Child Advocate
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December 2012 Issue 3, Volume 20
Today’s Youth
2012 Legislative Focus Day February 20, 2012
Contents
The Urban Onion 116 Legion Way Olympia, WA 98501
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We need you this year to help shape 2012 legislative priorities in what will again be a very difficult economic climate. Bring your kids!
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oin us for Focus Day as we rally on the Capitol steps and meet with legislators and staff, leave notes, receive updates from policy-makers on key issues and network with other PTA advocates. PTA volunteer advocates can make a difference when they come to the Capitol in large numbers.
Save the Date... May 4-6, 2012
Child Advocate
a Washington State PTA parent involvement publication
Washington State PTA 2003 65th Avenue West Tacoma, WA 98466-6215 Website: www.wastatepta.org Email: wapta@wastatepta.org Phone: (253) 565-2153 or 1-800-562-3804 Fax: (253) 565-7753
VISION:
Understanding Today’s Youth Culture
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Sleep and School Success
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Staying Focused at School
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Appearances Matter
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Challenges for the Next Generation of Employees
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The Child Advocate is published online every month from September through
Washington State PTA Convention Seattle Airport Doubletree Hotel
The
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May by the Washington State PTA, 2003 65th Avenue West, Tacoma, WA 984666215, (253) 565-2153. Contributors are welcome. Call the State PTA office for guidelines. Whenever PTA is used it also refers to PTSA. PTA is a registered trademark of the National Congress of Parents and Teachers. Novella Fraser, Washington State PTA President Bill Williams, Washington State PTA Executive Director Karen Fisker-Andersen, Editor
“Making every child’s potential a reality.”
MISSION:
PTA is: n A powerful voice for all children, n A relevant resource for families and communities, and n A strong advocate for the well-being and education of every child. The Washington State PTA accomplishes the mission of PTA by
• Speaking on behalf of children and youth in the schools, in the community, and before governmental bodies and other organizations that make decisions affecting children; • Supporting parents* in developing skills to raise, protect and advocate for their children; • Encouraging parent*, teacher, student and community involvement; • Promoting opportunities for positive outcomes for children; and • Being a financially stable, well-managed organization that promotes diversity, provides quality service, models best practices and values its members and employees. *Parent may include adults who play an important role in a child’s family life since other adults (grandparents, aunts, uncles, or guardians) may carry the primary responsibility for a child’s health, welfare, education and safety.
Understanding Today’s Youth Culture U
nderstanding our kids is easier when you consider trends in today’s youth culture. Obviously technology is a huge factor in our children’s lives, but other things that help us understand them are the current trend towards individuality, and the competitive nature of their lives and subsequent feelings of anxiety that is associated with that. Use of Technology
Today’s kids have grown up with technology. In many ways our kids have helped shape the technology that is popular today and technology has helped shape them. For example when kids want to purchase a song, they go to iTunes and buy that individual song, instead of going to a store to purchase a CD that contains a whole album of songs from an artist. Their comfort with using technology benefits them at school and will someday help them in their careers as well, however it also poses some
The Child Advocate, December 2011
unique challenges. Many kids are more comfortable using social networking sites and instant messaging to keep in touch with their friends than in real life conversations. Kids may play video games with their friends in their own homes instead of going outside and being active together. In fact, the increase of mobile technology has allowed our kids to stay in touch with each other constantly. But do these digital communications and gaming activities really build the same kind of bonds that are built by actually spending time together? It doesn’t appear so. Kids may have a long list of friends on their social networking sites, and may text each other frequently, but these friendships may be superficial. Many kids today find themselves isolated when they most need a friend. As parents, we need to be aware that our kids need face-to-face time with their friends. They need to do things together in the real world and be engaged in activities that don’t involve status updates or digital gaming.
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Additionally, the technology itself is continually being updated leaving kids to feel that they “need” to get the latest game or gaming system so they can play online with their friends and not be left out. Similarly they “need” the latest phone, trendy apps or other gadgets because that’s what the other kids are doing and talking about. Overuse of technology can become an addiction much like gambling or alcoholism, and eventually the rest of the areas of their lives may suffer—grades, family, real world opportunities, etc. Warning Signs of Possible Technology Addiction:
• Your children are often texting when in face-to-face communication with another people • Your children’s grades, health, and family-time decline as more and more time is spent at the computer or on their phones. • Your children are constantly updating statuses, profile pictures, or commenting on other people’s postings. • Your children have decreasing social lives in the real-world.
they think they deserve. Parents may also be unwittingly feeding this unhealthy outlook by arguing with teachers about their children’s grades or homework loads.
Another challenge with the integration of technology in our children’s lives is through targeted advertising. In many ways our children’s digital habits make them more vulnerable to materialism because advertisers are better at creating customized ads that specifically target them.
When these kids become adults, they may feel entitled to high salaries and promotions at the workplace. In relationships, they may put themselves first and may be unwilling to compromise or even see that a situation may warrant it. Building Healthy Self-esteem:
• Provide your children with opportunities to try new things, but also expect your children to help around the house. • Kids should be loved dearly, but never idolized by their parents. Don’t be afraid to offer correction when needed. • Offer guidance when asked for, but let your children make decisions, face consequences of those decisions, and learn from their mistakes. Protecting your children from their problems will only rob them of valuable learning opportunities. • Encourage good work ethics. Praise your children for working hard and for persevering through difficult situations. Don’t offer unearned praise. They should feel good about what they have achieved and the effort involved, not the trophy awarded.
Focus on Individualism
Increase in Competition
Our kids have grown up in an era where a lot of emphasis is placed on their self-esteem and feeling special. While having high self-esteem is obviously an important trait to build confident and capable students, when too much emphasis is placed on the individual to the exclusion of thinking of others, this trend can have some serious drawbacks.
Our society has grown increasingly more competitive. This is evidenced by the growth of select sports, increasingly competitive college admissions, and the lean job market. At the same time that kids are getting the message from the culture that they are unique and that everyone has a special gift, making it harder for these kids to stand out due to the competition.
Kids need to learn that other people around them are special as well. Too often in recent years, some parents have orchestrated their kids’ lives so they are constantly busy with activities and are shielded from any kind of conflict or unpleasant situation. To be well-adapted, kids need to be able to solve their own problems and at times, face the reality that life isn’t always filled with new and exciting opportunities. Kids who don’t learn that lesson often become adults who are overly focused on themselves and are unable to cope with tough times in school, relationships with other people, or eventually at work. At school these self-absorbed kids will often feel entitled to good grades, even if they haven’t done the work that would warrant it. Kids who feel entitled may be tempted to cheat, lie or steal in order to get what
Competition isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It can help us to try harder to be our best. However, it can also cause a lot of anxiety. In fact, young people today are more anxious than ever. Naturally our kids are disappointed when they don’t stand out, don’t make the team, or are rejected from the college of their choice. Adding to this disappointment is that their friends may not offer the support system that might have been available in the past. On social networking sites they may see pictures or status postings from their friends doing the things they are missing out on, without realizing the hurt that these posts may inflict. Anxiety and depression are very real issues for our children. Parents need to help their children understand that there is more than one route to achieve their goals. Helping Kids Cope with Competition:
• Come along side your kids and show them alternate routes when some doors close on them. Give them hope that they desperately need to fulfill their dreams. • Help children recognize that they are important for their personality and character more than anything they could achieve. Some kids stand out because they don’t give up or they try harder. • Recognize that kids long for security. Love your kids for who they are, not what they can become compared to everyone else. Reassure them that you will always be there for them. • Encourage them to be patient with themselves. Our kids have grown up in a world of instant gratification. Remind them in the real world, success takes time, but happiness in the simple things in life can be achieved at all times along the journey. n
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a Washington State PTA parent involvement magazine
Sleep And School Success By Dr. Catherine Darley
A s a community, we all want our children to succeed in school, and work hard to make this happen. Succeeding in school takes many qualities--to be calm and focused, able to remember and creatively problem solve, and have physical stamina and coordination. We’ve heard about the impact a healthy diet and regular exercise can have on these qualities, but give little attention to the third factor--sleep health. Think of health as a three legged stool, the legs being sleep, diet and exercise. If any one of these is missing, the stool no longer supports health and school success. Sleep and Performance
There is a broad range of cognitive skills which are impaired by inadequate sleep, from simple memory tasks to complex problem solving. The students who get the most sleep tend to get higher grades. Attention and physical coordination is also impaired by poor sleep, leading to increased playground injuries and driving accidents. Developing social skills is another important task during these formative years. When people get inadequate sleep they are less able to read the emotions in another’s face, make more self-centered decisions, and experience negative events as particularly bad, and good events as not as good. A new Center for Disease Control report (Sept 2011) shows that teens who get less than 8 hours of sleep nightly have increased risk of using marijuana, alcohol and cigarettes, being sexually active, and have increased feelings of hopelessness and suicidal thoughts. Sleep Needs and Pubertal Changes
Sleep needs change as children develop. Here are the average sleep needs by age.
The Child Advocate,December 2011
Age
Hours of sleep needed
3-5 5-12 13-19
12 10-11 9-9.5
There is individual variation. Some people are long sleepers or short sleepers, consistently getting more or less than others their age. There are also differences in the body clock (or circadian rhythm) that cause young children to be on an early schedule, and then shift to a later schedule during puberty. New research has shown than the pubertal shift to a later schedule is one of the first pubertal changes, and can occur before other physical changes. For some teens, this shift in their body clock can be quite significant, causing them to be unable to fall asleep before 1am, and then have difficulty getting up in the morning. The older students can be significantly sleep deprived as their body is programmed to be awake late in the evening, yet they need to get up early for school. When high school start times are shifted later (as done in Minnesota) students get more sleep. School attendance, graduation rates, and grades all improve. Sleep Deprivation and Sleep Disorders
You’ve probably heard of various sleep disorders in adults – sleep apnea, insomnia, restless legs syndrome and many others. Unfortunately, children are not immune from sleep disorders, though they are not diagnosed as often. By far the most common sleep problem for children is insufficient sleep. This is when less sleep is obtained each night than the norm for their age, and it causes excessive daytime sleepiness or behavioral problems. Approximately 53% of grade school children are sleep deprived, and this number increases to 91% of high school seniors. When children don’t
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get adequate sleep, all the abilities they need to do well in school are impaired, as discussed above.
2nd- Once you have the number of hours needed, write down the bedtime and waketime that allows this amount of sleep.
Special Concerns – ADHD and obesity
3rd- Institute 30-60 minutes of wind-down time before lights out. This should be a relaxing activity in low light (No TV, computer or electronic devices).
There are growing numbers of children diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). There is a connection between ADHD and sleep. The sleep deprivation that we’ve discussed can cause problems with impulse control, attention and fidgeting. People with ADHD have increased rates of sleep disorders, especially obstructive sleep apnea and periodic limb movements of sleep. When these sleep disorders are diagnosed and treated, a significant number of children no longer meet the criteria for ADHD or need treatment. Across the country we are seeing an increase in the number of children who are overweight and obese. This is not surprising since the majority of students are sleep deprived, and sleep deprivation changes appetite so that people eat more, and more of the unhealthy foods. Sleep Skills and Tips
To help your children sleep well, put in place a daily routine that supports healthy sleep and all it’s benefits.
4th – Make the bedroom a great place to sleep – dark, cool (temperature lower than 65), no pets, quiet, and clean. 5th- If your child snores, has restless legs symptoms, is unable to fall asleep at bedtime or to get out of bed in the morning, or has ADHD, then you may need to have her/him screened for sleep disorders. Conclusion
Sleep health is a missing piece for many children, and has a global effect on their ability to do well in school and overall well-being. Ensuring your children get the sleep they need will help them with cognitive skills, social interactions, and athletics. And teaching your children how to get healthy sleep is a life-long skill that will serve them well. n Dr. Catherine Darley is a sleep specialist, based in Seattle WA at The Institute of Naturopathic Sleep Medicine. In addition to providing patient care, she regularly presents for PTAs on children’s sleep health and how parents can help their children get healthy sleep. You can reach her at drdarley@naturalsleepmedicine.net.
1st – Identify how much sleep your child does best with by thinking about a vacation or time when they slept on their own schedule, and were well-rested during the day.
Staying Focused at School Sstudents. taying focused at school seems to be increasingly difficult for our The fact that many of them are accustomed to multi-tasking--listening to their iPod while they text their friends and do their homework--may contribute to their seemingly shortened attention span. Adding to the attention problems is the fact that some teens just don’t get enough sleep and may have diets consisting of junk food, caffeine and energy drinks. The other issue that may be interfering with their focus in class is that some kids don’t want to appear like they are trying too hard. Ideally, these kids would like to get “good enough” grades by doing the least amount of work as possible. Sadly many kids who are chronic underachievers eventually get behind and lose self-confidence in their abilities and don’t have the study habits to catch up. Encouraging Good Study Skills:
• Set high expectations for your kids. Stay involved in their education. Pay attention to the grades on their papers and whether or not they are turning in schoolwork on-time. • Help your kids set goals. School work isn’t fun, but it is necessary. Parents really need to help their children understand that doing
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their best in school is their ticket to having successful and fulfilling careers someday. • Support your children’s teacher. Don’t argue with your children’s teacher about their grades or work load. • Encourage good study habits at home. Cell phones should be put aside during homework time and only accessed during predetermined breaks or after homework is complete. • Praise your children when they have worked hard on an assignment, no matter what the final grade of the project is. • Help your children find a connection between what they are learning at school with the real world. n
a Washington State PTA parent involvement magazine
Appearances Matter The Way Kids Dress and Adorn Themselves Influences the Way People View Them
Piercings Tattoos Hairstyles Fashions
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merican society is consumed by people’s appearances. Not only are padded bathing suits being marketed to young girls, more and more people of all ages are getting plastic surgery, implants, Botox or using other means of augmenting their looks.
opportunities that otherwise they may have enjoyed. It may also isolate them from other teens who are wary of befriending individuals who may be viewed as rebellious.
Teenagers today are no different. They want to stand out from the crowd. Many are opting for tattoos, piercings, and unusual hair coloring as a result.
• Fashions. Fortunately most schools have a dress code for what students can wear and how high skirts can be. Parents should reinforce the need to adhere to these dress codes. Don’t purchase items that don’t comply with the school dress code and don’t allow your child to leave the house in clothes that are not dress code compliant. Establish consequences for teens who may be tempted to change into inappropriate attire after leaving the house.
In addition, fashion for girls have become more and more revealing. In some cases, girls wear clothing and make-up that make them seem far beyond their ages. Advertising is partly responsible for this new trend that makes our youth want to grow up faster. In addition to advertising, magazines feature models who have been airbrushed and altered to appear flawless. Celebrities and musicians have also helped make tattoos and piercings popular among our youth. As parents, we need to help our kids understand that the way they dress and adorn themselves affects how people view them. In an attempt for attention, dressing provocatively may lead some girls into unsafe situations. Tattoos and unorthodox piercings may also cause some people to view these teens as trouble-makers and as a result, they may be overlooked for
The Child Advocate, December 2011
What Parents Can Do:
• Tattoos and piercings require parental consent for minors. Parents should not consent to these procedures (except ear piercing, which of course is an accepted form of piercing in our society). When children become adults, they may choose to go ahead with tattoos or piercings. However, make sure they know that these type of adornments can send the wrong message about them. It can affect people’s first impressions and their ability to get good jobs. Remind them that piercings in unusual locations can easily become infected and that tattoos are permanent. • Hairstyles. Many parents allow their children to decide their own hairstyles, and colors since they are temporary, but these decisions need to be discussed and agreed on by individual families. n
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Challenges For the Next Generation of Employees Y oung graduates entering today’s uncertain work environment face an uphill battle for employment. Not only are they facing a lean job market,
Instead encourage them to weigh their options, choose a solution, and cope with the consequences. These are critical thinking skills that are not taught in school, but are extremely important in any job environment.
but if they are able to find work in their field they may face budget cuts and layoffs soon after starting their jobs. Added to this stress, many college graduates also have student loans to pay. Living at home with the parents seems to be the norm for today’s graduates, but there are a couple other obstacles our young people face that are worth considering.
Communication skills are also often overlooked. Kids need to be able to express their thoughts in complete sentence without using slang in their conversations and written communications.
Adapting to Work Expectations
Many young people are well educated and well rounded in a number of ways. They play instruments, have participated on various sports teams, clubs, traveled, and have had a number of other opportunities, but when it comes down to work, they might not really know what it takes to hold down a job. Jobs are not always fun and exciting. This is especially true with entrylevel work. Sometimes you work in a job because you must to support your family. And although it is good to enjoy your job, every job includes tasks that aren’t always enjoyable. Kids need to learn to be self-motivated in every situation to be job-ready. Getting along with co-workers and following the lead of your supervisor may require them to learn self-control. Being courteous to others and respecting authority are essential to be successful at work. Parents need to hold their kids accountable for these character qualities as they grow up. Resist your temptation to swoop down and fix your children’s problems.
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Unrealistic Expectations
Many kids have unrealistic expectations for what they would like to do as careers. Not everyone can be a famous actress, musician or make a million dollars. Parents need to help their kids establish some realistic expectations for their career goals. In addition, many kids today are accustomed to a quality of life that they may not be able to support on their own, at least not right away. Talk to your kids about what they should expect regarding salaries, benefits and promotions. They will almost certainly start work at the bottom of the job ladder and through hard work and some luck may slowly make their way up from there. Remind them that these things take time and have to be earned. They need to learn to be patient and learn how to save for the things they want in the meantime. Parents can show kids what real work is like. Take them to work with you. Encourage them to talk to other adults that have careers that they may be interested in. Finally, the best way parents can prepare their children to succeed in the work world is to establish good work ethics at home. n
a Washington State PTA parent involvement magazine