January 2021 by Austin Woman Magazine

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CONTRIBUTORS This month, we asked our contributors: What lesson did you bring into 2021?

A PUBLICATION OF AW MEDIA INC.

VOLUME 20, ISSUE 6

ANNIE RAY Photographer, “Back in Action,” Page 34 • Her morning must-have is ice coffee.

DAWN WESTON

•W hen editing at home, she always has Dr. Phil on in the background.

Publisher

•B elow Deck is one of her guilty pleasures right now.

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Creative Director

Lesson: “Pivot and don’t be afraid to reach out. Believe in yourself to know how to get through tough times. Even if you don’t know how to move forward, you have to take that first step. Self-care and taking time for yourself is okay!”

CY WHITE

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INTERNS

•S he hates serious pictures, but still gave y’all one. • She grew up on animal and ghost stories. • She’s the opposite of tech savvy. Lesson: “Be kinder to yourself, and other people, because you don’t know what people are going through.”

KYLIE BIRCHFIELD

Aisling Ayers, Kylie Birchfield, Allie Justis, Anastasia Vastakis

Photographer, “Finding Balance,” Page 40 • She loves Korean BBQ. • She has lived in Austin for nine years. •S he will always choose the beach as her favorite getaway. Lesson: “Every day has value...make it count!”

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CY WHITE Writer, “Finding Balance,” Page 40 • She’s left-handed. •H er first cousin played Lavender in the movie Matilda.

Austin Woman is a free monthly publication of AW Media Inc. and is available at locations throughout Austin and in Lakeway, Cedar Park, Round Rock and Pflugerville. All rights reserved. To offer feedback, email feedback@awmediainc.com. For submission information, visit atxwoman.com/jobs. No part of the magazine may be reprinted or duplicated without permission. Visit us online at atxwoman.com. Email us at info@awmediainc.com. 512.328.2421 | 7401 West Slaughter Lane, Austin, TX 78739

•W hen she was 5, her favorite book was the Illustrated Classic Edition of The Wizard of Oz. Lesson: “I’ve learned the lesson of letting go.”

FROM THE PUBLISHER

Well, here we are. 2021. Does it feel different to you? I’m optimistic about the potential of the New Year. Looking back and taking stock of 2020 there were certainly highs and lows. There is no doubt we’re stronger on the other side. Even though we might not be there yet, we will be soon. Just hang in there a little longer, y’all. It’s our hope to ride alongside of you in 2021, providing the motivation of amazing women in our community who serve as examples. They remind us to grow during tough times and keep accelerating to reach our goals. Our goal is that every woman in Austin sees herself represented in our pages. To kick off the year, we’ve chosen to focus on those who teach us from the start. Moms. We speak to MJ Hegar in her first interview since the election about her campaign, plus where she’s heading next. We also chat with some mompreneurs who founded businesses with the desire to help other moms. Kate Payne shares ways to survive as a mom during a pandemic. And we talk about ways to get your side hustle on if you’re looking for some extra income. 2020 was a challenging year, but it’s in the rearview now. We’re curious, what will you do with your New Year? Email us at feedback@awmediainc.com and let us know what your resolutions are! We’d love to hear what your 2021 has in store. Cheers!

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Media Chica Paves the Way for Future Latina Journalists Media Chica is giving young Latina high schoolers a chance to think outside the box career-wise and go beyond cultural expectations. Adventure Girl: Pandemic Cocktail Edition Cocktail Culture in 2020 isn’t dead; it’s virtual. In this edition of Adventure Girl, Niki Jones takes her first shot of virtual cocktail competitions.

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WIN THIS! KATE PAYNE’S BESTSELLING BOOKS The name of the game is fresh. The only way to truly know that you’re getting the freshest and the best food for you and your family is to make it yourself. Luckily for us, Kate Payne has the tools for you to make that happen. For January’s Win This, you can get one copy each of Payne’s bestselling books Hip Girl’s Guide to Homemaking and Hip Girl’s Guide to the Kitchen! Enter to win by following @austinwoman on Instagram and stay on the lookout for the giveaway announcement. We’ll choose a winner by the end of the month.

16 | AUSTIN WOMAN | JANUARY 2021

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COUNT US IN

WOMEN IN NUMBERS

Motherhood takes different forms for the modern woman, especially in 2020. BY ALLIE JUSTIS ILLUSTRATIONS BY JESSICA WETTERER

24% In a 2020 poll of 4,400 adults conducted by Morning Consult, 24% said that money was a major reason they chose not to have a child. Of those adults, 38% were millennials who said they felt it was too expensive to raise a child.

23.5 Million

66.7%

In 2018, the U.S. Census Bureau found that 23.5 million women were working while also supporting children. A significant amount of working mothers have jobs within the educational system or the healthcare industry, both of which took a major hit during the pandemic.

Of the 23.5 million working mothers in America, two thirds of those women are also working full-time careers in addition to being mothers. However, women with children under 6 years old were found to make up less of the labor force, only making up 78% of fulltime working mothers.

80% In 2019, the U.S. Census Bureau said that out of 11 million single-parent households, 80% were headed by single mothers. Singlemother households are also more common for lowincome families, with about 30% of single mothers living in poverty in 2017.

18 | AUSTIN WOMAN | JANUARY 2021

$1,861 For women who continue to work after having the first child, the U.S. Census Bureau found there to be a temporary drop in earnings of about $1,861 on average in the first quarter after pregnancy, compared to a mother’s pre-pregnancy earnings.

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REDESIGN FOR THE BETTER

Kate Payne gives tips on how to embrace the New Year with grace and perspective. BY KATE PAYNE

ate Payne is a writer based outside of Elgin, Texas. She lives on 2 acres with her wife, their nearly fouryear-old daughter, several hairy pets and lots of visiting neighborhood chickens. She returned to Austin from Brooklyn 10 years ago, just as her first book, Hip Girl’s Guide to Homemaking (HarperCollins, 2011), was soon to be published. She followed that book with Hip Girl’s Guide to the Kitchen (HarperCollins, 2014). Creating connection and community is at the core of the Hip Girl’s platform. Since creating that space, Payne has taught hundreds, if not thousands, of people how to pickle, ferment, jam and preserve seasonal produce safely. Beyond teaching, she worked for many years with the Texas Farmers Market developing communications and marketing, then served as the group’s first executive director. In her current role at the Design Institute for Health within UT Austin’s Dell Medical School, she serves as team storyteller, translating design methods, mindsets and tools into stories illustrating the work of provoking systemic change in health through design. Similar to and oddly reminiscent of building community around making a space to feel at home, Payne felt it imperative to post images and discuss the real onthe-ground experience of working at home with small children as the pandemic rolled on. She unmasked the traditionally edited-for-Instagram space that is parenting and shares these five takeaways from her eight months of pandemic parenting.

IT’S OKAY TO NOT BE OKAY We can only hold so much. Sometimes we must break into a thousand pieces. Find the best way to do only what’s essential in times like these, compile food that will suffice for dinner, uphold boundaries around sleep, feed the dog. A friend shared the analogy of assessing which balls are rubber and which are glass so you can confidently drop a few for as long as you need. Outside of the pandemic, there are plenty of things in life that shatter us and require strategies for glueing ourselves back together. Whether that means walking ruts in the asphalt on your neighborhood streets or Marco Polo ranting to friends or seeking professional support, let go of the shame and expectation that you have to keep it all together. Find some relief in that space you allow yourself.

YOU ARE A PRIORITY. At the height of running a home preschool while also attempting to work my job remotely this summer, parenting became a series of triggering moments that activated shame and genuine concern about whether or not I was turning my child into a monster. My own dysregulation—having zero wind in my sails—was surfacing in how I showed up and provoked behaviors in my child that then triggered reactions in me that I didn’t feel proud of. Focusing on supporting my mental health and wellbeing and understanding the stress-response cycle (add Emily Nagoski’s books to your Audible list) became a necessary first step in turning that parenting ship around.

EVERYTHING CHANGES. Even my worst weeks did eventually come to an end. The seemingly long yet shortlived seasons of parenting hold so true in this crazy science experiment we find ourselves in now. Kids pass through developmental stages (read: holy-terrorizing times) and emerge unscathed on the other side. Emulate their resilience and willingness to direct their gaze solidly in the here and now that emerges.

EXPECT AWKWARD.

REDESIGN FOR THE BETTER. I can’t think of anything more urgent that this time invites us to do than rebuild our lives toward a more sustainable new normal. I don’t know about you, but if I look really hard at my life pre-pandemic, honestly, I wasn’t doing very well. I felt overwhelmed by the tug-of-war demands of work and mothering and the measly scraps left for well-being and social connection. What if I work from home a few days a week moving forward? What if I go for a walk during meetings when I don’t need to be at a computer? What if I work fewer hours; is job sharing an option? Asking these what-if questions now will help you create a new normal that will support you better as things evolve with the pandemic. 20 | AUSTIN WOMAN | JANUARY 2021

Photo by Jo Ann Santangelo.

None of us have flexed our social muscles regularly since none of us have anything resembling a normal life that includes interacting with others how we used to. Feeling rusty at communicating with other parents, friends even, at social-distance yard dates is to be expected and totally normal. Knowing that you and others are all in the same boat might help alleviate social anxiety after the better part of a year without friend engagement.

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THE RIGHT TO CHOOSE

Saffron Trust gives single mothers and their children the opportunity to experience the best.

Beggars can’t be choosers. Or so the phrase goes. However, to Phyllis Everette, founder of Saffron Trust Women's Foundation, choice isn’t a privilege set aside for a select few. Those who are most underserved have every right to luxuries society’s elite only deigns to have. Black mothers in particular, who face the unique circumstance of alarmingly high mortality rates during and post childbirth, should never have to beg for the right to live comfortably. Like many single mothers of color, Everette’s life was marred by heartbreak. “I raised three children single-handedly, no fathers around,” she says. “My oldest child, my son, his father left when he was a year old. Then seven years later, I got married and the guy I married was abusive. I left him after my daughter was a week old.” These experiences informed Everette’s life of service. She has a deep history of nonprofit work, including helping women in the Congo, Kosovo, Nigeria and Afghanistan through Women for Women International. When the New Jersey native eventually settled in Austin in 2016, she had no real understanding of the landscape of the area as far as nonprofits specific to Black and brown women and mothers. “I came here to work for Dell,” she says. “I worked there for two years, and a friend of mine who knew me from New Jersey and knew all the work I did introduced me to a nonprofit organization here in Austin that was a women’s health care organization. I became a program director for that organization...and had to learn everything there was about women’s health care. The first thing I stumbled upon was maternal mortality numbers in Austin and the amount of Black and brown women that were dying during childbirth.” The lack of real attention to single mothers of underserved communities raised serious alarm bells for Everette. “I could not sleep,” she says. “I read every article because I could not understand how the mortality numbers could be so high in a state that everybody says is the best place to live. I was like, 'Oh my god, I have to do something.'” Thus in 2018 she opened Saffron Trust Women's Foundation (a take on her pseudonym from her time writing for the Grit and Grace Project). Where Saffron Trust differs from most organizations is in how it addresses very real emotional, mental and physical strain. Known as the allostatic load, it’s a perpetual wear and tear on the body unique to Black women from an internalized and historical PTSD. The deaths of George Floyd and Breonna Taylor, the constant worry that when a loved one walks, jogs or drives somewhere they won’t come back. For Black women in the U.S., this is real trauma that never really dissipates. It’s this trauma Everette has tasked herself to not only address, but remedy. “Saffron Trust looks to reduce and create positive health outcomes in women of color,” she says. “We start with my signature platform: Trendsetting the Table. I partner with five22 | AUSTIN WOMAN | JANUARY 2021

star restaurants throughout Austin that open up their doors and feed women nutritional, healthy food that they prepare,” she continues. “It creates nutritional impact, community and a new beginning for women. That one event starts the wrap-around services and the resources we offer.” Everything from diapers, to sanitary products, to partnerships with the Austin Ballet—“So every Black woman who wants their children to experience the arts can have a chance”—Everette is dedicated to giving Black mothers the resources they need to ensure their families live comfortable, enriching lives. “People only think a woman needs help with her electric bill or her rent. But there’s a whole donut hole that people are not even looking at. Sanitary products aren’t even part of the antipoverty program.” A chance conversation with a friend of hers who worked for New Entry, a drug treatment and rehabilitation program that provides affordable residential options for those recovering, gave her another avenue to explore. “When I think about my struggle and the tears and the nights that I cried on my pillow,” she says, “I know what it means to get into bed on a cheap mattress or an air mattress and just wrap myself up in 600- to 800-thread count sheets, knowing that my children had a good night's sleep. I went straight to five-star hotels and said, ‘I need your bedding, don’t throw it away.’ Within a week, I was able to supply that program with enough linen for women to sleep on for the next two years.” Saffron Trust Women’s Foundation is predicated on the notion that Black single mothers shouldn’t have to choose between healthy meals and the dregs deposited in the various food deserts and swamps peppering lower-income neighborhoods in Austin, or sacrifice a good night’s rest for their children because they’re not given equitable resources. All of this work stems from the love a mother has for her children. “My children became my biggest heroes. They planted seeds in me to be a better woman. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for the three of them. It was the community, the advocacy and the resources that were available that helped propel them to be such leaders.” Phyliss Everette passes these on to other Black single mothers in Austin.

Photo courtesy of Phyllis Everette.

BY CY WHITE

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SPREAD SUNSHINE, NOT SHADE

With Rhae, Rachel Daugherty and Ashley Kriegel are determined to make shopping fun for every body. BY ANASTASIA VASTAKIS

You not only make that change—you change your life to embody that decision. That is exactly what Rachel Daugherty and Ashley Kriegel did when they created Rhae, an all-inclusive clothing brand. The two women met at Daugherty’s former business, Fine Healing Goods, and instantly connected over a shared bond: the journey to motherhood. The word “journey” is apt because that’s what it often is. Many people don’t think of the struggle women experience with motherhood. While many consider having a child the most beautiful gift, the process of getting there can often be difficult. This was the case for both Daugherty and Kriegel. “We realized we are both moms, we both always wanted to be moms and we both struggled with infertility. And we both ended up adopting a child. So we bonded over that, because it’s something where unless you have walked in those shoes it is difficult to relate,” Daugherty says. This story is part of what inspired the need to create Rhae. The store was created to not only make shopping an enjoyable experience for everyone, but to help these two women live the life they had dreamed of since they were young girls: being mothers first and foremost. “I’m lucky enough that I can do Rhae,” Daugherty says. “Still, Ashley and I said we are not going to work weekends, and if we can drop our kids off and work from 10 [a.m.] to 2 [p.m.] every day that’s awesome. How lucky are we? It’s not lost on us that it’s a privilege to have that flexibility, and a lot of people can’t do that.” Hustling and making money is great, but being able to do that while still raising their kids, and being with their families, and making women feel confident in their bodies is what makes Rhae a true gem. It’s important to feel good in one’s skin, clothes, body. Especially for those who have children. “I shouldn’t be cringing at my body,” Daugherty insists. “I should be celebrating it so my daughter sees that I’m happy. That was the inspiration. I want to do something that I love. I also don’t want to feel bad when I’m shopping.” Daugherty points out that while many companies preach that they are inclusive, their products don’t always match their message. Sometimes, the XXL will only come in limited colors, or certain skirts don’t take into consideration hips, or how bodies move when they walk. “It’s obvious to us, the shoppers, who are plus size, when something is not authentic,” she says. “It’s like, ‘Wow, that was an afterthought because no woman with hips would ever wear that skirt.’ So, that’s when we said we have to do something about this.” 24 | AUSTIN WOMAN | JANUARY 2021

If their tagline “spread sunshine not shade” isn’t apparent enough, Rhae is all about making women feel comfortable in their bodies, starting with the clothes they wear. Daugherty and Kriegel are helping to address the need for inclusivity in the fashion industry. And they’re doing it while also spreading the message of body positivity as powerful women and mothers.

Photo by Paige Newton.

What do you do if you see the need for a change in your life?

2020 is in the rearview mirror and we are looking forward to a bright 2021 and our 50th year!

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Maybe she is too frightened to ask for help. A groundbreaking study from the University of Texas estimates over 79,000 minors and teenagers in Texas today are victims of sex trafficking. These children need help. Austin Oral Surgery ~ together with area dental professionals ~ are working to identify these victims of child sex trafficking and you can help. Be on the lookout for: •

Visible injuries, scars

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Evidence of being controlled

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Scripted or memorized history

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Appearance younger than stated age

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Subordinate, hyper-vigilant, or fearful behavior

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If you suspect someone is a victim of sex trafficking, call The National Human Trafficking Resources Center 888.373.7888 or text HELP or INFO to 233733 for discreet help. For more information, go to Bethe1Educate1Save1.com

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Real Estate in Austin is booming. Here are some of our 2020 highlights: • $63M in sales • 120 homes sold • Platinum Top 50 Winner • Average Sale Price: $530,000 • Largest Sale: $3.5M • Welcomed 2 new agents in 2020 and 2 more agents starting in January 2021 Please contact our team to discuss your home buying and selling plans for 2021.

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D O R O T H Y PA R A D E S

FOUNDER & AUTHOR OF 26 & FU¢KED

orothy Paredes’ experiences as a three-time cancer thriver gave her the drive to found The Atrium Foundation, whose mission is to help people thrive through their journey of survivorship. The foundation also aims to bring awareness of the emotional trauma cancer survivors and their families endure to drive change at the heart of oncology care plans to include mental health and wellness. A native Austinite, she graduated from St. Edward's University with a Bachelor of Science in Business & Management and is a technology program manager. She is an advocate for breast and ovarian cancer awareness, where as a volunteer for organizations such as the KK125 Ovarian Cancer Foundation, the Breast Cancer Resource Center and Susan G. Komen, she has given public testimony, raised funds and volunteered to support their missions. She is open for speaking engagements or attending support group sessions. dorothyparedes.com

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H E L E N B O H U S L AV

OWNER, UNCLUT TERED AUSTIN

fter 10 years as a licensed social worker and the birth of two beautiful (and energetic) boys, Helen Bohuslav decided it was time to pursue her passion for organizing. Uncluttered Austin was founded in 2019 and offers a variety of options to add organization and improved function to your home, office or any space you can dream up. Bohuslav believes that these services don't have to be a luxury indulgence and strives to ensure her business is tailored to the everyday consumer, making professional organizing accessible to all. She focuses on giving back to the community, donating proceeds from every project toward a local organization and supporting women in business. Life can get a little messy...let Uncluttered Austin bring some much-needed structure (and sanity) to your busy world! unclutteredaustin.com

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SUMMER URBANCZYK

C H I E F N U R S I N G O F F I C E R , A DVA N C E D PA I N CA R E

ummer Urbanczyk is the chief nursing officer for Advanced Pain Care, Advanced Surgical Center: Round Rock and Advanced Surgical Center: Amarillo. In 2017, Urbanczyk joined Advanced Pain Care in a nurse practitioner role. Advanced Pain Care is a physician-led organization that provides comprehensive multidisciplinary programs including pain management, orthopedics, neurosurgery, rheumatology, behavioral health and addictionology. In 2018, she was promoted to chief nursing officer where she utilizes her leadership to manage the clinical teams of two ambulatory surgery centers—two in-office procedure suites—and she is currently helping develop a third. She has assisted in the company’s growth by aiding in the expansion of neurosurgery and orthopedic departments. Her surgery centers have become the industry leaders for minimally invasive procedures known as spinal cord stimulation and outpatient total knee replacements. Outside of work she enjoys spending time with her husband and three kids. austinpaindoctor.com

30 | AUSTIN | JANUARY 2021 30 SPECIAL WOMAN PROMOTION | ATXWOMAN.COM

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LISA RUSSELL

PRESIDENT AND OWNER, WEST CHELSEA CONTEMPORARY

isa Russell was born in the small border town of Nogales, Arizona, and raised in Beverly Hills, California. She grew up surrounded by beautiful things as her mother was an interior designer, her father an art collector and her grandmother an artist. After moving to Austin in 2002, she found the perfect alliance in business and art when she decided to open Russell Collection Fine Art Gallery with the help of an art mentor. In 2003, New York Times called the Russell Collection “Austin’s most exclusive gallery,” which has featured works by artists such as Picasso, Matisse, Chagall and many more. Over the last ten years, the brand has transitioned to West Chelsea Contemporary featuring exclusively contemporary works. When she isn’t running day-to-day operations of the gallery, she spends time with her husband and two children. Russell was a finalist in Austin Business Journal’s Women of Influence in the 17th Annual Central Texas Profiles in Power. wcc.art/staff

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REN NEWEY

en years ago Ren Newey was planning her wedding when lightning struck the venue of her dreams and burned it to the ground months before the big day. That experience sparked her interest in the industry and led to a 10-year career as a luxury wedding planner and overall events guru. In 2020, she pivoted again, creating a platform that provides free virtual tours of wedding venues with an interactive budget calculator. “Booking your wedding venue can be an overwhelming process,” Newey explains. “Couples are navigating uncomfortable budget discussions and feel pressure to make decisions quickly. Add distance, time constraints and a pandemic to the mix. All of a sudden wedding planning is more fight than fun.” Wedding Scout empowers couples to make an informed decision on this big one-time investment. Local professionals guide couples through the ins and outs of comparing venues so they can decide with confidence and start having fun! weddingscout.com

32 | | AUSTIN WOMAN | JANUARY 2021 32 SPECIAL PROMOTION | ATXWOMAN.COM

Photo courtesy of Amy Weiss Photography.

FOUNDER, WEDDING SCOUT

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34 |â&#x20AC;&#x201A; AUSTIN WOMAN | JANUARY 2021

BACK IN

ACTION

In her first interview since the election, military hero and mom of two MJ Hegar talks about why it’s always time to act. BY JENNY HOFF, PHOTOS BY ANNIE RAY

J Hegar has a laundry list of incredible accomplishments, each in their own right worthy of a blockbuster film—which happens to be currently in the works. But it’s how she handles setbacks that might be her most remarkable trait—and the secret to her success. “It’s all about what is the goal,” says Hegar, relaxing on a Saturday morning in her Round Rock home, currently strewn with holiday decorations. Pictures of her two sons adorn the walls in addition to intriguing landscapes that Hegar painted herself during some down time learning art online through Bob Ross videos. They don’t hang far from the displayed door of the chopper she was flying the day she was shot at by the Taliban. “Sometimes you feel like there is only one way to accomplish something, but there are always other ways. The ability to stick to it is crucial.” This is Hegar’s first interview since losing the Senate race to longtime incumbent, Republican Senator John Cornyn. With so many successes under her belt—earning the Purple Heart and being one of only a few women, including Amelia Earhart, to earn the Distinguished Flying Cross; suing the Department of Defense and successfully overturning a rule prohibiting women from certain military leadership positions; and writing a bestselling memoir, Shoot Like a Girl, which is currently in the works to become a movie—a loss, especially one so public, might hit particularly hard for a woman who has accomplished almost everything she has ever set out to do. It turns out that taking a perceived failure and turning it into a resounding success is what MJ Hegar does best. Growing up north of Austin, she dreamed of being a pilot after watching her idol Han Solo defeat the Empire with his brazen and fearless style. While at the University of Texas Austin, she served as Vice Wing Commander of Detachment 825 Air Force ROTC and Deputy Commander of the Arnold Air Society, showing her dedication, hard work and leadership skills. With her life plan laid

before her and following every step necessary to make it happen, Hegar was shocked and disheartened when she didn’t get commissioned for pilot training upon graduation. She was also undeterred. “I had been taught that whatever you were commissioned as, that’s your job,” she recounts. “It was crushing. But my refusal to accept failure kicked in. I asked if there was any other way to become a pilot. They said, ‘Yes, but it’s a 1% chance.’ I said, ‘Great, I’ll take it!’” Hegar went on to work for aircraft maintenance and suffered a total of five rejections for the pilot program before finally succeeding, several years after graduation. She ended up completing the program top of her class and went on to serve on three tours of duty in Afghanistan. When asked who has helped her along the way and mentored her through the ups and downs of military life, Hegar doesn’t hesitate with her response. “The first person I think of is Rhys, who was my commanding officer when I got shot down.”

Shot Down, But Not Defeated MJ Hegar met Colonel Rhys Hunt in Afghanistan in 2007, when she was one of the few people offering to do back-toback rotations, performing seven to nine medevac missions per day. In 2009, Hunt was in the operations center as her commanding officer when Hegar was shot at during a searchand-rescue mission near Kandahar. Despite her wounds, she continued to fly and rescued the soldiers in need of her help. Finally, the gunfire forced her to make an emergency landing. When it was her turn to be rescued, the chopper was too full, so she strapped herself to the skids and took off, still shooting back at the Taliban to help protect her crew. ATXWOMAN.COM | 35 ATXWOMAN.COM | 35

“I really attribute the saving of those lives to her. In my book, she saved the day,” says Hunt, who was also awarded the Distinguished Flying Cross and is now retired from his 28-year military career. “There were so many times she could [have] throw[n] in the towel, but she didn’t. I think her whole life has been one fight or another, for better or worse.” Anyone familiar with MJ Hegar’s story, either from her book, her campaign videos or the numerous media interviews she’s done over the years, may already know about her early years, when she witnessed her father abusing her mother before they finally struck out on their own, the sexual assault she survived while in the military and her fight against the Pentagon for equal rights for women. While her tattoos and tough talk have been the source of social media fodder, Hunt says the more interesting juxtaposition to her fearless reputation is her deep sensitivity. “She is sensitive in a way that means she pays attention, she sits and she listens,” says Hunt. “She really deeply cares. I think that is one of her shining characteristics that people don’t get to see as much unless they spend time with her.” Most people don’t have to think about their personal brand or the 30-second elevator pitch of who they are and what they value unless they’re running for public office, where policy positions are reduced to short soundbites and personal integrity is constantly at battle with who can sling mud the fastest and farthest. For Hegar, it was especially tough, trying to simultaneously appeal to historically Republican voters with her military career and bravery, push the Democratic policy issues she cared most about—healthcare access and children on the border—while also facing criticism from the more progressive branches of the party for being too much of an Ann Richards-style Democrat rather than an Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. All this while showing her sensitive side as a mother of two small boys along with protecting them from the ugliness that political campaigns inevitably bring. “People used to ask me, ‘What is this like for your kids?’ It was almost judgemental, like you’re a bad mom because you’re running,” recalls Hegar. “But this is the ultimate expression of being a good mom. I’m out trying to bubble tape all the sharp corners in the world. We owe our kids a better foreign-policy environment, a better education, a world where they can breathe the air and drink the water.” One thing Hegar says she refuses to shy away from is the truth. She believes including her children in the process of running for office helped show them how democracy works, how it’s not always pretty, but how it’s crucial to making change. She’s also honest about the toll campaigning can take on a family and its

“”

finances. She’s been campaigning for three years straight (her first campaign was against incumbent Rep. John Carter, which she lost by only 3 points) and was lucky enough to work as a public speaker to help pay the bills, since the time it takes to run a campaign makes it virtually impossible to hold a normal 9-to5 job. In the midst of a pandemic, speaking engagements have dried up and Hegar says her next step is finding work that can both accomplish the goals she set out to solve as a legislator and help put food on her family’s table. “It’s just wild how she is like a tornado of getting s*** done,” says her husband of nine years and biggest supporter, Brandon Hegar. “She is strong, capable, beautiful and powerful. It’s a crazy ride and I love it.” MJ and Brandon’s love story is also about second chances. Knowing each other since elementary school, Brandon Hegar says he developed his first crush on her when she was auditioning for school mascot in middle school. “The whole goal was for her to find this stuffed animal she had hidden in the crowd,” he says, laughing. “She got closer and closer to me and I was getting excited. It ended up she had hidden it next to my best friend. Heartbreak, of course, followed.” While it never materialized into a romance when they were teens, MJ had left her mark on him. After he married and divorced and she survived three missions in Afghanistan, they ran into each other again and found they had much more in common than a shared childhood. “She pulled up in this crazy purple Dodge Challenger, which is totally her,” he recalls. “The more we talked, the more I fell for her. It was like a dream.” While Brandon Hegar says his wife is an adrenaline junkie, who is not afraid to confront danger (“She is definitely Han Solo; I’m more like R2- D2,” he jokes), it’s actually her patience and pragmatism that leads her decisions, rather than immediate action. It’s a quality that struck her friend and political advisor, Elizabeth Bray, as she watched MJ campaign. She recalls one event where a Republican tracker showed up (trackers follow everything a candidate for the opposing party does and says and records it) and was impressed when she saw MJ telling her supporters to give him his space and respect him. “Anyone who wishes to see behavior in others is wise to model that behavior,” says Bray. “She was modeling the behavior she would wish to see. That takes strength and integrity. I think most people duck the problem and don’t address it. I’ve never seen MJ duck any problem.”

I just saw the need for change.

36 | AUSTIN WOMAN | JANUARY 2021

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You’ve pivoted in your life many times, from your military career, to working in the private sector in healthcare, to now the public sphere with politics. What do you say to other women who are looking to pivot but aren’t sure they can? “Find someone who is doing the job you don’t think you are qualified for and see how much more qualified you are than them. Capitalize on your strengths. So much professional development is to work on your weaknesses and not capitalizing on your greatest assets. Be self-reflective, but don’t run away from who you are and capitalize on your strengths.” What advice would you give to other women who want to get more involved in politics?

Bray says while Hegar’s style impressed her during the campaign, what astounded her the most was her reaction after the election. “She said to me, ‘My entire life, I have shown up when I was called to serve. This is akin to my first failure to become a pilot. I spent two and a half years on aircraft maintenance. Had I not understood the aircraft like that, I would have died in Afghanistan. I was called to run, I did my job and there was a reason I wasn’t elected. In the fullness of time, I will know.’”

“I think the antidote to feeling overwhelmed or drowning is action. It doesn’t have to be action that succeeds; it just needs to be action. Get involved in an organization or take a training session through Annie’s List. They’re great at teaching you what it takes to run for office. Don’t give up on who you are to be who you think you should be.”

Taking the next step

“It’s not about the destination; you just have to keep going. After my book came out, a 25-year-old sent me an email and said she failed as a pilot and my book would sit on her shelf, reminding her of what could have been. That made me so sad. At her age, I still had two years of rejection ahead of me before becoming a pilot. You just have to keep at it. Find another way.”

Hegar doesn’t plan on running for public office again, at least not anytime soon, but she still has her eye on fixing the problems that made her run in the first place. “I never dreamed of being a senator,” she says. “I just saw the need for change. I would love to work with the State Department or the U.N. I believe diplomacy is the military’s first line of defense.” Most importantly, Hegar says she plans to make use of the life she was able to keep that day in Afghanistan. The world doesn’t always hand you second chances, but when it does, MJ Hegar believes it’s to take a route even more extraordinary than you could have imagined. That starts with refusing to give up. “I don’t think dealing with rejection necessarily helps you, but I think it says a lot about who you are,” she says. “You can’t make yourself be a pilot or get published, but you can make yourself be a person who doesn’t take no for an answer.”

38 | AUSTIN WOMAN | JANUARY 2021

What advice would you give to someone who has been rejected and feels like the goal is unattainable?

ATXWOMAN.COM |â&#x20AC;&#x201A; 39

FINDING BALANCE

Four mompreneurs with different paths to success explain how motherhood and business is all a balancing act. BY CY WHITE PHOTOS BY KYLIE BIRCHFIELD AND PAIGE NEWTON

atience. If there’s one thing 2020 has taught us, it’s that patience is indeed a virtue. So much of the year was spent distancing and isolating that trying to balance inner peace with the need to interact with other people has been a struggle. However, these four mothers used the pandemic as an opportunity to create or amplify their businesses and bring some much-needed perspective. Each woman has a unique impetus for opening her business. Beth Heyer started Babysitting Connection in January of last year, just as whispers of a new SARS or upgraded influenza virus started making traction in the public consciousness. Heyer’s goal has always been to help mothers. Being a mother herself, it wasn’t too much of a stretch for her to fill a void. Especially when the outbreak hit pandemic levels and wave after wave of new cases and astronomical spikes of infection crashed into Austin like a tsunami. “There are so many working families here that I just saw the need for a simple, easy way to have quality care in your home,” Heyer says. “On May 1, when the governor first changed the orders to reopen restaurants, it was instant. We just took off. We went from having a package that was three sits a month and five sits a month to a 10 sits a month package and an unlimited sits a month package. Those were instantly our most popular. We started doing what I call ‘consistent care’: matching families with sitters who wanted someone in their home 12-40 hours a week consistently, the same sitter. The pandemic made me think about my business in different ways that I wouldn’t have otherwise.” Meanwhile, Sara Hussey, who started her PR firm, SHPR, in 2013 and had her first child in 2018, fell into the PR business fresh out of college. She got her first taste of the industry writing for a Western lifestyle marketing agency in Fort Worth. “Then the 2008 recession happened,” she says. “I was laid off after about a year on the job. I took some time off from PR and moved to California with my husband. When I moved back to Austin, I was what I like to call a ‘permalancer.’ I was doing a whole lot of freelance jobs that are kind of typical of your mid-20s. One of them was wardrobe styling with my sister. We were working with all the magazines in Austin and creating really good relationships with the editors as well as the stores we were pulling from. Every time I would pull from a store, they had all these questions about how to get into a magazine. So I thought I could use my experience at the Western marketing agency and my connections that I’ve made while working as a wardrobe stylist to sort of start my own PR agency.” 40 | AUSTIN WOMAN | JANUARY 2021

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I really enjoy being able to show them a working mom and that they know that it’s my business. —Beth Heyer

What advice would you give yourself back when you began this journey of motherhood/ business owner?

Photo by Kylie Birchfield.

“I heard this phrase lately that basically said, ‘Don’t expect fireworks when you’re just starting the fire.’ I spent a lot of time beating myself up for not having the fireworks. As a small-business owner, every review, every piece of feedback, every single text from a member and text from a sitter is just so encouraging that we are doing the right thing. [I’d tell myself to] lower my expectations a bit and just realize that I’m in this for the long haul. Hav[e] some patience and [don’t] get so worked up over tiny failures.” —Beth Heyer

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“Things always take longer than you expect, so plan for that and try to be as kind to yourself as you would be to others.” —KC McDaniel (on left) 42 | AUSTIN WOMAN | JANUARY 2021

Photo by Kylie Birchfield.

What advice would you give yourself back when you began this journey of motherhood/ business owner?

KC McDaniel reveals she and her mother, Jill, founded Conscious Goods in 2016 to fulfill “a particular need of a family member or friend.” “I didn’t love the career I had,” McDaniel says. “But making natural products that brought relief, comfort or joy to others, that is my passion. My love of the planet, caring for people and the desire to make sustainable more attainable is the root of everything at Conscious Goods.” As with the other mompreneurs here, Cristina Facundo saw a void she could fill in her community and translated that into multiple businesses. “Love Child was started when I was navigating motherhood for the first time,” she says. “Mini Market was started out of frustration that I could no longer support small businesses in the same way because shopping at more than one store was difficult with small kids in tow. I co-founded Current Conference after my sister and I felt like there was a void in big events where being a mother and entrepreneur stood.” They all had to navigate business and motherhood. It’s all a game of balance, finding the perfect combination of mother and businesswoman to ensure their families’ needs are met and that their clients get the attention they need. “As a single mom of three boys, family has to come first,” McDaniel says. “There is no one else to pick up the slack. So I find I have to be very organized in my approach, and sometimes the middle of the night is when I finally get enough uninterrupted quiet time to finish business projects.” Hussey adds, “Definitely with my first [child] there was a huge balance trying to figure out how to be a mom and how to have my own business. I had so much mom guilt that I wasn’t able to be with her, and I missed her, but then when I was working I loved my job, I loved my clients. By the time number two came, I had struck a good balance and realized I can be away from my child and it doesn’t mean that I’m a bad mom.” This need for both balance and patience in the time of COVID-19 certainly introduced unique challenges these mothers had never encountered. Hussey struggled to maintain connections with her beloved clients after coming back from maternity leave. As with so many small-business owners, the social effects of COVID-19 only exacerbated that fight. “In the media world there is so much turnover and things change so quickly,” she says. “When I got out of maternity leave, it felt like all the editors were different. How do I make sure I’m legitimate and that my clients are worthy of their time if there aren’t events and there aren’t happy hours and there aren’t all these opportunities to create relationships?” Heyer had the exact opposite problem, namely of how to fill catapulting demand. “There’s just so many people now who don’t feel comfortable sending their kids to school, who don’t feel comfortable sending their kids to daycare, who are working from home [with kids] who need care,” she says. “I got COVID in June,” she continues. “My husband’s a physician, so we weighed the risk factors and we knew to stay sane as a family and for us to continue to generate income we had to make a decision to send the kids to school. You continue to question that. It’s a truly insane time for parents, managing the best decisions and being kind of forced to make some decisions we hoped we wouldn’t have had to make.” It’s a tightrope act—the constant struggle between the weight of protecting one’s family and ensuring your business stays afloat. The rigors of being your own boss and providing an example for your children. “Flexibility,” Facundo says of how she approaches running a business. “Mothers are busy and often overwhelmed with [the] day-to-day. [I provide] convenience, community and…time for mothers to be women, to be individuals, to lean into themselves.” “I would never bring someone on our team that I would not let into my own home to watch my children,” Heyer insists, her fierce protectiveness an effect of her role as a mother. “I have about 55 sitters now, and I’d hire every single one of them. But there are going to be certain sitters that are better for me and better for my family and better for my kids. It’s very important to me that I do put these families first and those sitters first too. Being able to provide a diverse background of sitters

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More than anything I think motherhood intensified how I look at our actions in business. —KC McDaniel

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I love being an entrepreneur and love being a mother, and I have never felt like I had to pick. —Cristina Facundo

and different options for families is very important to me. This business is me, and it’s my reputation, and I’m not going to risk bringing on someone who I don’t think is up to par.” Says McDaniel, “More than anything I think motherhood intensified how I look at our actions in business. With Conscious Goods I’m concerned with how our ingredients are harvested, by whom, if there is child labor or slave trade involved and how those ingredients affect the planet. It’s not enough that things are natural and organic. We don’t want the products we make to come from harming other people or the planet. I’m concerned about what kind of planet I’m leaving for the next generations.” Much of what makes these women’s journeys so incredible is that society still clings to certain expectations for women in general, mothers in particular. Of course, these unrealistic demands on womanhood (and by extension motherhood) result in a variety of misconceptions about how mothers function as successful businesswomen. Many of these misconceptions are questions of focus and time. “I think a lot of people think a mom gets distracted when she’s at work,” says Hussey. “Maybe they have so many other things going on that they can’t fully commit or fully focus on the projects. I feel like it’s the complete opposite. Especially post-COVID, I feel like working is not so much a privilege, but more like something that I get to do. So many people are out of work right now who physically aren’t able to because their work is in a position that might make them susceptible to COVID. I’m in a position where I can still work, and I really enjoy working, so when I get the opportunity to do it, I am 100% so focused, so excited to learn and create and be a huge support to my clients.” “That you get to clock out,” says Heyer. “I got a text from a member one night at 8:30 [p.m.]. I’d already put myself to bed; I’d put my kids to bed. This member texted me and told me, ‘I think I’m going to have to go back to the ER. Can you get a sitter tonight?’ I got a sitter for her within an hour. It’s a lot of work, let me tell you. I drop my kids off at school at 7:30 in the morning, I’m working at 8, I pick them up at 5. Then when my kids go to bed at 8, I keep working. So even if I’m not on the clock with Babysitting Connection, I’m on the clock as a parent.” But there are also notions of what a business-owning mother can and cannot have. Heyer continues, “I don’t think you can have it all. I think you have to figure out the balance for you and what’s going to make you happy, what’s going to make your family happy and what’s going to make your children grow up to be good humans.” “That you have to choose one or the other,” says Facundo. “I love being an entrepreneur and love being a mother, and I have never felt like I had to pick. Being a mother makes me a better business owner, and vice versa.” At the end of the day, however, each of these mompreneurs has one goal: giving their children the best future they can. This includes teaching them what true happiness really means. “My daughter is four, and I call her my assistant manager,” says Heyer. “She’ll sit down with me and read [the sitters’] bios and she’ll pick the one she wants to sit for her. I really enjoy being able to show them a working mom and that they know that it’s my business. But I’m also really continuing to work on finding that balance. Showing them that you don’t need to work all the time and you do need to take time off for your family and just a mental health break.” “Success comes from doing what you love and being kind,” McDaniel adds. “The main messages I am trying to pass down to my children are to explore, have fun and be kind.” Says Hussey. “You can’t compare yourself to other people in your field. You just have to keep doing the work that you love, doing work that brings you joy, and it will bring you success.” 44 | AUSTIN WOMAN | JANUARY 2021

What advice would you give yourself back when you began this journey of motherhood/business owner?

Photo by Paige Newton.

“To not worry about the future of your business. You’ll find your stride in work and motherhood and your business will change to fit your life for the better.” —Cristina Facundo (on left) “Give yourself grace. Before I had [my daughter], my business was peaking, I had so many clients that I loved and two part-time assistants. When I was on maternity leave, all my clients left. So when I came back to work I was basically starting from scratch. I was so nervous that I would not be able to rebuild my business that I was kind of forcing it. I was taking on so much work and saying yes to every single opportunity while also trying to be with my daughter as much as possible. I think now…if it’s not a ‘Hell yes!’ it’s a ‘No.’ Focus on the few things and do them really well, and hopefully those few things bring you lots of joy.” —Sara Hussey ATXWOMAN.COM | 45

RECIPE REVEAL

GOOD FOR THE SEASON, GOOD FOR THE TIMES

Sweet Pea Delivery delivers healthy, fun and fresh school lunches to the doorsteps of kids stuck at home during the pandemic. BY ALLIE JUSTIS

is pioneering a new frontier during the pandemic by bringing school lunches to doorsteps across Austin. Since getting its start in the fall, Sweet Pea has helped working parents by taking the guesswork of making their kids’ lunches off their plates. When the pandemic saw an increase in homeschooled and distance-learning students, Fabian saw an opportunity to help struggling parents by bringing her extensive culinary knowledge to the table. “I’ve been in the food industry since I was 15. It’s what I know,” says Fabian. “Parents are accustomed to sending their kids off to school and not having to handle making their lunches, so I figured there would be a good opportunity here to help out other parents.” Before COVID-19, Fabian lived in Brooklyn, but when the pandemic hit she packed up shop and moved down to Austin to get into the city’s food scene. It was hard for her to find a job in the food industry because of the craziness, and her boyfriend’s kids were out of school, making it even harder for their household to cope. While the kids were out of school and Fabian was making all of their food, she thought about how working parents might also be struggling to keep up. An important aspect of Sweet Pea is that it provides healthy food for kids to eat so they develop good eating habits from an early age. Fabian says the most important part of her job is making sure that kids are getting away from “factory food” that’s full of preservatives. “That’s how they’re going to feed themselves when they get old enough to do so,” says Fabian. “Wholesome food just tastes better than highly processed, high-sodium, mystery-meat foods. We’re serving real food; we’re avoiding allergens; we’re delivering directly to parents and to their doorsteps; it’s made fresh from scratch,” she continues. “It’s definitely not factory food. It’s food specifically designed for children like spaghetti and turkey meatballs, barbecue chicken. And we always make it fun.” With Sweet Pea’s success in the fall, Fabian is hoping to launch a breakfast service for the spring semester as well. “What makes us special is that no one else is doing this,” says 46 | AUSTIN WOMAN | JANUARY 2021

Fabian. “No one else is delivering student lunches directly to their homes and to their doorstep. It’s incredibly convenient for parents and there’s no competition.” Fabian chose to share her Chicken Tortilla Soup recipe because it is the most popular lunch they made during the fall semester. “There’s definitely a good trick that we use in the Sweet Pea kitchen to make sure the chicken doesn’t dry out too quickly or overcook,” says Fabian. “We poach our chicken and add all the spices and seasonings into the water with it on high heat until it comes to a simmer and then immediately kill the heat. If you nail the poaching process, you’re going to end up with meat that is just falling apart tender. “Cooking for me is more of an art rather than a science,” she says. “It’s definitely a labor of love. We like to do hidden vegetables in our meals for the kids. The soup is really tasty and really comforting, which is good for the season and good for the times.”

Photo courtesy of Nicole Fabian.

Nicole Fabian, the owner and founder of Sweet Pea Delivery,

SWEET PEA’S CHICKEN TORTILLA SOUP Serving Size: 4-6 bowls

Ingredients

Directions

8 corn tortillas, cut into 1/4-inch strips

1. Preheat the oven to 400°.

2 tablespoons avocado oil

2. Toss tortilla strips in 2 tablespoons avocado oil.

12 cups water or salt-free chicken stock

3. Spread the tortilla strips on a large baking sheet and bake for 15 minutes.

4 boneless, skinless chicken thighs

4. Put the water or stock in a pot with the chicken thighs over high heat. Bring to a boil and immediately lower the heat so it comes to a very gentle simmer. Skim any impurities off the surface, and then go jump on that conference call.

1 onion, diced into small cubes 4 cloves garlic, finely chopped 2 tablespoons tomato paste 1 14.5-oz can diced tomatoes 1/2 teaspoon dried Mexican oregano 1 teaspoon cumin 1/2 teaspoon chili powder (or to taste) 1 1/2 teaspoon salt (or to taste) Pinch black pepper 2 limes, juiced

6. O nce the chicken is removed from the pot and cool enough to handle, pull it apart into bite-size shreds. Add the chicken back to the pot along with the onion, garlic, tomato paste, diced tomatoes, oregano, cumin, chili powder and half of the baked tortilla strips. Turn the heat to medium and go check your email. 7. After 1.5 hours (or whenever you’ve got your inbox under control), add the salt, pepper and lime juice to the soup. Taste and adjust seasonings as preferred. Ladle the soup into bowls and garnish with the remaining tortilla strips, slices of avocado and queso fresco.

Photo by Violeta Alvarez.

Avocado and queso fresco, to garnish

5. After an hour (or whenever the call ends), pull a piece of chicken out of the pot with tongs. If it falls apart as you do so, the chicken is cooked and can be removed from the liquid. Otherwise, continue simmering the chicken until it is adequately tender.

ATXWOMAN.COM | 47

ON THE MONEY

MOM BOSS

These tips will help you to get ahead of the game as a stay-at-home parent. BY JENNY HOFF

There is no greater hustler than a stay-at-home parent. The job requires juggling multiple tasks, coming up with brilliant ideas at the drop of a hat and figuring out how to sell the idea to small, sometimes skeptical, often highly emotional humans. While the skills required for this job are akin to that of some of the most highly sought-after CEOs, they’re hard to articulate on a resume once you’re ready to get back to the paid workforce. Taking time out to parent full-time can feel like a career killer, but it doesn’t have to be. The first step, says Lisen Stromberg, author of Work Pause Thrive: How to Pause for Parenthood Without Killing Your Career, is considering the break for your career as just that, a break. “What I saw in my research was the most successful women who were able to work, pause and thrive were women who never lost the concept of themselves as professionals,” says Stromberg. “They always maintained their network, they always nurtured their careers and they always kept their skills alive either by going online and being trained or doing really smart, strategic volunteering.” Many top-name universities offer online programs, sometimes for free or for a small fee with included certifications, that can help you keep your skills relevant for the current workplace demands or pivot into a new field. If volunteering,

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choose an organization where in addition to helping a good cause, you may also develop important contacts who can help you re-enter the paid workforce once your schedule allows. If you want to keep your skills sharp but also make money, there are multiple online forums for freelancers to make extra cash. Check out Upwork and Guru for opportunities to connect with businesses that may need your skills for temporary projects. “A number of women we interviewed actually found that it was their very pause and the work they did while they were on pause that inspired their new career,” says Stromberg. The most important finding, however, was women did not re-enter the workforce typically through applying randomly for jobs on Indeed. Rather they did so through their network, one Stromberg says is important to grow and cultivate during a career pause. This can be done through volunteering, reaching out to people in the field you plan to enter and asking for their mentorship, connecting with other parents at your children’s school and reconnecting with old friends and acquaintances through social media sites. When you’re ready to re-enter the workforce, you will have established relationships with people who may be able to help. Some companies even offer midcareer internships for people looking to re-enter the workforce. Whatever company you end up working for should also support your new needs as a parent. Websites like Fairygodboss provide valuable information on companies that are supportive of women and parents, allowing for flexibility and remote work options. You may end up finding that your parent-pause is the perfect launching pad to a career that both incorporates your passions and values your skills.

If you want to keep your skills sharp but also make money, there are multiple online forums for freelancers to make extra cash.

48 | AUSTIN WOMAN | JANUARY 2021