THE STATEMENT "I FOUND GOD CHALLENGING ME TO BE MORE OPEN WITH MY STRUGGLES OF INSECURITY TO A WIDER AUDIENCE, BE MORE HONEST WITH MYSELF ABOUT HOW MUCH I WAS HURTING MY FATHER BECAUSE I WASN’T LIVING INTO THE PERSON HE MADE ME TO BE" W O R D S B Y A N N P I T T S
My most recent spiritual battle was one full of insecurity in my looks, which spread to feeling insecure into many other areas of my life. I was spinning into a pit of selfloathing and depression. I was striving to be someone I wasn’t because I was so insecure about who I was. I quickly learned the lesson that God cannot bless who you’re pretending to be, only who you really are. I found God challenging me to be more open with my struggles of insecurity to a wider audience, be more honest with myself about how much I was hurting my Father because I wasn’t living into the person he made me to be, and not resisting the change he wanted to cultivate in my heart. I started with the simple change of not wearing makeup and picking out outfits that I found stylish, not what Instagram was showing me was socially elevating. I started praying for my heart to leave jealousy behind and love the women I compared myself to. I started to be more vulnerable with my social platform and opened up to the world about my struggles with anxiety and what an abusive past had done to my selfimage. The effects of this heart change were much larger than I imagined. I wanted other women to experience beauty and confidence that came from the Father like I was experiencing. This lead to me taking photos of my friends just for fun, and I would get responses such as: “I love how I look in these because you let me be myself”.