Debate Issue 24, 2010 by Debate Magazine

issue 24 2010 I

Paul henry: Ratings or racist?

issue 24 2010

something for the guys

october odyssey preview

internet memes

this issue of

on the cover Graffiti Hayley McGehan

editor

Samantha McQueen samantha.mcqueen@aut.ac.nz

designer

Nonavee Dale nonavee.dale@aut.ac.nz Deanne Antao

sub editor

Jared Van Huenen

contributors

advertising contact Kate Campbell kate.campbell@aut.ac.nz

printer

PMP Print Ltd.

This publication is entitled to the full protection given by the Copyright Act 1994 (“the Act”) to the holders of the copyright, being AUCKLAND STUDENT MOVEMENT AT AUCKLAND UNIVERSITY OF TECHNOLOGY INCORPORATED (“AuSM”). Reproduction, storage or display of any part of this publication by any process, electronic or otherwise (except for the educational purposes specified in the Act) without express permission is a break of the copyright of the publisher and will be prosecuted accordingly. Inquiries seeking permission to reproduce should be addressed to AuSM.

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Material contained in this publication does not necessarily represent the views or opinions of AuSM, its advertisers, contributors, PMP Print or its subsidiaries.

debate is a member of

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AuSM – Auckland Student Movement @ AUT (Inc.)

ISSUE 24

4 AuSM Gig Guide 5 Editorial 6 Letters 8 Creative Corner 10 Sport 11 How To / Recipe 12 Prez Sez / AuSM Update 13 GST debate 14 America vs. NZ / Celebrities on Twitter 15 Bass Odyssey Preview 16 Shipbreaker rant 17 Internet Memes 18 Something for the Guys 19 Paul Henry 21 The Golden Ratio 22 Big Day Out Wishlist 23 It Gets Better / Retail Review 24 Columns 25 Agony Aunt / Website of the Week 26 Suggestions / Horoscopes 27 What are you wearing? 28 Fashion 29 Reviews 32 Movie Promo 33 Spot the Difference 34 Micro-celebs

• 10% permanent student discount* • We buy and sell second-hand textbooks* - instant cash if you sell • Over 100,000 books in stock* - no waiting weeks for books to arrive • Four stores Auckland wide • Open Monday to Friday or buy securely from our website 24/7

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City Campus Phone 366 4550 Fax 366 4570 Email aut.city@ubsbooks.co.nz

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Monday 11 October AuSM SGM at Marae Free Pizza from 12pm All AUT students welcome Free Feed: Manukau Monteiths Monday at Vesbar, free pool from 6pm Tuesday 12 October Free Feed + Sausage Eating Competition 12pm North Shore Vesbar Pub Quiz 6pm Win bar tabs and spot prizes Wednesday 13 October Sausage Sizzle AJ Building, North Shore (behind library) From 3.30pm Everyone welcome. Student Stalls and Market Day City Quad from 12pm Vesbar Students Combo Day Food & beer combo just $7.50 all day

Turbo Touch 12pm & 1pm North Shore Gym Thursday 14 October Free Feed: City Octoberfest Vesbar from 7pm Steins, Beer maidens, oompa bands and German sausages Netball League 4-5pm North Shore Gym Futsal Champs 5-7pm North Shore Gym Friday 15 October 2010: A Bass Odyssey Featuring Optimus Gryme $10 for public tickets from AuSM Vesbar from 8pm Tapas Four Seasons 4-8pm

All Week AuSM Re-Energise Zone w/ Air Hockey, Wii and Bean Bags City Campus WC202 Coming Soon... AuSM Exam De-stress Zone Free food, music and massages 18-22 October AuSM Movie Screening Register for a ticket at: www.ausm.org.nz Vesbar Halloween Party 29 October Please note: AuSM Gig Guide is subject to change For more info on these events visit: www.ausm.org.nz

directory reception

My name’s Jared and I have been the subeditor of debate for the last three years and it has been a fun job and I hope you have enjoyed the magazine and don’t forget to have a nice week and then a nice weekend and don’t forget to watch Boardwalk Empire on Saturdays at 8.30 it’s pretty good have you seen it I like the art direction and how they built the entire set from scratch it makes it pretty unique which is always good in a TV show but it doesn’t even seem like a TV show but that’s probably because Martin Scorsese is directing it ooooo I like Martin Scorsese he directed The Departed which is actually my favourite film ever even more than The Hangover which was hilarious but I think it seemed funnier than it actually was because it wasn’t expected to be funny but that’s just my opinion I’m leaving AUT next month because I’ll have a degree and there’s no point in me coming back anymore except to get kebabs from the quad but even then you can get kebabs in other places so you’ll probably never hear from me again which won’t really change any of your lives which is a LITTLE BIT SAD. For me. Kind of. To the editors I’ve worked for, Ryan Boyd and you, Samantha; thanks for not firing me despite my shoddy punctuality and general oddity. It has been a pleasure. Story time! Greg was quiet. He floated listlessly through life, friends with everyone and friends with no one. School isolated and tormented him. He knew what he wanted from life but seemed to constantly forget it amidst the insignificant features of his life. His days became blurred and those around him would drift away and drift back, away and back. And now here he was, in front of the biggest bully in the school, too dazed to know where he was and too lazy to care. About to be chastised for his difference, he began to question his existence. What was he doing here? He used to have dreams, big ones. He wanted to be a big shot lawyer, where did that passion go? And in that moment he decided to turn things around. Life’s too short to mope around in circles, he thought, as a shimmer of hope came dancing toward him. He knew it was time, time to snatch his opportunity and do something with his life, to make a difference. He grabbed the glistening beacon of possibility and bit down hard. And then he died because he was a fish. So that’s me done. In the most genuine sense, sorry if I’ve offended you with anything I’ve written over the last three years, but chances are if I did you won’t be reading this. So tell your friends that I say sorry, and can you ask them to tell their friends that I say sorry? I just want to make sure everything’s square before I leave. Also, if you want me to autograph a magazine or a mug or your boobs before I leave, just email me (jaredvh@gmail.com). I also have half a pot of low-fat strawberry yoghurt and a broken wireless mouse if you want that. Shot.

City Campus Level 2, WC Building 921 9805 8am-5 pm Mon-Thurs 8am-3.30pm Fri North Shore Campus Level 2, AS Building 921 9949 8.30am-3pm Mon-Fri Manukau Campus MB107 921 9999 ext 6672 9am-3:30pm Mon-Thurs

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Sue Higgins General Manager 921 9999 ext 5111 sue.higgins@aut.ac.nz

representation

Veronica Ng Lam AuSM Student President 921 9999 ext 8571 vnglam@aut.ac.nz

advocacy

Nick Buckby Liaison Manager 921 9999 ext 8379 nick.buckby@aut.ac.nz

marketing

Rebecca Williams Marketing Manager 921 9999 ext 8909 rebecca.williams@aut.ac.nz

events

Barry Smith Events Team Leader 921 9999 ext 8931 barry.smith@aut.ac.nz

media

Samantha McQueen Publications Co-ordinator 921 9999 ext 8774 samantha.mcqueen@aut.ac.nz

sports

Melita Martorana Sports Team Leader 921 9999 ext 7259 melita.martorana@aut.ac.nz

vesbar

Zane Chase Vesbar Manager 921 9999 ext 8378 zane.chase@aut.ac.nz For a full list of contact details plus profiles of AuSM staff and student executive visit: www.ausm.org.nz

issue 24 2010

Dear Debate, So, “Sending the Commonwealth Games to Delhi is like letting your disabled friend drive your new car because you feel sorry for him. It’s nice, but it’s not going to end well” (Jared, Debate, Issue 23)? As a disabled person, reading this, I wondered if I’d been transported to the Dark Ages. My sense of humour’s as good as anyone’s, but humour is, by definition, funny; Jared’s statement is just drivel – easily dismissed, if it didn’t perpetuate the outdated myth that disabled people deserve ‘pity’, can’t drive, need ‘help’, thus making said helpers feel ‘nice’. Aaaaw. Get real, Jared - among A.U.T.’s current disabled students are a worldclass athlete, a broadcaster, and who knows how many budding scientists, chefs, business advisors, etc. My own humble achievements include University Graduate, published writer, and one-time radio annoucer. My motoring mishaps can still be counted on the fingers of one hand – not bad after 25 years of driving, I reckon. I’m not sure how many disabled drivers attend A.U.T., but the Wellesley Campus ones are easily spotted – we’re the ones waiting for vehicles without Mobility Cards to vacate the few remaining Mobility Parking spots. Ignorant attitudes, like those expressed by Jared, often contribute to such situations. Debate, I think you owe A.U.T.’s disabled population an apology. Yours sincerely, Nikki Frittmann. PS: As a student magazine, I hope Debate doesn’t mind a Staff Member contributing (yes, some disabled people are employed, too!). Response from debate I sincerely apologise for the comment that was made in the Commonwealth Games article in issue 23. There is no excuse for what was written and any comments we believe will cause offense to anyone are edited out immediately. It is unfortunate that this hurtful and untruthful comment managed to slip through the editing process and I will be taking firm steps to make sure that it doesn’t happen again. Again, I sincerely apologise that this comment was even written, let alone managed to make it into debate. Samantha McQueen, editor. Response from Jared In last week’s issue of debate, I wrote something offensive regarding people with disabilities. My immediate reaction to re-

reading what was printed is definitely one of regret. I am very sorry if anyone found the content offensive. I definitely should have vetted my writing more stringently. I feel that the view I expressed is a poor reflection of my character and, again, I am sincerely apologetic if anything I said was viewed as prejudicial. Sorry, Jared. Dear Debate, I was disappointed flicking through my Debate this Tuesday Lecture to find no Dear Debate letters or no Student Fashion. This along with the back page of interviews is the most interesting part of all so as you can imagine it was a BIG let down. ALSO why is it that you never interview or take student fashion photos of us over here at the North Shore Campus?? Very disappointing. Fu*ked off reader. Dear Fu*ked off reader, Thank you for writing into debate; our letters section can only be displayed in debate if readers like yourself take to their computers and write into us. The absence of the letters to the editor was purely because no one had taken the time to voice their opinion about debate or university to the masses. Hopefully your letter will encourage them to write more. We are always looking for student contributors to volunteer to do microcelebrities or take photos for the magazine but for whatever reason, North Shore students don’t seem keen to have a go. If you or someone you know would be keen to contribute in any way to debate, let me know – we are ALWAYS on the lookout for new writers! Response about a letter from last issue To the reader who pointed out that the Commonwealth Games were not held during World War II; you are right in that the Games were not held but they weren’t cancelled, rather they were not planned to take place in the first place. Had the Delhi Games been cancelled they would have been the first case of a Commonwealth Games being called off. THANKS! T Dear Debate, I’m slightly confused at Mr Brendan Kelly’s write up in last week’s debate about professional wrestling legend, Andre the Giant. It seemed like just

an excuse to bag pro-wrestling in general, which was tedious to read. I mean, what article about a legendary performer would be complete without endless bagging upon that legendary performer’s passion and career? He obviously had a love for it, and whether or not you admit it, wrestling IS what made him famous. If you’re going to write an article about a famous figure, do it right. That was just lame. Anon

LETTER OF THE WEEK: Hey Debate! Just thought I would let you know that from Issue 22, 27th September your Horoscope for Aries came true!! Every week when I pick up my Debate I flick straight to the back to the Horoscopes. My bf is an Aries and I regularly txt him his outlook for the week. Well last week his Horoscope was to look out for his family as one of his family members would get eaten by a creature. I read this on the Monday and on Wednesday when he arrived home from work he found 3 of the neighbors dogs tearing his cat apart, needless to say she died.

BRATWURST TWITTER CYRUS LEAGUE LINKINPARK

From this very sad event I found the amusing side it of by informing his family and everyone I knew that his Horoscope had come true! I will never be a non-believer in your Horoscopes. Keep up the good work and let some good things happen to Libras J Shedog x Dear unknown asshole Last week I was in the computer lab on the city campus finishing off one of my final assignments for the year. I went to the printer to pick it up and when I got back to my computer my USB was gone!!!! Lucky it only had a couple of things on there but who steals someone’s USB?! So this is just a warning to everyone to make sure you look after your stuff in the computer labs because apparently some people didn’t get taught that stealing is WRONG! Angry student Note from AuSM: If you have misplaced a USB this year, please come and check in the AuSM office on the city campus. We have heaps of unwanted USBs that obviously belong to people.

ONLINESHOPPING BARGAINS GST PAULHENRY STEIN

issue 24 2010

(aka pretty much all the nations that play league) by Scott Moyes The most obvious tragedy of this tournament appears to be its name: The Four Nations. Just like The Tri Nations sounds

The obvious favourites to win the tournament are the Australians. The league legends from across the ditch are the judges, jury and executioners of the game. However I dare say they are in a more vulnerable position than years gone by. Injuries will mean that Johnathan Thurston, Greg Inglis and Justin Hodges will not play a part in the campaign. All three play in Queensland’s five-time winning State of Origin team and all pose infinitely more awesome than Three Nations, I reckon a Quad Nations a considerable blow for their team’s chances. They are replaced with an tournament sounds much more spectacular and would make me feel much inexperienced Chris Lawrence, an overrated Willie Tonga and an out of better about paying a King’s ransom for a Tui at Eden Park. That aside, the form Cooper Cronk. While their infinite pool of talent will most likely impending league extravaganza promises to be a cracker instead of the get them across the line in the end, they perhaps don’t possess the close usual excuse to have a wank about Darren Lockyer and give the Kangaroos camaraderie of their less preferred opponents. another trophy. England aren’t known as prolific champions, yet they can be considered It will be just the second time the Four Nations tournament is played, a reasonable threat here. I won’t claim to have a wealth of knowledge of and the first time we see it around our neck of the woods. Last year it was English league. This is partly because half the players in the Super League battled out in Northern territory between New Zealand, are NRL rejects and the competition is generally Australia, England and France. On the back of the pretty one-sided. However they do possess a handful For the first time since the Kiwis 2008 rugby league World Cup success, the New of world-class players capable of giving the big guns Zealanders just about toppled the Kangaroos in the dinosaurs, the New Zealand a run for their money. Similar to the Kiwis, their opening match, having to eventually settle for a 20-all forwards need to lay the platform. Clearly South public will be able to see draw. The Kangaroos went on to roll the Poms in the Sydney prop/second-rower Sam Burgess will be out final, who showed some fair resistance by beating our some decent footy to Brut-Big-Hit anyone within a 100-metre radius lot, as France floundered at the bottom of the table. played in our country, of him. Wests Tigers second-rower, Gareth Ellis, has This year we see the tournament played in Australia and also been a standout this year. Labelled by Andrew including a double-header on New Zealand. Papua New Guinea also takes the place Johns as the best forward in the world when the of the French for a chance to cause some major upsets. November 6 at Eden Park. Tigers were going strong, Ellis’ impressive holeFor the first time since the dinosaurs, the New Zealand running and general physical presence will be hard to public will be able to see some decent footy played in contain. They can also count on the all-round tosser, our country, including a double-header on November 6 at Eden Park. This Adrian Morley, for a bit of argy bargy. will showcase England vs. PNG followed by Australia vs. New Zealand. They Papua New Guinea rate a mention at best. Naturally, they are there to should have a fairly decent team to cheer for. make up the numbers but they could provide the league community with a Over recent years, Kiwi born players have been popping up in much needed feel-good story. They won’t be without their support either. league circles all over Australia, being provided with quality coaching, Papua New Guinea have a massive league following, as has been reflected by a professional environment and some legends of the game to associate a number of bids to establish an NRL team in the country. Sure, they’ll leak with (no, Sonny Bill does not enter the frame here). Kiwi fans can look to tries here, there and everywhere, but they’ll be prepared to throw the ball the large number of New Zealanders involved in this year’s NRL final for around themselves which should be entertaining to watch. comfort. They include Jeremy Smith, Jason Nightingale, Shaun KennyThe moral of the story; the Kangaroos will probably waltz away with Dowall, Sam Perrett, Nathan Fien, Frank Paul Nuasaala and Jared Waereaanother title. It’s just the way things go. The interest will lie in the crowds Hargreaves; all of whom have showed great form over the past month. Since New Zealand can attract to such sporting fixtures and who can still walk the embarrassing 58-0 defeat in the Centenary test, the Kiwis have built up after a gruelling NRL and Super League season. We can only hope The Beast a strong, skilful and aggressive pack of forwards currently dominating the is marking The Hayne Plane/Train/Stain come Kiwis vs. Kangaroos time. NRL, which is where their strengths lie. You can sum it up with Brad Fitler’s Shit will go down. commentary of the Junior Warriors team on grand final day, who declared that we must have a secret BDF (Big Dudes Factory) somewhere in the PS: I must admit, I was mildly disappointed that St Helens failed to win their country. However it is their increasing depth in other positions which label Super League final in England. Just imagine the hysteria of a St George vs. St the New Zealanders a major threat. The new found consistency of captain Helens World Club Challenge. The ultimate battle of the Red vs. Anti-freakingBenji Marshall, the experience of Lance Hohaia at fullback and the potent climax. Manu Vatuvei out on the wing provide much cause for optimism.

You’ve walked past the gym every day this year. Each time you see people sweating it out, you think “I wonder what it’s like inside?” You can’t see any lycra so it can’t be too bad, but you’re still not sure. If you were to take the plunge one day and wander in, this is what you’d find: A warm, welcoming, safe, clean, pleasurable training environment, with friendly and approachable fully qualified and REPs registered staff. Our fitness staff and both of our facilities are REPs registered, which means all staff have to qualify to a specific standard of registration to work in either of our two gyms. So, you know you’re in safe hands. Please have a look on the REPs website www.reps.org.nz and check out the facility on your campus. Look out for our: 1-Brand new, state of the art cardio equipment, which

and power racks. We also have a great selection of different weight and grip type medicine balls and varied sized Swiss balls for core and stability work

have USB connectivity that enables the user to interface with the cardio gear and upload their workouts. This function allows you to keep track of your progress and have your programmes for the cardio equipment tracked.

3 -Friendly, knowledgeable and approachable staff that play or compete in sports themselves. The staff

2 -A well equipped and well maintained resistance machine selection as well as Olympic lifting areas and strongman training equipment. A good range of

at both centres will look after you as soon as you step into the gym; you are their priority. Whether it’s help with setting up a piece of cardio equipment or spotting you with the free weights, all our staff are there to help.

dumbbell weights and barbells as well as multiple free weight stations

What to expect when you come to the AUT gyms 4 -AUT North Shore can offer the use of the stadium facilities at certain

times during the days (please speak with reception for more details). Both centres have an inclusive group fitness class schedule. Please check online for classes at both centres.

5 -A 12 month gym competitions calendar with prizes based on a points

system that runs every three months on a participation/accumulation basis. Challenge your friends, challenge yourself and compete against your fellow gym members for the chance to win a one month’s extension to your gym membership and a six inch Subway.

6 -If you’re on the North Shore please check online

(search on the AUT webpage) and in the centre for closures either in the weights room or in the stadium. As our primary function is a teaching facility for the school of Sport and Recreation they do sometimes require the facilities on an exclusive basis. We do endeavor to keep you informed at all times and in all instances. If you ever have any questions, need a little guidance, assistance spotting you with your lifting or an exercise alternative please remember the instructors are there to help. Remember depending on which membership term you have, you can also book in for a personalised programme to help you achieve your goals quicker.

My Mac and Cheese Serves 2-3 / Cost: $2.52 per serve (with ham) $1.77 per serve (without ham)

1 ½ cups macaroni noodles, cooked in boiling water 1 onion or a bunch of spring onions 2 slices of ham (you can use bacon if you like but ham is cheaper) 3 – 4 sundried tomatoes, chopped ½ capsicum, sliced

½ cup peas 1 tomato cut into cubes 2 tablespoons flour 2 tablespoons margarine, oil or butter 1 – ½ cups of milk ½ - ¾ cup of grated cheese

When I was in my first year of uni I totally got put off mac and cheese according to plan your sauce should because of the stodgy, gloopy, tasteless mess I got served at the hostel. 8.Keep adding small amounts of be ready about the same time as your But it is such a cheap, comfort food that I decided to give it another go, milk and stirring until the sauce starts to boil or you have reached the pasta is ready… but this time, I’ll do it my way. So here it is; my mac and cheese. desired consistency. Once the sauce has boiled the sauce will not get any prepare the roux sauce DIRECTIONS thicker. You may not need all the 1.Preheat your oven to 180°C 5.In the now empty pan melt butter/ milk so that’s why you don’t add it all margarine and add flour on a low heat at once. 2.Put your macaroni on to cook in and stir until it starts to go frothy boiling water 9.When you’re happy with the 3.While the macaroni is cooking prep 6.Take the pan off the heat and add a consistency of the sauce, stir in small amount of milk and stir/whisk the grated cheese. Don’t return the your other ingredients until it starts to thicken. sauce to the heat no matter what. 4.Sauté onion, ham, sundried If the sauce gets too hot once the 7.Add a little more milk and return tomatoes and capsicum until soft, cheese has been added it will go to the heat. You must keep stirring add peas, salt and pepper. Put into stringy. Hopefully if things have gone because otherwise it will go lumpy a bowl and leave to sit while you issue 24 2010

10.Mix cooked macaroni, veges and ham into the pan with the sauce. Stir in the tomatoes

11.Put into an ovenproof dish. If you want to sprinkle a bit of cheese on top – here’s your chance! 12.Put in the oven until the top is brown and crunchy (about 10 minutes) and you’ve done it. Scrumptious dinner here I come.

Greetings fellow AUT Titans, It has been a very long time since I last wrote in debate. I know some of you may have missed me while other barely even noticed I had disappeared for a little while but nevertheless it is good to be back and writing to my favourite people of the world! I trust you are all itching to be done with study, assignments and exams but don’t give up; the finish line is now within your grasp. You can do it! AuSM will be holding their Special General Meeting (SGM) today (Monday) where your presence is greatly needed. This is your chance to really see us internally and our chance to prove to you that we’re delivering services with integrity and transparency. If you’re reading this on Monday, it kicks off today at 12 and because we love you so much we have free pizza for you and your friends! It’s a date; I’ll see you all there. Lastly, there have been several significant changes in the tertiary sector that will come to fruition soon. It is important to understand your student association is doing its best to first, represent your views and second, inform and equip you in the best possible way to prepare for the following changes. With capped enrolments, conditional links of your allowance and living costs to your academic progress and a potential loss of student association services, it’s a little overwhelming to take it. But we’re all on this journey together and no matter how difficult the politics of student life gets, we are all in this together. I wish you all the bet for this week, study hard and don’t forget to have fun. Till next week Your president in solidarity and peace

Veronica Ng Lam

It is your last month of lectures and we have heaps planned to energise you before the exam stress takes hold. Have you lost a USB or know someone who has? We have two massive bags full of USBs in our City Office that have been left around campus. Come and get yours before we give them all away to charity. Free film + snacks anyone? We have organised a free screening of Red starring Bruce Willis at Event Cinemas in Queen Street. AuSM will also provide all the popcorn and drinks plus we have a whole heap of spot prizes up for grabs. We have 100 double passes up for grabs. To enter visit our website today! Winners will be drawn at random and issued an e-ticket via email. Commonwealth Games There are many AUT students competing at the Commonwealth Games this year. Follow their progress on the AuSM website. We are posting new articles and updates daily during the Games.

October Odyssey You would have seen plenty of Octopusses (Octopi?) around campus telling you what’s happening this week but in case you missed them, here’s a rundown of the week ahead. We have our SGM Monday with free pizza for everyone, sausage eating comp (North Shore) on Tuesday, sausage sizzle

at the new AJ Building on the North Shore Wednesday, Octoberfest at Vesbar on Thursday and 2010: A Bass Odyssey on Friday. A highlight of the week is our annual Octoberfest. This year we have steins for $15 including your first fill (fills thereafter are only $7.50). Get in early so you don’t miss out on one. Entertainment for the evening will include oompah band, German sausages plus beer maidens. No entry charge so bring your mates. Wi Fi News We understand there are some big changes brewing in the AUT wi-fi world. We will keep you informed as more news comes to hand. Got a gripe? We have set up an online suggestion box (www.ausm.org.nz) so that you can let us know what makes you angry, frustrated, annoyed or happy around campus.You can also collect a feedback form from any AuSM office. You can write to us about anything at all: food, gardens, library, computers, shuttle buses, lecturers, AuSM services and the list goes on. Once we receive your feedback, we will look into the problem and take action to improve things wherever possible. Feedback can be submitted anonymously. That’s more than enough from AuSM this week. Good luck with exams – see you in the chill out zone next week!

Should fruit and vegetables be exempt from the new 15% GST law? Alicia Crocket

jared

Yes If New Zealand was a woman,

she’d be pretty worried about her middleaged spread. And she should be; New Zealanders are the third largest people in the world. So much for our outdoorsy and fit New Zealand image. No one can really tell you why New Zealand has such a bad overweight and obesity problem. Sure, everyone has their theories: it’s the food, it’s the sedentary lifestyle, it’s our multiethnic population, the list goes on. But food features highly and so the food environment has to change, healthier choices need to become easier and having GST free fruit and vegetables is an excellent change to make. “If you behave you can have a Happy Meal”. Who knew that those fateful words we all heard as children would set us up for a lifetime of poor eating habits? We are not bought up to regard fruit and vegetables as a treat food; for some people they’re punishment or what has to be eaten before you get dessert. As a result people simply will not pay the money for fruit and vegetables that they will for other types of food. To get people eating more fruit and vegetables they need to be cheaper than the alternatives. Removing the GST is a good way of making fruit and vegetables more attractive to customers. Marketing something like fruit and vegetables to make them more inviting to people is incredibly difficult. Can you imagine it, the marketing slogan “Apples – the winner’s snack” doesn’t quite have the same ring to it as “I’m loving it”. The multi-national food industry companies have massive marketing budgets and aren’t afraid to use them. Fruit and vegetable growers on the other hand, don’t have nearly the same opportunities to influence consumer demand. So to change the attitude towards fruit and vegetables there needs to be a point of difference. Having GST free fruit and vegetables will provide that point of difference and encourage people to buy them. Some people don’t need to be encouraged to buy more fruit and vegetables, these ‘worried well’ already buy plenty. However, these are not necessarily the people in society who have the highest burden of disease. It’s well known that people who are poorer are more likely to be overweight or obese. Most interventions to encourage healthy eating require people to sign up for a programme or change what they are currently doing. As a result of this, the people who actually need support and input from professionals are less likely to get it and so their situation doesn’t improve. To benefit from the GST free fruit and vegetables you don’t have to do anything, you just have to go to the shop as usual and buy your groceries. People who don’t have a lot of money are often price watchers in the supermarket and they’ll notice if the price drops. Increasing the fruit and vegetable intake of New Zealanders by one serve a day has the potential to save 300 lives a year. Add to that shorter hospital stays, fewer operations and a more productive workforce and the costs saved start to look pretty impressive. Stack those savings up against the $250 million that this policy would cost the government and it seems like a simple equation to me fruit and vegetables should be GST free. There needs to be clear direction and a genuine commitment to changing the food environment in New Zealand to improve the health of New Zealanders. The “it’s your fault you’re fat” model clearly isn’t working so we need to start trying other options to find ways of making healthier food choices easier for everyone. GST free fruit and vegetables are a fantastic message that fruit and vegetables are the most important part of your diet.

issue 24 2010

Phil Goff came out last week,

eager to announce Labour’s supposed silver bullet – their ticket to avoid election embarrassment next year. Under a Labour government, GST will be removed from healthy foods. Well just like everything else Goff has done since he slipped into Helen Clark’s nightie, it came off as a feeble attempt to garner support from a demographic long considered a staple contributor to the Labour campaign. Poor people, we are told, are struggling to pay the rent on their state houses. They already have more than one child and they are currently unable to provide for those children adequately. Newsflash do-gooders: those people don’t give a fuck if you take $2 off a bag of oranges at New World. Double newsflash Phil Goff: promising cheaper fruit and veggies to the poor demographic isn’t going to get you elected. If anything it’s made him, and his destitute party, look even worse in the eyes of the needy. Hey Phil, you want to impress the proletariat? How about taking the GST off KFC? Here’s my thinking: if low socioeconomic groups are ALREADY buying fast food because they’re too lazy/poor/uneducated to cook proper meals, surely the best way to help them out in the short term (which is all a GST nullification will do) is to save them money on things they’re already buying. And if you’re getting your undies in a bunch because promoting the consumption of high-fat foods is terribly un-PC, then how about dropping the GST on school uniforms or school shoes or something that will actually make a difference? It just seems so intrinsically short-sighted to me. You can’t honestly expect those who are struggling financially to be ecstatic about the fact that everything in their lives is getting more expensive except for fresh fruit and veg. I guess the thinking there is that if everything else gets more expensive, healthy foods will become a more valid option – but that’s based on the fact that these families are already buying healthy foods and will notice a change in the price. If I’d never bought fresh chicken before, and a meal at KFC had just gone up from $12 to $13 but two chicken breasts now cost $10 instead of $14, there’s no way I would ever buy it fresh. Because in the moment, what’s $3? It’s only when you add all that kind of shit out that it becomes obvious how important those little savings are. And to be honest, I don’t think the majority of the people in this demographic are known for their mathematical prowess. The whole Phil Goff thing just stinks of opposition for the sake of it and, to be frank, it’s getting really tiring. Call me naive, but I genuinely don’t understand the point of opposing every move the government makes – not only does it alienate you from a majority of voters, it makes you seem like a whiny little twat. I really don’t know where politics is going in New Zealand. Labour, like ACT and the Greens, has accidently distanced itself from the majority by trying too hard to target their specific minority. They’ve tried so hard to be Robin Hood that they’ve ended up looking fake. They’ve lost their union roots and now it’s just a mix match of political figures from all over the place. And it’s all because of stupid shit like this GST thing. As soon as the GST is set to go up, Goff launched an ill-conceived counter-attack that flopped from the moment it came out of his mouth – the scariest part of all is that it blatantly misses the point of which it was intended. If you want to help poor people, help them – don’t come up with contrived PC protocol-like legislation that nobody wants. Dickheads.

America vs. New Zealand (well, university wise) by Samuel Blackmer

t was my intent to write an article about the differences between universities in the U.S. and New Zealand but it occurred to me I’m really not qualified to because there is no universal university experience, here in New Zealand, or in the U.S. So instead, I’ll have to settle with a more expanded “differences between my home university and AUT”. My home university, newly titled a university, just last year it was merely a college, is Metropolitan State College of Denver. The name is up for review now that it is a university. Sounds familiar to AUT so far; it too is a very young university – 10 years young, in fact. Much like AUT, it is a commuter school, meaning its students, for the most part, don’t live on campus. Also, unlike so many colleges in the States, it is geared for working adults rather than kids straight out of high school (even though kids straight out of high school do make up the majority of students at Metro). Until AUT, I’d never had a grad student teach a class. Every class I’ve had was taught by a professor, both lectures and tutorials. This may

be one of the areas where Metro departs from most four-year universities in the States; I believe most universities follow the same model as AUT with professors giving lectures and grad students taking the tutorial duties. I prefer having the professor as the only instructor for my classes, though I can see the efficiency of having grad

Being a journalism student, seeing the difference between AUT’s journalism program and my program at Metro, I can see that AUT is going to be graduating many fine journalists. students take on individual tutorials; it allows for much larger class sizes and a large savings to the university. The other major difference I noticed between my home university and AUT is the class sizes. While at AUT the tutorial size is small and personal, the lectures were very large. I rarely spoke with any of my professors, and there were some professors I never spoke with at AUT. I did get to know the good grad students teaching my

tutorials and they did have a personable feel to them, but the buck must stop at the professor, and odds are, my professors didn’t even know my name. At Metro, a student can declare a major at anytime in their career, and getting into the field I am studying, journalism, isn’t nearly as competitive at Metro as it is at AUT. This has its advantages and its disadvantages. Clearly AUT is going to get very hard working individuals in its journalism school due to the competitiveness, but a lot of people who would make excellent journalists may not get in because they are lousy test takers or missed the mark by a small margin because they were in an unusually competitive year. But to this, I’d say, a good journalist isn’t going to be denied the market because they don’t have a journalism degree. A good journalist will find a way around not having a degree in journalism. I did feel the subject matter in my classes at AUT was excellent. The lectures at AUT are excellent; they covered a great many things my home university didn’t even broach. Being a journalism student, seeing the difference between AUT’s journalism program and my program at Metro, I can see that AUT is going to be graduating many fine journalists.

Twitter: making celebrities look like morons in 140 characters or less by Lisa Arthur

Until Twitter, people probably didn’t realise how much BS could be unleashed in just 140 characters. Along with the millions of users

who sign up to rant about life or share with the world what they had for breakfast, celebrities are flocking to this free micro-blogging site to “self-promote”, or in bizarre (but entertaining) cases, dig themselves into a deep cyber-hole. Sure, some celebrities use it to produce thoughtful or inspiring sound bites, but a lot of the tweets seem to be whatever popped into that person’s head at the time. The results can be hilarious or painful. Now, for those who subject themselves to the Jersey Shore, Snooki is writing a book. Once you’ve swallowed the vomit from reading this revelation, read onto her Twitter page. If her book is anything like her tweets, it should be hilarious in a very depressing way. “I have mind blowing news! I am officially reading my first book! Lmao! Nicholas Sparks Dear John… I am proud of myself! Are you Jay Leno?”

Sorry to break it to you Snooki, but anything by Nicholas Sparks does not actually count as a real book. The man had Miley Cyrus in one of his movies. Just saying. Heidi Montag, also known as the real life Barbie, uses Twitter to share thoughtful advice. “Giving myself a soft-tissue breast massage. Ladies we have to keep those implants soft.” Sorry, Heidi, I think that’s a fail seeing I heard one of your boobs exploded at the beach the other day. Also, I believe that saline or silicone does not count as tissue. Your on-again/off again husband Spencer Pratt is no better, tweeting that his new book will be “equal parts Tolstoy and Hemingway”. WHY DO PUBLISHERS GIVE THESE PEOPLE BOOK DEALS?! Although I am impressed that Spencer Pratt knows how to spell correctly. Maybe he could do a collaboration with Snooki. Although I heard her style is more John Updike. “I can’t believe my grandmother’s making me take out the garbage. I’m rich, fuck this I’m going home I don’t need this shit.” Thanks 50 Cent, for showing the rest of us that we don’t need to help out old people. You’re

an inspiration. In fact, when you read 50 Cent’s profile, it’s hard not to wonder whether the guy has truly cracked. In between dissing the elderly (and family, no less), he writes about blow jobs and makes homophobic and sexist jokes left, right and centre. It’s disturbing to watch. And of course, there’s Kayne West, who gained 500,000 followers in less than a week, and constantly tweets (or more appropriately rants) about the good life, making music in the studio, or apologising to Taylor Swift. The Edge radio station even has a special segment dedicated to his latest tweets. Twitter has introduced a new level of intimacy that the public has with celebrities. Instead of reading about them second-hand through unreliable media, celebrities can now directly talk to their fans in an instant, without fear of being misquoted. It is doubtful whether this is a positive or negative thing, due to a lot of celebrities being as dumb as a dog in a burlap sack. However dumb it may be, it is also entertaining, and isn’t that ladies and gentleman, the real purpose of a celebrity?

2010: A BASS ODYSSEY A look at the AuSM line-up

It’s October. In terms of students, this month is pretty crap. Not only do you have a billion assignments due in, you also have to forsake your Labour Weekend holiday to study for exams and just generally stress about life. Well, most of you will anyway. But here at AuSM we want to make your final month a little bit less stressful; we want to inject some… what’s the word… fun into your final month of university. Aside from our free feeds and free massages that will be happening throughout the week, Friday will see dubstep take over Hikuwai Plaza and Vesbar. Leading acts Optimus Gryme, Truth, Jason Howson and MC Billy Fluid with be taking the stage amid heavyweight sound, lights and visuals which will make this event a truly magical bass experience. This is the last chance to put on your dancing shoes and get amongst it for a while, so make the most of it! Free AUT student tickets are available from the AuSM offices on campus. $10 Public door sales will also be available on the night. This event is R18 – ID Required. Please note the event runs from 8pm until 12am midnight with the main acts starting at 10pm.

OPTIMUS GRYME

Over the last two years Optimus Gryme (aka Charlie B) has evolved into one of Aotearoa’s leading dubstep pioneers. Last year he released New Zealand’s first solo dubstep EP as well as releasing Aotearoa’s first dubstep 12”on his own imprint “Optimus Gryme Recordings”. Charlie is now about to release his debut album, Eclipse, which he has spent the last two years creating and features remixes and collaborations with Billy Fluid, Truth, Organikismness, Fiona Soe Paing and Maraku Rewiti. He fondly refers to the album as “two years of heart and soul morphed into 60 minutes of audio for your listening pleasure”. Charlie wanted to create an album that people of all musical tastes could enjoy, whether it be relaxing at home on a Sunday afternoon or rocking it out the dance floor.

www.myspace.com/optimusgryme

MC BILLY FLUID

Billy first started free styling while walking around his hometown, Waiheke Island, as a way to vent the frustration he felt growing up. From this foundation he formed the group TAOS with Kris Lequeta, Davey Walters and Anthony Milas. TAOS was a completely improv band, from the music to the rhymes. Billy also began working with with Charlie B (aka Optimus Gryme) at this time on a side project called Serenity, a musical partnership that continues to this day (albeit under different banners). Well known for his work with Scratch 22 and Legal Money Mike as of The Unscene, Billy cut his teeth rocking small Waiheke gigs and has now taken his unique style to festivals such as Groove In The Park and Deep, Hard ‘N’ Funky. He’s performed alongside the cream of Aotearoa’s drum ‘n’ bass royalty including Concord Dawn, Shapeshifter, Bulletproof and Tiki. “I promise I’mma keep doin so. Big Up Waiheke... meke aroha to Omaio and Hariki and all the whanau and friends who support what I do.” – MC Billy Fluid

www.myspace.com/billy_fluid

issue 24 2010

TRUTH

The theory that isolation breeds creativity has never been as apt as it is for Truth, a dubstep outfit hailing from one of the world’s most southern cities. Truth, undoubtedly one of New Zealand’s greatest dubstep exports, have been making a huge impact around the world with their heavy bass-line rhythms. Truth have a style that defies categorisation, encompassing an array of melodies, vocals and spacious beats that range from half-step stompers to the deeper profound realms of sound. 2010 is set to be a massive year for Truth, with some big releases in the pipeline including a second 12” release on Deep Medi, the Disfigured Dubs EP, a 12” on Boka Records and the much anticipated Truth album, Puppets. With two comprehensive Europe tours under their belt and a string of gigs around Australia and Asia, including an appearance at the seminal DMZ night in Brixton, and radio play on stations like BBC’s Radio One and Kiss FM, Truth know how to impress. The truth is out there. Now go seek.

www.myspace.com/truthdubstep

JASON HOWSON

A vinyl addict since way back, Jason Howson was recently part of the first New Zealand dubstep compilation which featured fellow Bass Odyssey acts Truth and Optimus Gryme. When he’s not on stage or making bass, he’s sitting alongside Sean Lyons on George FM for their weekly show “Silk Cuts In Sessions”. Expect big things from Jason; you heard it here first.

www.myspace.com/j_howson

Hi Ho, Hi Ho, it’s off to work we go Andrew Judd looks at what it’s like to work on shipping super tanks Did you ever wonder where old ships go to die? What about the old oil tankers? If they don’t sink, where do they end up? I wanted to find out so I did some research. First, let’s run some numbers on a giant oil tanker: After it is made at a cost of around $100 million, a super tanker is charged out for an average of about $55,000 per day, depending on market prices. These ships only last about 30 years. They are basically massive tubs that carry oil from A to B. Because of their size, they can’t sail empty, they need to ballast lower to the water. Therefore, much of their lifecycle is spent only carrying water. The Shipbreaking yard. When the ship is written off the books, it is taken to a ship-breaking yard, like the one in Alang, India; the biggest in the world. Alang is a town about 1100km southwest of the 2010 Commonwealth Games in New Delhi. Go to Google Maps and type “Alang, India”. You can zoom right in and see dozens of ships beached [as] along the coast line. Approximately 35,000 men (including old, young, and boys as young as 13) work as ship-breakers there. This is a place they describe as “hell on earth”. But they say that it is better to work and die than to starve and die. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. Imagine if you will, you are driving a super-tanker, emptied of all its cargo so it sits high on the water. You point it at the muddy beach and crank the engine to full speed. The ship grinds up the beach to an army of men with cutting-torches. Bit by bit they cut away at the ship, each piece has to be taken to shore by hand. These guys are very good at what they do, but they have to break a ship down with minimum resources. Safety here is not exactly AAA rating. Workers are regularly injured, maimed or killed by the dangers that come with the job. Danger Will Robinson! An old tanker is riddled with some of the most dangerous toxins on the planet. For example, each tanker could contain up to 100 tonnes of lead based paint. Men are working around and in these chemicals. Asbestos, dioxins, mercury, arsenic, flammable and explosive gases are just some of the hazards. Safety first! (or something like that) In a developed nation, ship-breakers are required to wear all the safety gears. Along with hardhat, gloves, boots etc. You would need to be in a ‘moon-suit’ with breathing apparatus and fall-arrest harness before you would be let on site, and you would be paid handsomely to endure those conditions.

In India the safety list looks more like this… Eyes: sunglasses Footwear: jandals, sandals or bare feet Hands: gloves or a rag Head: baseball cap Respiratory: handkerchief This is the gear worn by men working around molten steel. The fumes alone make them sick or sometimes even suffocate. Safety has improved a little recently but there are still too many people being injured by falling or from steel falling on them. Captain Planet Besides the dangerous work, there are the pollutants that are left in the environment. The areas around ship-breaking yards are highly contaminated. There is no proper disposal of hazardous waste. It affects birds, mammals and marine life in the surrounding area. Show me the money So if you’re up for it you too can work at a ship breaking yard. You would be earning somewhere around 35 cents per hour, to slave all day, seven days a week in one of the most dangerous jobs in the world. What is the logical solution to increase profits? Cut costs. The Western nations used to be the only ones that dismantled ships. They have the machinery and the resources to do so with a high degree of safety. But it costs a lot of money to do the job properly. So what happened? Outsourcing. The simple way for a corporation to pad out the bottom line is to cut costs. Just take an expensive problem and hand it over to someone that will make it go away. Now my lifestyle isn’t MY problem anymore, but for those ship-breakers, my lifestyle is THEIR problem; they are responsible to clean up my mess (i.e. oil). Luxury is cheap but it ain’t free. So here I am living the New Zealand lifestyle. I go to Uni, I go to work, and I go home. Every time I go somewhere, I’m using oil. After some thought, I managed to put two and two together (…duh): I am able to live like this because I have no responsibility for my mess. I don’t often pull out my soapbox, but we all need to start taking care of our neighbour, globally. Bear with me here…

We in the West have it pretty sweet with complete insulation from our mess. I used the oil from the oil tanker, the ship-breakers have to clean it up and live with the consequences of my actions. Where is the responsibility?

The Long and Honourable History of the

Internet Meme by Lisa Arthur

ack in the day, when YouTube was just another random website like Wikipedia that I thought I would never use, my sister forwarded me a link. It was a YouTube link, and it featured a baby panda sneezing. And thus my obsession with YouTube was born. The baby panda sneezing (if you don’t know what I’m talking about, get out of your cave and YouTube it immediately) was one of the first internet memes I can remember. The internet meme is a link, an image, a video, any one of a dozen media forms that spreads throughout the internet like a wildfire. Then just as quickly it can disappear, fallen from grace, never to be seen again. They are spread through email forwards, Facebook links, blogs, 4chan campaigns, and sometimes even the traditional media outlet such as a newspaper or the evening news. A meme that appeared even earlier than the sneezing panda was the dancing baby. This gained fame in the 90s, when apparently they had the internet. It has featured in numerous television shows and movies, perhaps most famous in Ally McBeal. The dancing baby is basically a naked baby dancing while rotating. Yes, this is what they considered funny back in the go-go 90s. Thank God our humour has evolved to sniggering at the Shake Weight. One of the successful instigators of internet memes is 4chan, a userbased website where anonymous users post images. Most notorious is the /b/ or random board, where there are almost no rules as to what you can post. Oh lolcats, where would we be without you? Well we wouldn’t have Caturday, that’s for sure. Rickrolling, the meme that made you afraid to click on any link and Chocolate Rain are two more memes that we have 4chan to thank. Marketers have seen the potential of internet memes, and produced their own to tap into the cynical and harder to reach younger market. The YouTube video “Why every guy should buy their girlfriend a Wii Fit” in which a girl is Wii hula-hooping in her undies has been accused of being a marketing campaign by Nintendo. A series of videos showing teenagers doing daring things turned out to be made by Levis. Even out and out advertisements like Old Spice’s “The Man Your Man Could Smell Like” turned into a meme, but mostly that’s because they were awesome and hilarious. You cannot have an email account these days without coming across some of these memes. There are even numerous websites based around memes such as knowyourmeme.com, which explains and brings you up to date with a series of videos. Internet memes have become an important part of our culture, and to be ignorant of them can leave you baffled when your friends start saying things like, “Is this real life?” and asking you to come to Candy Mountain when your name clearly isn’t Charlie. So take the time to click on those links and watch those videos, they’re never going to let you down.

Ginger Rallying Cry

A ginger-haired kid complains that a joke South Park about gingers was inappropriate. He starts off in a very sober tone about how he gets bullied and then he seems to combust and shouts phrases like “Gingers have souls!”. It’s disturbing, but also pretty funny.

Fully Sick Rapper

Christian Van Vuuren was quarantined with TB earlier this year and made a rap video about his life in isolation. It’s pretty clever, and it looks like it helped him from going completely insane.

Rapist in Lincoln Park

This is taken from a news clip in the states where Antoine Dobson said a sentence that sparked numerous songs and parodies: “he’s climbing in your windows, he’s snatching people up trying to rape them, so you need to hide your kids, hide your wife, hide your aunt cause they’re raping everybody. Also worth a mention: Dancing merengue dog, hunter shoots a bear, OK Go’s new video for White Knuckles, 13-year-old singing Lady Gaga’s Paparazzi

Some of the top internet memes of 2010 (so far): Double Rainbow

The Double Rainbow video opens with a lovely panoramic shot of a forest and a rainbow, next to ANOTHER RAINBOW. The amazing part of this clip isn’t the rainbows though, it’s the guy who’s holding the camera. Screaming, amazement, wonder, crying and sex noises. Double Rainbow has it all.

Pants on the Ground

An American Idol contestant sings his original song Pants on the Ground to the judges during the audition rounds. It’s a terrible song, but the lyrics are hilarious.

issue 24 2010

Something for the guys A letter so long it needed its own page by Brendan Kelly “Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.”

-Oscar Wilde on why there should be less fashion articles in debate

“Fashion is something barbarous, for it produces innovation without reason and imitation without benefit.”

-George Santayana on why he wears plaid

“Only men who are not interested in women are interested in women’s clothes. Men who like women never notice what they wear.”

-Anatole France saying it so I don’t have to

Every week I read through debate.

Without fail there’s an editorial and some letters from AUT students who apparently lack any prowess with the English language whatsoever. (Seriously. I sometimes wonder if the letters are submitted in crayon, and then I remember that if you’re old enough to use crayons effectively you’re probably also old enough to write a more coherent sentence than the ones seen in the letters section in this publication.). There are also a couple of recipes, some reviews, a rant about how crap life is, and then about 400 pages of fashion news, shop reviews and ‘cute’ places to have coffee. I was going to write this article as a letter, but then I thought, fuck it. I’ve contributed so many rambling excuses for articles this year I figured I may as well turn it into a full page tirade. I have never, in my whole life, ever, read a fashion article and found it interesting. This isn’t because the person writing the article sucks at writing, or I am offended by people trying to tell me what to wear. The reason I don’t enjoy reading about fashion is because I’m a guy. I don’t particularly give a rat’s ass whether my shoes match my socks, or even if my socks match my socks. Last week I wore the exact same plaid shirt to uni for 3 days. It was my birthday on Friday, I got a new pair of shoes. I threw out my old pair of shoes. I now have one pair of shoes. I realise we are in the age of the metrosexual. I’m a Communications student; it’s impossible not to realise. The girls on my course get a hard time because they can’t leave home without ensuring they are entirely prepared for every circumstance, including the off chance they get spotted by a passing fashion photographer who decides to snap a couple of shots then and there. The truth is, this stereotype isn’t that exaggerated. A less represented fact is that the guys aren’t really much different. In a standard lecture there’s a fair amount of guys decked out in expensive sunglasses, designer shoes, Ed Hardy hoodies and other unnecessary shit. Here is my opinion on men’s fashion. Clothes are there to keep us warm and to stop our genitals getting snagged on twigs when we go hunting. If they can do this without making us look like circus clowns, that’s a bonus. If you spend hours selecting which vest matches your shirt, you probably need to re-evaluate the important things in life. Unless you’re getting married or you are dead, it should not take you more than 20 minutes to get out of bed, dressed and out the door. Selecting clothing should not be the most painstaking decision you make in your day. Same goes for girls. No one is impressed that you actually took the time and effort to ensure that your iPod, laptop, phone and entire fucking outfit are all matching. Seriously. Find something better to do with your time than compiling a collection of things that match with other things. Learn the banjo or befriend a midget, start a fire – anything is more productive than making sure everything in your vicinity is the same colour.

I digress; this wasn’t intended to be a fashion article. This was meant to be the anti-Christ for fashion articles. I just think it’s becoming a sad truth that the stereotypical New Zealand male is a thing of the past. I mean the real New Zealand male, the good keen man of yesteryear; the guy who would work all day constructing automobiles out of No.8 wire, could have a second breakfast if he dug around in his beard long enough and who didn’t give a damn that the only outfit he owned was plaid and smelled of sheep. If you look around you’ll realise No.8 wire has been replaced with an iPhone, baby faces are the overwhelming trend, and the only plaid to be seen is on some chick’s designer fucking handbag. And my shirt. At this point you may be wondering what the point of this article is. Me too. I guess what I’m trying to say is, it’d be nice to get some guys writing some stuff for debate next year. Maybe I’m the only guy who thinks like me, but I seriously doubt it. I know there’s sports guy and that sub-editor guy and that guy who writes the metal column*, but where’s the guys? Where are the articles about beer and Godzilla and tits and stuff? Where’s the chauvinistic side of AUT? I know it’s around somewhere. Let’s give the fashion articles a run for their money. Bring back the biff. Note: I realise I come across as kind of a cock. If you feel like writing letters to say so, feel free. Just make sure the crayon is legible, and preferably in more than one colour. Cheers. *Note from the ed: The person who writes the metal column is, in fact, a girl. Go figure.

by Jared

Remember Sunrise? TV3’s answer to Breakfast (canned amidst concerns over low ratings and a bleak future) was a failure almost from the outset – with average hosts and a faux-trendy tone, the show went out in a very minimalist puff of smoke. And that is, in its entirety, the history of Breakfast’s market competition. The absence of morning news seems a little unwarranted; we’re a small country but we’re not that small, surely? And so we have to wonder what makes Breakfast so successful. Is it the fact that it’s been around for 13 years? Is it good journalism? Is it an enthralling production? Or is it Paul Henry?

enry, arguably the most recognisable man in New Zealand television, is the epitome of an attention-whore. Studying a drama scholarship in Britain, Henry developed a liking to the verbally expressed opinion and promptly moved into radio. After working at a number of different radio stations and losing a National Party candidacy in Wairarapa to Georgina Beyer, Henry moved into the role which we know him best for. Breakfast television is a bit of an oddity in the world of news broadcasting. It takes a number of different forms, from hard-hitting news bulletins around the world to the most trivial of stories, presented by anyone who can hold a microphone. Because we’ve only got one of these shows in New Zealand, we’ve got all of the different forms of breakfast telly squished into one. And it’s a little bit disarming. That is until Paul Henry decides he finds something funny. And that sentiment is not a rarity. Henry is like a toddler in a lot of ways. Moody and giggly and a little bit weird, he cracks jokes and laughs his unusual laugh and smiles his unusual smile and we all move on. Well, not all of us. TVNZ and the Broadcasting Standards Authority have received thousands of complaints about Henry’s behaviour over his six year tenure as the patriarch of our morning news. Usually, these complaints come from smaller, minority groups. That’s not to say their complaints aren’t valid. For the most part, Paul Henry’s behaviour is subjective; some people are offended and some people love it. Irrespective of our personal views we’ve got to consider the point of TV in the first place. Advertising. Without it, TV as we know it would be impossible and without behaviour like Paul Henry’s, those advertisers would be much less inclined to buy up space in the 20 minutes per hour that Henry isn’t on screen. Is Paul Henry just a “shock-jock” (a term journalists seem to have invented) designed to spike ratings among the more crass members of society? It’s hard to say. Certainly Henry’s comments have increased viewership, but whether or not that is his intention is less clear. Those positive economical effects seem to be a by-product of the man’s <insert offensive characteristic e.g. racism/misogyny/ignorance etc> as opposed to premeditated acts of crudeness.

issue 24 2010

Stuff.co.nz has got an interactive timeline up of every controversial thing Henry’s done. Starting in 2007, the list features 16 different knicker-twisting incidents – from aligning child abuse and Maoridom through to calling Susan Boyle “retarded” and having a solid 70 second giggle about the name of Commonwealth Games problem solver Sheila Dikshit (pronounced dik sit). The latter event was released as a video only a day after Henry was suspended last week, causing news media across all media to go nuts with speculation about his future. The irony there is that the best thing for Paul Henry and Breakfast is if people keep talking about it. Facebook groups denouncing Henry and proclaiming boycotts promoting his sacking have been dwarfed in support by thousands of Henry fans wanting him back on air. Maybe this is indicative of the behaviour that New Zealanders in general find acceptable, or maybe these people are just aware of the fact that TV is TV – if it’s interesting and people watch it, there’s no way it’ll be changed. Floating above all of this drama is the argument that TVNZ, as our ‘national broadcaster’, shouldn’t condone this sort of behaviour because it’s a representation of our nation as a whole. What the fuck? It’s a television network. Just because the government owns it doesn’t automatically remove it from the realms of competitive and economic decision-making. Paul Henry, irrespective of whether you hate him or you hate what he says, makes TVNZ a lot of money and that’s the point of him being employed. The old adage about “if you don’t like it, don’t watch it” comes to mind. That becomes a diminished principle when racism enters the fray. And Henry’s comments about Sir Anand Satyanand were racist – simple as that. The point I’m trying to get across is that it doesn’t matter whether he says racist things or not – if a majority of the viewership align themselves with his comments and his beliefs, then why change it? On moral grounds? Because it’s a news show? Not likely. From my end it seems like a social experiment designed by the producers, directors and writers at TVNZ. “How far can we push middle class New Zealand before a mutiny?” Based on the events of the last five years, I’d say “pretty far”.

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debate is your oyster. For more info, email Samantha McQueen on debate@aut.ac.nz 18in to the AuSM city campus office for a chat. or drop

by Mike Atkins

ur generation loves bad films, because they don’t make bad films like they used to. Modern films have a baseline level of competence that makes them harder to laugh at; no longer are the days of crapteurs like Ed Wood and Russ Meyer. Which is why, when a truly awful piece of shit comes along, it’s dim-the-lights-and-make-popcorn event viewing. Which is why my flatmate and I made such a feast out of the Jim Carey starring supernatural thriller 23, when it was on TV last week. The film is about [approximately 30 words redacted because they’re just too sad], and it all has to do with the number 23 for some reason. And by feast, I mean feast; we even looked up the supernatural occurrences of the spooky number in real life on the internet. It turns out there are quite a few (the film was based on a real thing!), but if you think about, that’s not that spooky. Numerologists tend to grasp at straws you see, and “spooky occurrences of 23” include any occurrence of the numbers two and three together. Three is 2 X 1.62 with some rounding, and 1.62 is the golden ratio. It’s been known for centuries that the golden ratio happens all over the place in nature, and has therefore been emulated in art. The golden ratio describes everything from the proportions of the average human body, to the Mona Lisa, and your credit card. It’s also been shown that humans tend to arbitrarily decide that a rectangle built to the golden ratio is more attractive than those built to other proportions. I’m no musicologist, but I’ve heard enough music to know that that happens in proportions too. Anyone who’s ever heard the Beatles knows the pleasing perfection of verse-chorus-verse-chorus-bridge-chorusend. I’ve also written enough reviews to know the cliché that any song that doesn’t fit that template is “that band’s Bohemian Rhapsody”. I also know that Leon Harkleroad, someone who is an actual musicologist and mathematician, has said: “Some of the issue 24 2010

most misguided attempts to link music and mathematics have ... related to the golden ratio”. To this, I have nothing to say, but to poke out my tongue, and blow a raspberry. So what if all I do discover is coincidences? Coincidences are awesome. If I’m right, then most songs’ bridge or second chorus should divide songs by the golden ratio. The golden ratio should be the bit where you start playing air guitar, or air oboe, or drumming on your desk. I suspect it’s the point where I decide if I like a song or not, if it’s a new one, but that’s just a theory. So let’s start with Rolling Stone’s “Top 500 greatest songs”. Rolling Stone’s list starts with a song that belongs in the Bohemian Rhapsody class of pop-music: Bob Dylan’s Like A Rolling Stone. The Golden Ratio would divide Like A Rolling Stone at three minutes 50 seconds. At 3.50, Saint Bob launches into the song’s refrain “how does it feel?” except on this one, he puts extra emphasis on the “feel”. Where it was a taunt before, at 3.50, Bob’s twisting the knife. As a child, I could never make out the lyrics to the next verse after 3.50, because he spits them with such rage. As a four-yearold, I was always accusing people I didn’t like of being “vididle”, because it was the worst insult Bob Dylan seemed to know, and it sounded bad. Next on the list is Satisfaction by The Rolling Stones. For fun, let’s do the version by synth-punks Devo, because I already know it works on the original, but in very unexciting ways. The golden ratio cuts Devo’s Satisfaction just after the second verse, and then a very interesting thing happens, front man Gerald Casale breaks. He gets stuck on the middle word of the chorus, repeating the word “baby”, far more many times than is comfortable, or necessary, like an android who is malfunctioning from a chronic case of blue balls. Next up there’s Marvin Gaye’s What’s Going On. Great Song, but nothing. After that there’s the Beach Boy’s Good Vibrations, and what that has is awesome. What are the Beach Boys famous for? Their harmonies.

What happens at two minutes, 14 seconds? The greatest harmony in the Beach Boys catalogue is what. All of the instruments drop away exactly at the count of 2.14 (you guessed it, the golden ratio), except for a spectral organ, so that the boys are almost acapella, as they go into perfect harmony! It’s a moment that will bring tears to your eyes. I feel like I’ve just discovered that level in Pacman where it’s coded wrong, and you can go through the walls. The third verse of Imagine by John Lennon starts perfectly at the golden ratio, which here is one minute, 54 seconds, but there’s nothing on Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana. On Johnny B. Goode by Chuck Berry, where the golden ratio cuts, the guitar solo ends, when the piano joins in. Significant, but not very interesting. Shit, I totally forgot Respect by Aretha Franklin. Come on Aretha, you can give us something interesting, you were in the Blues Brothers, and sung at Obama’s inauguration. You’re our last hope for the top 10 to go out with a bang. She doesn’t disappoint (but then, how can she?) “ooohhh your kisses/sweeter than honey/but guess what/so’s my money” Aretha coos at the golden ratio point, in the song’s most cutting jibe. Before the golden divide, Aretha’s asking her man for respect, but now she’s demanding it. She goes from “I ain’t gonna do you wrong/while you’re gone/’cos all I’m asking...” to “keep on trying/or you might find me gone”. Maybe that’s it. Maybe the golden ratio is where these guys change. It’s where Aretha gets stands up for herself, Bob gets spiteful, and Devo get date-rapey. The golden ratio is where you find out what a song is really about. Or maybe that’s a conclusion borne out of three examples out of nine. Eh, where would the world be if it weren’t for long bows being drawn?

Here are my picks for five artists who I would love to come to the Big Day Out. The majority of you wouldn’t have heard of them but if you have, congratulations! You win money. Imaginary money. Bon Iver, originally consisting solely of Justin Vernon but now with three other permanent band members, is an indie rock group signed to Jagjaguwar. Their name derives from the French phrase “bon hiver”, meaning “good winter”. The original Bon Iver creation is stuff of legends. Justin Vernon went out into the woods, and lived in a log cabin for three months in Wisconsin. Amongst the wilderness he wrote For Emma, Forever Ago, Bon Iver’s first and only full-length album to date. Many of Bon Iver’s songs make use of vocal harmonies, a multi-layering of voices that lends the songs their unique and sometimes spooky sound. At the beginning of his performances, Vernon handed out lyric sheets to the audience so that they could sing along and lend the harmonies. One of the best songs to hear this is the chorus of Flume, a song with numerous covers on YouTube, which even Peter Gabriel has covered.

By Lisa Arthur

album Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix won the Grammy for best alternative music album and is their most successful to date. It is obvious they are a French band. European references are scattered throughout their songs, not too much that you can’t relate, but just enough for you to feel intelligent when you recognise them. 1901, the lead single from their fourth album, refers to early 20th century Paris, back when “it was better”. One of the lines “watch them build up a meteor tower / think it’s not gonna stay anyway / think it’s overrated”, refers to the Eiffel tower, which was built as an entrance to the Exposition Universelle, and of which many Parisians thought was an eyesore and would be taken down eventually.

Gold Guns Girls, a single of their latest album Fantasies has been used in Zombieland, Entourage, 90210, and Grey’s Anatomy. Combat Baby will be playable in Rock Band 3, and several of their other songs used for various television shows and other media. There is definitely a lack of good female rock singers out there and Emily Haines is a good reason why we need more like her. The acoustic version of Help, I’m Alive is also awesome and if you like her voice I suggest you also listen to Broken Social Scene. I think I have mentioned Chromeo before (last year, perhaps), but they deserve a second hammering into the public’s brain. They are Canadian, but since this isn’t America, that doesn’t work against them (maybe even *for* them?). They are an Arab/Jewish duo, which they joke about saying they are “the only successful Arab/Jewish partnership since the dawn of human culture”.

Uffie is a multi-genre artist who borders somewhere along rap and electro-pop. Born in Miami but based in Paris, Uffie has collaborated with Justice (who are best known for their single D.A.N.C.E.) and Pharrell Williams. Uffie pops up a lot on the music blog collector The Hype Bon Iver has recently collaborated with Kanye Machine, which I love and trawl regularly when The lead singer’s brother is A-Trak, a well-known West, who sampled his song Woods on his DJ, and perhaps this has influenced their work. recently leaked track Lost in the World. Bon Iver, my ears start bleeding after listening to The Edge To be honest, they sound like something out of at work. perhaps surprisingly, uses auto-tune quite a bit the 80s, due to the synthesizer that is used, but and hopefully gave Kanye some tips about its use She doesn’t rap so much as talk over her tracks, the cool side of the 80s (yes, there was a cool for good, not evil. but that’s okay. Her (dare I say it?) in-your-face side). Their tracks are often remixed and The attitude (okay, I couldn’t think of a non-cliché Teenagers’ remix of Bonafied Lovin’ is worth You might recognise some of Bon Iver’s tracks way to say it) makes up for her less than stellar putting on repeat. Hipster Runoff asks if they’re in your favourite TV shows; Chuck, One Tree singing voice. She works what she’s got with “overbranded and too gimmicky?” but this just Hill, Skins, House, and Grey’s Anatomy have all relish, swearing away matter-of-factly in most of further shows why we don’t listen to obsequious used Bon Iver songs. His collaboration with her songs. In Ricky, Uffie talks freely about all the hipsters. St. Vincent, Roslyn, was on the New Moon bitches, and asks a la Brian Griffin, “who I gotta soundtrack. However, thinking of how many Another song worth listening just for the lyrics fuck to get some cranberries around here?”. Twi-hards are listening to this song and crying is Momma’s Boy, a song that when I first heard over Bella kind of makes my skin crawl so I try Her debut album Sex Dreams and Denim Dreams I nearly choked because it was so funny in a and forget about that association. was released earlier this year and is definitely creepy “I hope that never turns into me” kind of way. Phoenix are reasonably well-loved in the States, worth a listen. She would be an awesome act live and would fit in perfectly at the Big Day Out yet somehow remains relatively unknown in So fingers crossed for the next Big Day Out New Zealand. Their single, 1901, has been on C4 alongside M.I.A. announcement and you never know, we might once or twice and it was used for programming Metric fronted by Broken Social Scene’s Emily just get lucky. advertising. Their guitarist used to be in a band Haines, is a kick-ass indie-rock band that I’m with Thomas Bangalter and Guy-Manuel de sure would give a great live performance. They Homem-Christo, now known as Daft Punk. have a song on the Eclipse soundtrack, but please don’t take that as a measure of their musical A French alternative-rock band, their debut album United was released in 2000. Their latest prowess.

r e t t e B s t It Ge

by Hayley Burrows

ou may or may not have heard about the five suicides that have happened in the last three weeks over in the U.S. These have been the result of hate crimes. People have been bullied so strongly that they have felt no choice but to end their short lives. A few of these have been because of a person’s sexuality. I won’t go into any details because I am physically sickened by them and the people doing it need a serious punch to the face and a wake up call. It’s 2010 and we are living in a changing world; you would think this type of thing would be over, but I guess not. It is not and has never been okay to judge someone because of their sexual preference, or because they are different from you. We are all unique and should not be made an outcast because of this. No one deserves to be treated this way and I don’t understand how people can go to such extreme measures to bully someone. You are not only hurting this person, but you are hurting their close loved ones, especially when the results end up in suicide. These recent tragedies have sent shock waves throughout the world and I am personally heart broken by them. Many celebrities have stoop up to it over Twitter such as Ashton Kutcher, Sophia Bush, Daniel Radcliffe, Jamie Oliver and many others to offer their support, some even making “it gets better” videos in support of these victims. The Trevor Project has been set up in order for people struggling with bullying, or if they just

need someone to talk too, in order for them to realise they are not alone in the world, and have people that will support them. Chris Colfer from Glee, who is openly gay, made a video last week with the Trevor Project and it has gone viral. It is the most inspirational video I have ever seen; he talks about how he has personally been bullied every day, and that it does get better. He says “I promise you, there is a world full of acceptance and love, just waiting for you to find it.” He then goes on to state that he hopes he can experience the change with everyone. Ellen DeGeneres also made a video, in which she tears up and begs anyone feeling alone to call the Trevor Project and get some help. She states that “Being a teenager is hard enough without someone attacking you. My heart breaks for these teenagers and their families and for our society that continues to let this happen.” How does our society let this continue to happen? With icons such as Lady Gaga, who is known for being different and expressing herself when ever she can? She is not afraid to be what she wants to be even though some of the world doesn’t accept it most of the time. I have mad respect for her now; I couldn’t see it before but now I think, with her guidance, we can live in a society where it is acceptable to be who you are. My deepest thoughts go out to the people who are suffering from these crimes and to the family’s who have affected by this. It does get better, and I think we should all remember that.

Retail Mystery Shopper Sussing it out for you first.

132 Symonds Street, AK CBD Mon - Fri: 12pm-7pm Saturday: 10am - 6pm Sunday: 12pm - 4pm Price Range: Accessories from $10 Website: www.twhitesbikes.co.nz

I have to say, T Whites Bikes isn’t somewhere I’d usually head, not really being into that sort of thing myself. But I find myself walking in anyway, curious as to what’s inside and it’s really not what I’d expected. It’s not your average bike shop, that’s for sure. The store itself is decorated really well, with a retro-like theme. Old radios are scattered around and bikes are suspended from walls. The building itself is quite old, and it’s cool how this theme is carried through. The store offers everything to do with bikes, from repairs and servicing, to new and second-hand bikes, through to a large variety of accessories. Upstairs I find a large selection of new BMX bikes, from $450 to around $1300. There are heaps of different styles, and with the help of the staff, you can customise yours to suit. The store boasts a huge selection of bikes, chosen by the expert team with plenty of experience on their side.

Looking around, I find a variety of accessories as well. The helmets and seats catch my eye; they come in a number of different colours and designs and I’m pleasantly surprised at how affordable they are. The shop also stocks a small selection of t-shirts in some cool designs, these are worth a look and I hunt through looking for gift ideas! I’m really fascinated by just how much there is on offer here, even for the totally clueless customer, like me. The walls are covered with stuff, everything you could need for your bike. And the staff are so friendly, they’re really happy to help out and offer advice. A staff member guides me downstairs to check out the secondhand section, which I didn’t even know they had. There’s several options here as well, starting at around $200. This is a seriously cool shop, definitely worth a look and walking distance from the Wellesley campus. Check out their website as well, they keep it updated with the latest stock and what the team there have been up to.

This review was written by a graduate in Retailing. If you are interested in retail and why people buy, take a look at papers in the Retail major in the Business School. You don’t have to be a business student to take the papers, so check out the website today! issue 24 2010

by Vinny Francesco

by Selena La Fleur

Imagine a life without language, a life without

speaking or writing; do you think it’s possible? We are so accustomed to speaking, reading and writing, in one language or another. I recall that there are these monks who live a very hermitic life of recluse. I personally reckon this would be fucking fantastic, but of course this is probably one of those “easier said than done” types. I reckon I could do it. See, I am the kind of man who thinks far too much (who else would write language about language?), which I have recently come to realise is not all it’s cracked up to be. At first appearance, it may seem like over-thinking could be nothing but positive, but the thing is, thinking is only one way of experiencing. The wondrous philosopher Alan Watts points out the similarity between “thing” and “think”. He says the process of thinking creates things; so for instance we may view trees, and after some observation make note of various types of trees and their distinctions from one another. At that point we start to mark the distinctions by name: “This is a pohutakawa tree, this is a kowhai tree, that is a fig tree”. This process of particularising everything can be called “thinking”, though I would say “thinging” is a more insightful name. Watts says thinking is a linear process; we can only think of one “thing” in one dimension at a time. At the same time as we are thinking reality is going on and that reality is “squiggly”, therefore a straight approach will not help us. Watts also points out that nature is geometrically squiggly and dynamic, while human architecture is always straight, square and rectangular. Perhaps we can take this a step further. A fig tree bears fruit, called figs, which goes to show which part of the tree we value. If a child was born and raised in the city as an urbanite, he may not know that figs come from trees, or that figs grow into trees, he may simply believe figs come from the supermarket. This is another kind of “thinging”, because it compartmentalises fruits and trees into different subject matter i.e. nutrition, as well as the fact we almost never encounter these trees and their fruit together. But what if a man pointed to a tree and asked me “what is this?” and I replied “that is part of the planet earth”; would that be incorrect? And if I said “that is the planet earth”, would I be wrong? Or if I were to say “that is the universe”, would that be untrue? The same can be said when the man points at me. If you try to digest it, you’d probably find this sane and agreeable. Yet we do not ordinarily think and vocalise in this way. We are trained to think in a particular way, in terms of particular things, in reference to particular matters. I was in the computer lab the other day; there was a class going on, but I was not part of the class. The teacher was droning that “sharpening is the key, you have to focus”. When I was doing my research project that was the bulk of my instruction: sharpen, focus, hone, box and compartmentalise the world into words; it is practically the mantra of academia. When I look around my society I see the language matrix, the one that would have you believe the world of words is the true one. I reckon it would do my mental health some good to just bunk-off for a while, to admonish language for just a bit. In fact, I reckon it would do us all some good.

New Messages: 1 New Smiles: 2

As my online dating career draws to an end,

I am faced with many loose ends that I need to start tying up. Firstly, my overall plan to ‘score a man’ hasn’t really worked out; as this was my initial goal before I decided to write about online dating for this column. I’m not too crushed by this though, as I realised the tried and tested “if you go out looking, you will not find” and “good things take time” is actually true. I think I’ve relied on the internet a bit too much to find someone instantly, that I have forgotten about the people around me. Secondly, new messages and smiles have begun to wind down as I am not as active online as I was in the beginning, due to assignment deadlines and exams looming. Alas, there is some good news to come from this; a success story that proves absolutely anyone can find someone online. A close friend of mine who joined some sites the same time as I did has recently started going out with a guy whom she met online. Now, these two people are not middle-aged divorcees too old to hit the clubs on a Saturday night. Rather, they’re both busy 20 yearolds, with uni, part-jobs, sports and other commitments filling up their daily lives, making it almost impossible to set aside time to meet new people. Yet, with the help of online dating they were able to meet and realised that many people their age are in the same position but are too embarrassed to join a dating website. The other day, I asked around some friends in my tutorial group if they would ever consider joining a site, or even set up to meet someone in person. The general consensus was “fuck no” and “eww, I don’t want to get raped”. When asked why, some replied “you don’t know who you’re talking to” etc. Fair enough, although when I began chatting with guys, I made sure I could see at least three photos on their profile and when adding them on Facebook made sure it all checked out. On meeting them in person, I think you just have to have your wits about you. Fortunately, nothing went wrong with my experiences and I look back at the dates as a bit of an eyeopening experience. Focusing on what could go wrong instead of what good could come from it, is what I think most people forget about online dating. Yes, there is potential risk, but hey, what’s life without the risk-factor? The fact is, the majority of people online are there out of curiosity and to hopefully meet someone they like, not to conjure up ways to make your online experience hell. So if you’re thinking about joining one, I say do it. I’m going to keep my profile up for one more week because I think I have gotten all I can from it, and just in case my virtual man is actually out there, we’ll have to wait and see!

Dear Agony Aunt

I normally go to family planning to get my pill prescription but it’s not always convenient for me to go there. Can I get my pills from AUT medical centre?

An ex-girlfriend has just told me that she has Chlamydia and that I should get myself tested in case I have caught it too. The thought of having something stuck up my willy is enough to put any man off and I am not having that done. Is there any way I could have caught it? Surely I would have got some symptoms? If I do have it will I have to tell my current girlfriend? I think I would find that too embarrassing.

From X

Dear X

Worried Sick

Yes you can. If you have not had your pills from Health Counselling and Wellbeing before book an appointment to see a doctor or drop in to see the nurse on a Wednesday morning between 9 and 12am at the city campus. You do not need an appointment for this. If you have seen our doctor for your last pill prescription then you can book to see a nurse anytime for your repeat prescription.

Dear Worried Sick

Absolutely yes on both accounts. It is essential that you go and see a doctor or nurse and get treated. If your ex girlfriend has had a positive Chlamydia test then you will be given treatment without having to have a test yourself. So relax, no swabs necessary. You MUST tell your current girlfriend if you are having sexual intercourse. She will also need to have treatment. Treatment is easy and involves taking two antibiotics. It’s best if you take your medication at the same time and use condoms for three weeks after treatment.

WARNING Chlamydia is at epidemic proportions in New Zealand Most people will get no symptoms Prolonged Chlamydia infection can cause infertility in men and women Condoms protect against most sexually transmitted infections – available FREE at Health Counselling and Wellbeing www.5aday.co.nz www.knowyournumbers.co.nz www.heartfoundation.org.nz

by Samantha McQueen

ike most, my internet habits don’t generally change. I have the sites I always check; Facebook, Twitter, Stuff, New Zealand Herald, YouTube and a smattering of gossip websites. It’s been a while since I’ve branched out into new websites and I thought, with exams coming up in a couple of weeks, it’s the perfect time to brush up on my procrastinating expertise. Foodinaminute.co.nz just happens to combine two of my favourite procrastination methods; trawling the internet and eating. For those who haven’t watched TV ever, Foodinaminute.co.nz is the web version of the cooking segment on TV one that shows right before the news. It’s basically a godsend for busy students who like to eat good food, but don’t want to slave for hours to make a fabulous meal. Hence the term, food in a minute. The website has all the TV versions of the recipes that you can browse through and print off, and the instructions are so easy anyone could do them. Like most students, mince is a staple in my groceries, but there’s only so many times you can have spag bol before you getting bored. One 23 quick look in the mince section of the website (yes, they divide all their issue 24 2010

www.foodinaminute.co.nz

meats so it’s even easier to navigate) and I quickly land on BBQ burgers, perfect for those balmy summer days that are coming up. What’s even greater about this website is that users can log on and post comments about the recipes, so you know what ones are actually great (both to cook and to eat) and what ones aren’t. On a butter chicken recipe it has four reviews, ranging from three to five stars, which is pretty good. It also has a news blog with tips for cooking, an online virtual cookbook, so you can have all your favourite recipes in one place, a health and nutrition tab and of course, all the TV segments so you can see just how it’s done in person. With holidays and summer just around the corner, this is the perfect time to brush up on your cooking skills for next year. And the recipes are guaranteed to not eat into your evening (pun!) either, meaning more time to enjoy the finer things in life… like eating.

Haikuscopes by Tenani French

aries (March 21 - April 19)

Get Twitter account // Then follow famous people // Pretend they’re your friends.

See it!

The new Aotea Square

Who loves the new Aotea Square? It’s like our city got its heart back. We once again have a nice, bright, open public space to hang out in and enjoy. Well done Auckland City Council, what a way to end your reign. As part of the project the Civic car park doesn’t leak when it rains and the Aotea Centre has a nice new entrance complete with twinkling LED lights. Looking forward to the new cafe/restaurant going in at the Aotea Centre, as well as the installation of the new mega screen on the side of the cinemas, sounds like the perfect place to go for those of us who aren’t rich fortunate enough to get tickets to the Rugby World Cup next year!

Like it?

The new Auckland Mayor

This was written last week, before we had a clue who the new mayor of Auckland was. By the time you read this we should know who our new mayor is (at this point it’s looking like Len Brown). What do you think of the new guy? Are you optimistic about Auckland’s future as one city instead of seven? Remember:You’re not entitled to bitch about the council unless you voted. :D

Over it?

Paul Henry and TVNZ’s desperate attempts for ratings

Let me start by saying I think Paul Henry is hilarious. I also think he’s a smart guy who knows exactly how his comments will sound to people. I think he does things like imply that Governor-General Anand Satyanand isn’t “Kiwi” enough to be our Governor-General just to stir shit up. It’s not a matter of free speech; it’s a matter of maturity and intelligence. Intelligent people don’t make stupidly racist comments like Mr Henry. TVNZ should be ashamed for letting his frequent inappropriate outbursts continue simply because they drum up publicity and ratings.

Love it!

Restoration of St James Theatre

How many of you have been to the St James Theatre? Do you remember raves, dance parties or even The Black Eyed Peas’ first NZ show? The theatre was built in 1928 and was so adored it was called the “theatre perfect”. After a fire in the neighbouring building in 2008 the building was left to rot, the repair bill deemed too high for Council to justify and so it sat. Recently calls have been made to restore the St James to its former glory (not unlike the restoration of the Civic Theatre across the road, which was once also doomed for demolition) and it has been proposed to become the replacement theatre for the Herald Theatre (inside Aotea Centre) which is to be incorporated into an Auckland Convention Centre complex. Finally some smart thinking on a local planning level. Bring on the restoration! If there’s something you think the student masses of AUT need to know about, send us an email to debate@aut.ac.nz with “Suggestions”in the subject line.

taurus (April 20 - May 20)

Your emails are good // Ha ha, I know your passwords // Nice Facebook photos.

gemini (may 21 - june 21)

Two more weeks of school // What you doing for New Year’s? // Want to come up north?

cancer (june 22 - july 22)

Study not Facebook // That’s how you will win at life // Will never happen.

leo (juLY 23 - AUG 22)

So many wardrobes // Have you got to Narnia? // Hmph, neither have I.

virgo (aug 23 - sept 22)

Summer nearly here // You need to go to the gym // No offence. Kinda.

libra (sept 23 - oct 22)

Horoscopes are shit // What dickhead invented them? // Probably Bono.

scorpio (oct 24 - nov 21)

This week get a date // Take them to Kelly Tarlton’s // You will defs have sex.

sagittarius (nov 22 - dec 21) Homosexual // Great Great Great Great Grandmother // Wow. Fucked up haiku.

capricorn (dec 22 - jan 19)

Comm Games in Delhi // Un-fucking-believable // Glad I suck at sports.

aquarius (jan 20 - feb 18)

Humiliation // Pants will fall down at uni // lol lol lol lol lol.

pisces (feb 19 - march 20)

Cats will attack you // Then owners will attack you // A tough week ahead.

Fraser Mildon Bachelor of Fashion Design T-shirt: Save mart Pants: Canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t remember Necklace: from Japan

issue 24 2010

Melissa Dos Bachelor of Business Pants: Santos Top: Supre Jacket: Urban Renewal Shoes: Y-3 Yohji Yamamoto

Anita Ibell Event Management s tudent (1st Year) Dress: JayJays Everything else: Vintage

Fashion vs. Art – the relevance of haute couture by Heather Rutherford

The relationship between fashion and art

s often a hotly debated topic. While most seem to agree that there is some sort of mutual, influential relationship, the extent to which they influence each other, and how effectual this relationship is, is often under scrutiny. When taking a good look at the question of fashion vs. art, defining boundaries is a lot more difficult than it at first may seem. The idea of ‘fashion’ tends to encompass everything from streetwear to Haute Couture, and although the influence of art does not permeate into all facets, it is very present in a lot of fashion.

Every year, Paris holds the seasonal Haute Couture shows. Only a select few fashion designers are considered worthy to show in these privileged shows, and while spectacular and breathtakingly beautiful, their relevance in today’s world is often questioned. One garment shown in the couture shows consists of countless hours of hand stitching, hand beading, and any sort of care you can imagine. This sort of care cannot be reproduced for manufacture; these dresses will never be sold in the shops, they have their moment of glory on the catwalk, occasionally followed by an appearance on the red carpet. And then they are retired to fashion houses archives. If they were to be sold only the top echelons of society could afford their six figure price tags, but they are never worn, just kept like pieces of art.

And on the similar note, each year Wellington hosts the annual World of Wearable Arts show. This annual event, while priced a lot less, and often involving more paper mache and chicken wire than silk and intricate hand beading, creates similarly extravagant ‘clothing’ that is also never going to hit the shop floor. British/Turkish fashion designer Hussein Chalayan is one designer whose main body of work seeks to explore the boundaries between fashion and art. Famous examples of his work include a dress that transforms itself into a coffee table and a set of models wearing nothing but varying length head veils. While these examples of his work probably venture more into the realms of art than fashion, from a marketing sense of view, they are there more of a promotional feat for his more commercial work than anything else. The same can often be said for the Haute Couture collections. Quite often they act as a bridge between fashion seasons. The designer will experiment and gain publicity with the Haute Couture collection, and then do watered down versions, or more commercial versions on their ready-to-wear collections. I asked two fashion design students, both in their last year of study to explain how they thought the relationship between art and fashion worked. How would you describe the relationship between fashion and art? Elisabeth Kwan (AUT): I would say it is hard to pick up a borderline between art and fashion. The creative world has no boundaries and you could always adapt different approaches to topics like art and fashion.

Ally Hetherington (Whitecliffe): Art is a form of expressing yourself through your work, and fashion is similar in the sense it’s a form of self expression but through what you are wearing. How much / how do they overlap with each other? Elisabeth: Some fashion designers such as Alexander Mc Queen and Viktor and Rolf are considered as artistic in the fashion world. They take risks and construct clothes in different ways and are dramatic. Therefore their approach tends to blur the line between art and fashion. Ally: I think they tend to overlap a lot depending on what sort of fashion in question. For example streetwear would have less to do with art than haute couture. How does this relationship affect your work as a designer? Elisabeth: There is no black or white as art and fashion students tend to push the boundaries because they want to break through or go beyond a certain level in their creative minds. Ally: It can make it difficult to strike a balance between the two; making something different and unique but it has to be sellable at the same time. With celebrities like Lady Gaga making everyone want to push the boundaries of art and fashion it sometimes makes it hard to come up with something original.

The question fashion critics seem to be asking is “how relevant is art and

couture in fashion today?” and they are quick to point out the extravagant costs and man hours the couture gowns take. However irrelevant or not it may be, I personally would be very sad to see the Haute Couture collections abolished. If the fashion houses are happy to spend the millions of dollars required to create a Haute Couture collection, then I am more than happy to sit on style.com and look at the results. As always, fashion designers are attempting to push the boundaries of fashion and push themselves to their extent. Art does not necessarily have a point, and that is what makes it art; therefore why does all fashion have to have a commercial ‘point’?

The Town

Record Collection

Ten years ago, audiences liked both Ben Affleck

I always get unnecessarily sidetracked wondering what genre iTunes is going to decide a new record is. It’s a meaningless question that occupies an inordinate amount of my thinking. ITunes decided that Mark Ronson’s last album, Version, was hip-hop, despite their being only a couple of rap tracks, and only one that made any impression. Calling Version “hiphop” reminded of that Stuff White People Like blog about how white people are largely tokenistic in their appreciation of black music (modern R‘n’B=bad, Neosoul=good?). I’m against talking about genre, but I mention it here because Record Collection is somehow simultaneously more hip-hop, and whiter than Version (for this one iTunes has switched its designation to “alternative”). There’s hardly a track without a rap interlude, but it’s mostly post-ironic window dressing. For fear of hate mail, I’ll stop characterising that as white, but the state remains, it’s not very hip-hop. Hip-hop’s latent versatility is half the answer to “why does that it remains dignified?” but the other half is Ronson’s respect for music, wherever it comes from. When Ronson pairs British grime-core MC Wiley with Duran Duran’s Simon LeBon, no one’s being made fun of. Ronson walks the walk of post-irony, instead of just talking the talk. But if it not very hip-hop, it’s not much of anything with a name either. This is another place where it’s better for being more ambiguous than Version. One of Version’s faults was that while it switched from breakbeat, to reggae, to big-band jazz, it treated those genres like cheap suits, to be worn to a party, and then thrown off when one gets home. As samples clash, but clash naturally, everything here is given its due respect. Take the hip-hop bits in the Simon Lebon track. They don’t really fit, but they’re not being forced to. And Lebon’s voice doesn’t really belong over an electronic melody that’s shamelessly modern, and not an anaemic simulacrum of glam-rock, but it’s not being forced to either. That track is the title track: Record Collection. “I just wanna be in your record collection” Lebon croons in the track’s refrain, making it the album’s undisputed centrepiece. It’s a song about diversity that stands as a statement of intent for a record that’s about diversity. It seems Ronson’s respect for all music extends to being the new patron saint of lost causes (he’s still trying to get Amy Winehouse back into the studio). Anyone else doing a disco ballad with Boy George could quite reasonably be accused of stunt casting, but the track is so good that it more than justifies itself. It probably helps that Boy George’s voice has aged well, into an unrecognisably husky diva. As hard as it is to believe, it’s almost as if Ronson heard Boy George singing recently, and thought “he’d be good for this track”. I can intellectualise all I want but, the most truly impressive thing is how well it comes together. I’ve said a lot about how this is superior to Version, but Version was bloody good, even if you did get a bit of a queasy feeling over Santogold having to do Jam song for a hook. Version could be a little ethically iffy, but it worked. And Record Collection works the same way. It doesn’t have to be ethically upstanding to be fun, it’s just nice knowing that you’re not listening to this generation’s Graceland.

Directed by Ben Affleck Film Review by Samantha McQueen

and Matt Damon. They co-wrote the Oscar-winning screenplay, Good Will Hunting, and starred in blockbusters like Armageddon (Affleck) and Saving Private Ryan (Damon). Then Gigli happened. Luckily for Affleck, The Town (which he also directed) is his redemption ticket; it’s a heart-pounding, slick operation that will leave you racing to catch up, without ever being left behind. The movie opens with sombre facts; Charlestown, a blue-collared Boston community, is home to more bank and armoured car robberies than anywhere in America. It doesn’t take long to prove these stats; the first scene is a voiceover of Affleck, who plays Doug MacRay, explaining how a Cambridge bank is about to get robbed. Enter four masked guys with guns blazing and terrifying threats asking for the code to the vault. These guys know their stuff. Except something goes wrong and fellow robber Jem (played fantastically by Jeremy Renner) takes employee Claire (Rebecca Hall) as a hostage; something they’ve never done before. Though Doug is good at what he does, he’s starting to think that playing dress up and stealing cash isn’t worth it anymore. After all, his father is seeing jail bars for the rest of his life for similar crimes and he answers to a menacing florist (Pete Postlethwaite). A chance to check up on Claire to see how she’s doing falls into Doug’s lap and after an “accidental” meeting at a laundromat he starts to date her, which temporarily makes him believe he can leave his former life behind. This coupling is dangerous considering she’s working with FBI agent Adam Frawley (Jon Hamm) to take down his crew. Like his directorial debut Gone Baby Gone, Affleck once again proves he has a natural talent for being behind the camera, as well as in front of it. His interpretation of Charlestown is brutal and bleak, shown as much through sweeping aerial shots as it is through close ups of rundown backyards, wire fences and dodgy neighbourhoods. No doubt about it, Boston is where Affleck shines. It also helps that the script (co-written by Affleck, Peter Craig and Aaron Stockard) is fast-paced, hard-hitting and doesn’t drag at all, which is lucky seeing as the so-called love story between Doug and Claire never really hits its stride. This is a good thing though; The Town is primarily about crime and cash. The talented cast pulls off some excellent performances – some expected, some surprising. Renner (The Hurt Locker) manages to somewhat justify Jem’s unforgiveable actions, like murder and theft, through his adoration of his almost-brother Doug. While he may be the most dangerous in the crew, he still turns to Doug for the final word, and only a talent like Renner could pull this balance off. Wild-card Blake Lively (Gossip Girl), who plays Jem’s sister Krista and the former flame of Doug, is solid in her performance of a boozy, trampy single mother from the wrong side of the tracks. It’s nice to see her golden glow covered with layers of trashy make up, cheap clothes and tacky gold and like Renner, she nailed the Boston accent. While the name may be generic, The Town is anything but. With a solid script, powerful performances and plenty of weaponry, Affleck can finally rejoin the ranks of his brother-from-another-mother.

issue 24 2010

Mark Ronson & The Business Intl CD Review by Mike Atkins

The Other Guys

Directed by Adam McKay Film Review by Jared

Mark Wahlberg’s got his fingers in a lot of pies.

Aside from acting in some of my favourites (The Italian Job, The Departed, We Own The Night), he was an executive producer on We Own The Night and he created and produces every episode of Entourage as well as acting as 2IC next to Scorsese in the brilliant Boardwalk Empire. Busy lad. What I like so much about him is that he still has the conviction to come back down to earth and act in some really average films: going from The Departed to Shooter kind of sums that up. Is The Other Guys one of those films? Largely, yes. It’s forgettable – I forgot that I’d seen it when I went to write this and that’s a bit of a sin when you’re working with Will Ferrell. Ferrell maintains his dorky weirdo persona but it shifts slightly in The Other Guys, Adam McKay’s first feature length directorial outing since Step Brothers. Ferrell, as rule-loving cop Allen Gamble, doesn’t really get out of second gear – and his trademark character explosions are replaced by subtle (but still hilarious) conversational inference. And while these ‘inference jokes’ are funny, they’re not enough to keep the film funny the whole way through. What I mean by an inference joke is one of those weird comments that Ferrell’s characters tend to make about the nature of the conversation as opposed to an actual joke. At times it holds the film up and as a result it drags along. Despite that, there is one scene involving a tuna fish and a lion that nails the inference perfectly – it was the cream on the top of a hilarious first 30 minutes. From there the film kind of dies down, with sporadic bursts of life coming from Wahlberg’s Terry Hoitz (the typical tough guy cop). It resembles a fat bloke trying to get through a joke, but requiring more and more Red Bull shots as he gets toward the punch line. The film suffers as a result but, to be honest, I don’t think it was ever going to be amazing. The plot’s weak. Two average cops step up to the plate when two crazy ‘all guns blazing’ cops (The Rock and Sam Jackson) die after a hilarious roof jumping stunt. They attempt to solve a big crime and, despite being told to piss off the whole way through, they eventually break through into the big time fraud underground. Wahlberg is a really good actor, and even in films like this, he pushes through as the standout performer. Watch it if you like weird Will Ferrell or anything that Marky Mark puts out. Good for a laugh.

A Thousand Suns

Linkin Park CD Review by Jonathan Camp

It was less than a month ago that the most

anticipated album of the year was released. A Thousand Suns is the latest instalment from Linkin Park, set to be “genre busting” and a leap-of-faith experimental album. It is this paradigm shift in direction by this Californian six-piece group that has met mixed reception from critics and fans alike. It has been highly praised by many and others quick to bag it with seemingly hasty, antagonistic judgement. It is here where my journey began with this somewhat apocalyptic album about poverty, war, life and death. Coming to this album as a huge fan of all of LP’s previous work, I knew this album was not going to be a rehash of Hybrid Theory or Meteora. It isn’t and it was never intended to be, but rather a continuation from Minutes to Midnight, with a bigger “thread of consistency” and more daring than ever before. My initial reaction to this album was not a positive one. I was frustrated and disappointment with what I thought departed too much from what made them Linkin Park. However, the more I listened to this album as a whole, the more it grew on me. The album opens with two introductory tracks. The first started with a creepy robot voice calling to God for deliverance from a fiery end, hinting at the verses recalled by Oppenheimer at the witness of the first nuclear bomb test, and transitioned into a commentary from the father of the atomic bomb himself. Burning in the Skies is a melodic and beat driven piece, bearing some resemblance to Shadow of the Day. The Eastern-tribal influenced hip-hop track When They Come For Me is Shinoda’s rap song, however he lost some of my respect throwing in “mofo” several times, which was unnecessary. The dreary mannerisms of Robot Boy are rather catchy, and it flows into Waiting for the End – a strange, distorted mix of distorted riffs and unorthodox drums which somehow works, with Chester singing at his smoothest. This is then contrasted with Blackout; a track made for the admirers of Chester’s unique and powerful scream. Unconventionally, he is accompanied by electronic keyboard and synthesised, looped drum beats. The most hip-hop and aggressive song is found in Wretches and Kings. The song opens with lines from Mario Savio’s “bodies upon the gears speech”, unleashes into dissonant guitars and crunching calamity, which will have you head banging and raging against the machine in no time. The final two songs are among the highlights, with the single The Catalyst, which raises questions of sin, salvation, and the supernatural. The album closes with the most organic track, The Messenger, played purely on acoustic guitar and piano, with Chester crooning the simple, resonating statement, that “when life leaves us blind, love keeps us kind”. I love this album now. The songs demand to be listened to in context of the entire album. Once you get over the fact that Linkin Park has changed and grown up, it takes you on an artistic musical ride, which flows seamlessly from track to track throughout. I highly recommend it.

Animal Kingdom

Directed by David Michod Film Review by Jared

We don’t see many Australian films over here.

Considering their whining accents and their frequently stereotypical portrayal on the small screen, I’m not convinced of that being a bad thing. Normally when you go into a movie with a negative predisposition, it has do work twice as hard to make a real dent, and Animal Kingdom puts in the hard yards. The Australian criminal underworld genre is one that’s been sufficiently explored. Films like Chopper and The Square delve into the world of crooked cops and rugged Aussie drug dealers, and it’s films like that, as well as generic portrayals of Australian crime on TV (from Water Rats to Underbelly), that create vivid stereotypes of our trans-Tasman friends. Animal Kingdom takes the whole genre to a new level. It’s involving and emotional without being contrived, and it shines a very real light on how a violent underworld can affect a younger mind. James Frecheville puts in an inspired performance as 17-year-old Josh Cody. Cody loses his Mum to drugs at the beginning of the film, and he’s thrust into the world of robbery, drugs and murder when he moves in with his grandma Janine (Jackie Weaver) and his three uncles. Essentially it’s a story about an impressionable boy becoming a man in trying circumstances, having his morals and his patience tested. Frecheville’s portrayal of naive Josh is endearing, without seeming fake. It’s a performance that works brilliantly alongside Senior Sergeant Leckie (Guy Pearce), who acts as the ever-present voice of reason, a voice that shines through, despite the complete mess that is the Cody family. Animal Kingdom is brilliant. It never slows down and has enough drugfuelled twists and turns to leave you genuinely guessing until the end – and even then the final scene is a real ripper. There’s nothing I hate more than a lengthy court scene in a film, and Animal Kingdom has an important trial where the result is implied as opposed to the usual explicit, boring shit. And it works! So take a leaf, film makers – court scenes are rubbish. Animal Kingdom isn’t as violent as some of its Aussie crime/drama counterparts, which works quite well because the violent bits become a lot more important when they’re not in your face all the time. There is one particular scene where a young girl is suffocated to death; it’s shot brilliantly and drawn out and even though it might upset a few of the weaker stomached viewers, the crudeness of the violence makes it a lot more meaningful. All up, Animal Kingdom is an expressive, revolutionary take on an old, beatup genre. It’s immersive and shocking and really nicely shot. Top marks.

issue 24 2010

Cyrus

Directed by Jay and Mark Duplass Film Review by Jared

Not to blow my own horn, but I’ve been saying

that Jonah Hill was a billion times better than that fat shit Seth Rogen since Superbad came out. It annoyed me how people would lump the two together, when it’s always been so damned obvious that Hill is a real actor, and Rogen is just a fat fuck who got a job just because people laughed at how much of a fat fuck he was. While that all may sound rather offensive for the sake of being offensive, it’s relevant, because Cyrus is a brilliant example of how Jonah Hill can step out of the ‘fat funny kid’ role and do something really meaningful. That is to allude to the fact that Hill was the standout in Cyrus, which isn’t entirely true. John C. Reilly is another actor who has occupied the weird, funny to look at niche – doing so in the large shadow of one Mr Ferrell. I’ve never been the biggest Reilly fan – his face scares the shit out of me and if he wasn’t famous he’d be getting more than a few paedophile stares – but he is famous and based on his performance here, it’s obvious why. In a brilliant turn toward the serious side of life, Reilly (as single man John) takes us from the depths of his loneliness through the excitement of a new relationship with Molly (Marisa Tomei / the stripper from The Wrestler) and her clingy, 22-year-old son Cyrus (Hill). It’s a side of Reilly we’ve never seen before and he overcomes his weird aesthetic with his multi-faceted portrayal of John - who is essentially just a guy falling in love and trying his best to impress a girl. What makes Cyrus such a great character is how multi-layered he is without becoming confusing. We spend a fair amount of the 90 minutes with him, and while his development isn’t shocking, the way he gets there is really interesting to watch, especially the way he interacts with John. John’s ex-wife Jamie (Capote’s Catherine Keener) does a great job in a supporting role, and provides a good level of balance to an otherwise crazy cast. All this isn’t to say the film isn’t funny. As an indie film it’s free from the constraints of fart jokes and excessive violence, and the humour is a lot more involved than we’re used to seeing at the movies – evident in the fact that while everyone won’t laugh at the same parts, there’s a joke in Cyrus for everyone. Cyrus is a great example of how one well written film can change the perceptions of an actor. It’s not the laugh-a-minute flick we’d expect from this cast – instead it slows things down and focuses on great characters. And it’s much, much better.

In the romantic comedy Life As We Know It, Holly Berenson (Katherine Heigl) is an up-and-coming restaurateur and Eric Messer (Josh Duhamel) is a promising network sports director. After a disastrous blind date, the only thing they have in common is their dislike for each other and their love for their goddaughter, Sophie. But when they suddenly become all Sophie has in the world, Holly and Messer are forced to put their differences aside. Juggling career ambitions and competing social calendars, theyʼll have to find some common ground while living under one roof. To win, email debate@aut.ac.nz with “Life As We Know It” in the subject line.

e h t t Spo nce e r e f f Di Correctly identify the FIVE differences in the two photos then circle the and drop your entry into your nearest AuSM office, or the box on the side of the red debate stands, or post to debate PO Box 6116 Wellesley St before 12 pm Thursday. What’s up for grabs? A $10 voucher for one of the cafes at your campus: the Counter, Beanz Cafe, Lime Cafe, the Hub Cafe or Manukau Cafe.

spot

Congratulations to Issue 23 winner, Hugo Sayes! (City)

debate quiz Paul Henry was suspended from TVNZ’s Breakfast last week after he did what on air? a) Said to John Key that he would make a better Prime Minister than him b) Made offensive comments about a guest’s physical appearance c) Said the Governor-General Anand Satyanand didn’t look or sound like a real New Zealander d) Took his clothes off and streaked through the studios

Australian Hassene Fkiri was disqualified from what Commonwealth sport after he pulled the fingers at the judges? a) Swimming b) Wrestling c) Shot Put d) Tennis

Who is the confirmed director for the new Superman movie? a) Christopher Nolan b) Robert Zemeckis c) Ben Affleck d) Zach Snyder

Who is New Zealand’s health minister? a) Simon Power b) Judith Collins c) Tony Ryall d) Shane Carter

Which famous supermodel recently called it quits with lingerie company Victoria’s Secret? a) Heidi Klum b) Miranda Kerr c) Adriana Lima d) Rosie Huntington-Whiteley What is the name of the popular smartphone software powered by Google? a) Safari b) Android c) Transformer d) Echofon issue 24 2010

When was Coca Cola introduced into the beverage market? a) 1886 b) 1895 c) 1907 d) 1912 Bandar Seri Begawan is the capital of which country? a) Dubai b) Singapore c) Brunei d) Vietnam What is the main ingredient in a Cosmopolitan, the drink made famous by Carrie Bradshaw in Sex and the City? a) Gin b) Whiskey c) Tequila d) Vodka 1c 2d 3c 4a 5b 6b 7c 8a 9c 10d

Which nation is not part of the upcoming Four Nations rugby league tournament? a) New Zealand b) Australia c) France d) Papua New Guinea

Jess Mee

Bachelor of Communications What is your definition of a New Zealander? My parents come from South Africa so I’m inclusive. I’m pro-culture How long did it take you to adjust to daylight saving? I’m actually a bit of an energiser bunny so I was ready to go If you could be a guy/girl for a day, what three things would you do? I’d play Xbox because I’ve never been skilled at it. I’d drive a car to see if they’re better drivers and I’d honk at a pretty girl just to see what it’s like to be a dick What upcoming film are you most excited to see on the big screen? The film I’m most excited for is Life As We Know It How many hours have you put in studying for exams? Zero, but in my defence I have five assignments so I’m definitely working

Steven Pooley

Certificate of Business What is your definition of a New Zealander? Someone that’s true to themselves and the country that they’re born in How long did it take you to adjust to daylight saving? A very long time If you could be a guy/girl for a day, what three things would you do? Turn lesbian, talk and go to a lot of Australian nudist beaches What upcoming film are you most excited to see on the big screen? The Expendables – I haven’t seen it yet How many hours have you put in studying for exams? Probably like four hours

Mahmud Alsaidi

Certificate of Business What is your definition of a New Zealander? A kiwi citizen who enjoys rugby and drives a Holden or Ford How long did it take you to adjust to daylight saving? Probably like an hour or two If you could be a guy/girl for a day, what three things would you do? Go to nude beaches. I don’t know… go to lesbian clubs and dye my hair What upcoming film are you most excited to see on the big screen? Cats and Dogs How many hours have you put in studying for exams? More than five hours

Simon MacNicol

Certificate of Business What is your definition of a New Zealander? Outdoorsy and into life How long did it take you to adjust to daylight saving? A couple of days If you could be a guy/girl for a day, what three things would you do? Go into the women’s changing rooms, see how much free stuff I could get by wearing a mini skirt and march in a lesbian parade What upcoming film are you most excited to see on the big screen? Transformers 3 How many hours have you put in studying for exams? Not many, if any

Olivia Vasseen

Bachelor of Communications What is your definition of a New Zealander? People who are pretty friendly and laidback. We’re pretty welcoming of other people How long did it take you to adjust to daylight saving? Like a week If you could be a guy/girl for a day, what three things would you do? I would sleep in because I wouldn’t have to worry about what I was going to wear. I would tell a girl I know how beautiful she is and pee standing up What upcoming film are you most excited to see on the big screen? Life As We Know It How many hours have you put in studying for exams? Zero

Caylee Geldenhuys

Bachelor of Communications What is your definition of a New Zealander? A true All Blacks supporter, socks and jandals with a laidback attitude How long did it take you to adjust to daylight saving? I’m still adjusting If you could be a guy/girl for a day, what three things would you do? Pee standing up. I’d be like the ultimate guy and tell girls anything and everything that they want to hear, because I know and I’d play Playstation all day What upcoming film are you most excited to see on the big screen? Probably the new Harry Potter; it should just hurry up How many hours have you put in studying for exams? Probably like 10 minutes; I printed out some stuff for it

PRESENTS

issue 24 2010

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