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Selected Moments from a love affair with music by Ben E. Campbell ** The Neil Young phase. Neil Young’s “Sugar Mountain” on the drive up to the grounds, state hospital grounds, set high up on the hill. Interning on the psych floor. “Oh to live on Sugar Mountain, With the barkers and the colored balloons.” Some days wondering how crazy I am myself. I steal Christmas trees, drink too much, and listen to the Doors. Am I the next in line? Make it through it all: the stares, the cries of tormented anguish, then drive back off the hill. “Oh to live on….” I find a darkened bar and lose myself in thought, in Neil Young in my head phones. Neil Young’s “Fuckin’ Up” as I pull myself from bed. Sixteen-beer hangover. Thick tongue set loose inside my mouth. Is that a chipped tooth I feel? “Why do I keep fuckin’ up?” roaring off the swaying walls. A scene comes rushing to my mind: me tossing a lawn chair in the yard. “Call the fucking police—see if I care!” I screamed. I walk on through the house. Back door open, lights still on, the smell of built-up gas —a stove eye blazing. Neil Young sings “Comatose but walking still” as I turn a sharpened corner. “Don’t light it!” I yell. A friend perched on the couch, cigar in his lips, red lighter at his mouth. No need to cut this journey short. There’s more fuckin’ up to be done on down the road. Neil Young’s “Rockin’ in the Free World” on a late-night, mid-week drive. Convertible Wrangler. The sky a sea of stars. No place to park my thoughts. No need to park my thoughts. Let them float free now. I mean, really float free. No worries of the future. No need to search for love. You’re never truly free till you’re free from your own self. And it was Neil who took me there.

Profile for Burner Magazine

Burner Magazine: The MUSIC Issue  

On March 1, 2011, Burner Magazine is excited to unveil Burner 03: The Music Issue, with editorials and features of Yoko Ono, Saul Williams,...

Burner Magazine: The MUSIC Issue  

On March 1, 2011, Burner Magazine is excited to unveil Burner 03: The Music Issue, with editorials and features of Yoko Ono, Saul Williams,...

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