MYD: You mentioned that in the kind of work you are doing, you are giving of yourself and not often filling your own cup. How important is it to fill your own cup? TS: I think it’s paramount. If you are completely empty, it’s very difficult to remain positive and to remain optimistic and to give as much as you need to. I think it’s of utmost importance to take care of ourselves mentally and emotionally. MYD: Absolutely, but it’s something we don’t always think about or do. We usually want to make sure that everybody else is okay. TS: It’s interesting looking at it from a gender perspective. As women, we give a lot emotionally, we support a lot. I think it’s a little bit easier for us to ask for help as well. I’ve seen that for Namibian men, it’s very difficult to get emotional and mental support, and I think it’s definitely something that we should shine a light on. I think it’s tough for Namibian men. I think there is a lot of expectation, and not a lot of time has been spent giving Namibian men the tools for adapting to the modern Namibia, with highly educated, working women. Those things are so important. We need to bring everybody along. Where there is misunderstanding, there is frustration; there is a lack of an ability to cope. MYD: And it creates so many other problems. TS: Yes, and I think that’s a cause of some of the violence we’re seeing in our communities, this feeling of powerlessness. I think that it would be great if more men could feel able to access mental and emotional health services, and if it was more socially acceptable for men to be empathetic and to express emotions in different ways. MYD: Tuli, how can we all let go of negativity and really embrace the beauty in ourselves? TS: I think the first thing to do is to be really practical about taking care of ourselves and giving to ourselves. I would advise making a list, writing down the things that make you feel good, with a mixture of things that cost nothing and things that you are willing to invest in. Life can be incredibly difficult, but it’s finding these little ways to invest in myself that has lifted me up and kept me going through these times. MYD: That’s so beautiful because, as you mentioned, this doesn’t have to cost anything. Even just saying nice words to yourself is investing in yourself. TS: Absolutely, and I also can’t push physical activity enough. Doing a dance class or going for a walk, it releases endorphins, it breaks the routine of your day, your body sings. We are not meant to be sedentary beings – we are hunter-gatherers, and we are very physical people. Our bodies carry so much memory. They carry the memory of trauma, they carry the memory of positive things as well.
“We need to bring everybody along. Where there is misunderstanding, there is frustration; there is a lack of an ability to cope.” 69