecting with each other, checking in on our goals and progress, eating lots of good foods, drinking lots of good drinks, and simply taking a couple of days to slow down, reconnect, and enjoy each other’s company. Cheers from all of us at The COMO Companies!
Our editor-in-chief, Kim Ambra, was accepted into the Leadership Columbia Class of 2024 and recently had the opportunity of a lifetime at Columbia Regional Airport.
“I’ll be adding pilot to my resume!” KIM AM B R A
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