Don’t Go Your Own Way

Don’t Go Your Own Way

By Karissa Hagemeister-Irani

The story of Jonah is a great reminder for us to listen carefully and follow God’s direction closely. I know I would not want to be swallowed by a big fish just because I did not obey God. Unfortunately, I think we all experience a season or two in life when we decide to go our own way and do not listen to the voice and direction of God. We all experience punishment for sinning against him, even if it does not involve a fish.

I can recall a few times in my life when I thought I would do what I WANTED instead of what I knew God wanted me to do. It is silly if you think about it because we know from the Bible stories and even from personal experience that going against God is never a good idea.

I also know from personal experience that sometimes we feel we have a right to do it the way we want. We deserve it or it is owed to us somehow. Jonah felt he was right in not following God’s direction to go to Ninevah because he knew that God would allow the people to repent of their ways and turn to them.

When I was a young girl, I had a lot of anger in my heart and much unforgiveness towards the man that my mom married after my father and her divorced. I did not like him and I knew that there was something very wrong with him. Even though that was true, it did not give me a right to hold onto unforgiveness. I knew that I was displeasing God by doing so but I just could not get rid of it. Seeing the man made me boil with anger and the anger eventually turned to hatred.

That hatred then turned inwards. As I continued to hate him, I began hating my life and eventually hating myself. I wanted my life to be over so badly when I was a teenager. I could not handle all the hate and anger inside of myself. Then depression set in. I was trapped by my own undoing. I chose to hold onto things that God clearly tells us to release to him and as a result I was hitting the self-destruct button on my own life. That was a very long season of my life, at least 15 years that I lived inside the consequences of my own bad choices. I wish I could go back and teach myself as a young child to let it go and surrender all the pain to God. But I had to go through that so that I can warn others about the danger of falling into that trap.

You may feel that you deserve to hold onto the anger and hatred but I am telling you that it is not worth it. For your own sake stop! Please do not take the same road I did. It is long and painful and the way out is not easy either. If only I had been eaten by a fish and learned my lesson in his belly. But no, I spent years locked in the tower of my mind. Tortured by fear, hate, depression and lies. Don’t make my mistake. Be wise and follow God’s leading for your life.