INSPIRED senior living magazine
MAY 2017
A PURPOSEDRIVEN WORK LIFE WHEN MUSIC IS THE MEDICINE WHAT MAKES DANES THE WORLD’S HAPPIEST PEOPLE?
THE SUNSHINE CLOWNS
Inspiration for peopleWWW.SENIORLIVINGMAG.COM over 55 • www.seniorlivingmag.com
MAY 2017
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L to R: Andrea Tang, Principal, and Robyn Walle, Manager
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content
editor’s desk
MAY 2017
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The Best Medicine by John Kelly A Sense of Purpose by Kiana Karimkhani Legacy Giving by Amber Adams Angel for a Day by Kate Robertson When Music is the Medicine by Catherine Gilbert Three-Minute Stories by Lauren P. MacLellan Tips and Tools to Deal with Ageism by Richard B. Johnson Sharing Family Stories by Diane Salter
FASHION 24 TRAVEL 30 COURAGEOUS & OUTRAGEOUS THE FAMILY CAREGIVER 34 MARKETPLACE 35 FOREVER FIT 36 Cover
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THE SUNSHINE CLOWN BAND
This troupe is making clowning cool – and compassionate. Clockwise: Ann Sorensen, Phyllis McGee, Jim Ricks, Amanda Ricks and Scott Smith Photo by Sean Doe
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The elders of our society tend to make up the majority of philanthropic donors (more disposable income) and charity volunteers (more free time). They’re also the purveyors of our narrative histories – the ones we listened to most attentively as we huddled around campfires during our infancy as a species. Their treasures are knowledge and experience; in passing them on, they enrich the lives of those who follow. My dad’s a prolific storyteller. A fervent reader, he has accumulated a mountain of facts and trivia – largely of the old-Hollywood variety – that would take a lifetime to climb. Occasionally referred to as a bulls**t artist (by me mostly), he possesses the natural gift of delivery. Every family gathering is replete with laughter spawned by tales told with just enough embellishment to make them interesting, but not so much as to render them implausible. As a wide-eyed kid, I’d often wander away wondering if what I’d heard was real or make believe (he still loves to keep me guessing). Our personalities and innate quirks shape the stories we hear – even before we hear them. Case in point: godmothers featured heavily in fairy tales when I was growing up. While religion played no role in my life, I wanted one because, you know, Cinderella had one! When I asked my dad who mine was, he answered without a moment’s hesitation: “Anne Murray.” I believed him because I wanted to believe him! He also told me if I got straight As in school, we could get a swimming pool. Whether that was true or plucked from the slopes of Bulls**t Mountain, I’ll never know. Neither scenario ever played out. Family storytellers leave an indelible legacy. Their stories inform future generations and collectively create the backbone of family dynamics. They often ignite our first spark of imagination and offer a wealth of invaluable (if somewhat unreliable) life lessons. It’s uncanny that I can talk to my sister about a shared childhood experience and discover our contradictory recollections, confounding my lifelong examination of what’s real and what isn’t. I suppose the only honest answer is “it depends.” Maybe I should ask my godmother for her version of the truth... |
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No portion of this publication may be reproduced in whole or in part without written permission from the publisher. INSPIRED Senior Living is an independent publication and its articles imply no endorsement of any products or services. The views expressed herein are not necessarily those of the publisher. Advertisers and advertising agencies assume liability for compliance with all copyright laws related to materials they submit for publication. INSPIRED Senior Living is distributed free throughout British Columbia by Stratis Publishing Ltd. 12 issues per year. ISSN 17103584 (Print) ISSN 1911-6403 (Online)
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THE BEST MEDICINE by JOHN KELLY “The humanity of relationships is the basis of a clown’s existence.” –Scott Smith Our first experience with clowns is usually a good one that makes us happy, even if we’re too young to know why. But like many relationships, it sometimes sours over time: “They’re just a bunch of clowns”; “Stop clowning around”. These are the pejoratives we hear when one is not toeing the line, pulling their weight or cutting muster. Clowns become synonymous with the lesser. And today, in many circles, the good name of clowning is being dragged through the mud. Frankly, it’s a circus. But on Canada’s west coast there is a troupe that not only works to rehabilitate the art form and resurrected a grand tradition, but puts smiles on the faces of everyone to whom they bring their passion. Victoria, BC’s Sunshine Clown Band is making clowning cool and compassionate. The Sunshine Clown Band’s founding members, Scott Smith, Jim Ricks and his daughter, Amanda, had their first performance in May 2008 during the annual volunteer appreciation party at Victoria General Hospital. Today, the non-profit society has just finished donating a year of clowning to the hospital’s pediatric unit, entertained at community events like Epilepsy Awareness Day and Do It for Dad Father’s Day Runs, and performed at Saanich’s Music in the Park summer events. But the mostly senior all-volunteer members’ main gigs are bi-weekly compassionate clowning visits to the Victoria area’s senior residences. If you think it’s all giving, think again. There is a genuine
LEFT TOP | left to right, Scott Smith as Stretch, Amanda Ricks as Goldie, Rebecca Ataya Lang as Ruby and Jim Ricks as Bungle. Photo: Russ Smith LEFT BOTTOM | Jan Streader as ZuZu. Photo: Dave Olecko/Red Deer Advocate
symbiosis between members of the troupe and the seniors they meet. “The courage and grace [senior residents] show in coming to terms with this phase of their life, the appreciation and playfulness, the willingness to share their stories and feelings; the clowns go with open hearts and are consistently met in kind,” says Scott, a retired early childhood educator and admitted class clown. In the early days for Scott there were mime lessons, participation in a children’s theatre company, and even a Rent-A-Joke stand with a 100% satisfaction or money-back guarantee, but it wasn’t until retirement in 2008 that he set out in earnest to do more clowning. Amanda Ricks is a registered drama therapist and has worked in mental health for years. As part of an undergraduate degree, she did a clown show tour through schools and clowned professionally for festivals. She echoes Scott’s sentiment: “It is a wonderful feeling to connect on a deeper level with people who are sick or in pain and, in some cases, dying. For a brief time, there is none of that and we are united, lost in the moment of play. That is the best feeling in the world.” Amanda’s father, Jim, a one-time Oklahoma disc jockey believes, “all of us are moved by care clowning and love to see the positive effects it has on seniors and their families.” There’s your apple-falling-right-next-to-the-tree moment. Jim eventually moved on from spinning wax in the Sooner State to becoming a psychologist with frequent stops in the television and radio industries along the way. Retired from his practice, he now works with seniors in developing fitness and improving mental health. Oh, he’ll also dust off his fiddle and play some old-time country tunes, if you ask nicely. Phyllis McGee, a self-confessed “good girl” and rule observer, had always operated under the constraints of societal conventions. A former researcher at UVic’s Institute on Aging & Lifelong Health, retirement “work” had two conditions: it needed to be fun;
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and it needed to be meaningful. “Both my greatest hurdle and my greatest joy have been breaking free of all the constraints I have lived with my whole life. Clowning allows me to drop all the restraints, discover and let the playful part of me come out and shine. I have never known such joy and freedom – until now. Care clowning is a true gift in my life!” A favourite memory for Phyllis is when they sang “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” to a woman with dementia and the baby doll she was cradling. If the profound compassion and human connection wrapped up in that image doesn’t give you a chill, you’re not wired up right. Meaningful and fun boxes ticked. Ann Sorensen worked for 26 years at The Queen Alexandra Centre for Children’s Health and has been a Sunshine Clown member for three years. She leapt at the opportunity to work in therapeutic clowning. The poignant moments of connection with another are what touch her most deeply.
“One man told me his lifelong dream had been to fly a plane, and he’d never attained it. So, I started singing “Fly Me to the Moon,” and his eyes teared up, and he held on to my hands so tightly, smiling through his tears. It was a powerful connection for both of us.” The deep and healing connection with another is not always easily accessed, and the Sunshine Clowns make certain they give themselves and audience members every opportunity to bond organically at a pace that is comfortable for everyone. “We bear little resemblance to circus clowns that have been used in a grotesque form in horror films to terrify people,” says Ann. “Some performing clowns can be very loud and ‘in your face.’ We are quite the opposite. We ask permission before entering someone’s space, and let them direct the interaction through offering choices. We do wear red noses (the smallest mask), and each clown character has their own style.” Scott adds, “To further reduce the possibility of confusion
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A SENSE OF PURPOSE by KIANA KARIMKHANI A Change of Mind is a Victoria-made documentary that centres on the body’s most complex organ, more delicate than a ripened peach: the brain. It uncovers the hidden epidemic of brain injury in which countless people are going unseen and undiagnosed. Sufferers are the walking wounded: impaired, often isolated from society because of their uncontrollable behaviour, and likely unaware of the source. The documentary gives a voice to the survivors, like narrator Derrick Forsyth, whose intricate journey is laid bare. Highlighted are the organizations and new approaches that are helping those who are injured, but the film also outlines the lack of support that’s prevalent for sufferers: from the broader scope of society to family and friends, who are unable to relate to their loved one’s struggle. Hilary Pryor, director of the film, was in a board meeting for the Cridge Centre for the Family when the manager for brain injury services made a presentation that detailed extraordinary statistics. The rate of suicide increases four 10 8
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times after a brain injury; 95 per cent of marriages fail after a spouse develops a brain injury; 53 per cent of homeless people have a brain injury. Hilary was blown away by the figures and felt compelled to get the information to others who might be unaware of the effects. “In the media, there has been a lot about brain injury in terms of concussions and the sports-related aspect, but not much was being said about these very profound impacts,” she says. As the founder of local production company, May Street Productions, she immediately had a film in mind. “I did a bunch of research on my own first – Googling, speaking with experts, and reading a lot,” she says, emphati-
ABOVE | Director Hilary Pryor transitioned from a social worker to a film maker in 1979 through grants for non-profit organizations. Photo: David Malysheff RIGHT | Movie poster for A Change of Mind featuring Derrick.
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cally. “I wanted to have all of the facts at my fingertips before writing a proposal.” Hilary submitted her considered proposal to The Telus Fund, who initially financed the development of the project, and then the entire production. She says the film took longer than expected to complete, estimating the process to be around two-and-a-half years. However, this extended filming period ended up being advantageous, as it allowed for real change to be shown in the film’s main character, Derrick. An unexpected result of his prominence in the documentary is that Derrick was introduced to Prince William during his recent visit to Canada. When asked what information she uncovered that surprised her most, Hilary pointed to the extreme fatigue that’s attached to brain injury. “The brain actually uses about 70 per cent of our caloric intake, so when it’s trying to heal itself, it’s absolutely exhausting,” she says. It’s that kind of tiredness that can make sufferers hit a wall. “Understanding that exhaustion for family and professionals working with brain injury is very important.” A significant influence for brain health, particularly for seniors, is exercise. Getting the heart pumping and blood circulating creates new brain cells, she says.
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Hilary, 69, came to Canada with her then husband and children in 1974, educated as a social worker in England. She transitioned into making film in 1979 through grants for non-profit organizations. As a teenager, she had studied theatre with the National Youth Theatre in London, so the evolution of combining social activism with the arts was natural. In 1987, she was invited by educational networks to attend the prestigious Banff World Television Festival and make a presentation about her work. “My focus was on children’s programs, at the time, but as I worked my way up, I thought, ‘Oh my goodness, this is a business, and I should form a company.’” Decades later, May Street Productions is an award-winning producer of television with substance. The company’s mantra (outlined on their website MayStreet.ca) is to produce television with integrity and to tell stories about people and experiences that encourage community. A Change of Mind fits perfectly into that mould for inspiring social change. One innovative outcome that’s spawned from the film’s research is the development of the Head Start App, a treatment tool created for brain injury survivors. It’s the only app that’s able to provide brain-injured individuals and their caregivers with a rehabilitation aid that helps with scheduling. If someone suspects they have a brain injury, going to a
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doctor would be the recommended first step. However, Hilary says, if you feel like you’re not getting enough help or being heard, go to a brain injury association, which has the resources to guide you in the right direction. Despite getting older, Hilary has kept pace with the notoriously rigorous schedule of film shoots. “To be honest, I’m still working 60-hour weeks,” she says. “I’m not really actively pursuing the projects, they just seem to come and, as long as there are projects I feel are important, I’ll keep going until I drop.” Whether the project is a hard-hitting social documentary or lighter fare, she says the material has got to be, in some way, positive. One may not have the tools or desire to make a film like Hilary did, but taking social action on a local level is something everyone can do. “In my series The Pursuit of Longevity, I found that the main key to living a long and healthy life was having a sense of purpose,” says Hilary. “Having a purpose in either a family or in society is huge. You want to add years to your life? Go help somebody else.” Hilary suggests that if you have something you’re passionate about but don’t know how to help, go to the frontline workers and see what they need. Educating oneself about a topic is as easy as a click of a button or as convenient as watching a movie. | To view A Change of Mind for a small fee, visit the film’s website online at www.changeofmind.ca
Your legacy. His life. Please leave a gift in your Will.
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Where will our skilled nurses come from? Camosun College trains hundreds of nurses, front-line mental health workers, caregivers, lab and dental technicians every year. When you leave a planned gift to Camosun College, you’re creating healthy, prosperous communities for us all. • •
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Make a gift of lasting change.
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WIldlIfe legaCIes If you are interested in making a living Will or leaving a legacy in your Will to North Island Wildlife Recovery Association, please email us at wildlife@niwra.org for a brochure & video.
We provide care to critically sick, injured and orphaned wildlife such as eagles, owls, song birds and black bears. Help care for these animals by partnering with us through your legacy gift or donation.
THEY DEPEND ON US, AND WE DEPEND ON YOU...
THaNK YOU fOR YOUR sUPPORT!
North Island Wildlife Recovery Centre 250-248-8543 Box 364, 1240 Leffler Road Errington, BC
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LEGACY GIVING by AMBER ADAMS “I have some money I want to give to my favourite charity. How do I do it?� is a question donors often ask me. Well, besides making donations to your charity, there are many easy ways to make a Legacy gift that can profoundly support the causes you love well into the future. Let me give you some examples: A Planned or Legacy Gift is really a gift of any size to a charity that has an element of planning involved in accomplishing the act of giving. These gifts are not as simple as signing a cheque or handing over cash, however, they are not as complicated as one may think. The three easiest planned gifts to a charity are a bequest, a gift of life insurance and a gift of stock/securities. A bequest (a gift in a will) is the most common planned gift, sometimes referred to as a Legacy Gift. Leaving a bequest to your favourite charity will ensure that a cause that was important to you in your life will continue to prosper after your death. There are a few different ways to donate a portion of your estate. One is to designate a specific amount to the charity and the other is to leave a percentage of your estate. One of the first things to do when making the decision to leave a bequest to a charity is to call them and ask for information. Any estate planning you discuss with a charity is confidential and you are under no financial obligation, however, you do want to be sure you have their correct name and specific will wording for your lawyer or legal representative. Also, remember a bequest is for anyone, regardless of finances, and any charity would be honoured to be a part of your legacy plans. Life insurance is also a great way to help your favourite charity. A gift of life insurance can be done in a variety of ways, you can: Designate a charity as the beneficiary of the policy: This is the most straightforward approach where you buy 14 12
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a life insurance policy and you designate the charity as the beneficiary. In this instance, you would maintain control of the policy, pay the premiums and the charity collects the insurance proceeds upon your death. The donation then qualifies as a tax credit on your final income tax return. Name your estate as the beneficiary: This is similar to the first scenario in that you are the owner of the policy, however, instead of naming the charity as the beneficiary, you name your estate as beneficiary and simply leave instructions in your will that the proceeds of the life insurance policy be paid to your choice of charities. Again, the death benefit would qualify as a donation, giving your estate a tax credit on the final income tax return. Note that the proceeds would not be protected from probate fees, as the death benefit becomes part of the estate. Transfer ownership of the policy to the charity and reap the highest tax benefit: In this example, a life insurance contract is set up so that the charity is the owner of the life insurance policy, and any annual premiums you pay will qualify for a tax credit. However, the future death benefit will not qualify for a tax credit. Note that since the charity would own the policy, you will no longer be able to make changes to that policy. A gift of stock/securities is a surprisingly easy planned gift and is typically done while the donor is living. A gift of this nature is as simple as contacting your financial advisor or stock broker and asking them to initiate a transfer to your favourite charity. You or your advisor can contact the charity for their account information and sometimes a transfer form (depending on the charity) and there you are. Not only does the charity benefit from your donation, but you will not have to pay any capital gains on the securities. Always talk to your financial advisor, your lawyer and your family when making decisions regarding your estate planning. | Amber Adams is the Director of Donor Relations for the Nanaimo & District Hospital Foundation. She has been helping Central Island residents fulfill their philanthropic goals since 2005.
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When men come to Island Prostate Centre with a cancer diagnosis, they are usually anxious, sometimes terrified. We support them by helping them make informed decisions about their treatment and providing counselling and support programs. Make a lasting impact. Ask us about our Free Wills Program. 250-388-0214 www.IslandProstateCentre.com philanthropy@IslandProstateCentre.com Capital Region Prostate Centre Society Reg. Charitable No. 86665-8230-RR0001
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At Pharmasave, we’re committed to caring for the communities we serve. Pharmasave contributes over $200,000 each year to charities across British Columbia, benefitting communities like yours. A heart-felt thank-you to our valued customers for helping us reach our charitable goals. Visit pharmasave.com to find a location nearest you. Sign up for weekly coupons and receive a welcome offer with a sign up at www.pharmasave.com today!
Give them a world with the best healthcare possible
Leave a Legacy in your Will today 250-755-7690 Donate securely online at nanaimohospitalfoundation.com WWW.SENIORLIVINGMAG.COM
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ANGEL FOR A DAY by KATE ROBERTSON Providing TLC to people has always been a passion for Diane Falk of Langley. It guided her into the nursing profession before she married and had children. When her family moved from Ontario to British Columbia, Diane realized she needed something more in her life than to be a stay-athome mom. So after the move, Diane went into a hospital emergency room, the department where she had worked after she graduated from nursing school, to see how much things had changed. She soon realized things had changed a lot and more work was being done by machines than by the nurses. “Because TLC is my thing,” says Diane, “I decided against doing the nursing refresher courses to go back to work, and to instead volunteer with the Royal Columbian Hospital Auxiliary, to give the TLC that staff didn’t have as much time for in their busy schedules.” That was 40 years ago, and having volunteered over 10,000 hours, Diane has taken on many roles within the organization, including gift shop buyer, program convener, shopping cart attendant, and trainer of new volunteers for the Auxiliary, to name a few. She also looks after the older, retired members of the Auxiliary, by phoning and visiting them regularly so “they know that we haven’t forgotten about them.” One of Diane’s proudest achievements with the Auxiliary was in 1981, when she was elected as president. Another was in 1991 when the open-heart surgery program started 16 14
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and a surgeon approached the Auxiliary to see if they could make pillows for the patients with a diagram of the heart. Diane took on this Heart Pillow program. “At the beginning, there were five open-heart surgeries a week,” she says, “now there are 20-plus a week. We have made more than 17,000 pillows.” Patients hold the pillows for comfort, and after the surgery, the surgeon draws in the diagram what procedure was done; the nurses sign them and write words of encouragement. In 2016, Diane was recognized for her efforts when she received the “Above and Beyond” award, an annual award given by the hospital to “recognize those who go above and beyond to achieve extraordinary results.” For Diane, this was special because she was nominated by a Fraser Health staff member. “They noticed I made a difference in the hospital,” she says. Diane has also received the “star award,” a program set up by the Hospital Foundation where patients, families and peers nominate and donate money to the Foundation in the recipient’s name. Another highlight in Diane’s volunteer career happened recently when she was volunteering as a convener on the critical
ABOVE | Diane Falk of Langley has been a Royal Columbian Hospital Auxiliary volunteer for over 40 years. OPPOSITE PAGE | Diane with a pillow from the Auxiliary’s Heart Pillow program. Photos: Lindsey Donovan Photography
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care floor, waiting with family members for a loved one to have surgery. “A woman ran up to me, hugged me and said I had helped her 10 years ago when her husband had open-heart surgery,” she shares. “This time, her son was in critical care. He had been in a bad accident and was there for six months, so I got to know the family well. After the son recovered, this woman wrote to me and said I had made things so much brighter in dark days.” For Diane, knowing this is all she needs: “I come home with a happy heart knowing I am helping others; I don’t need any other payment for what I do.” Diane emphasizes, however, that it’s not just her who is recognized. “The people who work in this program are kind, caring people, sometimes called ‘angels for a day,’” she says.
Leave a Legacy Gift and Enhanced Financial Security for those who will benefit from Sanctuary programs In the end you’re either endowed... or extinct. At 80, Diane is still at the hospital volunteering anywhere from 10 to 50 hours each month. “When my husband retired, he said ‘don’t change your life; continue to do what you love.’ I need volunteering in my life, and although I get more tired now after a day of volunteering, it’s a good tired. I hope as long as I’m well, I’ll keep going like I am.” “I think the world would be a better place if everyone took time to volunteer. The volunteer gets a lot of happiness from it. That’s why people volunteer – because you feel good.” | For more info about Royal Columbian Hospital Auxiliary, call 604-520-4237 or visit: www.fraserhealth.ca/about-us/volunteer/royal-columbian-hospital/
BEQUESTS, SECURITIES, LIFE INSURANCE, and RETIREMENT PLAN D E S I G N AT I O N S
To d i s c u s s t h e p o s s i b i l i t y o f l e a v i n g a p l a n n e d g i f t t o S w a n L a k e , p l e a s e c o n t a c t k b u r t o n @ s w a n l a k e . b c . c a o r p h o n e : 2 5 0 . 4 7 9 . 0 2 1 1 t o d a y. WWW.SENIORLIVINGMAG.COM
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WHEN MUSIC IS THE MEDICINE by CATHERINE GILBERT When music is your métier but you love to help people, how do you combine the two to make a career? Dr. Johanne Brodeur found the answer when she began to study music therapy, which has evolved into her profession of 38 years. Johanne was introduced to the idea of giving people with special needs a helping hand while growing up in Quebec. Her parents, who owned a hotel, hired people with special needs to work there and her own mother was disabled from an accident. She credits growing up in the hospitality business as part of the reason she is so outgoing and imbued with a strong work ethic. Music was also a big part of her world during her formative years. Her parents exposed her to classical music at a young age and she had an aunt who was an opera singer. By the time she was three years old, she was already taking piano lessons. Johanne pursued music formally and eventually graduated with a BA in music performance. At that point, she, like many others her age, asked herself, “What will I do with my life?” Performance wasn’t quite satisfying – she was also fascinated by science, and had considered teaching. The answer lay south of the border, and she left Quebec in the 1970s to study in San Rafael, California, where she first earned a Master’s degree in Holistic Health. She then went on to study music therapy under Dr. Arthur Flagler Fultz, a founding member of the National Association of Music Therapy, the organization responsible for creating the designation RMT (Registered Music Therapist). Today, equipped with a PhD in Health Science, Music and Music Therapy, Johanne is head of both the Music Therapy and the Early Childhood Music Departments at the Victoria Conservatory of Music (VCM). 18 16
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“I have the best job in the world,” she says. The road to getting there had its challenges, and it is a credit to Johanne’s determined nature that she succeeded in establishing a music therapy program in Victoria. When she first arrived, she contacted the hospital to inquire if she could offer music therapy to patients. She was told that the idea was interesting, but she would need a sound-proof room as they didn’t want the hospital disrupted by the sound of drums or a piano. Next, Johanne contacted the VCM, and was told “You are a health professional, you can’t work here; this is a music school.” The Director at that time, Denis Donnelly, however, thought it was a good idea to introduce music therapy to the VCM. Beginning with just one client in 1993, the program has grown to 1,900 participants. Music therapy, according to the Conservatory website, is “the skillful use of music as a therapeutic tool to restore, maintain and improve mental, physical and emotional health.” Studios are equipped with hundreds of instruments including grand pianos, large percussion instruments, balls and electronic equipment including keyboards and computers, as well as a unique program called Soundbeams 5, which transforms movements into sounds, so that anyone, regardless of their physical challenges, can play instruments.
ABOVE | Dr. Johanne Brodeur works with seven-year-old music therapy student Elias in a studio at the Victoria Conservatory of Music. Photo: Catherine Gilbert
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To determine treatment, Johanne points out there is no single approach or fixed formula that applies to every client. “I don’t see a person with Down’s Syndrome,” she says. “I see an individual with various needs, then, I have to be creative to connect.” She explains that the relationship with the participant grows on different levels; both personally and musically. Johanne strives to create a bond with those she is treating and to create an atmosphere of trust and respect. To date, she has been the recipient of the two most prestigious music therapy awards in Canada; the Franni Award and the Norma Sharpe Award. Another marker of her success is that the music therapy program she developed in Victoria has now expanded to Nanaimo. At 57, Johanne is vibrant and energetic, and her passion for her profession and for life clearly shines through. To balance the hours and dedication she devotes to her professional life, she is an avid tennis player, hitting the courts three to four times a week, and she loves to hike. She spends a good deal of her time raising awareness about music therapy, lecturing and connecting with organizations such as school boards and elder care facilities. The program relies in large part on donations, and to keep it going, Johanne fundraises relentlessly. “I believe,” she says, “in the powerful nature of music and the crucial impact it has on our minds, emotions and souls.” | To find out more about the music therapy program at the Victoria Conservatory of Music, visit their website at www.vcm.bc
Music Wellness Classes & Music Therapy Sessions Adults and seniors show improvement in physical and mental health when they engage in weekly musical activities. Attend a group wellness classes at the VCM or request private sessions from a music therapist at your loved one’s residence or care home. • Reduce anxiety • Make music • Socialize • Awaken memories • Engage the mind and body
Improve your life, or the life of a loved one, with music!
VCM.BC.CA/MUSIC-WELLNESS 250.386.5311 | INFO@VCM.BC.CA
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Owen, Age 13, Leukemia I wish to go to Bermuda!
We all want to believe that we will remain healthy into old age but sometimes that just doesn’t happen. Whether you are 52 with dementia or need care at 105, aging can take away so much. Your donation to the Eldercare Foundation funds community programs and education that help people stay in their own homes longer; funds therapy programs, equipment and home-like enhancements for extended care residents; and gives back dignity and happiness.
LEAVE A LEGACY OF HOPE
Leave a legacy of care, comfort and quality of life.
Please consider a planned gift to the Eldercare Foundation today. 1454 Hillside Ave.,Victoria, BC V8T 2B7
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THREE-MINUTE STORIES by LAUREN P. MACLELLAN CTV Vancouver’s The Last Word may last, on average, less than 180 seconds, but it takes even less time for its host Mike McCardell to show his passion for happiness. Mike admits when he first pitched the idea of a short but concentrated segment that focused on wonder and quirkiness in a person’s everyday life, he was met with more than a bit of reluctance. With a lifetime’s worth of hard-hitting police reporting, the switch from covering race riots to riots at the boxcar racetrack seemed, ironically, like a dangerous shift. His boss, at the time, told him outright, “if you do these fluff pieces, I’ll bury them where no one will find them.” Which, in his case, meant the end of the show. When ratings spiked at the end of every episode, the change became a welcome one for more than just Mike. But the journey to becoming that harbinger of happiness was far from simple and quick. Mike’s story is complete with the car chases and grisly murders of police reporting, and a devious early love of tabloids. Alongside capturing his experience, he divulges his secrets to telling a great story. In his latest book, None of This was Planned, Mike dedicates a chapter to what he calls “how I got to do what I am doing” and paints a vivid picture of what sparked his career. “Lucky me, I was in a classroom where the teacher’s only job was to keep us quiet and read the newspaper,” he says. “He brought in tabloids. Right there, in that classroom, I decided I wanted to be a reporter and meet the people in those stories.” Mike quickly dispels any notion of chasing “the nobility of journalism” and admits he was an excited kid who wanted to “hang out with Two-Finger Louis and Shotgun Sally.” 20 18
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Armed with nothing but enthusiasm and a subway token from his mother, he ended up at the personnel office at the New York Times. He was offered a job as an outdoor messenger, which was promptly upstaged by the Daily News’ offer of a heated mailroom. All it took was hanging around in the City Room (better known as the News Room) when he was supposed to be sorting the mail. “I started changing typewriter ribbons, getting coffee and beer and inhaling the excitement of people on deadlines yelling: HOW MANY DEAD?” With lungs full of a contagious and morbid kind of thrill, he asked for a transfer to the deafening City Room. He went from bottom copy boy to top copy boy; bottom reporter to, in his humble words, “a not so bad reporter.” The simplicity of his start seems surprising considering the excitement of the career that followed, but Mike revels in these acts of simplicity. “I was doing what I always dreamed of, mostly because of a subway token and a walk across town.” The career that followed is impossible to describe without veering into action-movie-synopsis territory. A prison riot leads to a sawed-off shotgun at the belly of a dedicated journalist. A daring reporter pushes through stunned crowds to the scene of a deadly robbery. Thrilling tales of dramatic scenes and close encounters could easily take the place of this entire article. Mike, however, couldn’t be less interested in being painted as Bruce Willis in Die Hard and more interested in the role of an emotional Sherlock Holmes on the search for minute details that paint a beautifully complex picture of the human condition. From the beginning of Mike’s professional career, he tried to find a humanistic approach to each story. A tall order for a police reporter, who was thrown into the city’s most hostile environments. No matter where Mike found himself, he searched for a perspective
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LEFT | CTV Vancouver’s Mike McCardell is donating half the proceeds of his new book, None of This was Planned, to Vancouver NCIU. Photo: Nick Didlick
within the chaos, a point of sympathy inside the controversy. He recalls being at the centre of a street riot in the 1970s, incoherent yelling, and violence on all sides, until he looked up five floors to an elderly women looking out her window at the street below. When he reached her floor, she unlocked the first chain lock, but not the second. She had lived on the street most of her life and witnessed the slow escalation of community violence first hand. Instead of another mass protest report, Mike got an in-depth history of the neighbourhood from a relatable perspective. All it took was simply looking up. Eventually, however, Mike needed a change. “The first story was like the second, like the third, like the 10th, like the 100th after over a decade of police reporting. You get tired of seeing people get hurt over and over again.” After gaining unrestricted access to the city’s most horrific crimes during its residences most dire moments, Mike and his wife decided they wanted to raise their kids in a safer environment – for them that meant Vancouver. His colourful reporting resume earned him a job at BCTV (now Global TV), where he spent the next 37 years relaying uplifting tales at the end of the show, that is until he got the less-then-subtle news that the newly imported managers “wanted to go in a new direction.” He describes standing in that Burnaby parking lot feeling lost, having spent almost half his life there. They had waited two days before his vacation. Little did they know this was the same young man who jump-started his dream with a subway token. “A week later, I was talking to the news director at CTV.” He dedicates his newest book to that director, Les Staff: “three years ago he saw my age and experience as a plus, not a negative.” He debuted with CTV News Vancouver in September 2013 and remains a beloved reporter for “The Last Word.” He encourages anyone in a similar position to push forward. To make a simple decision to keep doing what you love in whatever way you can. Adapt, be creative and be happy.
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When you include a legacy gift to the Vancouver Symphony Orchestra, you become a member of the Stradivarius Legacy Circle, and help to keep glorious, symphonic music playing for generations to come. Call Mary Butterfield, Director, Individual & Legacy Giving for more information about Legacy gifts and benefits to you, or to join the Stradivarius Legacy Circle if you have already included the VSO in your estate plans.
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He urges everyone to “enjoy your life, your job, your family; you’ll stay healthier than those who don’t.” Mike has now has written 11 books and has no plans to stop telling stories. “I feel as good as I did when I was young, only I have more sense.” Nowadays his everyday process is nothing like most reporters. He leisurely drives around town, instead of speeding towards a scene, searching for a quiet individualism. As far as requirements go, Mike doesn’t have any and despite a lengthy day’s search (three-and-a-half hours is his record), he defends how easy it is to find a wonderful story: “It’s easy because everyone has one.” The question is whether or not he can capture it on any given day. If he interviews someone and they end up not being featured, he considers it his failure and not the interviewee’s. Although he often admits to luck, he is not without his methods in wooing a reticent subject. “First you apologize for interrupting their day, then you apologize again, then it’s simple. Get them to talk about themselves – the only topic anyone knows anything about.” The story never ends after a successful hunt, either; the key to a great story lies in the editing and the secret to success for Mike is to “watch the editor’s face, instead of the screen. If I see a smile, I know what needs to stay.” Now, Mike is advocating once again for the small and the wonderful, by donating half the proceeds of None of This Was Planned to the Vancouver NCIU, a cause that is also advocated by CTV Vancouver. He sees it as a way to not only help the community he loves, but also as an expression of love and sup-
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port for his TV family, who support the NCIU so passionately. Whether the story he covers is joyful or not, the joy Mike takes in storytelling is constantly evident. He started his career covering crime, yet was shaped into a force of positivity. What pervades Mike’s career – and personality – more than anything is the insatiable need to seek out and encourage others to tell their story. His message is joyfully simple: “it could happen to you. You could have an adventure every day or whenever you want it.” His books are a collection of proof that no story is too small or too big. From a pizza-eating horde of guinea pigs to the heart-warming stories of immigration and family bonds, Mike pushes us to recognize our own quiet moments as extraordinary. “Stories are gold,” he says. “Gold is not bad, but stories are better. The more you share them, the richer you are.” |
The difference you make could be life itself
None of This Was Planned can be found at independent bookstores all over BC, as well as Chapters/Indigo stores and online.
Leaving a gift in your Will helps thousands of women and newborns each year. With a legacy to BC Women’s Hospital Foundation you transform the lives of others for generations to come.
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TIPS & TOOLS TO DEAL WITH AGEISM by RICHARD B. JOHNSON In my last piece, in the November 2016 issue, I discussed the protections we all have in BC against discrimination. Ageism is one of several types of discrimination prohibited by the BC Human Rights Code. We are entitled to protection against discrimination because of our age. This protection exists in several aspects of our lives and protects us when we purchase goods, when we obtain services or rent an apartment, and in the course of our employment. If you are being discriminated against based on your age, then you have the right to file a complaint with the BC Human Rights Tribunal (www.bchrt.bc.ca). Now that we know we have a tool to protect us from discrimination based on age, let’s talk about when we should use that tool.
Is Ageism Occurring?
In some cases, age discrimination is obvious. For example, perhaps you have been the subject of jokes about your age, or perhaps your boss has told you that they need a “younger” person for the upcoming promotion. In these cases, you can reasonably assume that discrimination is occurring. However, in many cases, the issue is not so clear. Perhaps you have been passed over for a promotion, or are being asked about your retirement plans in casual conversation. In such cases, it is less clear whether you are being placed in a negative position because of your age and, therefore, it is prudent to get some further information before making an allegation of discrimination.
The Law
If you are confident you have faced discrimination, then you can do something about it. You have six months from the date of the discrimination to proceed with a Complaint to the BC Human Rights Tribunal. The Tribunal has a wide berth to decide on complaints, and make orders and award damages to right the wrongs that you have faced. One of the most frequent damages awarded are general compensation for the insult to one’s dignity that comes along with being the subject of discrimination. If you have lost wages as a result of ageism, the Tribunal also has the power to award damages for lost wages as well. You may have other legal claims such as severance, which can be pursued through the Courts, so it is best to get
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legal advice. However, know that a complaint to the Tribunal is a first step. The process is straightforward and it is a tool that is available to you, if and when you need it.
Practical Tips
If you are less certain if discrimination has taken place, here are some practical next steps/questions to help flesh out the issue: • Ask yourself whether the “discriminator” (i.e., your employer) is aware of your age. In the employment context, your employer can only be responsible for discrimination if he/she knows how old you are; • Are there any reasonable explanations for what is happening? In some cases, there may be valid and good faith reasons why age is a relevant consideration. For example: • When renting or purchasing a condo in a 55+ building, age is a perfectly relevant consideration; and • Likewise, age is relevant when dealing with pension and when pension money can be accessed. • In many cases, it is important to first put the other party on notice of your concerns. While you may want to get legal advice before you document your concerns with your employer, raising your concerns with the other party can sometime correct the problem and any potential misunderstandings. In other instances, putting your concerns on the record clearly but appropriately helps show that, in fact, discrimination is taking place; and • Act quickly. Since the BC Human Rights Code requires that a discrimination complaint be filed within six months of the discrimination, it is your obligation to move quickly to raise concerns with your employer and, if they go unaddressed, file a complaint within the deadline. Many clients come into my office with a sense that the way they have been treated is not quite right. I am always pleasantly surprised that people instinctually know when they are being treated unfairly. My job is then to label the unfairness and provide guidance about the tools that we, as British Columbians, have to ensure that we continue to live and work in a fair and just province. | Richard B. Johnson practices employment law in Vancouver. This article is intended for information only. If you have questions about your specific situation, seek professional advice from your lawyer.
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MOTHER OF THE MAIN EVENT by CALLIE MARTIN It’s that time of year again: countless couples are preparing to say “I do” in front of their loved ones. While most brides will don a white (or white-ish) gown, the fashion rules are less clear for the beloved mother of the bride or groom. Attending a wedding is stressful enough without having to worry about the number of sequins on your gown, so here are some tips for shopping for your formal wear in 2017. One of the first things that gets decided upon is the colour your dress. Should you match the bridal party or do your own thing? While I advocate for the latter, it’s always a good idea to check with your son/daughter about any expectations for your gown (though it’s probably safe to say anything in the white family is off the table). This year’s popular colour is a deep mulberry, as well the always-popular red, pink and navy. Since we’re entering the summer wedding season, try to steer away from darker colours if your child is tying the knot in mid-July versus mid-September. Though the guests may look stunning in
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black, keep in mind that black on a mother of the bride or groom can sometimes be misinterpreted as grief, so unless you’re on your way to a gothic wedding, best leave your little black dress in the closet. Once you’ve picked a colour that looks fabulous on you, it’s time to decide on the cut and silhouette of your gown. While for guests, a cocktail length may be appropriate, I typically suggest fuller length dresses for the mothers of the happy couple in order to emphasize the formality of the occasion and your importance in it. Most full-length gowns can be converted to cocktail dresses when the event is over. If you’re truly opposed to a full-length gown, however, at the bare minimum, I recommend the dress be no shorter than mid-calf to keep you stylish and protected from the heat of direct sunlight. For the silhouette, select something more fitted – tailors are sought out for these events for a reason. This is one of the most important days of your child’s life, so no need to risk looking like a shapeless raincloud. Instead, keep things nipped in at your waist to show off your shape, and opt for a flattering neckline. Regardless of how well you are/are not endowed, plunging necklines are rarely received well at a wedding – for anyone – least of all the mother of the bride or groom. Likewise, strapless dresses tend to be better suited for the bridesmaids, but opting for shorter sleeves or capped sleeves can be just as beautiful (and allow for a nice breeze to cool you off). One of the most important accessories you can bring with you will be a bolero jacket or shawl, so invest in one that complements the colour of your dress to stay looking hot as temperatures cool in the evening. Your best accessory, though? Your smile, which will come easily to you with these fashion tips for this year’s wedding season. Opa, mazel tov, blessings and hip-hip hooray! |
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SHARING FAMILY STORIES by DIANE SALTER We begin with stories. Within families, we tell stories about family adventures, our ancestors, our black sheep and our kissing cousins. As we share family stories with our children, and grandchildren, implicit messages come through about who we are, where we have come from and the shared beliefs and traditions of our families. Stories told within families provide a combination of family myth, folklore and information about family experiences and relationships between family members. Why is Uncle Jack considered the “Black Sheep?” Why is Aunt Mary considered the family “Saint?” Stories about Uncle Jack’s wild adventures travelling the world, while Aunt Mary (his devoted sister) was always there to help with any crisis in the extended family provide us with a sense of family dynamics, family history and family roles. Many stories become narrative-based life lessons that give direction to where we are going and where we are expected to fit within our family. These stories, while perhaps not totally devoid of truth, often become reshaped as the years go by with (perhaps) unintentional exaggeration that reinforces family dynamics and expectations. The story varies with the teller, and the interpretation varies with the listener.
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Family stories are often told to children anecdotally and incorporate a message that will serve as a lifetime guide. One such story was told to me by a sociology professor of Irish descent. At the time of telling me his story, he was in his late 40s, yet the memory of his mother’s message and how the story had influenced his life was vivid. In sharing his birth story, Howard’s mother told him that he had a special birth and in fact was “born twice.” In a regular delivery the amniotic sac breaks before the baby is born (commonly known as when “the water breaks”). After the water breaks, delivery follows. However, when it does not break, the amniotic sac must be broken after the delivery of the baby. When this happens, according to Irish mythology, the baby is considered “born twice.” Howard’s mother, an avid believer in Irish folklore and superstition, told him that children who are “born twice” are protected by the leprechauns. His mother assured him that the leprechauns had given him a special gift of an invisible blue light that would protect him from harm and enable him to perform feats far beyond normal ability. As a result of hearing this story repeatedly during childhood, he grew up experiencing a feeling of invulnerability and confidence that stayed with him into adulthood. He wasn’t sure if it was the protection of the blue light, or his belief in the leprechauns’ gift but, even as an adult, Howard was convinced his belief in the story contributed to his overall success. The way children retell and interpret stories changes as they get older. During this transition, the meaning attributed to the story shifts from an understanding at the “landscape of action” to the “landscape of consciousness.” As children progress through adolescence, the way their family stories are remembered and interpreted becomes more complex and conceptual. The stories become
longer with increasingly detailed descriptions of the event. In addition to the increasing complexity of the stories, when asked the question “What does the story mean to you?” by age 18, most interpretations include abstract concepts. These concepts, such as the importance of an education, the meaning of money, the sacrifice of parents (emigration stories) to provide better lives for their children and other intangible concepts can be generalized at the societal, as well as the individual, level. For example, at 18, Joan began with: “This story is one that was told by my dad. It has to do with the fact that my dad does not like pets and will not let any of us keep pets while at home.” Joan retells the story she had heard from her father about when her dad was young and he had to help his parents raise and train dogs. This work included before and after school chores and expectations that left her dad with little time for anything else. Joan’s retelling of the story finished with “And every time one of the family members now wants a pet, we get this big long story about how much work it is.” When asked what the story meant, Joan described: “He (dad) was trying to teach me that, in life, it’s not all fun and games and that there’s a lot of hard work and it shall forever be that way, you know, from now on. It’s not going to be easy, and that there’s a reward at the end of it, like his reward is that he doesn’t have to look after any more pets (laughs). But now I can read a little more into this story. Dad has a few companies he owns, and he’s worked hard all his life for what he’s wanted. He wouldn’t want to see anything else for his kids, and if he sees us sloughing off, he wants to keep us on track, to keep trying. Not everybody has it easy, in fact not very many do, if any, so we’re all trying.” Joan’s interpretation of the meaning has no mention of caring for dogs and bears no resemblance to the content of the events within the family story as told by her dad. In remembering the story, Joan had pulled out the “life lesson” passed on by her father and was able to generalize this message at the societal level with the words “not everybody has it easy… so we’re all trying.”
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The universal nature of stories and storytelling suggests that, as humans, we have an innate need to have a “story to live by.” Our own personal narratives evolve as we build upon family stories that tell us who we are, individually and collectively, within our family and our cultures, providing a sense of history and giving direction to where we are going. When family stories are shared at your next gathering and new family stories are created, consider what these stories mean to you. Have they subtly influenced your life choices? Has the story and your interpretation changed over the years? Is yesterday’s black sheep evolving into tomorrow’s adventurous hero? What might the young listeners remember from these stories and how will they interpret and internalize their family narratives? Our stories are diverse, differing in substance and meaning, but we all have stories to tell and they are significant meaning makers for ourselves and for future generations. In the words of one of my young storytellers, “The whole story is about memories, right? And it’s just important to everybody to have memories from their past, and to have a story like that, or something they can remember. I think that’s just so important.” | The ideas expressed in this article are based on the author’s Master’s Thesis Interpreting Family Narrative. Diane is continuing to gather family stories. If you have a family story that you would like to share, contact Diane at djsfamilystories@ gmail.com with a brief description of your story and your contact information.
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Are you concerned that hearing aids will ‘age’ you? For those who have hearing loss, one of the leading concerns is that wearing hearing aids can show their age. Historically, hearing aids have been the accessory of the older generation and were uncomfortable and clunky. But now a new hearing aid on the market is changing all of that. The Unitron Moxi™ Fit R is so small and unobtrusive, it virtually disappears into your ear. In fact, it’s the smallest rechargeable hearing instrument in the world†. If you’re concerned about hearing aids making you look older, you’re not alone. Research shows that wearing hearing aids still carries a negative stigma and are associated with old age - causing many to be in denial of their hearing loss. However, leaving your hearing loss untreated can lead to “auditory deprivation” and may show your age every time you have to ask someone to repeat themselves. People who suffer from auditory deprivation often have difficulty processing speech. Research shows that the longer an ear goes without hearing, the greater
Auditory deprivation and ‘outing’ your age may be prevented for some clients with the new Unitron Moxi™ Fit R. At only 2.82 cm tall, its size and award winning design gives users the ultimate flexibility. Charge overnight and be ready for a full day of conversations. If you forget to charge them, enjoy the convenience of swapping in traditional zinc-air batteries. You shouldn’t have to worry about running out of power.
Concerned hearing aids will make you look older? Think again. Discreet hearing has never looked better! its effects can be. Hearing aids may prevent auditory deprivation as they provide stimulation to the auditory nerves and auditory cortex. Further, the speech understanding abilities of some people may improve with hearing aids (recovery from auditory deprivation). However, if hearing aids are put off for too long, it may cause long-lasting speech understanding difficulties.
For such a small package, it packs a lot of punch, too. It utilizes today’s most advanced technologies, allowing it to identify different sound environments and adjust itself accordingly. The result is a natural sound, improving your ability to focus on conversations. Connect Hearing wants to take age out of the hearing equation. Register for a free hearing test* by calling 1-888-408-7377 or visiting connecthearing.ca/fit. Qualified candidates will receive a no-obligation trial of the new Moxi™ Fit R hearing aid.
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Your gift providecomfort comfortand and giftininaaWill Willcan provides support to to those facing terminal illnessillness and the support those facing terminal and the loved ones behind. loved ones theythey leaveleave behind.
Crossroads willhelp helpyou youininthe theprocess process Crossroads can of of defining your a a defining your gift andgift, willand also help help cover to cover portion fees. portionofofyour your Will Will revision revision fees. For contact: Formore moreinformation information contact: Anna Wilczewski Anna Fundraising and and Development Fundraising DevelopmentOfficer Officer 604-945-0606 604-945-0606 anna@crossroadshospice.org anna.wilczewski@crossroadshospicesociety.com anna@crossroadshospice.org
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VAC, WCB, WSIB, WorkSafeBC, ADP & ODSP accepted. *Free hearing tests only applicable for clients over 50 years of age and no fees or purchase are necessary. †Moxi Fit R is the smallest rechargeable hearing instrument in the world based on exterior dimensions compared to other products in its class. ‡Based on national physician referrals over the tenure of the corporation’s Canadian business operations compared to the disclosed referral count of leading competitors. **Certain conditions apply to the Price Match Guarantee. See clinic for details. ®CAA, CAA logo and CAA Rewards trademarks owned by, and use is authorized by, the Canadian Automobile Association. Registered under the College of Speech and Hearing Health Professionals of BC.
info: 4C Advertorial the needs Our 65th AnniversaryJobserving Brand: Moxi Fit R - Age of physically disabled throughout B.C. Client: Connect Hearing CYAN
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Our Mission is to help fund & support Colours: Side help others! BLACK Help us to Proof #: 1 organizations and individuals facing Date: Apr 2017 ideas. incorporated. challenges, and improve quality of Our Accomplishments include: Sign-off: YES - Todd Jones. life and independence. •Technology for independent living Jim Glen: jim@meehanlewis.com | 604-733-1514
•Noble House •Education programs •Support of Ronald McDonald House And, we are “Calling All kin” as well!
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Please support our programs! www.kinsmenfoundationofbc.ca Thank you for 65 years of support!! We have a variety of ways that you can help!! For more info, Email: kinsmenfoundationofbc@shaw.ca WWW.SENIORLIVINGMAG.COM
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FINDING HYGGE IN DENMARK by JAMES ELLSWORTH Much has been written recently about the Danish sense of coziness and balance in life, called ‘hygge’ (pronounced hue-gah). If you Google the word, you will get more than 16 million hits. Two British writers, Helen Russell and Michael Booth, have both commented on hygge in their books about “Scandi life,” A Year of Living Danishly and The Almost Nearly Perfect People. Also the Danes have been ranked among the happiest people in the world. Denmark retook top spot in the 4th annual United Nations World Happiness Report (March 2016; Canada was 6th). Actually, the tiny Scandinavian country has placed first three times and third once. What makes the Danes so happy and well-balanced? To try to find out, my wife and I took a slow ride through Denmark last June. We have our own sense of what makes a happy and wellbalanced trip – a road trip to explore and walk, an urban experience to wander, and a more exerted activity component such as cycling – and we organized a trip to Denmark on that recipe. We would experience some, but not all, of an area of the islands Funen and Mons, plus the southern part of the Jutland peninsula in leisurely fashion; a mandatory sampling of Copenhagen for a few days, and a cycling route known as the Danish Riviera of northern Zealand, all in early June to avoid the summertime high season. A year later, we are still living off the hygge high. Interestingly, Denmark is not one of the smallest countries in the world, land size or population-wise, as it is often perceived. It has slightly more people than Finland or Norway, its Scandinavian neighbours. If including Greenland and the Faroe Islands, it is twelfth in area in the world but far less (134/257) for its European portion, of course. However, 32 30
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Denmark is a very easy country to travel. Most Danes are no further than 60 kilometres from the sea; although there are over 76 inhabited islands out of 443, they are connected easily by bridges or ferries. Copenhagen has a million fewer people than Vancouver and has recently (November 2016) recorded more bicycles in the heart of the city than cars on a daily basis. When one factors that Vancouver Island is about three-quarters the size of Denmark, everything in that country is very available indeed. Whether it is culture, castles, cuisine, cycling, coziness, or just being copacetic, Denmark is entirely see-able. The first surprise about Denmark is its Englishness: the quaint cobblestone streets of towns like royal Roskilde and Viking Ribe; the narrow side roads, thatched houses, and poppies in wheat fields of Funen; and the deep history of moated castles including Hamlet at Elsinore were a revelation. I suppose one shouldn’t be surprised given that Denmark had a great influence on England. The Vikings controlled most of England, except for Alfred’s Wessex and added to the language with words such as cozy, maelstrom, rug, iceberg, skoal and street. A thousand Norse place names in Britain can be identified to this
TOP LEFT | Cycling culture in Copenhagen. TOP CENTRE | Crab cake creation. TOP RIGHT | Cycling on a woodland path. RIGHT | Blavand bunker horses on the strand. Photos: James Ellsworth
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day by the suffixes -by, thorp, -beck, -dale. And the Norman Invasion in 1066 was really the Second Danish Invasion, since the Normans were descendants of Norsemen. Any Anglophile could feel at home in Denmark. The distances in Denmark are short. For instance, we drove the ring road around Copenhagen to have lunch in Roskilde at a restaurant alongside a Viking long ship, then on to the southwest corner of Funen to rolling meadows around Faaborg via the 18-kilometre Storabaelt or Great Bridge. It took less than three hours to cover the 200 kilometres including our smørrebrød repast, the famous open-faced Danish sandwich. By ferry and road to the west coast of Jutland was 225 kilometres and took less than four hours, a leisurely pace and scenic. We spent multi-nights in thatched accommodations and it allowed us to stay and explore our chosen venues, from the bucolic farmland and churches of Funen to hiking the long sandy strands and wild rose-covered dunes of the North Sea or have coffee and a Danish pastry in the nooks of Blavand. Our longest day trip across Jutland to the university city of Aarhus, Denmark’s second biggest town on Jutland’s east coast, was less than 200 kilometres, and we got to see the Iron Age Bog Man at Silkeborg and Lego Man, the modern age brick toy at Billund, on the same day. Even a longer drive (Blavand to the island of Mons south of Zealand and Copenhagen) was only four hours and we re-entered more idyllic countryside, gardens and follies dedicated to a loving wife (Liselund), medieval wall paintings (11th century Elmelunde Kirke), and chalk cliffs near the sea. Only an hour from Mons, urban Copenhagen was our interlude between the road trip and the cycling. It provided a romantic ambience of canal-side restaurants, summer solstice strolls after an aquavit or espresso, boat tours of Copenhagen’s many canals and endless walks whilst staying in a central apartment of Scandinavian design in Nyhavn, within easy access to anything of note. Whether it was sampling Danishness such as Georg Jensen and Lego stores, along the car-free, one-kilometre pedestrian-friendly shopping street, Strøget. Or strolling by the gauntlet of pot sellers in the haven of Christianhavn. Or leisurely wandering the public and open grounds of King’s Garden and the Rosenberg Castle. Or merely marveling at the plethora of cyclists and bicycle parking on boulevards.
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Or Tivoli Gardens, Christianaborg (parliament of Borgen fame), the Little Mermaid, the Danish Architecture Centre, or the foodie fête of the waterside Street Food Market. The sites and sights were nearby. The result was both new and renewing. But we were keen to go on a four-day cycling tour of northern Zealand, the former playground of Denmark’s royalty. Danish cycling is very organized and facilitated with over 11,000 kilometres of cycle routes, like a spider-web, well signed and with a variety of paved and gravel roads, country lanes, and woods/beach paths. We opted for a self-guided route called Danish Castles and Coast, from the woods around Snekkersten, to the world heritage site of Helsingor, and to the fishing village and cliffside town of Gilleleje. Our days of biking followed parts of a national route and two regional routes, about 120 kilometres but never more than 40 kilometres of cycling in a day. It was easy cycling, like our holiday, meant to allow for several stops to “smell the roses,” to experience the balance of vista varieties, cuisine and culture along the way, and to practice candlelit hygge at our stays. Some highlights included a picnic in the gardens of the Renaissance castle, Frederiksborg, the eponymous modern art gallery, Louisiana (three of his wives were named Louise); meeting actors from Hamlet being re-enacted at Kronborg (Elsinore) Castle; eating a monk’s lunch at the 10th century abbey, Esrum; and trudging past a sentinel of colourful beach huts on a wild strand at Rageleje. There was more too. Even cozy hygge must be balanced. In the warm fireside, the owner of a restaurant in a fishing village told us that her grandfather helped transport Jews to Sweden in World War II, but for a price, and directed us to a church loft past thatched cottages and rose gardens where refugees were betrayed to the Nazis. But not before she proudly showed us her Royal Copenhagen china dishes and local crab cakes. She also admitted that in the cold wind off the North Sea in winter, the hygge candles might reveal a grimace rather than a smile. It was a perfectly balanced holiday in Denmark and the auras of hygge and happiness have lasted a long time. | For IF YOU GO information, visit www. seniorlivingmag.com/articles/denmark-hygge
LET YOUR LIFE FORCE SHINE In order to change my life, I must begin immediately. This is not the time to be shy, to stand back. I must do it flamboyantly with no exceptions. Martha Graham said it best: “There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action. Because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique, and if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and will be lost.” When you think of you and the amazing individual you are, what is the first word that comes to mind? If you cannot think of a word of your own, choose from the list here. Make yourself a name tag that tells the world just how special you are. If you don’t get excited about any of these, create your own. Here is a short list to get you started: Amazing, Rare, Brave, Truthful, Insightful, Radiant, Charming, Unique, Energetic, Blissful, Wise, Fascinating. This list is just a beginning. Each day, find a new word that will send you off on a new adventure, a new path, or, if you like one particular word, play with it for several days. Whatever you decide to do, do it joyously. When we are practicing joy, our bodies experience an increase in blood flow, which leads to more joy. Joy makes us younger; it increases our immunity; it enhances our creativity and our intuition. It makes us irresistible.
Courageous
&
When someone asks, “How are you?” do you say “I’m fabulous”? Or do you say “been better,” “still standing,” or “not bad”? We are terrified to say I’m fabulous because by PAT NICHOL people may think we are arrogant. Time to change all that. Practice out loud. Don’t block that life force that makes you you. Get excited! What do you get excited about? Make a list: great lunch, good friends, warm bubble bath, reading, shopping. When you do these things, tell someone. This reinforces the pathways of excitement in your brain. Your task over the next three weeks is to find out how much excitement your friends can stand coming from you. So, until the next time, you have your homework. Concentrate on the person you spend your entire life with. Make sure that each day is one you begin with joy and end with gratitude. Let that life force that is you shine and bubble; then watch what happens. |
Outrageous
Pat Nichol is a speaker and published author. Reach her by email at mpatnichol@gmail.com or visit Pat’s website at patnichol.ca
PICKY PALATES CAN ACTUALLY ENHANCE THE DINING EXPERIENCE
A
ny chef can relate to the challenges of catering to finicky or highly selective eaters, and can attest to compromised dining experiences when picky palettes don’t like the menu. At Retirement Concepts, chefs embrace the challenge selective diners or different dietary needs might present. They inherently recognize the dining experience in their facilities is just as important as a friendly atmosphere and dependable service. They also know their residents have very unique needs that range from challenges with eating due to medical conditions to those who are simply looking for a memorable and special dining experience.
Retirement Concepts staff recognize the meals and snacks served during dining times at their facilities are so much more than just fuel and sustenance. They are part of a uniquely communal and social aspect of life that can bring seniors together and even unite them. Every meal at every facility is created with this understanding in mind. To learn more about everything Retirement Concepts offers its residents and guests, visit: www.retirementconcepts.com If interested in touring a facility, please contact: info@retirementconcepts.com.
They cater to these needs in several innovative ways that include having their menus reviewed by nutritionists, creating fresh, healthy meals and snacks on site, organizing special events that feature enticing delicacies, and even ensuring meals, whether they are pureed or are the featured entrée of the day, have a pleasing presentation. For those special occasions when residents may be looking for a more intimate atmosphere, many of Retirement Concepts’ facilities feature private dining rooms.
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Get satisfaction through self-compassion
By Wendy Johnstone
“When you are compassionate with yourself, you trust in your soul, which you let guide your life. Your soul knows the geography of your destiny better than you do.” –John O’Donohue Is it possible to treat ourselves with the same understanding and care in which treat our best friend or even a total stranger in need? How many of us carry the notion that being hard on ourselves will motivate us to make fewer mistakes or to act in a different way? Dr. Kirsten Neff has researched self-compassion for decades. For caregivers, her definition includes showing self-kindness, like the way we would treat a friend. It’s giving ourselves, as caregivers, permission to meet our own needs rather than selfjudging our perceived inability to cope. Dr. Neff encourages caregivers to see caregiving as a larger human experience and to know they aren’t alone. She also encourages caregivers to be mindful of feelings, especially the painful and negatives ones. It’s about acknowledging that life is imperfect and to hold space and comfort for ourselves in the face of difficult times.
more diminished each time he comes back from respite, and I feel badly about that. But the fact is, he has a progressive disease and, no matter what I do or don’t do, he will diminish. Making an effort to take care of my needs through work and travel helps me be a better caregiver and wife.”
Showing ourselves selfcompassion isn’t an overnight fix. There is no magic. It takes practice and patience. You can find Dr. Neff’s work online, including research, tips for self-compassion and a variety of practical exercises. For emotional support and more information on self-compassion please visit www.familycaregiversbc.ca | Wendy Johnstone is a Gerontologist and a consultant with Family Caregivers of British Columbia in Victoria, BC.
It turns out that when we are kind to ourselves or showing self-compassion, it leads to increased feelings of happiness, optimism, gratitude, and life satisfaction. It’s even linked to better coping and resiliency in the face of demanding life situations, such as caring for someone else. For caregivers, self-compassion is shown to lead to more satisfaction caring for someone and decreases the chances of burnout. It helps deal with the grief or challenges by simply looking at ourselves in the mirror and saying, “This is hard right now. It’s only natural that I’m feeling sad or stressed.” Gwyn Sproule has cared for her husband with Parkinson’s disease for over 10 years. She’s learning self-compassion every day. “I returned from a month-long trip in Asia. My husband is 36 34
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Marketplace COLLECTOR SEEKING vintage/collectable cameras, binoculars and microscopes. Nikon, Leica, Contax, Rolleiflex, Zeiss, Canon, etc. Mike 250-383-6456 or msymons6456@telus.net (Victoria) HOME INSTEAD SENIOR CARE is a company with HEART. Our CAREGivers are thoroughly trained in dementia care, bonded, and insured. We provide personalized home care for your family’s needs. Book a complimentary Care Consultation. Call 250-382-6565 or visit our website www.homeinstead.com/victoriabc SENSUAL MASSAGE. Are you missing touch? I’m a Certified Sexological Bodyworker, I work with Couples and Individuals. Sher 250-889-4166 or email sexeducator@telus.net CHANGING PLACES Downsizing and relocation specialists SINCE 1991. Moving? Aging in place? Need help? Don’t know where to start? Let us take care of all the details from start to finish. Call Jane 250-721-4490 Victoria and the Island for a free estimate www.changingplaces.ca HEALING FOOTCARE to ease your mind and lighten your step for a healthier walk. Call Nurse Marcia R.N.,B.Sc.N. 250-686-3081. DOWNSIZING? OVERWHELMED? Dream Downsizing can take the stress out of a move. Sorting, packing, unpacking, advising, and more. Free estimate call Cathy 250-634-3207. DreamDownsizing. com BBB DEBI’S MOBILE HAIR SERVICES in the comfort of your home for everyone in your family. Serving the Victoria area. Please call Debi at 250-477-7505. ALWAYS GREAT FEET. Nanaimo’s professional mobile foot care nurses. Debbie Mason LPN and John Patterson LPN. Home, facility, and hospital visits. Experienced, qualified nursing foot care for toenails, corns, calluses and ingrown nails. Direct billing for DVA clients. 250-390-9266. WANTED: OLD POSTCARDS, old photographs, and pre-1950 stamped envelopes. Also buying old coins, medals and badges. Please call Michael 250-6529412 or email fenian@shaw.ca IMPROVE YOUR HEALTH - Are you serious about improving your health? Check out some details on this new book that can provide a solution to all your health concerns. For full details, visit our website www.defeatingdisease.com
CORNERSTONE SENIORS ADVOCACY Assisting Seniors through life’s changes. Specializing in Estate Clear Out & Sale of Assets, Stay at Home Project Management, Transitional Moves & Downsizing. Licenced, Bonded & Insured. 250.858.8560 www.cornerstoneadvocacy.com
WANTED: Old stereo/audio equipment. Any condition. Amplifiers, turntables, speakers, receivers etc. Honest/friendly. Victoria and V.I. Call Bob, 250-896-2268, northtowns26@gmail.com DEALER SPECIALIZING IN ITEMS priced from $500 -$10,000 pays instantly for vintage quality Wrist Watches; Omega, Rolex, Patek Philippe, Jaeger LeCoultre, Piguet, etc. Working or not and Gold Pocket Watches, Fine Clocks, Nautical Instruments, Optics, Military Medals, Badges, Log Books, Swords, Antique Firearms, Gold & Silver Coins. 4065 MacDonald Street, Vancouver. Call Graham 604-716-8032. NEED A HELPING HAND in Sidney / Saanich / Oak Bay? Call Elizabeth on 250-634-8330. I promise to treat you like royalty. HEARING RECOVERY $70 (Prescription Drug cost). james401@telus.net
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Forever Fit BECOME A LABEL READER by EVE LEES Can packaged foods be healthy? Many are high in added salt, sugar, fat and chemical preservatives. Most also provide too many calories that are low in nutrients – otherwise known as “empty calories.” But eating healthy doesn’t mean you can’t make use of some convenient, packaged foods. Washed and bagged salads, frozen fruit and vegetables, deli-roasted chicken and freshly prepared pasta sauce usually have few, if any, additives. The trick to eating packaged foods is to read the label and understand what you are reading.
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Here are a few tips: 1. The ingredients are listed in order of greatest amount. If items like sugars, fats, and white flour are at the top of the list, this may not be a desirable product for you. 2. To be considered low in fat, a product should have three or fewer grams of fat for each 100-calorie serving. For example, a food that has 150 calories per serving and provides 2.5 grams of fat per serving would be a very low-fat product. In Canada, the changes to the nutrition facts table now require a percent daily value (% DV) for fats, sugars and others. This will make it easier to see if a food is high in any particular ingredient. Any item with a 5% DV or less is considered low; a 15% DV or more is a lot! 3. To determine a low-sodium product, the DV should be less than 15% to be considered low sodium. If you’d prefer the lowest amount of sodium, the milligrams (mg) of sodium per serving should be equal to or less than the number of calories per serving. 4. To be considered a low-sugar product, the grams of sugar for each serving should be 5% DV or less. Keep in mind
For people aged 55 and over
natural sugars in a product may increase the overall “sugar” rating of the product, even though there are no added refined sugars shown on the ingredient listing. If there are any added sugars, they will appear in the ingredient list. Added sugars (such as glucose-fructose, molasses, honey, etc.) will appear by weight from most to least. 5. To determine a high-fibre product, four grams of fibre per serving is excellent; two grams is adequate; less than one gram is low. But again, refer to the % DV listed on the label. 6. A final wise rule of thumb: Be cautious of any food if there are chemical names listed in the ingredients you cannot pronounce! There’s nothing wrong with an occasional indulgence of a processed, refined food, but try to keep to a minimum food that is boxed, canned or prepared in any way. The more we tamper with our food, the less fibre and nutrition it provides. Our bodies are designed to process and refine a whole food after we eat it, not before! | Eve Lees is a health writer, speaker and a nutrition Counsellor. She was a personal trainer for over 30 years. www.artnews-healthnews. com
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Delicious chef prepared meals, 24 hour emergency response, Weekly house keeping & your linens refreshed, Daily planned activities for fun with friends, Your best family friend is welcome, we are pet friendly! Centrally located; a short walk to Duncan’s shops, Services, restaurants and Seniors Centre. 280 Government Street, Duncan, BC V9L 0B5 www.sherwood-house.com WWW.SENIORLIVINGMAG.COM
Senior Living... The Berwick Way™ At Berwick Retirement Communities, you will enjoy an unparalleled standard of living at a superior value. Creating a wonderful environment where residents enjoy exceptional services from friendly staff is The Berwick Way. Find out more about The Berwick Way™ – Ask one of our Senior Living Experts Today!
www.BerwickRetirement.com V I C TO R I A | N A N A I M O | C O M OX | K A M LO O P S | C A M P B E L L R I V E R Proud to be BC owned and operated JOB BRC-17779 CLIENT: BERWICK RETIREMENT COMMUNITY PUBLICATION: SENIOR LIVING MAGAZINE INSERTION DATE: TBD TRIM: 7.25X4.75 PREPARED BY: ECLIPSE CREATIVE INC. @ 250-382-1103
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I didn’t expect it to feel like home. Feeling at home means enjoying the things you like to do. Which is why at Amica, you can always enjoy your day the way you like to – read your book in a quiet corner or enjoy a snack when you want to. You can expect an all-inclusive community that is personalized to you with a range of first-class amenities and services. You can choose care and support options tailored to your unique needs and preferences. Independent Living
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