WEDDING IN THE

Weddings in our small community hailing from Udupi are not very outlandish affairs in the normal course. But this inter-caste love marriage of my brother’s daughter was to be different. It was the wedding of the youngest member in both bride’s and groom’s families and as per the groom’s family custom, it was to be spread over 3-4 days, unlike the typical 1-2 days conservative ceremony norm of our families.

In fact, we eagerly looked forward to this “different” one as it had been a long time since we had a wedding in the family. This was way back in early January 2020. The excitement in the air was very much palpable as everyone got busy making plans. The cousins of the couple overseas commanded that they be informed about the wedding date at the earliest so that they could get hold of cheaper tickets. As the days rolled on, what to wear and where to shop were the most hotly debated topics over our phone calls.

But then COVID happened and out went all our plans. By late February, everyone realized that visits from the NRIs were totally ruled out. By August, it became very clear that the virus wasn’t going to go away anytime soon. That was when the families decided to ahead with the wedding and the date were set as 14th September 2020. The Ceremony was to take place in Bengaluru while some of us close

family members from the bride’s family were living across cities and towns in the state of Telangana.

With the bulk of us find ourselves on the wrong side of the sixties and some even of seventies, to our great disappointment; we realized that travel for us Resident Indians was also out of the question. The wedding invitation was sent across over Whatsapp, followed by personal phone calls. But over both these modes, it was made amply clear that blessings were sought only through the invitees’ “virtual presence”. A link was provided in the invitation to the website that was to live webcast the wedding ceremony.

Honestly speaking, we were all crestfallen for having lost that single opportunity to attend a wedding in the family after a very long time and that too such a different one from the same old, same old types. We reluctantly reconciled to the fact of having to watch it from the safe distance of hundreds of miles thanks to the 0.06-micron virus that had begun to rule over the lives of human beings across the globe.

Discussions over what to wear on the wedding day had become redundant. The same held true for the talks over the veritable menu for the ‘n’ number of ceremonies that were to happen before, during, and after the wedding. We settled ourselves to witness what we opined to be a bland, low key, and insipid ceremony of sorts.

My brother’s family of four made the journey from Telangana to Bengaluru by car fully equipped with sanitizers, masks, gloves, tissues, etc. With the enormity of the situation hitting my sister-in-law hard, she started throwing up in the car, necessitating an urgent visit to the doctor on the way. They finally reached Bengaluru with grim faces, tired bodies, and scared minds. However, the welcome reception they received from the groom’s family managed to lift their spirits a bit.

Finally, the day arrived and all of us settled in front of our devices across the globe. Some of us decided to watch it on the big screen, while some less technosavvy people from the group (the ones who didn’t dare explore beyond clicking the link – lest it should end up exploding in the faces) had to reconcile to watching it over their mobile phones.

The screen started displaying the image of the Lord Ganesha – the Indian deity who single-handedly held the responsibility of warding off all the “Vighna” or the “untoward interruptions.” I really appreciated that idea till I realized that Lord Ganesha would become the “go-to” image whenever the network broke down. Well, it was a very smart move. Who can dare blame the Lord Ganesha? Surely, it must only be a temporary “interlude” ordained by the Lord himself, pray you!

As the wedding ceremony unfolded, I stretched out on my Diwan, in my comfortable house wear. My maid, who too wanted to see the wedding on the TV, settled down in the hall carrying on with her excited banter from behind her mask.

Suddenly, the TV screen came alive with the smiling faces of the bride and groom walking hand-inhand towards the wedding mandap - the groom in his traditional white dhoti and white silk shirt and the bride in her maroon gold zari saree with a contrast green designer blouse - looking resplendent and glowing as happy couples do on their wedding day. The less than 15 member entourage following them looked insignificantly small from what we were normally used to seeing during our wedding ceremonies.

physically being present at the Wedding.

Well, it removed all the stress of having to dress up, going through those uncomfortable chats, the sweaty experience of enduring hours draped in a silk saree, etc. The only thing I missed was the delectable food spread of an Indian Wedding.

But I guess, that was a small price to pay for the luxury of being able to watch it safely from the comfort of one’s drawing-room (or kitchen for that matter) in the middle of a raging pandemic across the world.

I felt, my daughter’s Whatsapp message was sent from the comfort of her home in California which read “It is one of the best weddings I have attended so far.

I did all my laundry, loaded my dishwasher, and finished other chores - all while watching the wedding in my pajamas” summed up our collective feeling very beautifully.

As the ceremony went on, all of us got busy on our phones commenting on the various rituals viz., Kashi Yatra, Mangalasutra Dharana, the sighting of Arundhati Nakshatra over our different Whatsapp groups. As the couple took their seven steps towards their married life, the camera stood focused on their feet inviting a cousin’s comment that it was the very first time she saw the couple’s feet so clearly during a wedding, When the “holy smoke” of the “homa” brought tears to those in physical presence at the wedding, the highly allergic me was happy to have escaped that ordeal.

Once the group photo comprising of about 15 people from both sides was flashed on the screen, the newly married couple thanked the virtual audience with a polite Namaste and signed off.

As I logged off, it struck me that 3 hours had simply flown by. Surprisingly, I felt the experience was better in many ways than

❥ Small is indeed beautiful. Ask any parent who has performed the wedding during 2020 when the earnings of all kinds have taken a beating during the uncertain and extremely stressful times that we find ourselves in, and I bet they are sure to agree with this. ❥ The virtual attendance doesn’t matter, as long as the smiles on the faces of the couple and the families are real and genuine. ❥ If the equation of the boy’s side and girl’s side is equally balanced in the real sense, weddings tend to be beautiful even when viewed from thousands of miles of distance. ❥ Attending a wedding at home wear happens to be a very big luxury. ❥ Weddings are about the union of two people in matrimony and it’s just that. Everything else happens to be frills. ❥ Forced minimalist weddings are perhaps one of the biggest benefits of the pandemic. ❥ Technology gives a level playing platform – it gives the person a similar experience despite the geographical distances or differences in time zones. ❥Attending a wedding virtually being so much lighter on everyone’s (including that of the invitees) is an added advantage.

It also left me wondering whether the trend of virtual attendance at Indian weddings would end up blazing a trail even afterlife gets back to normal post COVID era. I guess time only will tell. We

MYDAUGHTERISABOUT 18 YRSOLDCOLLEGEGOINGGIRL, since last three to four weeks she is suffering from irritation, itching, redness and swelling on the skin of her externa ear, sometimes crust are also formed over it. We have consulted an ENT surgeon for this problem. He told us that she is suffering from eczematous otitis external and advised treatment. I want to know about the causes and treatment of the disease.

Eczematous otitis externa is an allergic dermatitis of the external ear. The allergen may be extrinsic or intrinsic. Clinical features of the disease are irritation, redness and oedema (Swelling) of the skin of the external ear. These are followed by vesication, weeping and crust formation. The picture may be changed by secondary infection. In chronic state scaling and fissuring occur. This may end in stenosis (complete blockage) of the ear canal. Treatment in acute stage consists of hydrocortisone acetate ointment gives dramatic improvement. Antihistaminics should be given systemically. Aluminium acetate 8 per cent or resorcin 5 per cent may be applied. In chronic stage silver nitrate 10 per cent solution is applied. In stenosis plastic operation may be required but any treatment should be taken only by consultation of a doctor.

IAMA 30 YRSOLDWORKINGWOMAN, SINCELASTFOURTOFIVE weeks, I am suffering from discharge from my eyes, alongwith this other symptoms are ocular discomfort, foreign body sensation and difficulty in opening eyes in bright light. I am also suffering from a gynecological problem called cervicitis (inflammation of part of vagina). I have consulted an eye specialist for this problem. After examination he told me that you are suffering from adult inclusion conjunctivitis and advised treatment I want to know about the symptoms causes, treatment and prevention of the disease.

Adult inclusion conjunctivitis is a type of acute follicular conjunctivitis associated with mucopurulent discharge. It usually affects the sexually active young adults. Inclusion conjunctivitis is caused by Serotypes D to K of chlamydia trachomatis. The primary source of inflection is urethritis in males and cervicitis in females. The transmission of infection may occur to eyes either through contaminated fingers or more commonly through contaminated water of swimming pools (hence the name swimming pool conjunctivitis). Symptoms of the disease are ocular discomfort, foreign body sensation, mild photophobia and mucopurulent discharge from the eyes. Conjunctiva becomes red, upper part of the cornea becomes inflamed (swollen), lymp nodes behind the ear becomes swollen. Treatment consists of broad spectrum antibiotic eye drops 3 to 4 times a day for about 6 weeks. Systemic broad spectrum antibiotics are very important, since the condition is often associated with an asymptomatic venereal infection. Improvement in personal hygiene and regular chlorination of swimming pool water will definitely decrease the spread the disease. Patient's sexual partner should be examined and treated.

IAMA 27 YRSOLDWORKINGWOMANANDGOTMARRIEDTHREE years back. In last three years I have got three abortions in continuation. I have consulted a lady doctor for this problem. After examination doctor told me that there is no identifiable cause of abortion and told me that you are suffering from recurrent (habitual) abortion and there are 70 to 80 percent chance of carrying a normal pregnancy and child birth. I want to know about the causes, management and precautions taken in case of recurrent (habitual) abortion.

Recurrent (Habitual) abortion has been defined for years as the loss of three or more previable more than 500 gm pregnancies in succession. Recurrent abortion occurs in about 0.4 to 0.8 percent of all pregnancies. Abnormalities related to recurrent abortion can be identified in approximately half of the couples. If a woman has lost three previous pregnancies without identifiable cause, she still has a 70 to 80 percent chance of carrying a fetus to viability. If she has aborted four or five times, the likelihood of a successful pregnancy is 65 to 70 percent. Recurrent abortion is a clinical rather than pathologic diagnosis. Preconception therapy is aimed at detection of maternal or paternal defects that may contribute to abortion. A thorough general and gynecologic examination is essential. Polycystic ovaries should be ruled out. A random blood glucose test and thyroid function studies should be done. Detection of lupus anticoagulant and other haemostatic abnormalities and an antinuclear antibody test may be indicated. Endometrial tissue should be examined in the post ovulation stage of the cycle to determine the adequacy of the response of the endometrium to hormones. The competency of the cervix must be determined and hysteroscopy or hysterography used to exclude submucous myomas and congenital anomalies. Some women demonstrate a lack of maternal antibody response to paternal lymphocytes, which is customarily found in normal women after successful childbearing. Provide early prenatal care and schedule frequent office visits. Complete bed rest is justified only for bleeding or pain. The prognosis is excellent if the cause of abortion can be corrected.

–Dr Sanjay Teotia.

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