Debate | 7 DEADLY SINS | 2015

debate

ISSUE 07 | MAY 2015

Lucy Lim

Julie Zhu

Nicole Hunt

Ramina Rai

Logan Gubb

Deyne Ritchie

Julia Holden

CREDITS EDITOR Laurien Barks laurien.barks@aut.ac.nz

Pg 3: Editor’s Letter

Pg 24: Wrath

SUB-EDITOR Matthew Cattin

Pg 4: The Seven Sins of Entertainment

Pg 25: The Villain in a Cape

Pg 6: The Seven Sins of Single Ladies

Pg 26: Such is the Wrath

Pg 8: Pride

Pg 28: Greed

Pg 9: Pride, Not Prejudice

Pg 29: The Need for Greed

Pg 10: Tall Poppy Syndrome

Pg 30: Slashies

Pg 12: Sloth

Pg 32: Cool Shit

Pg 13: Sloth Be Gone

Pg 34: Dem Checks

Pg 14: Sloth Quiz

Pg 35: Gluttony

debate@aut.ac.nz

Pg 15: The Slyest of Sins

Pg 36: Diet Debate

PRINTER Debate is lovingly printed by Soar Print

Pg 16: Envy

Pg 38: This Article Contains Traces of Glutton

Pg 17: Picture Perfect

Pg 40: Recipe

Pg 18: Green with Envy

Pg 41: Reviews

Pg 19: The Bachelorette – The Green Party

Pg 42: Seven Sinful Hidden Gems

Pg 20: Lust

Pg 44: Vox Pops

Pg 21: Lust a Minute

Pg 46: Puzzles

DESIGNER Ramina Rai rrai@aut.ac.nz CONTRIBUTORS Ethan Sills, Nicole Hunt, Julie Cleaver, Fiona Connor, Abigail Johnson, Rachel Barker, Matthew Cattin, Urooza Sarma, Kieran Bennett, Mr X, Amelia Petrovich, Shivan, Connor Leathley, George Fenwick, Daniel Haines, Ali Thair, Lydia McClean, Emma Wingrove ADVERTISING Harriet Smythe hsmythe@aut.ac.nz

Contributions can be sent to

Debate is a member of

the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA) This publication is entitled to the full protection given by the Copyright Act 1994 (“the Act”) to the holders of the copyright, being AUCKLAND STUDENT MOVEMENT AT AUCKLAND UNIVERSITY OF TECHNOLOGY INCORPORATED (“AuSM”). Reproduction, storage or display of any part of this publication by any process, electronic or otherwise (except for the educational purposes specified in the Act) without express permission is a break of the copyright of the publisher and will be prosecuted accordingly. Inquiries seeking permission to reproduce should be addressed to AuSM. DISCLAIMER Material contained in this publication does not necessarily represent the views or opinions of AuSM, its advertisers, contributors, Soar Print or its subsidiaries.

Pg 22: Bootyful ≠ Beautiful

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ADVOCACY Siobhan Daly siobhan.daly@aut.ac.nz

FA C E B O O K . C O M / A U S M D E B AT E

EVENTS Carl Ewen carl.ewen@aut.ac.nz

A

nnoyed beyond reason, the Keeper was irate, Deafening Laurien with his scolding and hate.

Call her an idiot, and her heart won’t be pangin’ But don’t you dare hint that her body ain’t bangin’ She was mad that her goodies had opened Lust’s den She defended their honour “They’re ten out of ten!”

The Keeper was speechless, his spirit had died, “There it goes,” he exhaled, “the escape of Pride.” m sorry!” she sobbed “My blood sugar’s low I can’t think when I’ve got inefficient blood flow!”

“Fine! Have a cookie, you can eat while we search, For the sins you’ve let loose...” but instead Laurien perched.

“I prefer to sit idly while I munch on my treat, It’s hard to digest when I’m up on my feet.

I might like another though, to prolong my feed!”

And out walked Gluttony, tailed by Sloth, and then Greed.

With the escape of six sins now hanging over her head, The young editor was filled with remorse and much dread.

The Keeper, by this point, just stared into space, Drained of his hope for our human race.

“People are fools, I can’t cope, I quit!

I spend day in and day out trying to clean up your grit, When I lose my gusto, the sins become stealthy, They mate and they grow! Like, that’s just not healthy!”

"I EDITOR'S LETTER

T

here once was an editor, young, tall, and snuggly, Wondering what it was, that made humanity ugly.

She’d heard legends and myths drift by like a medley, Something about sins? Seven-strong, and deadly?

As though conveniently conjured, for the sake of a story, Out popped a wizard, in adequate glory.

“Where did you come from? Have I gone insane” “Shut your damn mouth, Laurien, and let me explain.”

T

he wizard spat out his title (he was a bit of a dick), “I’m the Keeper of Sins, and you make me sick!”

His frustration was justified, his day job was lame, Seven sins in seven cages that he tries to tame.

“A sin becomes dormant when locked in a jail, But you bloody humans keep offering bail!

Each time they’re set free - see the sky and the sun, It undoes my efforts, throws me back to square one!”

"I

m not sure what you mean? Could you break down the parts?”

“You’re not the brightest, is your degree in the Arts?”

Stung and enraged, she threw a punch in his path, “Gosh darnit, Laurien! You’ve just let out Wrath!”

The Keeper was right, from its cage it came bursting, Swearing, and screaming; for blood, it was thirsting.

“Get back, stupid girl!” the Keeper stepped in, Whisking the sweet lass away from the sin.

"Y

ou’re safe enough now, but your lack of respect, Has put Wrath at large, there’s a ripple effect!”

But Laurien wasn’t listening to a word he was saying, For his act of heroism was in need of repaying.

“Oh Keeper, you saved me, from Wrath’s angry hits!

I find you quite sexy.” She then jiggled her bits.

Enraged, he responded “Stop bouncing your bust!

Cannot you see, it’s the doorway for Lust!”

And sure enough, not a moment did pass, Before Lust came unchained, slinky and crass.

"I

wish I could live as carefree as you dopes, So ignorant of consequences, and slippery slopes.”

Of course in his rant, the Keeper had let Envy out, Too busy to notice, he was having a pout.

“You’re just going to stay there? Not do a thing!?”

Laurien begged and she pleaded, she offered him bling.

But not even diamonds could win back his heart, He was too far gone, an old, washed-up fart. ell, I’ll fight the fight, then! I’ll round up the sins!

Throw them in cages, like rubbish in bins, Arrange them like trophies, a weird cornucopia, I’ll do whatever it takes to establish Utopia."

Her words gave her powers - she was some kind of witch, She leapt, tackled Wrath, and made it her bitch.

One at a time, she wrestled the wrongs, Beating her chest like frickin’ King Kong.

"W A

t last she had each of the sins on a leash, It seemed like she’d found herself a new little niche.

Now where, oh where, could she lock up these pets?

Banish forever, free the world of their threats!

Of course! She was a writer! She froze stories in pages, Printing on paper’s more concrete than cages.

Escape is impossible, there’s no lock and no key, From paper, to eyeballs, to long-term memory! aurien, the new Keeper, knew what she needed to do, Expose the gross sins, and educate you.

For once you have knowledge, you have a defence, And in the fight for morality, that defence is immense.

So gather round children, and have a close read, Of the pages we’ve locked around Gluttony and Greed, Wrath, Envy, Sloth, Lust, and dear Pride, Go on. Turn the page, and behold what’s inside.

L

3

7 SINS OF ENTERTAINMENT

by Ethan Sills photo by Julie Zhu

If we are going to talk about sins, we have to talk about Hollywood. An industry once known for being all about sex, drugs and alcohol has moved on from its image to commit a more subtle form of sinning. Driven by profits and success more than quality, a lot of wrath, greed, pride and lust gets tossed around when it comes to what projects, on both the big and small screen, are getting commissioned - burying the public under a deluge of crap. Here are current trends in film and television that really need to stop.

Toy-Based Movies

Before The LEGO Movie came out, the project was viewed as a dirty cash grab, with Warner Bros seen as releasing a ninety-minute advertisement for the toy company. And then the movie came out, surprising most people with the fact it had real characters and a plot rather than simply being a tool to release hundreds of tie-in merchandise.

But as it made a lot of money at the box office, studios are now eyeing up other popular toys to get the big screen treatment. The many kiddie products potentially getting the big screen treatment include Barbie, Monopoly, Hungry Hungry Hippos, and Play-Doh, while LEGO Batman and Ninjago hope to copy LEGO’s success.

I may be jumping the bandwagon a bit, since Barbie is being written by Oscar winner, Diablo Cody, and Bridesmaids director, Paul Feig, is circling Play Doh, but… seriously? The LEGO Movie was a nice surprise, but the money likely to be spent on these projects could go towards something more original. I mean, a Play Doh movie? SERIOUSLY?!

Disney’s Live Action Reboots

Back in 2010, Disney studio released Tim Burton’s live action (though about 80% CGI) remake of Alice in Wonderland. Despite being a boring and over-stuffed movie, it managed to gross over 1 billion dollars at the global box office. Disney clearly saw this as a sign and began plans to remake more of their animated catalogue. While they haven’t hit the billion marks, both Maleficent and Cinderella have done well enough for Disney to make plans to remake most of their masterpieces.

The Jungle Book is being released next year; Beauty and the Beast is currently in production, and Pinocchio, Winnie the Pooh and Dumbo are all in development. It is obvious why Disney is doing this, but these films are largely pointless. What’s the point of remaking animated classics into ‘live action’ when half the movies will end up being mostly CGI anyway – unless they manage to get a real bear, rabbit and pig to act together. That’s a version of Winnie the Pooh I’d happily pay to see.

Shared Universes

Ever since the financial success of Marvel Cinematic Universe, other studios have leapt at the chance to replicate this success with their own properties. It makes sense for Warner Bros and DC Comics to compete with their rivals, but some of the other planned universes are real eyebrow-raisers. Transformers, Ghostbusters, Universal’s ‘Classic Movie Monsters’ and even Robin Hood are being eyed for unnecessary shared universes.

Basically none of these franchises need shared universes at all, executives clearly just assuming something that worked for Marvel will automatically work for them. An argument can be made for DC, but Man of Steel doesn’t give me great faith in their quality. I think studios should try and find interesting projects first, see if they do well enough for a sequel, then start planning mega franchises. Forcing shared universes on the public is a very risky strategy, one that probably won’t pay off.

The Oscars

There are a lot of good things about the Oscars. Studios always want to get some Oscar gold, leading them to greenlight and fund movies that might not otherwise get made. The whole awards race allows quality movies to get the attention and recognition they deserve, and promote these films on an international scale.

At the same time, these things can be fairly negative. The main studios will make projects purely to try and win Oscars, and will then spend millions and millions of dollars promoting their movies, no matter the quality, just to try and win a golden statue. Small, independent movies don’t have the budgets to promote themselves in such a way, resulting in some of the best movies getting side-lined by the more awards-friendly films getting released that year.

'Unless they manage to get a real bear, rabbit and pig to act together.

That’s a version of Winnie the Pooh I’d happily pay to see.'

Television Revivals

It is not just movie studios committing entertainment sins.

A number of television trends are showing the lazy, moneyhungry sides of network executives. The current big one right now is reviving old TV shows. After the success of 24: Live Another Day, many cancelled or long-finished shows are being brought back, including Twin Peaks, The X-Files, Full House and Heroes. Bringing back long-finished shows

(particularly ones with a ‘cult’ or geek following that would likely flock to see new episodes) is another example of blatant laziness, and a lack of creativity by television networks. It’s happening here too, with an Outrageous Fortune prequel airing later this year, probably preventing a lot of other original local projects getting funded. With so many TV projects being shot down every year, it would be nice if less attention was given to shows past their prime, and some new concepts got a chance instead.

Reality Shows

Perhaps the most sinful of trends, and one that has slowly been infecting New Zealand over the past few years. Reality game shows like Survivor and The Amazing Race hit their heights overseas in the last decade or so, but only recently has that trend made its way here. Local versions of shows like Idol flopped, but then Masterchef NZ came along and completely changed the game.

Now local channels are competing to have the buzziest, mostwatched reality show rather than putting on actual television.

The biggest culprit is TV3, who has thrown itself into the deep end, adding Masterchef, The Bachelor and Dancing with the Stars to have five high-concept reality shows on their channel.

These shows are cheap to make, with sponsorship and product placement meaning they pay for themselves. But they are largely pointless, with it all being done before, and incidents like the Natalia Kills saga show, they are just on for the sake of attention.

If local channels want to rip off international shows, I am sure they could find better ways to spend their money.

Rating Wars

A fundamental fact of television is that it is funded, largely, by advertising. The shows with the highest ratings can charge top dollar for advertising, while those with no viewers get nothing. However, even on cable networks where there are no advertisements, poor ratings can lead to cancellation. Ratings are the single biggest factor in deciding whether a show lives or dies, allowing Two and a Half Men to tell the same jokes for twelve years. This is not solely an American issue though. BBC Three in the UK cancelled The Fades and In the Flesh after one and two seasons respectively, despite both winning BAFTA Awards for Best Drama. Locally, there has, of course, been the scandal over Campbell Live as it fails ratings-wise against its rivals.

It is irritating to see quality television get shunned aside before they get the chance to build an audience, while tame, middleof-the-road programmes with little substance hang around long past their prime. The quality of a programme should be what makes it successful, not the quantity of the viewers. Just ask John Campbell and all his awards.

5

7 SINS OF SINGLE LADIES Now that I think about it, Chronic Singledom is probably the punishment for our dreadfully sinful lifestyle.

by Laurien Barks

Sloth:

Let’s be real, the chances of someone running their fingers through your hair are significantly lower than the amount of effort it takes to lather, rinse, and repeat. So what if you skip hair washing for a day or three? Just pull the stray cheese puff out of your locks, and tell yourself that people pay big bucks to achieve the level of “shine” you’re currently sporting. And while we’re on the topic of neglected manes, you’ve got so much untamed body hair, you’ve pretty much managed to turn into a literal representation of this particular sin. The fact that your stubble’s gone soft, paired with your lazy ‘I’ve given up on love’ smile isn’t really helping diminish the animalistic resemblance, either.

Wrath:

Gluttony: Honesty hour: If any man, woman, or child

Pride:

knew how much you were capable of packing away in a single lonely evening, you’d have an assembled documentary team filming you within the week. Your lengthy residence in Single City has convinced you that you’ll wind up a childless spinster, so you try to fill the gaping hole that is your echoing uterus with a steady progression of food babies. Though it’s biologically impossible to fill your womb with pizza and ice cream, you keep feasting – you don’t know much about how reproductive systems work, it’s been too long since you’ve used yours. It might as well be a second appendix.

“Dignity is a myth that single people made up so they’d feel better about not having anyone to tastelessly throw themselves on, and lick the tonsils of in the middle of the park.”

Lust: That

handsome young man working in the bookstore? Oh yeah, you know the one. Since the day you laid eyes on him your mind has been preoccupied with the thought of unbuttoning that shirt, pulling it off those delicious shoulders...and helping that young man into his favourite ‘at home’ clothes so he’s more comfortable. Let’s face it, the sloth and gluttony has made you feel too bloated to fantasize about anything beyond sharing a couch and a blanket with him. You try to bring your lustre back from its slumber, you shave your legs, whip out the push-up bra, and try to glance alluringly at the handsome devil who just walked into the party you were forced to attend. But two broken razors, two hours of being distracted by the new boob-jiggle sector of your peripheral, and two “What are you doing with your face?”’s later, you succumb to acceptance; too much single has extinguished your tingle. You give up, fall asleep, and have raunchy dreams of bookstore boy holding you while you cry.

You’ve stopped watching romantic comedies because the neighbours complained about the sounds of angry weeping, and sporadic cries of “LIES! IT’S ALL LIES!” every time Harry confessed to Sally, or Autumn showed up, all pre-packaged and ready to go immediately after Tom gets closure on his Summer romance (like, wtf...yeah just help yourself, Tom, take a second helping before the rest of us have had our first). You’re drinking wine out of a measuring cup because in your fury at Hollywood’s broken promises, you’ve managed to…um…’drop’ your wine glasses against the wall. You’re better off just sticking to film titles that you and your romantic life can relate to: The Forgotton, Untouchable, or The Crying Game.

Now, we all know confidence is sexy, and since we’ve already established that you’re in a pretty consistent state of drunken, angry, and hairy food comas…honey, confidence is the only thing you’ve got going for you at this point. So you jam out to Cyndi Lauper, practice your head-swerving finger snap and sassy “Mmmhmmm”, and pretend you actually have a choice in your single status – girl, you just want to have fun! You have your comebacks prepared for the people who think they have a right to give their two cents on your love life, and you’re ready to face the world with some serious, Kanye-level pride: “How are you still single? You’re so great!” – You obviously don’t know me very well. NEXT! “It’ll happen when you least expect it.” – Probably not, because I don’t get out much. NEXT! “Don’t you ever feel lonely?” – You can’t feel anything when you’re numb.

Nailed it.

Envy:

You may have everyone fooled that you’re content being single, but you feel yourself getting greener with every passing couple. Your “disgust” at PDAs and gagging noises when a #cutecouple photo floats across your Instagram are a clever, but thinlyveiled guise. Dignity is a myth that single people made up so they’d feel better about not having anyone to tastelessly throw themselves on, and lick the tonsils of in the middle of the park. Gagging at #engaged, #inlove, and #soluckytohavethisguy photos only masks the tearful whimpering of your own #myfurbaby, #thisismyfoot, and #doesthisrashlookcontagious contributions to the internet. But keep playing it cool, girl – it’s easier to hate love and everyone in it than it is to slay the green-eyed monster within.

Greed: This is probably the best sin you’re committing,

actually. Because it’s you in your own little, unshared world, you take as much of that world as you like for yourself. You take all the time you want, you take all of the experiences you want, you make all of the decisions, and you don’t have to share, split, or ask anyone if they want a piece of any of it. Unless you want to. You’re not a package deal, you’re not a what’s-mine-is-yours-have-half-of-my-cookie kind of person, you’re an eat-the-whole-damn-cookiemyself-and-then-reach-for-a-second-one kind of person at the moment, and you know what? That’s okay. Enjoy it while it lasts, because at the rate you’re going, it’s not looking like it’s going to end anytime soon.

7

PRIDE

Dietmar Temps

by Nicole Hunt

Racism isn’t dead, and our annoying cousin across the ditch is making sure we know this. Australian Prime Minister, Tony Abbott, has been unapologetically vocalizing his support to shut down remote Aboriginal communities. According to Mr. Abbott, Australia can’t afford their ‘lifestyle choice’ anymore. The closures have, and will continue to be done by cutting off basic medical needs, taking away community work programs, ignoring the need for basic infrastructure and housing programs, and withholding and freezing bank accounts. Across cultures, darker people suffer most. Why? Take a look at the current state of race relations within America and you’ll see why a movement aptly named ‘Black Lives Matter’ was created. The name of the movement speaks volumes about the situation in America as it merely aims to affirm that black lives do, indeed, “matter” after an increasingly lengthy string of black murders were not followed by justice. It does not proclaim that “black lives are important”, nor that “black lives are sacred”, but that black lives simply “matter”. Currently, it is a country where police officers can be recorded shooting a man multiple times in the back, then planting a weapon on him, and we are still left in uncertainty about his conviction (the Walter Scott case, among others).

What about us? Well, we’ve become quite the melting pot of cultures and bad drivers, and we all get along quite well after a few brews. Our government now seeks to support and uplift the once oppressed Maori people, who are finally able to claim settlements from stolen land of the past. We’ve overtaken Australia, thrice, in our progress of developing a healthy relationship with our indigenous people. However, racism is still alive in our little slice of paradise.

The perfect example of subtle racism appeared in front of me last year whilst watching a horror (the New Zealand general election) with my flat mates. Hone Harawira conceded defeat and was in the midst of a speech. The speech was made in English, however one statement in Maori was used within it. This one line immediately met my flat mate with distaste as she sighed and ordered him to “speak English!”.

Not long after, Te Ururoa Flavell of the Maori party began a speech, this time exclusively in Maori.

Just moments into the interview, the news coverage flicked back to host Mike Hosking, who directed the audience to a different live feed as “most of you probably don’t understand him anyway”. This acceptable brushing off of even the slightest addition of Maori culture by mainstream media says a lot about the place of Maori within our society today. We accept them, but we don’t respect them.

“As a child, I remember trying to scrub my sun kissed skin of its melanin.”

I am half Maori (also half Filipino, it’s a funny story how that happened), and as a child, I remember trying to scrub my sun kissed skin of its melanin. Heavy. My mother used to scold me for staying out in the sun too long, as according to her, my skin was becoming ‘too dark and ugly’. I don’t blame her for having this ideology. My mother grew up in the Philippines, a country with a multimillion-dollar skin whitening industry.

Soaps are marketed as ‘whitening bars’, and bleach is an alluring ingredient in moisturizers. The negative connotations darker skin has runs deep across all cultures.

Representation matters in a world where one culture dominates mass media, and just about everything else.

Although this may seem like a non-issue to a lot of you, it is important that we see and hear people who look, talk, and resonate with us. I’m convinced of this every time I hear a guy say something like “I’d only go as dark as Beyonce” regarding females he would acquire. I’m convinced of this every time I hear a girl say, “I’m too black now” after sunbathing. Dark skin is beautiful. Light skin is beautiful. But the need to preach the latter is redundant, as we are shown this everywhere we turn. It is particularly important to imbed this self-love to the younger generation. When darker skin in the media is a norm, instead of ‘exotic’, I will be happy.

9

TALL POPPY SYNDROME WHY IT SUCKS, BUT HOW WE CAN CHANGE IT

by Julie Cleaver

“Would you like to support the 100 year commemoration of ANZAC day?” the elderly man said to me with a gentle smile.

“Sure, here you go,” I replied. I put my two-dollar coin in the box and went to grab a poppy.

“Make sure it’s the tallest one in the box, I want all those special looking ones gone so that they’ll all look the same. I don’t want any standouts!” he said passionately, gesturing with his hands to convey the point.

I grabbed out the tallest poppy and pinned it to my dress. I said thank you and walked away, wearing the red poppy proudly on my chest.

Moments later a stranger stopped me in my tracks, “Excuse me, why does your poppy have a taller stalk then mine? I think you should take it off. It’s not good to have any outstanding looking ones when the rest of ours are all the same.”

Her eyebrows and mouth were tense. She looked genuinely concerned with the fact that my poppy was slightly better than the ordinary ones.

Other people gathered and began agreeing with her, “Yeah why does yours stand out? Do you think you’re better than us?”

The social pressure was too much. I unpinned the poppy from my dress, put my head down and kept walking.

“Good, now you’ll fit in with the rest of us.”

Okay, so my little story is fictional, but the metaphor in it rings true. In New Zealand the ‘tall poppy syndrome’ is very real and, in my opinion, it is a massive cultural problem. One of the most credible source known to the internet, Wikipedia, said that tall poppy syndrome is a social phenomenon in England, Ireland, Australia and New Zealand. Get this; it also said that tall poppy syndrome is when people with genuine talent or merit get attacked, cut-down or resented if their success elevates them above the crowd.

Something about that seems crazy to me. Why would we want to belittle people who are exceptional? Maybe jealousy is a massive thing here, but for some reason I feel it runs deeper than that. I believe insecurity is the root of the problem and unfortunately, it is also the effect of it.

Born and raised in West Auckland, growing up I suffered big time from tall poppy syndrome. I used to talk down my achievements so much that they would end up not even seeming that great to me. In high school I was given a fully paid scholarship to attend AUT. When I told my best friend, I initially said, “something kind of cool has happened, it’s not that great though.”

My friend, who is half-American, half-German and fully un-indoctrinated with Kiwi culture, burst out crying when I told her and she said, “Julie are you crazy! That is amazing! I am so happy for you!”

That was a big wake up call for me. It made me realise that when you can be stoked with your own achievements, you can do the same for others.

However, in New Zealand it is unbelievably hard to get away from the feeling that you must not elevate yourself above others. One of the best writers in the country at the moment, Eleanor Catton, who won the Man Booker Prize in 2013 for her book The Luminaries, says tall poppy syndrome has affected her greatly. She said that in New Zealand she did not win the national book prize in 2013 because the judges must have thought she had already had enough success. Surely winning one of the most prestigious prizes in the world would have resulted in her winning the New Zealand award, but no.

Or what about Earnest Rutherford? He split the atom, mentored 12 Nobel Prize winners, gave homeless Jewish scholars places to live in the 1930s and even Einstein called him ‘the next Isaac Newton’. To be honest, I hadn’t even heard of all his achievements before I started researching this topic, and that’s probably just because New Zealanders never praised him enough. They called him a pretty smart dude and didn’t elevate him any further than that. Sure schools are named after him, but still, he’s not raised as highly as he should be.

New Zealand humor is also centered on tall poppy syndrome. I see it in my own group and in many others, people getting together and insulting one another to have a laugh. Mocking others is central to good banter here. Sure it can be funny and it also shows how close you are, but the more you start to say something, the more you believe it. I would rather joke about random stuff and bring everyone in my circle up, rather than being told how weird I am all the time.

I can’t help but think that downing ourselves and others all the time is linked to the national depression and suicide statistics. The Ministry of Youth Affairs in New Zealand said that, “By international standards, New Zealand’s suicide rate is one of the highest in the world.” Also, according to depression.org, one in every six New Zealander’s will experience serious depression in their lifetime. Of course this is a massive and complex issue which relates to numerous factors, however maybe, just maybe, the tall poppy syndrome could contribute to this huge number.

Personally, when I bring myself down, I feel bad and when I bring others down, I feel even worse. I believe that New Zealand culture needs to change in order to boost the national happiness average and foster a more productive society. So rise up all you poppies! Rise above the fields, stretch towards the heavens and use your great height to support others in their journey as well.

11

S LOT H

SLOTH BE GONE

by Abigail Johnson I have always been a lazy s.o.b. I’m the girl at the back of a packed Les Mills class tapping out after 15 minutes. In high school, ‘extracurricular’ meant ‘stuff squares do’. All uni homework flies out the door as I sit on my couch; to-do lists end up in the bin, half ticked off. I am plagued by sloth, the most lethargic of sins, perhaps the hardest to do anything about, because EFFORT. It’s not that I’m not motivated. I am passionate, I’ve marched up Queen Street, done summer school, read classics, taught English in Korea. It’s the menial stuff. Cleaning my house; going to the gym; cooking dinner. I can’t stand Purr by Katy Perry anymore, because I sprayed it on too many piles of laundry. That fragrance is dirty clothes to me (this was when I first went flatting, stop judging me).

I’m better these days, and in fact, I’ve become such an optimist in the last two years or so, that I do tend to get a fair bit of work done. But pure motivation doesn’t get my flat clean (at least not consistently so), it doesn’t keep me from pulling all-nighters, and it doesn’t get me exercising every day. What I need are systems.

Schedules. Habits.

What you need is a schedule. Rather than writing down a long list of things that need to get done, write down what you will do when.

It’s so simple, but makes so much sense.

I have already started. Tonight I planned to do some uni work, watch TV, and write this article. I slotted each segment into hour long chunks. Before that, I spent half an hour –and only half an hour- tidying my flat.

And it worked! My flat is clean because having a time limit meant I stopped fucking around on Facebook and actually cleaned my house- fast. I’ve done my uni work, and I’m on to my second to last task; writing this article. My final task is writing tomorrow’s schedule.

Maybe it sounds mechanical, “but I’m a creative” you say. I thought that too. But research shows that scheduling your day improves your quality of life, you should even schedule your free time. Keep it flexible, loose, but assign hours to different tasks.

So I’ve decided to cultivate them. They say it takes 21 days to break a habit, and the same amount of time to form one.

Okay, so I’ve scheduled one day so far. I’m no expert at this thing, and I’ll see how I’m going after 21 days. But I’m excited, and I extend this 21 day list-following challenge to anyone who wants to stop being so god damn lazy.

Sounds like a challenge to me.

To keep updated on my progress visit abigailjohnsonwriter.com

Cal Newport, Georgetown University Professor and author, says that to-do lists are the devil; they are essentially a wish list.

13

WHICH SLOTH ARE YOU? 1) What do you like to do in your spare time? a. Babysit b. Giggle softly c. Cuddle, snuggle, pretend my boo and I are conjoined twins d. Treat myself

5) What’s your jam at the moment? a. Send Me On My Way – Rusted Root b. Be-Bop Baby – Ricky Nelson c. Wherever You Will Go – The Calling d. ***Flawless – Beyoncé

2) Which describes your go-to outfit? a. Tastefully nude b. No shirt, absorbent pants c. I like ponchos, they usually fit around two people at once d. Where do I even begin, gurl!?

6) When you grow up, you hope to: a. Not sure, yet. So long as I’ve got a great support group, I’ll be just fine. b. I’m pretty sure I might be incapable of ever growing up. c. Get married. Have babies. All the babies! They’ll love me forever. d. Be the next Tyra Banks. Is there anything that goddess can’t do!?

3) Who’s your biggest enemy? a. For second I thought it was Diego, but turns out Soto was the real dick. b. Look at me, do you really think I have enemies? c. Separation d. Corduroy 4) Your friends would describe you as? a. Annoying, clumsy, but has a good heart b. “Awwwwwwwww” c. A part of them. d. Sass with an ass

Mostly As) Sid The Sloth You’re un-co, lazy, and occasionally annoying, but that’s what makes you so endearing. You’re always up for an adventure, make friends of all different backgrounds and ‘species,’ and if there was ever a northern tribal baby that needed to be returned to his family, you’d be a shoo-in for the job.

Mostly Bs) Baby Sloth You’re the sweetest little, adorably-faced, “I didn’t think there was anything in the world cuter than a kitten” being to ever grace the earth. From your mannerisms, to your innocent nature, you find yourself tucked away in peoples’ hearts without even trying. Oh my gosh, I have to stop looking at you or I’m going to cry…

7) What is your best feature? a. I’m always up for an adventure. b. I’m so cute. c. I mate for life. And then some. d. You want me to choose ONE best feature? Srsly?

Mostly Cs) Overly-attached Sloth You’ve got so much love to give and nowhere to put it.

You wake up every morning bursting at the seams, using lingering hugs, inappropriately timed massages, and toomuch-tongue makeout sessions as outlets for your eternal, undiscriminating feelings. It’s something people both love about you, and press charges for…good luck out there, and stop touching me please.

Mostly Ds) Fabulous Sloth From your head to your long, weird-shaped toes, you have got it going ON! When it comes to appearance, attitude, and choosing wine, you’re never second best. It’s no wonder one of the Deadly Sins is named after you, Satan himself couldn’t resist what you’ve got on offer.

THE SLYES T OF SINS

by Fiona Connor

Ditch social media in study time:

Sloth.

Sloth is the slyest of sins. It creeps up behind you when you least expect it, and you will hardly know it’s even there.

Although you may not be consciously making the decision to avoid studying or doing an assignment, the fact that you are 40 words deep into your explanation of the weekend, as opposed to the Pop Art Movement, speaks for itself. To make an effort, it requires knowingly doing what is required of yourself to get there. Make things easier and exit the Facebook tab. And the Netflix Tab. And the Twitter tab. Okay, now go reopen the browser since nothing’s left, and go get researching what you were supposed to be. Put your phone down and try and switch on. Sometimes it’s really hard to get into the groove of starting something, but once you’ve got the flow of things, it should become a lot easier. Reward yourself with ten minutes of phone or internet time for every hour you work.

No distractions account for better productivity, and although I’m sure you already know that, are you actually practicing it?

No, not the wide-grinned, tooth-bearing, furry friend on one of our less-cherished Disney flicks. This sloth is defined as: reluctance to make an effort; laziness. As the world we live in grows more advanced through the capability to understand our surroundings and the expansion of technology, so too might the definition of laziness. To be lazy these days is not a hard task. As our world evolves, accessibility is streamlined and everything is being made easier for us. Modern day living demands increase from wanting fast, to immediate outcomes.

As our ancestors set out to foredge bountiful harvests, I set out to Uber to a restaurant 500m away from me. One could argue that living with these shortcuts could be the natural process of where our society is headed; propose a civilization where one day we may not even need to leave the comfort of our own homes. Think Bruce Willis in Surrogates. Maybe not quite, however, I believe it is important to implement assertive actions to avoid becoming sloths. Even though the fast-paced changing world may encourage us to be. Here’s three examples of where sloth the sin, just like Sid the Sloth, comes to show its cheesy grin:

Walk there Don’t get me wrong. This is something I am definitely struggling to get behind, but together I think we can get there, even if it is just one step at a time. Whether you’re going from one end of the road to the other, or needing to get up to the fifth floor, walking there, in most cases, will benefit you. Avoid the lift and take the stairs… okay, so you might get shamed in front of your mates about how puffed you get, but isn’t that, in itself, saying something? Escalators, especially those of the horizontal variety, can actually be walked on. Try it. Going up to the local shops to get something from the dairy? Clearing your mind by way of ingesting fresh air and observing the outdoors will totally benefit you, plus the added fitness benefit leaves little to be complained out.

Green means go Ahh yes. The automobile. If you are traveling an un-walkable distance, then getting from A to B in a vehicle is somewhat aggravating. Driving in Auckland City is, to a degree, exampled by ever-changing traffic lights and timely lines of vehicles. All of which seem to be moving in the precise direction you wanted to go. In this instance, I relate sloth to not only being lazy, but the reluctance to make an effort. Too often I see a complete lack of desire displayed by those behind the wheel to remove their foot from the break in conjunction, or as close to the light turning green as possible. Vigilance is key when behind the wheel, but so is common courtesy. Give a shout out to the person four cars back, and instead of finishing the text you were in the middle of writing, drop the cellular and look at the lights. If the colour ceases to remain a fluorescent crimson and transforms to a colour similar to that of the Wicked Witch of the West’s skin tone while simultaneously moving down, then guess what? It’s your time to shine. Show those around you that, as a driver, you have the ability to consciously not waste a collective of others’ time, and move it.

15

PICTURE PERFECT

by Rachel Barker

“Your life looks like so much fun!” ha.

This has been said to me a lot. It has been texted to me while I sit alone in my room crying over unfinished assignments, mascara streaming down my face, eyebrows beginning to sweat off, and in clothes that haven't been washed for a week. People have said it to me on instagram, a message I receive while eating an entire bag of deli meat at three in the morning, the bags under my eyes enhanced by the glowing blue light of a laptop screen. And as much as I am out with friends at jazzy eateries, travelling, buying pretty things that I do not need (but the aesthetic!) and eating photogenic foods on a sunlit deck, the world I feel I inhabit most of the time is the former. One where I am tired, and have only eaten fast-food for three days because I am too lazy to cook. One where I have been in my own company for too long and have dry skin and un-tameable hair. Certainly a reality that would deny the notion of 'looking like so much fun'.

But this is the game we play with one another. Taking the smallest aspects of our lives- a good looking meal, a trip to the beach- and publishing these moments to satisfy ourselves and entice others.

We play a game based in envy. We aren't splashing about the moments where we are feeling loathsome and lonesome, because what would that bring people’s attention to? The mundaneness of life, the sometimes-uncomfortable nature of being alone. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I don't like to spend time by myself, or don't relish ugly t-shirt/no pants kinda days. A lot of the time they are great. But they don't LOOK good, and in a day and age so obsessed with appearance, that simply will not do. There are codes and social norms that we have both constructed and learnt about the visuals of 21st century living, and which or these are cool/beautiful/worthy of envy. For instance, a smoothie in a mason jar reads “ooh she's so healthy and cute”, a pair of black Nike Free's translates as “Wow, she's fit, on trend and probably lives in Takapuna”, and the classic giggling over a coffee at some hipster

cafe that says “She's so social and fun”, when really you are perched awkwardly on the edge of your seat begging your friend to take a more flattering snap as you avoid the disapproving eye contact of other diners.

As odd as it seemed to be told how good my life 'looked', it got me reconsidering the jealous pangs I have when I see other people’s pictures online displaying their glorious lives. That being, if someone thinks my life looks like that, then these people I stare at longingly probably have all the quiet little down moments too. No one’s life is as perfect as it appears. I know this, yet still catch myself feeling envious of others. When we see a beautiful smile on a screen, it is easy to forget that these people, too, have moments in tears, and of boredom, and they probably don't think they have the “best life ever!” Everyone seems to think their life is dull, because everyone is comparing their reality to pictures of other people. It's about time we started comparing only pictures to pictures and reality to reality (not that we should really be comparing at all really, but that's a topic for another day). Everyone has parents that fight and insecurities about their appearance and hundreds of other things that we like to pretend aren't a part of our lives. But pretending only has a negative outcome, as it brings about jealousy and dissatisfaction in others.

I am not suggesting that we go forth and publish all the bad, and drown everyone in the dross details of our lives, and I am also not saying that we need to pull back on showing everyone all the cool stuff that happens to us. Instead, I'm hoping that we realise that these ups and down in life are not mutually exclusive. There is good and bad and pretty and ugly and happy and sad in every life. It sounds simple, to say to ourselves “Well I'm sure they have bad days too”, but the genuine realisation is something else. When the envy can be replaced by happiness for someone else in their moment of personal joy, that's when you know you're on the right track 17

GREEN WITH ENVY

by Mr X Envy would have to be the most well-known sin in the colloquial lexicon of the public. Envy surrounds us, it is internalised with us. Many of us will deny these feeling of envy, but when someone close to us succeeds, there is no doubt a manifestation of unwarm sentiments towards those we purport to admire. It is no secret that humans, individually, want to be centre of attention in some way, shape, or form. We want to rise above others so that we may be regarded as titans amongst lesser beings, all the while hoping that feelings of envy may manifest in the minds of those who supply us with admiration. We hope they may fail in their conquests, and in their failure, a solidification of our success with further be entrenched in the minds of observers. So that others may know our accomplishments to be above that of an ordinary life lived by an ordinary individual. Envy must be the precursor to fear; the fear of an ordinary life is what drives many to push the boundaries, to rise above others.

When these feelings begin to emerge, attempts are made to suppress them so that steam may not erupt from within our ears. In reality, envy, at its most extreme manifestations can be an unpleasant experience. It is used as the justification to adopt a

mind-set of anger and hate at those who we perceive as being advantaged at an unfair cost to ourselves.

Envy is what drives us. Humans have an unsuitable appetite to compare themselves to one another, to rank or quantify ones position in society. Many people shun the sin of “envy� without attempting to make some sense out of it. Envy is casted out as evil. No doubt there are wicked people who exist in this world and who will easily succumb to the dark temptations of envy that reside within their hearts to achieve their success, while depriving their former object of idolatry their warranted dues. Take for instance, crime. Why do people do it? It cannot be for natural wants such as food and water. After all, there are many out there who will remain steadfast to honest virtues without succumbing to greater misdeeds as perpetuated by feelings of envy. Sometimes envy is often thought of as force of evil, I would like to think it can be used as a force for good. Our suppression of envy is what acts as the catalyst to better ourselves, to some extent. After all, it would be incorrect to declare the achievements of others have not fuelled our own ambitions for glory.

Of course, this is wholly dependent on the nature of the individual.

THE BACHELORETTE: THE GREEN PARTY EDITION

by Daniel Haines

Lust

All four nominees in the Green Party male Co-Leader election were dressed to impress. They were participants in an elaborate game of The Bachelorette, except it will be members of the Green Party, not Metiria Turei, who will decide the winner. Regardless, Metiria can’t help but pass her judgement: ‘Kevin Hague, your deep husky voice was let down only by your Professor X profile; Vernon Tava, I appreciate your recent attempts at hair growth; Gareth Hughes, loved your Justin Bieber impersonation; James Shaw, I admire the commitment you made in changing your name to Arthur – almost stole the limelight’.

Gluttony

All of the nominees are accused of gluttony after endorsing Metiria’s ‘feed the kids’ bill.

Greed

All nominees performed well in this episode. With the exception of Vernon, all other nominees are: current Members of Parliament, well-paid, white, middle-class, liberal, with a tertiary education.

Unfortunately the audience had to listen to nominees, from a position of relative privilege, talk to poor people about why they are poor. The irony wasn’t lost.

Sloth

The show was filmed at nine candidates’ road show meetings all across New Zealand. While many Green Party members have welcomed the contact time, Shaw was frustrated that Air New Zealand wouldn’t accept carbon credit as a form of payment.

Gareth, an almost digital native, advocated for using technology to facilitate the meeting – an idea strongly rejected by Kevin.

When the audience asked which House they belong to, each candidate answered: Kevin (who didn’t catch on fast enough), Parliament; Vernon, Hufflepuff; Gareth, Gryffindor; and Shaw (terribly confused), Slotherin.

Each year the Green Party elects, or re-elects, its leadership team. Earlier this year, for the first time in eight years, Russell Norman announced he would not seek re-election as Party leader. Four nominees have stepped forward and the election will take place on Saturday 30th of May, until then, the nominees will participate in a delightfully sinful road show across New Zealand.

Wrath

Akin to how The Red Flag used to be sung at old union meetings, the Green Party Charter is read at every candidates’ meeting to dogmatically reinforce nonviolence, clean living, and good sportsmanship (completely un-Australian). Later, the nominees unanimously pledge, if elected, mother nature will promote droughts, bushfires, floods, cyclones, and hurricanes in Australia as retaliation for the sledging the Black Caps received in the Cricket World Cup final – oh, wait – that’s already happened.

Envy

The Green Party use Preferential Voting to conduct their elections, this means voting delegates will have to rank the candidates in order of their preference. Despite some hard-hitting questions from the audience, none of the nominees would reveal how to rank the ballot sheet (unlike some other parties where current sitting MPs openly endorse factions). Allegedly, all four are incredible friends off the pitch and out of politics.

Pride

All of the nominees proudly tried to outdo each other in answering: ‘what is your greatest memory as an activist’. Kevin was proud of his involvement in marriage equality. Despite being manhandled off-stage, Vernon was proud of wearing his union rosette at a graduation ceremony. Gareth was proud that he’d been arrested while dressed as Ronald McDonald while protesting genetically modified chicken feed. Finally, Shaw was proud of advocating Green values to the business community as a sleeper agent. All of the candidates were too proud to admit they agreed with each other on 99 percent of issues.

At the conclusion of the series, Gareth and Vernon has not yet resolved who was more vegan, Kevin has left early to attend the premature celebration party Russell Norman has thrown for him, and Shaw who can’t drive, popped out to call Green Cabs for a ride home.

19

LUST A MINUTE

by Matthew Cattin

Singledom is a glorious state of golden opportunities. With ties to no one and a heart unshackled and untamed, the oceans of love and lust and everything in between are yours to explore. Navigate your love boat around the lengthy groynes, delve deep into the salty caves, make merry with the many mer-people of the marvellous seas.

Well that’s what I’d do if I could unsheathe my love boat from the dry dock. You see, while many look upon singledom as a time to be alive, a time to reap and plunder the seven salty seas, I’d say I’m more the type who sits alone on the shore, afraid to dip my toes in to test the depths, and thus content merely to watch and wonder what the world could be should I get my sea legs.

As I approach the empty seat, I wonder if she notices how damn good I smell this morning – dat masculine sweat mixed with toothpaste and testosterone. Here goes… You’re doing it. Just sit down…

The bus accelerates and I lurch forward past her, spinning 180 to plonk myself down next to sweaty graphic novel guy. It seems he too had to run for his stop.

There’s disappointment, to be sure, to be sure… But I know deep down it was for the best.

It’s 9:14, and struggling to stay awake after an emotionally exhausting morning, I head for the coffee shop. “Small flat white please,” I beg. Money passes hands and I leave the queue to await my drug, almost bumping right into… Oh my…

Ay, I am painting a rather melancholy picture of my experiences with being a single fella, but I’d be lying if I said I was perfectly content to be alone. But the problem is, I’m frankly just a bit shit at getting out there and meeting people. And therefore, many of my days end up like this…

Bronze like medium strength Ghana roast and sweet like Stevia, there she is, right behind me in line. We accidentally make eye contact, and she smiles. She must have noticed my strong alpha male presence dominating the room… I grin back demonically and quickly pretend to txt mum to diffuse the situation.

It’s 7:48 when I hop onto the Auckland express bus.

I’m a little sweaty from my spent-too-long-eatingbreakfast run to the stop, but I’m feeling positive – the sun’s out, birds are chirping and oh my… Who is this? Sitting there looking like an AT angel. Careful not to look too long, in case she notices me, I casually make my way down the bus. Of course, there is a seat right next to her, shrouded in sunshine like a heavenly signal.

I wish I could wrap this all up philosophically, in a way that eloquently ties in my anecdotes to some deeper facets of human nature. But alas, I’m pretty sure I’m a just little bit shit at stepping out of my comfort zone.

Part of it comes down to me worrying that the people I want to speak with won’t want a bar of it, but at the end of the day, I think just about anybody would be okay with a simple hello, how’s your day going. And who knows, maybe we’re all just as afraid as each other, choosing to daydream about possibilities instead of attempting reality.

But srsly, who is this marvellous creature? Where does she come from? Did she notice how confidently I tagged onto the bus? Or perhaps how masculine I appeared, leaning against the lamppost like I didn’t even care if the bus stopped? Of course she did you sly dawg… You’ve still got the magic…

21

Bootyful ≠ Beautiful

by Laurien Barks In twenty years’ time, I’ll be sitting on a couch with my kids, flipping through an old photo book, and listening to them laugh about the trends, music, and fashion that were in style back when I was a twenty-something.

“Yes kids, it was a strange time. Back then we thought it was cool to have the galaxy printed on our clothing, take photos of ourselves doing painfully mundane things, and if you were a Bachelor of Arts/Communications kid who didn’t want to become a travel writer/photographer…well, you might as well have worn a giant ‘I’m a freak’ badge across your chest.”

Then I would turn to my daughter and say, “But, Hurricane (name approval pending), the truest sign of success, back then; the ultimate reassurance that you were going to be okay in this world, was not your style of dress, social media upkeep, or dreams for the future. No, my sweet girl, the way to win the game of life…was to have a massive ass.”

It’s no secret that Lady Lust has decided to set up camp on the exceptional derrieres out there – the ones that boast a certain… je ne sais quoi? Lol jokes, we all know exactly quoi: Them booties be large. With the backsides of Lopez, Minaj, and Azalea ba-donk-a-donking their way across pop culture headlines, it’s no wonder 2014 (spilling well over its seat and into 2015) was the year of the booty. It came as no surprise – to me at least –“She squats, bro”, butt implants, and boxgap obsessions made their way to the party soon after the tushy explosion (lawl). I mean, with so much street cred and attention being given to the booty, of course people were making sure their gluteuses were reaching their maximus potential. It’s what we do, as humans. We strive to live up to our own manufactured, ever-changing, unrealistic beauty standards. And when we can’t, when we don’t have the body type, the time, the willingness - we admit defeat, and learn to be content with our own unique brand of sexy.

We may not be what society calls ‘beautiful,’ but we’ll be our own - and the people who love us’ - individual kind of beautiful. Beauty’s in the eye of the beholder, right? Lusty temptations differ from person to person despite the slight influence modern body fads have...

BUT(T) I’m not here today to hop on board the ‘every body is beautiful’ campaign and discuss an overdone, over sung, and well over-argued topic. Don’t get me wrong, I’m one of the biggest body confidence fanatics around, it’s a topic that I’m passionate about, and I truly do believe that every person deserves to feel confident at any size, shape, and level of ‘ripped-ness.’ And it’s because of this that I’m forced to ask society, Meghan Trainor, and even myself: “Why must that confidence be found in physical beauty?”

Think about it. Every body is beautiful, everybody is beautiful, everyone is beautiful in their own way.

Are they positive sayings? Sure. Do they promote confidence? Sure. Do I, personally, like reassurance that I’m physically attractive from time to time? Of course.

Do I like that this is the way the world works. Not really.

It shouldn’t be important for us to look in a mirror and see something wor th l u s t i n g ov e r.

At the risk of sounding like a major bi-atch for a second, I’m just going to come out and say something: Everybody is not physically attractive (my email’s at the front of the mag if you’d like to flick a bit of hate mail my way now). It’s impossible. With the beauty standards changing across time, with biological components like facial symmetry, masculine/feminine shapes and their corresponding links with fertility, and a whole slew of other things - there’s no way in hell the phrase ‘Everyone is beautiful’ can ring true. At least not in the way we intend the word ‘beautiful’ to be defined when we utter that sentiment to one another.

Beauty - in the literal, aesthetically appealing sense of the word, is a single trait that not one person on this earth has a say over. It’s like height or eye colour.

Can we do things to tweak what we’re born with? Yes. But why is there so much more of an impulse, desire, and importance found in our ability to tweak our ‘attractiveness’? We don’t go around saying ‘Hey! I don’t want to hear that negativity! Everyone has blue eyes!” and we definitely don’t see Dove campaigns advertising that “Every woman is artistically inclined.”

If we did, it’d be a) weird, and b) false. The fact that a large number of us lack those particular traits isn’t taken personally, we find value in other components of our being because the things we have no control over shouldn’t, and for the most part don’t, define us. Yet we reassure ourselves and each other that every single one of us has a trait that, while interpretable, fluid, and somewhat open to influence, is still pretty concrete when you get down to it.

Lust plays a large role in this. Lust is physical beauty.

Lust is desire. Lust is a big booty. Lust is the driving force behind the self-destructive nature of society’s morale.

Lust is the pursuit of a single trait that has structured and falsely shaped our interpretation of the word ‘beautiful,’ and I’m not a huge fan. We don’t give a second thought to whether our friends or family find us attractive, because we sure as hell hope they aren’t lusting after us. Real love for others and for ourselves comes down to irreplaceable qualities that won’t eventually succumb to gravity - so why are we so busy idolizing, tweaking, and feeling worthless when we don’t feel lustable?

When we don’t feel pretty. It shouldn’t be important for us to look in a mirror and see something worth lusting over. Like those nearest and dearest to us, we should be seeing something worth loving. But according to body confidence ads, J-Lo’s booty songs, and photos of half-dressed plus size/normal size/tiny size models... feeling physically attractive = loving yourself. Feeling unattractive physically = not loving yourself. It might sound extreme, and there are exceptions out there, but too many of us are trying to love our bodies, faces, and physical imperfections because there’s an overwhelming sense of confidence that comes with that contentment. I just wish that acceptance didn’t have to hinge on qualities that would sit at the bottom of most of our loved ones “Why I think you’re awesome” lists.

Like many people out there, I have days where I don’t feel ‘beautiful’. That’s not me being downers and that’s not me being overly-vulnerable. That’s just me stating a fact. I’m a confident human being, but I don’t feel ‘beautiful’ much of the time, and I hate that feeling that way often ruins a portion of my day. Why do I hate that? Because I have yet to have a day where I don’t feel intelligent. I have yet to find a day in which I don’t feel creative. And I have yet to experience a day where I look in the mirror and say “Ew...you need to whip your compassion into shape ASAP.” But all of those traits that actual construct a person’s essence are made redundant the moment you think your booty looks flat, or your skin looks blemished. What a damn waste of a bad mood. You could’ve saved that mood for the next time you go to the store only to discover they’ve run out of strawberry Oreos.

23

THE VILL AIN IN A CAPE

By Shivan When I think of the Seven Deadly Sins, I immediately think of Wrath, a sin that has so many dimensions and complications to it. The feeling of anger can trigger many different emotions, and really bring out the best or the worst versions of ourselves. For me, I think of an all-black, leather-caped villain like Maleficent, but to others, capes are sometimes seen as a symbol of heroism. Like the contradiction of the cape, wrath shouldn’t always be associated with negative connotations. Anger is a perfectly healthy feeling; what you do with that anger is what makes the difference.

‘Madonne’ White Cape Dress by Valentino

Capes have always exuded a mystical and magical appeal. During the Medieval era, capes were an essential fashion accessory for aristocratic men and knights. This cavalier style then went on to inspire fashion during the Victorian period. Fast forward to the 40’s, 50’s and 60’s when designers like Balenciaga, Balmain, and Yves Saint Laurent took this cavalier style to the Paris fashion scene. Since then, the cape has taken its rightful place as “icon” in the history of fashion. From the runway, to the shoulders of the most influential pop culture personalities of the 20th century, the cape created a muse out of you.

The 21st century broke all boundaries Designers like: Valentino, Chanel, and Alexander McQueen took the Cape into a modern dimension through the use of colours, patters and embellishments to bring this style, originally worn by aristocracy, to the ready-towear market, and high end couture.

With winter coming around the corner there are many different ways you can incorporate the cape into your closet.

•

Be bold and don’t be afraid to try coloured & printed capes to brighten up your daily wear.

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Mix it up with different textures and patterns.

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For daily wear, I always suggest short capes as it’s easy to wear and is fitting for a casual, yet formal surrounding.

Day Cape

Try experimenting with both pants and skirts.

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For night wear, I would suggest long caped gowns, preferably with built in capes.

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If you would like something more versatile and easy, you could always try putting a jacket over your shoulders to give the illusion and silhouette of a cape.

Jacket worn as cape

25

by Mr X

In the film, The Equalizer, Denzel Washington plays vigilante, Robert McCall, who throughout the film unleashes a force of wrath against individuals that prey on those unable to defend themselves. I am awed by McCall’s spectacular and technical proficiency in delivering wrath to those who did not heed his fair-minded warnings. Mr McCall, in effect, is disposing of the human refuse, and I am not disturbed by the gratuitous violence. Because I am aware it is a work of fiction, and if my memory serves me correct, The Equalizer is the adult equivalent of the classic children’s tale about the time Goldie Locks was eaten by the three bears. Fiction does have a habit of imitating life. Wrath is not some distant quality expressed on silver screens. It is pervasive, and you would only need to switch on the nightly news broadcast to see the amount of wrath that surrounds us. From wars in faraway lands that appear to be from another galaxy, to the horrors of crime that confront us in our daily routines.

It is impossible to escape from wrath, which may explain why there is so much to be said about wrath.

Science and religion all have something to say about the phenomena of wrath, from the transcendence of humiliation, to upholding one’s perceived righteousness. The questions are limitless: What causes it? How does it happened and why? These are all worthy questions that would warrant intellectual endeavours to answer them. Is it human nature to destroy and to kill? Is it hard wired into our DNA, so that no matter how much we resist, we give into the most destructive acts? A pessimistic answer would be yes to the above. And perhaps that is the only truth which can be given in attempting to understand wrath; there is not much we can do about it. Nonetheless, what little we have done to keep wrath in check can be described as humanity’s trivial attempt to be decent. The construction of laws are best regarded as our species’ attempt to be decent to one another. image by miuenski miuenski

“In other words, wrath is used to subdue the wicked who set out to commit immoral harms.”

A nihilist will regard laws as meaningless words, written on pieces of paper, for the dictation and guidance of those who easily fall prey to the blackest temptations of cold desires. I would like to hope these abstract devices of the human mind, laws, rules and regulations are a beacon of faith that shines light into the darkest crevices of the human soul, mind and heart. In an ideal world, our laws would be reflective of the desired sentiments of human morality. Then again, in an ideal world, human decency would triumph, thus rendering the rule of law obsolete, ensuring individuals are guided by principles admonishing wrath but enlightened by knowledge. But we have not reached a stage of supremacy and I do not know if we ever will. How could we humans take that final step when there are so many wars being fought in the world, so much starvation, decadence, chaos and ignorance; all variables symptomatic of wrath.

It is here that we come full circle. I mentioned earlier that it is impossible to escape from wrath, but the lack of escape is not necessarily cause for resignation. If we accept wrath to be a tool; a technology if you will, biologically encoded into humans from time immemorial, then as I have said elsewhere, biology will not, and should not equal destiny. Rather than shun wrath, embrace it; use it for a force of good. Think about it. Whenever tragedy strikes, feelings of wrath emerge and attempts are made to rationalise or justify the inevitable retaliation. We want to make right what is bad in this world. In our desire to rid the world of the evil that accompanies wrath, we would have to do what is necessary and transgress against those who would seek to inflict wrath on others. In other words, wrath is used to subdue the wicked who set out to commit immoral harms. In a previous issue of Debate, multiple contributions struck me with the idea of what individuals often take for granted; that is the expropriation of wrath from wicked caprices and turning it into a force for good.

For the sake of clarity, I will touch upon two examples, individually, as they validate my point. An environmental scientist’s discontent with the student population for failing to use the correct bin is justified. What else could possess someone to sift through our garbage if not for good intentions to educate the public on the virtues of recycling? A law student discussing the adversities faced by females in Afghanistan, adversities wrought by their fellow humans, serves an exemplar of one individual’s anger at intolerable injustice; an injustice which evokes empathy to once again to rectify what is wrong and make it right. If wrath is situated at one end of the continuum, then I can only hope human decency is situated at the opposite end.

27

Julie Falk

by Amelia Petrovich

Damn me straight to hell, but I’ve never bought into the whole ‘Seven Deadly Sins’ thing completely. In my mind, they’re an example of un-fun people taking potentially fun things and turning them into gross guilty things. Like, let’s be real here… who is actually going to argue against Lust? Being lazy is always fun (and sometimes well deserved, I’m looking at you Media Comm essay) and heck, sometimes you just need a good, wrathful vent about the world and all its ills! ‘Seven Deadly Sins’? More like ‘Seven Kind of Extreme But Also Necessary Human Experiences’, am I right?

One ‘sin’ I’m particularly passionate about is Greed. I feel like it’s a big mistake to group Greed together with a bunch of other ‘sins’ and then write it off as a concept we, as a society, should not go near. Granted, too much of anything can be detrimental and ain’t nobody got time for powerhungry tyrants, but I sometimes wonder if there isn’t something positive to be taken away from this specific ‘Necessary Human Experience’.

The word ‘greed’ itself means ‘an intense and selfish desire for something, especially wealth, power or food’ according to my far too frequent friend Google (yes that’s right, I’m completely Sloth-ing it on the research front, dictionaries are boring). Now, I mused upon this somewhat and realized two very important things, the first being that I am hungry as heck right now and am probably going to have to give in to my ‘selfish desire’ for food very soon (Gluttony is also a very fun sin, holla). The second thing that caught my attention though, was the bit about ‘an intense and selfish desire for something’.

Now, the ‘selfish’ part isn’t that cute, so let’s forget about it for a second and think about desiring something intensely.

Buddhists say that desire is the root of all human pain and that we should strive to simply accept things as they happen and not ask for anything more from the universe… I disagree. Wanting something, anything, an extreme amount can be incredibly motivating and rewarding. Think about that top grade you want in your favourite paper, are you going to just sit passively and be all ‘whatever will be, will be’ about it? Hell no you aren’t, you’re going to chase that desire and work your ass off until you make it happen!

By dismissing Greed and its definition entirely, we extinguish a bunch of tried and true life advice like ‘Carpe Diem’, ‘Nike: Just Do It’ and ‘YOLO’, which would be horrid because at least one of those phrases is credible (maybe). There is no shame in wanting something intensely, folks! You aren’t a ‘sinner’ by chasing cool ideas you’re keen on, or wanting positive stuff for yourself. Text that cutie, enter that competition, save up for that flight- you can do it all! Maybe we should all be a little more ‘Greedy’ and refuse to accept anything less than happiness for ourselves, hmmm?

I don’t know, maybe I’m just looking for a way to justify the crazy amount of cereal I’m about to go downstairs and scoff. But probably not, I’m 92 percent sure that I’m correct. Let’s all go be ‘sinners’ and squeeze every drop of cool stuff out of the day!

29

We exist in the age of the slashie. Young and hungry professionals who rule the multi-tasking territory of the modern workforce. For these greedy few, just one profession simply isn’t enough, and upon asking what they do, you will be met with “Oh, I'm a something-slash-somethingslash-something that's probably not even real-slash-something.” Oh. Obviously.

S ASH ES

by Rachel Barker

For instance, if you attend any design or communications post graduate events, you'll probably be introduced to many an artist/ photographer/creative spirit/fashion designer and singer/director/travelling improv actor/ writer. Nowadays it seems we crave more than just one line of work, let alone one at a time. It is not enough to choose one passion, so instead we pursue them all, greedy for more and more self-satisfying action. And why not? Why, in the 21st century, should we be confined to just one thing? Is it selfish as a chef to also design your own restaurant’s logo, or to become your own creative collective with no other members? Well if you're good at it all, and enjoy it all, then there is nothing stopping you from going forth and joining the ranks of the slashies.

So what is it that has us lusting after multiple career paths at once? Perhaps it is, that unlike other generations, many of us were genuinely encouraged as kids to pursue the things we enjoy and not just become a teacher, lawyer or nurse (unless you want to become a teacher, lawyer or nurse, and that's totally cool too. Hell, why not become a teacher/lawyer/nurse slashie hybrid.

You could be the first!). Our options were open from childhood as everything told us to chase our dreams and reach for the stars, and some of us got carried away from that point onwards.

We were no longer refined to cliques, and it was not a choice between being the sporty girl, or the slightly weird arty one, the teacher’s pet, drama kid, or science nerd. Suddenly star rugby players started to pick up paintbrushes, and the smart kid in maths class joined the school play. Our attitude to our own ability and the perimeters of what we could achieve in the world grew. 'Maybe I can do it all' we smile to the sky. Ah what wonder the future holds...

But perhaps we have bitten off more than we can chew. Choosing the life of the slashie is not easy, and can often lead to spectacular failure, swollen egos, and a lack of focus. Maybe it is important to choose one thing, to work at it and become the best we can be. We are kept on track in life and in our place, and prevented from buying into our

own image as a superhuman force. Being unable to specify one thing we want to do can cause us to procrastinate in all areas that we dream of some achievement. There are a lucky few- think Lena Dunham, Mindy Kaling, Tavi Gevinson- that have managed to rise above these common downfalls, but it truly takes commitment, talent, determination and patience to achieve this.

Most of the famous slashies we know are models that could not be satisfied, and their hunger lead them to become actors, or singers who began fashion lines. Although not prime examples of this, it is often those in creative environments and career paths that fall into slashie-ness (I know it's not a word, but just go with it, we will all live).

The lines of creative expression in acting/singing/ writing/film-making/photography etc. are often blurred because of the desire to express through every facet of creativity. However there is widely recognised correlation between creativity and the melancholic. Depression, mental illness, highly romanticised painters, musicians that died of drug overdoses. We are all too familiar with this, and perhaps for that reason creatives, who desire it the most, are the worst candidates for slashie life.

Simultaneously battling the demons that come with a creative mind, as well as taking on all the responsibilities of six careers in a bid to do it all, may be too much to handle. It is easy to crumble under the pressure of one life, let alone many.

So where does this leave us. I suppose it seems a little frightening; the idea of failing because we are so greedy for success. But there are some desires that we cannot ignore. It seems it is in our nature, built into us from a young age. Would one go so far as to call it a generational curse? We are consumed by greed in all aspects of life in the naughties and twenty-tens, but our slashie desires at least seem to come from somewhere pure. A childhood love/positive parental encouragement/ our naive beliefs and a want to chase the sky. So follow your little slashie dreams, it may be scary, it may be unsuccessful, but if you work hard enough, you might just manage to make them some of them come true.

31

COOL SHIT

Greed ain’t always a bad thing. Especially when it can win you these motha flippin’ prizes! Get amongst our seven deadly (okay, not quite) challenges to score yourself some sinfully sweet stuff!

TAKE

PRIDE

Take Pride: Ain’t nothin’ sinful about being proud of your creative side.

Let Gordan Harris set you up with art supplies to boast about with a $50 voucher. Simply email lbarks@aut.ac.nz with a sinfully talented example of your artwork (no matter the style) to be in to win.

Lusty Lashes Maybelline, being the saucy little minxes they are, have given us seven mascaras to give away this week. The first seven entries to spell out their biggest ever ‘Makeup Sin.’ For example: Laurien once wore pink eyeshadow so heavily, that people thought she had conjunctivitis.

Email your entries to lbarks@aut.ac.nz

Oh my God, what a glut!

We’ve got not one, not two, not three, but SEVEN free cheeseburger vouchers for Burger King to whoever can complete this week’s wordfind, AND write us the cutest note underneath it. Just tear out the puzzle page in this issue once completed, and leave it in one of our many red stands.

CHOCOLATE SIN-PHONY Let’s be honest, there’s nothing quite like sitting around and eating some quality bon-bons to indulge your inner sloth. Well, Colestown Chocolates has combined the best of New Zealand ingredients, with premium Belgian chocolate to bring you something so angelically tasty, you won’t feel so bad about partaking in sin. We’ve got a collection of three preservativefree, 100g chocolate bars here (Milk Chocolate, Dark Chocolate and Chilli, and Earl Grey) for the person who can convince us in either writing or a picture, that they are AUT’s biggest chocoholic. Email lbarks@aut.ac.nz

Good Deed instead of Greed Instead of being a greedy guts and hogging all of mother natures’ resources, do her a solid and incorporate one of these keep cups into your daily coffee routine. The first five people to head into our AUSM office and say “Mug lyf” to our lovely receptionists will be handed a schmancy new coffee cup, and a cleansed soul.

Jelly Much?

Be the envy of all your pals by using this $50 House of Travel voucher to jet off on your next adventure. Just Facebook message us a one-sentence description of your dream holiday. facebook.com/ausmdebate

iMAD It’s enough to make the gentlest of beings turn into the personification of wrath when an unwanted scratch or ding makes its way to beloved technology. Structure has your back, with an ipad cover to give away to the first person to email lbarks@aut.ac.nz with their biggest wrath-inducing pet peeve.

33

Adam Sandler: You used to be cool, man. You did the Waterboy. Happy Gilmore and Big Daddy were both very funny. You even took a serious turn at acting in Punch-drunk Love, and were great!

But you sold out, dude. Big time. Blended? Jack and *&%$ Jill?! You’ve stooped so low that you even made a cameo on the Brooklyn Nine-Nine TV show. Now you just make those crappy movies that make a whole lot of loot.

KGDC rating: At least he’ll put Kevin James’ kids through college.

Matthew McConaughey:

DEM CHECKS

by Connor Leathley “Keep gettin’ dem checks” is a phrase used by former NBA player and current ESPN analyst, Jalen Rose. The phrase is usually used when referring to players who are on a large salary, and are merely content with turning up to receive that cheque, and not so much with putting work into their craft (AKA: living the dream).

This phrase can also be attributed to Hollywood “stars”, whose once promising careers were waylaid when they realised that they could “keep gettin’ dem checks.” It starts when they make a big pay check off that unique trait of theirs (Taken). But then they stop making ‘good’ films, and start making cash (which will eventually result in Taken 40, where the cyborg Liam Neeson hunts down the kid who stole his greatgranddaughter’s juice box).

So, without further ado, the “Keep gettin’ dem checks allstars!” As Drew Carey would say, “The ratings are just like the opinions of people on the Internet. They don’t matter.” And yes, I did just date myself by 10 years.

Coach: Sylvester Stallone The hall of famer and original KGDC all-star. But this all-timer was once one of the most promising stars in Tinseltown.

He starred in the 1976 Best Picture winning film, Rocky. He created one of the best action heroes of the time in Rambo.

He and Arnie were the greatest action stars of their time. But kids these days will only know him as the old guy in those terrible “old guys that old guys go to watch to remind them about the old days” kinds of films.

KGDC rating:

AAAAAAAAAADRIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN

Just hear me out. This is a legacy pick. I am well aware of the “Mcconaissance” that we have experienced recently. He was fantastic as the astronaut in Interstellar (besides the fact that he, weirdly, seemed to hate his son). He was at his philosophical best in the gritty True Detective. And maybe that was the career that people expected of him after he was, probably, the coolest movie character ever in Dazed and Confused. But, if this list had been done at the start of the decade, he would have featured on it. Films such as Fool’s Gold and Failure to Launch (oooops) will do that to someone.

And after he featured in the Lincoln car commercial last year, one must wonder if he has a yearning to return.

KGDC rating: Well for now he is all right, all right, all right.

Samuel L. Jackson: Now, he was one bad-ass dude. We all remember his Biblequoting hitman from Pulp Fiction (Hopefully. Some of you weren’t born when that was released). And he was probably the best thing about the Star Wars prequels (if you believe that they exist). But now we know him as that guy who turns up in every Marvel or Tarentino movie to deposit his check. I’ll see you in Avengers: Age of Ultron, Mr Jackson.

KGDC rating: I’m making so much (youknowhat) money, on these (youknowhat) movies!

Liam Neeson: The quintessential KGDC star today. Starred in one of the best films of all time: Schindler’s List. Featured in some of the biggest franchises of the last 20 years, such as Star Wars, Narnia, and the Batman trilogy. And then came Taken (Cool!)

And then the next one (Wut). And then the next one (No Liam, staahp). With a whole lot of junk chucked in between.

It seems almost every plotline has now come believable for Neeson. On a plane? Sure! No memory? Believable! In the Wild, Wild West? Why not! Even Zeus? Logical! Keep gettin’ dem checks Liam. Keep gettin’ dem checks.

KGDC rating: I have a very particular set of skills. Skills that

have been diminished now by making so many bad movies recently.

GLUTTONY

35

FLEXITARIANISM

MEAT-EATER

by Lydia McLean

by Kieran Bennett So, today I had two breakfasts and I ate a pie for lunch.

Why? Because. I am not some insanely fit individual who had already completed a hill run plus weights session before 7am this holiday morning, I am not pregnant and needing those extra kilojoules, and funny enough... I’m not overweight or ‘unhealthy’ either. I am a flexitarian.

I have eaten meat all my life. I never went through a vegetarian phase, or even a vegan phase. I was always mildly surprised that I didn't, especially considering that I love animals. There was always an assumption on my part that at some point I would hit a point and refuse to eat flesh anymore. But it never happened, because there's nothing wrong with eating meat.

To me, being such a thing means that I aim to eat as much nutritionally dense, natural, whole foods as possible and when I feel like cake (or pies and second breakfast), then that’s exactly what I will eat. The majority of my diet seeks to enrich my body with the vitamins, minerals and nutrients it needs in order to remain in a state of health, fight disease and provide energy for my upbeat, active lifestyle. The remaining 20% is often food that tops up my happy bucket.

A few people I know (who don't eat meat) tell me that going vegetarian is the healthier option. Now, I am in no way decrying the health benefits of vegetables. As much as I would enjoy it heartily, a diet of bacon and lamb legs is not the way to go.

Unless where you want to go is a double bypass. Rationally speaking, meat is simply a more efficient way to get a variety of vitamins and minerals compared to vegetables. I'm not trying to say that a diet that excludes meat can’t provide these things, but you have to be a lot more careful with what you put in your face.

I am a flexitarian who (for the most part) listens to what my body is telling me, what it wants, what it needs and how the actions I take are affecting it (be that positive or negative).

Flexitarians don’t follow diet plans or adhere to strict guidelines, they have a balanced and educated view of different ways to nourish themselves and they eat with an understanding of these concepts mixed in with a touch of I’ll-eat-whatever-the-hell-Iwant. In saying this, there are some foods e.g. coke (it chills me to even class this poison as ‘food’) that I have blacklisted. But again, this all comes under being a flexitarian. I have made this decision because it is the best possible choice for my health, and it takes into account my own personal views and opinions about this product.

As any way of living or eating requires, the basis by which I base my food choices on must be thoroughly researched. With researched information, I believe I can make relatively informed choices on which foods are essential to my well being (you can never have too many fresh, green, leafy veges) and are to be consumed daily, and which foods are providing with me with absolutely no nutritional benefit at all but are enjoyable, so I consume them in far smaller quantities and irregular.

Flexitarian-ism cannot be a reason for having MCD’s everyday for lunch or as a means to justify the regular consumption of cakes and biscuits. Yes, it does allow for the occasional lenience in incorporating these foods into your diet on some days (by ‘some’ I mean rare occasions) but it is not an excuse for poor eating.

So on that note, I am off to order some organic beef bones for the bone broth I am set to make tomorrow, alongside the raw broccoli pesto and the kale chips I have planned for my meals.

I will enjoy those foods and reap the benefits they will bring to my gut health and overall well being, but I didn’t enjoy the pie today any less (I just won’t be enjoying it tomorrow as well).

I'd also like to point a slightly greasy, sauce covered finger at one of the largest reasons I still eat meat. It tastes amazing. While I'm getting all of my essential vitamins and minerals, I'm thoroughly enjoying it. Again, much like nutrition, I'm in no way trying to say that a vegetarian diet would taste awful, I actually like vegetables. But that said, for me there is nothing quite like a rich, moist piece of meat. While flavour doesn't really have any great moral or philosophical ground to stand on, it does feed into why I eat meat. If I were to not eat meat anymore, potentially I would be healthier and lighter (well, maybe), but I can’t imagine I would be incredibly happy about my new meat free existence.

On the subject of happiness, it’s a little inevitable that any debate over eating meat would eventually turn to where meat comes from. Other animals. Yes, it is an unfortunate reality that eating meat does require the death and consumption of another sentient being. I will be the first to admit that I occasionally feel a slight twinge of guilt when I throw myself into a pile of ribs.

And think that is an important point to note, especially in the face of vegetarians who call meat eaters 'murderers' and other hyperbolic terms. If you eat with an awareness of where your food has come from, it can in fact lead to a respect for your food. I couldn't hope to argue about the sentience of animals in the space of this article, but I can, and will, attest that eating meat is not some immoral act, providing it is done with some thought.

When it comes to your dinner, it’s all about choice. I think (and so do others) that meat is better for me and just better in general.

Despite the moral component, I still feel comfortable eating it, and there's nothing wrong with that.

VEGAN

VEGETARIAN

by Mr X

by Emma Wingrove

Unfortunately, a vegan diet and lifestyle is unfairly denigrated as being a contradiction to human nature and the notion of the circle of life. I disagree. I no longer believe the continued consumption of nonhuman flesh to be the solid state of nature, but rather a process of human interaction shaped by the environment. Biology should not and will not equal destiny. I will concede that when the first Homo sapiens appeared, meat eating was the only viable food source, but then again, humans would actively hunt their food with varying degrees of success as the chance of dinning on meat was never guaranteed. Much has changed since then. I would like to think a vegan diet and lifestyle represents the precursor to the pinnacle of human evolution. Veganism should not be seen as a weakness or an alternative lifestyle, but a triumph over human nature.

Veganism is often conflated with rabbit food; carrots, lettuce, broccoli, sprouts and all the other vegetables you avoided as a child, but secretly crave as an adult. There is more to veganism then swapping the hamburger for an apple, but that too would be a wise idea. Veganism does not only require one to simply give up meat, but also any product derived from a nonhuman animal. Milk, eggs, make-up tested on animals, fur coats and leather jackets are all derived from animals. Most would think that such a lifestyle choice is not only impossible, but boring.

After all, wouldn’t giving up milk deprive individuals of their favourite guilty pleasures such as milkshakes, frozen yogurts, and ice cream sundaes? Not exactly, you can still have your dairy fix by choosing products made from soy, almond, coconut and rice milk, and leather jackets made from animal hides can be swapped for cruelty-free synthetic leather.

There are many more reasons to opt for a vegan diet other than tantalising your taste buds as the shift to veganism accomplishes several goals with a single decision. Would you like to have more money to spend? Then go vegan. Having more money in your pocket is always a bonus, especially for a university student.

Just think off all the money you could save by avoiding fast food and buying cheaper alternatives that are meat and dairy free. And I am certain that avoiding fast food would have its personal health benefits; not that I am saying anything negative about your figure (I am sure you are well-proportioned), and a renewed sense of appreciation for the nonhuman animals we share this earth with. The benefits are not solely limited to your immediate self. There are numerous reports correlating the rise in greenhouse gases to that of meat and dairy production. I would go further and say that it is not nonhuman animals who are solely responsible, but it is human demand. So in a way, what is good for you, is also good for the earth.

For many years giving up meat was a battle between my conscience and taste buds. I think I was about seven when I first announced that I was no longer eating meat. This was a reoccurring announcement over the years as I was always talked down by meat-eating friends or family, and the smell of bacon.

For me it was always about the ethics. Convenience, habit, and chicken generally got the better of me, though.

When I finally kicked the meat habit for the last time, it was different. It was stronger. To me, giving up meat was suddenly a no-brainer. My moral compass had kicked in, and no way was it letting me go the wrong way. It was the undeniable and glaringly obvious fact that eating meat just is not a sustainable option. I do think it’s natural for us to eat meat, however I do not believe we are doing so in a natural or sustainable manner.

100, 50, even 30 years ago, the way we produced meat was a very different picture to what it is today. A townships meat supply would be produced almost entirely within that area, and supply did not always meet demand. Meat was seen as something of a luxury. The population has since increased dramatically, and so has the demand for meat. The advances in technology have enabled us to adapt our farming techniques in order to further meet that need/greed through altering the animal’s growth rate (i.e. pumping animals full of hormones). In our haste to provide more, better, and cheaper meat, ethics have been compromised through greed masquerading as need. Neglectful conditions are cheaper to supply and maintain, young animals are ripped from their mothers prematurely, and milk meant for them is, instead, given to us.

Other aspects to consider include the associated deforestation and carbon dioxide production of the meat industry. Plus there is the waste product to think of (urine, faecal matter, parts of the carcass that are not used). All of that aside though, it is pretty gross when you look at it from an anatomical perspective… you’re chewing on the flesh, veins, arteries, and capillaries of a dead animal, then it sits in your colon, breaking down for several hours.

From a self-serving perspective, since getting on the vegetarian bandwagon I feel pretty great. When fast foods are no longer an option, you end up eating better, less junky food and more fruit and veg, so your health inadvertently benefits, even if that wasn’t the objective. My bank balance is benefitting too as veggie, options are always at least one or two dollars cheaper than the meat options. Leftovers last longer in the fridge too. It’s also easier to try random new foods when you know there won’t be any disgusting surprises that your stomach lives to regret. So in my mind, the vegetarian diet ticks all the right boxes.

37

THIS ARTICLE CONTAINS TRACES OF GLUTTON

by Urooza Sarma

I’ve spent the last few months travelling and spending time in different countries, namely India, Sweden and Croatia - so not your conventional triad of countries.

Spending time in these places has exposed me to extremes in… everything. From the blistering heat and sweaty conditions of 38°C in India, to the snow and sub-zero chill of Sweden. From the meat and potato rich diets of Croatian dinners to the 20 different ways the vegetable okra is served in India. Culture, tradition and dress code, or greetings and swear words, these places have enriched me in a way that only travelling can provide.

James Beard, an American food enthusiast from the early 1900’s once said, “Food is our common ground, a universal experience,” and boy, have I come to realize that truth over the last few months. Whilst each country had their own unique identity, food is the universal power that gathers people, locals and tourists alike, in

its delicious and warm (or cold depending on the food) arms. Food not only nourishes the body, but it enriches the soul. Like when you assemble a bite on your fork of a traditional Swedish meatball, doused in creamy sauce, tart cucumbers and deliriously sweet lingonberry jam (these are not euphemisms for anything) – sure, the noisy demons in your stomach can be silenced, but what you remember more is the subsequent skipping of your heart beat as you close your eyes and savor the flavours dancing across your tongue. It’s over food and drinks that I had some of the best conversations and tear-inducing laughter. Food is also a great way to avoid awkward silences. All you have to do is wait for a lull in the conversation to perfectly time taking a massive bite of the food of your choice, maintaining a ‘oh no, you caught me mid bite’ smiley face whilst frantically running conversation topics through your head.

'The sound of cups clinking, tentative blowing on the surface of the cup and savouring each sip with a loud slurp are complemented with laughter, chatter and gossip'

There are roughly 1.2 billion people in India, who consume on average over 2.4 billion cups of tea a day. In India, “char baje, chal chai peete hai’’ or “It’s four o’clock, let’s drink tea” isn’t about quickly dousing a prepackaged tea bag with boiling water from the kettle. Chai time is about spending 2030 minutes extensively boiling a concoction of tea, milk and water with a range of different spices kept highly confidential by the tea-master of the household. The tea master has the ratios of ingredients perfected and the boiling time aligned to that of a German train schedule. As the aroma of cinnamon, spices and Dilmah tea starts filling the room, other members of the tea party file in, picking up their assigned cups, and sitting around a table loaded with biscuits, snacks and fruit. The sound of cups clinking, tentative blowing on the surface of the cup and savouring each sip with a loud slurp are complemented with laughter, chatter and gossip. Chai isn’t just the cup of tea, it’s a moment in time. A time for unwinding from the antics of the day, to share stories and recharge the caffeine battery inside every one of us

Before landing in Croatia, my sister taught me the essentials of the Croatian language: Hello (bok), thank you (hvala), several profanities, which I shouldn’t repeat, and the final and most essential ‘Idemo na kavu’ or ‘Let’s go for coffee’. It becomes quickly apparent as you walk down the narrow streets of Zagreb city, littered with a variety of cafés set to different themes, that this country loves its coffee. But apart from the rich coffee culture of Croatia, I got to try some other really exciting and interesting foods. The Sarma (literally named after me) is a cabbage roll, stuffed with mince and steamed with a tomato sauce, served over a bed of creamy mashed potatoes. Saucy, tasty and hearty, I really did become the poster child for ‘you are what you eat’. Whilst braving some ferocious winds, I found that the best remedy for frost bite is holding a cup of fritule: freshly fried doughnut holes tossed in icing sugar, cinnamon and chocolate sauce (and my tears of happiness). I spent my time in Croatia coming in and out of very serious food comas, indulging in many different kinds of meat, breads and pastries. No regrets, just many food babies.

On my second afternoon in Stockholm, I was asked if I wanted to ‘fika’. The difference in accents, and total foreignness of the word left me astounded, thinking someone just asked me to do something else starting with F. My shock was put to ease, when I realized that fika, is closest translated to the act of ‘having coffee’. A typical Swedish fika consists of seeking refuge from the bitter cold outside in the warmth of a vibrant café, drinking copious amounts of black coffee and eating the traditional chokladbollar, a dense ball of cocoa, vanilla, oats and coconut, or the kanelbullar, which is a cinnamon bun (or the buns of an angel if you eat one as good as the one I first had). Fika, is about taking a break from work, study or in my case, nothing. For the Swedes, fika is as a part of their culture as Nobel prize ceremonies, excellent social welfare system, and plentiful snow.

The food and eating cultures of all these places were distinctive and unique, but the sentiments behind them were not. Meals are the orchestrator to many great feelings and events. The speed at which you drink your coffee changes depending on whether the company is entertaining or makes you want to go home and blast All by myself. The warmth of a hot meal can make you forget frostbite and bone-chilling cold. The crunch of a salad can remind you that you’ve been eating too much fast food for much too long. Food and its various traditions are a way to meet new people, catch up with old friends or show someone you love them ( just ask any Indian mother). And no matter what you look like, or where you go in the world, there is a universal shared look of euphoria when one has spotted their food being carried toward their table.

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ST ICKY CHOC O LAT E PUD D I N G Keen for a sinfully divine treat? Colestown Chocolates Company has the perfect recipe for you.

ALL-IN-ONE CHICKEN CURRY A delicious and simple dessert that is always a hit in the winter months with family and friends.

Serves 6

• 150g self-raising flour • 25g cocoa powder • 200g caster sugar • 50g ground almonds • 75g dark chocolate • 180g full cream milk • 1 tsp vanilla extract • 40g butter, melted • 1 egg – free range

For the sauce:

• 180g Muscovado Sugar • 120g Cocoa Powder (sifted) • 500ml Very Hot Water

Method:

Place the dry ingredients in a large mixing bowl. Whisk together the milk, vanilla, melted butter and egg. Pour over the dry ingredients and mix thoroughly Pour the mixture into a large buttered soufflé dish. Mix the Muscovado sugar and cocoa powder together and sprinkle over the batter, and pour the hot water on top.

Place in a pre-heated oven 180 degree C, and cook for 35-40 minutes.

Serve at once with softly whipped cream.

If you want to check out more of Colestown Chocolates Company's scrumptious treats, visit their store in 277 Broadway Newmarket.

REVIEWS

The two detectives are assigned to a grim case, even by Somerset’s seen-it-all-before standards. A clinical killer is taking out victims guilty of the Bible’s seven sins, turning the sins against the sinner (i.e. for gluttony, force feeding an obese man to death). It ain’t pretty, but unlike gore-porn films like Saw, it never focuses on the murders, only the crime scenes. That, however, is still enough to induce some pretty severe nightmares.

For me, the heart of any whodunit is the motive. Too many thrillers fall into the same trap; great storyline, killer suspense, and then whammy, it’s all for nothing when a frankly ridiculous motive is revealed. Not so with Se7en. It will have you by the genitalia down to its final act, with a motive so convincing and plausible, I found myself reflecting on it for days.

SE7EN Film directed by David Fincher (1995) Starring Brad Pitt, Morgan Freeman, Gwyneth Paltrow Reviewed by Matthew Cattin

Before David Fincher struck gold with the cult classic Fight Club, he made one of the best crime thrillers of the last twenty years, Se7en. Grim as the reaper and dark as night, it’s a film you won’t forget in a hurry, mostly because this shit will haunt your alone times when the lights go out.

Starring a fresh-faced Pitt and honey-voiced Freeman as newly paired detectives, the unlikely duo endures a strained relationship, Pitt as the cocky, fresh to the area Mills and Freeman as the one-case-away-from-retirement Somerset, world-worn and pessimistic. Gwyneth Paltrow supports as Mills’ wife, uncertain of her recent move to the grimy city where it rains every day and sirens ring out in the night.

DANTES Restaurant | 136 Ponsonby Road, Auckland Reviewed by Daniel

It’s a little known fact that the eighth deadly sin is pizza. More specifically; the act of not eating pizza. So in order to end a tumultuous first week back at uni on a pure and holy note, I decided to seek out the best pizza that Auckland had to offer. Metro Magazine told me this would be at Dante’s Pizzeria in Ponsonby Central, and Metro Magazine was right.

The casting simply could not be better. The now legendary pairing of Pitt and Freeman provides a gripping chemistry, alongside stellar support by Paltrow and the ever-brilliant Kevin Spacey in one of his best roles – which is truly saying something for the man is a genius.

Scrubs fans, keep an eye out for Dr Cox too.

Due to excellent scriptwriting, the film would have been good in the hands of any competent director, but I can’t think of more competent hands than those of Fincher. Perhaps best known for Fight Club, and more recently Gone Girl and The Social Network, Fincher is renowned for his typically dark style. The colour grading, weather, and lighting deprive the senses and contribute to create an incredibly bleak and hopeless atmosphere. I imagine upon seeing it at the cinemas, audiences would have emerged having entirely forgotten about the sun’s existence. Even Morgan Freeman’s velvet voice will not warm your heart after the experience.

If you’re easily disturbed, this film probably isn’t for you. But if you like your crime thrillers grim and heavy, Se7en is essential.

Not much more than a hole in the wall, Dante’s throws at you all that is good and Italian in this world: a wood fired pizza oven, the smell of baking dough, and broad smiles from warm and inviting staff. Communal bench seating under the glow of outdoor heaters encourage pizza as a shared experience; a yarn with a stranger is almost guaranteed. Jamie’s La Bella Italia was a fresh and robust serving of tomato, rocket, black pepper, mozzarella cheese and extra virgin olive oil, and my Con Prosciutto threw ham, rocket, tomato and parmesan cheese together on a beautiful doughy base.

The most reassuring thing about Dante’s is the visual arrangement and identifiable ingredients; where pizza takeouts cheese-glue everything together into one entity, Dante’s let the base become an edible plate for the carefully selected ingredients. Gone are the furrowed brows and proclamations of “I swear mushrooms aren’t supposed to be this crunchy” when consuming questionable Domino’s.

The prices are upfront – most of the popular flavours sit at $24 and can be rounded off with a small glass of Peroni for $6. Dante’s don’t hold back on serving sizes, and one pizza could definitely go between two. Perfect for a romantic date, or even just a bonding experience over the shared love of pizza, Dante’s will not disappoint.

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Devils on wings, they take advantage of your body the moment you expose it, like a creeper at a club.

Lust.

Queenstown is a lusty buxom lass. The adventure capital of New Zealand, the range of activities offer climax after climax, and I want it all. I find myself ogling unashamedly at the paragliders, the bungees, the jet boats, the rafting, everything… Without a pocketful of gold however, it’s only possible to choose a couple of one night stands here and there to keep me satisfied.

Wrath.

Five minutes out of Queenstown, on the road to Glenorchy, there is a cliff jumping spot known as Little Thailand. With a 13 metre plunge into the icy lake, the only thing that can bring you down is the mo’ fuckin’ sand flies. Devils on wings, they take advantage of your body the moment you expose it, like a creeper at a club.

Splash. Slap. Slap. “Fuck OFF!” Slap. The only safe place to escape their wrath is the water below – it sure wasn’t bravery that spurred me to leap.

Gluttony.

by Matthew Cattin

Even before arriving in Queenstown, I was hearing rumours on the southerly wind of the Ferg Burger joint and its mighty meats, buns and sauces. I can now personally vouch for their quality, but I must say, it was the Ferg Bakery next door which really stole my heart - particularly their pork belly and apple pies, and Boston cream donuts. Best of all though, both joints are open til five in the morning, so every night out on the town can end with an alcoholabsorbing delicacy.

Sloth.

Greed.

7 SINFUL HIDDEN GEMS

Nestled under the mountains on the Copland pass, near the west coast’s famous glaciers, lies Welcome Flat Hut. After an 18 kilometre, mostly uphill slog through bush and rivers, you will find (right next to the overnight hut) breathtaking hot pools, steaming in the cold mountain air. It’s hard to believe, sitting there in the mountains under the southern skies, that these natural wonders aren’t man-made, but rather a delightful (and incredibly relaxing) gift from nature that will turn even the hardiest of hikers into a muddy sloth.

Envy.

Of all the places I’ve set foot in NZ, it is Wanaka that fills me with the most envy. A small wee town perched on edge of the lake, it’s the type of place you plan to stay a night, and end up staying a whole week. What I wouldn’t give to buy a small piece of land on its shores, and live out my days smoking a pipe in front of the fire…

Deep in Aspiring National Park lives Rob Roy glacier, and a three hour return hike from the car park brings you right to its feet. In the valley, surrounded by impossibly peaked mountains, plummeting waterfalls and steep cliffs, the hours disappear one by one. Like a young lad at a sweet store with a pocketful of change, I couldn’t get enough of the view, the peace, the magic – I was a greedy guzzler and I’m not even ashamed.

Pride.

Being a tourist in my own country has been a beautiful experience, and so often I find myself brimming with pride for my dear Shire, my New Zealand. There really is nothing else like it on earth.

We have it all here; snow capped mountains, lush forests, mirror lakes… And best of all, it’s so easy to get away from the tourist traps and see it all on your own – just you and nature. Yep, pretty bloody proud to be a Kiwi.

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CONFESSIONS

by Ali Thair

SHANE Which of the Seven Sins do you think best describes you?

Pride

JOSH Which of the Seven Sins do you think best describes you?

Lust

FLETCHER Which of the Seven Sins do you think best describes you?

Pride

What’s the naughtiest thing you ever did as a child?

Showed “Little Johnny” to a group of girls when I was 7.

What’s the naughtiest thing you ever did as a child?

I wagged most of school.

What’s the naughtiest thing you ever did as a child?

I pocketed lunch money from my parents.

Describe your biggest haircut “sin.” How old were you when you sported it?

Dad did me a mushroom haircut.

Describe your biggest haircut “sin.” How old were you when you sported it?

Got a baldy at 12 and got mocked in my year 8 class.

Describe your biggest haircut “sin.” How old were you when you sported it?

Bowl cut in primary, and I was mocked in class as a result.

JACK Which of the Seven Sins do you think best describes you?

Sloth

SEAN Which of the Seven Sins do you think best describes you?

Greed

TAYLOR Which of the Seven Sins do you think best describes you?

Sloth

What’s the naughtiest thing you ever did as a child?

I threw three eggs at a mate’s car.

What’s the naughtiest thing you ever did as a child?

I pissed on a teacher’s car in high school.

What’s the naughtiest thing you ever did as a child?

I got drunk and rode a motorbike in my backyard.

Describe your biggest haircut “sin.” How old were you when you sported it?

Emo haircut two years ago – it was really time consuming to maintain!

Describe your biggest haircut “sin.” How old were you when you sported it?

Bowl cut back in school – I definitely regret it.

Describe your biggest haircut “sin.” How old were you when you sported it?

I got a “helmet haircut” last year. My head was hot and sweaty all the time!i

DANIEL Which of the Seven Sins do you think best describes you?

Sloth

MANI Which of the Seven Sins do you think best describes you?

Pride

SCARLET T Which of the Seven Sins do you think best describes you?

Sloth

What’s the naughtiest thing you ever did as a child?

Drinking underage in school because it made us feel cool and badass.

What’s the naughtiest thing you ever did as a child?

I taxi gapped and then hid inside a church.

What’s the naughtiest thing you ever did as a child?

I stole some of my parents’ weed when I was 16.

Describe your biggest haircut “sin.” How old were you when you sported it?

An Afro in high school – the “pen inside the hair” ones. Straight from my father’s side.

Describe your biggest haircut “sin.” How old were you when you sported it?

Platinum blonde – I felt terrible.

Describe your biggest haircut “sin.” How old were you when you sported it?

Mushroom Bob when I was 8 – it was my passport photo so I’m stuck with it!

JESSIE Which of the Seven Sins do you think best describes you?

Wrath

JERRY Which of the Seven Sins do you think best describes you?

Pride

SHAE Which of the Seven Sins do you think best describes you?

Wrath

What’s the naughtiest thing you ever did as a child?

I stepped a girl out at RnV. She pushed me and then…

What’s the naughtiest thing you ever did as a child?

I threw eggs at my teachers in school.

What’s the naughtiest thing you ever did as a child?

I burnt my cousin’s finger when we were little

Describe your biggest haircut “sin.” How old were you when you sported it?

I got blue tac in my hair at 12 so I had to cut it in a weird way which lead to a ridiculous fringe.

Describe your biggest haircut “sin.” How old were you when you sported it?

An accidental baldy!

Describe your biggest haircut “sin.” How old were you when you sported it?

Slut strands in year 8 45

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