Debate | Issue 3 | Good Things Come In Threes

DEBATE ISSUE 03 | MARCH 2016

GOOD THINGS COME IN THREES LIKE 3SOMES | 3 DOLLAR DEALS | 3D PRINTING | 3 FEATURE ARTISTS

CREDITS EDITOR Laurien Barks lbarks@aut.ac.nz SUB - EDITORS Amelia Petrovich Julie Cleaver DESIGNER Ramina Rai rrai@aut.ac.nz CONTRIBUTORS Mahafrin Variava, Brittany Lane, Caterina Atkinson, Sarah Heanes, Julie Cleaver, Amelia Petrovich, Roxanne Mathilda, Rachel Barker, Sheetal Samy, Conor Leathley, Kieran Bennett, Rhianna Osborne, Shivan, Hayley Stevenson, Tharindu Jayasinghe, Sarah Heares ADVERTISING Harriet Smythe hsmythe@aut.ac.nz

Contributions can be sent to lbarks@aut.ac.nz

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Material contained in this publication does not necessarily represent the views or opinions of AuSM, its advertisers, contributors, Soar Print or its subsidiaries.

CONTENTS Pg 4 Editor’s Letter

Pg 18 3D Printers

Pg 36 Why Frodo Baggins is Luggage

Pg 6 Prez Sez

Pg 22 Look Sharp Finds

Pg 38 In Short

Pg 7 Cool Shit

Pg 24 Good Things Come in Threes

Pg 40 The Threes of Fashion

Pg 8 Brendon Thomas and the Vibes

Pg 27 Year Three

Pg 42 Reviews

Pg 10 Good Thoughts, Good Words,

Pg 28 Third Years

Pg 44 Recipthrees

Good Deeds

Pg 30 Vox Pops

Pg 46 Puzzles

Pg 12 Feature Artists

Pg 31 Rule of Three

Pg 15 3am Thoughts

Pg 32 Third One’s the Charm

AUSM.ORG.NZ

Cover illustration by Ramina Rai FA C E B O O K . C O M / A U S M D E B AT E

So without further ado, the countdown; my attempt to cleanse my soul, open up to the world, and deny any of my cherub-esque friends the satisfaction that comes with re-posting my 2009 statuses (seriously guys, it stops being a funny thing to do when Grandma joins in).

EDITOR’S LETTER Hi All, I’m going to be honest with you guys. Writing this editorial took a lot of courage, today. It took a lot of typing and deleting, and a lot of arguments between my brain and my heart. It’s funny, so often, my favourite traits of another person are the result of their darkest moments in life. I couldn’t imagine people ever being ashamed of the path that lead them to where they are, with their beautifully blossomed characteristics I admire so much. I’ve witnessed the most twisted and damning paths shape the strongest, happiest, and most stunning people. So why should I be so afraid to share the sketched, messy, dirt-stained map that came as a result of my journey?

I guess it’s always harder when it’s your own dungy door you’re holding open for the world. But what have I got to lose? I’ve come this far. In the spirit of issue three, I’ve decided to open up, get real, and hopefully inspire self-acceptance in those of you who need it most right now.

I’ve decided to reveal the first three status’ I ever posted on Facebook.

I was young, stupid, and hooked on Zombie Chews at the time – with an unreal amount of confidence, a loud mouth, and a desire to be accepted. It was a combo no amount of future face-palming would be able to rehabilitate.

3) “Is snuggling her two beautiful kittens!!”

Let us remember this status is made marginally better by the fact that this was back in the days when Facebook would post your name before your status in that clever, time-saving way it has. I never liked this feature, it encouraged people to give mundane details of their lives that no one could’ve cared less about. Either that, or desperate attempts to dramatize a mundane every day event in order to make it status-acceptable. I never participated in this kind of behaviour (Kittens are beautiful. Kittens are above mundane-level. I have no real qualms with this status). I was strict on the content of my statuses because I couldn’t stand the idea of being another hormonal, peppy white girl, begging for attention and wasting peoples’ time.

2) “Was attacked by a mad woman with a hair straightener!!! AND NOW HAS A HUGE BATTLE WOUND!!!!!!!!!!!”

Nevermind.

3) “Is a wonder goddess.”

Do I want to travel back and whoop my own ass? Yes. Is the status inaccurate, despite the language being a bit more sparkly than what you’re used to? No. Have a great week everyone! My photo this week is the third snap I was ever tagged in on Facebook. If I’m remembering correctly, I was pretending to be drunk because, if my statuses didn’t make it clear, I was a bit of a ruthless badass.

Laurien

PREZ SEZ

Kia ora AuSMers, Week three already! Oh how time flies. Let me guess, you already have an assessment due and spent a little too much time last week having fun. Don’t worry, you will learn how to balance things out. I truly hope you have all made a friend or three.

Week three is a good time to reflect because good things come in three. For example: 1) All the free stuff you would have received over the last two weeks from all the stalls that AuSM organised for you.

2) All the amazing events we had running not only during the day but every week night as well.

3) Free food. And don’t worry! This won’t stop now that O Week is over. Every Monday throughout semester, there will be free feeds at South campus, every Tuesday they’ll be at North, and every Thursday on City campus. I hope to see you there!

I’ll also give your my top three study tips so you can put them to use now: 1) Find a space that works for you (home, on campus, inside or out) 2) Colour code everything and anything you can 3) Get rid of distractions; extra noise plays a big role in your concentration and mood I hope these help and you guys are enjoying uni. Feel free to contact me about anything at urshula.ansell@aut.ac.nz

URSHULA ANSELL

SRC SEZ

“Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.” George Bernard Shaw

Kia Orana, Coming to university as a Pacific Island student can mean two things.

The first is the pride you will bring to your family, and the second is being able to use uni as an excuse to your parents to get out of cleaning the house and doing the washing.

Yes uni is many things, BUT university really is your gateway to a new exciting chapter in life. If you haven’t read your student diary yet then let me introduce myself, I’m Drew and I’m your Pacific Island Affairs Officer for 2016.

When I first came to university, I was 17 years old and thought I knew everything and was God’s gift to the earth. GOSH how wrong I was!

Between church, family and a part-time job, university seemed like a never ending cycle of going to class, doing the essays and then going home to listen to the long chat about how much your family has sacrificed for you to be here and blah blah blah.

Then one day it hit me. I was going through university thinking I could tackle this task alone, when really, I needed to use the support of my family and friends and, most of all, the university.

As a student you really don’t realise how much support you have til you ask. So ask every question, even if it’s “dumb,” talk to your lecturer, and most of all ask for HELP. Because when you’re covered in lolly leis and holding that degree, you’ll realize it was all worth it.

DREW HARDING

Have a great year. Kia Manuia Drew

COOL SHIT

ISLAM AWARENESS WEEK Come and discover our AUT Muslim community during Islam Awareness Week. There’s a myriad of activities including an Islamic exhibition, Arabic calligraphy, henna tattooing, a hijab tutorial, Islamic music, food customs and tastings, plus a special lunch time seminar focusing on current issues affecting Muslim communities in New Zealand and around the world.

March 14-18 in WG Level 2 (City), AS Level 1 (Islamic Exhibition)(North), or Kaife (Islamic Exhibition)(South).

ALSO: On Thursday March 17th, AUT Chaplains Cate Thorn, Sheikh Rafat Najm and Jean McElhaney, and AUT Professor of Diversity Edwina Pio sensitively open up the question of religious extremism in a panel discussion. No RSVP necessary, just bring a packed lunch. 12pm – 1pm in WF710 City Campus.

WIN TRILOGY TONE TIME Providing instant moisture for thirsty sin, Hydrating Mist Toner is loved by make-up artists around the world and is a must-have for your make-up kit. Create flawless coverage by spritzing on your foundation brush before you apply your base, spritz over make-up to create a dewy look, the perfect hydrator throughout the day to keep your look fresh in the office air conditioning or warm weather. This retails at $29.90 and is available from selected Farmer, pharmacy, department and health stores nationwide.

DAZ HOW I ROLL We’ve got 3 quadruple passes to Skateland Roller Skating & Sports Rink! That means you and four pals can gain free entry and skate hire and roll your cares away.

Just email lbarks@aut.ac.nz with your name, campus, and the three things you’d wish for if faced with a genie.

BRENDON THOMAS AND THE VIBES

In the spirit of good things coming in threes, we couldn’t help but hit up New Zealand’s very own X Factor superstars: Brendon Thomas and the Vibes for an interview. We talked to band member, Michael Anderson about the X Factor,

We all know reality television isn’t always a true depiction of the real world…Any faux “reality” moments you’re allowed to tell us about?

uni life, and just a bunch of random other stuff we thought would tickle your fancy!

when people audition are filmed after the audition. If that wasn’t already obvious they’re actually also mostly staged. The live shows are actually all live but the guest artist performances are pre-recorded before the show and sometimes even on different nights.

We are quite often prompted on what to say in interviews. 90 percent of the instruments played on the show were mimed to a backing track, even most of the guest acts. None of our performances were mimed in anyway. Joe Irvine provoked the insults he received on that fateful night backstage before the show. Willy Moon and Natalia Kills are quite nice and genuine people actually. New Zealanders are brutal in their revenge...

Tell us about life on the set of the X Factor!

It’s an incredible experience being part of a reality TV show and a relatively crazy process when you’re part of a singing show because at the beginning nobody really cares about you. You become an annoying auditionee for a competition with 8000 others who are just “in the way” for everyone trying to organize the show. Hence our average day changed from being ordered round like unwanted sheep to being treated like Class A international celebrities towards the end.

A lot of the early stages with the back stories

How has life changed after the X Factor?

We get recognized on the street and more people tend to come to our shows. We got signed to SONY music and are in the middle of producing an EP with them which should be completed in April 2016. We’ve had some awesome opportunities to play festivals and work with prominent people in the NZ music industry. We are very thankful for the promotion of the show and the people who worked hard to make it happen. It was a wonderful, wild and purely unbelievable time and I hope we get the chance to reach an audience of that size in the future of our music careers.

How do you find balancing uni life and your music? Any pointers?

Don’t sleep. It’s quite crazy, I was preparing for exams during the final shows. There were a

few moments where I was reviewing my notes backstage before the show for the next day’s exams. I had to balance full time uni with full time TV show because the scholarships office wouldn’t let me take a semester off and

everyone to shut up after a show while I signed a boob for the first time. In complete silence, with 40 onlookers, I promptly attempted to sign a boob with the wrong end of a vivid. I also confessed my childhood crush

keep my scholarship. It’s hard but it can be done and it definitely pays off. Education is an absolute gift and I’m so blessed to have the opportunity to freely access it. These days it’s still challenging but not nearly as crazy, as most of our gigs are on the weekends and we still find enough time to practice.

to Demi Lovato in person.

What’s the most embarrassing/wild thing you’ve done over the course of your uni life so far?

Just want to say a thank you to AUT and their lecturers for putting up with me coming in late and constantly emailing them for course content when I miss something. It’s a truly wonderful and unique university.

Oh man. Uni life really has nothing on tour life. Being on tour with I am Giant was a truly crazy experience. We missed plane flights, didn’t sleep much, woke up in strange houses with strange people, and many other activities which can’t be disclosed...Shelton once told

If you were in charge of AUT for a day, what would you do?

Mix a music festival with $5 Jugs at Vesbar and the foam party....

If you could swap places with any book or film character, who would it be and why?

I always wanted to be George Pratt from The Greatest Gift. It’s a comeback story which teaches you that greatest gift of all is indeed the gift of life. So one may as well try to make it an incredible one.

What’s your favourite child hood story about yourself to tell other people?

I used to ride a fire engine around and pretend to put out fake fires across the neighbourhood.

You can only eat, wear, watch, and listen to the same thing for the rest of your life…what do you choose?

Eat marinated pork ribs, wear fat pants and a knitted sweater, watch A Wonderful Life (beautiful forgotten black and white film), and listen to Abbey Road by the Beatles or Demi Lovato’s first album.

Good Thoughts, Good Words,Good Deeds Mahafrin Variava | Illustration by Tyler Hinde Good things do come in threes. I for one, couldn’t agree more! So when I decided to contribute to this week’s Debate, I didn’t just think about ‘things’, I thought about attributes, skills, values or other types of ‘three’s’ that I could relate to. After lots of doodling, it struck me. Good thoughts, good words and good deeds. The main tenants of one of the oldest monotheistic faiths in history: Zoroastrianism.

It is said, that Zoroastrianism, inspired many of the world’s largest religions i.e. many concepts from Zoroastrianism emerge in Islam, the Baha’i faith, and Christianity. More importantly, Zoroastrianism was the main religion of the most powerful empire in the world, the Persian Empire. However, without stretching my theological boundaries, I’ll venture into why I chose Good Thoughts, Good Words and Good Deeds as a topic for this article.

My inspiration comes from my experience in India this summer and how I coped with many life changes at once. More so, I took a world view to my inspiration. I thought about how humanity has excelled in the areas of academia, science, technology and politics and to some extent; social change.

Despite this, I found myself worried about the many horrible events of terrorism that took place last year, the killings of many University students in Africa, the riots of the JNU students in India, the restrictions on young women pursuing education in Pakistan and so on.

But in all this pain, I was reminded of how blessed I was to be able to progress in all areas of my life with no hindrances.

That said, I thought I would make a conscious effort to do as much as I could for my growth and development but also, for those around me. As semester one commences, many of us come in with big hopes, clean slates, ambition

and the enthusiasm to make a mark for ourselves at university! I figured, we could actively involve the three tenants of the Zoroastrian faith in our everyday conduct to help ourselves and those around us!

Even you’re not religious, or spiritual, these three tenants sum up how we should go about our actions, our behaviour, our thinking and how we interact with those around us.

Without further ado: Good thoughts: Think about your upcoming year as the best year of your life and do that every year from now on in! Think about everything you want to accomplish this year and how you want to make a mark at university. Whether it be by contributing to club social life, participating in events, getting to know your faculty, writing articles for the Debate or even making some time to volunteer externally for community causes. One helping hand goes a long way! Try not to think about this year as being stressful.

Take each day as it comes and enjoy your first semester at university (whether you’re a first year or doing your Doctoral papers).

Good words: Keep things constructive.

Despite me telling people not to stress about this year, I sense that will happen and that’s okay. So try to encourage those around you and spread those positive vibes. Also, keep telling yourself that you can do it. Tell yourself that you can achieve anything you put your mind to this year.

Especially academically if that’s where you’re inclined.

Good deeds: This comes in many forms.

Volunteering at the Auckland City Mission, sharing your notes with fellow classmates, helping someone who has helplessly dropped their books, guiding someone to the right class rooms (because you’re cool and have managed to quickly find your way through all our campuses), sharing exciting opportunities with your friends (i.e. if there’s an upcoming conference or youth event that you think your friends may be interested in). Even just something as small as smiling at those that walk past you – especially on a gloomy grey day - or returning your library books on time (trust me, you want to avoid that fine, also it may be a pleasant surprise for the library).

I was born a Zoroastrian and although the concept of religion is very fluid to me these days, I feel everyone has the inherent ability to be awesome! Even you’re not religious, or spiritual, these three tenants sum up how we should go about our actions, our behaviour, our thinking and how we interact with those around us. We may lose sight of that along the way given the many challenges life throws at us, but let’s, you know, not?

I hope you know you can adapt these tenants where you feel best. They don’t have to be just at university. This year should be all about doing great things for yourself and those around you because we all know humanity could use a boost in tough times! I’ll leave you with a quote from the Zoroastrian Prophet, Zoroaster himself. Not only was he a religious man, but he was wise and philosophical, so it only seems apt to end with something that ties this article together.

Turn yourself not away from three best things: Good Thoughts, Good Words, and Good Deeds.

Zoroaster

feature artistS

BRITTANY LANE

How would you describe your style?

My own personal style is quite sketchy and rough. I find that scraggly lines and mistakes are what make a piece unique and give it character. It creates a relatable piece, as if people are seeing the process of how I’ve created my work.

Where do you draw the most inspiration?

What’s your dream job?

I draw my inspiration from a variety of influences, most notably from music, be it the lyrics or a riff in a song. Also from illustrators such as Quentin Blake, Dr Seuss and Lichtenstein. They are big influences when creating a piece. Especially when it has to do with food, cooking, baking, and of course, eating!

Roller-coaster or theme park ride designer is quite high up there, but I would have to say being a full time illustrator for my own story books whilst being a musician.

CATERINA ATKINSON

How would you describe your style?

I’m still trying to pin down an actual “style” for my work. As far as photography goes, I try and go for everyday details. And I just try and make my cartoons cute. Damn cute.

Where do you draw the most inspiration?

What’s your dream job?

I draw a lot of inspiration from my favourite photographers: Ashley Armitage, Heidi Systo, and Carissa Gallo, among others. I also get really inspired by my favourite films, and by everyday things.

Snippets of conversations, people I see, random lines from songs I like. I try and find inspiration in as many places as I can!

The big dream is to see my name in the end credits of a movie under the words ‘Director of Photography’. Being a cinematographer is my absolute dream job.

,

SARAH HEARES Where do you draw the most inspiration?

My clients inspire me so much. All too often they have these beautiful visions in their minds of their perfect wedding but consider themselves not creative enough to bring it to life.

Describe your favourite floral style.

I love bouquets that are wild, scooped from the garden. I think any work that I do needs to be the kind of creation that lives in that moment, something that can’t be successfully replicated. Every couple has their own sparkle; the best floral style makes them shine even brighter.

What’s your favourite part of the job?

It has to be delivering the bouquets. There is nothing quite like the look on a brides face when she sees her flowers for the first time.

The happiness I can bring to a couple, be it through fair pricing, beautiful bouquets or whatever, is invaluable to me. There’s no greater sense of accomplishment really.

If you or anyone you know are looking for out of this world flowers get in touch with me at sarah@printandpetal.co.nz.

I specialize in bridal bouquets, wedding and event installations, and advertising/campaign work. To check out previous work head over to www.printandpetal.co.nz

3AM THOUGHTS

People hate her, even I hate her.

Sometimes our sub-editor, Amelia Petrovich, likes to wake herself up at 3am, record the first thought that comes to her head, and share it with the world.

Anyway, this 3am thought is exactly the kind of terrible pun Drunk Me would make at the most inopportune moment possible. Like, picture me, okay? Picture me a little better looking than I actually am though, okay? It’s my hypothetical scenario, I can direct you however I like. Cool so there’s me right? And I’m somehow hotter, right? Cool. But picture me also drunk. Eyes half open, lipstick smudgey, probably swaying a bit.

Got that? Fantastic.

March 3rd, 3:00am “Americans indieaaaaaaan” Yes, there were exactly that many a’s in the word.

Also would you look at how damn perfectly this fits the theme? Not only is it a 3am thought, it was recorded on 03/03/16 which was basically sheer and brilliant luck, because I do not have even the foggiest recollection of writing this shit down. I literally cannot recall.

3am has become a weird time for me actually, I feel like my body is getting far too used to waking up at the same semi-damaging o’clock and I’m finding I’ll either sleep through my alarm (which I can’t fathom, because it’s a very loud song by Jestski Safari on loop) or do shizz like this, clamor for my phone while still largely unconscious and type out weirdness without even knowing I’ve done it.

My first thought upon reading this 3am thought created without recollection in the dead of night was that the phrasing reminded me an awful lot of a terrible girl I know. That girl is Drunk Me ©, and to my horror, I now know that she lives not only at the bottom of a bottle of White Label pinot gris, but also in purgatory between sleepy time and wake up time. Drunk Me is hyperactive and super white, the quintessential sorority girl off her tits at a house party, throwing her arms up into the air every five seconds and crowing “oh mah god this is my sooooooooong!”

I think I hate her especially.

So imagine my friend comes over and introduces me to Dan. Dan is an American exchange student who is here mainly to see where they shot Lord of the Rings but also probably studying ecology or something. We get talking and Dan tells me that he’s from Oregon, which he guesses is a little like Wellington really on account of all of the hipsters that are everywhere. Now, Drunk Me thinks- nay- knows she is hilarious right? Sober Me may be worried, doubtful and self-critical but Drunk Me is a comedic legend. So as soon as Dan cranks out his little bit about hipsters in Oregon, Drunk Me swings her floppy body towards him with a lopsided grin and slurs, “HAH! You mean you’re like… an American INDIEaaaaaaan? Get it, like, indie-an? Hah… Because you’re indie… and native…W-wait Dan, Dan… where are you going? THIS IS MY SONG DAN!” Lame, barely making sense and ever so slightly racist- it’s a pun to remember for all the wrong reasons. Great job Drunk Me ©, and special thanks to Three In The Morning Me © for bringing it up on March 3rd during a few brief seconds of near lucidity.

You’re both such miserable assholes.

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COMPETITION TIME! Okay artists, creatives, and bored people sitting in a lecture hall…this one’s for you! In the space below, we want you to sketch, paint, crayon, lipstick, (whatever tool you have on hand, basically) a mystical creature inspired by the three wishes you would disclose to a genie. These creatures can take the form of animals, super heroes, or…just…like actual mystical creatures. Whatever inspires you!

Leave your entries in the little red box on the side of our stands, or, if you’re fancy, email them through to ramina.rai@aut.ac.nz! Don’t forget to fill in your details. The winner will receive a double pass to Rainbows End, and the runner up will receive a $50 STA travel voucher! Deadline is Monday March 28th .

NAME:

EMAIL:

3D printing will it change the world?

Julie Cleaver 3-D printing “has the potential to revolutionize the way we make almost anything.” – Barack Obama There are a few technological inventions that have changed the planet forever. The combustion engine is one of them, so is the internet, and in a few years, we may be able to add 3D printing to that list.

For those of you who don’t know, 3D printing or ‘additive manufacturing’ is literally a machine that prints objects.

It sounds like something out of a sci-fi movie, but believe me, McFly, this one’s no hoax.

Companies are currently using 3D printing to manufacture almost anything, from prototypes of Nike shoes to body parts.

That’s right, you read it correctly, they can now print anatomy.

3D printing is already a multi-billion dollar industry and experts estimate that by 2018 it will be worth $12.8 billion.

This invention is changing the face of production, so it’s useful to know what it is and how it works.

Since my technological skills are limited to Microsoft Word, I went and found someone who owns a 3D printer to learn more. Wolfgang Schmidt is a twenty fouryear-old actor who just so happens to have his own personal 3D printer.

He bought it to design and create swords. His brother Taonui Schmidt is

a mechanical engineer and helps his brother design objects to be printed.

Wolfgang said in order to use a 3D printer you must have a computer programme that can create 3D models, otherwise “you’ll just be using templates on the internet and that would suck.” There are tons of object templates you can download online, but if you want to create your own objects, “you definitely have to know how to use solid works or a CAD programme,” added Taonui. Using these 3D modeling programmes can be quite complex, but Wolfgang said “Google Sketch Up makes it pretty easy”.

3D printing is already a multi-billion dollar industry and experts estimate that by 2018 it will be worth $12.8 billion.

Once you have designed a 3D object, Wolfgang said you then “convert it to what’s called a step file.” When you create a step file, you can determine the way the object is printed. He said you can control the density of the object or whether it’s “a shell, solid object, or honey comb” shape.

You then send your step file to the printer and it creates your object in a really interesting way. Essentially the printer melts the substance you chose (either

plastic, metal, glass, human tissue or even food) and creates an object by layering lines of that substance on top of each other.

It’s a “reasonably loud” process that can take “fifteen minutes to print the size of a cellphone. If it’s solid, it’s around forty minutes,” according to Wolfgang. He also said “it’s important to clean it when you’re finished with it,” which is something to consider if you’re interested in getting one.

Also if you’re looking at buying one, 3D printers can cost anywhere between a few hundred dollars to a few hundred thousand dollars. Wolfgang bought his one for $1000 NZD from Davinci 1.0, which is a pretty good deal from what I’ve seen.

Since 3D printers are cheap, fast and flexible in terms of what you can create, they are used by many industries for a variety of reasons. NASA uses them to create parts for their engines, the medical world uses them for ‘bio-printing’, the food industry uses them to design cakes and create new products, and of course the manufacturing world utilizes them for just about everything.

3D printing has the power to change the world and in a few years when you’re driving a 3D printed car and eating 3D printed food, remember you read it here first.

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SPORTS PROFILE

The O-mazing O-week Sports Challenge!

Molly Dagger It was blue against a slightly darker shade of blue on Thursday the 3rd of March as the inaugural AUT vs AU O-week Sports Challenge surged underway. This amazing competition will take place at the beginning of every year during orientation week and will see our best sports teams take on Auckland University, with the dream of winning the distinguished O Week Sports Challenge Shield.

First up was the Women’s futsal, in which AUT soared to absolute glory with a 4-3 win. “It was a very close game – Auckland was a challenging team” said freshly crowned MVP Bel van Noorden, “but our team put in the grit when it mattered”.

AUT’s fit futsal fellas also were crowned champions of futsal as they crushed the hopes and dreams of Auckland’s team with a 5-4 slaying. “We made history today because it was our first time playing at AU” said prodigious player Elliot Cooper, “and we played really well considering it was our first game together”.

Our netball girls did us proud in their fight for greatness. After an absolute nail biter, they scored their winning goal in the last 40 seconds which made the final score 31-30. “It was pretty intense, but we kept our composure and pulled away in the last quarter” said the wonderful wing defense, Mechaela Major.

Our babe’n basketball ladies started off on the slow side, but ended up faster than a greased pig on roller-skates as they caught up to and just scooted past the Auckland girls with a win of 29-28. The speedy dribbling and rippling biceps of our basketball boys were good, however, not quite good enough it seemed. Auckland’s team were a bit speedier with their dribbling and their biceps may have been rippling that little bit more because they came out on top with a win of 63-50. Oh, well - we are still incredibly proud of our AUT lads!

Thanks to the brilliant skill, fantastic flexibility and joyous jumping of AUT’s

competitors, we ended up as the overall champions which meant that we came away with the prestigious O Week Sports Challenge Shield!

University Sport is a huge part of the overall University experience, so make sure you get involved with it where possible whether it be representing your faculty in this year’s Interfaculty Sports Tournament or joining a social sports team. Email sport@aut.ac.nz or check out the AUT Sport Facebook page to find out more about how you can get sporty with AUT! UPCOMING EVENTS • NZ Tertiary 3x3 Basketball Championships: Saturday April 2nd in Hamilton.

•

NZ University Futsal Championships: April 15th – 17th in Wellington

•

NZ University Rowing Championships: April 23rd – 24th in Twizel

CHEAP THREELLS

This amazing Buzz Lightyear mask Confuse all of your friends with this brilliant Toy Story facemask! It may not be clear if you’re angry, happy, or just nervous, but it will be clear that you’re Buzz Lightyear… or at least, it might be clear that your face is actually Buzz’s face (but essentially is still your own face). Either way, it’ll be fun.

One of these lanterns These are actually pretty cool and I’m stoked that I found them. These paper lanterns make any dingy room look ever so slightly less shit, which is invaluable if you’re prone to finding yourself spending extended periods of time in dingy rooms.

They also collect dead moths really well if that’s what you’re into.

False piercings Now these may look tacky, but look again dear reader. Yes they’re plastic but there are also eight of them and they’re three damn dollars. I paid a normal amount for my measly white girl nose stud and now I feel like a total fool. For three modest dollars I could be looking like a sexy metal chick but here I am totally broke and still looking like me.

Twelve fake moustaches in various shades Just incase you need multiple aliases for an almost-fortnight. There are colours to suit every complexion too, which is a really nice touch, this kit boasts everything from a jet black to a cheesy kind of orange… which is good for like, diversity and stuff.

Amelia Petrovich If Disney’s Ariel was a poor student living in Grey Lynn, Look Sharp would be her grotto.

They’ve got gadgets and gizmos a’ plenty, and boasting outrageously cheap prices, the store really is an inner-city icon and asset.

The second you set foot inside the door, Look Sharp on Victoria street is an assault on the senses (but a really fun assault, sort of like an excited terrier meeting you on your front step, tail wagging happily), and anybody could spend hours sifting through this cave of wonders.

However, I thought this week (in the spirit of all things tripled), I’d make the sift a bit easier for y’all and bless you with the best things you can nab at Look Sharp for only $3.00. It’s a price that sits somewhere between a dangerously cheap coffee and an overpriced one, which I think you’ll agree is just dandy for treasures like these:

A plastic crucifix Featuring an image of a pope who may actually be modeling one of the moustaches from the twelve-piece kit. This crucifix was $3.00 but the silver one on the hook below it was $6.00, meaning that the only logical explanation is that the latter is made from real silver. This is the budget version too, for those times where you need a cross STAT.

These fashion stockings This is a bargain price for a pair of stockings that can make your legs beautiful.

I mean look at those things, yeah that’s right, look at your legs. Are they beautiful?

Could they be more beautiful? Then these are the stockings for you my friend.

All of these paper doilies These ones impressed me purely because they’re all different sizes, but apparently one fixed price. I still don’t really know what paper doilies are used for, but I’m happy that no matter my size I can still enjoy them for only $3.00. God bless the trickle-down effect (probably)!

13.6 percent of this pound cake scented candle Okay so technically this candle was $22.00 but our $3.00 limit would allow you a generous 13.6 percent of its glory, so it kind of counts. I was skeptical at first, but this candle legitimately smells exactly like a lemon pound cake. I would even go as far as to recommend it to anyone looking to not eat sugar but still keep a close relationship with real, good smelling cake.

An accidental piece of Game of Thrones merch (?)

I’m not sure what’s going on here, but this was the only moustache bottle with a label saying ‘Joffrey’ on it. It was written in white permanent marker too, so someone out there really wanted to promote themselves.

Could this be a message from beyond the grave, the last branding from a fallen king?

Probably not, but it held my attention for a while.

FENCES A childhood favourite of mine.

GOOD THINGS COME IN THREES Food For Thought If Youre Considering Having a Threesome

by Roxanne Mathilda So let me first start this article by prefacing that I consider myself a sexual person: I am a single, sex-positive feminist who has been on one hell of a journey with her sex life.

Breaking away from my religious background to having my sociological lens completely widened at uni, coming to terms with myself as a sexual being has been a challenging but extremely gratifying process. Not everyone feels the need or want to expand their sexual practice and that is, of course, perfectly okay. A lot of us dream about it, but hold back for a variety of reasons that are usually influenced by how we see ourselves as cultural, sexual beings.

Being a performing arts practitioner and an Arts student, I daresay that my friend group has always been extremely liberal and generally sex-positive on the whole. It has taken time to expand their views, but it is a rare occasion that my peers judge me instead of celebrating my sexual exploits.

Discussing varying sexual practices has fortunately hardly ever been taboo, and I’ve always had a huge pool of second-

hand experience to draw from when in doubt or something.

I have always considered myself moderately experimental.

I am always willing to try anything, as long as I feel completely comfortable - although my experiments have never really gone beyond some light bondage and pretty rough hair-pulling. So when I was propositioned for my first threesome by a heterosexual couple I had become friends with, I experience a whirlwind of conflicting emotions: from being extremely flattered to being very excited and then, all of a sudden, very unsure.

I had been privy to the not-so-public knowledge of this older couple’s sexual practices that often included partnerswapping and threesomes. They had propositioned one of my best friends and her partner before but that proposition had never really come to fruition. So when we all ended up planning to go away together for New Years, there were lots of jokes about threesomes happening. Except it turned out this couple wasn’t joking and were actually propositioning me. When I realised this, naturally, a lot of questions about my own sexual practice came up.

Firstly, how did I feel about threesomes? A common motto of mine is “Never say never”, but I had always imagined my future threesome to be years away, when I was on my future Contiki in Europe feeling crazy, young and free, but not… now?! How did I feel about having sex with a woman, being a mostly heterosexual female? Where would said orgy happen if we were all staying at a small bach? Would it be weird because my ex, who I’m on shallow-friendly terms with, clicked “attending” to the event page on Facebook?

“Where would said orgy happen if we were all staying at a small bach?”

All these questions swarmed in my head as the four-monthaway event loomed. The couple then suggested having a no-pressure conversation about how I felt first, if it made me more comfortable- that is, if I was interested. And I definitely was. My attention had definitely been piqued. Alas, although we had many chances to speak, that conversation never ended up happening. I did end up thinking of a few of those questions though- and I concluded that I probably could have one with them, but I would probably have to be dead drunk, which, luckily for me, is a common situation at a Kiwi New Years at someone’s bach. I had always wondered what it was like to have sex with a woman, and if I would move along the scale of sexuality if I actually liked it. Again, I was not sure if I could have gone forth with my experimenting sober. In the end, the couple did not end up coming to the

bach for New Years, so our threesome never happened.

I know what you’re thinking. Why have I brought you on my threesome journey just to tell you that I didn’t have a threesome? Well, of course I’ve had one, just not with that couple (yet). But that was my first foray into actually seriously considering one.

My first threesome happened just before New Years, actually.

How did this happen? Organically, actually; it wasn’t premeditated at all. I was over at a casual partner’s house, hanging out with his best mate and flatmate. Now, this guy, whom we will call Tom* had asked if I was into threesomes before and my default answer had always been no, simply because I didn’t know Tom well enough to consider it and this was only the third time we’d seen each other, really. I spent the night hanging out with the two of them in their new apartment chatting about life, furniture and broken dreams. It was pretty cute. At some point in the night, I had asked Tom whether his flatmate, Harry, was the guy he had threesomes with. He said yes and asked whether I would like one. I gave my usual answer which was “yeah, nah”.

Later on, however, as we were getting it on, he said to me “I bet you wished Harry was in the room right now”. I thought to myself “Well, to be honest, you’re not really the most generous of lovers, so, I kind of wish he was because that might make my night marginally more exciting.” I thought about it for a full ten minutes (while we were banging- yes, the mind is a wonderful thing) and the more I toyed with the idea, the more I realised that I was really taking to the idea of Harry being in the room. Most importantly, (and pay attention because this is really the main point of this article), I wasn’t feeling freaked out by the idea of having sex with two people; specifically, two guys. I communicated this to Tom, he got Harry into the room and we ended up having a very long, fun night.

Post-coital reflection has made me realise quite a few things. Firstly, the only reason why I engaged in a threesome was because at that very point, I felt completely comfortable both with the idea of a threesome and with the two people I was going to have it with. Although I had only met Harry that night and didn’t really know Tom, spending some time with them beforehand and feeling completely comfortable around them was a key factor to my decision to enter a new realm of sexual activity. This was incredibly important, especially when considering the possibility of feeling degraded as a woman in a male-dominated threesome.

We definitely do not spend enough time driving home the idea of consent in our patriarchal society, let alone the idea that we should only ever engage in any type of sexual activity if this is something we are 100 percent comfortable with. Not 70 percent, but 100 percent. Like my flatmate says, the answer to anything in life should not just be “Okay, I guess” but “F*** yeah, why not?!”

I think that we also often forget that we can talk about these practices- we can and should be engaging in healthy dialogue about different sex practices that can help reduce our culture of sex-shaming, particularly against women who choose to make bold sexual choices. I had told both guys that it was my first time engaging in sex with more than one person and had requested that we start off slow. Being able to talk openly about some of my concerns was very important in creating a safe space that was 100 percent consensual.

“I enjoyed every minute of it and might consider a different combination the next time.”

I know many people that actively consider expanding their sex lives, yet find it very hard to do so. The main question I’m always asked, apart from the common “but how does it work?!” is “how were you able to go through with it?

Had you always wanted to engage in a threesome?” The answer simply is that I felt completely comfortable in the moment that it was proposed and I thought that since it felt right and I wasn’t freaking out, I might as well jump on the chance because I didn’t know if I would ever have the balls to do it again. Thank goodness for me, I enjoyed every minute of it and might consider a different combination the next time.

So if you are considering expanding your sexual horizons, my advice would be to really get comfortable and talk. It can only lead to great things.

YEAR THREE Rachel Barker I always assumed I would get to the end of my three year degree and look around scoffing at my friends doing six year med degrees or four year courses in law or physiotherapy. However, now that I’m approaching this pinnacle, the impending doom of actual adulthood to come is really rather bearing down on me. By the end of this year I’ll be twenty one, I’ll be expected to have a job, to be able to spell correctly, to read bus timetables, to work a washing machine, to FUNCTION- and this, I fear, I am not quite capable of yet. Perhaps I never will be.

It is with longing and adulation that I look around at my friends who still have two, three, even four whole years ahead of them before they have to make such life changing decisions and be considered qualified adults. Sure, they hold the balance of life and death in their hands (seemingly a big deal) and are learning how to save lives and convict killers, while I attempt to understand Adobe After Effects and crouch in corners amidst camera cables broken down in tears, but at least they still get to claim the title of student! At least they can excusably sleep in until 12 and drink till three in the morning. Blackouts and lie-ins slip further from my clammy grasp day by day.

This might feel less frightening if I still had time post graduation. In my mind I always pictured finishing my degree, waving some sad slip of paper above my head in

front of a smiling crowd, and then returning to my home town for a few months of summer bliss before re-entering the adult world in Auckland. Recently though, I realised that I’ve had my last homebound summer for a long long while. When I finish my degree on a Friday I may have a job to begin on Monday. In November. And then I will work. For years and years, two weeks annual holiday, no endless months in strawberry fields reading Salinger and pretending to be a kid again. This prospect has me beyond terrified. See my blog for intrusive details of the last seven months of my life, but I feel like I just discovered something. Discovered some part of who I was that I am revving to explore, and now it’s been cut short by this petrifying realisation. I can’t drop everything and return to travelling or hang around in some plant-filled loft ‘creating’ with no ends. I will finish university, and begin a real job.

But how???

I suppose, I, like all of us, will just deal with it. You gotta do what you gotta do and you don’t want life to keep moving while you’re trying so hard to stand still, even if it seems easier to be seventeen 4ever. This doesn’t stop the fact that adulthood is swiftly gaining on us from being frightening, but in many ways it’s not really a matter of choice. I couldn’t feel younger and less prepared for this, but I’m gonna run with it. I think it might be time to let go of summer by the sea and see what the unknown has to offer.

THIRD YEARS One of the biggest problems we 20 somethings face is our own tendency to overthink.

Well, we’ve sorted that problem for you…Laurien’s mama teaches a whole slew of lil ‘uns, so she gathered a handful of three year olds, and asked them the questions we know you need answers to. In their untainted, uninhibited wisdom, we believe we’ve found the flawless advice you’ve been mindlessly searching for.

(We numbered them off because they wish to remain anonymous to avoid the paparazzi).

How do you/people make money?

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Cutie 1: Uhhh, uhhh, ummmm…people work.

C1: A princess.

Cutie 2: Money comes from a money book. A money page.

C2: The strongest man in the whole wide world.

Cutie 3: Chocolate uhhh painting…money painting.

C3: Princess.

Cutie 4: They make coins.

C4: I’d like to become a dinosaur.

Cutie 5: You catch coins and that’s how we make money.

C5: Like my dad.

What should you buy with money?

What’s the best food?

C1: Toys, books.

C1: An orange.

C2: Anything. Toys or Candy.

C2: Spaghetti.

C3: Toy train, uhhh baby toys.

C3: Rice.

C4: Buy cars.

C4: Rice.

C5: We buy food and carrots.

C5: Carrots.

Who knows the most in the world/who is the smartest in the world?

Why do people get angry/what makes you angry?

C1: Uhhhh, mmmm, I think it is…I don’t know.

C2: Because some people are naughty.

C2: A giant knows everything in the whole wide world and he doesn’t even stop doing that.

C3: Snake.

C3: A paper.

C4: Me and C1 C5: I am.

What makes you happy?

C1: I think my mum makes me happy.

C2: I’m not telling that answer.

C3: A toy, an apple.

C4: Toys make me happy.

C5: Toys What are you scared of?

C1: I’m scared of nothing.

C2: I’m scared of a spider – a blue one.

C3: Monsters.

C4: I’m scared of crocodiles C5: Monsters.

C1: When somebody hurts me.

C4: Because they’re dropping things.

C5: Because when someone punches them.

What should there be more of in the world?

C1: I think maybe cows.

C2: Houses, the ocean.

C3: Stickers.

C4: Play dough.

C5: Giants.

VOX POPS

BLADE

ESTHER

JOSH

What’s your third best talent?

I can make balloon animals

What three scoops of ice cream would you choose?

Tip Top Peaches and Cream for all three scoops

What’s your favorite trilogy?

Lord of the Rings

Describe the first week of uni in three words?

Pretty overwhelming, man

Describe the first week of uni in three words?

Tiring, I want to go home… that’s lots of words *laughs*

What’s your third best talent?

I can raise one eyebrow

What are your three favorite artists?

System of a Down, Eminem and Korn.

SPENCER

If you could have three wishes would you have?

My number one wish would be to be able to sing. Another wish – money, and a third wish would be for more wishes.

TASH

What are your top three beaches in Auckland?

Pt Chev, Piha and Bethells

What’s your favorite trilogy?

Fifty Shade of Grey

What advice would you give to yourself three years ago?

Everything is alright, you’ll get there in the end.

Don’t be so confused because you’re in high school, you know what you want to do. You got this.

What’s your favorite word that rhymes with three?

Free

Describe the first week of uni in three words?

Stressful as hell.

What advice would you give to yourself three years ago?

Actually listen in class and pay attention more

Where do you want to be in three years time?

I want to be working overseas. I don’t know where, but overseas somewhere.

WAIMANIA What advice would you give to yourself three years ago?

Get a bit more sussed with my technology Describe the first week of uni in three words?

Daunting, exciting, interesting What’s your favorite trilogy?

Star Wars

RULE OF THREE Sheetal Samy I have never noticed this before, but recently it was brought to my attention that the number three is embedded in us from a young age. If you don’t believe me, just think about it: Three Blind Mice, Three little Pigs, Goldilocks and The Three Bears, and The Three Wisemen. It is said we tend to remember stories or sayings that come in threes. Which is why we seem to remember sayings like “Blood, sweat and tears” or “Stop, look and listen” so effortlessly. Apparently this is called ‘The Rule of Three’. It is suggested that when things come in threes, they are inherently funnier, more effective or more satisfying than any other number of things. It is actually very unusual to find a folktale that does not incorporate The Rule of Three, and if you listen to political speeches both past and present you will hear it utilised often.

For example, Julius Caesar’s “I came, I saw, I conquered.”

create patterns in everyday life and in everything we do.

To be completely honest, I genuinely have never thought of the number three with such depth. However, this got me thinking, I wonder how many things we associate with the number three in our lives that we barely notice. Supposedly when we first venture into university all alone, we are more likely to make a friend group consisting of three people.

So that’s you plus two new friends, and we apparently do this without realising.

It is also said that an audience is more likely to consume and absorb any type of information presented to them when it is grouped into threes.

Before writing this piece on The Rule of Three, I never realised the power of the number three. I never realised how much significance it actually has in the world. The fact that we literally see everything in three dimensions, or that earth is the third planet from the sun, not to mention the fact that the number three has an enormous relevance in many religions. Overall, I feel that the number three is under appreciated and should be more appreciated, we should all be more aware of when we are using it because at the end of the day, all good things come in threes.

The number three is also associated with the fact that it is the lowest number used to form patterns in our minds - we naturally look for and

THIRD ONE’S THE

CHARM Amelia Petrovich I bloody like third albums.

I didn’t quite realize until I went to write this, but it seems like a great deal of the music I like features on somebody’s third album.

I mean, it makes total sense, right? First albums are interesting and all (everyone loves a breakthrough), but artists are only just beginning to produce a certain sound, let alone own and refine it. Second albums, much like film sequels I feel, are too often hastily produced bids to keep up cash flow.

Yes, third albums are where it’s at. Musicians come into their own with a third album. It could all go down hill from then on of course, but do we care? Not at all. We’re merely listeners, humble and plain, happy with a few banger tunes and enough discography knowledge to not embarrass ourselves at an indie party.

So without further ado, I’ll share with you my own humble and self-conscious feelings about a bunch of killer third albums. You’re welcome.

Pinkprint by Nicki Minaj (2014) There are some celebrities I really like and would pay a lot of money to do something really average with. Like, I would fork out so much cash to have a coffee with Jared Leto. I’d sell my cat for a chance to hang at the zoo with Ian McKellan. But for me, Nicki is a class all her own. She is way too good for me and basically everyone else on this earth and I would never, ever seek to take up any of her precious time with my plebian activities. She is absolutely my Queen, and I adore her. The Pinkprint features Nicki doing what she does best, embracing her own sexuality and making killer puns. This is the album that featured Anaconda, Feeling Myself and Only, meaning it’s as challenging to the status quo as it is catchy (I mean, Anaconda is literally about being so sexy and fantastic that it’d be a shame to share all that swag with just one guy). With lyrics like “I never fucked Wayne, I never fucked Drake/ on my life man, fuck’s sake/if I did I’d ménage with ‘em and let ‘em eat my ass like a cupcake” I guess you could say that shock value is definitely an important part of this specific album. But it’s good guys, it’s so damn good.

Wilder Mind by Mumford & Sons (2015) This was an interesting one for sure. It’s a very, very different sound to Sigh No More and Babel before it, and for that fact alone I wasn’t convinced that I could get into Wilder Mind. It really grew on me though, and all the signature Mumford poetry and energy is still present, just in a slightly more produced and possibly Coldplay-esque way… Sort of… or someone slightly more pop-y than vintage Mumford anyway. Wilder Mind is the first Mumford album produced by James Ford and Aaron Dessner (of The National fame) and saw the group swap their banjos and acoustic instruments for electric ones, probably just to mess with people and see what’d happen. What did happen was a really slick, different sounding album and a bunch of songs that sound really mint live in an arena full of a jillion people (yeah, I saw them last November, this is bragging. #sorrynotsorry).

Black Parade by My Chemical Romance (2006) Oh hell yes. I can’t begin to describe how stoked I was to find out that this too was a third album, because I feel like I’ve been waiting my whole life to gush about the part this played in my angsty emo past. After listening to Black Parade the whole way through, my mother remarked that Gerard and the boys reminded her “of Queen a hell of a lot” and I have to say I agree. In a lot of ways this album is very theatrical and off the wall, kicked off with a song called The End and the beeping of a heart monitor, just about all the songs flow into one another seemingly making the whole thing seem more like a huge musical act than a series of separate tracks. Pro tip about Black Parade also guys, it pays to keep listening after the last obvious song (Famous Last Words, deliciously meta) because after about one minute and thirty seconds of complete silence you’re gifted hidden track Blood, which is basically Gerard Way talk-singing about giving away a shitload of blood (possibly a metaphor for how we all like to watch suffering to an extent…maybe), with an eerie backup singer or two and carnival-like accompanying instruments. It’s weird as hell and I look forward to it every time. In short, this whole album is a gem. Viva la emo phase ladies and gentleman, this is good stuff.

Can’t Be Tamed by Miley Cyrus (2010) This one I’ve included not so much because I love it, but more because it proves my point about a third album showcasing an artist coming into themselves. The Can’t Be Tamed era was a sort of interesting one for Miley, as it was the beginning of her actively shirking her Disney-princess, southern belle persona in favor of batshit crazy and lots of tongue.

Despite being a little bit risqué though, Can’t Be Tamed actually wound up taking away a Teen’s Choice Award for best album back in 2010, meaning that this album was probably the last example of Miley Cyrus being a widely accepted role model for young girls. Don’t get me wrong though, I kind of almost respect the change Miley made here with Can’t Be Tamed, because if nothing else, it’s a damn good example of how to reinvent yourself and make a shitload of money. She presented herself as America’s darling for a time, but I guess the States had a lot of those, so from 2010 on she opted for drugged up and mental with a tonne of glitter. That’s a career move I can get behind.

Dookie by Green Day (1994) Oh hey look! It’s that Green Day album that everyone seems to think was their first because they’re all twats and never listened to 1,039/Smoothed Out Slappy Hours… or was it 39/Smooth in 1990? Or Slappy in 1990 too? Hold on, Slappy was just an EP… was Dookie even their third album? I hope so, it’s hard to understand just what the hell old school Green Day were even up to, but I do know that Dookie is a super good and pretty endearing album. The whole thing is very “we put together a pop punk band in our Mom’s basement because school totally blows”, but that’s why I love it so damn much. It’s a very 90s sounding album and I know that because I was born that year and therefore absorbed Green Day and their broody, stoner sound into my very soul.

It’s a “90s Kid” thing, we all have a profound understanding of the whole era and experience intense nostalgia for the golden, grungy days of music despite spending the majority of the decade furthering our own education, by learning to eat solids and pee in a real toilet and stuff.

Why Frodo Baggins is Luggage Conor Leathley My favourite trilogy of all time is Lord of The Rings. It is almost total film perfection. Almost. There is one thing that does prevent it from being perfect. Unfortunately, that is the lead character, Frodo Baggins. Don’t get me wrong, Elijah Wood did a fantastic job playing him. It’s more about what he does. He is, to put it bluntly, luggage. He causes a lot of unnecessary problems and is basically a detriment to whatever group he is involved with.

Yet, he is given the most important part of the film. The little Hobbit who could, Frodo is the one who undertakes the onerous task of carrying the ‘One Ring’, to destroy it in the fiery pit of Mt. Doom from whence it came. Overcoming all odds, the Ring is eventually destroyed (spoiler alert) and then Frodo literally sails off into the sunset to Elf Heaven.

What if Strider/Aragorn had been really tired from his bender weekend and decided not to go to the tavern that night? All of the Hobbits would have been killed that night by the Black Riders.

Worst story ever.

Why is he afforded that honour? If left to his own devices, wee Baggins would have met a quick death. Even when he was with the fellowship, he still almost died. Not only that, but he generally put his friends in clear and present danger. One of the most obvious examples is early on in the first film, when the four Hobbits are in a tavern in Bree. In one of the more famous shots in the film, Frodo slips and falls onto his back, with the Ring flying into the air above him. Instead of catching it in his palm, he acts like a desperate girlfriend and catches it on his finger, thus alerting the Dark Lord Sauron to his whereabouts.

In the film it ultimately had no consequence, as they were saved

by Strider. What if Strider/Aragorn had been really tired from his bender weekend and decided not to go to the tavern that night?

All of the Hobbits would have been killed that night by the Black Riders. Worst story ever. Or in the second film, when he ran from his cover in the city of Osgiliath and basically spread his legs, begging the Nazgul to take him right there and then. Had it not been for a last second intervention by his bud, Samwise Gamgee, the third film would have started with Sauron having the One Ring back in his possession.

It is in that act that we see the true hero of these films, Sam. Inexplicably given the boot in the third film by Frodo (halfway up the most vertical climb ever!), it is then that he is finally given a chance to shine. Within about five minutes of Sam’s departure, Frodo (naturally) gets attacked by the giant spider, Shelob, who binds him in a web in preparation to be eaten. Bad choice by her, as Superman Sam swoops in and manages to defeat one of the most feared creatures in Middle Earth.

As he decided to play the game on insane mode, Sam lets a groups of Orcs and Uruk-hai take Frodo captive to their local stronghold of Cirith Ungol. Once he is sure that Frodo is in the most danger, Sam storms the castle, wielding two swords like Deadpool-cum-Tyrion fever dream, slaying every foe in his path and causing absolute anarchy. Moments before the fiendish Orc Gorbag can bleed Frodo like a stuck pig, Sam saves the day, all while dropping some dope smack talk. He also willingly gives the Ring back to Frodo, the only being in Middle-Earth who showed the willpower to do this.

What a hero and a gentleman. But what does he get for his feats?

Frodo gives him the Jorah Mormont of gifts, a book. Sure he gets the girl, but she, Rosie, is basically a plot device so that the audience doesn’t think that Frodo and Sam are ‘more than friends’.

But Frodo sails off into the sunset to the Grey Havens, whilst Sam is stuck with PTSD in the Shire. Frodo didn’t even really destroy the Ring, he more attacked Gollum, who fell over the cliff in an attempt to get it back. You’re a great friend Frodo.

If I still haven’t convinced you about Frodo, I have one final arrow in my quiver that should prove to you why he is indeed a luggage character. Sam literally carries him up Mt. Doom. *Mike drop

Earlier this week, the first round of TPP talks, post signing the agreement, were interrupted by a group of four clowns.

Now business officials and politicians have come forward to say that they have abandoned their previous convictions and no longer support the TPP.

Literal Clowns Somehow Make Compelling Argument Against TPP Kieran Bennett

On the 7th of March, an information conference was held, intending to inform people of the details of the TPP. The conference was interrupted however by a group of four people who, as the conference progressed, slowly dressed as clowns. They then began to make rude noises, pop balloons, yell loudly and generally disrupt the proceedings; before piling into a tiny car and driving away.

At the time many attendees and hosts felt the clowns were overly disruptive and demanded for their removal.

However now, several days later, many prominent business figures are coming forward to say that the clowns and their antics have really swayed them.

One Auckland business owner, Peter Franklin, said to reporters that he was driven to intense thought by the nuanced way the clowns screamed and shot soda water down their pants.

“To begin with, I was for this free trade idea. But now that I’ve seen a grown man strike another in the testicles with a shaving cream pie, I think I’ll reconsider”. Many other business owners have expressed similar thoughts, finding themselves reconsidering upon seeing a large balloon animal shaped like a dog.

One supporter, in fact, was reported as leaving just after the clowns, pinning a water-squirting flower to his chest whilst also denouncing the evils of capitalism.

Prime Minister John Key has also been mildly swayed by the clowns, saying that they presented a subtle, well thought out and compelling argument that both delighted and entertained.

American Presidential Race Forgone Conclusion two political parties, Democrats or Republicans, contesting for their parties support. However, despite months remaining in the competition and strong candidates either side, many feel there is no real point in continuing.

Kieran Bennett Following some fierce battling over the last few weeks, it has become apparent that the American Presidential race is a forgone conclusion, with the nation’s media and political experts already ‘packing it in’.

The American political process involves multiple candidates from one of

Speaking on the CNN’s sixth breaking news bulletin of the day, political pundit Mark Fitzgerald said “we may have been wrong in nearly every prediction we’ve made so far, including the previous election, but I don’t see any reason why we can’t just call this whole thing early right now”. He then went on to say that in his view, and in the view of many Americans, the best option is to always assume and make wild guesses.

A sentiment that was roundly applauded on the show.

Front runners Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton have expressed confusion over the media’s announcement, both

unaware that there were even any other candidates. Speaking from a dais supported by a hundred dead Mexicans, Trump said to his supporters “I don’t even think this Hillary is real, let’s be honest, I’m going around the country as a favour. It’s a favour.” Clinton also addressed her supporters, saying that she could not, would not, and has not ever engaged in something like a presidential candidate race and that any video evidence to the contrary was clearly Republican lies.

It is expected that the now useless formality of the candidacy race will conclude in June with conditions in the race expected to remain exactly the same for the next three months.

Other candidates were not available for comment due to the fact that they simply don’t exist.

Five Tips for Sustainable Living Back to Uni edition Brought to you by Sustainable Aoetearoa •

Embarking on a stationary haul? It can often be a plastic intensive affair.

Look for the brands that use recycled materials like My Mojo and invest in durable, refillable pens - worth it in the long run!

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We know it’s tempting to start fresh... but use up what you’ve got (notebooks and stationary wise). Just rip out last years work - a surprisingly satisfying experience. - and put the no-longer-needed paper in the recycling of course.

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On that note, be sure to acquaint yourself with the paper recycling bins in WA by all printing stations.

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Commit to double-sided printing this year and give the booklet layout a go. It’s all about using products and resources to their maximum efficiency.

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Procrastinating and haven’t brought that textbook yet? Go to AUT TEXTBOOK TRADE on Facebook and buy second hand. Less strain on resources and your bank account!

Does Power Trump Ethics?

Rhianna Osbourne We all have our opinions on legislation and prominent politicians in the public eye. Regardless if the campaign is local or international, it will capture the public’s attention because politics is power.

However, there is one campaign taking place as we speak that really has me concerned. Well, in actual fact, its one particular person; The Trumpster.

This man is living in the dark ages! He has been quoted as saying, “I will build a great wall – and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me... and I will make Mexico pay for that wall. Mark my words.” Yikes! Racist much?

The fact that Donald Trump even qualified as a viable candidate is beyond me, let alone the fact that he has the backing of so many.

What has become of society? Trump has rallied thousands in support of his archaic ideologies despite them resembling those of Hitler’s. It seems as if Americans have lost sight of their ethics and have instead been brainwashed by the power of change that Trump has promised.

All we can do is hope that this carroty man sporting a horrific toupee is defeated and that a candidate who will bring about positive change is elected.

The T h r e e ’s o f Fash io n

by Shivan Last week I was invited to attend the Fashion Sessions held in Britomart, which kicked off the 10 days of Fashion held in Auckland. The first three days of the Fashion Sessions invited the most well-known New Zealand designers to kick-off the shows, starting with Kate Sylvester. She brought various textiles and patterns into her designs and played with the humble stripes and lines to bring beautiful patterns down the runway. Then, to build to the climax, Zambesi incorporated unique textures into its designs.

From bombers to jackets, Zambesi played with the textures and the fabric to bring a 3D effect to its collection. Mixing colours into its 3D bomber jacket especially, made for an eye catching print in the perfect light. To close of the show, designer brand, WORLD, brought a splash of colour to the runway. With its makeup and bold coloured looks, they were not afraid to stand out.

I’m a big believer in the power of three, from the superstitious saying that everything good and everything bad in your life comes in three’s, to the way I dress or style.

Step 1: Colour The colour we wear says a lot about who we are as a person, or how we are feeling at that time. For example, I usually dress in shades of blue and grey, I reckon it represents me well as a person. Usually I’m known for my non-expressive peaceful demeanour (which could sometimes pass as my resting bitchy face). What does your colour say about you?

Grey: Causes indifference, non-expressiveness, sometimes apathetic.

Black: Symbolizes extremes, all or nothing.

Gold: Symbolizes authority, self-confidence, creativity, perfection.

Photography | Shivan (www.gathum.co.nz)

Silver: Inspires emotional stability, removes or neutralizes negativity.

Copper/Bronze: Symbolizes love and passion.

Red: Stimulates energy, warmth and healing.

Orange: Stimulates new possibilities, creativity and enthusiasm.

Yellow: Awakens mental inspiration and energizes your muscles. (Remember, your heart is a muscle!)

Green: Inspires balance and harmony, soothes both the mind and body.

Blue: Soothes and cools.

Purple: Colours of transformation, soothing mental and emotional stress.

White: White is the combination of all colours. It signifies perfection, balance and harmony.

Pink: Restores youthfulness, inspires genuine contact to your true feelings.

Brown: Represents solidity and grounding, natural and simple.

Step 2: Textiles It’s important to play with different prints and patterns to help enhance your look from day time to evening. It’s always important to invest in key statement pieces whether they are coats, bomber jackets or pants with textiles to bring your look to the next level.

Step 3: Textures Layering, Layering, LAYERING! Playing with textures of fabrics can be fun and dangerous at the same time; I always see layering as a fine balance, as it can look overdone very quickly. It’s important to leave layering till the end; I suggest layering with similar shades of colours to really bring cohesion to your look.

REVIEWS

J O N TO OGOOD Live at AUSM O’Week 2016 | Vesbar Reviewed by Tharindu Jayasinghe

“Are you the singer of the Foo Fighters bro?”

“Oh nah bro,” Jon Toogood answers to a man in the midst of his acoustic set. He might as well be playing in the man’s living room as they continue a friendly back and forth rapport in between songs, with only a small gathering of people hovering inside the makeshift tent at Hikuwai Plaza to bear witness. It’s not the typical arena-rock crowd that descends on gigs headlined by his band and much-adored Shihad. However, immediately upon entrance, Jon singles out a sweet couple that had driven up from Taupo (who also had to drive back to start work at 6AM on the next day) to see him play. So there is genuine fandom about, but like the occasion, it is modest yet incredibly powerful.

He starts off with Everyday I Wake Up, a song he wrote with Julia Deans and goes on to play Shihad/Pacifier classics such as Missionary, Brightest Star and Run. Serenading song after song only to share anecdotes and opinion in between, you can tell Toogood is

an experienced campaigner. He had already toured much of NZ and Oz solo last year, on his Planet of Sound, Live and Acoustic Tour.

There’s a stirring rendition of Wilco’s Misunderstood which, by the end, has detuned his guitar completely. Things get more interesting as he plays Kiwi classics such as I Got You by The Split Enz and Bliss by Th’ Dudes – a song he confesses he doesn’t know the words of the bridge to and confirms neither did Peter Urlich (former member of Th’Dudes) when he rang to enquire. Toogood is playing with such intensity now that he breaks a guitar string mid-song, evoking YouTube memories of Eddie Vedder playing his heart out during David Letterman’s farewell show.

Then it’s on to a few tribute numbers in memory of the late David Bowie whose passing, Toogood recalls, was like the passing of a family member. He plays stunning versions of Ziggy Stardust and Suffragette City back-to-back.

He proceeds to play Ace of Spades and plays it in “true Lemmy-style” by getting up off his stool and raising the mic comfortably above his eye-level, which proves to be an accurate and laughter-inducing impersonation.

There’s also a charged acoustic version of Shihad’s Think You’re So Free which he credits John Key and Tony Abbot for providing him the inspiration.

At this point in the show, Tiki Taane hasn’t even started his set yet, but the crowd is rapturous and in hearty spirits. He’s running out of time, so takes a poll on the last song.

It’s either an Australian Crawl song or an AC/ DC song, but like a true champion, he plays both Reckless and It’s A Long Way To the Top (If You Wanna Rock N’ Roll).

Few may have seen the performance, but it was spirited to say the least. Jon Toogood with an acoustic guitar and his voice.

EL A CUIS IN E 39 Elliot Street Reviewed by Laurien Barks

Ela Cuisine’s lunch menu is the perfect mix of fancy, affordable, and tasty. Tucked against the back wall opposite the entrance, this delightful fusion of Indian-Mediterranean cuisine rocks my world on the weekly. Perfect for a treat yo’self lunch, my personal favourite dish is their $12 grilled fish. It’s light, flavourful, satisfies the curry cravings without the ‘no regrets’ bloat, and is seriously just an all-round great time. Their customer service is fabulous, they always take care of me with a big ol’ smile on their face, and their mango lassis are the perfect way to chase down a spice-filled dish.

I really have no complaints about this place. They’re a newly discovered love, but one I’m ready to grow old with.

“I’ve been doing this for 32 years…I can do whatever the fuck I want” she cried. With one private jet, 180 entourage, over eight costume changes, topless dancers, and at 58 years old, she was notably exhausted. I could not help but leave the building wanting more – not quite satisfied. And this was despite the sex act with a banana whilst pashing a Fijian back up dancer, calling for security, then asking him if his dick was hard…

That being said, she had much weighing on her. With a lot on her mind (re: her son Rocco and a bitter custody battle with Richie), I could not help but feel touched by her dedicated French acoustic version of La Vie en Rose to Rocco. Maddy stated the ‘mother-son relationship’ was the strongest as she wept, praying he would hear this wherever he was, and that she still missed him.

The guys on stilts that swung into the audience like circus stars were a uniquely amazing and sophisticated set up. One like I have never seen. She got down with our native lingo and engaged a lot with her audience. Madonna still appeared to limp around the stage whilst singing Like a Virgin, as if struggling internally – which we learned later she was.

I wish I’d seen you in your heyday, Madonna Louise Ciccone. As you declared to us, yourself, on stage, you did have a lot on your mind. You may like to smoke, but you still light fires. Love your work, you truly touched me for the very first and last time – a true once in a life time concert.

MAD ON N A REBEL HEART TOUR Vector Arena Reviewed by Hayley Stevenson

Lost property at AUT

team located in WO2. You’ll need to supply a reasonable description of the item or a serial number or the name engraved etc. on the item. For unclaimed lost property AUT deals with it in the following ways:

Students are advised that if they find any lost property it can be reported and/or taken to the reception desk in WG (next to Newsfeed Café) or to the security office situated in WO2 on Wakefield St. If you’ve lost something and would like to see if it has been found and handed in then please check with the security

- Valuable items like laptops, phones, jewellery are taken to the Auckland Police Station. Eventually they are disposed of via a public auction process.

- Clothing, towels etc. are given to local charities

If you can’t get to one of the above lost property locations you can report it to AUT Security by phoning (09) 921 9997.

Lara Posa Communications Manager- Estates 021 441 684

RECIPEs

Teq u ila S u n r i s e

M o zz a rel l a sti c k s

• 1 ½ parts tequila

• String Cheese

Pea nu tty -na na S mo o t hi e

• ½ part grenadine

• 1 egg

• 1 cup milk

• Orange juice (however much you like!)

• Egg roll wrappers

• 1 tbsp peanut butter

Served on the rocks in a water glass.

• ½ frozen banana Bundle each cheese stick in an egg roll wrapper. Brush with eggwash and deep fry until golden brown.

Blend it all together!

Hom e-M a d e

Lemo na d e

Tur tl e

L em o n a d e

S co nes

Pre tz els

• 1 cup granulated sugar

• 4 cups self-raising flour

• 1 bag of pretzels

• 1 cup water

• 300ml lemonade

• 1 package of Rolos

• 1 cup lemon juice

• 300ml cream

• 1 package of pecan halves

In a small sauce pan, heat the sugar and water until sugar is dissolved. Allow to cool in the pan. Squeeze the lemons until you have 1 cup of juice, and pour the juice into a large pitcher. Add the cooled sugar water and combine it with 3 -4 cups of extra water depending on desired strength.

Chill before serving.

Preheat oven to 220C and line baking tray. Pour cream and lemonade into the flour and mix together to form a soft dough.

Turn the dough onto a wellfloured bench, dust with flour, and gently roll into a rectangle.

Cut approximately 12 pieces and lift each onto the tray. Bake for 10-12 minutes or until golden brown.

Preheat oven to 180C. Lay pretzels on parchment paper, place a Rolo on top. Bake 3-5 minutes. Remove and press pecan on top of Rolo.

SU DOK U

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