Is Blame Ruining Your Life?
Kathryn Marker
Is Blame Ruining Your Life? Today, I really want to empower you to help set your mind free of the constant “brain bashing” that blame seems to give us – whether we are aware of it or not. Getting really angry and pointing the nger constantly is not good for us. We really have a blame culture, and we have swung too far in the direction of either blaming ourselves or others for every little problem when something arises. The rst question a lot of us seem to be conditioned to ask when something happens is “Whose fault was that?”. I see blame every day and I’ve de nitely been guilty of the blame game, but it’s to the point now, I don’t know about you, but it really just gets me down hearing it all the time. Let’s explore this further.
It’s The Focus A lot of time when we blame it’s usually someone else. Blame is really a way to shift taking responsibility from our own actions or making it someone’s fault. (If you want to see many reasons people blame, read this article by Changingminds.org) People aren’t perfect, you aren’t perfect and neither am I. Sometimes s*** happens. We expend quite a lot of mental energy looking for someone to blame – and this can be ourselves too.
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Is Blame Ruining Your Life? Personally, I realised how much energy I was wasting when I consciously made the decision a while ago to stop (and I’m still working on it). As a mother, particularly when my daughter was a toddler, I learned a lot about when something went wrong to stop and say “It’s okay honey, these things happen, let’s fix this up”. So why should adults be any different? Sometimes mistakes happen! The biggest issue is the direction that it leads our thoughts – not towards empathy, compassion and problem solving but rather towards anger.
I Know It’s Frustrating We live in a culture where no one really seems to take responsibility for their actions and it’s frustrating. We can’t change other people, but we can find peace in ourselves and live in a way that may inspire others. It’s important to nd a middle ground when it comes to blame. Taking responsibility for your own mistakes can be quite empowering. The reason for this is because if you aren’t responsible for it, you really are just a bystander… or at worst – a victim. I have been in situations as a genuine victim, and I found years after the events that taking some responsibility for what happened gives me some peace that I won’t allow it to happen again – so that’s a healthy sort of self blame (small amounts). Conversely, we all know people who spend their lives blaming themselves for way too much and that’s not healthy either. The idea is to worry about blame last! Here’s why:
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Is Blame Ruining Your Life? A Story With Blame Last I was actually having a conversation recently with someone about blame. They told me that about 20 years ago there was a horrible train crash in the area. Back then apparently, the news and everyone was a bit di erent – according to my friend. Everyone’s rst response was to provide help and band together and support the people who were in this horri c crash. No one even asked “who’s fault” it was until later. A lot of people took action and helped however they could. The investigation and the question of who was to blame was asked later. All they cared about then was getting in and fixing what happened. Brene Brown has a really good video I’d like to share with you here about blame, what it is and why it’s bad for us and our relationships. It’s only about 3 minutes so I encourage you to watch it: Click Here.
Sooo…. The point of all of this is to empower your thoughts. Blaming can be good, but we do it too much and too soon. It can be an enormous energy waster. It pulls us down, makes us angry and bitter and at worst – it makes us a victim. And there is nothing empowering about being a victim. The reason I wrote this is to challenge your thoughts about any negativity in your life that might be holding you back from happiness and just really adding a taste of bitterness in your day.
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Is Blame Ruining Your Life? It’s about a shift in perception to empower your mind so that you are in the driver’s seat of happier relationships and really, your life. I hope this helped. I’d love your feedback if you would take the time to comment below! Take Care, Kathryn. I’m a Blogger, Introvert, Old Soul, Chocolate Lover and a Mum from Australia. My day job is in Remedial Massage (I have dangerous elbows!) and I have spent my life having conversations about Personal Growth, Abundance and Altruism which has developed my love for helping others and living life to the fullest passionately!
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