Issue 3 • 2013
ONECHILD ONEHOUR ONECHURCH ONESCHOOL
“It’s not how much we give but how much love we put into giving.” – Mother Teresa
The gift of giving The fragrance of cinnamon, cloves, apple and turkey waft from the kitchen, while under the Christmas tree, the baby is chewing the wrapping paper off a brightly wrapped present. This scene is probably familiar to many of us, as year by year we come together to celebrate the birth of our Saviour. The sounds of wrapping paper being ripped, and the excited squeals of children, are sometimes followed by tears, or a pouty “Is this all we got?” And as adults we are left wondering, “Why do our children appear so ungrateful?” The truth is that our children are immersed in a society which so often emphasises the “getting” and not the “giving” of Christmas. How do we move our kids from a sense of entitlement and expectation of getting gifts galore, to an attitude of wanting to give to others in need? To put it plainly, how do we instil the gift of giving in our children? Dr Marie Hartwell-Walker, a psychologist and marriage and family therapist, writes about the benefits of helping our children think about giving, and not only receiving: “Alfred Adler, an early 20th-century psychologist, believed that good mental health is a consequence of our ‘social interest,’ our concern for our fellow human-beings. People whose focus is on helping others, not just getting for themselves, are people who
are happiest and most fulfilled. People who are generous and thoughtful of others are less anxious, less depressed, and feel more connected with their community ... By teaching our children the joy of giving, not just receiving, we show them how to be mentally healthy and how to live well with others. Like most values, social interest isn’t something we can just assume children will understand. Teaching them that making a gift is an act of thoughtfulness, not just something to get out of the way, takes time and patience. Modeling, coaching, and actively involving our kids in the art of giving instils the habit. It’s important to teach that making a gift is not about going to the local dollar store and throwing stuff in a basket. It’s about thinking hard about what the receiver might like and matching a gift to his or her interests and tastes. It’s important to show our children that the amount of money spent is nowhere near as important as the amount of thought. It’s important to talk about the fact that the gifts that are most appreciated are those that are most personal. And it’s important to show them that sometimes time, not stuff, is the perfect way to say ‘I love you.’” http://psychcentral.com/lib/the-gift-of-giving/0001540
Happy Christmas everyone!
Sharing Christmas traditions
Smith family Christmas With four children, Christmas is a busy and often hectic time in the Smith household. We have Rebecca (21), Stephanie (19), Thomas (14) and our special surprise gift Jacob (1), so Christmas is never boring. The biggest thing we have tried to instil into our kids is the gift of giving, not just receiving. We introduced a budget that we allocated for each child and the other kids got together to buy a gift for that one child. It helped them to think of others first, rather than thinking of what they wanted for themselves. It certainly created a much more generous attitude and caring environment leading up to and including Christmas Day. Tim Smith
“It is not even the beginning of Christmas unless it is Christmas in the heart.” – Richard Roberts
“I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.” – Charles Dickens, “A Christmas Carol”
Giving and receiving: KIDS HOPE AUS. team members share their traditions A “left/right” Christmas Like most large, extended families, we’ve tried many different approaches to Christmas gift giving over the years. Sometimes we’ve bought a present for the person whose name we’ve drawn out of the hat, while on other occasions we’ve tried couples buying for couples. “Festive Farmers” saw us buying a goat or a chicken from World Vision on behalf of someone, while Kriskindl and Secret Santa kept the mystery of the giver to the last minute. But one approach that has been very popular is the “left/right” game. It’s pure fun! In the left/right game, each person places a generic gift to the value of $15 under the Christmas tree, and as their name is drawn out of the hat, they can choose a gift ... but the gift must remain unopened. Once everyone has selected a gift from under the tree, a story about Christmas is then read aloud. Every time the word “left” or “right” is said in the story, the presents are passed to the left or to the right around the circle. At the end of the story, you keep whichever present you are holding in your hand. (There are plenty of “left/right” Christmas stories on the Internet.) Wendy Jarrott-Smith
The Lewis family decoration-giving tradition Since our first married Christmas together, Rowan and I have exchanged a Christmas decoration to each other that summarises our year (of course, this tradition has now extended to our children also). The decoration often isn’t a traditional ornament, but may be a symbol of something that has happened through the year. For example, one of the years that we were living in Canada, I gave Rowan a matchbox car in the form of a Combie van, complete with a Canadian flag on its roof (our actual Combie van was orange and didn’t really have such Canadian patriotism tattooed on it!). Or similarly, when we resided in Austria, I was given a chocolate coin embossed with the image of the castle in which we were living. Each Christmas our tree decorating ritual is filled with stories of “remember when...” as everyone pulls out their decorations and we commemorate the year in which it was gifted. Kirra Lewis
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“Christmas is the day that holds all time together.” – Alexander Smith
KIDS search-institute.org HOPE AUS., World Vision Australia (L-R): Wendy Jarrott-Smith, Kirra Lewis, Gabrielle Mahony, Marylin Leermakers, Tim Smith, Gabby Shaw and Helen Gribi. Photo: Lucy Aulich/World Vision
A Swiss-Australian Christmas! At the start of December we make an Advent wreath with four candles that sits in the centre of the dining room table. The first candle is lit on the first Sunday of December, and so on. Frank’s sister sends an Advent calendar from Switzerland to the girls. One year she painted and numbered 24 tiny buckets and placed a wrapped gift in each, and every day the girls loved to see what was in each bucket. Our “Christmas blackboard” counts down the days until Christmas. These little traditions are fun, and fill the house with expectation. It’s traditional in Switzerland to celebrate on Christmas Eve, so on 24 December we always cook the meal that Frank’s mum prepared when he was a child – Beef Wellington: beef fillet, wrapped in prosciutto, dried fruit and filo pastry, served with creamy mashed potato and vegies – YUM! I like to get really stuck in to the Christmas cooking and make the boiled pudding a few months prior to Christmas. I love seeing it hang in the laundry waiting to be eaten! I prepare a baked Christmas ham full of yummy flavours the week prior to Christmas. The girls and I also bake a Christmas cake each year, and after our Christmas meal we sing “Happy Birthday” to Jesus. The girls open their gifts from Grosi and Grosspapi (their Swiss grandma and grandad) on Christmas Eve. When he was a child, my husband’s family would all gather around the fire and sing Christmas carols, so in Australia, the stereo is on and we all sing along under the air-conditioner! On Christmas Day the kids wake us, and they unpack the gifts Santa has left. The turkey goes in the oven and we head to church. When we get back, family gifts are unwrapped and extended family and friends start to arrive and the rest of the traditional roast meal is cooked.
Christmas with the Mahonys – rich with company Christmas as a child, adolescent and young adult was always shared with my parents, seven siblings, their partners and 20 or so of our children! We would gather around a big roast which my mother had slaved over for hours! She loved pork crackling! Today, we get together on Boxing Day one year, and Christmas Day the alternate year, allowing each of us to spend Christmas Day with our own children and in-laws. Each year it’s a BYO feast of goodies and plenty of cheer! We no longer buy presents for each other as we did in earlier years; good company on the day is the best gift we could offer. This Christmas we will remember our recently departed mother and her many Christmas lunches offered with love. Gabrielle Mahony
A Yarra Valley Christmas My husband, son and I love to spend Christmas Day at my cousin’s property out in the Yarra Valley. We all have lunch on the veranda, which overlooks the nearby hills. A relaxing and refreshing Christmas! Gabby Shaw
Christmas at my house Several years ago we decided as a family that Christmas was a time for sharing gifts, not only with the children in our own family, but with children in other parts of the world as well.
These are some of the traditions of our family.
Since then each of my grandchildren takes great delight in finding a special envelope in which they discover that a gift has been made in their name to a family/community in the developing world. The first time we did this, my youngest grandson kept wondering where the ducks actually were and how we were going to take them across to Africa!
Helen Gribi
Marylin Leermakers 3
Giving and receiving activities for mentors
Some great ideas for thoughtful, inexpensive gifts http://www.pinterest.com/ AustinTreasure/givingis-better-than-receivingchristmas/ This online pin board will give you loads of inspiration for thoughtful gifts to share with friends and family. http://froggooseandbear. blogspot.com.au/ This delightful blog shows you how to make gorgeous homemade Christmas gifts, including a gift card inside a snow globe; cocoa in a jar, or better yet, Christmas-themed cocoa in a jar; and Christmas cookies in a jar. There is also a whole list of fun craft ideas – simply scroll down to the Christmas section to get your creative Christmas started!
The great joy of Christmas is not only the wonder of nativity, but the opportunity to practise generosity.
Teaching children about giving gifts • Begin asking, “What are you giving for Christmas?” It may seem strange and unnatural at first, but what a great thought to sow in little minds! • Encourage children to make their own gifts for others. • Ask children to think about the people they want to buy for – what they like or need. Take them shopping to buy the gifts. With only a few dollars and the run of the dollar store, even the youngest child can buy gifts for his or her family. • Fill a shoebox for a needy child through Operation Christmas Child. Check out http://operationchristmaschild.org.au/ • Include children in wrapping presents. Let them create the wrapping paper with butcher paper, crayons and glitter glue. • Give children the opportunity to physically give out their gifts. This really is the fun part! Let them enjoy the act of giving. Giving generously is a win-win-win proposition. It blesses the people who receive our gifts. It blesses us by taking our focus off ourselves and putting it on others. And it blesses God, because “God loves a cheerful giver” (2 Corinthians 9:7).
Teaching children about receiving gifts • Talk about the reason for the holiday. Discuss what will happen and why we give and receive gifts. Explain how other people will feel when they give gifts.
To contact the KIDS HOPE AUS. National Office, please phone 03 9287 2606. To speak to the World Vision Church Relationship Manager in your state, please phone: VIC/TAS 03 9287 2477 NSW/ACT 02 9806 6300 QLD 07 3387 2700 SA/NT 08 8238 4600 WA 08 6454 7800 Email: auso.kids.hope@worldvision.com.au
• Do a little role-playing – pretend to open imaginary presents. You may like to play the role of an ungrateful child, and show children what it’s like to hear insensitive things after they give a gift. Then reverse roles. Make the experience fun! • Remind children of the importance of saying “thank you”. Practise saying “thank you” for various things during your time together.
Gifts that don’t cost the earth (... but could very well save it!) • Give the gift of yourself. This could be a special project, a service, time spent together, or something homemade. Specific ideas could include free babysitting, a massage or a batch of the recipient’s favourite cookies. • Give the gift of experience. Activities that we get to do, not things to have. These could include a zoo pass, a gift certificate for a restaurant or movie tickets. • Give the gift of charity. Make a donation in someone else’s name. Consider World Vision’s Gift Catalogue to give a gift for life (how often do you get a chance to buy some livestock for Christmas?!). • Get children involved in charitable giving. Volunteer time, donate outgrown clothes and toys, do a walkathon, etc.
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“Christmas ... that magic blanket that wraps itself about us, that something so intangible that it is like a fragrance. It may weave a spell of nostalgia. Christmas may be a day of feasting, or of prayer, but always it will be a day of remembrance – a day in which we think of everything we have ever loved.” – Augusta E. Rundel
Young humanitarians make “lemon-aid” Flicking through the World Vision Australia Gift Catalogue, Elijah (nine years), Asher (seven years) and Aliya (five years) were inspired to buy a well to help children in a developing country. Proving you’re never too young to make a difference, the three siblings decided to use the power of lemonade to make their plan a reality. To date they’ve held three lemonade stands, including two outside their Melbourne home and one at the World Vision national office. They’ve now raised over $1,000 – that’s a whole lot of lemons! The kids hope they’re only one or two more stands away from their goal of $1,425. But the lemonade will be flowing for a while yet. As Elijah commented while making their latest batch: “After we’ve gotten enough money for the well, Mum, I’d like to raise money for a barn full of animals...”
Mentor and child at a Victorian Primary School. Photo: Ilana Rose/World Vision
Children’s development and the importance of giving The Search Institute’s 40 Developmental Assets, which identify the skills and experiences that help children develop into successful and contributing adults, also highlight the importance of giving. Empowerment is enhanced when:
• children are given the opportunity to contribute in decision making at home and in the community (asset 8 – children as resources);
• opportunities are given to children to help others in the community (asset 9 – service to others). Positive values are enhanced when:
• significant adults tell the child it is important to help other people (asset 26 – caring);
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significant adults tell the child it is important to speak up for equal rights for all people (asset 27 – equality and social justice).
Mentors can contribute to the development of these assets by providing opportunities for children to exercise the gift of giving. Children might “adopt” a cause – for instance, a classmate, children with special needs in the community, or a nursing home – and together you can plan activities that would bless and support the recipient(s). Asher, Aliya and Elijah Lewis have experienced the joy of giving. After deciding to buy a well for children in need, the young humanitarians hatched a plan to make “lemon-aid”. With their parents’ encouragement, they’ve raised over $1,000 for their cause. Photo: Lucy Aulich/World Vision
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Sharing Christmas traditions “You can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving.” – Amy Carmichael
Concord Baptist KIDS HOPE AUS. team: our Christmas traditions
The Concord Baptist KIDS HOPE AUS. team has a tradition of ending each school year with a culminating activity that all our kids, parents and mentors can participate in together. In past years we have had the kids ice and pack gingerbread houses, but last December we opted for something new. We decided to get our kids to pack a gift box with iced cupcakes, biscuits and gingerbread shapes, and then wrap it in cellophane and tag it with a gift card that they made as well! Planning for the big day commenced about six weeks before, with the mentors constructing and decorating some prototype Christmas boxes to show as examples to the KIDS HOPE children. A mentor planning group also decided how to manage the one and a half hour timeframe we had to work with the children in, and decisions were made about what materials would be needed. Sixty plain cupcakes; 60 gingerbread shapes, [including] stars, hearts and Christmas trees; 60 biscuits for “funny faces”; multiple packets of marshmallows; and lots of assorted lollies were all on the shopping list! I took the opportunity to include my KIDS HOPE child and the class teacher in making the icing at the beginning of the week. My child gave a demonstration lesson to the class, who observed how to make the icing step-by-step from the recipe they had studied beforehand. This was real fun, and a great time to build up the confidence of my child. The big day soon arrived and the KIDS HOPE team came early to set up the school hall with work benches, ready for the recess bell to go! During the first part of the time, the children set to work on the clean tables to make their greeting cards using the professional card making kit of one of our mentors. In just half an hour, the children had produced a wide variety of beautiful Christmas cards. Then we cleared the tables for the messy part! The children set to icing and decorating funny faces on arrowroot biscuits; sticking marshmallows, biscuits and lollies together to make cups and saucers; decorating the gingerbread shapes baked by another one of our mentors; and finally icing the six cupcakes they each were given. At the end of our time together, the children packed all their goodies into their boxes, wrapped their boxes with cellophane and attached their gift cards with ribbon. All the kids took their boxes to show off to their classmates, and later on home. Top to bottom: 1. Making the icing. 2. Icing a gingerbread house. 3. Decorating the gift box. 4. Making the Christmas cards. 5. Packing the box with iced cupcakes, biscuits and gingerbread. 6. Showing off the finished gift boxes.
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I’m sure they all went away ticking all the positive faces on their “feelings charts”! All in all a wonderful celebration, and a wonderful result! Brian Lammas New South Wales KIDS HOPE AUS. Coordinator Concord Baptist Church and North Strathfield Public School
KIDS HOPE AUS. National Conference: Growing Stronger
The annual KIDS HOPE AUS. National Conference, “Growing Stronger”, was focused around two resources: • Stephen R. Covey’s “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People”, from which has flowed a program called The Leader in Me; and • the Search Institute’s 40 Developmental Assets. Between the seven habits and the 40 developmental assets, we were alerted to a number of tools we can use as mentors to aid in growing stronger relationships. A number of schools across Australia (20 so far) have implemented the Leader in Me Program (based on “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People”), in which every student in the school becomes a leader in something! We heard from George Danson, the principal of Parktone Primary School, a school once on the brink of closure [which, after implementing the Leader in Me program, went on] to [become] one of the most celebrated schools in the state! The seven habits of highly effective people are: 1. Be proactive – you’re in charge. 2. Begin with the end in mind – plan ahead and set goals. 3. Put first things first – spend time on things that are most important. 4. Think win-win – everyone can win. 5. Seek first to understand, then be understood – listen before you talk. 6. Synergise – together is better. 7. Sharpen the saw – balance feels best. We then spent the day learning how the Search Institute’s 40 developmental assets can come alongside and be categorised according to the seven habits of highly effective people. If this incites your curiosity, feel free to look at their corresponding websites: www.search-institute.org and www.theleaderinme.org Throughout the day we were alerted to a number of ways to incorporate the habits and assets into our mentoring hour – and the reading of books together is a wonderful way of doing this.
Keynote speakers at the KIDS HOPE AUS National Conference: (from left), Tony Kamitsis (Franklin Covey), George Danson (Principal, Parktone), Jacquie O’Donoghue (Parktone Student Wellbeing teacher) and Bruce Walker (Franklin Covey). Photo: Lucy Aulich/World Vision
For example, we were alerted to a book called “The Pout-Pout Fish”, which was a great example of one of the seven habits [be proactive]. We actually read the book in the conference, but I have included a YouTube link if you would like to listen to it: http://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=Lron1wlXfxU “The Pout-Pout Fish” is a fun, rhyming picture book about a gloomy fish who discovers that being glum isn’t really his destiny. Bright ocean colours, playful language, and engaging characters make the story perfect for sharing in a mentoring hour. Even at the conference, as adults, we all loved Mr Fish’s transformation from a pout-pout fish to a kiss-kiss fish, and the story of “The Pout-Pout Fish” is all but guaranteed to turn a cranky child’s pout (or even a grown-up’s pout!) upside down! The conference also alerted us to the results of the “Horizons of Hope” report – the 2013 review of the KIDS HOPE AUS. program. In 2005, there were 520 children being mentored through the program; in 2011 this had risen to 3,300, with a significant growth in the past two years in Queensland and the Northern Territory. Currently there are approximately 20 schools waitlisted for the program. One local government area outside Melbourne requested KIDS HOPE for all schools in the municipality! ... The report also highlighted [that] in one state school 50 children had been identified as requiring a mentor! The program is widely celebrated by churches and schools for building individual friendships and strengthening community relationships. The report confirmed that the program is reliable and easily implemented. Most importantly, the report found that the program is valued by parents and impacting child wellbeing. Robyn Lindsay Caringbah Baptist Church 7
Christmas quotes: the true meaning of Christmas Inspiration for Aussie dads: giving your children real and lasting gifts During the early years of KIDS HOPE in Australia, Mal White and Marylin [KIDS HOPE AUS. National Manager Marylin Leermakers] were confronted with story after story of children who had a disengaged or uninvolved dad. Mal felt deeply challenged to address this issue in Australian culture, and during his years of treatment for leukaemia he wrote an inspirational book for dads. The book is an easy read for men, full of personal stories and insights along with practical ways men can invest in the development of their children as well as building depth in their relationships with them. The book is filled with beautiful images of dads with their kids, and Tim Costello has written a powerful foreword.
Is Christmas all about giving and receiving presents? Or is it about Christmas trees and Santa Claus? Learn the true meaning “Were I a philosopher, I should write a of Christmas philosophy of toys, showing that nothing else in life through these need to be taken seriously, and that Christmas Day in beautiful quotes. the company of children is one of the few occasions on which men become entirely alive.” – Robert Lynd
“No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another.” – Charles Dickens
“It is Christmas in the heart that puts Christmas in the air.” – W. T. Ellis “This is Christmas: not the tinsel, not the giving and receiving, not even the carols, but the humble heart that receives anew the wondrous gift – the Christ.” – Frank McKibben Charlie Brown’s Christmas It’s Christmas time, and Lucy comes in where Charlie Brown is standing and says, “Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown. Tis the season of peace on earth and good will toward men. Therefore, I suggest we forget all our differences and love one another.” Charlie Brown, whose face lights up at this, says, “That’s wonderful, Lucy. I’m so glad you said that. But tell me, do we have to love each other only at this season of the year? Why can’t we love each other all year long?” Lucy retorts, “What are you, a fanatic or something?” Quotes on giving
“Good Dads, GREAT DADS!” is a book all about the power of giving – time, experiences, prayer. These gifts are beyond monetary value, but leave a real and lasting imprint on a child’s life.
“Happiness doesn’t result from what we get, but from what we give.” – Ben Carson
Whether you are a dad, an uncle, a mum, an aunt, a mentor or a friend, you will be inspired to read about ways to share these powerful gifts with the children in your life.
“Give, but give until it hurts.” – Mother Teresa
- Marylin Leermakers, KIDS HOPE AUS. National Manager
“For it is in giving that we receive.” – St Francis of Assisi
“A kind gesture can reach a wound that only compassion can heal.” – Steve Maraboli
The book is available at Koorong, Word or your favourite local bookstore. © 2013 World Vision Australia. World Vision Australia ABN 28 004 778 081 is a Christian relief, development and advocacy organisation dedicated to working with children, families and communities to overcome poverty and injustice. Ref # 7266