West Georgia Woman Magazine October 2021 by West Georgia Woman Magazine/Angel Media, LLC

Woman

Complimentary

October 2021

West Georgia

Mary Tolleson

Preserving Tallapoosa's Past for the Future

Eat Healthier in 10 EASY Steps

Befriending the

Ghosts

that Haunt Us

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Mary J. Tolleson has a passion for preserving Tallapoosa's past. Page 10 Photo by Zachary Dailey

What’s inside... 10 22 32

From Parks to Peacocks

Befriending the Ghosts that Haunt Us Eat Healthier in 10 Easy Steps

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Handling Stress in the Workplace Not Just Stranger Danger

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persons have been designated to handle inquiries regarding the non-discrimination policies: Equity (Title IX) Coordinator, Dean of Students, 770.755.7839, 200 Campus Drive, As set forth in GA its student West 504) Georgia TechnicalisCollege does not discriminate on678.664.0533, the basis of race, creed,Square, national or ethnic GA origin, sex, religion, disability, age, Newnan, 30263. catalog, ADA (Section coordinator V.P. of Administrative Services, 401color, Adamson Carrollton, 30117. political affiliation or belief, genetic information, veteran status, or citizenship status (except in those special circumstances permitted or mandated by law). The following persons have been designated to handle inquiries regarding the non-discrimination policies: Equity (Title IX) Coordinator, Dean of Students, 770.755.7839, 200 Campus Drive, Newnan, GA 30263. ADA (Section 504) coordinator is V.P. of Administrative Services, 678.664.0533, 401 Adamson Square, Carrollton, GA 30117.

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Happy Fall, Y'all There's something so exciting about feeling that first chill in the air that signals the upcoming fall season. I'm looking forward to the cooler weather, but I'm definitely not a winter girl. I'd prefer fall or spring weather instead of the cold, any day. I'm particularly looking forward to the end of this month because my son, Zachary, and his wife, Jordan, are having their gender reveal party for my new grandbaby! They've entrusted my daughter, Sydney, to share the news with family and friends Oct. 30. We're all so excited to learn the gender of the new baby. He or she is going to be spoiled rotten! In This Issue

Photo by Zachary Dailey

Our feature this month is Mary J. Tolleson from Tallapoosa, Ga. A beloved former schoolteacher, Mary is an extremely talented artist who has made it her mission to preserve the history of Tallapoosa for future generations through her artwork and numerous preservation projects throughout the city. She is quite a remarkable woman, and it was such a pleasure getting to know more about her and her work. On page 10, learn more about Mary and her passion for preserving Tallapoosa's past. I was thrilled to learn that Dr. Fred Richards would be contributing an article for West Georgia Woman magazine this month. Fred is a wonderful friend, advocate and mentor to me, and I always learn so much from him. He has taught me, and many others, how to work toward becoming a more authentic human being. Fred will be honored Oct. 2, 2021, by the Carroll County Mental Health Advocates for his contributions to mental health, both locally and statewide. I can't think of a more deserving person to receive this award than Fred. In his article on page 22, he shares how to befriend the ghosts that haunt us. Do you make it a priority to eat healthy every day? If you're like me, you are probably lacking in the healthy eating department. I definitely need to work on this. On page 32, Sandra Bolan shares how to eat healthier in just 10 easy steps. Is your job stressful? Most people would probably say they have more stress than they can handle in the workplace. Learn how to manage some of those stressful situations on page 35. On page 42, we share some important information on protecting children from sexual abuse. It is the responsibility of the entire community to protect those most vulnerable among us. Darkness to Light offers free training for adults in our area that specializes in the education and prevention of child sexual abuse, other forms of abuse and mandated reporting. For more information on upcoming training, contact Gyla Gonzalez at 770.214.2080, email carrollfc@yahoo.com or visit the website at www.D2L.org. There's much more inside! Thank you for reading West Georgia Woman magazine! Please do business with our community advertising partners as much as you can. It is through their partnership that we are able to give you this beautiful magazine each month. See you next month,

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Finding our voice. Knowing our value. Making a difference. TM

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This publication is dedicated in loving memory of Tristan Alexander Brooks May 15, 1993 – September 17, 2015

Volume 6 • Issue 12 October 2021

Publisher/Editor

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Copy Editor Editorial Contributor

Shala Hainer shala@westgeorgiawoman.com

Photographer for cover Zachary Dailey

Editorial Contributors

Sandra Bolan, Jordan Dailey, Rose Isaacs and Amanda Thomas

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From Parks to Peacocks

By Amanda Thomas 10 Photos by Zachary Dailey

The Story Behind One Woman’s Passion to Preserve Tallapoosa’s Past

t’s a Saturday morning in Tallapoosa. The birds are chirping, the sky is clear, and the sun is shining. And, thankfully, the Georgia weather on this summer day isn't so uncomfortable that it takes people's breath away with all the heat and humidity. No, the weather feels more like a warm hug. On this day, 88-year-old Mary Tolleson of Tallapoosa is walking through her backyard, a yard filled with lush green plants. “I love to be in my yard,” she exclaims. Her backyard looks and feels like the perfect adult oasis, though it could be described as a children's playground. The garden is filled with little hiding places, perfect for the secret and fairy gardens scattered around the property. “I have things children enjoy – a Cinderella carriage up there,” she says while pointing to the beautiful carriage hidden amid the greenery surrounding it. She points again, “There is also a fairy garden made out of a storm door.” But the star of the show is probably her collection of peacock decor located both inside and outside her home. Known locally as the “Peacock Lady,” Mary has been raising peacocks for 60 years. But peacocks are far from the only interesting

thing about her. Mary is also an artist and a historian who has spent years preserving Tallapoosa’s history so future generations will never forget it.

Tallapoosa Born and Raised During the late 1800s, people around the world chose to leave their homes and immigrate to the United States because it was perceived as the land of opportunity. Mary’s grandparents were part of that group. “My father’s parents came to this country from Sweden in the 1880s, and my mother’s grandparents came to this country from Germany in the 1880s,” she recalls. “My father’s family moved from Massachusetts to Tallapoosa in 1896 after reading a favorable article in Scientific American magazine.” Born on Jan. 11, 1933, in Tallapoosa, Mary lived in a close-knit community surrounded by aunts, uncles and cousins. Growing up, she attended Tallapoosa schools, enjoyed spending time with friends and participated in various high school activities. She was a cheerleader and a member of the yearbook staff. The school named her “Girl of the Year.” She

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high school years. After graduating from Tallapoosa High School in 1950, she attended Huntingdon College in Montgomery, Ala., where she received a degree in home economics and art. In 1951, she started dating L.A. Tolleson, a fellow Tallapoosa native. “We both grew up in Tallapoosa, but he was six years older,” she says. “He went off to World War II, returned at the end of the war, then went off to college. After college and starting his business career, we started dating and had a twoyear courtship.” They married in 1953 and remained so for 50 years until L.A.’s passing in 2003.

A Teaching Career

Mary stands in front of the old Tallapoosa High School, the first free public school in Georgia. She graduated from this school in 1950.

After getting married, the Tollesons lived in Columbus, Ga., where Mary taught art for one year. “I didn’t intend to be a teacher when I went to college,” she says. “I was going to do other things in the field of home economics. But after I graduated and

got married, I just sort of drifted to art and started teaching art. And I couldn’t have done anything else in my life that I would have loved better.” Mary loved every single day of teaching, and her students loved her, too. “I just loved the children,” she explains. “I loved their enthusiasm and just felt like they were all my own children.” Mary had two children of her own – her oldest, Kathy, lives near Athens, and her youngest, Ted, lives in Nashville. While being a wife and a mother kept her busy, she didn’t let it slow her down. In the early years of marriage and motherhood, she even participated as a contestant in the Mrs. Georgia pageant in Savannah. After returning to their hometown in 1960, Mary became a Sunday school teacher at the historic Tallapoosa First Baptist Church – a church she’s attended since she was in the cradle. She also taught the Baptist Training Union (BTU) – a church membership training ministry – to teenagers at the church. “We really wanted to come back home because we love Tallapoosa,” she says. “My roots are here.” Mary loves its small-town atmosphere and that she knows almost everyone in town. Soon after, she became a teacher at Tallapoosa High School and worked alongside the teachers who taught her years earlier. She served several roles in the Tallapoosa, Bremen and Haralson County school system – teaching home economics and art, tutoring gifted students, and even serving as a food service director and a community education director. For these roles, she obtained certifications from the University of Georgia, the University of West Georgia and Georgia State University. While she has worn many hats, she has loved every day of her 30-year teaching career. “It’s such a pleasure to see my former students

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now with their own children and grandchildren, and the wonderful things they have done with their lives,” says Mary, who has four grandchildren and five great-grandchildren of her own. Despite her retirement, she continues to teach. “I’ve hosted all of the Tallapoosa area secondgrade students each May for 25 years,” she says. “They visit my fairy gardens, see the peacocks and hear stories about local history. The children enjoy finding secret things in the garden.” Mary also spends her free time participating in various other activities – one of which is beautifying Tallapoosa and preserving its history.

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Beautifying Tallapoosa

Deodar cedar, which is native to the Himalayan Mountain forests. Mary has been It is also a a member of the safe place where Tallapoosa Garden children can play, Club, which was and families can founded in 1936, picnic under the for 61 years. She pavilion built became a member by a local Eagle in 1960. Scout for his scout “Our garden project. club project has “My greatalways been the Mary's art park is at the entrance of Tallapoosa along Highway 78 across the street grandchildren beautification of from The Standpipe. The artwork includes a Flintstone mobile made from part of a especially love the the entrance of magnolia tree, folk art carvings, metal art and painting on plywood used to border parks,” she states. a section of the park. the Hollywood Developed with Cemetery,” she the help of volunteers and donors, a popular kids’ states. “It started in 1952, and we’ve just kept it up.” attraction for kids is the Tallapoosa Train Park at About 15 years ago, the club created a park at the “The Standpipe.” entrance, with benches, a gazebo and a fountain. “There’s a gazebo where children can sit and In the 70s, Mary also worked with a group in watch trains,” Tallapoosa to start the Doodle Thrower amphitheater she says. at Helton Howland Park where there have been “Also, at The several performances. The Haralson County Veterans Standpipe, Association maintains the amphitheater, named in a Tallapoosa honor of the late bluegrass musician John "Doodle" history wall is Thrower. being created.” In May 2015, she purchased property at the A 100-foot entrance of Tallapoosa along Highway 78 near her fence depicts family home. a visual history “My plan was to beautify the entrance to starting in the Tallapoosa. But it soon became much more than that 1700s with – it became an art park, with many artists donating the Indians their work and high school art students painting their who lived in murals,” she says. Tallapoosa. The artwork includes a Flintstone mobile made The fence from part of a magnolia tree, folk art carvings, metal begins with art and painting on plywood used to border a a life-sized section of the park. carving of an One of the park’s main attractions is a huge Indian created Mary stands by a carving of an Indian that by Don Smith is the beginning of the Tallapoosa and includes a history wall near The Standpipe. Non-medical in-home care provider depiction of the Inset: The 100-foot fence depicts a visual history starting in the 1700s with the IndiServices include: arrival of the ans who lived in Tallapoosa. – Complimentary RN railroad in 1882. assessment “It’s a place – Care plans created where a person can stand in one place and get an for caregivers – All caregivers are overview of Tallapoosa’s history,” Mary explains.

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Preserving Tallapoosa’s History Formed in 1994 as a result of the Georgia Department of Transportation’s plan to widen

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Highway 78 north and south through Tallapoosa, the Tallapoosa Historical Society keeps history alive. “If the state highway had widened this highway, they would have demolished 26 historic homes north of Highway 78 and 16 homes south of Highway 78. Our group was successful in stopping this project,” she explains. The group currently has about 25 members, with Mary and Tommy Allen being the only remaining founding members. “We have some younger people becoming interested, which is really good,” she says. Soon after they stopped the highway project, the historic Christian Church was set to be demolished. While the society couldn’t save the church, it used parts of the demolished church to build the Sparrow Chapel named for Dr. Walter Stillman Martin, a Tallapoosa pastor, and his wife, Civilla, who wrote the gospel hymn, “His Eye Is On the Sparrow.” The song became so popular that in 2010, gospel singer Mahalia Jackson's recording earned the Grammy Hall of Fame Award. The historical society was also instrumental in saving the historic 1845 Holcombe log cabin home – the oldest home in Haralson County just outside of Tallapoosa. They restored, refurnished and moved the home to Helton Howland Park in Tallapoosa. In 2020, the society also purchased the historical Pentecostal church, now called the Tallapoosa History Center. The church held its first services in January 1942. As part of the historical group, Mary helped write the play, From Possum Snout to Tallapoosa, which has been performed several times in the past year. Mary also placed pictures of several homes and buildings at their original sites. For example, she put a picture of the old Lithia Springs Hotel at its original site because the building is no longer there. In its heyday, the hotel was a tourist attraction, containing 175 richly furnished rooms, a ballroom, banquet hall, billiard parlor and card room. A replica of the hotel is located at the West Georgia Museum of Tallapoosa. Mary is also working to preserve her family’s history. She and her brother, David, maintain their family’s 1887 home, filled with family memorabilia, as a historic site. Together, they have published three history books about Tallapoosa. Be Continued ... A Pictorial History of Tallapoosa, Georgia, can be purchased at the West Georgia museum, Southern Charm and Gifts and Lipham’s Department Store. Mary also wrote the history of the L.A. Tolleson

and C.F. Johnson families, as Johnson was her paternal grandfather. For those who prefer watching the movie instead of reading the book, she provided research and narration for three videos about Tallapoosa’s history. They were shot by Matthew Bryson, a videographer and University of West Georgia graduate, and are available on YouTube. While much has been done over the years to preserve the city’s history, Mary wants to make it clear that it was a team effort. “None of these projects could have been accomplished without the help of many, many, many volunteers,” she says. “I couldn’t have done it by myself.”

Small-Town Artist Making a Big Impact

Just a few of Mary's art projects she's created over the years, including a commemorative Coke bottle for Tallapoosa's 125th anniversary, handpainted and screen-printed denim clothing, T-shirts and tote bags, note cards and the adult coloring books that contain her pen and ink drawings. Inset: The Tallapoosa Historical Society sold an afghan they had made using several of Mary’s beautiful historic church drawings.

Mary taught elementary art in Tallapoosa for six years, spent several years making creative bulletin boards for offices and nine years creating calendars for the First National Bank of Haralson County. She handpainted and screen-printed denim clothes, T-shirts and tote bags, as well as designed note cards, several children’s books, stained-glass windows and a book on peacocks. She does a lot of calligraphy, and her favorite art medium is pen and ink. “I’ve always liked to draw, but not until I went to college and had to take certain art classes to get my home economics degree did I realize just how much I liked it,” she says. “Once I realized I loved art, I just started drawing. In all the different mediums available, pen and ink is what I use because I really like details.”

Mary eventually evolved into doing pen and ink drawings of historic homes and buildings. When adult coloring books became popular, a friend asked why she didn’t do a coloring book. “I said, ‘No, I don’t think so,’” she recalls. That, “no,” eventually turned into a coloring book of peacocks with personalities, but she didn’t try to sell it until a friend who runs a gift shop asked her to create some coloring books to sell. Since then, she has created several themed coloring books featuring flowers, wreaths, trees and quilt squares. “I just finished a Christmas ornament coloring book,” she says. All of these books cost $15 instore and online at Southern Charm and Gifts in Tallapoosa. In 1985, Tallapoosa celebrated its 125th anniversary, and Mary provided the artwork for a commemorative Coke bottle for the event. The city used her drawings of the Lithia Springs Hotel, the first free public school in Georgia and dogwood blossoms. A limited number of these bottles are also available for purchase at Southern Charm and Gifts. The Tallapoosa Historical Society sold an afghan they had made using several of Mary’s historic church drawings. Mary has participated in five retail businesses – all having to do with Some of Mary's pen and ink drawings. She has a variety of themed coloring art and events. She is also part of an books featuring flowers, wreaths, trees and quilt squares. Her latest creation is a antique shop that sells her artwork. Christmas ornament coloring book.

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Mary and three of her friends opened an art shop in 2000 called the Peacock Art Gallery in Tallapoosa. It operated for about four years before closing because of a lack of foot traffic at the time. “We showcased about 80 local artists’ work,” she says.

a part of Mary’s family. She also has a 13-year-old Maltese dog named Tucker, and every day, you’ll find her walking around the block with her cat, Miss Meow.

What’s Next?

The Talk of the Town

Right now, the Tallapoosa Historical Society has plans to rebuild The Spring House at the Lithia When Mary and her husband moved to Tallapoosa Springs Hotel Park site. “It’s the land where The 60 years ago, a neighbor across the street had Spring House was, where people came to socialize just finished his new home. He filled his yard and and drink water from the spring,” Mary explains. pastures with many animals, including two peacocks. Many believed the water, which contained lithium As the years passed, they became the bicarbonate, had healing powers. neighborhood peacocks. Another upcoming project is saving the historic “The peacocks would walk two and a half Whites Chapel AME (African Methodist Episcopal) blocks to town, walk along the sidewalks, admire Church. Black Methodists created and organized the themselves in the shop windows. They really became AME church in 1787 after facing discrimination in the the talk of the Methodist church. town,” she laughs. After the Civil “They always came War, there was a home at night to push to establish roost in the tall pines AME churches in the in the pasture.” south. Over time, the Abandoned for peacocks and years, the church peahens raised a collapsed in June. family of peachicks. Now the society and As more time City of Tallapoosa passed, only one will save part of the peacock remained. church and erect a Then one summer park. day, a new dog When it comes came into the to preserving neighborhood and Tallapoosa’s history, pulled out all of his there is always Mary, with her peacocks. She enjoys watching them hatch their chicks and tail feathers. something that says they are a part of her family. She enjoys peacocks so much that she has needs saving, and “Immediately, several hundred peacock collectibles in her house and yard. my husband said, Mary is showing no ‘We must build a pen to keep the peacock safe,’” signs of slowing down anytime soon. she says. “And from that time, I’ve been called the “There’s always another project,” she says. ‘Peacock Lady.’” “My wish is that I have made a positive influence And for good reason – Mary has several hundred in somebody’s life and our community. I want to peacock collectibles in her house and yard. preserve the past for future generations.” WGW “At any given time, I’ll see visitors in my yard watching the peacocks,” she says. “The peacocks To learn more about Mary J. Tolleson, continue to lay eggs, set on them, hatch chicks and call 770.328.6674 or email continue their family heritage.” mjtolleson@hotmail.com. She currently has two peacocks, three peahens To purchase her coloring books, and two peachicks. visit Southern Charm and Gifts in “They’re just part of my family,” she says. Tallapoosa in-store and on Facebook “They’ve been here for 60 years. It’s fun to watch them hatch their chicks.” @SouthernCharmGiftsAndMoreGA or Fun fact: It takes 28 days for the chicks to hatch. you can call 678.427.7061. But the peacocks aren’t the only animals who are

Befriending the Ghosts that Haunt Us By Fred Richards, Ph.D.

alloween is typically a time when we are visited by ghosts of all sizes. They are often accompanied by vampires, little mermaids, pirates, and 3-foot-tall superheroes, all willing, once handed a candy treat or two, to move on. There are, however, "ghosts" that refuse to leave. They dwell in our souls. They "haunt" us, their visitations telling us we are not alone, that the past is not past, but present, and the self we currently are is a false or limited version of the human being we're capable of becoming. In the early 1960s and 40 feet up in the air on the roof of a massive block-long warehouse in Miami, Fla., other laborers and I were working through the night, removing and replacing skylights mangled and destroyed by a hurricane. Taking a break and walking far beyond the area lighted by floodlights, I stopped when hearing an unfamiliar, friendly voice calling my name. There was no one there when I stopped and turned. Turning to walk on, I looked down and froze. I was standing at the edge of the roof. Who or what was my invisible benefactor? Who or what saved me from falling to my death? What was the nature of the spectral presence that called out my name? My experience is neither rare nor unique. Countless persons report having been warned,

comforted, transformed and moved to re-examine their beliefs about self, life and reality after experiencing compelling dreams, night visitations and things that "go bump in the night." An exercise buddy tells me about his beloved grandmother appearing to him days after her funeral. Sleeping on a couch in her home, he wakes up to see his grandmother up in the air and looking down at him. "Were you frightened?" I asked? "Oh, no. I always felt loved in her presence. I was comforted. I knew then and still do that she is watching over me." My sister, the late Joan Armpriester, was a psychic reader who, between 1979-1981, consulted with the Atlanta Police Department investigating the murder of numerous children in the city. Persons from around the country called her night and day, wanting her to respond to events and experiences they suspected or believed involved benevolent or hostile forces, energies or spirits of the deceased trying to contact them. I was intrigued by the stories and surprised back then at the number of calls she received. A police chief called her, troubled by the ghostly appearance of a female figure repeatedly appearing in family photos. A depressed college student contacted her. Alone at night in his dorm room, he is comforted by a hand gently resting on his shoulder, a hand

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he believed to be the hand of Christ. A mother, awakened by a loud sound at 3 am., learned at dawn that her only son was seriously injured at the same time in a car crash in a neighboring state.

The Untold Stories That Haunt Us

and mothers that live on in us, but all sorts of old ideas and old dead beliefs ... They're not actually alive in us, but they're rooted there all the same, and we can't rid ourselves of them.4 Feelings of shame, sadness and anxiety often sweep over us for no apparent reason. They arrive like invasive forces taking control of our state of mind. These unwanted feelings and untold stories and family secrets resurface in addictive, dissociated, and dysfunctional behaviors that also have the potential to get our attention; they prompt us to discover where we've come from, who and where we are, and where we might choose to go with our lives. Hollis calls on us to reflect on what kind of life we'd be living, what kind of person we'd be, if we were "unfettered by the claims of the past"?5 To not question, to not seek to uncover the stories that hold us in their tight grip is, writes psychoanalyst, Michael Eigen, a choice to avoid expanding our awareness of our inner world. It is a choice to live a ghostly life.6

One of my favorite writers is Jungian psychoanalyst James Hollis, author of Hauntings: Dispelling the Ghosts Who Run Our Lives, a book he felt called by a dream to write. Hauntings, he explains, "is not a book about ghosts in the usual sense of that term," but about the past that lives on in the present, the persisting symptoms and behavior that prevent us from being real persons and fully alive.1 Hollis advises us to not dismiss or ignore what "haunts" us but, instead, to listen to the messages arriving from within and calling upon us to wake up and to truly live. We are possessed by all kinds of "spirits," and "ghosts": childhood fears that continue to control our lives, unhealed pain from past failed relationships and betrayals, and so on. The ghosts Healthy Privacy and Toxic Secrets we fail to befriend – unfelt feelings, repressed emotional injuries, and wounds to the developing All families have secrets. Some members keep personal secrets to maintain a sense of privacy, of self – live on in our lives in the form of addiction to drugs and alcohol and self-defeating behavior. being separate while connected to others. Privacy The suppressed stories of past neglect, abuse helps us establish healthy boundaries, protecting us and abandonment disturb our dreams, show up as "from unwanted access by others."7 debilitating anxiety and depression and continue to Family secrets, on the other hand, are toxic when rooted in shame. A family's intentional concealment inhabit our bodies and the bodies of our children.2 It's important we ask ourselves why we keep of significant and impactful parts of our life story repeating choices and actions that always keep understandably harms us and prevents us from wounding us. Why do we keep pretending we knowing who we really are. are someone different than who we experience Toxic secrecy compels family members to ourselves to be? even conceal their suffering. Failing to retrieve and befriend Concealment leads to isolation, the hidden stories still weaving more emotional suffering, lack their way in and through our of dialogue and an inability to life, the past continues to repeat share and solve problems. Sadly, itself. tragically, persons suffering from Our negative self concepts and alcoholism, eating disorders, felt deficits express themselves mental illness, drug addictions, in self-sabotaging behavior and sexual abuse and suicidal thoughts over-compensating efforts to fail to reach out to get desperately convince ourselves and others needed support and help.8 how spectacular we are. To Such family systems consciously avoid facing, for example, early or unconsciously "invite" members traumas, we repeat again and to not feel, to be invisible and in again the very suffering we would The suppressed stories of past neglect, abuse some cases, even die. Therapists and abandonment disturb our dreams, show are often the first persons and rather avoid.3 up as debilitating anxiety and depression Hollis believes that: sometimes the only persons with and continue to inhabit our bodies and the whom clients feel safe enough It is not only the things that we've inherited from our fathers to disclose personal and family bodies of our children.

Continued on page 30

Daily Fare With

e s o R f e h C

Photos by Zachary Dailey

Chef Rose Isaacs is a native of Carroll County and lives in Carrollton with her husband Shawn and their son, Sebastian. She graduated from West Georgia Technical College in 2013 with a degree in Culinary Arts. After graduation, she began her career as a chef at the Carrollton Kroger Marketplace where she works in the bistro.

A perfect weeknight dish bursting with fall flavor.

Butternut Squash and Kale Pasta Ingredients

Preparation

1 tablespoon olive oil 4 ounces thick-cut bacon, cut into 1/2-inch dice 12 ounces butternut squash, cut into 1/2-inch dice 1 cup kale, cut into 1-inch pieces 1/2 pound orecchiette or seashell pasta Freshly grated Parmesan, to taste Salt and pepper, to taste

Place cut butternut squash and bacon onto a sheet pan and drizzle with olive oil. Cook for 30 minutes or until squash is tender. Remove from oven and stir in kale. Cook for an additional 10 minutes. While the squash and bacon are in the oven, cook pasta according to package directions, drain and place back in same pot. Place all the contents of the sheet pan into the pot with pasta. Grate plenty of Parmesan. Season with salt and pepper. Serves 4.

Pumpkin Butter Ingredients 3 1/2 cups pumpkin purée, homemade or canned 1 cup packed brown sugar 3/4 cup apple cider or juice 1 tablespoon lemon juice 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 1 teaspoon cinnamon 1/4 teaspoon nutmeg 1/4 teaspoon cloves

Preparation Combine all ingredients in a medium saucepan and stir well. Bring to a boil, then turn to low and simmer for about 30 minutes or until thickened. If using canned pumpkin, it takes about 10 minutes. Remove from heat, and allow to cool before storing in an airtight container in the refrigerator. To make homemade pumpkin purée: Cut a small pie pumpkin in half, remove seeds and place in a 9-inch-by-13-inch baking pan, skin side up. Pour in 1/2 cup water and cover with foil. Bake in a 350º F oven for 30 to 40 minutes or until fork tender. Remove from oven and scrape pumpkin from skin. Purée until smooth. If it is not blending well, add a small amount of water. Yields about 30 servings. WGW

This pumpkin butter is great in oatmeal, yogurt, spread on toast or English muffins, or even as an accompaniment to a cheese board.

Womentality

Inspiring quotes by extraordinary women “I have learned over the years that when one’s mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear.” – Rosa Parks

Photo courtesy of USIA / National Archives and Records Administration Records of the U.S. Information Agency Record Group 306, Public Domain, https://commons.wikimedia.

“I'm so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers.” – L.M. Montgomery

“On Halloween you get to become anything that you want to be.” – Ava Dellaira

“The further we've gotten from the magic and mystery of our past, the more we've come to need Halloween.” – Paula Guran

“Your fear is boring. … This is especially true when it comes to living a life of creativity. Fear is boring, because fear only ever has one thing to say to us, and that thing is: ‘Stop!’… My fear wants me to stop, because my fear wants me to be safe, and my fear perceives all motion, all inspiration, all work, all activity, all passion whatsoever as potentially life-threatening. My fear wants me to live a smaller life. The smallest imaginable life, ideally. My fear would prefer that I never got out of bed. Your fear is the same. Exactly the same as mine. I guarantee it.” – Elizabeth Gilbert

secrets that have haunted them for decades. We can be wounded and influenced by painful memories we "know" but do not know we know. It's not unusual for persons to have an experience that triggers the recollection and re-experiencing of an unremembered past event, most often traumatic. These hauntings, forgotten or intentionally concealed include "such intimate and profound areas of individual and family life as birth, adoption, parentage, infertility, abortion, physical and mental illness, sexual orientation and sexuality, incest, rape, violence, addictions, religion, violence, intermarriage, terrorism and wartime behavior, divorce, immigration status and death."9 I know from personal experience and my practice as a mental health counselor that facing the untold stories and toxic secrets that haunt us can also initiate a process of healing. Acknowledging our suffering, befriending it, can become the beginning of a process by which we come to discover we have the courage and strength to move forward in our lives. We can restore our capacity to live compassionate, inspirited lives, to even be joyful and empowered in the midst of the dark reality of the human condition.

What Scares Us May Also Save Us Jungian counselor Helen Luke differentiates between real suffering and neurotic depression. Consciously accepting or taking upon oneself the fact of human suffering is required for us to begin the process of self-realization and to free ourselves of our bondage to past suffering. Neurotic depression is, on the other hand, a consequence of our refusal or inability to face the suffering that threatens the ego's insistence it is quite together and in control. "The worst agonies of neurotic misery are endured by the ego rather than a moment of

We can be wounded and influenced by painful memories we "know" but do not know we know. It's not unusual for persons to have an experience that triggers the recollection and re-experiencing of an unremembered past event, most often traumatic.

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consent to the death of even a small part of its demands or its sense of importance."10 We choose to defiantly cling to our isolated, fearbased life rather than acknowledge our misery and flaws and, possibly, be transformed. Such is the case of Ebenezer Scrooge, the narcissistic, miserly old man in Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol, who, despite his resistance, is saved from his miserable life by the arrival of four ghosts or spirits. The play ends with Scrooge becoming a new person, a joyful and generous benefactor of others. Scrooge is visited by four ghosts. The tortured spirit of his deceased business partner warns Scrooge of the terrible fate awaiting him if he fails to change his ways and ignores the three spirits to come. The three spirits are dramatic representations of the inner process going on in Scrooge's psyche or soul, a process he fears and is reluctant to face. A spirit arrives to help him revisit his childhood loss of companionship and love, and his greed or love of money. The Spirit of Christmas Present shows him the good cheer as well as the poverty and suffering present at Christmas. Scrooge is told Tiny Tim, the son of his assistant, is fated to die. Scrooge is also chastised for his indifference to the poverty and suffering of children. Visited by the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come, Scrooge is reduced to tears realizing that no one will mourn his passing and that Tiny Tim will die. Sobbing, he falls before a neglected grave and a tombstone bearing his own name. Facing the stories of the past, feeling the misery of his shallow, loveless life and the suffering of others, and broken-hearted over the vision of Tiny Tim's death and his own demise, Scrooge is transformed. Christmas morning, everyone is greeted by a Scrooge who is now a joyful, generous embodiment of the Christmas Spirit. He becomes a father figure to Tiny Tim. Once Scrooge was "dead," but now he lives!

Ebenezer Scrooge, as is true for many of us, is rescued from his spiritually dead life by befriending, revisiting, and welcoming into his conscious life the past wounds, untold stories, and painful realities that heretofore kept him stuck in the past. Here are several things we can do to free ourselves from our bondage to past suffering: 1. Learn more about your family history. Reach out to members who come across as open and honest and more alive than dead, more present than absent. 2. Pay attention – to your dreams and day dreaming, your emotional ups and downs, what you project onto others that you don't want to see in yourself, and what's going on in your body. Our bodies carry our history and what's been passed on by our family and ancestors (and what we're passing on to others). 3. Be childlike, playful, and curious. Pause and just be in the moment. Let go of what you know and keep stepping into the unknown. Look at a friend or partner as if you are looking at him/her for the first time. 4. Stop whining and wallowing in your

5. 6.

suffering. Do something. See a therapist. Try going through town bringing to others some joy, love, and gratitude for life – if when, especially when, the rumor in town is the world is coming to an end! Breathe. You don't have to sit for hours in front of a blank wall. Sit down once in awhile, close your eyes, and listen to your breathing. Pray. You don't have to be elegant. Just say thanks! Be right here, rooted to the ground you're standing on, but imagine the dirt under your feet is sacred; it's part of a vast, incomprehensible, mysterious reality that is alive in you, others and most likely everything. Listen to what you're saying and what others are saying. Practice being real. Imagine what the other person speaking the words may actually be experiencing or feeling. Serve and help others, but don't be a martyr; take care of your self and your needs as well.

Practice doing the above and other things you might want to do – and do them imperfectly. Fortunately, we'll never become as together, special and spectacular as our egos aspire to be. People who are not haunted by something, who "have it all together," are a bore. We need to keep telling ourselves what the Master said to the Monk striving for perfection: "You're kind of perfect in your own imperfect way, but you still have a lot of work to do." WGW 1. James Hollis, Hauntings, Dispelling the Ghosts Who Run Our Lives. (Asheville, NC: Chiron Publiications, 2015), p. xi. 2. Ibid, p. 112. 3. Ibid, p. 48. 4. Ibid, p. xi. 5. Ibid, p. 4. 6. Michael Eigen, Dialogues with Michael Eigen. Psychic Singing. Loray Daws, Ed. (New York, Routledge, 2020), p. 37. 7. Sisela Bok, Secrets: The Ethics of Concealment and Revelation. (New York, Vintage, 1983). 8. Evan Imber-Black. "Secrets in Families and Family Therapy: An Overview," pp. 3-28 in Secrets in Families and Family Therapy, Evan Imber-Black, Ed. (New York: W.W. Norton & Co., 1993), pp. 13-14. 9. Ibid, p. 3. 10. Helen Luke, "Suffering," in Parabola (Vol. VIII, No. 1), January, 1983, pp. 66-70, p. 67.

Fred Richards-Daishi is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Life Coach in Carrollton, Ga., and past recipient of the George P. Podein Counselor of the Year Award from the Licensed Professional Counselors Association of Georgia. Fred will be honored Oct. 2, 2021 by the Carroll County Mental Health Advocates for his contributions to mental health, both locally and statewide. 31

Eat Healthier in 10 Easy Steps By Sandra Bolan

ood carbs, bad carbs, no carbs. Micro and macro nutrients. Intermittent fasting. Keto or Mediterranean diet? The list of how to eat “healthy” goes on and on. But the reality is more than 50 percent of Americans polled said doing their taxes is easier than figuring out how to eat healthy. First off, what is healthy eating? In a nutshell, it’s eating a variety of foods that provide nutrition to maintain your health, make you feel good and give you energy. It includes protein, fats, carbohydrates, water, vitamins and minerals. 1. View food as fuel. Whenever you eat something, ask yourself: Will this give me energy to play with my kids or fuel my workout? Will I get strong bones from this food, or will it help keep my skin young and glowing? Nutritious foods check all these boxes. Junk food, on the other hand, will have you reaching for sugar and caffeine to keep up with your kids, and your skin will look sallow.

2. Hunger or habit? When you grab that 3 p.m. snack, is it because you’re actually hungry or is it out of habit? Maybe you’re actually thirsty. The next time you reach for that mid-afternoon snack, drink water first. If a few minutes later you’re still hungry, have a snack, but opt for a carb/protein combo such as carrots and hummus or an apple and almond butter. 3. Portion distribution. Americans love to

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supersize everything. But when it comes to food, eating more is not always better. If you’re someone who eats a box of crackers or family sized bag of chips in one sitting – stop. Packaged food has portion sizes listed on the back of the bag or box. If 10 crackers is the portion size, take 10 crackers out of the box and put the rest away for another day. When it comes to homemade meals, the color of your plate actually impacts how much you eat. People tend to eat less when there’s a high color contrast between the food and plate. For example, research found people who served themselves fettuccini Alfredo on a white plate, dished out more than if they were putting it onto a red plate. The size of the dinner plate also matters. Back in the 1950s, the dinner plate was 9 inches in diameter. Today, plates start at 10.5 inches and go as high as 13 inches. Larger plates, lead to bigger portions. Buy smaller dinner plates, or do yourself one better: buy plates that are sectioned off for fruits, vegetables, whole grains and meat/protein. This may seem a bit childish, but it’s one of the simplest ways to ensure you’re not eating too much of one

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food group and too little of another. A serving is one plate. Pack leftovers up before you even sit down to eat so you’re not tempted to go back for seconds. 4. Shop the perimeter. All of your nutritional needs can be found in the outside aisles of the grocery store – meat/fish, fruits, vegetables, eggs, milk and cheese. When you need to supplement with packaged items such as rice, beans and pasta, go directly to them. Don’t wander up and down every aisle because that’s where you’ll find the processed junk food. If you buy packaged items, the shorter the ingredient list, the better. If you have to do an online search of the ingredients, just leave it on the shelf. 5. Front-load storage. Keep all of your healthy foods at the front of the fridge and pantry so when you’re hungry, that’s all you see when you open the door. Before you know it, your cravings for cookies, cake and chips will be replaced with a hankering for apples and nut butter. 6. No more sugar. Sugar makes things taste good. But its health benefits are basically zero and actually contribute to a number of

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diseases such as type 2 diabetes, obesity, heart attacks and strokes. Some sugar-loaded foods are easy to spot: sweet tea, non-diet soda, cereal, pastries and baked goods. But some sugars are hidden in unexpected places such as condiments (ketchup, barbecue sauce) and tomato-based sauces. Just 1 ounce of sweet tea has 32 grams of sugar. The American Heart Association recommends women consume no more than 24 grams of sugar a day – that includes foods and drinks. The good news is you don’t have to cut these foods out of your life, just opt for the lower/no sugar versions. For example, by switching from sweet tea to unsweet tea, you save yourself 7,840 calories a month or almost 2.5 pounds. 7. Cook more. The easiest way to ensure you eat healthy meals is to cook them yourself. This is also a lot cheaper than eating out. A $100 or $200 grocery cart may sound like a lot of money, but that’s three meals a day, plus snacks. There will also be leftovers that stretch your meals out even further. 8. Eat breakfast. Mornings are hectic. You have to get the kids up, fed and off to school, as well as get yourself to work. While you make sure the kids eat breakfast, you often skip it or head to the fast food drive-thru. Don’t skip breakfast but do skip the drive-thru. It’s likely been more than 12 hours since your last meal and your body needs food to fuel your mind and body for the day, as well as wake up your metabolism. A fast food breakfast will do more harm than good. Studies show people who eat a healthy high protein breakfast – which fast food is not – actually lose weight vs. those who skip breakfast or eat from the drive-thru – they gain weight, not to mention they’re at increased risk of heart disease and stroke. 9. Hail to the H20. An adequate daily fluid

intake for the average, healthy adult living in a temperate climate is approximately 15.5 cups (3.7 liters) of fluids a day for men and 11.5 cups (2.7 liters) of fluids a day for women, says the The U.S. National Academies of Sciences, Engineering and Medicine. These recommendations cover fluids from other beverages, food and water. About 80 percent of our daily fluid intake usually comes from drinks and the rest from food. To make your water intake easy, there are now bottles clearly marked with time gauges to keep you hydrated all day. 10. Strategically indulge. When we’re told we can’t have something, that’s all we focus on. Healthy eating doesn’t mean we never get to eat the gooey, greasy or sugary foods again. You just have to eat them more strategically. If you want chocolate, butter, cheese or cookies and cake, get the good stuff. A small amount of high quality food is far more satisfying than a lot of the cheap stuff. Eating healthy shouldn’t be thought of as punishment or a diet, but as a way of life. Food is fuel, and with everyone’s life in overdrive, we need the high octane fuel to keep us going, not the lowgrade gasoline. WGW

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Handling Stress in the Workplace By Sandra Bolan

C A R E E R S . S O U T H W I R E . C O M

e've all heard the old adage, “Choose as secretary, waitress, middle manager and a job you love, and you’ll never have to editor, according to the American Psychological work a day in your life.” If that were only Association. possible for everyone. The reality, however, for most employed people How to Reduce Workplace Stress is they have jobs they don’t like, but are good at them. Create Boundaries. This has been particularly We automatically associate job stress with being challenging over the past 18 months, during which overworked, but boredom can be just as stressful. time dining room tables have been transformed Job stress costs companies more than $300 into offices and bathrooms have become Zoom call billion annually due to accidents, absenteeism and central. Once your workday is done, shut the laptop diminished productivity. and put the phone away. There are also medical, Workplace stress is one of those occu- If possible, have two legal and insurance phones – one for work pational hazards that goes unnoticed. costs, according to the and one for personal But, slowly over time, it can potentially use. Don’t give coAmerican Institute of Stress. become a very large problem. workers your personal On-the-job stress cellphone number and also contributes to don’t give your work Warning signs you may be suffering more health complaints number to anyone from workplace stress: compared to financial outside the office. woes or family problems. Try an attitude One of the major adjustment. Resist • You’re anxious/irritable/depressed contributors to job stress aiming for perfection. • Lack interest in work is that employees are Instead, set realistic • Trouble sleeping in positions that don’t goals and strive to do • Trouble concentrating match their abilities. your best. You may hate Promotion and reward • Muscle tension your job, but focus on its pathways for staff are good attributes – it pays • Headaches also not clear. the bills and you have • Gastrointestinal issues Other contributing amazing co-workers. • Social withdrawal factors to workplace Negative thoughts, stress include fear of • Drug or alcohol abuse all day, everyday, is job loss; working more draining and zaps your overtime because of motivation. If there are reduced staffing, as well Negative Nellies at work, stay away from them. as pressure to meet increased expectations. Don’t let them drag you down. A person’s actual working environment can also Be sociable with co-workers. The more you be a stressor, in particular if it’s too noisy, has poor isolate yourself from others – either at work or home lighting, no ventilation or if a person who either runs – the more likely you’ll be stressed out. Hang out hot or cold controls the thermostat. with co-workers at lunch, even if you just sit at the You may also have a boss with a managerial table and do nothing more than listen. style that just doesn’t work for you – maybe a Sweat it out. There’s nothing like a good sweat micromanager or someone who is so laissez-faire, session first thing in the morning. It gets the blood she is unhelpful or not around for any sort of pumping and clears the mind for the day ahead. A assistance or support. post-work high octane cardio class or punching a heavy bag can also be a great way to blow off some steam. Either way, a daily workout helps reduce The Most Stressful Careers stress. Needless to say, police, fire and medical are Stress is an unavoidable part of life. The right among the most stressful occupations. amount of stress can actually push you to perform But there are other, less obvious, occupations your best. However, when there’s too much stress, it that cause an enormous amount of stress, such can drain you, both mentally and physically. WGW

Local Happenings

Due to our country's current health situation, please call or email the organizations included in our local events section to inquire about in-person meetings.

West Georgia Mental Health Professionals Wellness Meetup Group

This group meets the last Saturday of every month in Douglasville or Austell. For more information, contact Cheryl at theheartmatters@gmail.com or 678.754.5840. Learn more at www.heartmatterswellness.com.

Hope For The Journey This group meets the third Thursday of each month at 6:30 p.m. in the board room at the Tracy Stallings Community Center at 118 South White St. in Carrollton. These events are free to breast cancer survivors or those currently battling breast cancer. Learn more at www.hopeforthejourneywestga.org, email execdirector@hopeforthejourneywestga.org or call 770.214.1491.

Rare Pearls Mentoring and Leadership Program Rare Pearls mission is to enrich and empower the

lives of young girls and women. This group meets the third Saturday of each month at Heritage Baptist Church in Douglasville, from 2:30 to 4:30 p.m. This program is open to all girls ages 7 to 17. For more information, call 770.947.8210, email rarepearls2015@gmail.com or visit the website at www.rarepearlsmentoringandleadership.org.

Nursing From The Heart Breastfeeding Support Group This group meets the third Monday of each month from 5:30 to 6:30 p.m. at 500 Old Bremen Road in Carrollton. These events are free to pregnant women and moms looking for breastfeeding support. Free weight checks for your baby will be available. Come and share your breastfeeding journey with us. Please check our website for meeting and event updates at www.nursingfromtheheart.com.

Gertrude's House Breast Cancer Support Group This group meets the third Thursday of each month at 7 p.m. at Lithia Springs Family Chiropractic

fall happenings

E Q @o r iginal ca rrollt onga

Q @ dow ntow ncarrolltonga 10.2 // Groove Gypsies at the Amp 10.9 – 10 // Arts Festival of Carrollton at the Center for the Arts 10.9 // Carrollton Jazz Orchestra at the Amp 10.15 // Hocus Pocus movie at the Amp 10.16 // Once Upon a Halloween: Kid’s Costume Party & Meet-and-Greet at the Amp Sponsored by Once Upon a Boutique 10.18 // Great Pumpkin Decorating Event Sponsored by Butter’dudder at the Amp 10.23 // Dogtoberfest at the Amp Sponsored by Brown Dog Eatery 10.23 // Dan Tyminski concert at the Amp 10.30 // Trick-or-Treat on the Square 10.30 // Grasshopper Tea & The Basement of Wonder at the Center for the Arts 11.5 // Garrison Keillor with Guests Robin and Linda Williams at the Center for the Arts 11.12 // Carrollton Jazz Orchestra Fall Concert at the Center for the Arts

For all ev ent listings, visit CARROLLTONGA.COM/events

18th Annual

of Carrollton, GA

OCT 9 & 10, 2021 | 10 - 5 9 & 10, 2021 | 10 - 5 OCT

Featuring more than 70 national artists, live music, performances, kid zones, artist demonstrations, food vendors, as well as free admission and parking 251 Alabama St., Carrollton, GA | 770-838-1083 | artsfestivalofcarrollton.com

at 1758 Lee Rd. in Lithia Springs. This group is open to all survivors, caregivers, supporters, friends, family and those fighting breast cancer. Visit their Facebook page @GertrudesHouse or email them at GertrudesHouse@yahoo.com.

Domestic Abuse Support Group There is Hope is a support group for women survivors who have dealt with, or are currently dealing with, domestic violence. This is a private Facebook group where women survivors come together and share their personal stories of experience, strength and hope. For more information, please contact hopefulone807@gmail.com.

Survivors of Suicide Loss Support Groups Has your life been impacted by the loss of a friend or loved one to suicide? You are not alone. These groups offer peer support for anyone who has been affected by suicide loss. There is no cost to attend. Group meetings in Carrollton are the third Tuesday of each month from 7 to 9 p.m. at 306A Bradley Street. For more information, contact Ivey Rollins at iveyrollins@gmail.com or call 470.729.0909. Group meetings in Douglasville are the second Tuesday of each month from 7 to 8:30 p.m. at the First United Methodist Church at 6167 Priestley Mill Rd., Room 226. For more information, contact Terri Johnson at chose2live@aol.com or 770.765.2181. Group meetings in Newnan are the second Monday of each month at 7 p.m. at Crossroads Church, 2564 Hwy 154. For more information, contact Lynn Bradley at 770.301.4890 or email nbll.bradley170@gmail.com, or contact Nancy Bradley at 770.251.6216.

Miss West Georgia Open Competition Who will be the next Miss West Georgia? Miss West Georgia, an official affiliate of Miss Georgia and Miss America, is holding an open competition Saturday, Dec. 4 at 7 p.m. at the Mabry 40Center, located at 201 Trojan Drive in Carrollton.

Visit www.misswestga.com for the application. Deadline for applications is Nov. 19. For questions or more information, email Director Donna Barr at donnabarr@misswestga.com.

Out of the Darkness Walk to Fight Suicide The Out of the Darkness Experience is a journey of remembrance, hope and support. It unites our communities and provides an opportunity to acknowledge the ways in which suicide and mental illness have affected our lives and the lives of those we love and care about. Register your team for the Walk to Fight Suicide at www.afsp.org/WestGA When: Sunday, Oct. 24 at 3 p.m. Where: Carrollton Greenbelt, Hobbs Farm Park Trailhead, 500 Believers Blvd, Carrollton, Ga.

Carroll EMC Recognized for Workplace Culture Top workplace honors follow Carroll Electric Membership Cooperative (EMC) for the seventh consecutive year as a 2021 Best Places to Work recipient by the Atlanta Business Chronicle (ABC). The recognition comes only months after the cooperative announced its Top Workplaces award from the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. To qualify as a high-ranking employer, Carroll EMC employees were invited to participate in an anonymous, third-party survey conducted by Quantum Workplace, a research firm that administers workplace culture assessments on behalf of ABC. The questionnaire, consisting of closed and open-ended questions, measures their satisfaction and engagement within the cooperative and allows for honest feedback. Results reflected both high employee satisfaction and engagement with the co-op’s family-like culture being a main driver. For 2021, 100 companies qualified for a Best Places to Work nomination including 45 small companies, 25 medium companies, 25 large companies and five extra-large companies. Carroll EMC ranked 19 in the large business category. "We’re in the people business, and we want to foster an environment that encourages both personal and professional growth," said Human Resources Manager for Carroll EMC, Kim Jennings. “The workforce is changing, and we are doing all we can to meet the needs of our employees so they can better serve our Members.”

& PRESENT

The Ultimate West Georgia Women's Extravaganza THANK YOU!

Presenting "HEROIC" and Beauty Bar Sponsor "INFLUENTIAL" Sponsors

"EMPOWERING" Sponsors

West Georgia Technical College and West Georgia Woman Magazine thanks all of our sponsors, vendors and attendees for helping us make our first women's event a success! We look forward to seeing you at our extravaganza next year! Additional Sponsors

Drs. Fred and Anne Richards Vendor Breakfast Sponsor

"ACTIVIST" Sponsors

Superior Mountain Water Water Sponsor

#WGWE2021

DJ Richard Turnbull Honorary EMCEE

The Honorable J. Edward Hulsey, Jr., Musical Entertainment Sponsor

Not Just Stranger Danger Protecting Your Child from Sexual Abuse By Sandra Bolan

trangers. That’s who bad people used to be to kids. The truth, however, is that anyone can be a child predator. In fact, 90 percent of child sexual offenders are victims’ relatives, family friends, teachers and coaches. One in four girls and one in six boys will be sexually abused before the age of 18, according to the National Sexual Violence Resource Center. Starting as early as age 2, parents need to have age-appropriate conversations with their children about what appropriate and inappropriate interactions are between adults and children. Between 2 and 4 years of age, use the proper words for body parts. A penis is a penis, not a winkie. A vagina is a vagina, not a who-ha. This helps children build positive body images and opens the door to honest conversations about their bodies. Explain to children that other than mom, dad, the doctor and caregiver, no one is allowed to touch them in those areas. An easy way for children to remember this is to tell them any body part a bathing suit covers is off limits. When children are between ages 5 and 8, continue to reinforce those boundaries. It’s also important to explain to children that if an adult looks at them or acts in an manner that makes them uncomfortable, it has nothing to do with them. Helping the child understand this helps take away the predator’s weapon of shame and fear. While professionals agree at this age children should still be supervised online, let’s face it, they will go online without you knowing it. Use all parental controls available to you. Make it clear to your children that no matter who asks, they are not to give out any personal information to their online "friends." At age 9 and older, children may begin to become curious about their own sexuality, and this can put them in precarious situations.

When explaining this to your child, refrain from using language that will foster fear. This could actually make the child terrified of everything and everyone, and that is not what you want. You just want them to be aware of what is and is not acceptable behavior directed toward them. This empowers children to recognize and avoid potentially dangerous situations.

"No" is the Most Powerful Word Child predators like children who are reluctant to disobey an adult or person of authority. Explain to the child it’s all right to say or yell “No!” to any adult who asks the child to do something she is uncomfortable with. Make sure she understands she should tell you right away about the incident and that you will not judge or punish her. Explain to your child that her body is her property. She doesn't have to kiss or hug anyone she doesn't want to – this includes family members and close family friends. Never force or shame your child into giving affection to anyone.

Tips for Abuse Prevention Look for the helpers. If your child gets separated from you or her caregiver in a public place, such

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as a theme park, teach your child to seek out an adult, preferably a female with a child, and ask her to call you or 911. If your child can’t find a female, she should seek out an adult with a name tag, or a uniformed law enforcement officer. Adults don't need help from children. The most common way a predator used to get close to children was to hang around schools and playgrounds and claim they’ve lost their puppy and need the child to help them find it. Just in case your child does encounter a stranger who attempts to ask her for help, explain to her that an adult never needs the help of a child to find anything. She should also never accept anything such as candy or toys from strangers without her parent or caregiver present. Identifiers. Kids are so proud to wear their team jersey out in public. Don’t let them. The school and team names emblazoned all over the shirt, jacket and pants are identifiers to a predator. So, too, is the child’s last name on the back of the jersey, all of which predators will use to approach children to gain their trust and trick them into thinking they are more friend than foe. Require background checks. Any adult who will have close contact with your child must undergo a background check. This should be non-negotiable. Never be afraid to drop in unexpectedly on your child's extracurricular activity practice, or when they are being cared for by a nanny or babysitter. Trust your gut. If you feel like there’s something not quite right, either with your child or someone in your child’s life, go with your gut. It’s much better to be embarrassed than have your child be subjected to something horrendous.

Warning Signs of Sexual Abuse Only one in five kids will report they are or were sexually abused. Parents should always be vigilant for warning signs. Every child's response is different, and this is not an exhaustive list of all symptoms. • The child attempts to avoid certain people or places, particularly if they used to be excited to be around those people • Unexplained stomachaches, headaches and outbursts. • The child's grades drop. • Unexplained urinary tract infections or swelling in the genital area • Persistent or consistent pain with bowel movements or urination • Bleeding, pain or discharge in the mouth, anus

Walk to Fight Suicide

West Georgia Out of the Darkness Walk Sunday, October 24th, 2021 @ 3:00pm Carrollton Greenbelt, Hobbs Farm Park Trailhead 500 Believers BLVD, Carrollton, GA 30117 Register at www.afsp.org/WestGA

• • • • • • • •

or genitals Knowledge about sexual topics beyond the child's developmental age Regressing to outgrown behaviors such as bed wetting or thumb sucking Withdrawal from activites or interactions with peers the child previously enjoyed Desire to spend unusual amounts of time alone Having unexplained toys, gifts or money Refusing to share secrets they share with an adult or older child Fear of being close with others Talking about a new friend who is an adult or older child

Not every adult is a predator. Most people are harmless. But it’s those sneaky and manipulative ones you have to look out for. Arm your children and yourself with the knowledge of how to tell the good from the bad. Darkness to Light offers free training for adults in the community that specializes in the education and prevention of child sexual abuse, other forms of abuse and mandated reporting. For more information on upcoming training, contact Gyla Gonzalez at 770.214.2080 or email carrollfc@yahoo.com. You can also visit the website at www.D2L.org. WGW

Kids Korner

Really Easy Refrigerator Pumpkin

Materials Orange, green and black construction paper Green pipe stem School glue Scissors Magnets

By Jordan Dailey Photos by Zachary Dailey

Instructions Cut a pumpkin shape out of the orange construction paper. Cut various shapes for pumpkin eyes, mouth and nose out of the black construction paper. Glue green pipe stem to top of pumpkin cutout. Cut a stem out of the green construction paper and glue on top of the end of the pipe stem. Twist pipe stem into shape as pictured. Glue magnets to the back of the pumpkin cutout and all of the black shapes. Place on refrigerator and decorate pumpkin cutout daily as desired.

DIY Halloween T-shirt Materials Black T-shirt Plastic spray bottle Halloween template (we found ours at our local dollar store) Bleach diluted with water

Instructions Fill plastic spray bottle with half water and half bleach. Lie T-shirt flat on a hard surface. Place Halloween template on T-shirt wherever desired. Spray bleach water sparingly over template and on T-shirt until desired effect is achieved. WGW

Safety Tips For A Happy Halloween

— Teach children to look to the left, right and then left again before crossing the street, and to always cross the street at corners using the crosswalks and traffic signals. — Decorate costumes and treat bags with reflective tape and choose lighter colors. — Give your child glow sticks or flashlights — Avoid masks that may obstruct your child’s view whenever possible. Use face paint or makeup instead. — The child’s costume should fit well to avoid stepping on or tripping over it. — Children under the age of 12 should be accompanied by a responsible adult or guardian. If they are mature enough to go by themselves, encourage them to go in groups and stay in familiar and well-lit areas. — Teach children to never run into the street or cross the street between parked cars. — Popular trick-or-treating hours are between 5:30 to 9:30 p.m. Be especially alert and watch for children during these hours on Halloween night.

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Happy Halloween Word Search

Word Bank

Boo Cackle Apples Broom Witch Ghost Cauldron Eerie Brew Halloween Mask Spirit Potion Zombies Web Shadows Mummy October Howl Moonlight

Word search created at puzzle-maker.com

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Dr. Harvey, bottom right, with her staff.

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Good Things Are in Store The Tanner Retail Pharmacy offers prescription and over-the-counter medications and an array of gift items — all provided with great personal service! Curbside service is available at the south side of the Tanner Health Pavilion, nearest to the parking deck. We’re here for you!

Learn more at thepharmacy.tanner.org or call 770-812-8222. 48

LOCATED IN TH E

Tanner Health Pavilion 706 Dixie Street, Suite 140 Carrollton, GA 30117 Weekdays, 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. Most insurances are accepted.

RETAIL PHARMACY