ADVICE

The circle of life is such that your parents forget, often with some relief, what it is like to be a teenager dealing with the stressful challenges of a changing body, academic expectations and social interactions. And these days we have a pandemic, school closures and photoshop to add to the mix!

But the reality is that long-term, unchecked stress can lead to the greater challenges of anxiety, depression and negative behavioural choices, and you and your parents – and your friends – need to know how to spot this before it becomes a problem...

✪ Teenagers are complex, over-thinkers by nature. It isn’t surprising then, that what may seem to your parents to be a minor challenge, could actually be a cause of debilitating stress for you. ✪ Negative body image and self-image – social media can be fun, even helpful, but the unrealistic (and often fake) portrayal of people’s lives and bodies can be super harmful. ✪ School pressures – these can be social such as bullying, pressure to do certain things or behave and think a certain way; or academic such as feeling you have to slay at matric exams or your life is over! ✪ Making mistakes (including poor behaviour choices) and the fear of failure and new experiences can paralyse you and cause procrastination. ✪ Financial or personal worries stemming from family issues – a parent losing a job, parents getting divorced, emotional or verbal abuse, sibling rivalry.

✪ Sleeping too much or too little ✪ Experiencing panic attacks ✪ Acting aggressively or withdrawing from activities you once enjoyed ✪ Fatiguethataffectsnormalactivities ✪ Eating way too much or way too little (out-of-character eating patterns) ✪ Regular mood swings, crying and angry episodes

✪ Non-judgemental communication is key!

Really listen to understand them, to supportandhelpthemfindpositive solutions. Challenges are a part of teenage life and can’t be avoided, just make sure they know you are the go-to person they can count on. ✪ Encourage them to exercise regularly and to make healthy food choices. Nothing beatshavingahealthy,fitbodywhen the pressure is on. ✪ Get them in touch with emotional intelligence skills, or better yet, research it together: self-awareness, self-regulation, self-motivation, empathy and social skills are essential in developing positive body-

and self-image. It will also help them navigate the complications that crop up in relationships. ✪ Know that mistakes are inevitable.

Speak of mistakes being learning opportunitiesandhelpthemtofind positive solutions. ✪ Discuss perspectives. It is essential to understand that everyone is coming from their own perspective and that, so often, upsetting encounters with others are as a result of their experiences and perspectives of life in that moment.

Remember, if you have not caused the negativeencounter,itisnotyourstuff!

✪ If you are having suicidal thoughts ✪ If the symptoms of stress are not subsiding or if they are getting worse ✪ If you are dealing with your stress by carrying out dangerous, negative behaviours like cutting, drinking or taking drugs, having unwanted or unprotected sex, stealing.

Stress can be a double-edged sword. It can motivate us to positive action, but it can also result in potentially serious emotional and physical challenges, if it becomes longterm and excessive. Keep an eye out for the latterandfindwaystohelpeasetheeffects of negative stress on yourself, your teens and your friends. PM

Face masks have become a part of everyday life, and like people, they come in a variety of shapes and sizes. And, although I haven’t read the headline in a fashion magazine yet, I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before we fi nd out that, Your

Mask Says More About You Than You Think. My personal favourite, from a spectator’s point of view, is what I like to call the Sideways Duck: a covering with a seam running vertically down the middle making its wearer look like a duck with its beak turned ninety degrees. “Adventurous,” might be the description you’ll see in Vogue magazine, or something along the lines of “the new left-ofcentre”. I like to think the Sideways Duck wearers are people with a sense of humour able to laugh at themselves in the mirror even in these times of uncertainty. The mask I wear is the same one you saw your dentist wear the last time you visited them: a light-blue number with white elastics and a concertina-type folding pattern. The specifi c blue doesn’t go with any of the earthy (read bland) winter-tones of my wardrobe, which surely would not go unnoticed by the fashion experts. “Mismatch much?” they might ask, or, worse yet, “Vaccinated or not, some people should simply never come out ever again.” A growing trend I see in shopping malls and on the streets is to have some sort of a smile printed on your mask. As with the Sideways Duck, entertainment seems to be the focus here. “Keep the sunny side up,” these mavericks seem to say, regardless of whether you’re shopping, taking out the trash or living through a once-in-a-century pandemic. The model with a purpose-built valve is a curious choice. In this case, maintaining air quality reigns supreme, surpassing looking good by a long way. Not to stereotype, but I think, should someone do a survey, these mask wearers will reveal themselves to be by and large people who work in IT or, perhaps more accurately, gamers. These citizens take their well-being and around-the-clock comfort very seriously. When it comes to masks, they seem to say, playtime is over. And then there are the corner-cutters. The ones who tie a scarf or a cloth around their heads and call that a mask. (I’d like to add here that grabbing a mask you once used while spray-painting a bookshelf from the garage is not doing the best you can. It’s not what one would call, What the doctor ordered, and most certainly is not designed to protect you against a biological threat. Walk past the hardware store for once, Tim the Toolman, and head for the pharmacy.) Only once did I use everyday fabric to protect myself against Covid, covering my face, I’m ashamed to admit, with my T-shirt. It wasn’t my proudest moment doing what people do when someone in the room has passed wind and I hope I never have to do it again. The judgement I felt rushing in and out of that shop to buy a book was intense. I didn’t even make eye contact with the bookseller. I just walked out and then basically ran back to my car. Fashion changes as the seasons do, telling us that this autumn something called “new utility” is in only to be replaced by “nautical” when the weather hots up. It’s been going on for decades as some styles come and go and others remain timeless. Luckily, the Covid pandemic is not timeless. We all know it will pass in time and we can all go back to walking around with our faces uncovered breathing in fresh air like nature intended. Until then, we have to keep on wearing a part of our personalities on our heads like upside-down sneakers and let the world in, if only a little, on what’s going on inside those heads. So, whether you’re wearing the latest Gucci mask or a garment from the Crazy Store, don it with pride and purpose and compassion, but, above all, don’t leave home without it. PM

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