important that each member of the team is very supportive of the other – it does not take long for team members to discover one another’s weaknesses and character flaws. Unregenerate human nature loves to point out the faults and failings of others (it makes us feel better about our own shortcomings.) One of the greatest human needs after safety and provision of food and shelter is the need to belong or to feel part of a group. Marriage is supposed to meet this need because in society you are seen as a couple, but when criticism and negative perceptions of one another are the norm, this need will not be met, in fact, either one or both spouses will feel inferior (not good enough) or rejected. Often this is a way of reinforcing negative selfperceptions that go back to our childhood when we were told that we were not good enough or would never amount to anything. We need to encourage one another’s good qualities and verbally
affirm one another, not only in private, but also in public. Never make jokes at your partner’s expense, especially not in front of friends and relatives. Always speak positively and lovingly of one another when talking to others about your partner, especially if you are getting negative feedback from the other party. This kind of thing often happens with: 1. mothers who think the man their daughter married is really not good enough for her or friends who “only want the best for you” and are certain that your husband is not the best – don’t reinforce this negativity, confirm the fact that you believe that God put you together and you will do great things as a team in God’s kingdom. It usually will not take them long to get the message that you will not be influenced by them. 2. Teenagers who think they have a right to judge their parents and use their Jul/Aug 2015 Brides Essence Magazine
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