Who's Jack 30

Page 1

FOR THE REST OF US

£2 ISS 30/NOV


/ ABOUT

FROM JACK

A magazine about trends, style, opinion, music, art, fashion, film, events, pubs, clubs and restaurants, along with a few abstract articles and everything else in between that we feel bears relevance to our current day to day living in this brilliant capital - London ~ Jack Loves You More

It’s been a month of parties, Ikea trips and taxis. Suddenly, from nowhere, invites have come in by the dozen and we might have accepted a few too many for our own good. Either way, the fact that spirits are lifting, new brands and bars are launching and people are spending a bit of money again can only be good news. All of the above means we are gearing up for a great November and Christmas. This issue focuses pretty heavily on knitwear, we know, but lets face it, it’s now cold and what better way to take the edge off a chilly wind than a statement knit? Seeing as we couldn’t write a whole issue about wool we also have our choice of bonfire nights, a look at the economy, discussions as to whether it’s time for puffa jackets to come back and tips on how to spend a week without spending. Get to our blog and let us know your thoughts and as always, if you want us to cover something that’s not already in our pages let us know! Finally, don’t forget to check out www.thisisjack.tv, currently showcasing Marco and his friends and their cooking talents along with upcoming programs including James chatting to Stricken City and Leila testing out her puffa jacket theories. Happy November! Lu x

/ TEAM JACK CONTRIBUTORS

Kristoffer Myhre

Jack intern

Tom Ayres

Photographer

A bit of a tiger

Laura joined us last month after James sad departure as resident intern. She also however, does freelance writing for people like More Magazine among others. We have quickly learnt that Laura has many talents including, but not limited to, tactfully debating ownership of vodka, making sure we get to where we are supposed to be, finding bagels and whipping bits of writing up from nowhere.

Kriss was responsible for the brilliant cover of Jack’s September issue and now he is back with another cover that leads onto our Fur, Feathers and Tweed fashion feature. Kriss has a lovely mustache and an equally lovely sister who helped on the shoot when she was meant to be over on holiday!

Tom has just got a job at the BBC, working for Dr Who Magazine. How great is that? Tom writes bits for us from time to time, such as his piece this issue, but he hangs out with us and makes us giggle far more often. A little birdie tells me his writing might be gracing our pages a little more often from now on. Congratulations Tom.

Laura Hills


// ISSUE 30 . NOVEMBER . 2009 \\

6. Oust Est Le Swiming Pool :

James talks to the eccentric band about names and the rockstar lifestyle

55. Leila Likes :

Leila sums up fashion week and takes a look at the highlights and lowlights.

11. The Only Way is Up :

58. Fashion

12. Boys fashion : Winter Warmers

64. Instore Wars :

John takes a look at the moving economy

Jason talks knits

13. Jack Loves : Brand Alley

14. Pirate Radio : Photo story and quotes from Victor

22. Pick of the Month :

Knits, knitting, cross stitch and bonfire nights

25. Top Five Film Deaths : Mark looks ats

26. Trend obsessed Nation : Ruthie talks fads

30. My Two-For-Six Pound Life : Back to university

31. Baked Beans and Champagne: Ruthie takes a look at designer Elnaz Nikani

32. Review one liners :

What you should be buying, downloading and binning

34. Fashion : Fur, feathers and tweed

46. How to make a Pinata : Marco gets creative

FEATURES / REGULARS

As Winter Moves in

Harry checks out the live music in the record shops

66. Get That Look :

Leila tackles the puffa

68. Children of the Nineties : So much to remember... and forget.

70. Theatre and Performance :

this months round up of things you should see.

72. Top Five Brownies

73. Arthur Cadaver 76. Everybody Loves a Good Conspiracy Tom looks at moon landings

78. A week for Free

Adam tells you a few tricks of the trade

79. Signs of Revolt 80. What’s New

Our new page looking at what’s new this month in the Capital

80. Bar Reviews

Our new Bar review section will highlight a new London Bar each month

81. I Love you For Loving Me

50. Time for Tea :

Erin shares a few celebrity stories as he asks has it gone too far?

54. Designers in the spotlight

82. Scene Stealer

Emma looks at our obsession as a nation, with tea Hannah picks two to watch.

A month in the life of Jack

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SH*T OF THE MONTH

The beginning of last month didn’t make for much sh*t inclusion and we started to get a bit worried that we were having too good a time and being too un-annoyed by everything. This would of course result in Sh*t of the Month being a bit bland come Nov. That was until week two. So where to start? Firstly we have had a few surprising revelations that should go to remind everyone you should never be too trusting and always listen when people suggest you should be concerned about something. Returns have pi**ed us off a bit this month too - what with a mammoth shoot half the office has been a minefield of bags and we are still only half way through getting them all back. At least we wont have to go to the gym to tone our arms ! Generally rude people are also going into Sh*t of the month this month. John and I witnesses some terrible behavior on the 55 route last week involving some nutter calling an old man a w*nker becuase he couldn’t move his legs out the way and the nasty man refused to pick his feet up and step over them! Said horrid man then followed the bus as long as he could sticking his finger up to the poor old guy. Soo not cool.Kids on the bus are also a massive annoyance. Screaming babies and screaming school children are not at all pleasent and we are going to make a note not to plan any meetings or take back any returns at school leaving or cresh dropping time. Finally, London Parties, sorry guys but we really weren’t impressed. Ooh and finally, finally that guy on the ‘Up Your Viva’ advert. I am not sure what Up Your Viva is meant to mean, sorry if that makes me sound like a granny but is it an insult or statement? Anyway, point is that guy has a really odd face. And windows 7 - ‘it’s just got miles easier’ - what? you mean its just got more like a mac?

Editor/Creative Director : Lu Orcheston-Findlay : louise@whos-jack.co.uk // Advertising Who’s Jack / This is Jack TV : John Parkes : john@whos-jack.co.uk // Features Editor : Faye Heran : faye@whos-jack.co.uk // Music : James Lynch : james@whos-jack.co.uk // Pick Of : louise@whos-jack.co.uk // Fashion Comment : Leila Dante Hartley : leila@whos-jack.co.uk // Jack Stylists : Louise Orcheston-Findlay : louise@whos-jack.co.uk // Aartthie Mahakuperan : Arti@whos-jack.co.uk // General Comment : Adam Roan Henderson : adam@whos-jack.co.uk // Photography : Stewart Ruffles : www.rufflesphotography.com : info@rufflesphotography.com // Barry Macdonald : www.barrymacdonald. co.uk : info@barrymacdonald.co.uk // John Kightley : Kristoffer Myhre : www.krismyhre.com // Christopher Hall // Victor Frankowski // Stuart Leech : www.music-photos.co.uk // Joel Dart Contributing writers : Marco Casadei // Leah Delfin Borromeo // Jason Gregory // Ruthie Holloway // Lucy Hancock // Hannah Rochell // Jeremy Williams // Josh Spero // Tom Ayres // Mark Williams // Harry Amos // Emma Kay Contributing Stylists : Emma Kay // Sara Darling Illustrations : Chris Getliffe : www.getliffe.com // James Lightfoot // Dan Stafford // Jaki Jo : www.jakijo.com // Jo Mitchell www.behance.net/jomitchell // Elliot Rooney Models : Max at D1 Models : www.d1models.com // Lynsey : www.modelmayhem.com/145472 // Rose @ Storm Hair & Make up : Stephanie Gannon-Malcom // Angela Plummer // Valerie Saint-Amand Cover Image : Kristoffer Myhre Want to see your work in Jack? Contributions : contributions.jack@googlemail.com Thanks to : Matt and the tem at Camden town Unlimited, a brilliant project and the people behind our new office. Laura for being a great intern, John for extra furniture help, Em for taking a Sunday out at Ikea and finally Escapade in Camden for always being there with a wicked costume for us. Who’s Jack Ltd All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in whole or in part with out the permission of Who’s Jack. The opinions expressed in this magazine are not necessarily the opinions of Who’s Jack. Who’s Jack Ltd can not be held responsible for any breach of copyright arising from any material supplied. Who’s Jack, 73 Parkway, NW1 7PP


THIS IS

X O V L E N N A H C WATCH IT


OUST EST LE SW


OU EST LE SWIMMING POOL HAVE AT LEAST THREE GOOD THINGS GOING FOR THEM. ONE, THEY HAVE A MOST RIDICULOUS NAME. TWO, THEY MAKE GREAT, DANCY ELECTRO NOISE AND THREE, THEY WERE NICK GRIMSHAW’S RECORD OF THE WEEK. OH WELL, TWO OUT OF THREE AIN’T BAD.

7

WIMMING POOL words : James Lynch | images : Stewart Leach


Shameless and pretty needless insults aside, I meet up with the band in the exclusive surroundings of Soho House and after burying themselves deep into a sumptuous cream sofa and ordering a healthy lunch of vodka, tonic and chips, they begin to talk. “They call it Franglais. In the business.” explains Joe Hutchinson, who in his own words, “plays some synthesisers” in Ou Est Le Swimming Pool, the band in grammatical question. I pose it to them that there is also no question mark at the end of their name and lead singer Charlie Haddon agrees, “That’s true actually, we used to have an exclamation mark for some reason.” “We are not really looking for a swimming pool. It could just be anything, we might change it to a symbol. Create a bit of confusion,” ponders Joe. “There was definitely a point where we were in these meetings and people were like, ‘You can’t keep this name if you want to have any kind of serious career in music. Let’s change it now.’ So we thought of a few alternatives but…” Joe doesn’t need to finish the rest of that sentence, as in time-honoured fashion, history tells the rest of their story. And as Joe points out, they are well justified in keeping their peculiar name, “I think having such a ridiculous name must have helped us a lot. Like, no one ever really forgets us.” The band members also revel in the delights of having their own, equally ridiculous, alter egos. Charlie is also known as Andely Perrigroso Perricosima, “My middle name’s ‘danger’ in Spanish. It’s mostly made up, that name.” Joe is Fernando Percival III, “or Fernando P.I, which stands for ‘pimping investigator’.” And the third member, Caan Capan, who does “Some singing too” is called Affa Da or, “Affa Da Slew. I’ve added a Slew to it.” “Yeah, the name stuck around from his days in the grime scene,” explains Joe, possibly sarcastically. Unfortunately, as Charlie explains, “We were told we have to be a bit more serious now. We have got the silly collective band name so our actual personal names have to calm down a bit. So we did try and have some more normal but also stupid names. Joe, you were gonna be Sean Paul weren’t you?”, “That was taken though wasn’t it?” replies Joe. And so the complicated, bi-lingual, multi-monikered world of Ou Est Le Swimming Pool opens up to let me in. The band formed in 2008 when Charlie met up with Joe and Caan in Camden. Caan was friends with Joe from secondary school and when Joe and Charlie ended up living together, “It all went

from there really, it was a pretty organic process as they say,” says Caan, with the irony of someone who does not include themselves in that fore mentioned ‘they’. Things really started taking off for Ou Est Le Swimming Pool when their cover version of the omni-present ‘Umbrella’ by Rihanna, started attracting some serious attention both online and on the dance floor. As Charlie remembers, “Mikey Four, our favourite DJ in the world, he played it at KOKO for some reason and invited us down. We then decided that we were meant for stardom. Obviously if we could get this really quite awful track played in there we could actually get something good played as well.” “Yeah, I played drums on it and I can’t even play the drums.” adds Joe. “It’s interesting, there are some classic moments in it but… actually at the end, we added in that Chris Brown cover as well. So the last chorus goes into ‘Cinderella’. Which again seemed like a great idea. It was also terrible,” confesses Charlie. I ask them if they had always set out to become an electro-pop band and Joe looks rather bemused before responding, “We just set out to make lots and lots of money… It was all we had really. We stole loads of synths from a producer friend of ours, I think it was basically just working with what we had available to us.” “Neither of us could actually play,” agrees Charlie, “It really happened quite by fluke, Caan and Joe were making hip-hop mainly and I was doing blues so I don’t quite know where that met in the middle.” As a contemporary band that make danceable music and play synthesisers, there are obviously going to be a lot of comparisons drawn. But along with some of their more expected peers, such as Black Kids, Ou Est Le Swimming Pool have also been inescapably compared to The Pet Shop Boys. This is something that the band don’t quite get themselves. “We don’t try and sound like anyone. I think we sound like most of those bands just because of the instruments we use.” says Charlie. And Joe agrees, “The sound is a lot to do with having similar instruments, it’s a real 80s analogue sound that these synths produce. I guess that’s why people are always drawing similar comparisons between us. But The Pet Shop Boys thing is just purely coincidental, until people started comparing us to The Pet Shop Boys none of us had listened to them.” As Charlie recalls, “I remember an A & R guy pretty much forced a CD down our throats and I definitely think that was even the first time I had even heard the Pet Shop Boys. That was in November, and we’ve been doing it for a lot longer

than that…” Ou Est Le Swimming Pool’s debut single, ‘Dance The Way I Feel’ is the perfect show case of their sound. A cacophony of clashing drum machines and synths, that is all somehow underpinned by a great beat and Charlie’s slightly insecure and naïve lyricism. The single knows what it is doing and does it with great aplomb: gets feet moving on the dance floor. Something Ou Est Le Swimming Pool themselves are not always comfortable with. As Joe admits, “I do definitely dance a lot more when I am drunk.” While Charlie takes it one further and confesses that dancing makes him feel, “Like a complete tw*t.” Caan, however, seems to have no such insecurities on the dance floor. “You just shake it really and just lose yourself innit. That’s all I do really. You kind of lose it at euphoric moments on the dancefloor at the end of the night when you’re just about to collapse. Well, that’s me personally…” Dancing aside, the boys take what they do seriously and don’t want to be trapped by the music they are making at the moment. As Charlie says, “I don’t think we wanna be stuck just in one genre. I see us kind of as pop music rather than an electro act, definitely. And it would just be a bit dull to have to stick with something for the rest of our time as a band.” And Joe suddenly springs forward, “Go a little bit glam rock maybe?” Charlie thinks for a second, “Glam rock, that would be nice. That would be epic. Yeah, there are just loads of different things that we want to do with it, so we will see where it goes.” Things are going well for Ou Est Le Swimming Pool for now, but as Caan says, “We are still in the Oyster Card crew so it hasn’t really kicked off yet!” And Joe agrees, “We keep getting the odd taste of superstardom but not much has changed really. It makes Glastonbury (where the band were invited to perform on no less then three stages) more enjoyable, VIP and free bar…” “It’s nice having 15, 16 year old girls asking for autographs…” Charlie adds, before desperately back paddling in the amused silence, “16 plus I meant…” The single ‘Dance The Way I Feel’ is out now on Stiff Records. www.myspace.com/ouestleswimmingpool www.stiff-records.com


9


...


The Only Way Is Up You know that song ‘The Only Way Is Up’? Bollocks, economically-speaking. If you’ve been within a mile of an economist lately (and you’ll know because they’re grinning manically and claiming they foresaw the Credit Crunch, the recession, the Boxing Day tsunami…), they’re all discussing what shape our current recession is going to take: will it be a simple V, down and up again? U, down with a long stagnant period before we recover? Or, and this is hitting the spot at the moment, the wicked W, where we think we’re recovering only to collapse again, and for longer? You may have noticed, if you attend to such things, that the stock market is back up again, which is usually a good sign: it means people have stopped panicking and have more faith that companies won’t fall over suddenly, as they did this time last year. Woolworths was there one day and not the next, and the Icelandic company that owned Iceland, Karen Millen, Oasis, House of Fraser and Whittards was toppled in a matter of days, taking some of those stores with it. You may also have noticed because you lost your job in the crisis. We at least have left those days behind. Haven’t we? The bad news is that although the roof of this house isn’t leaking, the floorboards are rotten. This is because the fundamentals of the economy are bad, eventually bringing the whole thing down from the bottom: unemployment is high and will keep getting higher because people are borrowing and spending less, meaning that houses will be repossessed, causing the property market to fall, meaning people can borrow less money against them to spend, so the economy will go back into recession, which happens (among other reasons) when people stop spending. (Funnily enough, the best thing to do in a recession is spend money: it’s called the Paradox of Thrift, where you think that saving money will help you but all it does is make the wider economy worse.) There is so much gloom it’s hard to take. What are the hopeful spots? Well, as I’ve said before in Who’s Jack, if you can keep your job, a recession is brilliant: prices fall everywhere and cash is king. With cash you can negotiate, even going into shops and bargaining the price of pricey items down. (That’s actually true.) This is also a brilliant time for innovation: we are going through what’s called creative destruction, meaning that in a downturn, old and unsustainable models fall apart but new and creative businesses thrive. If you have an entrepreneurial streak, preferably green or mass or cheap, now is the time to start thinking about how you can turn it into a business. Staid old companies are in trouble, but we will be lead out of the recession by the innovators who make life better. There is money washing about for green projects, and the government is always trying to encourage new businesses across the board. (Check out www.businesslink.gov.uk for support.) But apart from that, it’s hunker-down-and-pray-for-daylight time. Just remember: if you start getting your money sorted today, your bank account, your bills, your rent, your outgoings, your income, then you’ll be in a much better position if those floorboards do fall from under you. words : Josh Spero | images : Eliott Rooney

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FASHION FOR THE BOYS WINTER WARMTH With the likes of plaid shirts, power trenches and, if you read this column last month, Fair Isle knits making a resurgence this season, there seems to have been little fuss made this year over the more humble, recurring and de rigueur Autumn/Winter staples. You know, the items that when it starts to get really cold and your senses begin going into lockdown you simply can’t live without. You’ll be pleased to know that I’m not talking about socks (although, as one wise man once told me, a good pair is invaluable at this time of year). I am, instead, bringing up the subject of scarves. Once lampooned as the sole accessory of choice for Dr Who circa Tom Baker and public school boys, scarves have made a big comeback this decade. Indeed, their lack of presence during the catwalk shows for this winter is perhaps testament to that. It’s not that designers didn’t use them, Burberry’s snoods, for example, were at the fore of their collection, it’s just the fashion world seems to have finally accepted them again. That’s not to say scarves have become boring – far from it. The aforementioned snood, which originally started life in the Middle Ages as a type of women’s headgear, offers

Jason Gregory an alternative take on the conventional neck scarf. As well as their custom check, Burberry also offer them in cable knit and bohemian designs. Elsewhere, McQ by Alexander McQueen has a number of abstract silk scarves on offer this season, while those with thick skin can seek out Paul Smith’s Long Doctor scarf (no prizes for guessing the inspiration there). If, however, you prefer your neckwear to be a touch more traditional, then you can’t go far wrong with a simple knitted scarf – and the longer the better. But just be careful how you wear it. They look far more elegant when looped liberally around the neck rather than folded in half and tied to strangulation point like a Premiership footballer. As for the colour, try to keep to more neutral shades this season; anything too vibrant and you’ll look like you’ve been endorsed by Skittles. Despite their relatively inconspicuous role on the catwalks this year, the versatility of scarves should not be underestimated. And let’s not forget, they’re also rather good at keeping you warm on a brisk winter’s morning as well.


JACK

LOVES

Yeah it’s a little bit of an ‘I heart NY’ rip off but it always looks good doesn’t it. This is what we are loving this month.

BRAND ALLEY

This month we are loving Brand Alley, a brilliant new concept in online flash sales. These sales last online for just a few days, or until stock is gone and that usually happens pretty fast. We are particularly loving their men’s products, although they do have women’s as well. Brand Alley, basically offers designer clothes and accessories at up to 80% off their usual prices so the bargains are brilliant! New flash sales start every day so you’ll never be far from one that appeals to you. We’ve also heard that early next year Brand Alley will be doing even more lifestyle products. Excellent. Here are a selection of the kind of things on offer now from kitchen items through to towels and stylish watches. Our favourite is the studded towel below from Diesel. Other brands that are often seen are Belstaff, Boxfresh, Raf Simons by Fred Perry and Alexander McQueen by Puma ... you get the idea. The range in products is brilliant, miles away from the usual stock you would expect to find on a sale site. We will be updating you next issue with all the lovely cut price Christmas presents you can buy from here too! Make sure you sign up to the mailing list to hear about sales and get in their quick. www.brandalley.co.uk

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Pirate Radio. Still at large around London but WHAT with podcasts and internet radio SUCH AS live 365 and alike is there still a place for pirate on the airwaves? VicTOR went to meet A GROUP OF PIRATE DJS that believe it’s not over yet. images : Victor Frankowski

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Volatile : “You can’t get those particular (listeners stats) figures. The way DJs work when they’re in the studio and are playing out is how alive the phone line is and how live the texts are that are coming through.”


17

Bassa : “Whether it’s Broken Beat, whether its Grime, whether its Bassline, Drum and Bass, Jungle, Garage. They’ve had their part to play in all those genres of music. My question would be, what’s the next level from that. How do you keep that continuity going? How do you take the next step?”



19

Volatile: “I was born and brought up on the east coast in Essex, in a town called Clacton. They had an old school pirate, which was really only available on the weekends. It was run out of a little bedroom inside someone’s house, somewhere no one knew.”


Bassa : “Half of the club DJs are on pirate radio stations or internet stations. And that’s what gets the artist’s music to the masses and gets the popularity working on those tracks, which then in turn evolves a scene and evolves an a rtist, bringing them to the forefront.”


21


The polo neck... we are still unsure but for those that are, here is a nice cable knit option. Again, one for the boys to lend to the girls, there Most of these jumpers are perfect for boys is already the boyfriend fit jean, lets or girls, this one for example - perfect to bring in the boyfriend fit jumper. buy for the boyfriend, then to steal for your Gant : £125 : www.gantuk.com own. Remus : £70 : Stockist : 0121 784 6161

Another fine example of the new Fat Face range. This, unlike the knits above is very much just for girls, then again... Fat Face : £35.00 : www.fatface.com

We love these boot-come-slippers. We’ve seen a fair few around but these are our favourites. I think it’s the pom-poms, they are making me think ‘Christmas booties to wear whilst present opening’. Is it too early to be thinking Christmas? We did get a press release through to say that Christmas in London officially starts on the 3rd of November so I guess not. Ellie Gray : £12.00 : www.elliegray.com

Fat Face have surprised us of late, we got a press release through and it seems these guys are bringing out a load of really nice stuff for winter. Try to forget the Fat Face of your youth, the new collections are all grown up. Fat Face : £22.50 : www.fatface.com

This cape is a great, lighter weight alternative to all the oversized coats adorning the hangers on the highstreet. The belt handily avoids the ‘Hi. I’m wearing a poncho/cape and I look like a ball with legs’ problem. Ellie Gray : £55.00 : www.elliegray.com


JACK’S PICK OF THE MONTH IT’S

ALL

ABOUT

KNIT-

TING! STATEMENT KNITS ARE

MOST

DEFINITELY

HERE TO STAY FOR THE WINTER, BUY

SO WHY YOURS

ALTERNATIVELY,

NOT NOW?

HAVE

A

LOOK AT SOME OF OUR COST

If you prefer your knits with a bit more edge then look to Ashish this range of knit wear as bright as you like with lots of equally as bright buttons and pom-poms to boot. The price tag is a bit higher but hey - so is the design. Ashish : £270 : Selfridges

Remember these? Well, if all you want to do is maybe knit yourself a skinny scarf or some form of finger warmers then look no further than the wooden knitting doll. Find these and a whole load of other wooden toys that you forgot existed here: www.woolgarstoys.co.uk

EFFECTIVE

CURRICULAR

EXTRA

ACTIVITIES

TO MAKE YOUR OWN !

23

Why not try out knitting for yourself. It’s really not that hard, then you can knit as many cosy jumpers as you want and sew on your own selection of bobbles and baubles, hell, you could even knit all your Christmas presents. What a penny saver! Buy handy knitting patterns and find lessons online. The hats above illustrate the kind of patterns you can find - Oh the possibilities! www.learn2knit.co.uk www.knitpat.com

If you’re not getting overly excited by our creative knitting suggestions then look no further for creative craft inspiration than to Urban Cross Stitch. Try your hand at cross stitch at these events that include not only cross stitching lessons but cocktails and cupcakes as well. The Urban Cross Stitch guys can also be found every Sunday at the Truman Brewery, Sunday Up Market if you would like to buy a pattern to practice on at home so you don’t look like a looser who can’t cross stitch when you go to the events! www.urban-cross-stitch.com

Stitch and Bitch is a free knitting group that holds events in London. Anyone can join. The lovely stitch and bitchers will even teach you to knit (and bitch if your interested) for free. Each week members get together at a different central London location (posted on the website). Anyone is welcome - venues also tend to be picked for nice food and drink too. Nights start at 6pm and go on till late. www.stitchandbitchlondon. co.uk


CANDLE BALLOONS : HOW TO

op

Fireworks. Yeah!! Don’t you just love em? Lets face it, unless you’re a catbut or maybe naughty nice you had a terrible experience with something loud you have no excuse not to get excited about standing in a dark field somewhere, with freezing fingers and toes to watch some sparkly sky lights! So, what do you do if you don’t have your very own field? Or maybe you can’t afford to get to someone elses? Well, you do the second best thing - you find an open space, small garden, balcony or maybe even a front room. We have options for all!

T

AL

Small Garden ? Have a look at these garden flares, like mini bonfires on a stick! Because they are essentially large candles they can fit in the smallest of gardens and we would think (but by no means hold us to this) that they might work for a balcony too Even smaller garden? Zippo have a lovely range of lighters and have just added to it this rather blow torch like design for outdoor use, we suppose things like camping. However, you could use it as your own little mini flame so you don’t feel left out on Nov 5th Indoor only? These gold mini indoor sparklers (right) are your ticket. Small and living room friendly, you wont even need gloves! You may, however, still want to wear gloves to get the full blown effect though.... up to you.

A

N ER

S K R WO

IRE

F

E

V TI

Indoor and in the street? Re-live your days of being an irritating, snotty nosed kid and get some Fun Snaps. The bang of fireworks on a smaller scale without the pretty colours but with the irritating charm of being able to throw them at people

Still want bright things in the sky? Make some candle balloons, choose your bags carefully though as we don’t want anyone getting burnt. Find exact steps on how to make your own to the right.

Find a plastic bag. Dry cleaning bags, we hear, work well, but you could use a bin bag provided it is light. You basically want something as light as possible. Note: plastic releases toxic fumes when burned, so ensure you don’t do this indoors. Attach straws together to form a circle with a diameter of about 12 inches (dependent on bag size). You can do this by inserting one end into another and so on. Tape the opening of the opened bag to the sides of your newly formed straw circle. Use light weight tape, and use it sparingly. Cut a 2 inch square out of thin cardboard, the perfect cardboard being that of an empty cereal box. Punch four holes near the center (the holes should be slightly smaller than the width of the birthday candle they need to fit snugly). Attach a twelve inch piece of thread to each corner of the cardboard square. Insert candles into the punched holes. Connect the candle holder to the balloon’s opening with the four threads from our candle holder so that it hangs down below the balloon. Finally : light the candles and let it go!


LAURA’S PICK OF BONFIRE NIGHTS : The clocks have gone back, it’s dark when your alarm goes off and you have decided that finally it’s time to get that winter coat out of the wardrobe... It’s November, and that means one thing and one thing only..... Guy Fawkes night. On November 5th the capitals skies will be lit up with the colours of fireworks. Here’s Who’s Jack’s pick of the best displays around London… Wimbledon Park There are two shows, one for children and one for adults at Wimbledon Park this year. Make sure you check out the stalls and fairground rides before watching the fireworks at 8:15pm. The displays are set to music for a little extra Guy Fawkes magic and will be ended in the traditional manner with the lighting of a bonfire. Entry: £7 for adults Victoria Park Victoria Park is the perfect place to watch a Fireworks display this November 5th, with two lakes providing the backdrop for the display aptly named ‘Great Balls of Fire.’ The fireworks are set to a 50’s, retro soundtrack, there’s also a fun fair and food to keep you entertained from 4pm and best of all it’s completely free. Entry: Free Alexandra Palace The entertainment kicks off at 4:30pm over at ‘Ally Pally’ with fun fairs, a German Bier Festival in the Great Hall and a traditional Oompah band in the West Hall. As well as all this there’s also a family ice skating rink and an elevated viewing point means there’s no need for pushing and shoving to get the best sight of the explosives. From such a high point you’ll also be able to see displays from all over East London. There’s no entry fee but they do ask for a donation. Entry: Free

ART SPOT

Crystal Palace Park Fireworks have been set off at Crystal Palace Park for over 150 years now with roughly 2,000 displays taking place over the last 70 years so they’re pretty much the experts. It remains one of the biggest displays in London with the show lasting an impressive 25 minutes. Entry: £5 adults Clapham Common The fireworks take place at the Rookery Road end of the Common, although there are two other spots in Lambeth (Brockwell Park and Stretham Common) which set them off at the same time so expect fireworks from all angles. Clapham Common offers the best spot for seeing all three as well as fairground rides and food stalls. After the display head to the near by Windmill pub which hosts the unofficial after party. Entry: Free words : Laura Hills

Hush : Innocence Friday 13th November - 28th Urban Angel Art Lounge 41-43 Redchurch Street, London, E2 7DJ www.hushstudio.blogspot.com

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Hush is back this November with his solo show ‘Innocence’. In Hush’s own words “The title of my show ‘Innocence’ comes from the deceptive expressions on the characters in my work depicted through manga/anime imagery. The simple expressions and glazed eyes suggest purity and innocence whereas the provocative images of the female form suggest the opposite. “ As enormous fans of Hush’s work we can tell you now, this exhibition will be a good one to put in your diaries.


TREND-OBSESSED NATION Fitting in today and standing out tomorrow. words : Ruthie Holloway : image : Jo Mitchell

PICTURE THIS:

YOU ARE WEARING WHAT THIS WEEK’S DAZEDDIGITAL.COM HAS PREDICTED TO BE THE HOTTEST THREE TRENDS OF A/W 09, IN ONE OUTFIT. YOU ARE EXPERIENCING THE FIRST POP-UP VIRTUAL MUSIC FESTIVAL IN CENTRAL LONDON, AT THE CENTRE OF WHICH IS A HOLOGRAM OF FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE, BELTING OUT HER LATEST TUNE. OF COURSE, YOU ARE RECORDING IT ON YOUR IPHONE WHILST TWITTERING AWAY ABOUT HOW AMAZING IT IS. LATER YOU BLOG IT AND ADD ALL THE FOOTAGE TO FACEBOOK AND YOUTUBE. IN A SINGLE SCENARIO YOU ARE A MASCOT FOR SOME OF THE LATEST TRENDS IN MUSIC, FASHION, CULTURE AND TECHNOLOGY. CHECK YOU OUT! BUT DON’T GET TOO EXCITED, YOU WON’T BE ABLE TO BASK IN THESE TRENDS FOR VERY LONG.

What is most visible about trends is their ever-increasing transient nature: no sooner has one trend come along, another is appearing on the horizon and we want to know about it. So why the obsession and how are they all affecting us? If we look at evolution, consider the ‘Me Tarzan, you Jane’ era for a moment, social cohesion, adopting modes of be-

haviour and appearance and being part of a community is human nature. This explains the desire to follow trends in order to ‘fit in’ but has the over-exposure to so many trends and the speed at which they change, invited us to want to, not only stand out from the crowd but ahead of them? I spoke to Tom Savigar, a director (and fountain of knowledge about the future) at leading trend forecasting agency, The Future Laboratory. He tells me that, “trends of the attitudinal type, such as those involving style and those formed by opinion, evolve faster. The amount of cultural references we are exposed to is so many, that people become more fickle and thus attention spans become shorter.” This results in ‘an appetite for change’, and thus we all end up pursuing new trends faster. On top of this it seems, no longer content with just jumping on the bandwagon, we also want to be the first to adopt new trends and even be the instigator of them. A hard lot to please, no? There are a million and one trends I could speak about to emphasise this obsession, but it would require me writing a book, and by the time I finished it, purple would no longer be the new black but the new beige (and beige is ancient history don’t you know), and thus no longer relevant. So let’s start with Fashion, one of the most fast-paced industries that feeds an addiction to know first, about what’s ‘in vogue’, but also what’s coming next.

Terry James Lynch, recently appointed Topman’s Stylist Service Manager in their personal styling and shopping service for men at the retail flagship store, he explains, “People want to keep up with everyone else and they hate being left behind; it’s like coming last in a race. Adopting a new trend before other people do, makes them feel ahead of their game.” And so you find Fashionista X competing with Fashionista Y trying to squeeze herself in Label A’s skinnies (she got them free darling, at yesterday’s launch party) only as soon as she has, Fashionista Y rocks out in a pair of Label B’s hottest ‘must-have’ boots of the season, and they haven’t even hit shops in the UK yet. “Fierce, fierce”, as a friend of mine always says. So it would seem, our competitive nature is also to blame. The Music industry is yet another whose trends are fast-changing, affected by an overriding factor of ‘information overload’ via twenty-four internet culture, the media, advertising and constant new developments in technology. Our ‘bored-easily’ nature and thirst for the new has contributed towards the constantly shifting nature of ‘trends’ in music too. I ask Angus Blair, a Senior A&R Manager at Universal Music if he thinks this prevents artists from having as much longevity as those in the past: “Yes definitely. Especially in the UK, where we have a weekly music media and tabloid feeding frenzy and a ‘here today, gone later today’ thought pro-


words : Ruthie | image : Jo Mitchell

cess. It’s very hard for artists to stay true to their values and stay relevant when trends change so fast.” This may also be responsible for the merging of old and new in music, ‘mash-ups’ as well as the nostalgia for the past via revivals of previous decades of music and fashion. (May I flag up here the current 80s/90s revivals). A lean toward familiarity is also a product of the trend-changing rollercoaster. The exposure we have to trends via experiences is changing too. Cue the pop-up phenomenon. The birth of this trend fed people’s need to experience these ‘limited time only’ places before they disappear, because if you missed it, you missed out. And who wants to miss out? Prada’s The Double Club, The Reindeer and Flash restaurants set up by Pablo Flack, David Waddington and Tom Collins, were, and are fine examples and instigators of this trend. However it has lead to an excessive amount of brands jumping on the bandwagon, geographically imposing themselves upon people where they are not always welcome. Thus the pop-up trend becomes a good example of what happens when a trend is over saturated: it dies. So what’s next? (Let’s feed your trendhunting appetite just the once) Savigar explains that companies are “using guerrilla marketing and experiential marketing to make a bigger impact on people. Technology will be used to do the same thing. Pop-up will turn digital, and you’ll soon be able to have

an artist singing a song that you like beamed to the space you are standing in, via your phone, so that you are entering a virtual pop-up moment.” All sounding a bit Matrix isn’t it, but the truth of the matter is, we’re pretty much there already. Only recently you could witness a hologram of Pixie Lott, performing and taking part in the UK’s first ever multi-artist hologram gig as part of The Orange Monkey Hologram Gigs Tour. These developments in technology are also partly responsible for a lack of communication amongst us. Encouraged by addictive internet sites such as Facebook and Twitter, not to mention blogging, Skype and even easier access to the internet via iPhones, we spend less and less time physically communicating in conversation. You can even escape your whole life and go and live it virtually in Second Life should you wish. So considering the rate at which we consume information, has there been any backlash or revolt to it? Savigar explains that despite its obvious advantages, “an overload of information is causing a few problems. Companies are finding it harder and harder to train graduates because they want to try everything (hence the slash slash generation–why be just a musician when you can be a poet/songwriter/musician/shop assistant?). There has also been a rise in what has been dubbed the ‘quarter-life crisis’, because people are adopting a ‘had-enough’ attitude,

down to the infliction of too much information.” I ask him what trends are evolving as a reaction to this attitude. “There has been a cultural re-booting and a revolt of sorts. Consumers are becoming more interested in a sense of family and community (as opposed to online communities) the home and the environment, and in giving their life a sense a value and a sense of meaning.” This suggests that we are aware of the ever-changing nature of trends and perhaps that we are not happy with the exhausting speed at which we have to keep up with them. My last question for Savigar, just for fun, and because it is not likely to happen, what life would be like without trends. He speculates: “Life would probably be much like the nineteenth century. The advertising, fashion and music industries would die out. There would be a simplistic, reduced sense of design, and a distilled sense of identity. There would be no need to move forward, buy new clothes and no need to reinvent. Creativity would die too.” So then, we are definitely best sticking with a world with trends no?! And despite the speed at which they move, and how relentless and restless we become in adopting them and being in the know about what’s next, perhaps one day the speed at which they change will slow down and in an ideal world ‘Generation Now’ will supersede what presently feels like ‘Generation Next.’ Savour that thought, it won’t last very long...

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A TO

DEATH

REMEMBER

What with Halloween falling on the last day of October, the glut of horror films released for the occasion tend go on well into November. Grisly deaths can become ten a penny; we see so many heads blown off, limbs removed and necks sliced that we become desensitised to all but the most elaborate of demises. Well, here at Jack, we have thought long and hard about some of our favourite film fatalities and would like to present out top five…

1. Shogun Assassin (1980) When the Master of Death is defeated by Lone Wolf with a slash across the neck he still manages this impressive monologue for a man with a sliced jugular: “When cut across the neck, a sound like wailing winter winds is heard, they say. I’d always hoped to cut someone like that someday, to hear that sound. But to have it happen to my own neck is ridiculous.” 2. The Wizard of Oz (1939) The Wicked Witch of the East is crushed by Dorothy’s house landing on her. Clearly not of the opinion that this statistically highly unlikely death is humiliating enough, Dorothy then half-inches her ruby red slipper just to rub it in. No wonder the Wicked Witch of the West sends flying monkeys after them. 3. The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001) Possibly because he is a heroic warrior, born of the race of men, or possibly just because he’s played by Sean Bean, it takes three huge arrows to finally kill off Boromir, in the film’s climactic battle scene. We all know that Sharpe would have just head-butted the arrows back and called them bastards but hey ho… 4. Monty Python’s Meaning of Life (1983) A man is allowed to choose the manner of his own death. He duly chooses to be chased to his death off a cliff by semi-naked women. 5. Flash Gordon (1980) The death of Ming the Merciless, impaled on the spike on the front of his own spaceship, was both elaborate and a bit homoerotic in the context of the film. Not that there was anything camp about Flash Gordon at all. No way.

words : Mark Williams | image : Jaki Jo


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My two-for-SIX-pound life By Lucy Hancock

So... it is back to the old routine and utter turmoil of procrastination. It is the first week of uni and I have already exhausted the BBC iPlayer. ‘Eastender’s’ and ‘Snog, Marry Avoid’ have begun to look appealing, which means that I have reached the bottom of the academic barrel far quicker than I had hoped or imagined. I’d love to say that the social life really balances things out, but then I would be lying. I have spent an awful lot of my university life so far standing in a crowded, sweaty Walkabout-type pub or club, turning my mouth WKD blue while willing myself to want to dance or at the very least muster an awkward shuffle. It is the kind of drinking where your eyes go wide, you get brain freeze and you’re standing there wishing and praying you were more drunk so you could at least do something. Fat Man Scoop is playing and everyone is dressed in some kind of hilarious fancy dress. There is a cave-girl, a playboy bunny, a nurse, all the classic side-splitters and they are having a WILD time. Carelessly throwing their hands in the air and dancing round pillars pretending to be a strippers, garter flapping in the wind. You can’t talk to anyone because the DJ is raising one arm in the air to triumphantly signal he has just put on ‘Don’t Stop Me Now’ for the third time that evening (the crowd is mad for it) and the only people left out tend to be angsty lesbians and people being sick into their own pint, forgetting and chugging it back down again. I am supposed to enjoy being bumped and grinded on, and having a greasy chav rub his erection into my back while he grabs my boobs. I am supposed to throw my head back and cackle when a bog-eyed rugby player puts his knob on the table. Somehow I can never work up the energy or even determination to metaphorically piss into the wind and join them. I had heard about a really good house party going on just down the road and last night I decided it was time for a change. I must say that the alarm bells did start ringing when we reached the front door and I could neither hear the drone of wobbly bass lines, nor the hum of stimulating conversation. As I feared, our hosts were clustered around the doorway dressed up to the nines (complete with chandelier earrings) and had party bags lined up neatly on the table. There was an expectant silence and we all grimaced. “I brought wiiiiine....” I heard myself say, as I produced a bottle of oaked chardonnay that I had been warming in my armpit. My friend Tommy and I were then lead through the silent, empty hall into the ‘party zone’ and introduced to a host of new faces that were far from pleased to see us. We had heard that a couple of our friends were in the garden, so after briefly insulting the Birthday girl, we dashed out the back door and into the garden, having still not relinquished the wine. They (all three of them) were already slumped at the table and greeted us with all the desperation of a very cool bunch of people. After drinking and games, followed by a lot more drinking games, we bowled back into the house where the remaining party animals were lined up on the sofa facing the wall. Like a whippet I made a beeline for the party bags and collected all the Chomps and Tommy gathered up the disco ball key-rings and put one in each of our ears (a la Elton) and we crashed out of the house while our new found oddball friend got his bike. The novelty of a racing bike was a little bit too much for me to resist, so I jumped on and started to pedal down the road, keyring still in my ear and singing the final verse of ‘Candle In The Wind’ quietly to myself. It was only when I reached a solid 20mph that I realised racing bikes don’t have brakes in the normal place. My chardonnay-soaked brain really let me down when it decided at that point that the workings of my chosen vehicle were beyond configuration. As I sped towards the main road the only possible solution I could muster was to crash into the curb and hope for the best. My comrades, still oblivious to my impending doom saw me trying to weave my way to a halt and finally ran to catch me up just at the moment that I no doubt lost the ability to procreate. The racing bike frame, it seems, is not the most forgiving for a straddled head-on collision, as I do believe I heard Jesus weeping as I landed firmly on the crossbar. He was still weeping when I waddled into the wrong seminar group the next morning, looking as rough as a badger’s armpit with garlic sauce on the back of my dress. Awesome.

BAKED BEANS When it comes to getting your foot in the door, even a toe, the Fashion industry is probably one of the toughest to crack, especially within the design sector. But, introducing Elnaz Nikani: for whom success and a bit of luck is flowing her way, and fast. Making waves with her rhinestone, crystal and studded embellished leggings, Niknani has created a style that can only be described as hot stuff, and to top it off, is appearing on hot legs. Florence Welch and Alice Dellal have a pair, both having spotted them on Niknani’s own legs at various parties or nights out. Niknani’s background is impressive. Studying at the London College of Fashion, she went on to intern for Viktor and Rolf in Amsterdam in 2007, even contributing to some of the catwalk designs. Ironically, Niknani claims she was actually pretty bad at sewing as a kid. “I have to say, my sister was much better than me. We used to make clothes for our dolls when we were little. I guess I’ve improved a lot since then!” and I can only agree. She’s even been commissioned by clients to freshen up and renew their old garments, by using rhinestones, studs and beads and embroidery. All sound peachy so far? Sure does. But there is a financial reality behind the success story so far. As Niknani states, “It’s obviously great that people like Florence and Alice have a pair of my leggings as it’s amazing exposure. But it does not necessarily mean a storm of sales will follow; my leggings are quite an acquired taste.” She can make seven sales in one month and none the next. “Being relentlessness and determined is key,” she says. When I ask her how she decided to make this a full-time creative pursuit, her answers echo my own when it comes to my artwork: your first piece of press coverage and a first sale mean so much to you in those early stages. “It was amazing to see my leggings in Tank magazine with a McQueen dress. That was when I knew I should try and make a go of this.” Niknani has since been in Vogue and is set to be in Russian Vogue next year. Currently in talks with a few buyers,


& CHAMPAGNE Niknani is hoping to be selling her leggings in shops in a few months time. Each pair of these eye-catching masterpieces is hand-sewn in a bespoke manner, with time, care and precision. They cost between £100 - £200 depending on what style you want and what materials are used. To join the mailing list or to order a bespoke pair, please contact elnazniknani@hotmail.com . I’ve just ordered mine: hot legs on the way!

words : Ruthie Holloway image: Elnaz Niknani

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W S E I R E E V N N E LI

R

O

We aren’t overly keen on reviews at Jack as those more discerning readers may have worked out already. We figure that if something is sh*t you just want to avoid it and if something’s meant to be good you want to have a listen to it. Simple. No big words, no patronising new concept music genres. Below is the code we have devised to help point you swiftly in the right direction. BIN - bin it, it’s sh*t. BURN - bother to download it for a listen. BOOM! - of course, the highest rating. BIN Chipmunk I Am Chipmunk As this smug little sh*t was awarded Best Hip Hop Act at this years joke awards ceremony previously known as the MOBOs, I suppose everyone is happy to have picked a 12 year old boy with a working knowledge of the Usborne Book of Rhyme as the saviour of UK Hip Hop. www.iamchipmunk.com

BURN Florence and the Machine You’ve Got The Love (The XX Remix) You can’t move for tripping over people throwing themselves at the feet of Forence Welch but this isn’t about her, it’s all about the The XX, who add crisp two-step drums and echoing vocals to this cover and make it sound amazingly like something from the heydays of 90s garage. www.florenceandthemachine.net BOOM! Various Artists Warp20 Box Set If anyone has got over a £100 spare in these cash strapped times, then I would advise you to invest it wisely in this slab of audio history, which is released to celebrate Warp Records 20th anniversary and contains remixes and unreleased rarities across its massive seven discs. It’s safer then a bank. www.warp.net


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YOUR ADVERT HERE. EMAIL

K U . O C . K C A J S JOHN@WHO


Fur, Feathers & Tweed

images :Kristoffer Myhre | make up : Stephanie Gannon-Malcom stylists : Arti Mahakuperan| Lu O-F | assistant : Laura Hills models :Max at D1 models | Lynsey W | stockists page 72


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The Making of Our Pinata By Marco R Casadei As I was intending to go Mexican for the upcoming Cooking with my Greg Mexicalli Special, I decided to make a Piñata. My idea of a Piñata was a Donkey made of some type of material that you hit and sweets fall out of it, which is pretty much correct, except that these Pinata’s are not the traditional style which is essentially a star shaped object with kids party hats stuck to each point. While I love the idea of tradition I couldn’t help but love the idea of sculpting something using papier mache more. I checked the web for inspiration and saw some crazy designs but we decided after much deliberation to make a great big f*ckoff SKULL like in the Mexican festival El Día de los Muertos or Day of the Dead. This proved harder than originally anticipated.

STEP 1 – FIND A BALLOOOOOON

STEP 2 – FIND NEWSPAPER

First of all we needed to find a big balloon, which once blown up would provide a base for the papier mache. Both myself and my Mexican compadre Alberto searched the 99p Store on Seven Sisters Road high and low for a good 3 minutes before we realised that there were no big balloons, just a bag of assorted shapes and sizes. ‘Perhaps we’ll get lucky with a biggun?’, we thought. Next stop, PAPER…

Yes believe it or not we forgot to get newspaper and my raids of the recycling boxes in the local area proved unfruitful as the recycling guys had emptied them this very morning. So, after the 99p Store I drove into the massive newspaper dumpster and collected enough newspaper to make 75 Pinatas. We had some great photos of this but unfortunately Alberto left his camera on the bus while he was doing somersault on the bars and impressing some chick. We also found a selection of beautifully decorated Hookah pipes that the Hubbly Bubbly guys across the road had thrown out and I nabbed them too. You never know when you need to Hookah.


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STEP 3 – BLOW UP BALLOON Back at Planet Holloway we blew up many balloons only to discover that none of them were very big. How very disappointing. So we decided to stick a few together with sellotape and see what happens. What happened is it looked like a bunch of grapes. Sh*t.

STEP 4 – RE-EVALUATE YOUR DESIGN If you are still following our method I think you are in big trouble. My whole credos is to NEVER turn back. SOOOO our bunch of grapes kinda took the form of a Cyclops and we went with it.


STEP 5A – MAKE SOME STICKY PASTE

STEP 5B – TEAR PAPER INTO STRIPS

All you need is flour and water. Thankfully we had some in the cupboard, probably from previous tenants. We cooked up 1 cup of flour for every 2 cups of water. The whole concept of cups baffles me as they are all different sizes BUT I went with the most medium sized one I could find and chucked in a few of those. The pan was on a low heat and we stirred it until the paste looked thick but not too thick. Oh yes and it helps to sift the flour into the cup otherwise it goes LUMPY in the pan! Insider tip.

Oh dear God this is boring. It definitely helps if you are drinking and at least one girl is wearing a bikini.


STEP 6 – PAPIER MACHE! So enjoyable and therpautic. Dip the paper strips into the paste and smooth them onto the balloons. Make sure the paste is not too hot as you will burst them! A cheeky little trick is to put a paper clip tied to a piece of string on the inside so when it drys you have got your thing to hang it up with. Also you must leave a little hole somewhere so you can fill it up with sweets when it is finished. Do a couple of layers and leave to dry. This will probably take all night or if you are patient and have drinks USE A HAIR DRYER. Once dry stick on another 1 or 2 layers but not more than 4.

STEP 7 – RE-EVALUATE YOUR DESIGN

Once the paper is on there it is like seeing faces in clouds and at one stage I considered creating a 4 faced horror head. Instead I saw some kind of face and went with it by building up layers of paper for a nose and building up the eye sockets. Before I knew it…. IT LOOKED LIKE THE F*CKING DEVIL!

STEP 8 – PAINT IT! Now we knew we were making a devil we painted it in cheap black, red and yellow poster paint. Lovely. We considered making horns but it had taken us sometime to get to this stage so we just chucked a sombrero on it instead. I think you get the picture.

STEP 9 – BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF IT! We’re not doing this until we shoot the episode. I’m curious how much of a pounding it can take. That’s what she said. Ahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. www.thisisjack.tv

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ITEMS : Lips & eye tea cup : stylists own | Innefectually mended tea pot and cup : £165 and £85 : Naomi Schillinger at SDC Gallery : www.sdcgallery.org | White twig handle tea cup with gold inside : £54 : Bodo Sperlein for Yauatcha Atelier : www.yauatcha-atelier.com | Palomino gold horses tea cup and Pretty Ugly Graffiti tea cup : £20 and £28 : We Love Kaoru Made in England : Luna & Curious : www.welovekaoru.com | Black and silver skull & crossbones tea cup : Denise Cook for Crazy Creations : www.crazy-creations.co.uk |Bumble bee carrying cream expresso tea cup : £43 : Gemma Wightman at SDC gallery as above | Blue Brimmed sugar pot & jug


Time For Tea

At Last the Secret is Out ,

WH Auden’s

set : £86 : Louisa Taylor : SDC gallery as above | Fluro yellow/pink-inside sculpted tea cup from Maison Sauvage : www.maisonsauvage.de | SET : Mannequin hands : customised by stylist with oak white spray paint : Body Line : www.bodyline.ltd.uk : Handmade English garden wallpaper in black : £90 : Dupenny : www.dupenny.com | Moss-green Tureg rug : £395 : Heals : www.heals.co.uk | Brianza pink velvet : £36 per metre : from Sanderson Fabrics : www.sanderson-uk.com : Red material backdrop : Rowena by Sanderson : £32.00 per metre :www.sanderson-uk.comwords & styling : Emma Kay | images : John Kightley photography

“At last the secret is out,
as it always must come in the end, The delicious story is ripe to tell an intimate friend;
Over tea-cups and in the square the tongue has its desire;
Still waters run deep, my dear,
there’s never smoke without fire”

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Cup Of Tea For London

“It’s always tea time” mused the late Lewis Carroll, Author of ubiquitous children’s classic ‘Alice in Wonderland’ and inspiration behind this months interiors shoot. When Who’s Jack started to consider the shoot in-hand along less fantastical lines, it threw up all sorts of quintessentially British notions of tea drinking, in times of trouble Britain has always reached for the kettle. With over 165 million Brits imbibing a decent cuppa each day one can’t help but think its something of a national obsession. Perhaps the most curious thing about our tea drinking is the ritualistic nature with which we consume it. From secretaries pouring it into corporate branded cups for stressed bosses, mothers filling novelty mugs, as children run riot, and grand parents, having


the neighbours over for a cup and a natter, so entrenched is it in British culture, we barely even realise we’re doing it. An almost knee-jerk reaction to any crisis we might trip over. So maybe it was no coincidence that at the London Design Week shows (Tent, Designers Block and 100% Design), in these recessionary times, there was an unquenchable thirst for teacups of all shapes and descriptions. From Maison Sauvage’s avante guard handle-free fluro-insided, to the witty and subversive We Love Kaouru’s ‘pretty ugly’ graffiti cup and saucer, there was a deluge of nicely designed tea sets. But to be

a bit less tea-specific, it seemed that creativity, rather being hindered by budget cuts, credit crunches and other stock market buzzwords, conversely, appeared to have been unleashed, the fresh roots of British innovation poking through for all to see. The word on the lifestyle street was: no commercial money was being squandered on client-campaign-friendly frippery, let’s just do what we fancy. Generic marketing restraints previously imposed on a supposedly free capitalist market had been lifted, and prototypes of unlikely objects surfaced, much to everyone’s delight. Brit-born, Noami Schillinger’s ‘Ineffectually Mended’ teapot, cup and saucer, which took centre stage at our shoot, elegantly treads the fine and self-constructed line that lies between art and design. Does it have a purpose? Is it art? I guess that depends on how you look at things…

I’ve always thoughts there were two sides to every story, for me, there was a sense of divine justice when bankers worst affected by the recession sold off their design classics at Lots Road, Chelsea.There was a stampede of poorly paid stylists and interiors journalists, willing to live on beans, furiously buying them up. So not all of this financial chaos has been so unbalanced. If the rich are quite literally selling off the things they don’t understand to those who have pined for them. A sort of coincidental Robin Hood syndrome , if you like. The gentle but perceptible shift to a focus on the intricate hangs in the design-air. People living in hard times want something a bit special. Small, jolly things that cheer life up. And who knows, maybe the humble teacup might become to the mid-noughties what slogan t-shirts were to the nineties? Perish the thought. Cup of tea, old chap?

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Designers in the spotlight

Pam Hogg Bora Aksu

words : Hannah Rochell

If you hadn’t already heard, underwear as outerwear was the big trend that emerged from the SS10 shows in September. Come spring, we will all be parading around in corsets and bloomers. New York had bras over blouses at Marc Jacobs, Milan and Paris were teeming with big knickers at Prada and Dior, and London, well, our fine city did away with underwear altogether and just made do with sheer tops and plenty of breasts on show. I lost count very early on in London Fashion Week just how many designers were using nipples as accessories. At Bora Aksu, there was more of the same, but the Turkish designer kept necklines high, with an almost Edwardian feel that saved the collection from looking slutty. Lace featured strongly in black, white and blush pink, styled into pussy-bow blouses or tutu dresses. There was a hint of Balmain in the shoulders of the lovely cropped jackets – a black one in particular that looked as though it could have stolen its gold conical shoulders from a Jean Paul Gaultier bra circa 1991. The part-fish-net-part-sequin leggings that were worn with every outfit (particularly fetching under voile harem pants) will no doubt be popping up in a Topshop near you before long. And I for one will desperately be trying to style my hair into just-out-of-bed messy French plaits, as sported by the models in the show. Just don’t expect me (or, I suspect, many others) to wear a sheer black T-shirt without a nice black bra underneath. (images above) During a week when I found myself surrounded by far too many people taking fashion far too seriously (it’s just clothes people), it was with some relief and with a glass of champagne that I fell into the Pam Hogg show, held in an underground car park on London’s Embankment. Before the show, I found myself in a Boy George/Bobby Gillespie sandwich in the queue (George, a veritable GIANT, was proudly introducing people to a friend that he “met in the clink”). The Rock N’ Roll calibre of the other front rowers (Siouxsie Sioux, Roisin Murphy and, er, Martine McCutcheon) was impressive. Oh, and there was a Geldof. Obviously. (The Geldof in question, Peaches, was wearing a Pam Hogg pink and silver jumpsuit which, surprisingly, didn’t look too Judy Jetson until she found herself on the street in the rain after the show and was unable to hail a futuristic flying cab). And so to the clothes; more breasts, the ubiquitous catsuits that the label is so famous for in blocks of black, white, silver and red, a couple of Elvis-inspired white studded ensembles, Hogg doesn’t exactly design for Everywoman. It has to be said though, that the all-in-ones looked pretty incredible, and there was even one “wearable” outfit (a burnt orange draped dress) thrown into the collection for good measure. Perhaps Pam Hogg is, albeit slowly, trying to break free of her own body conscious mould.


a l i Le : s e k i l

words: Leila Dante Hartley

London Fashion week Lowdown

Armed with a barrage of invitations, Who’s Jack headed to the beautiful Somerset House for London Fashion Week in September. Here we provide you with our account - the shows, the trends, what’s hot and who’s not for Spring/Summer 2010.

Favourite show David Koma only graduated this year but has already won the Harrods Design Award and the Vauxhall Fashion Scout Merit Award. His collection comprises of ultra-sexy cocktail dresses in vibrant shades of magenta, green, blue and yellow against a black or white canvas. Each piece is structured along the contours of the body creating a flattering shape with emphasis on the shoulders and hips. Inspired by mosaics, Koma adorns his designs with juicy coloured glass fusing and piping and panels of snake print leather, most effective in a vivid orange dress and black trousers. Best invite We loved Carolyn Massey’s interpretation of the slogan canvas bag phenomenon with her ‘This Bag is an Invitation’ shopper. Her show proved equally as practical with the ultimate utility backpacks with pockets for everything you could ever possibly need on a camping trip. Least catchy trend Don’t get us wrong, the ruffles and frills at the KANG st show were very pretty, and we loved the cage dresses, but flamenco? A trend? Really? Model of the Season Sessilee Lopez walked for all the big names this season. She looks amazing on as well as off the catwalk. What the boys will be wearing On our wish list from menswear day are James Long’s quilted black leather trousers. The knee pads and side edge details will ensure you don’t look like an ageing rock star when you don these bad boys. Long has also introduces clutch bags for men in black and green leather.

What the girls will be wearing Jaeger was a highlight of the season and we can guarantee you’ll fall in love with the gold sequined harem trousers (also Peaches’ favourite – if you care) and the dirty pink extra wide-leg, highwaisted shorts.

Best hair Ramon Gurillo’s models were the hottest on the catwalk with their Aveda backcombed bed-head hair sweeping over the shoulders of scantily knit dresses and jumpers. Best makeup It’s great to see that British fashion still has a sense of humour. For Carolyn Massey’s show ‘The Boys of Dungeness’ the makeup team at Illamasqua sent a haul of traditionally sunburnt English boys down the catwalk, conjuring up a image of quaint seaside holidays and buckets and spades. Pick of the exhibition We know Who’s Jack gone slightly feather mad recently but we fell in love with these bags from Angel Jackson at the exhibition.

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: t r e l A d Tren s r e s u o r T h t g n e L Ankle

WORST


t s r o W d Best an Dressed

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images : Boyd Alexander



Winter moves in

Photographer : Joel Dart Stylist : Sara Darling Make Up : Valerie Saint-Amand Hair : Angela Plummer Model :Rose @ Storm Stockists page 72



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INSTORE WARS words : Harry Amos | images : Barry Macdonald


FOR A LONG TIME NOW THE INSTORE GIG HAS BEEN THE GOTO PLACE TO GET UP CLOSE AND STALKY WITH THE ARTISTS WE LOVE BEST. WHETHER YOU ARE DEDICATED ENOUGH TO CAMP OUT ON OXFORD STREET TO CATCH A FLASH OF LADY GAGA, COOL ENOUGH TO KNOW WHEN THE DEITIES OF THE INDIE PANTHEON PLOP IN TO DO A SECRET SHOW OR LUCKY ENOUGH TO STUMBLE IN ON SOMEONE NEW AND SPECIAL PLAYING A START-UP SET, THEY ALWAYS PRESENT AN EXCITING EARLY NIGHT OPTION FOR A LAZY WEEKDAY. SO, IN THE NAME OF INTRODUCING AN UNNECESSARY SPIRIT OF COMPETITION INTO THE ENTIRELY SUBJECTIVE, WE AT WHO’S JACK DECIDED TO FIND OUT WHICH OF THE CAPITAL’S MUSIC SHOPS WAS KING OF THE INSTORE CASTLE.

(3) Banquet records 52 Eden Street, Kingston upon Thames. We like Banquet Records here at Jack Towers but they just seem to have got it ever so slightly wrong. Its small, its messy, its sweaty, its loud, it’s everything you want an instore venue to be. Unfortunately, its also in Kingston-Upon-Thames. That is over 14 miles from Old street. I had to go through Richmond Park to get there, I saw deer in Richmond Park before I got there. It was so far away I wasn’t sure whether or not I needed Euro’s to buy anything in Banquet Records. Great effort Banquet, just shift it into town a few zones.

(and I mean the VERY best) as well as a dazzling and exciting array of upcoming, often unheard talent. It’s just that the place feels too big, the ceilings are too high and the stage too constructed. It never captures that cracking voyeuristic sensation of feeling as if you’re watching a great band rehearsing live. (1) Puregroove 6-7 West Smithfield Pure Groove really is a terrible record store. They can’t have more than 20 records on sale in the whole shop, all good mind you, but there aren’t many. Apart from a delicious (though slightly pricey) cup of Chocolat Chaud, Pure Groove’s greatest claim to fame is that, in our opinion, it is the capital’s single

(5)

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FOPP Ok, so it’s not entirely fair to judge poor ailing Fopp at the moment, they are staggering back to their feet after a financial bailout from HMV. Then again, they were an independent music store with a great reputation for instore gigs, a pioneer and a professional at the instore game. It was one of the very best things about them. At the time of writing, Fopp seem to have no instores planned, which is almost as surprising as it is disappointing. We can only hope this grumpy old Scotsman of the record store world gets back on it pretty damn quick. (4) HMV 150 Oxford St HMV’s instore experience is not particularly friendly. The only reason you go to instore gigs is to get close to the bands you like and maybe desperately try and hobnob it with them afterwards or something, but the whole thing with HMV is altogether too impersonal. Think excited kids, grumpy and suspicious security, queuing and those little cardboard cut out adverts everywhere. Nightmare. (3)

(2) Rough Trade East Dray walk, off Brick lane. Rough trade is always going to be the Capital’s, if not the Nation’s, best independent record store. It’s big, it’s well planned and it’s well stocked: everything you want in a really good shop. Unfortunately to get the coveted Who’s Jack hastily-titled, Award for Best Instore Venue, a shop has to be more than that, it has to be an amazing performance space too. Don’t get me wrong, Rough Trade get the very best bands in

greatest venue for instore gigs. It’s sized in such a way that when a small crowd turns up it doesn’t feel empty and when a greater number of people attend it can really buzz with excitement. I’ve seen people spilling out of the door onto the pavement and standing on bollards outside, peering through the windows to get a view of bands playing. The sound really is first rate and the bands that play there span the genres and are consistently well chosen. Bands seem to love it just as much as the punters and it shows; I’ve never seen a dull performance in all my trips there. Pure Groove, you are our number one.


GET THAT LOOK : BIANCA FROM EASTENDERS. PUFFA JACKETS HAVE HIT THE SHOPS AND WHO’S JACK LOVES THEM. WHAT’S THAT I HEAR YOU CRY? YOU THREW OUT THE GIANT, SHINY, SILVER PUFFA YOU OWNED AS A CHILD? BET YOU’RE REGRETTING THAT NOW! LUCKILY FOR YOU START LONDON ON RIVINGTON STREET IS CURRENTLY STOCKING A GREAT SELECTION OF MONCLER JACKETS FOR MEN AND WOMEN WITH LUXURIOUS DOWN FEATHER PUFFS IN A GREAT SELECTION OF COLOURS. FOR THE LIGHTER OF POCKET, YOU CAN FIND AN EQUALLY PUFFED BUT NOT INFLATED SELECTION ON THE HIGH STREET. A PUFFA JACKET WILL BE THE WARMEST THING YOU WEAR THIS WINTER. CHECK MINE OUT ON THIS IS JACK TV, IT’S LIKE WALKING AROUND IN A DUVET.

GET THAT LOOK 1

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£195.00| www.www.tedbaker.com

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£32.99 | www.missguided.co.uk

£55.00 | www.fatface.com

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words : Leila Dante Hartley | www.start-london.com | 1,2,3,4, : www.moncler.it | www.thisisjack.tv


CHILDREN OF THE 90S words : Jeremy Williams image : Christopher Hall

You must be blind not to have noticed that 2009 has been dominated by the 1980s. Having discussed the strength of the 80s craze, a friend pointed out that when we reach the end of an era, we always look back to one that went before. Having been born in the 80s, I remember little about the stylings and sounds of the period. I have found, however, that the current retro trend is slowly progressing to things I remember far more fondly. The 90s are finally making their come back. The Iron Lady, Margaret Thatcher, was still in command of a Conservative Britain as it headed into the 90s. Band Aid II were at the top of the charts with their Pete Waterman-produced remake of ‘Do They Know It’s Christmas?’, which featured the likes of Kylie, Sonia, Bananarama, Cliff Richard and Marti Pellow. Fast forward ten years and the King of Spin, Tony Blair, led a New Labour Nation into the Noughties. Cliff Richard scored the penultimate number one of the decade with the controversial recording of ‘Millenium Prayer’, only to be knocked off the top spot at the turn of the year by Westlife’s ‘Seasons In The Sun’. On such a superficial level, it might appear that only Sir Cliff remained consistent throughout the 90s, so I thought I’d take a deeper look at what really went on. In a decade that saw the fall of the Soviet Union, the creation of the Euro, South Africa’s first Black President and the death of the People’s Princess, the creative world had its fair share of ups and downs. As the decade turned, the world watched as Nelson Mandela was finally freed from imprisonment and the Hubble Space Telescope was launched. At the same time, as John Major ended Margaret Thatcher’s 13 year leadership, Britain entered the drug-crazed club culture of Techno and Hard House. As hard class drugs increased in popularity, warehouse parties and hardcore beats swept the nation. ‘Ebeneezer Goode’, the controversial chart topping single by The Shamen received a radioplay ban in 1991 for its double entendre Ecstasy promotion in the chorus line, “Ezer Goode, Ezer Goode.” If the start of the 90s introduced colour to the world, as time passed the appeal of bright, spangled clothing only increased. Will Smith always dressed to impress in ‘Fresh Prince of Bel Air’ while Mayim Bialik became a best friend to everyone with her portrayal of ‘Blossom’. American teen dramas proved to be all the rage, with ‘Beverly Hills 90210’ becoming an international phenomenon, spawning


numerous posters and making household names of its stars. By the mid 90s, Major was fast losing popularity in the UK, whereas Bill Clinton, who had been successfully elected in the 1992, US Elections, was gaining a global seal of approval. Succeeding Bush, whose popularity had waned during the first Gulf War, Clinton had an easier task on his hands. As the global mood grew darker, so did the music industry. Techno and Hard House moved into Grunge and Britpop. Out of America rose Kurt Cobain and Nirvana, while the UK spawned a battle between Oasis and Blur. The Boglin was born and made to scare in a gloopy, plasticated manner. Similarly, TV dramas went from the fluffy to the serious. Although it only lasted one series, the melodramatic ‘My So-Called Life’, shaped teenage dramas for the next generation and made stars of its leads Claire Danes and Jared Leto. That was just the start of a darker period. As Marilyn Manson’s popularity grew, there was a public outcry in the media against negative influences on a young and impressionable generation. Minds were warped and fingers were firmly pointed after the Columbine Massacre. Although somehow ‘Reservoir Dogs’, ‘Pulp Fiction’, ‘Trainspotting’ and ‘Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels’, which all glamorised the guns and drugs culture, escaped blame. But worry not, Celine Dion was always there to ensure that we ‘Think Twice’ even if we are about to say “Goodbye Jack”. Sex was literally on the tip of everyone’s tongues, as TV got naughty. Starting with 1991’s ‘The Lover’s Guide’, suddenly sex and gratuitous nudity were the flavour of the day. From Antoine de Caunes and Lola Ferrari to Keith Chegwin, everyone wanted to get their kit off. Bill Clinton, it appeared, fell into the same trap by revealing his private parts to “that woman”. And, still dressed in her school uniform, Britney Spears joined with the minister’s daughter Jessica Simpson to speak out about the virtues of waiting till you are married. As Tony Blair promised with the reprisal of D:Ream’s ‘Things Will Only Get Better’, the UK headed towards the end of the 90s with a pop resurgence. What Stock, Aitken and Waterman had made popular during the 80s was back with a vengeance. The likes of Take That and Eternal had kept the pop world alive, but 1995 saw the explosion of the Spice Girls. The short lived, loud and in your face Girl Power burst, brought the light back and even helped to launch the new television channel 5. Numerous girl bands were attempted in their mould

from Girl Thing to 21st Century Girls, but only double-denimed B*Witched and attempted-cool All Saints made the grade. Soon enough, everyone was playing with their Tamagotchi and laughing at ‘Friends’. Steps were at the forefront of pop and the child-friendly S Club 7 dominated the screens. If the 90s were going to go, they were not going to do it quietly.

CHILDREN OF THE 90S It is strange how time flies. The 1990s started almost 20 years ago, and so the 90s babies are now entering adulthood. I asked a couple of real 90s kids to create an image that reminded them of growing up in the 90s. ANTONY POTHECARY d.o.b – 13.05.1990

I chose to use a yoyo because I can safely say yoyos were a huge part of most children’s’ lives at one stage (myself included). Like all the toy crazes of the 90s they were in and out quite quickly but were nevertheless massive. I remember the situation rose to such a scale that in my school there was a big white line painted across the playground and yoyo users had to stay on one side and non-yoyo pupils on the other side to avoid “yoyo related injury”. www.alfieordinary.blogspot.com CHRISTOPHER HALL d.o.b – 09.09.1988 Being a child of 88 means that for me the 90s was the decade of my childhood. When I come to think of it, all I seem to remember is colour, a real wealth of colour. Everything was surrounded in it - from clothes to TV, food to music, toys to people! Any memory I can recall seems to be lit by a thousand floodlights with a bubblegum pink filter. Having given the new kids a bit of a go, I decided to have a bash myself. JEREMY WILLIAMS d.o.b – 11.11.1982 I was born too late to really experience the early 90s, though my first clubbing experience was in a warehouse club in Birmingham. I wanted to try capturing the techno/hard house era of the 90s without much experience of it. Everything I have read refers to blurred memories caused by the drug culture at the time.

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THEATRE PERfORMANCE

award-winning Macbeth and Six Characters in Search of an Author, King Lear, No Man’s Land and Oliver! A perfectly topical choice for this November. Enron at the Royal Court Theatre Sloane Square, SW1 Box office : 0207 565 5000 www.royalcourttheatre.com

THE SECRET words : Jeremy

A secret is defined as the act of keeping or hiding information from other individuals. Everyone has them, be they big or small. Most people aren’t good at keeping them, unable to resist the urge to tell someone something that they shouldn’t. A few weeks ago, I successfully auditioned for a role in Danielle Coleman’s forthcoming piece ‘Secrets’, which is to be staged at the Cock Tavern Theatre in Kilburn from November 17th. Coleman is working on the premise that everyone has secrets. She hopes to mix fact with fiction, by working alongside actors and their well-kept secrets to create an explosive piece of theatre. Coleman has already explored the world of the shrouded in her one-man piece “Out Of The Box”, but felt the personal could be touched on more intimately within a group setting. The piece is unsurprisingly, currently clouded in mystery. Though I shall be performing in the piece, I am still unaware of whom I’ll be playing and even what secrets Coleman will be able to draw out of me to aid her writing. Given that my fellow performers are in a similar position to me, I have asked them to contribute a photo with a simple explanation, which reveals something they would have rather kept hidden.

Jeremy Williams ‘I remember…’

THE GLOBE GIRLS Shireen Walton ‘Innocent until ‘proven’ guilty’

ENRON

Danielle Coleman’s “Secrets” opens on November 17th Cock Tavern Theatre. www.secretstheplay.co.uk and www.cocktaverntheatre.com

Helen Briscoe : ‘Love can’t always be spoken’

Enron, a play about one of the most infamous scandals in financial history. Enron offers classical tragedy alongside savage comedy, it reviews the tumultuous 1990s and casts new light on the financial situation we find ourselves in today. Fusing music, movement and video, Enron is directed by Headlong Theatre’s Artistic Director Rupert Goold in this his Royal Court directorial debut. His recent credits include the

Drag queen cabaret at it’s very best. We saw the Globe Girls perform at Gilgamesh about a year ago now and we were pretty much as impressed by them as we were by the Gilgamesh menu (a massive favourite of ours). The show we saw included dancing on tables, singing Happy Birthday to an 80 year old and the highest kicks I’ve ever seen. The Globe Girls have recently teamed up with another dance group called Pecs and Pearls so we are especially excited to see this new addition to the line up! The Globe Girls can be found soon at Kensington Roof Gardens and come December they will be back at Gilgamesh - we can’t wait. www.globegirls.co.uk www.pearlsandpecs.co.uk


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Jack’s top five: BROWNIES words & images : Ruthie Holloway

No.1. Kitchen and Pantry. 14 Elgin Crescent, Notting Hill, W11 2HX Big leather sofas, Wi-Fi and friendly staff make chilling out in this cosy cake and coffeehouse extremely easy. More importantly they have the biggest, gooiest chocolate brownies I’ve ever seen or tasted. The first bite is heaven, the last may leave you feeling like you have eaten ten of them. No.2 Macondo. Unit 2b, 8-9 Hoxton Square, N1 6NU www.macondo.co.uk A Latino café-cum-bar-gallery with a calming interior and homely atmosphere. Macondo is perfect for lounging about whilst taking big mouthfuls of their warm, rich and tasty brownies in between sips of your cappuccino or hot chocolate. To top it off they play some great Latino tunes as well as exhibiting art to feast your eyes upon. No.3 Leon. 3 Crispin Place, Spitalfields, E1 6DW When you’ve had a fresh and amazingly healthy main course at Leon, how can you not treat yourself to dessert? Amidst a buzzing vibe, smiley staff and a wide choice of desserts, my chocolate brownie was devoured so fast, that I don’t recollect how I got it out its packaging. Small, but just enough after a hefty main, this choc brownie is reassurance that good things really do come in small packages. No.4 ESCA. 160 Clapham High Street, SW4 7UG www.escauk.com A simple interior with communal tables makes this cafe and charcuterie a lovely place to stop by. With a mouth-watering variety of cakes and tarts, Esca will sell you a slice or the whole cake should your eyes win over your stomach. Their brownies are chunky, filled with choc chips and melt-inyour-mouth yumminess. No.5 Del Aziz. 24 Vanston Place, Fulham, SW6 1AX www.delaziz.co.uk You can’t pass the window of this boutique/bakery /restaurant without noticing their many delights. The selection of cakes is large, from meringues and muffins to cheese and carrot cakes. It’s chic but warm interior lets you take your time over your brownie and watch the world go by.

FEATHERS FUR AND TWEED PAGES 34 - 45 PAGES 34 & 35 Lyndsey wears : White Blouse : BCBG Max Azria : www.mywardrobe.com | Skirt : Ted Baker : www.tedbaker.com Fur Collar : H & M : www.hm.com |Thigh High Black Boots : Asos : www.asos.com | Mittens : White Stuff : www.whitestuff.com Max wears : V neck Black Jumper : Robe di Kappa : www. my-wardrobe.com | Stone Chinos : Asos : www.asos.com | Tweed Jacket : stylists own | Blue Shoes : www.my-wardrobe.com | Mouse Necklace : RP/Encore : www.rpencore. com | Scarf : Stylist’s own PAGE 37 Lyndsey wears : Grey Jewelled Coat : Paul Smith at www. mywardrobe.com | Black Boots : Finsk : www.finsk.com PAGE 38 Lyndsey wears : Hat : American Apparel : www. store. americanapparel.co.uk | Floral Dress : Topshop : www.topshop.com | Grey Wool Socks : Falke at My Tights : www. MyTights.com/Falke | Grey & Black Cardigan : River Island : www.riverisland.com | Belt : Topshop : www.topshop.com | Black Boots : Asos : www.asos.com Max wears : Scarf : Burberry at My Wardrobe : www.mywardrobe.com | Waistcoat Jumper : White Stuff : www. whitestuff.com | Maroon Trousers : Urban Outfitters : www. urbanoutfitters.com | Cardigan : Gant Loafers : Topman : www.topman.com PAGE 41 Lyndsey wears : Black Lace Dress : Jaeger www.jaeger. co.uk | Working Clock Necklace : www.fairytalesandpostitnotes.com | Black studded boots : Office : www.office.co.uk | Brown Knee high tights : Trasparenze at wwwmytights. com | Feather Bag : River Island : www.riverisland.com Max wears : Coat : Jaeger : www.jaeger.co.uk | Boots : Topman : www.topman.com | Maroon Jumper : Ted Baker : www.tedbaker.com | Jeans : H &M : www.hm.com | Bag : Barbor : www.my-wardrobe.com PAGE 43 Max wears : Jacket : Ted Baker : www.tedbaker.com | Grey Jumper : Nerve : www.saturdaycasuals.co.uk/brands/ Nerve.htm PAGE 40 & 42 Lyndsey wears : Pink Waist Skirt : Ted Baker : www.tedbaker.com | Brown Waisted Belt : Twenty8Twelve at www. mywardrobe.com | Riding Boots : Day Birger et Mikkelsen at www.mywardrobe.com | Pocket compass necklace : Fairy Tles and Post It Notes www.fairytalesandpostitnotes. com | Feather headpiece : RP/Encore : www.rpencore.com | Brown Tights : Falk at www.mytights.com Max wears : Blue Collar Shirt : YMC : www.my-wardrobe. com | Red Braces : Topman : www.topman.com | Jacket : Woolrich : www.woolrich.com | Grey & Red Scarf : Ralf Lauren : www.my-wardrobe.com | Flat Cap : Best of British : www.asos.com | Brown Boots : Dune : www.dune.co.uk

WINTER MOVES IN PAGES 58 - 71 PAGE 58 Black leather vest- Gemma Slack : £368.20 : www.gemmaslack.com | Black leather hotpants- Gemma Slack £140 Silver necklace : Customised by stylist | Black leather gloves- Stylists own PAGE 59 Nude mesh top- Molessa £400 : www.molessa.co.uk PAGE 60 Silver Bishi Pants : Ada Zanditon, POA : www.adazanditon.com | ‘Donella’ boots- : Beatrix Ong | www.beatrixong. com PAGE 61 Silver spaceman jacket : Bernard Chandran : £650 : www. bernardchandran.com | Grey footless leggings : Aminaka Wilmont, POA : www.net-s-porter.com | Black leather beltStylists own PAGE 70 Silver lace dress : Luisa Beccaria, 2940 euros : www.luisabeccaria.com | Silver necklace and knuckleduster- Stylists own


A segmented novel

By Marco Casadei Image by James Lightfoot 10th October Champagne Supernova I walk from Brick Lane up to Liverpool Street in quiet contemplation, looking for a nice place to sit. I see a new piazza and follow my nose until I see a lonely slab of marble just next to a newly sculpted pond and fountain. I sit and realise I am nestled wonderfully between four hulking ogres of commerce, standing tall and puncturing the clouds, proving to the heavens that greed and selfishness are still considered virtues in 2006. But everyone needs to live right? Correct. Not everyone needs a BMW though or that poorly fitted pinstripe suit I see on that overweight pig for that matter. I take advantage of the space and time by lying down and propping my head up with my hand, slowly sipping and enjoying this well crafted Polish beer in my hand. I think about my previous life as a desk jockey and don’t miss it for an instant. Yeah money money money rocked my world but I traded it all for this can and the sun on my face and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Perhaps this is why I am currently getting so much attention, lazing on a sunny afternoon when I should be tied to a desk like the flurry of idiots floating around eating sandwiches in their pitiful breaks. I lock eyes with a portly gentleman in his forties; no doubt he is working his way up the ladder, senior management already perhaps. He got that bonus, an increase in his share portfolio and is considering signing off the iPod upgrade his wife wants for the company car he blagged to keep her happy. Just keep buying her gifts, she’ll never know you fucked that boy in Thailand. Unless someone sends her a letter of course. What would he say if he knew I could read his mind? “Hey dude, get the fuck out of my mind” “AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH” I would say, filling his head up till it burst with laughter. Maybe he assumes that I am doing that anyway, laughing at him, his brain, his overweight frame. Why wouldn’t I, I am not him and I’ll want to be. But he can be fat if he wants, why should I care. I look down at my subtle paunch. Its on its way baby. I lie back and let my eyelids close as the sun swallows me whole. The leaves rustle in the branches reaching over me.

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Hmmmmm, maybe everyone thinks I’m a tramp. I open my eyes and check my attire. A well dressed, good-looking tramp maybe. Is that an oxymoron? I go to sleep holding my can and I don’t wake until something or someone pokes my face with what I think is the back end of a wasp but on closer inspection is actually a child’s finger. The mother apologises and I tell her through blurred eyes that it’s ok. I need to get up anyway, the beer made me lazy. “Thanks for waking me mademoiselle.” I tell the pretty little girl, while getting up off my bed of stone and I give her a smile. I glance at the mother who is looking down at her daughter, as looks back up she apologises again. “Hey, seriously you did me a favour, if I stay around here any longer someone will think I’m a bum and call the police.” “A bum in a fitted suit, I don’t think so.” she says pushing her hair back behind her left ear with a smile, drawing attention to a perfectly sculpted cheek and beautifully coloured bright eyes that had I not been colour blind would have loved to describe in precise detail. I am suddenly conscious that my hair is flat so I risk a quick tussle hoping she doesn’t realise I am being quite self-conscious and throw my empty can into a bin. “Which way you heading?” I ask as casually as I could, my mind racing to think of something clever, witty and funny that would make this woman fall in love with me but instead kicking myself for asking the blandest, most stalkerish question in the world. “Liverpool Street station.” she says back smiling, knowing I got tongue tied and reading me like I read so many others. She knows I know she knows this. It unsettles me and does nothing to quieten my sudden nervousness. F*cK how can I feel like this? Ridiculous. “So am I.” tumbles out my mouth but thankfully sounds playful and suddenly the whole situation is quite funny and we both laugh. We walk in the sun through uniformed soldiers of finance in perpetual silence, and onto Bishopsgate to find yet more of the same. “You wanna get a coffee?” I gamble, not wanting to let her go and also wanting to wake up a bit in the hope that my charm would kick back in. “Sure, why not?” she says looking at me smiling again. We walk to a little coffee shop with the little lady between us; purposefully avoiding the big chains in favour of a nice little place we can sit outside and get table service. I knew I was in love with Laura the moment I saw her and the memory of that day feels like last week. I look at my reflection in the mirror and I am all to aware this house is filled with ghosts. The sky held within the gold frame of this here reflection is almost as dark as the black hole in my heart and just as vicious, as the rain beats down against my window and thunder splits the atoms. I lie back and stare into the darkness. Yours Sincerely Arthur Cadaver

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Everyone loves a good conspiracy‌


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We at Who’s Jack try not to shy away from our somewhat cynical side. In fact I would probably say without much doubt, that most of us hold a small sense of pride in believing that our cynicism puts us one step ahead of the rest. We know that, upon being invited to the opening of a new club that promises to be different, buck trends, and generally change our lives, that this probably isn’t really the case. We know this and still go regardless, albeit smugly. But despite this cynicism meaning that conversation in the Jack office usually involves a dangerously high overuse of sarcasm, one area of cynicism that has always bemused me is that of the conspiracist. With the 40th anniversary of the Apollo 11 Moon Landings falling this year, I thought it prudent to look into why exactly these people were so insistent in disbelieving such world-changing events. There is obviously a part in each of us that likes a good conspiracy theory. It’s a little bit thrilling, and obviously a bit stupid. And while the idea of stumbling upon some huge revelation that we are all being deceived is pretty darned exciting, most of us are logical enough to realize that much of what is put forward in conspiracy theories is pure fantasy. There are so many arguments put forward to try and out the US moon

landings as a hoax that it truly is difficult to know where to begin. Does the flag wave in a ‘breeze’ when it’s raised? Why are there no stars in the background of the landing? Surely technology wasn’t advanced enough at this time? What about the radiation? Moon rocks anyone? Most of these points have been argued back and forth, by people much smarter (or possibly much more foolish) than I, but just for arguments sake, let’s get the most over-used one out of the way now: that bloody flag. The argument that it waves in the breeze when put in the ground is nothing to do with wind or breeze, but simply the fact that it is being screwed into the ground, which shakes the flag. End of. Conspiracy theories surround almost every big event in the world’s history. From the JFK assassination in 1963, to the 1947 Roswell alien landings, to Elvis Presley’s numerous posthumous sightings since his death back in 1977. That old cynic in me thinks that much of the time, these theories spring up about things that we wish WERE conspiracies. Who wouldn’t prefer it if JKF, Elvis or Diana had faked their death and were living quietly on a farm in Maine? But at some point common sense must take over even if it’s just a little bit. With the moon landing theories, just looking at the amount of astronauts all

over the world that have walked on the moon and are still alive to this day and the amount of moon rock specimens in museums, it is simply a hell of a lot to argue with. Some people actually took the time to put together a fully-fledged theory about how Paul McCartney died in a car crash in late 1966 and was replaced by a look-alike who remains ‘Paul’ until this day. I’m pretty sure these people have too much time on their hands. With conspiracists, it’s all about things ‘not being as they seem’. That we should all ‘look behind what is hidden in plain sight’. They think us everyday cynics are modern day fools. They scoff at us from behind blogs and poorly designed websites populated by unwatchable YouTube videos captioned by Comic Sans typefaces (shudder). At the end of the day, pop culture (which we are all a part of) loves a good conspiracy. Just look through Hollywood’s back catalogue. It’s no surprise that the ‘conspiracy theory’ is an ingrained part of the public consciousness. I just think, let’s not take it too far. Well, apart from Global Warming. I think it’s best for all of us if that actually is a conspiracy to tax us higher, instead of each and every one of us bringing the imminent end of the world that little bit closer with each spray of a deodorant can.

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words: Tom Ayres image : Dan Stafford


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HOW TO SURVIVE A WEEK FOR FREE. Adam Roan Henderson --------------

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Freeloading is a subtle art and requires dedication and practice. To survive a week for free you will need to be disciplined, devious and prepared to swallow your pride. I’m not talking about struggling through a week rummaging in bins and staring longingly at laughing people in bar windows as you shiver on the pavement. I’m going to describe how to enjoy a week of poverty. FOOD If you are in a client facing job then lunch is easy. Those meetings you’ve been putting off with that awful creepy guy? Book them at the best restaurant his budget will run to. If your role doesn’t allow that then you need to be a bit slyer. First, minesweep your office for birthdays and celebratory sweets. Have no qualms about taking a second or third run past any cakes bought for the office, this is no time for moralising. For another angle, look to one of the more desperate sectors at the moment: recruitment. Phone up a few companies as an employer if possible, or job hunter if not and get them to take you out. Depending on your pay-grade that could result in a great boozy lunch, or at worst a coffee and a cake in Starbucks. BOOZE Free booze is getting harder and harder to come by but although art galleries are struggling like everyone else, they still fall back on a warm glass of cheap wine for private views. Check the websites of local galleries, sign up for their newsletters and keep an eye out in Urbanjunkies and Flavorpill for suitable events. Then prepare your best middle-distance stare and a good knowing nod, like you get the artists viewpoint completely, even if it looks like it was painted by a fitting dog. Networking events are another great way to score a couple of free beers. You have to make a pretence, at least of mixing with the others, turning up mobile in hand and scarpering with the booze is frowned upon, but often most people are primarily there for a piss up. Obviously this depends on the industry you work in; from previous experience I’d rather drink toilet duck than attend another finance ‘mixer’. TRAVEL The obvious solution is sometimes the best; walking around London is easier, and can be quicker, especially in the centre. There are several maps showing walking distances between tube stops on the internet, a particularly good one can be found on the ‘shortwalk’ blog. Using Googlemaps on your iPhone or equivalent can quickly show you a walking route to your destination with approximate timings. I’ve been told cycling can get you from A to B very effectively too, but I’m too nervous about ending up in A & E. Finally there is always the bendy bus (though we do not suggest you forget to swipe your oyster of course). ENTERTAINMENT For free events and gigs keep an eye on sites like Londonist and LeCool for listings. Album releases and venue launches are some of the best to try and get on the list for, try RSVPing to any you get wind of. I’m always surprised at how many people I meet at events from blogs I’ve never heard of so set one up and get emailing. New social media technology has also spawned sites like Qype and Spoonfed who often have some great events and offers if you join as a member. They also have clever apps you can download for your phone, telling you what’s on near to your location. Genius. If you network and search hard enough you can usually find a way onto a guest list for most of the fancy clubs (try facebook or googling for London, and parties- but not London Parties) and lots are offering ‘cocktail receptions’ at about 10pm at this time of year. Put your name down for all of them and career around the west end trying to fit in as many as possible. It’s possible you will be caught out trying some of these methods and exposed for the penny pinching cheapskate you are. Just remember - anyone who takes you to task over your attempts to enjoy some frugal fun is merely jealous they didn’t have the balls to try it themselves. Like Missy Elliot says, ‘there ain’t no shame, just make sure you’re ahead of the game.’ ----------------www.qype.co.uk flavorpill.com/london www.spoonfed.co.uk/london londonist.com www.urbanjunkies.com/london lecool.com/cities/london/subscriptions/new shortwalk.blog.co.uk/2007/02/09/think_outside_the_tube_download_central_~1707446/


SIGNS OF REVOLT

Signs of Revolt: Creative Resistance and Social Movements since Seattle, Bash Studios, 65-71 Scrutton St, EC2A 4PJ. 6 November - 15 November 2009.

words : Leah Borromeo A new exhibition in London promises to deliver a comprehensive and thought-provoking display of activist and protest art over the past ten years. Signs of Revolt tells the story of the past decade’s social movements from the WTO demonstrations in Seattle in 1999 to the upcoming Climate Change Conference in Copenhagen this December. The show has collated documentary and narrative works from nearly two dozen artists, designers, journalists and performers from across the UK. Work from artists like David Gentlemen, Adbusters and kennardphillipps will be on display alongside the performances of the Rebel Clown Army and the Space Hijackers and the journalism of Jess Hurd, Guy Smallman and Reel News. Running from the 6th to the 15th November at the cavernous Bash Studios in London’s Shoreditch neighbourhood, curator Noel Douglas has also organised days of seminars and workshops where visitors can be entertained and interact with exhibitors. “With the upcoming Copenhagen demos and the 10th anniversary of Seattle, I saw this as the perfect opportunity to celebrate the creativity and rekindle the anger that sparked our movement and reflect on where we can go from here,” says Douglas. To aid your trip down activism’s memory lane, Douglas has collated graphic art in the form of posters, flyers, placards and graffiti. Enough stuff to make you think, “Hey, I remember that.” That is, if you ever went on a demonstration in the past ten years. Seattle 1999 has become a widely accepted benchmark for the beginning of what’s come to be known as the anti-globalisation movement. Disparate groups with concerns from war to workers’ rights to climate change came together in an angry, informed mob and declared that another world was possible (just what that world is remains a topic for debate). Thousands…millions marched in the streets of Prague, Nice, Gothenburg, Genoa. Anarchists, socialists, Christians, atheists, washed, unwashed. Demonstrations followed summits held by the EU, the WTO, the G8. The events of NineEleven didn’t so much end the anti-globalisation movement but gave it a focus… a large war or two waged in Afghanistan and Iraq…. Like the millions who took to the streets before that sunny September day that has referenced our daily lives, those who marched against the war knew in their heart of hearts that world leaders meeting behind closed doors wouldn’t listen to the voices shouting “No”. After the wars started, they knew leaders wouldn’t listen to the voices shouting “Stop”. But the voices kept shouting, and the signs and banners kept flowing through the streets. Cat Phillipps is one half of kennardphillipps, the collaborative unit responsible for one of the funniest and most pointed images of the decade: Tony Blair photographing himself on his mobile in front of an exploding oil field. “The sort of work we do fuses the creative process with protest,” says Cat. “It operates outside the establishment in an informal, conversational way. This show will introduce a new audience to what’s been going on by pushing activism, political engagement and social justice through art.” The press release for the exhibition says “Capitalism, war and climate change threaten our future. Signs of Revolt shows there are global forces emerging that can save it.” So can an exhibition featuring a load of lefties change the world? Probably not. What can actually be achieved? Tell me how long a piece of string is. But the show promises to offer a space to learn what fuels dissent, what drives the dissenters, and the breadth of creativity only a struggle can evoke.

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WHAT’S NEW

BAR REVIEW Milk & Honey, 61 Poland Street, W1F 7

The Princess of Shoreditch (above)reopened it’s doors last month to reveal a beautiful new refurbished interior. Situated just around the corner from Old St station this gastro pub has a relaxed drinking area downstairs and decadent dining upstairs. If the foie gras and mini Yorkshire and beef canapes were anything to go by then dinners and lunches here will be mouth watering. The Princess of Shoreditch 76 Paul Street London EC2A 4NE www.theprincessofshoreditch.com Suok is a lovely bar that opened last month in Clapham, we took a long awaited trip south to sip passion fruit martinis in this new bar brought to us by Lesley Ash. A relaxed atmosphere and a prime position near the tube means it’s pretty handy seeing as no one wants to fork out for cabs at the moment! 165 Clapham High Street, London, SW4 755 www.soukclapham.co.uk Cadburies Nibbles have arrived! These are new and amazing, in fact, we are addicted. John has gone through about three bags in three days, there is something very addictive about the winning combination of caramel and giant chocolate buttons! Find some in a corner shop/Tesco Esso near you. PPQ are set to do menswear. We forgive PPQ the connection with a certain celeb spawn because their clothes and the lovely designers are just a bit too great. This week we have heard they are starting menswear - about God damn time. Our Office is also new - by the time this goes to print we will be sitting in our new home in Camden. We will be here for the time being and doing a few events in conjunction with the lovely people at Camden Town Unlimited.

Until my latest visit to Milk & Honey, Malta was the only place I had gagged on a cocktail. I find myself in Malta. It had been one of those stifling August days where there’s not a whisper of air and your skin tightens, almost shrivels in protest. After a cold shower and lashings of moisturiser, I still felt like a roast spud. 8pm and the temperature was hovering relentlessly around the thirty degree mark. A rickety bus deposited a troupe of weary tourists. A little French lady teetered to the bar on lead-heavy legs and croaked ‘Aqua’. Never had a cocktail seemed so necessary. Surely its cooling sweetness would bring some life back to my sun-battered body. And then a doddering Maltese waiter served up dubious rum and undiluted orange and pineapple squash, it was then that all sympathy for dehydrated ancients vanished as I gagged vociferously. The superbly named ‘Zombie’ clean knocked the life out of me. Only after a litre of water later did I feel able to breathe more normally. I stuck to wine for the rest of the holiday and my cocktail crush continued to take a backseat even on my return to London. Then a friend suggested drinks at Milk & Honey and I thought, why not? Non-members are allowed if you call to book a few hours before. Yawn, before I’ve even arrived. Since I left the City my tolerance for this or any type of pretentiousness is liberatingly low. But thoughts of deepest blue curacao and Havana rum took precedence and I trotted off into town expectantly. A bored-looking blonde took our names and called downstairs to announce our arrival. Off we set, or rather stumbled, because I really couldn’t see very well which was somewhat treacherous in my monster-heel platform sandals. I’m all for low lighting to encourage illicit whispers and tales too outré for a water cooler moment. But I wonder what could have possessed the Milk & Honey people to opt for lighting that is so dim you are forced to place your menu by a candle, and squint at it in a hunched-forward position. Surely there are not enough Londoners to merit more than one establishment where you eat and drink without seeing? Far from a dazzling, delectable choice, the menu was appalling. My champagne cocktail was a nasty salmon colour and tasted insipid. Next, I went for an ‘East India’ which supposedly contained cognac, curacao , pineapple and bitters. On its arrival it looked suspiciously pink and lacking in pineapple and once sipped, the only flavour was cognac. So I gagged. Let’s face it, it doesn’t take much imagination to slap on some 1940s French jazz, nor a culinary genius to serve up a few tasty (and overpriced) prawns. Despite their waistcoated glory, even the pretty-boy waiters failed to impress. As I made my way upstairs from the gloomy depths of the basement bar, I took in the gaggles of girls cluttering the upstairs bar where the noise was raucously unpleasant. Gagging on a Maltese Zombie is one thing; in London’s Soho it is quite another. I emerged onto the pavement with relief and it struck me soundly that although Milk & Honey may have been a destination some time back in 2004, its heyday has long been and gone.


I LOVE YOU FOR LOVING ME My God I am bored: Katie, Pete, Kerry, Jack, Jade RIP, Cheryl, Dannii, Latoya, Jermaine etcetera. Their presence in our lives is unavoidable. It really is disturbing. Now don’t get me wrong, I am a publicist, and was one of the first in the UK to make questionably talented people get (questionable) column inches. Mea Culpa. But really, enough is enough. I long for the authentic star to be celebrated a little more. This brings me to the dinner I was recently invited to, hosted by the legend that is Sir Anthony Hopkins and held by the Ferragamo family at their incredible estate, Il Borro, in Tuscany. It was to launch the Tuscan Sun Arts Festival. Sir Anthony Hopkins: chilling talent, and awfully authentic. The Ferragamo’s: 80 years in business, heeled everyone in Hollywood, still owned by the family, no Gucci like feuds. Gracious, elegant and authentic.

TO A WORLD SICK WITH CELEBRITY, GET WELL SOON

Oscar winning director (Leaving Las Vegas), Mike Figgis joined his wife, pianist Rosey Chan to play music impromptu on the terrace, Mica Paris sang ‘Summertime’ while Violinist Joshua Bell looked on. Authentic talents all of them. I was asked to place some of the pictures in a UK mag. With all that talent did any of them bite? No. If only I had Kerry Kantona on the guest list the event would have made front page, much like those dreadful TV Quick/Soap/ an-excuse-to-wear-a-cheap-satin-dress/ awards. I think that real stars come in many shapes and sizes. Being discreet and low-key doesn’t necessarily get you points. Courtney Love is a proper rock Queen. When I read the other day that she is down to her last $50.00 it only enhanced my view of her authenticity. Similarly, Paris Hilton is a world-famous, covetable corporation, the original and much copied ‘famous for going to parties’, candy-floss girl who soared to iconic status - again, authentic. Unlike Peaches and Pixie but very much like their mother, Paula Yates. Whom I knew, and was authentic in what she did – a rock star - in a way that Patsy Kensit has never been. Speaking of authentic celebrity, or at least certifiable. I Must tell you this rather amusing memory of dinner with the late, great Michael Jackson. I am invited to the Lanesborough Hotel for dinner with the King Of Pop. I Arrive at the suite to find Macaulay Culkin, Hayley Mills, her dad Sir John Mills, the Graff’s and staff – yes, I found it an odd selection of guests as well. Mac and MJ are in bed watching cartoons. Everyone waits. They arrive, sit down to eat and speak in a weird private language. MJ starts a food fight - bread rolls and peas fly everywhere. A couple of baps nearly hit Sir John Mills in the head. Mills is a bit deaf and blind and is very confused at the projectiles whizzing past him. It all ends in bizarre hilarity. And a race to the door.

IN THE LOO WITH FARRAH

TO A WORLD SICK WITH CELEBRITY, GET WELL SOON

ERIN DANIEL MCKEE

My final anecdote from the dead involves the wonderfully loopy, late Farrah Fawcett. I was not actually present but it happened. Farrah is getting ready and horribly late for an event. My friend is waiting and waiting. She finally goes to Farrah’s bathroom to get her. Farrah is putting the finishing touches to her face. My friend notices a collection of vibrators on the counter. Farrah sees that my friend has clocked the ‘instruments’, and reassures my uncomfortable mate “Don’t worry about those, they’re just my son Redmonds” (he was 15 at the time).

My new monthly column. A place for me to rant, interview deserving people of note, pass judgement, plug stuff, self-deprecate, share witty anecdotes, settle scores, and bring peace and harmony to the kind readers of Who’s Jack.

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Anyway, on that note, I love you for loving me. Have a great November. EDM image : Andrea Bono Tempo


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