West Georgia Woman Magazine February 2018 by West Georgia Woman Magazine/Angel Media, LLC

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Michelle Morgan Leading by Example

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Passion For People

That Kind Of Friend

Is It Codependency?

Dying To Be Thin

Making History: Early AfricanAmerican Women In Georgia

Prenatal Infection Prevention

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Michelle Morgan Leading by Example

Amazing African-American Georgia Women

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January 15, 2018

Ready for Spring

The year has just begun, and we have already experienced sadness in our family. My mother's sister, Karen Sentell, passed away on Jan. 15 at the young age of 61. She was a sweet and kind person and will be missed by many. Please say a prayer for her siblings who lost a sister, my 91-year-old grandmother who lost another child, my cousins who lost their mother and grandmother and the rest of our family. I thought we might escape receiving any more of the really cold and wet weather we experienced in December, but then we received more snow and ice last month. I don't know about you, but I am ready for spring! Just thinking about warmer temperatures and longer days lifts my spirits. In This Issue

Our cover feature this month is Mrs. Michelle Morgan. Michelle is one of those people you could write an entire book about because she does so much for the community. I honestly don't know how she does everything she does! Carroll County Commissioner, local business owner, doting mother, community partner and philanthropist, Michelle is deeply involved in making West Georgia the best it can be. Read about Michelle as she shares with us her passion for people on page 10. Do you have a codependent personality? Do you feel as if you can't live without your significant other's approval, always sacrificing your wants and needs to take care of them and receive only heartache in return? On page 24, Cheryl Francis, L.P.C., explores the reasons behind codependent behaviors and how you can free yourself once and for all from the bonds of codependency. As I was researching Georgia history last year, I came upon an interesting article about African-American women born and raised â&#x20AC;&#x201C; or transplanted to â&#x20AC;&#x201C; the state of Georgia who made significant contributions to their communities and society as a whole. From Georgia's first African-American Catholic nun, to a woman who devoted her life to social work and helping women and girls, to the founder and first president of the National Congress of Colored Parents and Teachers Association, explore the contributions made by these amazing Georgia women on page 28. It is with a heavy heart that I announce that Julie Culpepper has stepped down from her position as chef for West Georgia Woman magazine due to personal reasons. Julie has been with us since day one, and we are all saddened that she is leaving. Julie, as our chef, and Michelle Horsley, as our food photographer, did an amazing job. I will miss them both personally, and their significant contributions to this publication. Before Julie left, she helped bring Chef Rose Isaacs on board. We are excited to have Rose as our chef, and we have changed the layout of our Daily Fare column. We hope you enjoy the new look! Thank you for reading West Georgia Woman magazine. We continue to be overwhelmed and humbled by the wonderful response we receive from our readers every month. We appreciate you so much! Stay warm,

Publisher

Finding our voice. Knowing our value. Making a difference. TM

West Georgia Woman is a voice for and about the women who live and work in West Georgia. Our mission is to engage, inspire, and cultivate a cohesive community for all women in West Georgia by sharing our hopes, our dreams and our lives. This magazine would not be possible without the inclusion of our advertisers. Please be sure to show your support by doing business with these VIP’s (very important partners) so we will be able to continue to share with you our stories about amazing West Georgia women! Please be sure to tell them we sent you! Inspiring women wanted.

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Zachary@westgeorgiawoman.com Angela Brooks Dailey, owner and publisher of West Georgia Woman magazine, has lived in West Georgia most of her life and has a deep love and appreciation for the area. She received her B.B.A in management from The University of West Georgia in Carrollton, Ga., and is a Civil and Domestic Relations mediator and arbitrator registered with the Georgia Office of Dispute Resolution. She lives in Carrollton, and has two wonderful children, Zachary and Sydney Dailey. Angela enjoys reading, spending time with her children and extended family and loves to watch Sydney play soccer.

Passion for People Photos by Keith May 10

Michelle Morgan Leads by Example By Janet Flanigan

hile Michelle Morgan may not have been born in her adoptive home town of Carrollton, Ga., her passion for Carroll County and its people runs so deep it flows through her veins. As a college student attending the University of West Georgia, she never considered her concern for others would lead her to run for public office. But not only did she run, Michelle won the race, and now represents District 4 on the Carroll County Board of Commissioners.

Life Lessons A vivacious and attractive brunette, Michelle was born in Rock Island, Ill., then her family moved to St. Louis when she was a toddler. When she entered first grade, Michelle, her parents and two brothers moved from St. Louis to DeKalb County, Ga., where her parents still reside today. From her earliest days, Michelle’s mother instilled the values of higher education, hard work and service to others as the key to a life well-lived.

Michelle embraced those teachings as absolute truisms. Those values and beliefs were tested when Michelle was in the sixth grade. Her father, who suffered from alcoholism, was involved in an auto accident that resulted in financial hardship for the family. “I had a happy childhood, but also an unhappy childhood, if that makes sense,” she says. While she had loving parents, success in school and productive hobbies such as sewing and reading, the stressors caused by her father’s illness and resulting difficulties did cause anxieties within the family. A positive outcome from this tragedy was Michelle came to recognize if she wanted success in life, it would be totally up to her. One driving thought was her mother’s perpetual admonition that she had to go to college, no matter what. "My mother always told me 'If you ever have to take care of yourself and your family and you have a college degree, you will have the tools to do it,'" she explains.

Michelle's sewing room in her home. She still sews as a hobby, but made all of her own clothing in high school. Inset: One of Michelle's beautiful hand-sewn creations.

Working Toward a Goal At Towers High School in Decatur, Ga., Michelle was an involved student and was elected president of the Keywanettes (the women’s chapter of the Kiwanis Key Club), and she also ran track for one year. Eventual college attendance was a given, but paying for that higher education certainly was not. The family’s financial insecurity led high-schooler Michelle to work at both McDonald’s and at Davison’s department store for spending money and to save funds for college. “I loved working at McDonald’s and the store,” Michelle exclaims. “I truly believe if every person had experience working in retail we’d all be nicer to each other.” Beginning at age 14, her pay scale started at the then-minimum wage rate of $1.90 per hour, and eventually, it rose to $2.10 per hour. With those modest paychecks, Michelle saved enough money to help pay for college. Ultimately, she had to take out some student loans but her savings sent her on her way.

A New Chapter As a high school senior, teenage Michelle began her hunt for the right college. Accepted to both the University of Georgia and Georgia Tech, she says she could not afford Georgia and didn’t want to live at home to attend Tech. "I had never set foot on the campus at the University of West Georgia (UWG), but when I decided to go there it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made!” she shares. Michelle’s love for learning and the drive to earn a practical degree led her to study for a bachelor of business administration. Even with working two or three jobs while enrolled in college, Michelle finished her undergraduate degree in four years. After graduation, she decided to get an advanced degree at UWG. “When I finished my undergraduate degree, I felt like I needed another year at school," she relates. "I wanted to learn more about business and decided to get my MBA.” Michelle did not spend all her college years with her nose in the books – she made plenty of time for fun and friends. Blessed with a personality that makes strangers feel like instant friends, Michelle decided to join one of the sororities at the college. She surrounded herself with people she respected and trusted, and in whom she could both get and receive advice and mentoring. Some of her most treasured college memories are from her participation in the Alpha Gamma Delta

International Fraternity (AGD) – and bonds with her peers in the organization remain strong to this day. Not only did this affiliation provide her with the social opportunities to make a wide range of friends, but Michelle found she was able to put again her mother’s preaching of service to others into practice. She takes her membership in AGD very seriously and has embraced the organization’s motto and purpose. “Our fraternity has a purpose, part of which is the line ‘to welcome the opportunity of contributing to the world’s work in the community where I am placed because of the joy of service thereby bestowed and the talent of leadership multiplied,'” she explains. Her affiliation with Alpha Gamma Delta did not end with graduation. She has held several alumni offices and served as a trustee for the International Alpha Gamma Delta foundation. Two main functions of the group’s philanthropy focus on service and fundraising. AGD has chosen “fighting hunger” as their emphasis for their altruistic efforts and these ideologies and ideas have served as drivers for Michelle in her adult life. Michelle and her husband Jimmy, through their business, Morgan Oil, also support the initiative to fight hunger by providing fuel for the Carroll County

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Turning The Page Interestingly, while attaining her MBA, Michelle attended job fairs and spoke to job recruiters, only to be told she was overqualified for their entry-level positions. Never one to let an obstacle prevent her from reaching her goal, Michelle turned to her good friend and classmate Brenda Dangle to discuss her next steps. At age 22, Michelle decided she wouldn’t wait on others to hire her; instead she would open her own business. She told Brenda she’d always wanted to own an independent book store and Brenda was so supportive, she said she would partner with her. Michelle readily admits the two women had no idea about opening a bookstore – or any business for that matter – but that didn’t stop them from forging ahead with their plans. “First we did a market survey all around Carroll County to see if citizens were supportive of another independent bookstore – along with Hortons, a religious-oriented bookstore – in Carrollton,” she says. Those surveys confirmed another bookstore

would be positively received. “Next we needed to raise the money for the store," she relates. "We sold stock in our future business and met with local bankers – most of whom turned us down. But the lender at Carrollton Federal Bank read our market surveys, considered our education and took a chance on us." In addition, several local people purchased the stock the women were offering. Their bookstore, “A Likely Story,” was opened at Crossroads Shopping Center in Carrollton. One of the most valuable lessons she took away from owning the business is that when in need, ask for help from your friends and acquaintances. On the day all of their shelving, furniture and books arrived, the two young store owners realized they had not prepared for how to get everything into the store. Michelle put her talent for rallying people to work. “I called my sorority sisters, college friends, anyone I could think of and asked them to bring their boyfriends and friends over to help us set up the bookstore, and they did,” Michelle recalls. “Richard Culpepper, a real estate developer and owner of the Crossroads Shopping Center, saw how hard we were working and he actually sent over some of his employees to assist us,” she shares. Michelle has always been grateful for that outpouring of support. While she no longer owns a bookstore, Michelle still loves to read and is a member of the Book Discussion Committee at UWG. She prefers the printed version of books because she likes to turn the pages, but with her busy schedule that's not always possible. “I hate to admit it, but I do a lot of books on Audible now” she says. She just finished Bombingham by Anthony Grooms, a book selected for the group’s spring multicultural book discussion. “I also just finished reading Joselyn Jackson’s Almost Sisters," she says. "I met Joselyn at a UWG reception and we had much in common.” Some of Michelle's favorite books include: "The Art of Racing in the Rain;" "A Man Called Ove;" "Christy" and "Circle of Friends." When her children were little, she read to them nightly such books as the "Mouse on the Motorcycle" series, the "Magic Treehouse" and "Harry Potter" before they began reading for themselves.

From Books to Oil One day on her way to work at the bookstore, she stopped by her favorite convenience store to

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purchase gas. A cute, affable young man was working behind the counter and he recognized Michelle. “He told me that we had been in a finance class together at UWG and he had been telling a mutual friend he wanted to ask me out," she recalls. "So after we met at the convenience store, he did." That young man was Jimmy Morgan, whose family owned the convenience store and Morgan Oil, a locally owned oil and gas supplier to businesses and convenience stores. They married in 1992. Shortly after the wedding Michelle sold her share in the bookstore to Brenda, and, for a time she decided to work on creating a home for herself and Jimmy. Their son, Patrick, came along in 1998, Michael in 1999 and Elizabeth followed in 2001. Morgan Oil has been fueling West Georgia since 1933, and they currently own eight convenience stores throughout West Georgia. They are a fuel distributor to independent dealers under the BP brand in Carroll, Haralson and Heard counties, have tank wagon service delivering off-road fuel and Photo by Glenn Holmes sell industrial lubricants. Jimmy’s parents took The Morgans from left: Elizabeth, Michael, Jimmy, Patrick, Caesar and Michelle. over the business from his on additional responsibilities to help her husband. grandparents; mother, Betty, was the receptionist, and his father, Bobby, drove the delivery truck. In 1984, Bobby passed away, Growth from Within and Jimmy, at the very young age of 19, took over running the company. As the third generation Fortunately, Michelle is talented with organization. came on board, Morgan Oil experienced a period She began working part-time with the family of tremendous growth with the conversion from a business, with an initial primary responsibility of wholesale to a retail operation. administering the employee’s health insurance. Michelle has always viewed her marriage as a true “We have always offered our employees health partnership both with the family and the business. insurance. It’s important for them to be healthy,” she When her mother-in-law decided to step back from explains. She expanded her company involvement her duties with Morgan Oil, Michelle began taking by drawing upon another talent: her ability to

connect with people. Michelle truly loves the Morgan Oil employees and customers and she makes it a regular practice to drop in to their various retail stores and say hello. Most of the employees at Morgan Oil are women, and Michelle tries to get their opinions and feedback in as many areas as possible. Their convenience stores were early in adopting the practice of having healthy food and snack options. “Tanner Health Systems were impressed with the healthy options in our stores!” she exclaims, but she readily admits they stock what the customers want. She is often accompanied on her visits to the stores with their beautiful standard poodle named Caesar. “Caesar is beloved everywhere he goes!" she shares. "He is a great way to bring people together and have lovely conversations."

Civic Involvement Throughout the years, Michelle has had the opportunity to cultivate some beautiful and longlasting friendships with many women in West Georgia, and those friendships continue to be a significant force in her life. One of her first major volunteer efforts was with the building of the Castle Playground in Carrollton. “We had Patrick, and I was pregnant with Michael when Pam Uglum [a local business owner] started the effort to build a Castle Playground in Carrollton," she says. "After visiting the one volunteers built in Newnan, I jumped on board with her. I met some of my best friends like Carolyn Cary and Deborah Pierce through my four years of work helping get the park up and running." It was during this time that Michelle learned about the importance of fundraising. “Roy Richards, Jr. [chairman of Southwire] is the one who taught me how to be a good fundraiser,” she explains. “He told me we can’t ask others for money unless we also donate our own time and money.” Another friend came calling for help when Patrick was in the ninth grade. “Trent North, the principal at Carrollton Middle School, was concerned about graduation rates and asked for my help for the Communities in Schools program for Carrollton City and Carroll County schools,” she shares. “Graduation rates at that time were at about 85 percent, and I thought ‘that’s not so bad.' But then I thought about the 15 percent who were dropping out, and then multiplied that by school upon school. That meant hundreds and hundreds of teens were dropping out.

"My husband, Jimmy, encouraged my involvement and said ‘Teens should not be out roaming in the middle of the day but should be in school. They are our future customers and employees and need a good education. This is something you would be good at.' That decided it for me.” While Michelle was a member of the board the organization adopted a mission statement: “To surround students with a community of support, empowering them to stay in school and achieve in life.” One of her first responsibilities was to hire an executive director. Cynthia Langley was chosen for the role because of her work background and caring personality. Over the past six years, the board has been able to fund a site coordinator for each school. The site coordinators meet with individual students to provide them with specific support and guidance to enable them to stay in school and achieve graduation.

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Laura Richards, founder and chair of Friends of the Carrollton GreenBelt, enjoys a run with Caesar and Michelle on the GreenBelt.

times in Israel when the Levites constructed a greenway around old Israel. In more modern times, the movement began in the United Kingdom and swept across the pond. Communities across the nation are recognizing the human need to be outside, connect with nature and enjoy healthier lifestyles. Manhattan, the High Line and Atlanta, the Beltline, both have big city green space programs, but Carrollton was at the forefront with their own community program. The Carrollton GreenBelt is an 18-mile shared-use path designed for pedestrians and non-motorized users (motorized wheelchairs are allowed). The trail connects existing neighborhoods with the city school campus, the University of West Georgia, city parks and several commercial shopping areas. Its success has led neighboring Coweta County to begin its own trail initiative. Laura Richards founded the Carrollton Greenbelt and asked Michelle to get involved in the planning and fundraising. Michelle reached out to her large group of friends to raise money. Today, the GreenBelt is in active daily use, and two of its most frequent visitors are Michelle and her beloved poodle Caesar. In fact, Caesar is so popular along the pathways he is known as the “Unofficial Dog of the Carrollton GreenBelt." Michelle and

Caesar greet friends, strangers and constituents on their daily jogs along the pathways, enjoying beautiful West Georgia vistas and greeting fellow residents on the pathways. Morgan Oil employees and the Morgan family also sponsor an annual GreenBelt 5K run to raise money for the GreenBelt.

A Call For Public Service The chinese philosopher, Lao Tzu, said, “Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Do not resist them for it will lead to sorrow.” Michelle’s life has been a series of natural progressions that eventually led her to her current role as a Carroll County Commissioner. “My decision to get involved came after attending a Board of Commissioner’s meeting. I felt my expertise and knowledge of the community gained from volunteering could help our county,” she says. "I told my husband, 'I think I’m going to run for office,' and no one talked me out of it!” she laughs. With Jimmy's support and that of several friends, it was decided Michelle would run for the District 4 seat on the Board of Commissioners. As with every other facet of her life, Michelle rallied her friends and family. She filled out the

qualifying paperwork to run and planned a very organized campaign highlighting her strengths and experience as an educated business owner, but mostly, she offered to be accessible and to listen to the citizens and what they wanted out of their public servants. Michelle enlisted the help of friends – Jacqueline Dost, Sandra Huey, Melanie McLendon and Mike Daniel – who were instrumental in helping her knock on doors. They helped provide introductions, the opportunity to ask questions and listen. “I was addicted to that part of campaigning," she smiles. "I love people and loved getting out and meeting my fellow Carroll County citizens.” Michelle hired a marketing professional to help create fliers and billboards, and had all of her marketing materials produced locally. “That was really hard for me, seeing my face plastered everywhere. I was uncomfortable with that, but had to do it,” she relates. Rather than disparage her opponents, Michelle’s marketing strictly emphasized her positive attributes and what she would bring to the Commission. As part of her organized plan, Michelle consulted

a plat map and identified where she wanted to place her campaign signs. She then looked up who owned the land, then called and asked if she could place a campaign sign on their land. “I did not place one campaign sign on public land," she shares. "They were only placed on supporters' property."

Her First Term In the first election results, Michelle and the incumbent opponent finished in a run-off. “I was actually excited to be able to knock on doors again,” she says. For the runoff, she enlisted the help of her children and their friends. “I had Post-it® notes printed asking for the citizens’ votes. All those kids fanned out around District 4 placing those Postit® notes on citizens’ mailboxes.” All the work paid off, and she won the run-off election. As a newly elected Commissioner, she was required to take 10 classes and undergo 66 hours of training all over the state. Michelle sometimes felt guilty being away from her home, husband and children, but she knew she was providing a positive role model for them, and always returned to "mom

Michelle and her family on the Morgan Oil segment of the Carrollton GreenBelt. Photo by Glenn Holmes

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Her Work

future for Carroll County families and businesses.” The list of actions taken on behalf of the citizens of Carroll County are long and varied (see page 22 for a list of projects and programs). Public safety and health issues are always top of mind for Michelle but she gives equitable consideration to quality-of-life issues, from outdoor space – including the county parks – to family programs and animal welfare. She is also very cognizant of child welfare, zoning issues, reduced taxation when possible, human resource programs for county workers and so much more. There are many varied and exciting programs with which Michelle and her fellow Commissioners strive to continuously make a difference in the lives of the residents of Carroll County.

Work-Life Balance Michelle spends many hours in her service as a County Commissioner. In addition to the reading and preparation for each and every meeting, she also fields countless daily telephone calls and emails from her constituents. Then there is the time and money out of her pocket to communicate her work to her district residents. But Michelle strives very hard for a proper balance in her family, work, faith, friends and hobbies. There is no doubt family is her top concern. Even though her kids are at or nearly college-age, she says they still need her. “Our son recently asked me

Michelle is proud of her accomplishments as District 4 Commissioner, and she focuses heavily on communicating the Commission’s work to her constituency. As she wrote in one of her newsletters, “It was an honor to raise my hand 255 times in support of major projects and initiatives that will lead to a Carroll County commissioners from left: George Chambers, District 6, Lee Powers, District 5, Michelle Morbetter, brighter gan, District 4, Marty Smith, Chairman, Tommy Lee, District 3 and Vicki Anderson, District 2.

Michelle listens to a constituent during the Commission meeting.

to volunteer at his Sigma Chi fraternity event," she shares. "I drove to Athens, helped and then drove back in the same day!” Striving for innovation and a fresh approach to her part-time work with Morgan Oil, Michelle has a strong initiative to help their employees and their families receive a higher education. Morgan Oil has created a scholarship specifically for their employees at the University of West Georgia. “In addition to Jimmy and me, his mother also attended UWG, so we have a steep tradition there. We have actually put over 14 Morgan Oil employees through the University.” As a lifelong Catholic, Michelle says her faith has matured as she has matured. “When I was younger, I would pray to St. Anthony – the Patron Saint of Lost Souls – who was also my grandmother’s favorite saint. But I would pray for silly things like help me find my lost car keys!" she laughs. "I now realize God is so important to me and to what I do in the community.” Maybe it is no coincidence that Michelle and her family attend a church with the name “Our Lady of Perpetual Help,” as she is perpetually helping others.

Michelle also continues to make friendship a top priority I her life. “I’m rich in friends,” she relates. Her very best friend is Jeanne Swindle who has two boys in similar age to the Morgan boys. Michelle says Jeanne helped raise her sons, and she always has the right answer. She also catches up with other gals for morning runs on the GreenBelt. They sometimes meet as early as 5:15 a.m. to get in their exercise and conversation time on a busy day. Lunches and girls’ night out are also important, as well as traveling together with old friends. Michelle has friends of 25 years with whom she has had the opportunity to travel to various parts of the world such as Singapore, Italy, Croatia and Poland. Her tennis team friends are some of her longest and most loyal pals – in their 25 years as friends, she says these women have provided a backbone of support during her marriage, having babies, the kids' teen years and running for office.

An Example For Women Michelle is excited to announce she plans to run for re-election to her position as District 4 County

Making a Difference in Carroll County

•

• • •

• •

Projects funded through SPLOST (Special Purpose Local Option Sales Tax) and deemed “quality of life” projects such as expanded parking at the Carroll County recreation facility; additional progress on the GreenBelt; equestrian Camping at Little Tallapoosa Park; construction of a new bridge which completed the disc golf course at Hobbs Farm and funding for Mount Zion’s gym restoration. Advocated for funds for upcoming renovation of Neva Lomason Library for increased access to books, computers and learning tools and additional work and study spaces Official opening of Moore’s Bridge Park including a boat ramp to access Chattahoochee Blue Water Trail and eight miles of the river banks from Carroll County to McIntosh Reserve. New splash pad at Little Tallapoosa Park Remodeled and expanded Carroll County Healthcare Department Construction of the Emergency 911 Communications and Operations Center and added another ambulance to increase service and decrease response times Funds for first responders/law enforcement for purchase of two new brush trucks and two hydraulic rescue tools (“Jaws of Life”) Construction of new Tyus Fire Station

• • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Support for nine fully equipped vehicles for the Sheriff’s Patrol Division, passenger vans for crews An additional security fence around the county prison New software for prison operations. Upgraded human resources and payroll program that improves efficiency Amendments to the Code of Ordinances Approved agreement with USAgain, LLC for recycling Voted to roll back millage rate Funding for Advantage 2020 to foster job growth and business expansion with workforce and leadership development programs Backed an affordable rural transportation program to provide transport for citizens to work, doctor appointments and grocery stores District appointments to CC Water Authority (first woman appointed), Community Development Board of Appeals and Planning and Zoning. Supported refurbishment of Ag Center Supported the re-purposing of the Oak Mountain Gym to become a pavilion Backed the remodel and expansion of the Family & Children’s Services to better meet the needs of the employees and families of Carroll County Voted to build a new state-of-the-art gymnastics center

Commissioner. She says there is much work to be done, and she wants to be the one to do it. She always welcomes calls and emails from her constituents with questions, concerns or simply to say hello. She also hopes to encourage other women to run for public office. “I feel if women are not out advocating for what we want, our voices are not heard,” she shares. “First and foremost, if women want things to change, they must vote. But we also have to get out there and run for public office. That is where we can really make a difference.” WGW

If you would like to reach out to Michelle Morgan, you may contact her at . home at 770.832.0889, her cell at 770.403.2398 or email her at mmorgan@morganoil.com

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Codepe

ndency?

By Cheryl Francis 25

hen we see or hear of the word codependency, we immediately think of involvement with one who has an alcohol use disorder or another type of addiction. Though addiction plays a part in codependent relationships, being codependent does not necessarily stop with relationships with addictions. Codependency involves other types of relationships, including intimate relationships. It is a way of relating based on childhood experiences or wounds. These experiences create patterns, sometimes unconscious, which impact the way we live and interact with others. The behaviors of someone who is codependent resembles behaviors all of us exhibit at one time or the other. However, codependent behaviors are usually pervasive and negatively impact the lives of everyone involved.

several things on my agenda right now, but I will do this task for you even if it means what I need to get done goes unfinished. In doing so, you will view my actions as going above and beyond, you will see me as a good person and a friend and one who does what it takes to make things happen." Usually the giver ends up feeling guilty and miserable after completing the deed. The purpose of the behavior is to always get it right, to please others and be viewed in a positive manner – perfectionism. When their actions are not acknowledged, they get hurt and angry. The goal of the codependent is to get value from feeling needed. This type of behavior is unhealthy. As I thought about codependent behaviors in an intimate relationship, and how to manage such, the lyrics of the song, “You Can’t Hurry Love,” by the Supremes came to mind. I will use the lyrics not to be critical, but to illustrate. The song begins: I need love, love to ease my mind. I need to find, What Is Codependency? find someone to call mine, but mama said you can't hurry love, no, you Codependency just have to wait, is an innate desire she said love don't to be consistently come easy, it’s a needed by game of give and others. It is an take. You can't inability to truly hurry love, no, you love and function just have to wait. from a place You gotta trust, of authenticity; give it time, no responding in matter how long it a manner that Codependent individuals get their value takes. consistently desires But how many someone else’s from saving, fixing or solving the problems heartaches must I validation of us. of others – even if doing so places them at risk. stand before I find Codependent a love to let me individuals live again? constantly seek Right now the only thing that keeps me hanging validation outside of themselves. They get their on. When I feel my strength, … yeah, it's almost value from saving, fixing or solving the problems of gone, no, I can't bear to live my life alone. I grow others – even if doing so places them at risk. It is an impatient for a love to call my own, but when I feel inability to speak our truth for fear of the response that I, I can't go on. I remember mama said … we think we may get from others. Individuals who are codependent in intimate Displaying a lack of boundaries is a trait of relationships scarcely focus on the "give and take." someone who is codependent. This lack of The focus is to consistently give and give so they boundaries can sometimes be an attempt to control can be favored, loved, needed and adored – the other person in the relationship. Codependents generally at their expense. thrive in relationships where an individual wants to The first line, I need love, love to ease my mind, I be the be-all-end-all of the relationship. need to find someone to call mine, echoes a sense They take on an unhealthy caretaking role while of abandonment, neglect and rejection – a type of denying their personal needs. Individuals who trauma that someone who is codependent may have exhibit codependent traits find it impossible to say experienced. no. For example, an individual may say, "I have

(To tell me I'm O.K.)

The lyrics continue with, how many heartaches must I stand before I find a love to let me live again? This is the need of the codependent personality – wanting to be loved and authentically live, and doing whatever needs to be done to heal the pain they are experiencing consciously or subconsciously. Unfortunately, the way in which love is sought ends in futility. Individuals who struggle with codependent behaviors are unsuccessful in healthy love relationships. They seek love in inappropriate ways. They are in a hurry to fill the void of the lack of love they sense. There is an insatiable need for that object, person or thing to relieve past hurt. As a result, they feel incomplete, unaccepted and unloved. When emotions are unhealthy, we present as such and treat others poorly to compensate for our false expectations. To transition from the cycle of codependency, it is important that there is a willingness to retrain the brain. Every act must be intentional. There must be a willingness to identify what is not working. The brain of someone who struggles with codependent behaviors has been programmed to function based on past hurt. For example, If I am nice to you, you are less likely to hurt me, and in doing so I am helping, maybe rescuing you. If I take care of you and go above and beyond – even at my expense – you are less likely to respond in a negative way toward me. The programming created by past hurt tells the brain to do what is necessary to function and survive. If it means refusing to speak the truth about current feelings – or to do things for others so we can be accepted – we will do it to survive. If it means ignoring true feelings and needs, then complaining afterwards, we will do so. These behaviors are a means of survival. It takes sitting with oneself and becoming totally aware of your actions, and asking yourself, “What is the reason I behave the way I do? What is the purpose? Who am I doing it for, and why?" Once awareness surfaces, there are two choices. Accept what presents itself, good or bad, and question whether these behaviors are helpful. Or choose to let go of those unhelpful behaviors and begin the process of changing. As you begin to accept what surfaces, be willing to state your truth and be ready for the

consequences. Be okay to feel the fear of rejection. Be okay with feeling the shame of past and present behaviors. Remember, past experiences are no longer happening. The past is in the past, and there is nothing you can do about those experiences. If you struggle with dealing with these issues on your own, seek professional support. Recognize some will reject you, some will leave you, but you are good enough. You matter. You are okay on your own. You do not need someone else to complete you. Become complete by valuing your feelings, your opinions and your needs. You have done well giving to others and caring for others. Begin to practice self-care and do those same things for you. Self-care is not selfish. Choose to become disconnected from the opinion of others. Do the things that allow you to feel fully happy with yourself. Doing so prepares you for a healthy and truly loving relationship with others. When you are detached from the opinions of others, you become free. Decide you will enjoy this journey of changing – even when it becomes uncomfortable. As you get into this space, you are becoming truly free. Forgive yourself, because, yes, you matter. WGW Cheryl A. Francis, Licensed Professional Counselor, is the owner of The Heart Matters Wellness Services LLC, a full-service counseling agency. She is certified as a Mental Health First Aid Adult trainer and regularly provides seminars and trainings to the community on various mental health issues. She has partnered with the Georgia Center for Child Advocacy to train individuals in the prevention of childhood sexual abuse. Visit heartmatterswellness.com for more information about Cheryl and her work.

Making History: Early AfricanAmerican

Women in

he late 19th century was a time of profound change in the legal and political status of African-Americans. Blacks were freed from slavery and received greater rights as citizens, but full recognition of their rights was to come much later. By 1900, 90 percent of African-Americans still lived in the Southern United States – about the same amount who lived in the South in 1870. These trailblazing African-American women were influential in improving their communities, improving education for black children and achieving more rights for people of color – bravely stepping into unchartered territory to achieve what no other black women had accomplished before.

(AME) Church in Oglethorpe, and it was there she decided to devote her life to her faith and the church. But, in 1877, her husband was ordained as a minister in the Methodist Episcopal Church, and the family moved to Houma, La. Because it was not common to take a professional position due to her husband’s standing, Octavia did not pursue teaching in Louisiana, and instead became a full-time housewife and mother. She didn't teach, but was still revered as a religious and community leader in Houma. Members of the community would gather in her home to share their personal stories of slavery. She was a skilled writer and interviewer, and she managed to recreate on paper the compelling memoirs of the former slaves. The book was based on a collection of interviews with over a dozen people, but the primary dialogue was with a woman named Charlotte Brooks, who was torn from her mother and siblings in Virginia and was sold as a slave in Louisiana. Octavia Victoria Rogers Albert is thought to have died around 1889 in Houma. "House of Bondage" was published by her husband and daughter in 1890, and it was one of the first books to record the memoirs and recollections of former Louisiana slaves.

Octavia Victoria Rogers Albert

Octavia Victoria Rogers Albert was born into slavery on Dec. 24, 1853, in Oglethorpe, Ga. This 19th century religious leader and author of the book "The House of Bondage," wrote about her experience and the experiences of over a dozen Louisiana ex-slaves. In 1870, she enrolled in the Atlanta University and began teaching in Montezuma, Ga., three years later. She met her future husband, A.E.P. Albert, another teacher, in 1873 and they were married in 1874. Laura T. Albert was their only child. Octavia attended the African Methodist Episcopal

Janie Porter Barrett

Janie Porter Barrett was born in Athens, Ga. on Aug. 9, 1865. Her mother, Julia, was a former slave who worked as a seamstress and live-in housekeeper for the Skinner family. The Skinners loved Janie – nicknamed "Nee," – and gave her the same education as their

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own children. Janie's mother married a railway worker and lived with him while working for the Skinners, but Janie continued to live in the Skinner home after her mother married. Mrs. Skinner asked Julia to allow her to become Janie's legal guardian so she could send her to a Northern school. With Janie's light-colored skin, she would have been able to live as a Caucasian at the school. Julia declined Mrs. Skinner's offer and sent Janie to the Hampton Institute in Hampton, Va., where she could live in a black environment as a black person. Before attending the Hampton Institute, Janie had never lived with other African-Americans, and had never done manual labor. The institute focused on vocational skills where the women were trained in housekeeping and morality to prepare themselves for careers as housewives or domestics. While at Hampton, Janie was profoundly impacted by a novel she read about an advantaged and cultured woman – similar to Janie – who dedicated her life to social service. She began to volunteer for various community projects at the school while studying to become an elementary school teacher. She graduated from Hampton in 1885. Her first position was as a teacher at a small school in rural Dawson, Ga., then she began to teach at Lucy Craft Laney’s Haines Normal and Industrial Institute in Augusta, Ga., before teaching night classes for four years at the Hampton Institute. It was there she met Harris Barrett, the institute's bookkeeper and cashier, who she married in 1889. They had four children together, and Janie devoted the rest of her life to social work and helping young women and girls. In 1890, Janie began the Locust Street Social Settlement to improve the social life of their community, and to help women and girls become good homemakers. She initially started the settlement by asking a few girls to come into her home for instruction once a week, until her husband had a clubhouse built in 1902. After the clubhouse was built, the settlement increased exponentially, and included clubs for women, lectures, clubs for boys and general social work. A playground and library was erected, and athletic games were encouraged. The Locust Street Settlement was the first of its kind in the state of Virginia and the first settlement house for African-Americans in the U.S. In addition to the extracurricular activities, much

instruction was given to improve the community. Janie reported: "We are teaching through the efforts of the settlement house, how to have more attractive homes, cleaner back yards, more attractive front yards, cleaner sidewalks, how to have better gardens, how to raise poultry successfully, the proper food for the family, care and feeding of infants and small children. Through the efforts of the house, much has been done to improve the social life of the community."

The Honors Cottage of the Virginia Industrial School for Colored Girls, now known as the Barrett Learning Center.

In 1915, Janie was instrumental in creating a rehabilitation center for young black girls who

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were in trouble with the law, the Virginia Industrial School for Colored Girls. At this "home school," as it was called, Janie established a standard of care for dependent black children who had been poorly treated, and focused on a growth promoting atmosphere using rewards instead of punishment in the school's programs. The youth would eventually be paroled out in the care of local homes in the community while working for normal wages. She served as superintendent of the school from 1915 through 1940 when she retired. In 1929, she was the recipient of the William E. Harmon Award for Distinguished Achievement among Negroes, in 1930 she participated in the White House Conference on Child Health and Protection, chaired the executive board of the National Association of Colored Women for four years, and for 25 years she served as president of the Virginia State Federation of Colored Women’s Clubs. Janie died in Hampton on Aug. 27, 1948.

Mathilda Taylor Beasley It is commonly believed that Mathilda Taylor Beasley was born on Nov. 14, 1832, but some sources suggest her year of birth may have been 1834. She was born in New Orleans, La., to a woman named Caroline – a slave owned by James C. Taylor.

Because of Mathilda's height, some historians believe her father may have been Native-American. Little is known about her early years, but it is speculated that she was orphaned at an early age. No one knows how she obtained her freedom or how she came to live in Savannah, Ga. in the 1850s, but in the 1860 Savannah census, there were 705 free people of color, and Mathilda was one of them. Free people of color had certain privileges and rights that slaves did not have, but they were required to wear a badge demonstrating that they were free. Those who were free could choose an occupation to earn a living, and the free women usually did the same work as poor white women – working as cooks, washerwomen, seamstresses or domestics. The 1860 census lists Mathilda as a 21-year-old seamstress, according to the Georgia Historical Society. But this couldn't possibly be correct if her birthdate was in 1832 or 1834, because she would have been either 26 or 28 years old in 1860. She is also known for running a secret school in her home for slave and free children from approximately 1850 to 1860. If her age was correct in the 1860 census, then she would have started the secret school at age 11, which is doubtful. In 1817, Savannah passed a law forbidding black or white teachers to educate black children. In 1829, the state of Georgia passed a law similar to the one in Savannah. Historical records show there were about six or seven illegal schools for black children operating in Savannah in 1860. If anyone was caught educating black children, the penalties were extremely harsh: A $500 penalty for whites, and for blacks, freedmen or slaves, the punishment was up to 32 lashes with a whip in the public square and a $100 fine. Although there are no school records left to describe the details of Mathilda's school, it is clear that she took great risks to her personal safety to help educate black children in the 19th century. In addition to teaching and seamstress work, Mathilda also worked in a restaurant by the name of The Railroad House, and later married the owner of that restaurant, Abraham Beasley. He was a wealthy free man who owned the restaurant, a produce market, land, a boarding house and a saloon. Ironically, some of his wealth was obtained through the slave trade. An 1869 entry in the St. John the Baptist Cathedral ledger lists Mathilda as being baptized in the Catholic church. She most likely was baptized in preparation for her marriage to Abraham. They never

had children of their own, but Abraham had a son from his first marriage, also named Abraham. They remained married until Abraham died on Sept. 3, 1877. He is buried in the Catholic Cemetery on Wheaton Street in Savannah. Mathilda's husband, Abraham Beasley, was a Abraham wealthy free man who obtained some of his wealth through the slave trade. Photo courtesy left all of his of the Georgia Historical Society. property, money and businesses to Mathilda, who donated the entire inheritance to the Roman Catholic Church, with the request that part of the money be used for a home for African-American orphans. Some speculate she gave everything to the church to make amends for Abraham's financial gains he made by being involved in the slave trade, but there is no proof to corroborate this theory. After donating her inheritance, she made the decision to give her life to the Church and become a nun. She moved to York, England in 1885 and entered a Franciscan novitiate (the period of being a novice, or person new to the religious order). When she returned to Savannah as Georgia's first AfricanAmerican nun, she established the orphanage for African-American children who began to arrive at the orphanage in the spring of 1887. The orphanage was named the St. Francis Home for Colored Orphans. Mathilda also formed the first community of African-American nuns in Georgia in 1889 – their group was associated with the Third Order of St. Francis. The group of nuns operated the orphanage for several years, and Mathilda came to be known as "Mother Mathilda" – a title that is usually given to the most senior nun in an order. As Mother Mathilda grew older, she turned over operations of the orphanage to three Franciscan sisters in 1889 and moved into a cottage the

Church had given her. She continued to work at the orphanage and took in sewing. The money she earned from sewing was then given to people in need. On Dec. 20, 1903, Mother Mathilda died in her private chapel during her daily devotions. Next to her body was her will, her instructions for her funeral and her burial clothes. People of all faiths and colors attended her funeral mass – Catholics and Protestants, African-Americans and Caucasians, and the local newspaper reported there were no available seats left in the church. Her instructions were there should be no eulogy during the service, but the press memorialized her nonetheless, calling her "The idol of the poor, especially among the Negroes." She was laid to rest in Savannah’s Catholic Cemetery on Wheaton Street. Mother Mathilda was named a Georgia Woman of Achievement in 2004 by Georgia Women of Achievement, the Georgia Historical Society named her its Georgia Heritage Celebration Honoree in 2005, Sacred Heart Church established the Mother Mathilda Beasley Society in her honor, and the City of Savannah dedicated a park in her memory in 1982.

Ruby Georgia Parks Blackburn Ruby Georgia Parks Blackburn was born in Rockdale County, Ga., in July 1901. She received her

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Dedicated Healthcare When You Need It Most • 770.832.9689 education at Washington High Evening School in Atlanta, Morris Brown College and the Apex Beauty College. Ruby owned a beauty parlor in Northwest Atlanta on Simpson Road, but she did far more in her life than cut and style hair. While she lived in Fulton County, she was a community organizer and activist who worked for improved conditions for AfricanAmericans. In 1932, Ruby and seven other women organized the T.I.C. (To Improve Conditions) Club in their community. While Ruby was president, the T.I.C. completed beautification projects in Atlanta, awarded scholarships to deserving students and worked toward creating a nursery for the children of working mothers. Ruby also organized the Atlanta Cultural League and Training Center in1945, whose mission was "to improve the culture of Negroes through working with working people primarily and those people primarily employed in labor and domestic pursuits: Specifically to increase their worth as people and to their employees." The dues for membership were $2.50 per year, according to the Atlanta Regional Council for Higher Education. In 1951, Ruby

In 1951, Ruby Parks Blackburn established the Georgia League of Negro Women Voters. In this photo, she is demonstrating how to use the voting machine. Photo credit: Rev. Herman "Skip" Mason.

established the Georgia League of Negro Women Voters. The issues addressed by the League of Negro Women Voters included daily issues such as safety, roads and community involvement of the citizens in the city of Atlanta and in their local communities. Ruby passed away in 1982.

Selena Sloan Butler Selena Sloan Butler was born in Thomasville, Ga., around 1872 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; a few years after slavery was abolished. Her mother was a woman of NativeAmerican and African heritage, and her father was a white man who supported her mother and their children but did not live with them. When Selena was still a child, her mother passed away. She received her elementary school training in Thomas County from missionaries, and under a minister's sponsorship, she attended the Atlanta Baptist Female Seminary (now Spelman College). By the time she was 16 years old, she had graduated and began to teach elocution (articulate, clear and expressive speech) and English in Atlanta and Florida. While Selena was teaching in Atlanta, she met a man named Henry Rutherford Butler. After they married, she went with him to Boston where he attended Harvard. In 1895, they moved back to Atlanta where Henry became one of the most distinguished black physicians in the city. When their son Henry Jr. was ready for school, Selena couldn't find a preschool for him in any black neighborhood in the city, so she started a kindergarten in her own home. After Henry began attending the Yonge Street Elementary School, Selena looked for ways to help other parents get involved in the education of their children. Gaining support from other parents of

children at the school, she organized the first African-American ParentTeacher Association in the United States. Selena was an activist for educational issues throughout her life. She utilized her prior teaching experience to work toward establishing a statewide Black ParentTeacher Association. Selena Sloan Butler organized With the help of the first Black Parent-Teacher Selena, the National Association in the United Congress of Colored States. Parents and Teachers was established a few years later. The NCCPT kept close ties with the white Parent-Teacher Association and based its policies in cooperation with that group. The two national organizations eventually merged, but not while Selena was still alive. Selena was later named one of the national founders of the national Parent-Teacher Association. She was the first president of the Georgia Federation of Colored Women's Clubs, a member of the Order of the Eastern Star, a delegate to the founding convention of the National Association of Colored Women, a member of the Chataugua Circle of Atlanta and a member of the the Georgia Commission on Interracial Cooperation. After Henry passed away, Selena moved closer to her son, who was also a physician and was stationed at an Army hospital base in Arizona. While she was living in Arizona, she was responsible for organizing the first black women's chapter of the Gray Ladies Corps (American Red Cross volunteers who worked in American hospitals). Selena passed away in 1964 at the age of 92 and is buried with Henry at Oakland Cemetery in Atlanta. Her portrait hangs in the Georgia State Capitol, and she has been honored by Spelman College, President Hoover and the American Red Cross. Selena is a 1995 inductee A picture of Selena Sloan of Georgia Women of Butler from an 1899 Achievement. WGW publication.

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That Kind of Friend I want to be someone you're glad to find On the other end when your phone rings. Someone who brings happy thoughts to mind, A frequent image when your spirit sings, But more than that, someone you can trust To be authentic, always have your back, To even kick your backside if I must For your own good, to get you back on track. And when you're in a mess and need an ear, Be someone you can pour your heart out to And know for certain everything I hear Will be kept secret every time you do. That's the kind of friend I want to be For you have been that kind of friend to me.

G.S.Royal ÂŠ2013

Daily Fare With

e s o R f e Ch

Rose Isaacs is a native of Carroll County and lives in Carrollton with her husband Shawn. She graduated from West Georgia Technical College in 2013 with a degree in Culinary Arts. After graduation, she began her career as a chef at the Carrollton Kroger Marketplace where she works in the bistro.

Photos by Keith May

This creamy chicken and mushroom pasta is perfect for a quiet night in on Valentine's Day.

Creamy Chicken and Mushroom " With simple ingredients and a fast Pasta for Two cook time, this dish is sure to impress that special someone in your life.

Ingredients 2 small chicken breasts 2 teaspoons olive oil 1/2 cup dry white wine 4 oz. cream cheese, softened 6 oz. dried fettuccini 4 tablespoons unsalted butter 10 sprigs of fresh thyme 10 oz. sliced mushrooms Freshly ground black pepper Salt

Preparation Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil and cook spaghetti noodles according to package directions.

In a large nonstick skillet, melt the butter and thyme over medium heat. Add the sliced mushrooms and stir to coat in butter. Allow to cook for a few minutes undisturbed so a nice crust forms. Stir and repeat until the mushrooms are golden brown â&#x20AC;&#x201C; about 15 minutes. Using a slotted spoon, remove the mushrooms from the pan, leaving the butter and thyme. Add the olive oil to the pan. Salt and pepper both sides of the chicken. Turn the heat to medium high and sear both sides of the chicken breast, and as with the mushrooms, let the chicken cook undisturbed so a nice crust forms. If the chicken is sticking to the pan, it isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t done searing and it will release when it is golden brown. Remove the chicken from the pan and cover to keep warm. Turn down the heat to low and add all of the wine. Allow the wine to cook down slightly while scraping the bottom of the pan with a wooden spoon.

â&#x20AC;? These bacon wrapped dates

are nicely balanced appetizers for a weekend get-together.â&#x20AC;?

Dice the cream cheese and place in a large bowl. Discard the thyme sprigs from the pan and pour the hot wine over the cream cheese and stir until it melts. When the pasta is done, drain it and immediately pour it over the wine-cream cheese mixture. Toss the noodles into the sauce. Stir the mushrooms into the pasta bowl. Slice the chicken and serve on top. Garnish with fresh thyme leaves.

Goat Cheese and Bacon Wrapped Dates Ingredients 8 slices bacon, thinly sliced 16 dates

4 oz. goat cheese Toothpicks

Preparation Preheat the oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit for chewier bacon and 375 degrees for crispier bacon. Slice the dates lengthwise on one side to create an opening. Remove the pit. Using a spoon, stuff a small amount of goat cheese into the cavity of each date and press the sides together to close. Cut the bacon slices in half. Wrap each date with a slice of bacon 1 1/2 times and secure with a toothpick. Arrange evenly on a baking sheet with the toothpick laying on one side and bake for 10 minutes. Remove the dates from the oven and flip so the toothpick is on the opposite side. Bake for another 5 to 8 minutes until the bacon is browned on all sides. Remove from the oven and place on a paper towel lined plate. Allow to stand for 5 minutes before serving. WGW

â&#x20AC;?With the perfect amount of sweetness and salty smokiness, this is an appetizer that everyone will enjoy.â&#x20AC;?

From Her Point of View: Chronicles of a Teenage Girl

Dying to be

N I TH

By Carissa Clanton

woman’s worth is consistently confined to a random roll of the genetic dice. We have been convinced that our value hinges on the purity of our skin, the shine of our hair and, more than anything else, the shape of our figure. Companies market strength and power to men. They capture us with youthfulness: thin, glowing women of indeterminable age and a sweet demeanor. Realistic body shapes are slapped with a plus size. Thigh gaps are more desirable than an impressive intellect. Is it any surprise that we become fixated on our physical flaws? Eating disorders are defined by the National Institute of Mental Health as illnesses that cause severe disturbances to a person’s eating habits, but that is a gross oversimplification of a complicated issue. There are three common eating disorders: anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa and binge-eating disorder. Each is characterized by different signs and symptoms, but they usually can be broken down by their specific impact on diet.

Anorexia Nervosa More commonly known as anorexia, this is the severe restriction of food that involves an

extremely distorted body image. People with anorexia are consumed by the belief that they’re fat and undesirable, even when they’re dangerously underweight and suffering physically from their refusal to eat. We’ve been so brainwashed into believing thin is ultimately beautiful that people suffering from anorexia are often complimented for their reduced weight. Complimented, that is, until less desirable symptoms present themselves, such as hair loss, brittle nails – so fragile they can be plucked right off the finger – dry, yellowish skin and eventually, anemia (the deficiency of red blood cells and hemoglobin, the protein responsible for transporting oxygen to organs), osteoporosis (a condition in which bones lose density), brain damage and death from starvation.

Bulimia Bulimia is distinguished by periods of uncontrollable food intake, after which the individual feels so guilty and self-loathing that she proceeds to expel the contents of her stomach by any means. Vomiting, excessive use of laxatives or diuretics, fasting and excessive exercise are used to “purge”

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People with anorexia are consumed by the belief that they’re fat and undesirable, even when they’re dangerously underweight and suffering physically from their refusal to eat. the bulimic body. Unlike anorexia, people with bulimia rarely lose an unnatural amount of weight, which makes it more difficult to catch. As their vomiting (the most common form of expulsion) continues, the enamel on their teeth wears down and their mouths begin to rot. They often develop gastrointestinal disorders at an unusually young age and electrolyte imbalances that may lead to a stroke or heart attack.

Binge Eating This is the most common eating disorder in the United States and, in contrast to anorexia or bulimia, those afflicted are usually overweight or obese. People with binge-eating disorder frequently, even regularly, overeat, but don’t follow the binge with purging or fasting. Bingers will often hide or eat in secret, as they’re embarrassed about the amount of food they consume. They will eat long past when they feel full, and their infrequent diets are met with little to no results. They find it difficult to lose weight, and even reformed binge-eaters suffer from permanently lowered metabolic rates.

Who's At Risk? Teenagers are the most at-risk age group for

eating disorders. Fifteen percent of women aged 17 to 24 have eating disorders, but 40 percent of girls 13 to 17 suffer from one or multiple eating disorders, according to the Massachusetts Eating Disorder Association. Girls are experiencing concerns with their weight as early as age 5. Toddlers, barely out of infancy, are already looking at themselves with a condemning eye. As they grow, their body dysmorphia only builds, aided by bullying, inaccurate portrayal of teenagers in the media, unhealthy relationships and the romanticization of eating disorders. Eating disorders aren’t pretty, and it can be difficult to wade through all of the misinformation we have about them. Everywhere we turn, we’re bombarded by images of beautiful, slender women wearing very little to accentuate their slim bodies. Every other commercial on television is for a weight-loss routine or supplement. We swap dieting tricks like recipes. Each pound shed is a victory, and every one gained is a horrible defeat. We’ve given up living to feel skinny. While this obsessive culture remains intact, little girls are going to look at themselves with a grimace and buy scales instead of a snack. So much negativity comes from society that girls aren’t going to internalize a positive view of their bodies. Self-love has to begin in the home, where they should feel the most comfortable and safe. Self-love has to begin with our biggest role models: our mothers.

The Example Begins At Home We learn so much from the examples of others, and body image is no different. When you tell

yourself your curves are beautiful, your daughters will feel beautiful, too. Rather than focusing on your flaws, teach your daughters the value of self-confidence. Show them that women don’t have to be perfect to be beautiful by loving your imperfections. Practice good eating habits and let your daughters – and sons – know what you do to keep your body healthy. Don’t rely on school to teach your children how to care for their growing bodies and minds. It isn’t going to. Families need to cultivate love and confidence within themselves before their children develop into self-conscious teenagers. We spend too much time in our bodies to hate ourselves. WGW Carissa Clanton is a senior at Bremen High School and the oldest of three children. Her passion for writing, which has influenced every aspect of her life, stems from her love for books and reading. After graduation, Carissa plans to attend college and pursue a degree in English. She hopes to have a career as a copy editor and ultimately publish her own novel.

Life. Starts. Here Treatment for people suffering from chronic, debilitating pain of the low back, legs, and arms. Myrlynn Delille, MD of Alliance Spine and Pain Centers offers West Georgia a comprehensive and holistic approach to individuals dealing with chronic pain. Double board certified and trained extensively in Pain Medicine and Physical Medicine & Rehabilitation, Dr. Delille relies on both rehabilitative care and non-surgical procedures for effective pain relief. Dr. Delille compassionately serves patients in the West Georgia area at Alliance’s Carrollton and Douglasville locations, both open five days a week.

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Prenatal Infection Prevention Month

Protect Yourself and Your Unborn Child Against Infection

ebruary is International Prenatal Infection Prevention Month. National organizations such as the the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development (NICHD) and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) share helpful information about common infections that mothers may pass on to their unborn children in the U.S. and abroad. Listed below are some infections that mothers can pass on to their unborn children, and tips for helping prevent the spread of these infections.

Group Beta Strep Approximately one in four women in the United States carries the bacteria that may cause infection

in infants. This bacteria is transmitted to the newborn baby during childbirth. Babies who have group B strep infection can be afflicted with serious illness and possibly even death. To prevent the bacteria from being transferred to the baby, an antibiotic is administered during labor.

Group B Strep Prevention â&#x20AC;˘ Ask your doctor for a group B strep test between 35 to 37 weeks of pregnancy. â&#x20AC;˘ If you are a carrier of the bacteria, you should be offered antibiotics in labor. If you're allergic to any type of antibiotics, it's important to tell your doctor about any allergies before you go into labor.

The Zika virus infection can cause certain birth defects such as microcephaly. Microcephaly is a condition where the baby's head is much smaller than expected, and usually the baby has abnormal brain development. This infection is spread during pregnancy through sexual intercourse with an affected person or through the bite of an infected mosquito.

Zika Virus Prevention • While pregnant, do not travel to areas where Zika is in transmission. • If you must travel to an area with Zika, speak with your physician about what steps you can take to prevent mosquito bites. • Wear long pants and long-sleeved shirts • Stay in places that have screens to keep mosquitoes out or places with air conditioning • If you are sleeping outdoors, sleep under a mosquito net • Talk with your doctor about using insect repellent

• If your partner has traveled to an area with Zika, you must either abstain from intercourse during your pregnancy or use condoms each time you have sex • Check the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) website for up-to-date recommendations on areas that may have active transmission of Zika before planning your trip

Listeriosis Pregnant women are ten times more likely

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west georgia’s Pat Dickson photographed at Our lady of perpetual Help by Keith May.

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Zika Virus

Advancing Heart Care At Tanner, we take matters of the heart seriously. That’s why we empower our team of board-certified cardiology and vascular medicine specialists throughout west Georgia and east Alabama to provide the advanced clinical care you need. Our fully accredited 24-hour chest pain centers, multiple clinic locations, advanced interventional cardiology program and state-of-the-art diagnostic imaging capabilities ensure that the care you need is always available — close to home. At Tanner, we’re here for you and your heart — offering exceptional heart care services with medicine beyond measure.

To find a heart specialist, call 770.214.CARE or learn more at TannerHeartCare.org 52

MEDICINE BEYOND MEASURESM

Make sure other members of your household practice good hygiene.

than the general population to get an infection called Listeriosis, and Hispanic women who are pregnant are 24 times more likely to get the infection than the general population. This infection is caused by eating food that is contaminated with the Listeria bacteria. Symptoms of Listeriosis can include fever, muscle aches and sometimes diarrhea or nausea. If the infection travels to the nervous system, symptoms are usually confusion, a stiff neck, headaches, convulsions or loss of balance. Pregnant women who are infected with Listeriosis may only have mild flu-like symptoms. This infection during pregnancy can cause stillbirth, premature labor, miscarriages and serious illness or even death in newborn babies.

Listeriosis Prevention • Only buy soft cheeses with the word "pasteurized" on the label • Avoid all soft cheeses made with

Avoid all soft cheeses made with unpasteurized milk.

unpasteurized milk • Cheeses that are made with pasteurized milk but have been prepared under unclean conditions can also cause Listeriosis • As a general rule, it's a good idea to avoid soft cheeses that sit at room temperature • Queso fresco, queso blanco, queso blando, queso cotija, queso panela, queso ranchero, and cuajada en terrón are all cheeses that can carry Listeria • Do not drink unpasteurized milk • Wash all vegetables thoroughly • Don't eat deli or lunch meats unless they have been heated to an internal temperature of 165 degrees Fahrenheit • Always wash your hands thoroughly after using the restroom or before preparing food, and make sure other members of your household practice good hygiene You won't be able to avoid all sources of infection while you're pregnant, but you can take certain steps to reduce the risk of developing serious problems for you and your baby and make it less likely that you'll get sick. Receiving proper and early prenatal care is crucial to your health and the health of your unborn child. With proper prenatal care, simple blood tests can tell you whether you're immune to certain infections, such as rubella or chicken pox. You'll most likely be tested for infections you may not know you have, such as group B strep, HIV, urinary tract infections or hepatitis B. If you believe you have been exposed to a potentially serious infection or you become sick, getting the proper healthcare early on for the condition can usually help prevent further complications. WGW

Womentality

Inspiring quotes by extraordinary women “The right to make my dreams come true, I ask, nay, I demand of life; Nor shall fate's deadly contraband Impede my steps, nor countermand; Too long my heart against the ground Has beat the dusty years around; And now at length I rise! I wake! And stride into the morning break!” – Georgia Douglas Johnson

“Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.” – Margaret Mead

“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it.”

“The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity."

– Brene Brown

– Amelia Earhart

“When we speak, we are afraid our words will not be heard or welcomed. But when we are silent, we are still afraid. So it is better to speak.” – Audre Lorde

Local Happenings Healers and Helpers Wellness Group This group meets the last Saturday of every month in Douglasville or Austell. For more information, contact Cheryl at theheartmatters@gmail.com or 678.754.5840. Learn more at www.heartmatterswellness.com.

Hope For The Journey This group meets the third Thursday of each month at 6:30 p.m. in the board room at the Tracy Stallings Community Center at 118 South White St. in Carrollton. These events are free to breast cancer survivors or

those currently battling breast cancer. Learn more at www.hopeforthejourneywestga.org, email execdirector@hopeforthejourneywestga.org or call 770.214.1491.

Rare Pearls Mentoring and Leadership Program This group meets the fourth Saturday of each month at WellStar - Douglas Hospital from 2:30 to 4:30 p.m. This program is open to all girls from ages 10 -17. Rare Pearls mission is to enrich and empower the lives of young girls and women. For more information call 770.947.8210, email rarepearls2015@gmail.com or visit the website at www.rarepearlsmentoringandleadership.org

Nursing From The Heart Breastfeeding Support Group This group meets the third Monday of each month from 5:30 to 6:30 p.m. at 500 Old Bremen Road in Carrollton. These events are free to pregnant women and moms looking for breastfeeding support. Free weight checks will be available. Come and share your breastfeeding journey with us. Please check our website for meeting and event updates at www.nursingfromtheheart.com. For more Information call or email Anne Lussier at 470.270.9520 or IBCLC@nursingfromtheheart.com

GriefShare at Tabernacle Baptist Church Utilizing a video seminar, support group and workbook, each of the 13 weekly GriefShare meetings center around a topic important to the grief recovery process. Registration begins at 5:30 p.m., and the meetings run from 6 to 7:30 p.m. each evening. Meetings are held at 150 Tabernacle Drive, Room 256, Carrollton, Ga. Classes are free. Participation workbooks are $15.

DivorceCare at Tabernacle Baptist Church Utilizing a video seminar, support group, and workbook, each of the 13 weekly DivorceCare meetings center around a topic important to your recovery process. Registration begins at 5:30 p.m., and the meetings run from 6 to 7:30 p.m. each evening. Meetings are held at 150 Tabernacle Drive, Room 260, Carrollton, Ga. Classes are free. Participation workbooks are $15. For more information on GriefShare or DivorceCare, call or text John Pearson at 404.368.2746.

“Carrollton’s Prescription Headquarters”

821 Dixie Street Carrollton, GA 30117

770.832.7076 Drive Thru Service • Gifts • Free Delivery

Carroll EMC Scholarships Available for 2018 Carroll Electric Membership Cooperative is dedicated to improving the quality of life for people in western Georgia. As they continue to strive to actively support students, Carroll EMC proudly offers the Walter Harrison scholarship, Lerlie and Millard Copeland Scholarship, the Linemen School Scholarship and the Washington Youth Tour. All of the aforementioned opportunities are seeking applicants for 2018. Eleven $1,000 Walter Harrison scholarships are awarded statewide to undergraduate students enrolled in or accepted by a Georgia college, university or technical school. Carroll EMC selects one semifinalist from its service area to compete at the state level. Judges select winners for the scholarship each year based on financial need and academic ability. Applicants must reside in the household of a Carroll EMC Member or employee. Scholarships can be awarded to high school seniors and undergraduate students enrolled in or accepted by a Georgia college, university or technical school. Applications are due to Carroll EMC on or before February 1. The $800 Lerlie and Millard Copeland Scholarship is awarded to a child or legal ward of a Carroll EMC Member or employee who attends the University of West Georgia. Selection is based first on financial need with academic performance and promise also being major determining factors. Preference is given to an incoming freshman. The recipient must be enrolled as a full-time student at UWG. Applicants can check the UWG Scholarship Application website, westga.edu/scholarships, for

deadline. “We’re proud to participate in these scholarship opportunities and to offer unique educational experiences to students and their families,” said Tim Martin, Carroll EMC CEO. “We recognize the growing cost of education, and we’re happy to play a part in helping members of our community.”

Carroll EMC Offers 2018 Lineman School Scholarship Carroll Electric Membership Cooperative is committed to investing in the communities where Members live, work and attend school. In an effort to support students who are interested in line work, Carroll EMC proudly offers the Lineman School Scholarship. To apply for the scholarship, applicants must be a high school graduate, GED equivalent or be a graduating senior in good standing, a Carroll EMC Member, Member's child living in a home served by CEMC, employee, employee's child or grandchild, must be drug-free, have a safe driving record and willing to sign a photo release and a cell phone/text messaging permission. The applicants are required to submit an essay explaining why they want to be a lineman, two letters of recommendation and attend an interview with the scholarship selection team. The scholarships cover tuition, textbooks and other related fees for the recipients and are available up to 24 months after the award date. In addition to the scholarship, the award winners are also paired with a lineman mentor from Carroll EMC. Applicants should submit their application materials to Carroll EMC, Lineman Scholarship, 155 N. Highway 113, Carrollton, GA 30117 or email lineman.scholarship@carrollemc.com on or before March 1, 2018. Applicants can also apply through the online application option at carrollemc.com.

Carroll EMC Searching for High School Students for Leadership Opportunity Each year, Carroll Electric Membership Cooperative sends high school students to the nation’s capital for a week of friendship, fun and

learning. The Washington Youth Tour is an opportunity for students to grow in their leadership journey and experience a once-in-a-lifetime trip. The 2018 tour takes place June 7-14, when hundreds of EMCs across the country, including Carroll EMC, send more than 1,800 participants to Washington D.C. for a chance to enjoy a full week of visiting the nation’s most treasured memorials and monuments and learn about the unique aspects of the cooperative business model. According to Taylor Key with Carroll EMC, inspiring future leaders is at the core of the Washington Youth Tour. Since 1964, more than 50,000 young Americans from across the country have taken advantage of this special opportunity offered by their local electric cooperative. This year, more than 100 high school students across Georgia will be selected for this week-long trip. The tour is not just an opportunity to visit the nation’s capital, but also a chance to gain crucial leadership skills and interact with fellow delegates from varying backgrounds and geographies. If selected, students will find that their voices matter when given the opportunity to discuss important issues with elected officials during the trip. “Meeting our legislators in Washington is just one of many activities that teen delegates experience during the week,” said Key, Carroll EMC Community Relations Clerk. “This trip changes participants’ perspectives and benefits them far into the future.” The co-op has begun the process to select local students to attend the 2018 Washington Youth Tour. If students’ parents/guardians are members of Carroll EMC, meet the age/year requirement, or know of another exceptional student who would be a great candidate for the program, please contact Carroll EMC for more information. Applications will be accepted through February 16. Carroll EMC is a Member-owned cooperative providing electricity to approximately 50,000 homes and businesses. The co-op serves Members in Carroll, Haralson, Heard, Paulding, Polk and Troup counties. This institution is an equal opportunity provider and employer. For more information visit the cooperative’s website at carrollemc.com or follow Carroll EMC on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Pinterest, Instagram and LinkedIn. Carroll EMC: Community Built. Community Builder.

Carroll EMC Awards 2017 Bright Ideas Grants

arroll EMC recently awarded grants to local educators to fund creative and innovative educational projects for students in their classrooms. Grants of up to $1,000 were awarded to public school teachers, teaching grades Pre-K – 12, for projects in any subject. Bright Ideas grants are funded through the donations of Carroll EMC Members who participate in Operation Round Up®, a program where Members elect to “round-up” their electric bills to the nearest dollar. The program is overseen by Carroll EMC Foundation trustees and funds a variety of community service projects including Bright Ideas, student scholarships, and many health and human services programs. For 2017, 98 grants were awarded, totaling $76,438. These grants will help 98 teachers in 36 schools and will affect hundreds of children in our communities.

Included in this funding cycle were: Bay Springs Middle School Jennifer Brewer Bowdon Elementary School Kelly Christopher Nikki Ethridge Rana Raughton Patricia Browning Jamie Martin Bowdon Middle School Kelly Ogles Bowdon High School

Photo caption: Carroll EMC awards Sharp Creek Elementary School teacher Tara Ferguson with a Bright Ideas grant. Photo by Carroll EMC.

Heather Mitchell

Carrollton Elementary

College and Career Academy

Kristie Poor Melanie Hancock Annette Perkins

Don Riggins

Andrea Lawson Larissa Wilkinson Mimi Stephens

Glanton-Hindsman Elementary

Sandhill Elementary

Carrollton Junior High

Amanda Eskew Monica Brown Geoffrey Harden

Lara McNeiry Ashley Hassler Jennifer Earnest Rikki Chandler

Maria Menendez Charity Hanner Nelitza (Lisa) Megathlin Carrollton Middle School Tanish Springer Mary Miller Carrollton High School Shawn Lawrence David Bryson Central Elementary Shea Hall Marla Turpin Amber Owensby Meghan Wendlandt Casey Chadwick Kate Nicholson Nicole Robinson Angie Hawkesworth Hilary Backstrom Kim Helton Ashli Cook Megan Foster Eual Ed Cole Martina Lyn Cole Rebecca Smith Elizabeth Beverly

Ithica Elementary Beth Brewer Laura Harris Heather Kinard Mt Zion Elementary Cindy Parker Stephanie Holt Michaela Ethridge Joy Brown Chastity Benefield

Sharp Creek Elementary Lisa Weaver Tara Ferguson Beth Little Temple Elementary Katrina Wagner Ann Christensen, Amber Wilburn Tanya Diedrich

Mt Zion Middle School

Temple Middle School

Heather Morse Tyler Banister

Colleen Mount Teresa Steele

Providence Elementary

Villa Rica High School

Maria Scurr

Daniel Roehl Jennifer Harris Carl Jordan

Roopville Elementary Angela Heath Kimberly Thomas Nancy Wallace Central High School

Whitesburg Elementary Jessica Anderson Amy Musick Beth Childers

Jonathan Horsley Applications for 2018 will be accepted beginning July 1 and can only be submitted via the cooperativeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s website, carrollemc.com. Carroll EMC is a Member-owned cooperative providing electricity to approximately 50,000 homes and businesses. The co-op serves Members in Carroll, Haralson, Heard, Paulding, Polk and Troup counties. This institution is an equal opportunity provider and employer. For more information visit the cooperativeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s website at carrollemc.com or follow Carroll EMC on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Pinterest, Instagram and LinkedIn. Carroll EMC: Community Built. Community Builder.

Kidz Korner By Charlene Brooks

Delicious and Easy Valentine Heart Fudge

Ingredients 1 can strawberry frosting 12 ounce bag white chips Sprinkles Baking sheet Parchment paper

t's Valentine's Day, and what better gift to give the ones you love than delicious treats made from the heart. This fudge is so easy to make â&#x20AC;&#x201C; it only has three ingredients â&#x20AC;&#x201C; and it tastes wonderful. This Valentine's Day peppermint bark is almost as easy to make as the fudge, and it tastes amazing.

Instructions Melt the white chips and stir in the strawberry frosting, mixing completely. Take a sheet pan lined with parchment paper and spread the mixture about 1 inch thick. Decorate with the sprinkles, then chill. Use a Valentine-themed cookie cutter to cut the fudge into heart-shaped pieces. You can keep this fudge chilled in the refrigerator for up to one week.

Really Tasty Valentine's Day Peppermint Bark Ingredients 12 ounce bag dark chocolate chips 12 ounce bag white chips 6 to 8 round crushed peppermints

Red sprinkles

Peppermint extract

Baking sheet Parchment paper Instructions Melt the dark chocolate chips and add 1/2 teaspoon peppermint extract. Mix completely. Spread the chocolate onto a parchment paper lined baking sheet. Chill. Melt the white chips and add 1/2 teaspoon peppermint extract. Mix completely. Add the crushed peppermints and stir. Spoon mixture over the chilled chocolate and spread evenly. Sprinkle with red sprinkles and more crushed peppermint. Chill completely and break or cut into pieces. WGW

Word Bank

Love Candy Heart Valentine Romantic Carnations Sweetheart Candlelight Dinner Beloved Kiss Devotion Saint Valentine Be Mine Cherub Greeting Card Courtship Passion Flowers

Happy Valentine's Day Word Search

Word search created at puzzle-maker.com

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