THE ART OF PLAY Early

M O N N E S S W I T H D AU G H T E R S T E S S A N D N E L L I N AT L A N T I C BEACH

8M I N I 8

Mom of two JENNIE MONNESS has quickly become the go-to guru for all things child development and play. The Chief Mom in Charge at NYC’s Union Square Play and creator of Mo’ Mommies often shares insightful tips and tricks for navigating your Mini’s early years on her Instagram feed, but we wanted to take it a step further and really dive into what all parents should know about purposeful play, encouraging creativity, and even dealing with those daily tantrums.

photography by ANA GAMBUTO

MINI | We’re so glad to have you in our summer issue! Let’s dive right into your life as a mom. What does your morning routine look like?

JENNIE MONNESS | I am so excited to be part of it! So life as a mom is hard, hard work and my morning routine is ever-evolving. Some mornings I feel like I have it all together: I wake up before the kids do, I shower and make their milk and my coffee. That happened once. M ost mornings, I’m woken up by one of them close to 6 a.m. and bring them into our bed where we snuggle for another 20 minutes until the other one wakes up. We go get the second riser together. Then we’re all in bed together, them drinking milk, playing, reading books and maybe a little TV for Tess (2.5 years) while Nell (8 months) is turned away from the TV, until around 7. My husband brings them down for breakfast and I try to fit in a work out at 7:30 two to three times per week.

MINI | What advice would you give to moms about to go from one to two kids?

JENNIE MONNESS | When I was going from one to two, what no one really said was “it’s never the same.” I’m going to tell you that because it’s true. It’s never the same. So my advice is to take it all one day at a time. I promise you’ll fall in love with your second, third, or fourth child, but just like becoming a mom for the first time, life is forever changed; there’s no denying that. I also promise that there’s a time where you won’t miss the old life, because you’re so in love with this new addition and the relationship blossoming between them and your first born.

MINI | How has motherhood changed you?

JENNIE MONNESS | It’s made me feel like I’m a su-

perhero. I used to think that I could work hard, that I could withstand a lot, that I had a lot of patience and could tolerate a lot, but nothing compares to the strength it takes to be a mom. So I guess it’s made me my strongest self, a strength I never thought I had in me.

MINI | What do you think is the greatest challenge of motherhood?

JENNIE MONNESS | That you never get to fully relax... ever. Yes, you can take a vacation without your kids, but you never relax the same ever again. That’s really hard for me to wrap my head around!

MINI | What has surprised you most about motherhood thus far?

JENNIE MONNESS | How hard it is. There’s no sugarcoating it. I thought that with all of my experience working with infants and toddlers that it wouldn’t be as hard

for me. WRONG. It’s hard! There’s so much out of our control involving a human that we love more than anything in the whole wide world. That was shocking to me.

MINI | What is most important to you in raising your girls?

JENNIE MONNESS | Making sure that they are good people because of what they grow up to feel is important, that it comes from within them, not because I told them what to do. That means I try to model and lead by example. I don’t tell them to share, to listen or say sorry. I think that there is so much more power and meaning in showing what a good person does. Basically, I want them to be good people, but authentically good people, because that’s what they want to be, not because mommy taught them that was what they should be.

MINI | Tell us how you decided on your kids’ names.

JENNIE MONNESS | Oh, I love this question. Their names are my favorite words in the world. Of course I’m biased, but I think about it all the time

that I’m just so proud of their names. Tess came to me from my older sister. It was on her “nixed” list for her first daughter. She told me it was one of her choices, but she hadn’t used it. I fell in love with it and asked her if I could use it. At the time she said yes because she thought she was done having kids. She ended up with another daughter a year after Tess was born and jokingly asked for it back. I also loved that it rhymed with my last name, Monness. I fell in love with the name Tess before I married [my husband] Matt and before my last name became Monness. So that sealed the deal. A rhyming name?! I’m an early childhood teacher, I love rhymes! For Nell, I wanted another one syllable name. Another name that was cute with “ie” at the end, the same way I loved Tessie. I Googled one syllable girl names and Nell was my favorite.

MINI | You are Chief Mom in Charge at Union Square Play. Tell us about this venture and your involvement with this awesome NYC resource.

JENNIE MONNESS | I first started the blog, Mo’ Mommies, at around 9 months pregnant with my first child. I realized that with all of my experience, there were going to be many things that would come more naturally to me. My friends were always reaching out for advice and I wanted to share my knowledge and guidance with other moms as a resource, while also going through it alongside them. At first, the blog was going to be a way of showing what I was doing with my young baby to encourage curiosity and confidence through open ended play. Then, once I became a mom myself, I quickly realized how none of us are immune to the overwhelming feeling of becoming a mom and not knowing what to do at times. Even me, who thought I knew it all! So my blog turned into an honest and open account of motherhood in addition to being a resource on play and development. A community of “mo’ moms” was formed via instagram, moms that all felt similarly about thoughtful, intentional play and just being real about motherhood. I quickly discovered that I needed a physical space to truly bring all of this to life in person and to bring all of these moms together. So when I met a mom in one of the classes I was teaching at the time, and she said she was starting

FAV O R I T E KIDS MOVIE... Moana

a play space under her restaurant, I knew it was meant to be. She asked me to come see it, and the rest is history. Union Square Play was born! The three of us are a family and have created a community that is meant to make the earliest years of parenthood easier, more communal, and fun!

MINI | We love following you on Instagram for all things child development and purposeful play! What do you think is the greatest misconception parents have about play or development?

JENNIE MONNESS | The misconception is that, as parents, many think that you have to do so much in order for your child to develop and flourish. The truth is, the most work you have to do is on yourself. Putting your own expectations and agenda aside, letting your child develop in their own way, giving them a chance to show you who they are, and trusting them and their competence.

MINI | What is one thing you think all parents should know about play?

JENNIE MONNESS | Play is a child’s work. It’s a window to see how your child “works.” Finding out what interests your child, who they are, what frustrates them, what interests them, what motivates them, what they are curious about, where they are developmentally and cognitively speaking, and what they NEED is evident in their play. All of this is so valuable and is easily missed when we don’t give our children the space and opportunity to just be and play.

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MINI | Better yet, what are the best ways to play with babies or toddlers?

JENNIE MONNESS | Start by observing your child first. Noticing what interests them will allow you to find ways to connect with them during play. Start there and then you’ll also discover what materials to get that will inspire the most play. Then, spend time watching them at play and organically let them invite you in to join them.

MINI | What do you think are the best ways to cultivate creativity and imagination?

JENNIE MONNESS | One way is by choosing the right play materials. When I choose play materials, I think of the possibilities that each object has. “Toys” should be able to be manipulated in many ways and inspire creativity, imagination, and curiosity. They should encourage a child to be active rather than passive; to be engaged and involved rather than entertained and overstimulated. With the right environment and materials, children get lost in play that just flows. Th e second way is to think about what you can do to help inspire curiosity. Curiosity is something I consider the most important thing to preserve from childhood— curiosity is a DRIVE to learn. When we stop being curious, we almost stop learning. Ask your child questions and talk to them about everything!

MINI | Let’s talk toddler tantrums. What’s your take on mitigating these daily outbursts?

JENNIE MONNESS | They are cries for help. Children don’t WANT to tantrum, remember that. Mitigating them starts with acknowledging feelings and validating them. In simple terms, ALLOWING the emotions, not fighting or distracting them from them.

MINI | Social distancing is a phrase in all of our vocabularies now. How have you spent the time in quarantine and what will you remember about this time?

JENNIE MONNESS | I’ve spent the majority of it

with my immediate family. Despite the chaos of what was happening, I’ll remember the calm I’d feel just knowing it was the four of us. Also, I’ll remember the moms groups I launched during COVID and how without them, I would have felt so much more disconnected and isolated.

MINI | If you could give your kids one piece of advice, what would it be?

JENNIE MONNESS | Reach for the stars! I think that the happiest people are the most driven because they want to really live life to the fullest.

MINI | We have to know your favorite places in NYC or NJ to visit with kids, GO!

JENNIE MONNESS | Union Square Play in NYC! Right now, I’m living at our beach house in Atlantic Beach, LI and our favorite place to go to is the beach or Sands Point for a picnic and hike.

FAST FACTS

TYPICAL COFFEE ORDER Iced coffee with oat milk and a drop of stevia.

ALWAYS IN MY FRIDGE Oat milk.

ON MY NIGHTSTAND Bee magic. I’m addicted and use it on my lips all the time. A note pad and pen; I am a list addict. I make so many lists and love to write them vs. put them in my phone! Oh, and the girls’ monitors.

IF THERE WERE MORE HOURS IN THE DAY, I WOULD Spend it playing with my kids. I mean that. I know it sounds cliche coming from me, but it’s the one thing I want to do more of that is hard to do while also working.

CAN’T STOP LISTENING TO Social House - Magic in the Hamptons.

FAVORITE LOCAL SHOP ABC Carpet for gifts, Kidding Around for toys, Fish’s Eddy for kitchen goodies, Flying Tiger for play inspo.

FAVORITE LOCAL RESTAURANT Periyali in NYC. Out here, it’s a small restaurant called Beginnings.