DEBATE | Issue 17 | 2015

debate ISSUE 17 | AUGUST 2015

CREDITS EDITOR Laurien Barks laurien.barks@aut.ac.nz SUB-EDITORS Matthew Cattin Amelia Petrovich Julie Cleaver DESIGNERS Ramina Rai Logan Gubb CONTRIBUTORS Julie Cleaver, Joni Nelson, Amelia Petrovich, Conor Leathley, Maddy McLean, Shawn Cleaver, Emma Wingrove, Matthew Cattin, Yuri Reid, Rachel Barker, Ethan Sills, Tyler Hinde

CONTENTS

ADVERTISING Harriet Smythe hsmythe@aut.ac.nz

Pg 3 Editor’s Letter

Pg 26 A Day in the Life of an Unemployed

Pg 5 Vice Prez Sez

Graduate

Pg 6 Hungry and Alive on Great Barrier Island

Contributions can be sent to

lbarks@aut.ac.nz

Pg 28 Your Friendly Neighbourhood

Pg 8 Cool Shit

Psychopath

Pg 10 Ruby Rose PRINTER Debate is lovingly printed by Soar Print

Pg 30 How to have a Really Expensive

Pg 12 Getting off the Beatin’ Track

Debate is a member of

the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA)

This publication is entitled to the full protection given by the Copyright Act 1994 (“the Act”) to the holders of the copyright, being AUCKLAND STUDENT MOVEMENT AT AUCKLAND UNIVERSITY OF TECHNOLOGY INCORPORATED (“AuSM”).

Reproduction, storage or display of any part of this publication by any process, electronic or otherwise (except for the educational purposes specified in the Act) without express permission is a break of the copyright of the publisher and will be prosecuted accordingly. Inquiries seeking permission to reproduce should be addressed to AuSM.

Pg 32 Girl Crime

Pg 16 #edrecovery

Pg 33 Why You Should Watch

Pg 18 A Streetcar Named Marlon Brando

Pg 34 Reviews

Pg 20 Sparklag Waters

Pg 36 InterNZ Profile

Pg 21 Everybody is Insecure

Pg 37 Recipe

Pg 22 Relationships are Trade Offs

Pg 38 Puzzles

DIRECTORY

CITY CAMPUS

SOUTH CAMPUS

Level 2, WC Building

MB107

ph: 921 9805

ph: 921 9999 ext 6672

Mon-Thurs: 9am - 5pm

Mon-Thurs: 9am - 3:30

AUSM.ORG.NZ

NORTH SHORE CAMPUS (Temporary Location) AE112; Office D ph: 921 9949

Holiday

Pg 14 6 Books You Need to Read

Fri: 9am - 4pm

DISCLAIMER Material contained in this publication does not necessarily represent the views or opinions of AuSM, its advertisers, contributors, Soar Print or its subsidiaries.

GOVERNANCE & LEADERSHIP April Pokino april.pokino@aut.ac.nz

MANAGEMENT Tuhi Leef tuhi.leef@aut.ac.nz

VOLUNTEERS Romulus Swanney rswanney@aut.ac.nz

STUDENT MEDIA MANAGER Victoria Griffin vgriffin@aut.ac.nz

CLUBS Josh Tupene jtupene@aut.ac.nz

ADVOCACY Siobhan Daly siobhan.daly@aut.ac.nz

10:30am - 1:30pm

FACEBOOK.COM/AUSMDEBATE

EVENTS Carl Ewen carl.ewen@aut.ac.nz

But don’t let me discourage you from making Saskatchewan your next holiday destination, you can have a pretty decent time if you have a few local tips to guide you: 1) Plan your vacation during the Saskatchewan summer (July 5th – July 7th). If you’re lucky it’ll fall on a weekend, but let’s be real, you’re planning a trip to Saskatchewan…life hasn’t been kind to you thus far. With your luck, that’ll fall on a Tuesday – Thursday, you’ll spend four hours sitting in a car on each of those days because you’ll get stuck behind some hick on a quad bike illegally cruising the motorway as you make your commute into town (doesn’t matter what town, it’ll happen with all of them).

E D I TO R ' S

L E T T E R

Hi All, I love the sense of pride that near everyone feels about where they came from. It’s a kind of pride that’s simultaneously unique to each home, but identical and relatable at the same time because so many of us feel it. I feel immensely proud to be a Canadian, I’m growing to feel equally proud to (one day) be a New Zealander, and the fact that my ‘growing up’ years were split between the two countries means that I get to declare both as a major part of who I am. And that makes me one lucky lady.

However, when we get down to the nitty gritty specifics of where I was born, where I actually came from, ‘proud’ isn’t the best adjective around. Every country’s got a hairy, weird-smelling, slightly moist armpit. I was born smack dab in the middle of Canada’s. Saskatchewan: “Land of Living Skies.” That’s what the license plates say. They leave out the rest of the sentence: “because the land itself is pretty close to death.” I think it has a nice ring to it, but the guys in charge of province mottos obviously don’t agree with me.

Of course I’m being intentionally harsh, and a tad sarcastic.

Saskatchewan is very sweet. It tries. It’s the kid that shows up to track and field, and walks away with an arm full of participation ribbons, a sprained ankle, and a weird rash. It puts in the effort, so you can’t hate it. You just don’t want it getting too close to you.

It’s hard to shine when you’re surrounded by the glorious first place ribboners that are the Rockies, Maritimes, and unapologetically apologetic citizens of your greater land mass. Saskatchewan never really had a fighting chance to begin with. It drew the short straw, poor dear, and has had to live with its bad luck ever since.

2) If, for some reason, you have to visit in the winter (July 8th – July 3rd…July 4th is the one day of the year it rains), be prepared to be unable to leave your house/hotel.

It’ll be -50C (-58C with wind chill), and your skin will literally freeze if you’re outside for more than a minute or two. Instead, put your feet up, relax indoors and read the newspaper. Headlines will include ‘Hypothermic Couple Found on Side of the Road after Car Broke Down, Both Apologized to Paramedics upon Arrival’ and ‘Only 214 Deer Hit by Cars This Week – The Lowest Count since the 1970s.’

3) Take in the major nature attractions, like bird watching (note: Saskatchewanians call mosquitos birds due to their size), and climbing up the man-made hill (make sure you set aside at least seven minutes of your day for this). Or, if the city life is more your style, check out Saskatoon, the city with Canada’s second highest crime rate. If second best isn’t for you, head down the road a couple hours and check out Regina: highest crime rate of Canada for nine years running, and a name that shares a rhyme with female genitalia. You’re welcome.

So as proud as I am to come from one of the most majestic countries on earth, there are parts of that country I was perfectly okay to say goodbye, and good riddance to.

The people are ones that I’ll always feel thankful for and hold on to, the memories of my childhood are ones that I’ll always cherish, but the freezing temperatures, prehistoric mosquitos, dry skin, frostbitten toes, brown grass, and muddy ponds were a breakup waiting to happen. We accept the love we think we deserve, and while I’m no saint, I reckon I deserve a love that’s warmer, brighter, and a tad less itchy.

Have a good week everyone!

Laurien 3

PREZ SEZ

have the rest of my life to learn. I come from a very beautiful island called Aitutaki, which I have not yet been to. I am very lucky that I get to visit Rarotonga this year (well, New Year’s) for the very first time with my best friend!

I have just learned a new struggle this semester and my heart truly goes out to all the students that have had to go through it. 8am classes. Yes, I said it, 8am! A big part of me feels like it should be illegal, it’s very harsh. My body goes into some sort of shock I think. I know what you are thinking, I am very lucky to be in my fourth year at uni and only now have an 8am class. To all the students in my class, I am very sorry I look like shit and don’t stop yawning. I promise I will work on it.

VICE

PREZ

SEZ

Kia orana AuSMers, Welcome to week three of the second semester, you must all be feeling the pressure a bit more now as assessments are starting to be due. This week is Cook Islands Language Week, and the theme for Cook Islands Language Week this year is – “To tatou reo tupuna e korona ia no to tatou matakeinanga” which means “Our language is a crowning glory of our community.” Celebrating Pacific languages is an important part of keeping language alive and thriving. Make sure you try and learn a word or two! Get involved with the different things the university will organize.

Cook Island is another part of my culture from my mother’s side as that is where her father was from. I wish I had learned more than just how to do the hula from this side of my culture, but I guess I

Last week I was very honoured to have the opportunity to sit on the stage for all five graduations. They were simply beautiful, and I don’t think they will ever get old to me! Congratulations to all the students that got to walk across that stage and receive a very expensive piece of paper that you earned! You all looked fabulous!

Do you want to stand out from the crowd? This is the perfect way!

Nominations for the AuSM@AUT Student Representative Council Elections are open from 27th July 2015 (9am) until 14th August 2015 (4.30pm).

Feel free to contact me on urshula.ansell@aut.ac.nz if you have any questions, need help with anything or just want to chat.

“In order to be irreplaceable one must always be different.” Coco Chanel

My role is to represent the postgraduate community at AUT and try to make it as vibrant and connected as possible. I work closely with other representatives on AuSM to ensure that everyone’s needs are met and the voices of the postgraduate students are heard, and to take on all sorts of issues we may face.

SRC

SEZ

Kia ora!

My name is Papatuanuku, and I am your post graduate officer for semester two, 2015. I am pursuing a Master of Arts in Māori Development in the faculty of Te Ara Poutama. This is my first year and with all honesty, it has been a challenging year! However, with the help and support from my family and friends, it has pushed me to continue my postgrad journey.

I hail from the beautiful island of Rarotonga, Matavera, but I have been raised in the land of my Māori ancestors. The only thing that is important to me is my family. I strive to make them proud in everything I do. The knowledge and skills I learn at AUT, I want to be able to take it back to my people here in New Zealand and in Rarotonga.

Cook Island Language Week is here! This special week provides an opportunity to celebrate and learn Cook Island language, helping to secure its future as a living, dynamic and rich language. Keep your eyes out around campus, there may be some food stalls or events that allow you to get involved! I encourage you all to get amongst it and enjoy Te Reo e te au Peu Kuki Airani – Cook Island Language Week!

Also, every Wednesday 12pm-2pm there two dollar lunches in the Wharekai. I welcome you to come and join us! Lunch includes a filled roll, fruit and hot and cold beverages! Nau mai haere mai!

We love seeing new faces.

Ko te manu e kai ana i te miro nona te ngahere – ko te manu e kai ana i te matauranga nona te ao.

The one who partakes of the flora and fauna, that will be their domain. The one who engages in education, opportunities are boundless.

Keep warm, study hard and please feel free to contact me if you have any issues or concerns, email postgraduateaffairsofficer@ aut.ac.nz or ask for me at the Te Ara Poutama WB Building, Level Three.

5

Hung ry and Alive o n G reat Bar ri er Island

by Julie Cleaver | Illustration by Tyler Hinde One of the big diseases affecting city dwellers is ‘comfortability’.

It’s a condition where you have everything you need to survive, yet for some unknown reason, you’re morbidly depressed. I was unaware I had this common illness, until I was stuck on an island; hungry, uncomfortable and happier than Pharrell Williams has ever been.

If you leave Auckland and head northeast on a boat for five hours, you’ll hit Great Barrier Island. “The Barrier”, as the 500 local residents call it, is like nowhere I have ever been before. It’s a completely natural and unpolluted mecca in the middle of the South Pacific.

When I visited The Barrier, I was a part of a group more diverse than the cast of Michael Jackson’s ‘Black or White’. After a long journey, we got off the vomit-encrusted boat and hiked over to our accommodation.

The house was small and dusty. It had Indian fabric draped across the walls and Thai elephant trinkets on every available hard surface. The house had no power or clean tap water, and the sleeping arrangement was about as private as Facebook; with twenty people piled into one big room. However, it was cozy, near the beach, and good enough for us.

Our days mainly consisted of hitchhiking to the other side of the island for a surf. This was normally a long process, as the roads were less crowded than the female toilets in an engineering firm. Plus with a group our size, it was nearly impossible to get anywhere. Some people got so over waiting that they instead decided to opt for a threehour cycle. The rusty old bikes at the house were as held together as a meter high game of Jenga, but the surf was worth all the hassle.

At night we had some insane parties, which attracted all sorts of local Barrier nutters. One night someone heard our raving, tracked us down, and stormed into our house. He had long blond curly hair, ripped khaki pants and a crazed look in his eye.

The sight of this feral looking hermit terrified us, but when he opened his mouth, he sounded like Queen Elizabeth herself. Hone, pronounced Hon-eh, was definitely the most kindhearted and gentle MaoriEnglish bushman I have ever met and probably the only one I ever will meet.

We franti cally darted around the fire i n a visio n-blur ri ng buzz; like mosquitos near a li ght bulb. We rolled i n the sand, dived out of trees and screamed to the stars.

After two weeks on the island, things really started to change. I’m not sure if it was from hunger, exhaustion or island fever, but we all went mad.

We started to appreciate the strangest things with undeserved intensity. For example, we mixed sponge cake with milk powder and boiling water and I kid you not, if Gordon Ramsey himself had walked in at that moment, we would have told him to go suck a fat one. We didn’t have much, but we made the absolute most of what we did have.

Unfortunately our positivity only got us so far, and we started to run out of food. Feeling desperate, we decided to borrow a little dinghy left on the beach and send our self-proclaimed four best fishermen out to sea. After five hours they returned to shore with nothing but embarrassment. By this point we were all getting extremely

hungry and began contemplating which one of them to eat first… but that scheme fell through, so we had to devise another plan.

Our next idea was to send people on a hike to an isolated beach, which was apparently infested with mussels. Hours later, the group came back with a big bag full of victory.

I’ve never been a fan of seafood, but there’s something unbelievably satisfying about eating when you’re starving and I’ll never forget how it felt to devour that slimy goop.

That night we built a fire on the beach and drunk ourselves into a tribal frenzy. Even though we had hardly any food, somehow we still had an immense amount of alcohol, like a 2012 ‘world is ending’ kind of supply. So we slurped mussels, drunk spirits and went absolutely mental. We chanted like Maori warriors yelling “Maui ooh-ha-ha!” in unison. We frantically darted around the fire in a vision-blurring buzz; like mosquitos near a light bulb. We rolled in the sand, dived out of trees and screamed to the stars. The elation of surviving another day, sense of community, and absolute wild, irrational bliss I felt in that moment has etched a scar into my heart, and island fever is now intrinsically a part of who I am.

In cities our life long pursuit to escape discomfort has actually made existence boring. In general I think urban dwellers experience hardly any thrills and a low level of connectivity to others. I long to go back; back to a time before consumerism and capitalism made survival unsatisfying, back to when a tribe had your back and helped raise your children, and back to The Barrier, where my untamed soul fell in love.

7

COOL SHIT

HIGH TIME FOR THAI TIME

W

!

N I

The key to creating outstanding Thai Food can be summed up in one word: balance. Whether it’s a creamy green curry, steaming soup neua or zingy som tam, all Thai dishes strive for that perfect balance of hot, sweet, sour, and salty flavours, each one punch without overpowering the others. Lonely Planet’s From the Source: Thailand is a recipe book like no other; the dishes shared signify history and heritage. Family recipes, created in the same way for generation, or a regional tradition, evolving with the twists and turns of geography and social history.

These books retail at $34.99, but Debate has a copy to giveaway to the first person to Facebook message us with their name, campus, and favourite Thai dish.

MY GOODNESS Think of Goodness as your Natural Beauty Lap, turning the cool stuff from Mother Nature into damn fine skincare. Goodness Every Evening Cream has taken all the goodness of honeysuckle extract, avocado and coconut oils, as well as the perfect amount of Goodness Certified Organic Chia Seed Oil to produce the perfect high five for your skin.

Your skin will thank you for the hydration and you’ll wake up to plumped looking skin with a great glow of healthiness every day. Retailing at $23.99 for 60ml, Goodness Every Evening Cream can be found at selected Farmers and New World stores nationwide.

SHIMMER ME TIMBERS Inspired by the native New Zealand Pohutukawa trees’ rich red flowers, Karen Murrell Lipstick – Red Shimmer is a timeless pink-red lipstick that slips onto lips like satin and sets like velvet! It includes a combination of lip-conditioning ingredients with a high natural pigment to ensure that lips are left with intense colour, while remaining long wearing, and preventing featuring. This lipstick retails at $29.95 and can be found at selected pharmacies and health food stores nationwide.

InterNZ Where will your degree take you in 2016? Doors to internships are open for final year students through AUT interNZ. Be matched with New Zealand employers, apply for a scholarship to intern at a top US company, be what employers are looking for. The interNZ website offers an easy way for New Zealand companies to source AUT talent and gives AUT students a jump on the competition by putting their profiles directly in front of employers looking for a skills match. Final year students, whether you’re interested in domestic internships or our international scholarship opportunities – employers are looking beyond your grades.

InterNZ is providing support to help demonstrate the skills they’re looking for. For more information, check out internz. aut.ac.nz.

9

Q u ee n of I nt e rn et H eart s Joni Nelson | Illustration by Logan Gubb

When many saw writer/producer/performer, Ruby Rose in her debut short film Break Free, they commended a ‘brave’ model on surpassing the gender expectations of society. A year later and Ruby Rose has plummeted herself into the spotlight again as Netflix’s Orange Is the New Black’s token eye candy. As the video resurfaces along with confused sexuality tweets, we take a look at what queer representations are shown in our mainstream media and how these depictions may do more harm than good.

Break Free watches Ruby Rose transition from feminine to masculine. Rose shaves her head, takes a sexy bucket shower to show off her tattoos, and binds with ace bandages. Here lies our first issue. Using ace bandages to bind yourself is seriously dangerous. Why? Ace bandages are designed to stop swelling and bleeding by continuously tightening on the affected area. As a result, when binding with them, they contract when your rib cage tries to expand, instead of expanding with it. This can result in numerous health issues, including fractured ribs and punctured lungs.

Facts that many in the trans community are working hard to make known. Unfortunately, pulling stretchy material over your head, or doing up twenty clasps just isn’t as fashion forward or visually dramatic as winding lung crushing gauze around your chest, so education gets put aside for effect.

However, it’s not just the ways in which Rose’s on screen personae changes that make Break Free problematic.

For a film that’s supposed to break down the boundaries of gender, it relies heavily on binary gender stereotypes that reinforce cisnormative* ideas of masculine and feminine. The start features ‘classic’ feminity, with heavy make-up, high heels and a body con dress, but it’s how it ends that’s even more disturbing. Ruby Rose’s transmasculine character stares down the camera aggressively, swearing and pulling the finger before lighting a cigarette. Because, of course that’s what masculinity is. We are still struggling to find three dimensional representations of trans identities that stray away from society’s gender binaries, not every trans person is hyper masculine or hyper feminine, as not all cis people are.

In the past month, thanks to her recent rise as heterogirl heartthrob, the video has remerged again and I’m struggling to stay positive about what the distribution of this content means. We’ve all seen the buzzfeed lists of girls stating their sexual confusion over Ruby Rose’s Beiber-esque good looks. And much of this is good. Sexuality is fluid, and the more people who can recognise attraction for those outside society’s gender binaries the better. However, a girl I knew from high school was one of these sharers, and I couldn’t resist placing a warning about the problems with the video (equip with a friendly smiley) in the comments.

She instantly deleted it. The deletion of my comment reminded me that despite queer and trans content being shared favourably, it didn’t actually make room for the conversations that need to happen.

The confused sexuality crushes didn’t mean that they wanted, or were at all willing to learn about the LGBTQI+ community’s struggles beyond celebrity photoshoots.

It is difficult to watch people accept and praise only the most privileged and visible members of our community.

I see so many rainbow filters on Facebook, but not any actual action when it comes to the most vulnerable of the LGBTQI+ community. If you cheer for Ruby Rose, then cheer for Jennicet Gutiérrez, the transwoman of colour who interrupted Obama to bring attention to the plight of transgender individuals in detention centres.

Cheer for the ones fighting for others’ lives and their own. Picking the most privileged and visible among us to cheer for doesn’t make you edgy, it just further divides our queer community into those who have their rights, and those who are still fighting for them. *cisnormative:[the assumption that a normal person’s gender identity is the same as their sex assigned at birth]

Check it out: http://www.tranzgear.com/ provides cheap, and free binders to people who can’t afford them.

11

G E T T I N G O F F T H E B E AT E N PAT H

There truly are some amazing places in this world – countries such as Egypt, Greece and Canada are seriously cool and feature on many must-see travel lists. But what about the destinations that offer just as much ‘wow factor’ but are lesser known?

To help inspire the adventurer within, the globe-trotting team at Student Flights have compiled a list of their favourite ‘off the beaten path’ destinations, featuring some of the world’s most beautiful and far-flung wonders that are bound to excite and enthuse.

BURMA Until recently, only the most intrepid travellers ventured into Burma (also known as Myanmar), but with visitor restrictions lifted in recent years, the country is slowly making its way into the spotlight.

Now there are several tours taking in the highlights of this littleknown country. Travellers can visit secluded villages relatively untouched by globalisation, stay in local guesthouses and experience a country where there is still a strong sense of the old Orient, a place where Buddhism is still a way of life.

INSIDER TIP: With tourism taking off in the last few years, flights and accommodation fill up fast so it’s important to book in advance.

Though it is not unheard of to show up and find a room, it is very difficult and potentially stressful.

And yes, this is the land of Dracula, or at least, the origin and inspiration for Bram Stoker's novel can be traced back here.

INSIDER TIP: Make sure to make your way to Maramure, regarded as Romania’s most traditional region. Complete with wooden churches and homes fronted by ornately carved gates, it’s said 20 percent of the population still believe in witchcraft.

"A rising star with budgetconscious travellers looking to try somewhere new in Southeast Asia, Sri Lanka offers visitors a real variety of experiences."

BHUTAN Isolated from most of the world until the early 1960s, Bhutan truly is a destination for those travellers looking to really get off the beaten path. Touring can only be done with a prearranged guide who will accompany you on your journey, and for a set fee.

ROMANIA Bordering Hungary, the Ukraine, and the Black Sea, Romania sometimes gets a bit of a bad rap.

But for those keen for an adventure and eager to get off the beaten track, it’s an awesome country, home to some of Europe's most well-preserved Medieval towns.

INSIDER TIP: When visiting Bhutan, most people fly in and out of Paro.

If you have the time though, try flying into Paro and making your way across the country and out through Sondrup Jonkar onto the Assam plains. This will give you the opportunity to see the eastern side of Bhutan, a place rarely visited by Westerners.

SRI LANKA With eight Unesco World Heritage sights, Sri Lanka is overflowing with culture, and while it’s still untouched and mostly free of crowds, now is the time to get there.

A rising star with budget-conscious travellers looking to try somewhere new in Southeast Asia, Sri Lanka offers visitors a real variety of experiences. Keen surfers can experience some of the best waves in the world, while nature lovers can spot elephants and leopards in one of the islands' fourteen national parks.

INSIDER TIP: It might not be the first thing that comes to mind, but the beaches are dazzling. Make sure you set aside a day or two to unwind.

ICELAND Jam packed with natural wonders and geological phenomena, this tiny isolated island anchored just south of the Arctic Circle doesn’t often make it onto the standard list of ‘must visit countries’ in Europe, but for nature lovers it is a definite must.

INSIDER TIP: Make sure to check out Silfra Rift.

Located in the Þingvallavatn Lake in Iceland, Silfra is a rift that is part of the divergent tectonic boundary between the North American and Eurasian plates, granting divers the unique opportunity to literally swim down between two continents. The underwater visibility in the Silfra fissure is over 100 meters which creates an underwater experience that will rarely, if ever, be surpassed, and as such it is often voted as one of the top dive sites in the world.

For more information on great holiday destinations, contact the team at Student Flights on 0800 255 995 or visit www.studentflights.co.nz 13

6 BOOKS YOU NEED TO READ Rachel Barker

Image by Luis Llerena Now, as much as I like to uphold my ‘art hoe’ aesthetic (or as much as I think I do), I must be honest, I am not a reader. I really struggle to get into a good book - my excuse to my mother being “well, it probably wasn’t a good book then.” Ah, the naivety of the foolish first time reader. People often speak of the wonder and joy of losing themselves in a novel, but not since my Harry Potter days have I found myself consecutively experiencing such a thing. However, I know that reading is important- to learn, to grow, to look smug amongst academics - so I have collated a list of six (because only choosing five would be oh so cliché) books that I feel everyone must read.

Here I present to you ‘Rachel’s book list for the pretentious and dissatisfied reader’. I’m still working on the title…

1.

Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov

Ahhh Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins. If that sentence alone isn’t enough to intrigue, I don’t know what is. You know the deal- classic tale of an older man infatuated with what he describes as nymphets, specifically sweet little Lolita the tempestuous twelve year old. Written by Vladmir Nabokov in his fifties, this must read can certainly feel a little uncomfortable at times, and touch a nerve. But I suppose that’s why it’s so special. The beautifully woven and descriptive narrative perfectly captures the essence of taboo, and reading it feels like squinting through sunlight at something just out of reach. The haze of summer, and the forbidden. Plus, getting through Lolita may mean you actually understand the next Lana Del Rey song you listen to!

4.

I’m sure you all know the show, but leafing through George R R Martins epic is worth more than just pretending you actually watch it and understanding all the incest jokes that people in your class are making.

And bonus, now if you do watch it, you might actually understand what the fuck is going on... I was delightfully shocked when I picked this up for the first time by how well written it was and how intricately Martin had illustrated his world. This one’ll keep in you in the pop culture set as well as make you feel like you’re actually reading something of worth (or if you’re Snoop Dog, reading actual history). You will feel nerdy in all the right ways.

5.

2.

Not that kind of girl by Lena Dunham

Enjoyment of this odd little autobiographical and comedic guide to life depends greatly on your feelings toward its author, Lena Dunham. Any fan of Girls is sure to delight in the similarly brash and semi-controversial snippets of its creator’s life. The book doesn’t take itself too seriously and yet you still seem to walk away with a life lesson or two under your arm. And unlike other books in a similar vein, I really did laugh a lot when I read this. Just like, so funny and relatable, like, omg *shrugging girl emoji*.

3.

Game of Thrones by George R. R. Martins

The Great Gatsby by F Scott Fitzgerald

For twenty years of my life I ignored this book, and how foolish have I been to do so. Amongst the screenings of the film in 2013, I squirmed in my seat as I tried to navigate myself through conversations about the decadence of F. Scott Fitzgerald’s work, and the successful/unsuccessful translation of book to film. All the while, I could’ve just read the bloody thing. There is a reason this novel about the beautifully vacuous Daisy and mysterious J. Gatsby is considered a classic worldwide, and again it will aid your conversations with the literary minded and make you look so ten times smarter than you are when you gush about how much you love it. So go on, ol’ sport, pick it up and figure out what all the fuss is about.

Classy by Derek Blasberg

When I was thirteen, my darling mother gifted me with the imponderable pleasure of Derek Blasberg’s Classy. As the metrosexual man himself describes it, Classy delivers ‘exceptional advice for the extremely modern lady’. And although this sounds like something your powdery-lipped aunt would post you for the anniversary of your christening, this book has become one of my absolute favourite reads ever, and has truly taught me a lot about myself and others and how to navigate this strange wide world. Chapters include ‘How to quit smoking for shallow people’, ‘Do you dress like a tramp’, and a wonderful lesson in how to end conversations with people you hate. Seriously though, as well as being hilarious this book offers timeless advice, and genuine sentiment underneath all of that satirical Upper East Side banter. Amazon wish list this one immediately, ladies!

6.

Book of Longing by Leonard Cohen

This one’s a lil personal for me, as my grandad bought it and gave it to my mum, who then gave it to me.

If you adore poetry, then this is the book for you.

We all already know the lyrical genius of it’s author, Leonard Cohen, who penned the song Hallelujah, made famous by Jeff Buckley, and Cohen doesn’t fail to deliver more of that familiar existential anxiety and romantic hopelessness. Book of Longing is a collection of life-changing little snippets of his works. Honest, and solicitous, Cohen’s words always leave me floating through the day, awash with thought.

Well, that’s it. Cool, cool, cool, Rach. Thanks for the tip top advice. And please, I urge you, even if you don’t enjoy reading, even if you cannot bring yourself to open Gone Girl, or test a single passage of the Bible, give these books a try. I promise you, it’ll be worth it.

#EDRECOVERY

Amelia Petrovich The #edrecovery community is not one that I had ever envisioned being actively interested in. Until fairly recently, it wasn’t even a community that I had heard of. If you didn’t run an Instagram or Tumblr account, I’d forgive you for knowing next to nothing about it either… but now that I’ve told you about it, you should probably tune on in.

When I say ‘#edrecovery’ what I’m talking about is the growing number of people (often young women, but not always) involved in online communities to do with eating and health. I’m not talking clickbait-esque weight loss blogs or pedantic fitness trackers though. The #edrecovery community features people actively engaging with their own eating disorder demons and collectively learning to nurture themselves back to health.

I stumbled upon this bunch of bloggers simply because the pictures of food that they post are super tantalizing to look at. Now, after sifting a little more, I’m starting to realize that this is only a very tiny part of what the #edrecovery community does.

Eating disorder recovery blogs are, for the most part, an attempt at creating an active support network and gentle reminder that nourishing your body is more important than fixating on its size and shape.

Eating disorder recovery blogs are, for the most part, an attempt at creating an active support network and gentle reminder that nourishing your body is more important than fixating on its size and shape. I wound up reading a Buzzfeed article (please don’t judge me, think of it more as me soldiering through lame content to research widely so you don’t have to) entitled ‘Teenage Girls Are Using Instagram To Fix Their Relationships With Food’ which I ended up loving and hating in almost equal amounts.

The article quoted recovery blogger ‘Casey’ (Instagram account: Whole and Healthy) saying that “many [of the blogs] try to promote having a positive relationship with food… seeing beautiful meals and snacks acts as a sort of support system and daily reminder for people to continue nourishing their bodies with wholesome foods.” This inclusion I feel was really vital, expressing really well exactly why the #edrecovery community is a thriving and often positive one.

But, because Buzzfeed is Buzzfeed, there was also some polarizing commentary that I was so not down with. I’d started to think of this particular internet community as somewhat heroic in their relentless pursuit of happiness, but my Buzzfeed source didn’t entirely agree. The article mentioned bloggers nicknaming fruit (“strawbs” and “nanas” among the abbreviations), claiming that recovery bloggers did this to “show how unafraid they are of the all-natural sugar”. The whole thing was a bit mocking and I felt instantly protective.

It seems that no matter how much society progresses, what young women put in their mouths will always be scrutinized and anything that this demographic is passionate about is instantly ridiculed.

If you haven’t had the complete misfortune of stumbling upon Instagram sensation ‘youdidnoteatthat’, give it a bit of a look to see what I mean. The account features pictures from around the world of physically fit or slender women posing with food, accompanying captions poking fun at the notion that anyone with this kind of body type would ever gain pleasure from getting stuck into a burger or ice cream.

It’s okay for young bodybuilders to relentlessly clog newsfeeds with pictures of protein powder and rippling muscles, but teenage girls gushing over ‘strawb-nana smoothie bowls’ are sneered at? Kind of not ideal.

Whether we as a society should be praising or discouraging the #edrecovery trend however seems to be a topic for debate in itself. Canadian PhD student, Andrea LaMarr, spoke to CBC News and admitted that she has “mixed feelings” about the movement. LaMarr says that, whilst there is value in support from others across the globe in similar situations, those who own recovery blogs/accounts run the risk of focusing too much on just food intake. According to LaMarr, for the trend to be wholly beneficial #edrecovery should also focus on cultivating enthusiasm for a happy lifestyle and balanced priorities.

Clinical programs coordinator at the Multi-Service Eating Disorder Association in Massechusetts, Rachel Benson-Monroe, also highlights #edrecovery communities’ capacity for harm. Benson-Munroe chatted to online news website The Atlantic saying that “anyone who is spending an inordinate amount of time talking or posting about their food intakethat’s going to be a little bit of a red flag.” From my admittedly removed position as an Insta-Tumblr observer, this sentiment seems to make sense. If disorders and tough times are different for all of us, it follows that recovery is also an individualized process, and perhaps the #edrecovery community isn’t productive for everybody.

Alison Kremer, also interviewed by The Atlantic, is one recovery blogger who found the community to be a little more hindering than helpful at times. Kremer describes her own need for a temporary Instagram hiatus as her account was “inhibiting her progress” with her disorder, saying that the break allowed her the time and space to develop a better mindset and healthier priorities.

Obviously nothing should substitute for professional medical care and I’m absolutely no doctor, but it seems that the #edrecovery community mostly comes from a genuine collective interest in an improved quality of life. Blogging and posting, like most things, appears to be the most effective when done with care and moderation. I hadn’t heard about this particular online community until very recently, but I certainly will be watching its progress from now on.

17

A ST R E ETCAR NAM E D MAR LON BRAN DO

Conor Leathley Auckland’s annual International Film Festival always shows a multitude of films that you would rarely see in every day cinemas. This year, with a range of Oscar nominated films (Inherent Vice), to real life documentaries (Amy, a film about critically acclaimed musical artist Amy Winehouse, who’s life ended in 2011, aged 27), there was a wide variety that attracted film fanatics from all over the country. The festival also featured a documentary called Listen to Me Marlon, which combined photographs, audio recordings and film footage to tell a story about Marlon Brando, an actor who many consider to be the greatest ever at his craft. The two-time Oscar winner was placed at number four in the American Film Institute rankings of the top 25 Male Legends. He featured in almost 40 films over his illustrious career, though it is not the quantity that makes him such a legendary figure; it was the quality that he brought to the screen in only a few roles.

Brando received his first Oscar nomination for his performance as Stanley Kowalski in the film adaption of the Tennessee Williams’ play, A Streetcar Named Desire.

It was only his second feature film role, and it was not necessarily his acting that made the role memorable.

More so, this was the film with which the world first got

to witness his transcendent sex appeal (seriously, Google ‘Marlon Brando gif’. You’re welcome). If nothing else, Brando could have made a successful career purely of his pervasive sexiness. Though he may have been somewhat matched aesthetically by men such as Harrison Ford and Brad Pitt, almost no one (besides probably Humphrey Bogart and Daniel Day-Lewis) has ever brought the same gravitas to the screen.

If nothing else, Brando could have made a successful career purely of his pervasive sexiness.

This was never more evident than it was in the 1954 Best Picture Winner, On the Waterfront. In his first Oscar-winning role, Brando portrays Terry Malloy, a once promising boxer who had a chance at a prize fight only to get mixed up in mob politics, and is plying his trade as a dockworker by the beginning of the film. If Streetcar displayed his sex appeal, then On the Waterfront displayed his preternatural acting ability.

Unwittingly a murder accomplice at the start of the film, he grapples with the consequences of his actions, while at the same time falling for the sister of the man who he assisted in killing. He is pulled both ways, by the mob to be D and D (deaf and dumb) and by the local minister, urging him to testify against the local mob leader, as that is the only way to stop the violence. It is this overwrought conscious that compels Malloy to utter one of the greatest lines in film history to brother Charley; “You don’t understand! I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody. Instead of a bum, which is what I am.” It was his brother, Charley, who ultimately let him down, as he informed Terry to throw the fight at the behest of the mob. Unaware to the evil of the world, Terry believed that his brother had his best interests at heart, with the iconic line being an articulation of the loss of innocence that we all must go through as we age.

It was after this performance that Brando’s star somewhat faded. After receiving four nominations (and one win) in his first five years of film acting, Brando would then only receive one nomination over the next 17 years following On the Waterfront, for his performance in the 1957 drama romance, Sayonara.

However, it was in the eighteenth year that he received his second Oscar, for his performance as the titular character in the 1972 Best Picture Winning film, The Godfather. The ultimate patriarch, Vito Corleone (his character’s name) has since become a bastion of pop culture references, from his iconic lines (“I’m gonna make him an offer he can’t refuse”) to him wearing a mouthpiece to simulate the look of puffed up cheeks.

Though many may debate which Oscar winning role really is his best, one thing that they can surely agree on is the contrast between them. For one, Terry Malloy was let down by his family, as his brother Charley did not look out for his younger brother. On the other hand, Vito Corleone believes that family should be a man’s founding principle, that it should be the rock upon which a man’s life is built.

Malloy earns the audience’s compassion, as he struggles though the conflict of right vs wrong. Corleone, on the other hand, generates a latent fear that is felt by the audience, leaving people to wake up wondering if they will receive a headless horse in their bed. It is the contrast between these two characters that cemented Brando’s place on the Hollywood mountaintop.

19

S PA R K L A G WA T E R S Maddy McLean The journey started with two of my countless forms of procrastination - the first was nightwalking, the second was Morse code. It was on this particular wander to Queen’s Wharf, watching the dusk subside into nocturnal frivolity when I noticed the pattern of spots and slashes carved into the buttercupcoloured bench sides. My usual obfuscation of teaching myself Morse code triggered a mental twist at the dots and dashes, setting my thoughts aside from their usual stray dreamings.

Instead of lounging across an irregularly shaped seat that evening, I sprawled cross-legged on the old tram rail beside one, and read the dots and dashes as if they were indeed in Morse code. Although each pattern did construct letters, when put together the entirety of the message didn’t make sense: “Sparklag waters, sparklag waters, sparklag waters”. The words on repeat made me wonder if this were a riddle of its own accord, left there for passers by to solve. Honestly though, it just seemed so random that while I was excited by this idea of a puzzle hunt through Auckland, I doubted that anyone had bothered to engineer it. My mind spun out on tangents – was it a place, an anagram, an art project, a joke?

So I did what any curious person does: I googled… wait I mean I studiously and formally researched, the term “Sparklag Waters” and something interesting came up: Queen’s Wharf is situated in Waitemata Harbour, which translates into – you’re way ahead of me - “sparkling waters.”

My hope of it being an Auckland mystery Easter egg was dashed to bits as the dots connected. It was merely an executive typo which hadn’t been checked, and was now cast in steel and painted sunrise yellow.

As it turns out, I’m not the first to notice this, or even write a small piece on this Auckland awkward Morse muddle – an online article on auckland-west.co.nz found exactly the same thing I had, only back in 2012. Hats off to them, but the base line is it’s just another quirk for Auckland to add to the treasury, as well as a small joke for anyone who reads Morse code to smile at as they pass by. I can almost hear my KEC tutor from here, calling for a collective New Year’s resolution: to understand the importance of proof reading, of double-triple-quadruple-checking your work. Here’s the evidence.

EVERYBODY IS INSECURE

Shawn Cleaver 1 am. House party. Polite. Until now.

“I heard you were talking shit about me!” was his opener. Not the best pick-up line I’ve heard, but I was still flattered. Flattered enough to give him my total honest opinion back: “Why would I talk shit about you, you’re twice my size.”

I wasn’t lying either. It would have been like Klitschko vs Ryan Seacrest: not exactly fair pound for pound.

“It’s not a fucking size contest!” He barked back. It was then that I realized I’m a lot closer to getting a hiding then I had been for a long time.

I pay my bills as a radio announcer, so I talk for a living. Never before had that sentence been so literal. I had one option: blab, and then hope. So I convinced him he’s got it all wrong and that we were all mates, and that it was all a misunderstanding. I can’t even tell you what words I chose, all I know is that amongst the babble, something worked.

"Aww man now I feel like a dick!” he said remorsefully. I don’t hesitate, I pounce.

“Nah nah nah maaaate it’s all good don’t worry, it happens, all good, sweet as, tu meke, water under the bridge, all good!” (I’m sure I used at least some of those words.)

I can’t even tell you what words I chose, all I know is that amongst the babble, something worked.

Making progress, the conversation turns down a weird path. One I didn’t think would just happen the way it did. Big-Bulky-Maori-Tattoo-Man leans in and gets something off his chest: “I have a sweating problem-“ and before he could finish, I noticed he did have a jumper draped around his neck like a cape, to hide his sweat marks.

As a chronic sweater myself, I quickly pointed out to him how I also perspire like I was just thrown off a boat.

And then, mates. Hand-shakes, name exchanges and the sweet, sweaty taste of relief. But I’d never seen a more concrete example of insecurity as a motivator to bring others down before.

You wouldn’t think ol’ Dywane Johnson over there would be so worried about his sweat that he would need to bash someone just to feel huge again.

Just because we leave the school yard doesn’t mean that bringing others down because of our own issues has become any less fashionable. There really is no reason to do it otherwise.

We attack when we feel we lack. If you dig deep enough, everyone has something about themselves that they are uncomfortable with, and that seriously bothers them. I’m yet to meet someone who doesn’t.

I am insecure about my teeth.

(Probably why I chose radio, not TV.) John Key is so insecure about getting young votes, he thinks extracting ponytails is his only option. Even Kanye is insecure. Just google “Kim K Ray J” and you’ll find out why.

21

August

sustainability month

City Campus Shared Lunch Tuesday 4th Clothes Swap Thursday 13th Bike to Breakfast Tuesday 21st

North Campus

South Campus

Shared Lunch Wednesday 5th

Shared Lunch Thursday 6th

Clothes Swap Tuesday 11th

Clothes Swap Wednesday 12th

Bike to Breakfast Wednesday 19th

Bike to Breakfast Thursday 20th

For more info head to

facebook.com/ ausmsustainabilityclub

23

R E L AT I O N S H I P S ARE TRADE OFFS Julie Cleaver | Illustration by Tyler Hinde Falling in love is one of the greatest things a human can experience.

Imagine going to Canada, tripping over a stone and plummeting down the Niagara Falls: that’s what it feels like to fall in love. It fills your body with adrenaline and although it is quite terrifying, it’s unbelievably amazing if you relax and let the waterfall sweep you away. On a chemical level, your brain becomes a cocktail of serotonin, dopamine and oxytocin; all the cuddly, feel good hormones.

Romance is in the air and the joy of being in a relationship with that person feels like the adult equivalent to running towards your presents on Christmas morning. Gone are the days of spooning your giant teddy to sleep and writing #foreveralone statuses, you are finally part of a pair! If you have fallen in love, you are lucky, and if you haven’t, you are also lucky, because one day you will. I’ve been blessed enough to experience this once, and it was great, everything I hoped it would be. But what the movies, books, poems, songs, and everyone I know didn’t tell me, is that once you are in a relationship, it’s not some great blessing: it’s a trade off.

Okay first of all, I’m not complaining.

I’m just keeping it real. When I was single I could logically comprehend that relationships required sacrifices, but I had no idea what that actually meant. I thought that not hooking up with strangers at parties would be the biggest loss, and that was fine by me. But now I realise that relationships require a lot more sacrifices than just that. First of all, there’s time. All of a sudden every waking hour of your life belongs

to you and another person. Then there’s the sacrifice of your freedom, plans for the future and parts of your identity. You stop seeing your friends as much because of all the time your partner and their friends take up. And you stop going out and meeting new people all the time, because sexual energy is the main driving force behind socializing.

I wish someone had told me when I was single that relationships aren’t like falling in love.

Of course there are many positive aspects of relationships too. If you are in a good one, you gain an awesome best friend to hang out with all the time and do cute things with. You have companionship, funny personal jokes, and a special connection with one other person that is really quite beautiful. Plus, no matter how unattractive you feel, someone out there still thinks you look fly.

In my opinion, the best analogy for being in a relationship is owning a car. Cars are great. When you get one, you no longer have to take the bus, they are extremely convenient, and you can start to rely on it daily.

But cars also require maintenance.

You need to take it to the mechanic for regular tune-ups. You have to pay for warrants, registration, parking, and gas. One day your engine might not start. Or you may even crash your car severely and spend thousands fixing it, or worse; declare it as a write off. It may seem like with a car you have all these problems you never had before.

Like cars, relationships are not some magical gift, they are trade offs.

You give up stuff to gain something else, but that’s not to say they’re not worth it.

I wish someone had told me when I was single that relationships aren’t like falling in love. Falling in love is falling in love, and relationships are the hard and hopefully fulfilling part that comes after. So if you are seeing heaps of cute display pictures of couples holding hands on a beach in Thailand, don’t worry. It’s not all sunshine and roses; it’s also a lot of sharing, giving, and sacrifice.

In a sense, everything in life is a trade off. If you choose to travel, you will miss your friends and family. If you choose to stay put, you will long to go abroad and see the world. We all get a bit of FOMO sometimes, but remember that every good thing in life comes at a cost. All we can really do is pick one option and try our best to make the most of it, through all its various hills, spills and, thrills.

25

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF

A MOSTLY

UNEMPLOYED GRADUATE Matthew Cattin | Illustration by Logan Gubb

"Has anybody noticed my adorable LinkedIn profile picture yet?"

11:12. What’s on Seek… The purpose of this role is to ensure the execution of quality internal & external communications initiatives which reflect… Next. You will be proficient in spread sheets, using your rock star enthusiasm to… Come on!

The last few weeks of my life have been a bit shit – I won’t beat around the bush. I came home from an excellent trip around North America to a frigid winter, slim job prospects, and an unreal amount of time on my hands. Having spent the last few months living each day to the maximum, I feel like everything has stopped. The days are so short, but by god do they feel long. I’ve stopped shaving, I sleep in past nine most every day, and I’ve developed an unhealthy addiction to Netflix. With a part time job earning me enough to keep afloat, I’ve not yet become desperate, so most of my days go a little like this…

11:16. Realising it’s well past morning tea time, I get up to put the jug on and stick around to watch it boil. “Any baking, mum?” I ask, ever so sweetly.

8:37. My eyes open momentarily. I fumble around for my phone to check the time. It’s before nine. What the fudge…

I’m not ready yet… Wrapped up in a bed hug so loving I’m on the brink of tears, I turn my back on the world, and slip back to sleep.

12:05. Ohh! Past twelve. Must be lunch time. And hot damn, is that homemade winter soup I smell? Kumara and lentil?

Whaka me…

9:12. I wake up. I feel ready now. I reach under my bed and pull out my laptop. Netflix is still open from the night before.

Time for some Friday Night Lights. Clear eyes. Full hearts.

Can’t lose. The Dillon Panthers beat the odds and win their game with seconds to go. Inspired, I get up and walk ten steps to the shower.

10:07. Hot damn showers are wonderful…

10:13. Oh myyyy… Is this wizardry? This waterfall of ecstasy?

Why do I ever leave this wonderful place…

10:15. I suppose I should crack open some soap at some stage… That is afterall why I am here.

10:18. Oh yeah... The soap.

10:19. Reluctantly, I turn the shower off. This morning has been a difficult one. First the decision to get out of bed…

And now this. What a nightmare.

10:24. Dress not for the job you have, they say, but the job you want. Track pants, slippers and a sweater it is then.

Looking like a bloody champ, I walk upstairs for breakfast and coffee.

10:25. I wonder who’s free today, I ponder over my Weet-Bix Bites. Oh, that’s right. Nobody. How did everybody get so damn employable…

11:14. Has anybody noticed my adorable LinkedIn profile picture yet? How would I even tell… Why are there no selfies on here? Why do my friends look so much more professional than I do… Ugh. This is not helping.

11:20. Sitting on the couch in the sun, I work my way slowly through my second coffee and a piece of caramel slice.

The sun streams in the window and it could almost be summer. Do I even want a job? This is… This is lovely.

12:04. What’s on 1-Day? 6-Pack Men’s Socks… No. iPhone and Apple Accessories… Nope. 1KG Gummy Bears. FUCK I’m broke.

12:17. I wonder how Coach is getting on with that lawsuit…

Has Matt made up with Julie? I think the best way to find out will probably be to ah…. To get back on Netflix…

15:32. Where did the day go? Am I employed yet? I check Gmail for the fourteenth time today to no avail.

15:35. Realising I haven’t left the house all day, and feeling inspired by a particularly rallying episode of FNL, I lace up my running shoes and head to the beach.

15:50. Nobody would judge me if I just walked right?

Excellent. This running business and I do not get on well.

More practice required.

16:13. Home, sweet home… Why did I ever leave? The cat is curled up on my bed for the first time in weeks, so I treat him to some unwanted affection for a few minutes before he tires of me and runs off. Bastard. Go ahead and leave…

16:16. I jump back into the shower so nobody sees my tears.

It’s been a hard day. I slip into a daydream.

18:35. I have no idea where the last few hours went… I have vague memories of Netflix, Facebook and checking Gmail... But honestly it’s a blur.

18:37. Dinner is ready and I can’t believe it’s not bed time yet. What am I supposed to do for the next four hours.

19:00+ Netflix.

10:32. It must be time for some more Friday Night Lights…

Hello Netflix. Long time no see.

27

Yo u r Fr i e n d l y N e i g h b o u r h o o d Ps y c h o p a t h

Yuri Read The word psycho is one that gets flung around a lot day to day. It’s possible that even you’ve been on the receiving end of this. Whether it’s from your ex, your friend, your mum hurling these accusations - hell, the word might just be synonymous with your name.

If that’s the case, then you should really reconsider your life. Now, if after much reconsideration, you still see nothing wrong with yourself, then congratulations!

You are a part of the elite 1 percent of the general population. Except this 1 percent isn’t exclusive to the rich and powerful, but to a herd of relentless psychopathic predators.

Our history has been scattered with the reign of infamy caused by psychopaths. This rollcall encompasses serial murders to the likes of Ted Bundy, cult leaders such as Charles Manson, even dictators like Joseph Stalin. However, with a reported 25 percent of male prison inmates consisting of psychopaths, the justice system is doing a swift job at clamping down on those predators. So sleep in peace, for you can be sure that you won’t have any run ins with these psychos. Sort of. For on the flip-side of criminal psychopathy, is an underbelly delving into the core of our political system and major corporate structure.

Now when I say the word psycho, what’s the first thing that come to your head? Maybe you hear the imminent shrieking of the violin followed by a brutal stabbing in the shower? Or maybe you consider that guy talking to himself on the street to be a psycho. Heck, maybe you’ve run into one following a bad break-up, where you come home to a laundry of clothes ripped to shreds, and obscenities lovingly engraved into your car with a key. Don’t worry, I’m sure it happens to the best of us.

In psychologist Kevin Button’s book The Wisdom of Psychopaths: What Saints, Spies, and Serial Killers Can Teach Us About Success, Button compiles a definitive top-10 list of professions which contains the most and fewest psychopaths.

The truth, however, is far more terrifying than any spousal home invasion. For a psychopath is narcissistic and impulsive, showing no remorse for their acts of manipulation for personal gains. Psychopaths above all seek power, and shrouds these intentions in a superficial curtain of charm. They might be referred to as sociopaths or antisocials, but in the end, it all means just the same. They’ll lull you in, they’ll trap you all in one seamless motion, one blink, and it’s too late.

+PSYCHOPATHY

-PSYCHOPATHY

1. CEO

1. Care Aide

2. Lawyer

2. Nurse

3. Media (TV/Radio)

3. Therapist

4. Sales Person

4. Craft Person

5. Journalist

5. Beautician/Stylist

6. Surgeon

6. Charity Worker

7. Police Officer

7. Teacher

8. Clergy Person

8. Creative Artist

9. Chef

9. Doctor

10. Civil Servant

10. Accountant

When comparing the common traits of a psychopath to their respective occupations, it’s easy to see the correlation. The list of professions devoid of psychopaths consists of roles that deal with human connection and demand strong emotional empathy, in which psychos would writhe under. Whereas the list of psychopathic occupations are positions of power, requiring people to make detached and executive decisions. This begs the question though, Chefs?

Really? Can we really trust a knife wielding maniac with our food?

If there’s anything you should have got out of this article by now, it’s that you should be scared. Very scared.

Because if the list above is true, you have people akin to dictators and serial killers cooking your food, operating on your body, and even trying to uphold the law. Is nothing sacred? Should we just fear everybody and trust nobody? Am I a psychopath? Are you a psychopath? Is everybody a psychopath? Well take off that tinfoil hat, because Psychologist Robert Hare, professed father in the research of all things psycho, has come up with a 20 point checklist ever-so-eloquently named, The Hare PSYCHOPATHY Checklist-Revised (PCL-R). This checklist is the standard in spotting a psychopath out in their natural domesticated habitat.

1. Glibness/superficial charm 2. Grandiose sense of self-worth 3. Need for stimulation/proneness to boredom 4. Pathological lying 5. Cunning/manipulative 6. Lack of remorse or guilt 7. Shallow affect [i.e. superficial experience and expression of emotions] 8. Callous/lack of empathy 9. Parasitic lifestyle 10. Poor behavioural controls 11. Promiscuous sexual behaviour 12. Early behaviour problems 13. Lack of realistic long-term goals 14. Impulsivity 15. Irresponsibility 16. Failure to accept responsibility for own actions 17. Many short term marital relationships 18. Juvenile delinquency 19. Revocation of conditional release 20. Criminal versatility

research of patient history, interviews with close friends and family, and extensive analysis of patient speech and behaviour. In fact, people trust in the PCL-R so much, it’s what separates people from freedom, even if their life of crime is a long forgotten memory.

This was the case for Robert Dixon, whose life leading up to his arrest in 1985 was riddled with utter hardship.

He attempted suicide at 10, and at 12, threatened to kill himself and his father, who, according to records, often beat him. As a teen, he was convicted of raping a woman. Since then, he has been in and out of detention. Robert was what you would call a class A example of a youth delinquent. So it was no surprise that Robert eventually wound up facing 15 years to life imprisonment with a possibility of parole, for acting as an accessory to murder during a mugging. But that was 30 years ago. Now Robert, his family, and his friends wholeheartedly believe he has changed, even his father, the very man Robert threatened to murder, claims: “I've seen him change in the last 10 years, drastic change in him, especially with me. He got older and he kind of slowed down, and I got older and I slowed down. Age change [sic] everybody.”

However, under the ever penetrating eyes of the law and the PCL-R, Robert is a psychopath. An extreme one at that. Scoring 75 percent higher than all the other inmates, suggesting he has fabricated his entire transformation. He continues and will continue to deceive everybody until the day he dies. For that he has been denied parole after multiple hearings, and with near certainty, will live out the rest of his life entrapped in the concrete confines of maximum security.

Now I turn this article to you. All the psychopaths out there who found that this article spoke more about them than a biography. Be a good psychopath. Now I know this may sound oxymoronic, but use your powers of charm and influence for the better. You are the 1 percent. You have the ability to change society for the better. You can be a surgeon, police officer, even a politician. Hell, Winston Churchill was reportedly an extreme psychopath. But really, there’s absolutely no use trying to appeal to my psychopathic audience.

Because even if you have the teeniest tiniest bit of anxiety building up inside you, then congratulations, I’ve got some big news for you. You’re not a psychopath.

But that doesn’t mean that everybody else isn’t. Your flat mate, neighbour, friends - all potential psychopaths.

So with your newfound knowledge, go forth, into a world of fear and paranoia.

Skimming through the list, I’m sure you could pick out several traits that apply to you and the ones you love.

So maybe there really is something wrong with you?

Well before you go rogue, Patrick Jane, hold up.

Because the actual PCL-R test consists of extensive 29

H O W T O H AV E A R E A L LY E X P E N S I V E H O L I DAY Amelia Petrovich | Image by Keri Lee Smith During semester when everyone is chained to their respective desks in their respective dingy rooms, talk of travel and adventure is rampant. I challenge you to find a strung-out student not in dire need of a holiday when they’re submerged past their eyeballs in cover sheets and essay drafts. People look at you there, hunched over your work with eye-bags down to your knees and they go “holy hell, you should book a flight as soon as humanly possible.”

They’re not wrong, but they are misguided.

You see, not everyone is good at holidays; therefore maybe holidays aren’t always good for everyone.

Some people swan around for a few weeks, dipping occasionally into a well-budgeted pool of hard-earned money and come home feeling like a canny travel wizard, boasting enough extra cash to buy several weeks’ worth of groceries.

Then there are the others, people like me who can turn a single week away into the most expensive mistake of their entire uni year. At first glance, it’s easy to write this style of travel off as a whole lot less than ideal (nobody wants to leak cash, it’s not cool). However, for the sake of my own fragile self-esteem I need to tell myself that there is art in having the most unintentionally expensive holidays ever, and it’s an art that not everybody can perfect.

your hard-earned savings bucks, good job loser.

2) GET EXCITED AND START EATING OUT. In the movies when people travel they spend a lot of time at restaurants sampling exotic, fancy food. This is a luxury you can’t afford, so you should definitely try and do it as much as you can. Buying meals three times a day instead of opting for self-cooked hostel pasta will drain your funds in roughly 48 hours, but does that really matter when you’re having steaming artesian ramen for breakfast? Um, kind of, but let’s move on.

3) TRY TO GET BY ON AN INTERNATIONAL ROAMING DATA PLAN Stupid idea. Just… so stupid. But hey, 2degrees sounded convincing when they promised you “the cheapest data roaming in New Zealand” so you rolled with it. Annihilate your measly 500mb of data on the first night scrolling through Facebook and then grab a new SIM card the next day like you should have done from the get go. 30 dollars down the toilet, but at least now you’ve got a decent data allowance for the rest of the trip. Not that you really deserve it, ya blimmin’ fool.

4) PAY WITH CARD AND NOT CASH Just because your EFTPOS card works overseas, this doesn’t mean you should forgo using physical change to buy all your silly exotic novelty items. Foreign payment machines charge foreign cards crap-loads of money for every transaction… at least most of them do I think… well mine did… or maybe I just spend too much money in general… anyway, caution is advised.

The following instructions are based on real-life occurrences brought on my by real-life shitty planning, which means they really work. Read closely, and good luck.

5) PAYPHONES In an emergency when you’re stranded at a train station in God knows where with a dead iPhone, these sound like an incredible idea. It will only be later once the state of panic has subsided that you realize you’ve paid $2.50 to scream “I’M HERE BUT I’M LOST, WHERE ARE YOU???” in under 30 seconds flat. That’s maybe enough money for fries later on and you wasted it on a stressed-out phone call- it’s a modern day tragedy.

1) BOOK A HOSTEL, FORGET YOU NEVER PAID FOR IT. This step is really essential if you want to get your intrepid trip off to a financially precarious start. There are a lot of hostels that charge you a small booking fee online and will then wait until you actually arrive to get you to pay the whole amount… to perfect step one, you’ll need to forget this entirely. Upon arriving at the hostel they will remind you that you still have to pay the $136 you owe for four nights in a warm bed, and you will have no cash on hand to sort this out with. You’ll be forced to spend

6) THOSE DINKY LITTLE FRUIT CUP THINGS FOR BREAKFAST AT THE AIRPORT Yes you look healthy and virtuous, but those things basically all consist of three hunks of honeydew melon and like one grape. You will end up starving an hour later onboard the plane and you will be forced to fork out for overpriced Jetstar junk food. You’ll stare down at your depressing pot noodles and shed a tear as you wonder how your Insta-fabulous getaway became this moneyzapping dose of travel realness.

31

GIRL CRIME Rachel Barker Let it be said simply, and forget the flurry of some wonderfully worded introduction- for anyone out there who still feels the need to point out other girls’ weight, sexuality, or criticise their clothing choices, how much they drink or how many people they sleep with, just remember this ladies: other girls are not your competition.

This is probably one of THE BIGGEST things my first year of uni taught me. A combination of being around new people with different ideals, out of high school, and discovering more about what it really means to be a feminist brought me to the realisation that there is no need to feel like you are competing with other girls. I used to feel like this a lot, and to deal with this I found small ways to judge and tear people down for ridiculous things because I was the alpha-female and I had to be superior. As much as I thought I was a ‘good person’ as a sixteen year old, we are surrounded by such a crazy amount of internalized negativity, to the point where we don’t even realise we are a part of it.

But then, after years of deeming it necessary to feel in some way superior to every girl I met, I figured, girls get enough hatred and judgment from the world as it is, and I didn't want to be a part of bringing down my own girls (and this extends to all people! Just stop being so negative all the time, it’s not cool or fun or funny, it’s just boring). The more I encountered negative people who constantly bitched and moaned and mocked others, the more I realised how gross it sounded, and in fact was, when I did it.

Since having my eyes opened to this new way of living I have felt be critical. To analyse your own behaviors that might be hurtful or arrogant, but it’s worth the effort to make a change. And I am certainly not saying that I’m exempt from still letting this competitive spirit and negativity infiltrate my thoughts and actions, but once you become conscious of this, it’s so much easier to stop yourself. Stick together chicks, because loving girls is the best thing you can do for yourself and for them. And in a world without competition, everyone wins.

image: galaxies and hurricanes flickr

happier; purer even. It’s a funny thing to have to look at yourself and

WHY YOU SHOULD WATCH L AST WEEK TONIGHT WITH JOHN OLIVER

Ethan Sills American late night television has been through a massive upheaval lately. Long-time heavyweights, David Letterman and Conan O’Brien, have both left the stage, Stephen Colbert left The Colbert Report to replace Letterman, and the quirkier Craig Ferguson stepped aside after a briefer run. By the time this is published, John Stewart would have taken his last bow on The Daily Show and will be replaced come September.

But late night TV is not only changing in face, but in style.

Last Week Tonight with John Oliver is a sign of an entirely different brand of TV, doing away with the chat show elements and instead using comedy and a large budget to educate the world. You’ll either love it or hate it, but I think most of you will lean towards the former.

The What and The Who: Combining the two this time, since there is really only man to this. British comedian John Oliver hosts this weekly show, which follows a formula of briefly discussing three topics from the news of that week before examining one main issue in depth. These have included transgender issues, women’s rights, abuses of power by sports teams, and the fashion industry.

Unlike most late night shows, guests are a rarity. Mostly Oliver will recruit guests for small cameo purposes – such as getting Martin Sheen to narrate an apocalypse video, or having Helen Mirren read lines from the CIA Torture Report. Instead, you have to rely on Oliver for laughs and attention – if you don’t like him, you will find it hard to watch, but the topics he covers are very interesting if you get past the jokes.

The Why: Well, firstly, it is very funny. Humour may not be for everyone, but it is like your typical late night show, just a lot smarter than most of them and with less reliance on celebrity anecdotes to be funny. John Oliver is a charismatic host who can deliver even the lamest joke with enthusiasm.

Secondly, not to sound like some massive nerd, but you actually learn a lot from this show. Admittedly, some viewpoints will probably come across as a tad too leftleaning for the more conservative out there, but Oliver is very capable of making passionate speeches about serious, important issues, while at the same time managing to be very funny. I didn’t know about half the things he has talked about before watching, so I turn off my TV informed as well as entertained.

You don’t even have to subscribe to SoHo/HBO/download it illegally to watch it: you can watch it online, for free!

Well, most of it, anyway. The main topic from each week is uploaded to the official YouTube account, so you can watch the biggest part of each episode without having to pay for anything. Other parts of the show are occasionally put up as well, but the main topic is the one you want, and need, to watch.

Final Thoughts: I didn’t think I’d care for the show at first. After ignoring it for the first season, I stumbled across an episode one night early in the second season and began watching out of boredom. The main topic was about how poorly American territories like Puerto Rico are being treated by the US government and how underrepresented they are. I was intrigued, so watched it for a few minutes. It has been about five months since then and I am hooked. If this article hasn’t convinced you, go and watch the half hour segment on surveillance, including an interview with Edward Snowden: it is more informative than any standard news report out there, is a hell of a lot funnier, and puts a lot into perspective in a way only this show can. If that doesn’t convince you, feel free to turn away. But that segment is amazing, and once you’re done with it, there are over a hundred videos to emerge yourself in.

Besides, he talks about New Zealand sometimes, occasionally, rarely, but we still get acknowledged. We’re obliged as a people to overreact and fawn over anyone who recognises us: you owe it to John Oliver to watch his show.

33

And to articulate these emotions in a kid-friendly manner, five of her core emotions are personified inside her mind; Joy, Sadness, Disgust, Anger and Fear. Looks good on paper… But, clever as the concept may be, having five one dimensional characters squabbling for an hour and a half does get a bit tiresome.

No stranger to making grown-ups cry like babies, Pixar usually hits me right in the feels, exploiting my overachieving tear ducts. With Inside Out’s concept, it could have wrecked me with ease, but unfortunately, I found the emotional themes to be ruined by the rather unlikable leads. I mean… I don’t think I was supposed to be rooting for Joy to get brutally killed off, right?

INSIDE OUT

Director Pete Doctor, Ronaldo Del Carmen Starring Amy Poehler, Bill Hader, Lewis Black

Reviewed by Matthew Cattin

So it didn’t quite measure up with the feels, but did it provide the laughs? Sadly, no way. But it did try, and it was a bit painful to watch. The back few rows were occupied by primary school kids on a class trip, and their feature length silence was proof enough. They weren’t laughing.

I wasn’t laughing. So I have to ask… Who was? Probably Pixar on its pile of gold.

It’s always a shame when a brilliant and original concept isn’t enough. You want to enjoy it… You’re open to love it… And you walk out feeling just a bit flat.

Critics and almost everybody I talk to disagree with my verdict in a big way… And perhaps I’m just a cruel bastard with no sense of fun and a heart of ash… But I usually count myself a huge fan of Pixar’s work, honest!

When 11-year-old Riley moves with her family from Minnesota to San Francisco, her life is turned inside out lol.

However, a Pixar dud is still a fairly decent film, such is the studio’s standard of work, so three stars it is.

The staff was notably friendly, and the place was extremely popular. But even with a full house, our food still came really quickly, which my grumbling stomach was especially grateful for.

DOS AMIGOS 93 Tamaki Dr, Mission Bay

Reviewed by Julie Cleaver Nestled within the Mission Bay shops, Dos Amigos serves authentic Mexican food accompanied with a large side of good vibes. With sombreros on the walls, ponchos draped over the seats, staff cutely greeting you with a ‘hola’ and even a little lizard in a glass display case, the place definitely has a unique Mexican flare.

I ordered a fajita and my partner ordered the ribs. I’ve gotta be honest here, my fajita was pretty average. It came out looking cool, with two plates full of different condiments, but it tasted worse than the burritos I make at home. That’s the thing with tortilla wraps: no matter where you eat them, they basically taste the same.

I’d recommend getting something a bit different, like the ribs (which were delicious) or the tequila chicken.

But whatever you do, order the curly fries! Served with delicious aioli and ketchup, those springy little potatoes were my favorite dish of the evening.

Even though my meal was not crazily exciting, the friendly staff and fun atmosphere made me a happy customer.

I’d recommend going on a Wednesday, as they have a special deal on the ribs. Or on a Friday or Saturday night, as the Mariachi band will serenade you. HOLA!

MADAME BOVARY

Directed by Sophie Barthes Starring Mia Wasikowka, Ezra Miller, Rhys Ifans Reviewed by Ethan Sills I will make this an easy review by summing my feelings up in one word: blurgh.

This has been the stand out worst movie I have seen so far this year. An adaptation of the nineteenth century novel of the same name, I went in expecting good things; period dramas are usually entertaining and well done, or at the very least pleasant to look at. This didn’t even have that going for it: the terrible final act was not helped by an overuse of shaky cam that literally made me sick. And that’s the least of this film’s problems.

Australian actress, Mia Wasikowska, puts on an American accent to play French girl, Emma Bovary, who hopes marrying a village doctor will improve her fortunes. She quickly finds her new life dull, and looks for enjoyment in buying expensive clothes and connecting with two other local men.

The movie is all about her plight, and after reading about the book, I found it is meant to be a statement against the romanticism of the era; a novel about the problems with setting your aspirations so high. Yet if we are meant to feel sorry for Emma, the movie grandly fails. We are supposed to believe her husband is boring enough to set off her downward spiral, yet he is so understated that I could not possibly believe it. Topped off by Wasikowska’s performance, which is so whiny and cold, and it is basically two hours watching a spoilt brat (the American accent doesn’t help in this regard).

The costumes and sets are the sole saving grace, being both beautiful to look at even when the camera is trying to make me ill. Yet they are not enough to hold up the irritating performances that can’t deliver the dialogue, and the movie makes no attempt to inject some modernity to the story. Boring, unbelievable and simply unpleasant, you could watch a hundred other period dramas and they’d all be better than this.

Experience work life in the USA through a once-in-a-life-time scholarship to intern at: -

Saatchi & Saatchi, New York Paramount Recording Studios, Los Angeles The Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York FCB West, San Francisco The Broadmoor, Colorado Springs The American Museum of Natural History, New York Red Antler, New York PUBLIC Restaurant, New York Westpac Americas, New York AvroKO Hospitality Group, New York Booktrack, San Francisco Play Rugby USA, New York Zolfo Cooper, New York Stanford University Residential Dining Enterprises, San Francisco - rogenSI, San Francisco To be eligible you must: - Have (or be able to get) a NZ passport - Be completing, or have completed, your degree in 2015 - Meet the requirements of one of the roles specified by our 2016 US hosts - Be available to depart between December 2015 and June 2016 - Meet all United States visa eligibility criteria and requirements

18 scholarships available Applications close 31 August

Apply now INTERNZ.AUT.AC.NZ Experience the changing world 35

AUTinterNZ

PROFILE

KIM MAR This time last year, Kim was contemplating exams and preparing her AUT interNZ international scholarship application. Today, Kim is shooting (and drinking) cocktails in Manhattan.

Where I work: “I work at AvroKO Hospitality Group in New York as Marketing/ Project Coordinator.”

What I do: “Right now, I’m producing marketing materials for the different restaurants and coordinating projects with several co-workers to ensure they run smoothly from the start.

“One of my favourite parts of my role is the monthly cocktail photo shoot I do for one of the company’s restaurants, where I photograph the latest cocktail on the menu for social media. After shooting, they always insist for me to not waste it so why not have a quick cocktail to ease me to the end of my busy workday?”

Tips for getting ahead: “It is true…the city never sleeps! Work hours are long, dinners are late and sleep is precious. Hospitality especially is a fastpaced industry where there isn’t really a standstill at any part of the day (or night). Something is always happening or you are preparing for something. There is always a new task lined up after one is completed. Work is constant, work is late, but it is advancing and rewarding.”

Kim is a Bbus graduate with a double major in marketing and design. She was one of 10 recipients of 2015 AUT interNZ international scholarships to experience working in a major US city through an internship with one of AUT’s US host partners.

Applications for 2016 scholarships are open now.

Final year students can find out about eligibility and apply at internz.aut.ac.nz.

HUNGOVER NOODLES Extract from Save with Jamie by Jamie Oliver This super-fast, super-tasty meal is perfect when you're feeling a little down or, let's be honest, a bit hungover, as it's full of the good stuff. Flavouring the noodles with a dressing is genius, and a runny fried egg on top is a bit of an added bonus. Drizzle with lots of chilli sauce to ensure it gives you a slap around the face, and tuck in.

Preparation and Cooking Time: 20m Serves 4 •

1 thumb-sized piece of ginger

•

1 clove of garlic

•

2 tablespoons low-salt soy sauce

•

3 tablespoons rice wine vinegar

•

3 tablespoons sesame oil

•

1 Chinese cabbage

•

500 g fresh or frozen broccoli

•

250 g medium egg noodles

•

200 g mangetout

•

4 large eggs

•

olive oil

•

hot chilli sauce, to serve

Peel the ginger and garlic and finely grate into a large bowl. Add the soy sauce, vinegar, sesame oil and a pinch of pepper, then mix to make a dressing. Trim and shred the cabbage and put it into a large pan of boiling salted water with the broccoli (cut into florets first, if using fresh) and noodles to cook for around 3 minutes, then add the mangetout for a final minute. Drain it all well, then toss in the bowl of dressing.

Meanwhile, fry the eggs in a large non-stick frying pan on a medium heat with a lug of olive oil until cooked to your liking (I like mine with a runny yolk). Divide the noodles between bowls, pop an egg on top of each one, and serve drizzled with chilli sauce for that allimportant added kick.

Jamie's top tip: Using buckwheat noodles in this dish like you see in the picture is really nice – they're a little bit more expensive but have a great flavour and texture.

Just make sure you check the packet instructions in case they take longer to cook. Feel free to also ring the changes by adding any other fresh seasonal veg, or leftovers you have in the fridge.

37

Check out more of Jamie's recipes at http://www.jamieoliver.com/recipes/

P

Z U Z L E S

SLEEPY TIME

Drained

Drooping

Burnedout

Pooped

Fatigued

Faint

Dog-tired

Tuckeredout

Overworked

Spent

Exhausted

Rundown

Sleepy

Wasted

Drowsy

Overtaxed

Beat

Worn

Haggard

Dead

Circle all the words in the wordfind, tear this page out & pop it into the box on the side of the red debate stands, and you could win this motherflippin’ sweet prize:

Name:

Email:

TWO free Burger King cheeseburger vouchers [222 Queen Street] Yipee!

YOUR AUT OUTLOOK CALENDAR HAS GONE NEXT LEVEL! Last year we scrapped the old Webmail system and brought you Office 365 Outlook.

Your Outlook calendar will now: • Automatically sync your academic timetable • Alert you when a class, room or time has been changed • Allow you to sync this information to all your devices – smart-phones, tablets and laptops If you would like to know more about your Office 365 calendar please see our knowledge base http://aut.ac/calendarSYNC or call the Student Service Desk on 921 9888, selecting option 4.

39

Rebekah Smith, interned at Paramount Recording Studios, LOS ANGELES. Bachelor of Communication Studies - Video Production

Where will your degree take you?

AUT interNZ is your first destination for the best internship opportunities in New Zealand and overseas.

Exclusive to AUT students.

LAUNCH YOUR CAREER AT INTERNZ.AUT.AC.NZ.

W H E R E B U S I N E S S M E E T S Y O U N G TA L E N T