West Georgia Woman Magazine September 2019 by West Georgia Woman Magazine/Angel Media, LLC

Woman

Complimentary

September 2019

West Georgia

Pastor Jacqueline Drayton Sharing Joy With Her Community

A Grandmother's Journey After Suicide Loss

WGTC KnightCARE Helps Students in Need 1

This publication is dedicated in loving memory of all of those who have lost their lives to suicide. They will remain forever in our hearts ...

Tristan Alexander Brooks May 15, 1993 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; September 1 7, 2015

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What’s inside... 12

Overcoming Tragedy

KnightCARE Program 24 WGTC Helps Students in Need

A Grandmother's Journey After Suicide Loss

38 Daily Fare

Light a Candle for World Suicide Awareness Day

An Antidote to Ward Off Depression

Post Traumatic Stress: A Soldier's Story

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Never Give Up

Four years ago, on Sept. 17, 2015, my beautiful nephew, Tristan, lost his life to suicide. I don't believe I will ever be able to adequately convey to you the tremendous impact suicide has on the loved ones left behind. My hope is that after reading this issue, you will become more empathetic, more informed and more aware of how devastating it is to lose a friend or loved one to suicide. I hope you will read this issue in earnest and become more knowledgeable of the warning signs, learn how to talk to others about suicide and feel more empowered to reach out and help someone who may be having thoughts of taking their own life. I want you to know you may be able to help save the life of someone in your Tristan, with Angela at his high school family, a student, co-worker or a friend just by asking a few simple questions: graduation.

• • • • • • •

How are you dealing with the things that are happening in your life? Do you ever feel like just giving up? Are you thinking about hurting yourself? Are you thinking about dying or having thoughts about suicide? Have you ever tried to hurt yourself or thought about suicide before? Do you have a plan? Have you thought about when or how you might do it? Do you have weapons or items in your home or around you that you might use to hurt yourself?

Asking someone these questions won't make them do something self-destructive. In fact, giving them an opportunity to talk about their feelings may reduce the risk of them acting on those thoughts. If they are having thoughts of suicide, don't act shocked, judgmental or tell them to snap out of it. Be respectful, acknowledge their feelings, encourage them to call the suicide prevention lifeline and offer to help them take the necessary steps to seek professional help. Most important, do not leave them alone, and remove all items they may be able to use to hurt themselves. To find out more about suicide and prevention, please go to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention website at www.afsp.org and help us fight suicide in West Georgia. By educating yourself and others about suicide, you may help save a life one day. May I ask a favor of you? World Suicide Prevention Day is on Tuesday, Sept. 10. Thousands of people around the world will light a single candle near a window at 8 p.m. to show their support for suicide prevention, to remember a lost loved one and for the survivors of suicide loss. Would you light a candle with us to remember our loved ones included in this issue and the other beautiful souls who left this world too soon? Also, if you have a moment, please say a prayer for our precious Tristan and our family on Sept. 17. In This Issue Our cover feature this month is Pastor Jacqueline Drayton. Jacqueline lost her 29-year-old daughter, Brandy, to suicide in 2016. Determined to make a difference in the lives of people in her community and to honor Brandy's memory, she is involved in numerous outreach programs in West Georgia. Learn about Jackie and how she is sharing joy with members of her community on page 12. West Georgia Technical College created a team that offers assistance to individuals dealing with mental health issues, suicide risk, domestic violence or dangerous behavior. Learn more about the WGTC KnightCARE team and how they are helping students who need it most on page 24. We are always so thankful for our courageous survivors who share their own personal stories of hope and healing with our readers. They have shared stories of their tragic loss with you in hopes of helping other survivors navigate the loss of a special person to suicide, to encourage suicide awareness and prevention, or perhaps help save the life of someone who may be contemplating suicide. First, we have a story from a military veteran and first responder who has struggled with Post Traumatic Stress for several years. One year ago, he lost a military buddy to suicide. Read this soldier's story on page 28. Next, Patricia Wenck shares her poignant story of losing her beautiful grandson, Alex, to suicide in 2015. Read more about Patricia and her journey after the loss of Alex on page 34. Please share this issue with everyone you know to help bring awareness in our communities. Together, we can make a difference in the fight against suicide in West Georgia. If you're struggling with thoughts of suicide, please ask for help. Your life is a beautiful gift to the world, and you matter to others more than you realize. Please don't ever give up. See you next month,

Publisher/Survivor

Finding our voice. Knowing our value. Making a difference. TM

West Georgia Woman is a voice for and about the women who live and work in West Georgia. Our mission is to engage, inspire, and cultivate a cohesive community for all women in West Georgia by sharing our hopes, our dreams and our lives. This magazine would not be possible without the inclusion of our advertising partners. Please be sure to show your support by doing business with these VIP’s (very important partners) so we will be able to continue to share with you our stories about amazing West Georgia women! Please be sure to tell them we sent you!

We welcome your comments and suggestions. Contact us: 404.502.0251 admin@westgeorgiawoman.com Online: www.westgeorgiawoman.com

Woman

Volume 4 • Issue 11 September 2019

Publisher/Editor Need a copy?

Get yours from our racks at Kroger, Publix, Southern Home and Ranch and Food Depot (Maple Street) and BBW in Carrollton. We have them at all three Lee-King and Lee-Goodrum pharmacy Inspiring women wanted. locations in Newnan, the Apothecary Shoppe in Douglasville and the Vitamin Do you know an interesting Shoppe in Hiram. Publix at Mirror Lake, woman who should be on the cover of West Georgia Woman? Is in our rack at Piggly Wiggly in Bowdon, there a special project or organiza- at CVS in Bowdon and Piggly Wiggly in tion you would like us to feature in Tallapoosa and our racks at WM Grocery in Roanoke and Wedowee, Al., as well our magazine? Let us know! as hundreds of other retail locations and Email your suggestions to: features@westgeorgiawoman.com medical offices in West Georgia and East Alabama! Share your special events. Send your upcoming events to: Need to advertise? Email: calendar@westgeorgiawoman.com Zachary@westgeorgiawoman.com or The views, opinions, positions or strat- Sales@westgeorgiawoman.com egies expressed by the contributing Call 404.444.9072 or 404.502.0251 authors are theirs alone, and do not Mail correspondence to: necessarily reflect the views, opinions, positions or strategies of Angel Media, West Georgia Woman Magazine LLC., West Georgia Woman magazine P.O. Box 2782 or any employee thereof. Carrollton, GA 30112 Angel Media, LLC. makes no representations as to accuracy, completeness, correctness, suitability, or validity of any information in this publication and will not be liable for any errors, omissions, or delays in this information or any losses, injuries, or damages arising from its display or use.

West Georgia

All submissions will be included as space is available. West Georgia Woman reserves the right to reject or edit any submissions that are not in compliance with our editorial policy. If you wish to have your submission returned, please include a self addressed stamped envelope along with your submisThis issue is not intended to imply that sion. West Georgia Woman is a monthly pubit will prevent a suicide from occurring lication of Angel Media, LLC. All contents of by reading the editorial within. All this issue are copyright 2019. West Georgia editorial is for informational purposes Woman magazine, its logo and “Finding our only. If you or someone you know is voice. Knowing our value. Making a differhaving suicidal thoughts, please go to ence.” are trademarks of Angel Media, LLC. the nearest emergency room or dial All rights reserved. Reproduction without 9-1-1 for help. permission is strictly prohibited.

Angela Dailey angela@westgeorgiawoman.com

Copy Editor Editorial Contributor

Shala Hainer shala@westgeorgiawoman.com

Photographer for cover Zachary Dailey

Editorial Contributors

Charlene Brooks, Cheryl Francis, LPC, CPCS, Rose Isaacs and Patty Wenck

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Sales@westgeorgiawoman.com Angela Brooks Dailey, owner and publisher of West Georgia Woman magazine, has lived in West Georgia most of her life and has a deep love and appreciation for the area. She received her B.B.A in management from The University of West Georgia in Carrollton, Ga., and is a Civil and Domestic Relations mediator and arbitrator registered with the Georgia Office of Dispute Resolution. She lives in Carrollton, and has two wonderful children, Zachary and Sydney Dailey. Angela enjoys reading, spending time with her children and extended family and loves to watch Sydney play soccer.

12 by Zachary Dailey Photos

Overcoming Tragedy

By Janet Flanigan

Pastor Jacqueline Drayton Honors Daughter's Memory Through Community Outreach

“

have been through so much in my life, but there is no pain like burying your child. Especially when they take their own life,” says Jacqueline Drayton, an ordained minister and mother of four. Jacqueline’s daughter, Brandy, a mother of five herself, died by suicide in 2016, after a long struggle with mental illness. “During times when I am not busy and things are quiet, that is when I start going over things in my head,” Jacqueline, who often goes by Jackie, shares. “I wonder, did she mean to do this to herself? Was there something I could have done? Why? Why? Why?” Of course, these are rhetorical questions for which there are no real answers. Brandy had severe schizophrenia and, because of her mental illness, made the decision to end her life. Schizophrenia is a chronic and severe mental disorder that affects how a person thinks, feels and behaves, according to the National Institute of Mental Health. After losing Brandy to suicide, Jackie has tried to use this struggle – as she has done with all of the difficulties in her life – for good.

A Frightening Childhood Jackie, who was born and raised in Charleston, SC., has lived through many trials in her 64 years, beginning at the tender age of 3. “My mother married my stepfather when I was 3 years old, and he made sure I knew I wasn’t his,” she says. “I was the oldest of six siblings, and I was the only one not born to him.” Her stepfather seemed to resent her very existence, and this resentment manifested in both physical and mental abuse. “My mother

"If his intention was to make me an angry person, it actually did the opposite to me. I learned to love the underdog. All I wanted to do was to help other people and put a smile on their faces."

worked as a maid for a family in Charleston and while she was at work, he was supposed to take care of our regular housekeeping," she explains. “He made me do his work. When I wasn’t doing chores, he was beating me or making me sit in a red rocking chair for hours on end. My mother didn’t know these things happened because he did it while she was at work. And I didn’t tell her." In addition to beatings with a belt which included hitting her with the buckle, he also withheld food from Jackie and forced her to act as his personal servant.

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The Breaking Point When she was 9 years old, Jackie's mother gave birth to her brother, Timmy. “Timmy got a serious systemic infection from his umbilical incision, and he was always in and out of hospitals," she says. "I loved him and he loved me – I was the only one who could soothe him. We calmed each other." But one day, Timmy went into the hospital and he never came home again. “We were all grieving terribly, and that man made my mother get up from her bed of sorrow to make his supper,” she recalls. “That was my breaking point. I no longer recognized my mother as the loving, independent person she had been when I was a little girl. She was completely controlled by that man.” There were many times when her stepfather would fly into a rage late at night and her mother, fearful that he would hurt Jackie, would wake her and take her to her grandmother’s house. While she knew her mother was trying to protect her, she made the decision at a young age that she would never choose a man over her children. Having endured all she could stand, Jackie fought

back when she was in 9th grade, and the physical attacks ended after that. But an atmosphere of oppression and fear permeated the home, and Jackie longed for the day she could be on her own. “If his intention was to make me an angry person, it actually did the opposite to me," she shares. "I learned to love the underdog. All I wanted to do was to help other people and put a smile on their faces.”

A Young Activist Jackie has always been a scholar, and as a young person, she loved reading and learning new things. She especially enjoyed reading stories about overcoming adversity. Jackie is a proud alumna of Burke High School in downtown Charleston, where she graduated with honors. “Home of the Bulldogs!” she cheers. “Burke was a great school for black students because it offered trade classes as well as regular academic classes. Not every black student wanted to, or was able to, attend college back then." When she was a sophomore, there was a tragic shooting incident in her community. In those days, Jackie says many of the local kids would go joy riding in county trucks on county property. “It was just something all of the kids did," she says. "Really

harmless, teen stuff.” But this time, when several teens were driving around in the county vehicles, an off-duty police officer chased them down and shot one young man in the back. He tragically died from his injuries. “I just felt this was so wrong," she relates. "Maybe they shouldn’t have been joy riding, but it was something known that all of the kids did for years and years. He should not have been killed for that.” Jackie was so incensed she formed a student group called “Students for Action” to protest and march against the shooting. “I received a lot of support from the community, but I also received a lot of hate mail, too,” she says. The police officer was discharged from his position as a result of his actions and the attention made from her protests. During the heat of the controversy, the local chapter of the NAACP provided protection for Jackie until things quieted down. She was provided a safe escort to school and around town. Eventually, they offered Jackie the position of local president of the Youth NAACP. She was also asked to be a participant on a citizens review board, where she and other citizens reviewed any questionable officer-involved incidents. The young activist also made a difference in her high school when she organized a school-wide week-

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long walkout to protest the poor condition of their cafeteria. "We lived in the inner city, our cafeteria was delapidated and we had bugs everywhere,” she relates. As a result of Jackie's organized walkout, a new cafeteria was built for the students.

Young Love While Jackie was still in high school, she caught the eye of a young man, Bernard Drayton, who had graduated from Burke two years earlier. “He liked the way I looked in my majorette uniform,” she laughs. “He liked my legs!” She eventually agreed to date him, and when he proposed, she said "yes." They were married after she graduated from high school. “Bernard knew about my home life and my stepfather beating me, and he said he wanted to take care of me," she recalls. "He decided to join the Air Force to provide for me and our future family." He was first assigned to Eglin Air Force Base in Florida. For the first time in her life, she had a stable home with a loving husband and a secure income. Jackie and Bernard began having children immediately. “When we had our first daughter, Tia, we were just so jubilant," she shares. "We would just laugh and laugh with happiness."

and drove Tia and Bernard, Jr. across the country to Charleston.

From Bad to Worse Because of her past difficulties with her parents, Jackie felt she could not stay with them – especially with two little children. Friends took them in for a while, but she says her friends grew tired of that quickly. Bernard was still under evaluation and she had two children to feed. “I really did not know what to do," she shares. "That $67 was not going to buy much. That is when I started writing bad checks. That went on for quite a long time; I just wrote them to cover our basic needs, but eventually I got caught and went to jail.” By this time, her stepfather was no longer in the picture and her children went to stay with her mother while Jackie was incarcerated. She was sentenced to five years in prison. While serving her time, Jackie began educating herself on the prison system. She began helping other inmates with appeals, early releases, transfers, medical attention and post-conviction relief, a court rule or law that allows a challenge to a judgment of conviction which has otherwise become final in the normal appellate review process.

Darkness Creeps In By the time Bernard was transferred to Mather AFB in Sacramento, Calif., they had added a son, Bernard, Jr., to the family. Later, they would have a second daughter, Brandy, and two more sons, Quintin and Quincy. She recalls that Bernard Sr. exhibited the first signs of instability when they were in the delivery room while she was giving birth to Bernard Jr. “He started singing really loudly, 'You Are My Sunshine,'” she says. "It may seem sweet, but in actuality, it was completely out of character and very odd." However, she didn’t think too much about the strange behavior until later. “One day I got a phone call that Bernard, Sr. had a psychotic episode and was being life-flighted to Travis AFB in Fairfield, Calif., for observation," she explains. "They decided that he needed to be sent back home to Charleston for further care. We immediately lost our housing and his income. We went from his good, regular salary to a stipend of $67 a month.” Terrified, she packed up the family's belongings

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“I have a good head for memorizing and understanding legal issues," she says. "The other prisoners called me ‘Matlock.' I was even able to have some sentences overturned." Eventually, Jackie’s work on behalf of the other inmates came to the attention of the prison warden. After serving only eight months of her sentence, Jackie received an early release. “I think he was tired of me rocking the boat and wanted to get rid of me!” she laughs. Shortly before she was granted her release, Jackie experienced an excruciating headache. “It was worse than delivering 12 babies, all at once, naturally!” she exclaims. It was determined that Jackie had a brain aneurism and was in very serious condition. “I really thought I was going to die," she While Jackie was serving time in prison, she began helping other relates. "I remember asking God, 'Please inmates with appeals, early releases, transfers, medical attention don’t take me now. I want to be back with my and post-conviction relief. Today, she helps prepare résumés for children.'" members of the community who are looking for work. She endured an eight-hour brain surgery and, while recovering in her room, she says she saw a spent several weeks in the hospital. They told my bright, white light coming from one corner of the family I would be a vegetable, but I walked out of room. there on my own two legs and I walked back into “I later found out that no one else saw that light," prison. But, I knew then that God had a plan for me she shares. "I believe it was God comforting me. and when I got out, I would do more to serve Him.” All in all, I had 72 huge staples across my scalp and

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As part of the conditions of her release from prison, Jackie was required to have regular meetings with a woman from the Department of Social Services (DSS). She was getting back on her feet, and Bernard began receiving military disability checks which allowed her to provide a good home for her family. However, she eventually made the decision to divorce Bernard. His illness had steadily progressed, he had become violent and he would not stay on his medication. She remembered the vow she had made to herself as a young girl that she would not put a man before her children, and she ended the marriage. After the divorce, Jackie noticed that her family support military checks were not appearing on time. Then, without warning, her children were taken away from her, based on a falsified report filed by her DSS worker. After her children were removed from her care, some went to stay with her mother and some went with Bernard Sr. During this time, her son Quincy, told her his only wish was to have Jackie be there to see him walk across the stage at his high school graduation.

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Ruby Hightower, Certified Therapy Dog and Grief Counselor. Upon request, Ruby visits with a family during an arrangement conference, visitation or funeral service. ruby is also certified to visit retirement homes, nursing homes and schools. Knowing the accusations from the DSS were completely untrue, she put her legal research skills to work and discovered the DSS worker had forged a letter from a doctor falsely claiming child abuse in her home. She also discovered this same social worker had been stealing her checks. While she could do the background case work, Jackie couldn’t file her own legal brief, so she hired a Charleston law firm to help her. She eventually won her case, and received a repayment of the money stolen and was also awarded punitive damages. When Quincy graduated from Goose Creek High School in S.C., she surprised him by yelling out his nickname from the stands as he crossed the stage so he would know his wish to have his mother present had come true. Still, even as things began to improve for Jackie and her children, there were storm clouds brewing within her daughter, Brandy.

Brandy’s Struggle “Brandy had always been extra, extra sensitive," she says. "She saw slights where there weren’t any. For example, when I would introduce my daughters, I would say ‘This is my eldest daughter Tia, and my

other daughter Brandy.' She would fixate on the word ‘other.' She thought when I said ‘other,’ that I meant ‘less than,' which, of course, was not true.” At the age of 20, Brandy was doing well. She owned her own business and got married. But Brandy began showing signs of the same mental illness as her father, schizophrenia. “I did not know back then that some mental illnesses, such as schizophrenia, can be genetic," she explains. "I found out later that mental illness was in Bernard’s family. If I had known earlier, things may have turned out differently. I began to see different things in my daughter – depression, mood swings." Brandy began exhibiting more and more erratic behavior and began hanging out with a local drug dealer. Jackie and her family tried to keep her away from that environment, but it was impossible to monitor her whereabouts every minute of every day. She began isolating herself from Jackie and her siblings. She also began having children, eventually giving birth to five babies. Interestingly, Jackie says during each of her pregnancies, Brandy was completely well and the symptoms of her illness disappeared. But, after each baby was born, her illness would return stronger than ever. After all of her children were born, the illness took

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www.carrollcasa.org hold for good and she separated herself from Jackie and the rest of the family. Jackie says Brandy's husband had no interest in her health and welfare. “It seemed to us that all he wanted was to cash her Supplemental Security Income checks,” she says. “She kept the children from us so, sadly, I do not even know them,” she exclaims. "She gave all of them up, and I was constantly trying to locate the children. But, she made sure none of the family members could locate them." Often, the only contact they would have with her would be a threatening message or obscene package she would leave at the front door. Eventually, Brandy received an official diagnosis of schizophrenia but, like so many people with mental illness, including her father, she was not compliant with taking her medicine. “I actually think it is evil that people with severe mental illness cannot be forced to take their medicine,” she relates. “The philosophy of medicine is supposed to be 'do no harm,' But how is it not harmful that those with mental illness don’t have to take the medicine that can keep them stable? I feel like I have been victimized by the system and I feel, in many ways, my daughter was a victim, too. If she had been made to take her medication, who knows?”

An Unthinkable Tragedy “I have thought so much about Brandy and her struggles,” she explains. “Why did she feel abandoned when she was loved? Why was she so very sensitive? Why couldn’t I help her? Why?” Sometimes there just aren’t answers. Sadly, in 2017, Brandy fell into a dire depression. All alone at age 29, Brandy checked herself into a small neighborhood hotel and took her own life. Jackie discovered later that Brandy had been acting erratically at the hotel but no one called for help. “That is one thing I just don’t understand," she says. "When we see folks who are acting strangely or those who clearly need help, people don’t want to get involved. They don’t even want to make a phone call. Who knows? If someone had called that day, would Brandy still be here?” Unfortunately, for the survivors of suicide loss, such thoughts are common after a loved one dies by suicide. If only? What if? Why? But these are all questions that usually remain unanswered for those left behind. "My daughter did not tell anyone what she was planning," she shares. "The most horrific thing that I’ve been through was when she died by suicide.”

Over 800 000 people die by suicide each year. Suicide is the second leading cause of death in 15 to 29 year olds, and there are indications that for each adult who dies by suicide, there may be more than 20 others who have attempted suicide, according to the World Health Organization. Early identification and effective management are key to ensuring that people receive the care they need. The WHO says that stigma and misunderstanding surrounding mental illness is widespread. In spite of the existence of effective treatments for mental disorders, there is often a belief that those with mental illness are untreatable, unintelligent or difficult. This stigma can lead to isolation, abuse and rejection and can exclude people from health care and support. Within the health system, people are too often treated in institutions that resemble "human warehouses" rather than places of healing. The WHO suggests that to increase the avail-

"No mother should ever have to hold her child's ashes."

Jackie, holding Brandy's urn with her son, Quincy. Brandy's photo is on the television in the background.

ability of mental health services, there are five key barriers that need to be overcome: the absence of mental health from the public health agenda and the implications for funding; the current organization of mental health services; lack of integration within primary care; inadequate human resources for mental health; and lack of public mental health leadership. “Some people will look at the environment the person was in and blame it on that," she explains. "For example, if they live in a low-income area or sometimes people will blame it on drugs. People with mental illness are the most lost and overlooked individuals in our society. Depression can be a gateway to suicide."

Another Setback After losing her daughter, Jackie was working in a halfway house helping people who were trying to get back on their feet, just as she was trying to move forward with her life. One day, one of the residents told her she didn't look well. Indeed, Jackie had not been feeling well for a couple of weeks, and on that day she felt terrible. She went to the hospital by ambulance, where it was discovered that she had colon cancer. After her cancer diagnosis, Jackie and Quincy moved to Douglasville, Ga., to be near her daughter, Tia, and to be near her oncologist, Dr. Ann McDonald. She underwent surgery for the cancer, and the doctors removed a large tumor. She also received a temporary colostomy, an operation that creates an opening for the colon, or large intestine, through the abdomen. “But I am vain," she laughs. "I had them reverse that as soon as I could!” Fortunately, she did not need chemotherapy. As part of her recovery from the loss of Brandy, her illnesses and other challenges she had endured, Jackie began to grow deeper into her Christian faith. She began taking theology classes at Liberty University, a private evangelical Christian university in Lynchburg, Va., with the goal of becoming an ordained Baptist minister. During her recovery from colon cancer, Jackie met a woman who was to have a great impact on her life. “I had an interesting thing happen when I was visiting my oncologist," she shares. "I was new to the area and had not yet found a church home. I had been studying for my theology classes and had accidentally bought two study Bibles that were exactly the same. During my checkup, I began

talking to a lady who worked program for homeless men in there named Miss Meeks. She West Georgia; leads a weekly said she had been looking for a community bible study at Mt. Bible like mine. I told her I had Pleasant; she opens her home as an extra and gave it to her.” a community hub that provides The next time she came in for non-perishable canned goods an appointment, Miss Meeks and meats to those in need; she told Jackie that God had told also collects clothing for people her she needed to take Jackie who can't afford to purchase somewhere. That “somewhere” outfits required for job interviews was to Mt. Pleasant Baptist and helps prepare résumés for Church in Carrollton, even people in the community who though that was not Miss Meeks’ are looking for work. home church. She believes in using existing After arriving at Mt. Pleasant, resources that are available in Jackie felt an overwhelming the community for outreach. feeling of the Holy Spirit "My bishop and I try to make it a Jackie is involved in extensive community outspeaking to her the moment point to not reinvent the wheel, reach, including opening her home as a commushe stepped out of the car. but to help as much as we can nity hub that provides non-perishable food, baby “The spirit of God told me this with organizations that already formula and canned meats to those in need. is where I needed to be,” says exist,” she explains. Jackie. As the two ladies were walking around the Jackie preaches every fifth Sunday, and her church, they encountered the senior pastor, Bishop sermons focus on finding oneself in the struggle. Dr. Samuel Sauls, Jr. “Bishop Dr. Sauls walked up to She offers rousingly honest sermons with titles such us and said ‘You must be the gatherer that God said as “Detours to Your Destiny,” where she shares the he’d send to me,'" she shares. many trials and triumphs in her life. One of Jackie's future goals is creating increased community awareness for mental illness, especially Finding Her Way Home in young women. “Laws need to be changed,” Because of her friendship with Miss Meeks and her she states emphatically. “Many people with mental illness don’t want to take their medicine, but we introduction to Bishop Dr. Sauls, Jackie and her son, need to find ways to convince them that is the way Quincy, made the decision to move to Carrollton to to better mental health." be closer to Mt. Pleasant church. Jackie had been a Along with her other health issues, Jackie has had gatherer most of her life – with the underserved, with two strokes and two heart attacks, but she refuses her family and with her fellow inmates in prison. She to allow that to stop her from making a difference in was now ready to be a gatherer for God. “The first thing I did with Mt. Pleasant Baptist was people's lives. She is determined to honor Brandy's memory by helping others who are struggling. the spring festival,” she says. She is now involved in "I believe in being in the center of where help is extensive community outreach, including providing needed the most," she shares. "This is what love is clothing to the local women’s shelter and The truly all about – not so much for your comfort but Blake House, a place of refuge for men struggling for the comfort of others. I love people and I love with addiction; she works in collaboration with the Atlanta Food Bank and Crossroads Church to quickly seeing people smile. I try to be that source to help joy come into their lives." WGW distribute large volumes of food, including produce, directly to the underserved in the community; To learn more about she delivers food, toiletries and clothing to senior Pastor Jacqueline Drayton citizens who are homebound and to those who don't have transportation; she works with Mt. Pleasant's and her outreach programs, annual coat drive in collaboration with the Carrollton call 843.568.3153 Police Department and Charter Bank to collect and distribute coats to homeless veterans and others in or email her at need; leads a weekly Bible study at the HOPE Center drayton1235@gmail.com in Carrollton, a communal home and transition

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West Georgia Technical College KnightCARE Program Helps Students in Need

magine being a college student and not having enough food to eat; struggling with a difficult math class; finding yourself in a domestic violence situation; suffering from debilitating depression and suicidal thoughts; or living on the streets because you have nowhere else to go. West Georgia Technical College, through an initiative implemented by the Technical College System of Georgia, created a team called KnightCARE to provide support for students just like these. "West Georgia Tech has been on the leading edge of this movement, and our team has collaborated effectively to help students who are in greatest need," says Dr. Kelly Steed, associate dean of the School of Arts and Sciences and chair of the KnightCARE team. KnightCARE is named after the school's mascot, the Golden Knights. The word "CARE" is an acronym for Campus Awareness Response and Evaluation. KnightCARE is a multidisciplinary team that meets regularly to review concerns shared by students and staff and determine how to provide assistance to individuals dealing with mental health issues, suicide risk, domestic violence or dangerous behavior. “The KnightCARE team coordinates a wide range of resources for students," she says. "Team members from academic affairs, student affairs, accessibility services, dual enrollment and campus safety work together on each of our cases. We help students in crisis find a counselor, connect with social service agencies or work with instructors when they need extensions on assignments. Our students are not always aware that the college provides these services at no additional cost, so we help them

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connect with the resources they need.” WGTC partners with Tanner Medical Center for its Golden Student Assistance Program to offer students sessions with a licensed counselor. Sometimes students may be afraid to ask for help, so the KnightCARE team practices something called active referrals. “Research shows that outcomes improve when we help the student make that first appointment with a therapist and follow up to see if they benefitted from the sessions," she explains. "We also stay in touch to find out what other types of support the student needs to ensure that they can remain enrolled and be successful academically." Occasionally, students need financial assistance or support from social service agencies, so WGTC maintains relationships with social service providers in all of the counties within its service region. "We sometimes work with homeless students," she says. "Others may be experiencing a domestic violence situation, and others may be single parents who don’t have childcare. They may need temporary housing, financial support, information about scholarship opportunities or job placement services. The college provides some of these resources, or we may refer them to an outside agency. We tailor each intervention to the person’s specific needs."

Campus Safety Ensuring the safety of WGTC’s campuses is another part of the KnightCARE team's mission. "Because of the nationwide concern about violence on college campuses, the KnightCARE team works with everyone in the WGTC community to detect warning signs and address safety concerns proactively,” she says. The college trains all faculty and staff on best practices for campus safety. “WGTC is fortunate to have a dedicated police force with fully trained, experienced officers," she says. "We have coverage from WGTC police every moment that one of our campuses is open." James Perry, WGTC’s chief of police, keeps the KnightCARE team updated on current research and laws impacting campus safety. WGTC police also lead safety teams on each campus to keep students and staff aware of the school’s procedures for dealing with emergencies. "WGTC has five campuses and three instructional

sites in seven different counties, so we have to identify safety risks and work with those situations before they escalate into a crisis,” she explains. "We may see an alarming social media post, observe distressed behaviors in class or overhear something in a conversation that concerns us. When any kind of threat is involved, we take that very seriously. We want to assure our students we are doing everything we can to protect their safety when they are on campus."

Addressing Suicide Risk WGTC is currently implementing a campaign to help students and faculty become aware of the warning signs of suicide. The campaign teaches students and staff how to identify warning signs sent by someone who is thinking about suicide; for example, posts in an online discussion forum that disclose prior suicide attempts, classroom behaviors that suggest worsening mental health symptoms or comments to friends about feeling overwhelmed or helpless. "Individuals often plan suicide attempts in advance and give clues ahead of time," she explains. "We want our students and staff to know that we’re paying attention to those signals. We talk about the importance of establishing a baseline and understanding what the person’s 'normal' is. If someone who’s usually outgoing and talkative suddenly becomes withdrawn, stops showing up for class or work, or looks like they haven’t slept, those can be warning signs. Helping someone get into therapy and simply making them aware that people at WGTC care about them can make a positive difference." Donating to the WGTC Foundation is one way the community can help. The foundation provides emergency funding that can be a game-changer for WGTC students or staff members. “There is a significant amount of poverty in our college community," she says. "When we hear of these concerns, the WGTC Foundation provides funding to assist with financial needs. Another way the community can help is to inform WGTC if they provide any type of social services in our region so the KnightCARE team can help students connect with them. "I’m proud of the work we do. I think that’s because we all share a common sense of purpose and sincerely care about the well-being of our students. Everyone puts aside their individual roles and comes together to do whatever we can to serve the college community. That’s why we're here." WGW

Warning Signs of Suicide • Talking about wanting to die • Expressing hopelessness or having no purpose • Talking about feeling trapped or in unbearable pain • Talking about being a burden to others • Increasing the use of alcohol or drugs • Acting anxious, agitated or recklessly • Sleeping too little or too much • Withdrawing or feeling isolated • Showing rage or talking about seeking revenge • Displaying extreme mood swings

How You Can Help • Do not leave the person alone • Remove any firearms, alcohol, drugs or sharp objects that could be used in a suicide attempt • Call the U.S. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-TALK (8255) • Take the person to an emergency room or seek help from a medical or mental health professional *Warning signs provided by ReportingOnSuicide.org

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The Women's Choice Award® Financial Advisor program was created by WomenCertified Inc., the Voice of Women, in an effort to help women make smart financial choices. The Women's Choice Award Financial Program is based on 17 objective criteria associated with providing quality service to women clients, such as credentials, experience, and a favorable regulatory history, among other factors. Financial advisors do not pay a fee to be considered or placed on the final list of Women's Choice Award Financial Advisors, though they may have paid a basic program fee to cover the cost of their client survey. The inclusion of a financial advisor within the Women's Choice Award Financial Advisor network should not be construed as an endorsement of the financial advisor by WomenCertified Inc. or its partners and affiliates and is no guarantee as to future investment success. Women's Choice Award® Financial Advisors and Firms represent less than 1% of financial advisors in the U.S. As of October 2018, of the 463 considered for the Women's Choice Award, 108 were named Women's Choice Award Financial Advisors/Firms The criteria provided reflects the most recent year for which Financial Advisors/Firms received the award. The criteria used, the number of Financial Advisors/Firms considered for the award, and the number of those who receive the award, may vary from year to year. For more information, please visit http://www.womenschoiceaward.com/.

Daniel James McKee

Gay Nell Harvey January 18, 1967 – November 16, 2014 Michael Lubie Perdue August 17, 1954 – July 20, 2003

Donald Lawrence "Larry" Bone December 13, 1961 – October 28, 2012

William Austin McCloud January 30, 1998 – April 29, 2017

January 21, 1952 – February 23, 2009

Amanda Nicole Broussard September 30, 1987 – March 12, 2015

Please light a single candle near a window on World Suicide Prevention Day, Tuesday, September 10 at 8:00 p.m., to show your support for suicide prevention, to remember a lost loved one and for the survivors of suicide loss. Robert O 'Neal Phillips

Johnnie Mack Wyatt

William Edward "Billy" Dickson

April 1, 1958 – January 06, 2011

August 30, 1955 – March 20, 1987

April 16, 1960 – June 5, 1997

Ray Mercer "Buck" Paul III April 2, 1987 – May 20, 2012

Elizabeth Jo Lawler September 23, 1999 – April 12, 2016 27

A Soldier's Story

A War Veteran and First Responder Reflects on the Effects of Post Traumatic Stress

n July 2018, Thomas* received a phone call he'll never forget. A buddy from his unit who toured with him in Iraq had taken his own life. The news didn't make any sense to him. James, several years his junior, had left behind a beautiful wife and children. He had his entire life ahead of him.

A Lifetime of Service Thomas has spent the last 30-plus years serving his country and his community. A military veteran with two tours under his belt – Desert Storm and Iraq – he now works in public safety. "My whole life I wanted to be in the military and to serve the community in public safety," he shares. "There were soldiers in our family, and my dad was a veteran. I was only 17 when I went to enlist, but my dad wouldn't sign for me. He wanted me to go to college. I didn't want to go to college, but that's what I did – initially." He attended one semester of college, but his heart wasn't in it, and his grades reflected his desire to do something else. By the time he was 18 years old, his dad realized Thomas needed to follow his own dreams. He enlisted in the military and spent three months overseas in Operation Desert Storm, America's first substantial military conflict since the Vietnam War. After several years in the military, he was honorably discharged. He became a volunteer firefighter and worked full-time in the building industry. It wasn't long before he began working full-time as a firefighter. A few years later, he began to feel the call of the military again and re-enlisted. Shortly after re-enlisting, he was deployed to the war in Iraq. "There's a video on YouTube of my unit getting the crap bombed out of us," he says. "It was one of the largest mortar and rocket attacks in the Iraq War." He pulls up two videos of the attack – one recorded by a soldier in the unit and one recorded by the insurgents. In the soldier's video, mortars and rockets are shattering the landscape every 2 to 5 seconds. The soldier recording the chaos was not able to make it to a bunker before the attack occurred. A bunker is a defensive military fortification designed to protect people and valued materials from falling bombs or other

attacks. A C-RAM, a set of systems used by the military to provide early warning in an attack, blares loudly in the background of the video with the word "incoming" repeating over and over again. Shells can be heard whistling overhead. The soldier is considerably shaken and breathing heavily. During a lull in the assault, he runs for his life to seek shelter. In the second video, insurgents shoot mortars – one after the other – into the night sky as their fighting propaganda music plays in the background. A total of 73 mortars and rockets were launched within five minutes that night. "I don't do well around fireworks anymore," Thomas relates. He admits to feeling slightly anxious as he plays the recordings. "Anyone who says they're not scared during an attack like that is either crazy or they're lying," he says. "If someone is shooting at me, I'm good with that because I can see them and shoot back. But when they're two to five miles off, lobbing 81 mm and 120 mm projectiles, it makes you uneasy because you don't know where they are. Sometimes the insurgents wouldn't even be there. They would freeze the shell, put it in ice, and place it in the mortar gun. Once the heat from the sun melted the ice, the mortar would be released. We were attacked at least once a week over there. There were some people who couldn't deal with it. One guy had shrapnel come through the window where he was and he lost it right there. They sent him home." Thomas spent the next several years in the military and one year in Iraq. After he was discharged, he began working as a firefighter again. Soon after, he began his career in public safety.

"I don't do well around fireworks anymore. Anyone who says they're not scared during an attack like that is either crazy or they're lying."

*Names have been changed.

Shocking News "At least two or three times a week, we receive emergency calls on people who are considering suicide," he says. "My first personal experience involving suicide was when I was attending college. I was at a party and a young man had taken a hallucinogenic drug. He took his own life in the bathroom. "When I was in boot camp, there were people there who attempted suicide and, unfortunately, some who actually did die by suicide. There was one man who died in front of all of us. The drill instructors dealt with it by joking about it during our training." When a mutual friend called Thomas last year to give him the news of James' suicide, he was floored. "You never think that person would ever do something like that," he says. "James was just this

happy-go-lucky, little towheaded, freckled kid. I didn't know this, but I was told he'd been in rehab a couple of times. I guess life and other things just got to him. But, there's always a way to cope with problems in your life if you will just open up and talk to someone." Thomas just couldn't comprehend why James had chosen suicide as an option. "The 'what ifs,' and 'whys' are always going to be the hell for the survivors of suicide loss," he relates. In fact, James' passing affected Thomas so much that he experienced a breakdown shortly after hearing the news. "I had thoughts of suicide myself after I heard about James," he shares. "All of that began messing with my head one night while I was at work. I had a lot going on in my life, and I was on the verge of feeling like, 'I can't do this. I just cannot do this.' I

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called a friend to help me make it through." That friend dropped everything to speak to Thomas and allowed him the space to discuss everything that was bothering him. The friend was able to talk him through the crisis. "Just talk to somebody," he says. "That's what you need to do. Whatever it takes for you to not take that final step. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. There is nothing on this earth that can't be worked through."

Post Traumatic Stress Post-traumatic stress (PTS) is a mental health condition that's triggered by a terrifying event – either witnessed or experienced. Symptoms may include severe anxiety, nightmares and flashbacks, as well as uncontrollable thoughts about the event, according to the Mayo Clinic. "To be honest, I probably had PTS before it was a thing," he explains. "Everyone acts like it's a new thing. I think they used to call it shell shock. In addition to my time in the military and overseas, I've seen so much tragedy in my 30-plus years. Car accidents, suicides, fires, natural causes, assaults. There are some things that I have nightmares about.

It may affect me a little. I'm good with it. I've got ghosts who are always with me – we're friends. "I don't mean ghosts in the literal sense, but those in particular are the ones that keep coming back to me over and over again. I will never stop thinking about and playing out the circumstances of their deaths over and over in my mind. Do they wake me up at night sometimes? Yes. I'm not alone. If you've been in this business for a while, you're going to have those memories, those crap moments, the 'what could I have done?' moments, those traumatic mental and physical experiences." Thomas is adamant that the word "disorder" should not be used. He says that when PTS is labeled as a disorder it makes people who have severe PTS doubt that they will be able to function normally. "There are people out there who have PTS really bad," he says. "I have two close friends who have it now. One of them lost a lot of people in Afghanistan. People who have PTS are put in a different category by society. It's as if they are broken toys – 'Let's get him out and play with him for awhile. Put him in the military or in public safety.' Then, when he has PTS from all he's been through, it's, 'Oh well, now he's breaking, so let's put him over here out of the way instead.' That's the way it seems."

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The Veterans Administration (VA) has been of little help to him, according to Thomas. He says the psychologists aren't interested in really listening or helping veterans. "I freaked out one time in a public place," he shares. "I don't do well in crowds â&#x20AC;&#x201C; especially in crowds of people I don't know, so I had to leave. I went to talk to the psychologist at the VA about it. His advice was to immerse myself more with people. Worthless. Usually, the VA's answer is,'Take this or that pill to fix the problem.'"

Dealing With Daily Trauma Along with the usual life experiences all human beings deal with on a daily basis, first responders, firefighters, EMS and law enforcement must also immerse themselves in the often exacerbated and heightened personal problems of the public. Not to mention the tragedies and the frightening criminal situations they experience daily in public service. "We don't ever get to see the best of people," he explains. "You're not going to call me to come over to your house to have milk and cookies. You're going to call me to come to your house during your worst moments, when something is wrong. And everyone in this business feels like they have to pretend â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 'It doesn't bother me. I'm good.' But all of these experiences build up and it's like a pressure cooker. It has to go somewhere. Eventually you have to deal with them. They are not going to go away. Unfortunately, there is no control-alt-delete that can reset my brain. Those experiences are always going to be with me." Although there are universal Employee Assistance Programs in place with therapists available, he says most people in public safety are afraid of using these support systems for fear of being labeled as weak, or worse, being forced to take time off or losing their jobs. And more efforts need to be focused on giving first responders a safe space to seek help for their trauma without fear of recrimination. "They think, 'You know, if I go in there and talk to this therapist, they're going to say I need a couple of weeks off, or I need this or that,'" he relates. "I can't do that. I have bills to pay. I love my job. I love what I do. I'm going to lose everything in my career that I love because I can't handle it, or I can't deal with it. But I'm trying to deal with it by getting help. But asking for help looks like I'm not dealing with it very well, if that makes sense. It's a double-edged sword." There is the additional burden of not being

able to share experiences with loved ones for fear of transferring the trauma to them. "It's hard to go home to your spouse, and when she asks you how your day was, for you to say, 'Oh, you know, it was good. I responded to a call today where a baby was almost beaten to death by her mom's boyfriend or another guy did this awful thing or one girl did this.'" He says the best thing you can do is to find a neutral person you can trust who will listen without judgement, and one who won't sugarcoat or dismiss the issues. "What I see is that a lot of people are reluctant to say 'I need some help. Help me work this problem out,' or they are afraid to go to their partner and ask them to help them get through this." He is grateful to the friend who listened that night when he was contemplating suicide, and encourages anyone struggling with PTS or suicidal thoughts to pause for a moment and realize they don't have to go through this alone. "Take a step back and say, 'I need to talk to somebody,'" he says. "It can be a friend, your pastor or a counselor. The person I called that night really helped me. Keep going. Don't give up. Don't keep things bottled up inside. You can work with the problem, cope with the problem and move through the problem. And if someone comes to you wanting to talk, all you have to do is listen. "You are not alone in this world. Male, female, we are all human. If we can be open to asking for help, or be willing to make ourselves available to someone who needs to talk, there will be a snowball effect. Even if just one life is saved, that one person will hopefully go on to impact others in a positive way. We can all choose to be there for someone in need." WGW

My Forever Journey By Patty Wenck as told to high school teens at the 16th Annual Power in Truth Conference in Douglasville, Ga.

Alex David Cordasco

Alex, third from left, with his siblings. Photo courtesy of Patty Wenck.

lex, our grandson, lived with us as a child off and on. We took care of him, he was in our home and we watched him grow up and have brothers and sisters. He was very artistic and was excellent in math and science. What he could do with a piece of paper and an ink pen – the intricacies and details that he could draw was amazing. He could take an Etch a Sketch® and create the most remarkable picture.

Substance Abuse Takes Hold I don't know at what point the drugs and alcohol came into his life, but I know that by the time he was 13 to 14 years old, that influence had already become a presence in his life. That was a way of escape for him. Sometimes life seems too harsh and may feel like it's more than we can handle. So, drugs and alcohol are used as a way of numbing, becoming a part of a group or fulfilling

F eb ru ary 1 7 , 1 9 9 2 – J u ne 10, 2015

whatever the need may be for a person. By the time Alex was a freshman in high school, things were starting to get out of control. He moved in with me and my husband and attended school in Lithia Springs, Ga., his freshman year. After finishing the year, he went back home, hoping things would be better. He still had a tremendous amount of baggage he was dealing with and, as a result, he moved into a facility for kids who are having challenges. He lived there for two years and continued to attend high school. Once he moved out of the facility, he moved back home, went through his last year of high school and graduated. After graduation, things began to worsen again for Alex. A lot of his problems stemmed from the environment that he chose. He had returned to those same influences that had surrounded him a few years earlier. Alex began using drugs and drinking heavily again and would bounce from job to job.

After a time, he realized he was an alcoholic and needed professional help. He went to an amazing facility in Georgia, did very well in the program and came back home – clean and sober. He participated with the mandatory drug testing that he was required to have through the program and began seeing a counselor – whom he admired and respected – regularly.

The Illusion of Truth

Suicide's Affect on the Family Years ago, suicide was something that was never discussed. It just wasn't something that a family would talk about. There is still a stigma to suicide that keeps people from really talking about it and discussing what can be done to possibly help others. I want to share with you what a family goes through after losing a loved one to suicide, because this is one of the areas that doesn't seem to be talked about – the answer to the question, "What does the family deal with after a suicide loss?" And, I think it needs to be said. When someone dies by suicide, the family and friends experience considerable trauma. The guilt that family members feel is immense. I would say to myself, "If I'd had another 10 minutes, what could I have said to him? What could my husband and I have said to him that day? Did we say everything we needed to say?" I don't know. I thought we did, but that's all that we can do. As survivors of a suicide loss, we cannot carry that sense of responsibility. We do the best we can.

No matter how much support we gave him. No matter how much support his mom gave him. No matter how much support his counselor gave him, Alex could not change his thoughts about who he was inside. He would often say, "I'm always a failure;" "I never do anything right;" "I'm not surprised I lost my job because nothing ever works out for me." I've found that when someone is speaking in this way, these are signs that they have programmed themselves to believe these things are true. For example, if someone says, "I'm always late," then they are usually always late. Our subconscious does not understand what is our truth. It only understands what we tell it, and that becomes our truth. So if that part isn't changed within the person themselves, then that is what they will believe. There is no "why," in regard to what happened with Alex. I could list all of the things I observed, things I saw and things I believe, but that really doesn't make any difference. My daughter says she doesn't want to know. And I'm not sure Alex could really explain it if he were here. My grandson was only 23 years old when he took his own life. Suicide has nothing to do with age, race or financial status. In my opinion, it has to do with the damage that is inside someone. I believe there is a hole inside of the person that honestly, I really can't relate to, and chances are, you may not be able to relate to those feelings, either. It's not something we can look at and use our logic to try and figure out what to do or how to handle it, because we are not at the same emotional place as that individual. It may be something long-term such as childhood trauma or it may be Patty shows a photo of her grandson, Alex, to a group of teens. Photo taken some immediate trauma, such as a job from a recording provided by Live Healthy Douglas County's 16th Annual Powloss or a breakup. er of Truth Conference (vimeo.com/192812667).

On June 10, 2015, somewhere between 3 and 3:30 a.m., my phone rang. There's obviously something wrong when you receive a phone call that early in the morning. I answered the phone, and my daughter was on the line. At first, I didn't even know who was calling. I couldn't even understand what she was saying because she was so hysterical. She kept saying "He's gone," over and over. It still didn't dawn on me what she meant by that. I told her I could not understand what she was telling me. She said, "Mom, he killed himself. I just found him." And I just fell apart right there. I woke my husband and told my daughter we would leave immediately. She told us there were so many people there already that we should just come when we were able. So, we waited on our son who had flown in from Indianapolis and picked him up from the airport. When we arrived at my daughter's house, she explained to us what had happened. Alex had sent a text to his girlfriend, the mother of his little girl. He told her that he was sorry, and the last text he sent to her said, "Tell Mom it's not her fault." She immediately contacted our daughter, who went to check on Alex in his bedroom above the garage. The lights were on and the music was playing, but the door was locked. It never occurred to her that Alex may have hurt

himself. He had given no indication that he was in distress. He had been at work earlier and had played with his little brother that evening. She said he had seemed fine. My husband and I had spoken to him two weeks earlier, and he was planning to come for a visit. His life seemed to be going well, and he was pleased with how he was doing. She unlocked the door and went into his room. It was then that she discovered that Alex had taken his own life. What she saw that morning is the last vision she will have of her child. Do you think that is ever going to go away? No. That will never go away. And every family that has gone through this, has had this type of thing happen to them. That traumatic image is the last thing they will see of their loved one. For the next several hours, my daughter had to deal with the police walking through her home, the coroner was there and others were going through his room and examining Alex. She called her exhusband to come and get their other kids out of the house before they learned what had happened. When they were ready to bring Alex out, the coroner told my daughter that she needed to go somewhere else. She protested, telling him that she needed to see Alex. He told her, "I've done this for years. You don't want to see him." So her neighbor took her to her house while they brought Alex out

"A Friend Asks" is a free smart-phone app provided by The Jason Foundation to help provide the information, tools and resources to help a friend (or yourself) who may be struggling with thoughts of suicide. Download on Google Play or the App Store today. 36

and put him in the ambulance. The next thing my daughter had to go through was choosing pictures of Alex to be used during the funeral home visitation. That is something a mother should never have to do. For a long time, she couldn't go up to his room. It was about six months later before she could go up there, and then she couldn't stay very long. But to have to do these things, to go through all of these experiences, is extremely traumatic for the family.

The Dangers of Substance Abuse There were many empty bottles of liquor in his room, which may or may not have been the driving force behind Alex taking his own life. But – the thing is – he absolutely adored his mother, and he knew she would be the one to find him. There is absolutely no way that he would ever hurt her in that way – unless he was under the influence of something else. Drugs and alcohol are very dangerous. So many people use them as an escape, as a way to numb things or change reality; to change the way they interact, to be popular or change who they think they are. So, if at that time drugs and alcohol are changing that immediate perspective, what makes someone think that it isn't a permanent change in the brain? How can it be temporary and not eventually have an impact on who the person is and how they deal with life?

Be The Light My forever journey is repeated constantly from June 10, 2015. That won't change. That is something I live over and over and over again. But, what do we do with this horrible tragedy and that time? That is why I'm sharing my story with you. You may have no concept of this at this time or you may already be thinking of someone you can reach out to. It may be that this story is one you will be able to sit down and share with someone you are concerned about. It only takes one act of kindness, one act of looking past ourselves and reaching out to someone who we can see is struggling. If we can train ourselves to really watch for those people – whether it's a little one, one in school or an adult – we have to do something to try to at least recognize where there is pain. We have to reach out and be the ones who smile at a person who may be lonely or sad. We have to be the ones to show others they have value. My great-grandaughter was 18 months old when

Alex, with his daughter. Photo courtesy of Patty Wenck.

Alex passed away. She has been such a gift, but she will never know her dad, except through pictures. She looks just like him. So, we have a piece of him, and that is such a blessing for us. What Alex could have brought to this world, the things he could have done – we are losing too many people who have talents and gifts they could share with the world because they don't feel as if they can belong or they believe they can't get out of that hole they find themselves in. It's up to us. It's up to me to share my story. It's up to each one of us to reach out and do whatever we can. There are things we can do, and if it's one person that we save, we've done something amazing for us and for them and for everyone else. It's only united as one – the way were created to be – that we can change what is happening in our communities and in our country. Don't forget the value of every person. We never know when a smile or a touch may make a huge difference in someone's life. One little light in a dark room lights up all of the corners. We can each be that light for one another. WGW

Daily Fare With

e s o R f e Ch

Chef photos by Keith May

Rose Isaacs is a native of Carroll County and lives in Carrollton with her husband Shawn and their son, Sebastian. She graduated from West Georgia Technical College in 2013 with a degree in Culinary Arts. After graduation, she began her career as a chef at the Carrollton Kroger Marketplace where she works in the bistro. Recipe photos by Mark Steffey.

This pasta salad can be made one day in advance and is perfect for a Labor Day barbecue side dish.

Caprese Tortellini Pasta Salad Ingredients 20 ounces Tortellini Pasta, cheese- or meatfilled 1/2 cup fresh pearl-sized mozzarella 15 to 20 fresh basil leaves, shredded 1 cup cherry tomatoes 1 tablespoon minced garlic 1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil, plus more for drizzling Salt and pepper, to taste

Preparation Cook the pasta according to the directions on the package, drain, then chill

under cold running water. Toss with a couple tablespoons of olive oil. Set aside. In a medium skillet, heat 2 to 3 tablespoons of olive oil over medium-heat. Add tomatoes and garlic and cook â&#x20AC;&#x201C; tossing frequently â&#x20AC;&#x201C; for about 5 minutes. Using the back of a spoon, gently smash some of the tomatoes to release the juices. Remove from heat and season with salt and pepper. In a bowl, toss pasta with cooked tomatoes and all of the juices, 2 to 3 tablespoons of extra virgin olive oil, salt and pepper. Cover and completely cool in a refrigerator. Once cooled, add mozzarella and shredded basil. Serves 6 to 8.

” This Moroccan-influenced chicken dish pairs perfectly with a side of couscous for a no-fuss weeknight dinner.”

Honey Apricot Chicken

Ingredients

1 whole chicken or 8 pieces – legs and thighs 1 sweet onion, sliced

1 teaspoon sesame oil 1 tablespoon honey

2 tablespoons apricot preserves 1 teaspoon cinnamon 1/4 teaspoon ginger

1/2 teaspoon turmeric

1/2 teaspoon garlic powder

1/2 teaspoon onion powder 1/4 teaspoon black pepper 1/2 teaspoon salt

1/4 teaspoon cumin

1 teaspoon sesame seeds 1/4 cup dried apricots

Preparation In a small bowl, combine cinnamon, turmeric, garlic powder, onion powder, pepper, salt, cumin and sesame seeds. Mix well and set aside. Place the sliced onions in the bottom of a slow cooker. Rub chicken with sesame oil, honey and apricot preserves. Sprinkle prepared seasoning mix over chicken and rub on all sides. Place chicken on top of sliced onions in the slow cooker and top with dried apricots. Cook on low for 8 hours. Serves 4. WGW

An Antidote to Ward Off Depression

Any type of consistent physical activity or exercise may keep depression at bay. Physical activity is a consistent pattern of movements, while exercise is a more structured pattern of those movements. To be effective, exercise must elevate your heart rate. It is important to note that everyone doesn't exercise the same way. Therefore, each person’s targeted elevated heart rate will be different. Keep in mind that more intensity while exercising is not always better, and exercise does not have to be strenuous to be effective. If there is any discomfort while exercising, it is okay to slow down. Talk to your doctor before beginning any type of strenuous or sustained exercise routine.

Ease Into An Exercise Routine Marked improvement in mood, behavior and health is noticeable after a pattern of at least 15 minutes of daily exercise. For those who are depressed, this may seem difficult. However, with consistency, duration will increase. An hour daily is the optimum length of time to exercise to notice significant mood changes. If you are not able to attain that, then, a minimum of 10 to 30 minutes three times weekly will contribute to mood elevation. An exercise plan to manage your mood

epression is the leading cause of disability in the United States for those age 15 to 44, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, and about 1 in 10 women experience symptoms of depressed mood regularly. Depression, like diabetes is a disease. It can manifest as a pattern of sad feelings, worthlessness, irritability, lethargy, isolation, unexplained aches and pains, as well as significant changes in eating or sleeping habits.

The Alternate Antidote Like any disease that may progress, people sometimes are prescribed medication to feel better. There are many who strongly dislike taking medication, or simply prefer other options. Pills aren't the only solution to help people who suffer from mild to moderate depression. Research has shown that exercise can also be an effective treatment. Although this alternative is not "one size fits all," it can make a difference in managing your mood and minimizing the symptoms. It is simple and sometimes free, but it takes commitment to see significant changes.

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Staying Motivated • Mix up your exercise routine. If you choose walking, choose a different environment to walk in each week. Never use “feelings” to support your exercise routine. Feelings will fail you, and you may talk yourself out of exercising. • Find an accountability partner. It's much easier to convince yourself to exercise when you have someone who is counting on you to exercise with them. Sometimes, you may have to resort to keeping yourself accountable. Setting a goal of rolling out of bed to complete 15 minutes of exercise daily may be a more realistic goal than an hour daily. • Choose a time to exercise that is best for

you. If you know you are a morning person, do not put off exercise to the evening. If you had planned on exercising during the lunch hour and did not get to do so, find another time that works best for you and just do it!

The Benefits of Exercise for Depressed Mood • Participating in any type of physical activity helps to distract and free the mind from focusing on the negative patterns of thinking which comes along with depression. As a consistent pattern of exercise is established, thoughts change, and more positive and hope-filled habits are formed. • Sustained exercise increases serotonin levels, which positively impact focused attention. • Exercise contributes to better sleeping patterns and memory recall. Improved sleep and lowered blood pressure are other healthy side effects of exercising. Depression frequently disturbs sleep and leads to forgetfulness.

• A monitored exercise regimen leads to relief of unexplained aches and pain. Many who are depressed often report aches and pains for which physicians are unable to pinpoint the true cause. • Exercise energizes the body, relieving it of fatigue, another symptom of depression. • Consistent exercise leads to a better perception of self. While depressed, people often see themselves as worthless failures, unable to achieve goals. Being able to get out of bed and complete a 10- to 15-minute exercise program reminds the individual of her worth and that she is capable of goal achievement. • As exercise is sustained, weight loss becomes visible. Weight gain is often a result of depressed mood due to emotional eating. • Exercising outdoors relaxes the body and gives a sense of belonging. A symptom of depressed mood is isolation or withdrawal from others. As the individual begins to feel better and gain confidence, she may meet people along the way while exercising. Seeing new or familiar faces or even exchanging a simple hello triggers elevated mood.

Exercise is a powerful antidote for depressed mood. It promotes a variety of positive changes in the brain and creates new activity patterns promoting an overall feeling of wellbeing. Be gentle to yourself as you attempt to incorporate exercise to manage your mood. Find a balance and remember that relapse can sometimes be part of the journey. See a professional counselor to help keep you accountable as you choose this antidote to manage depressed mood. WGW Cheryl A. Francis, Licensed Professional Counselor, is the owner of The Heart Matters Wellness Services LLC, a full-service counseling agency. She is certified as a Mental Health First Aid Adult trainer and regularly provides seminars and trainings to the community on various mental health issues. She has partnered with the Georgia Center for Child Advocacy to train individuals in the prevention of childhood sexual abuse. Visit heartmatterswellness.com for more information about Cheryl and her work.

Bullying Hurts More Than The Victim • •

• •

•

Bullying has serious and lasting negative effects on the mental health and overall well-being of youth. Bullying contributes to depression, anxiety, sexual and interpersonal violence, substance abuse, poor school performance and attendance, and poor social functioning in youth who bully others, youth who are bullied and youth who are both bullied and bully others. Youth who report frequently bullying others and those who report being bullied frequently are at increased risk for suicide-related behaviors. Youth who report both bullying others and being bullied (bully-victims) have the highest risk for suicide-related behavior of any groups that report involvement in bullying. Youth who observe and don’t participate in bullying behavior feel helpless and have significantly more feelings of not being supported by or connected with responsible adults (parents and school teachers/administration).

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Kidz Korner By Charlene Brooks Photos by Zachary Dailey

Mason Jar Lid Pumpkins

ay "hello" to fall with these fun and easy autumn-themed crafts. These mason jar lid pumpkins make lovely fall centerpieces, and these wooden autumn drink coasters will add a warm and colorful touch of nature to any table.

Materials Mason jar lids Twine Green leaves Cork for stem Green and orange paint Hot glue gun Paint brushes Scissors Parchment paper to protect your workspace Instructions Cover your workspace with parchment paper. Paint 12 mason jar lids orange and allow to dry. Paint the cork green and allow to dry. Cut a piece of twine about 24 inches long. Run the twine through the lids and shape into a pumpkin. Tie off the twine and cut the excess. Glue the cork and the leaves in the center on top.

Autumn Drink Coasters Materials Round wooden discs Fine point marker Leaf and acorn stencils

Instructions

Clear acrylic sealer Green and brown paint Paint brush

Lay the leaf stencil on top of the wooden disc. Using the green paint and a paintbrush, fill in all areas of the stencil. Allow to dry. Take the fine point marker and draw veins onto the stenciled leaf. When discs are dry, place them outdoors. Spray the clear acrylic sealer on the discs and allow to dry. WGW

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Jullian Amber Lawson April 30, 2000 – August 28, 2014 Word Bank Prevention

Awareness Hope

Reach out Education

Self care Emotion

Problem solving Medication

You matter

Call someone

Life matters Mental health

Bright future Treatment

Choose life

You are loved 46

Ask for help

Word search created at puzzle-maker.com

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West Georgia Woman Magazine September 2019

Articles inside

Overcoming Tragedy

West Georgia Technical College KnightCare