UP15_21

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Former Student Body President Caught Shooting Baby Owls!!!!!

UNETHICALPRESS FAU’S FAKEST NEWS SOURCE MARCH 25, 2014 | VOL. 15 # 21

ATHLETIC DIRECTOR PAT CHUN ON

BATH SALTS P. 28 A Woman As Men’s Basketball Coach?

UNHEARD OF. P. 24

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upressonline.com f universitypress t @upressonline DICTATOR BOSS LADY - Lulu Ramadan

March 25, 2014

SHE’S SINGLE - Michelle Friswell TALL AS HELL - Chris Hamann CONTRACT KILLER - Brendon Lies ASSISTANT CREATIVE DESTRUCTOR - Laura May Jockers RESIDENT CREEPER - Ryan Murphy KNOW ENGLISH GOOD - Carissa Giard ME TWO - Cristina Solorzano EVERYTHING INTERESTING EDITOR - Jamie Vaughn FIVE-OUT-OF-FIVE STARS - Maddy Mesa TOKEN SPORTS GUY - Wesley Wright

#FOLLOWME - Cealia Brannan WE CAN’T GET RID OF THEM - Emily Bloch, Austen Erblat STARVING ARTIST - Jonathan Giger GRAMMAR NAZI - Lynette Perez BEARDED PAPER BOY - Jake Stuart BABYSITTER - Dan Sweeney [STILL] FIRED - Michael Koretzky COVER BY BRENDON LIES

7 --

The Unethical Press, where you can take your ethics and shove it... By Lulu Ramadan

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Athletic Director Pat Chun is facing vicious public rumors in just his second year on the job. By Wesley Wright

Page 8

New support group on campus helps Boca’s richest problem. By Maddy Mesa

24 FAU women’s basketball coach Kellie Lewis-Jay may be better served to coach both the men’s team and her own. Watch out, she just might. By Wesley Wright Page 20

Page 18

My very original dating advice that every college girl should know to attract and keep a man. By Jamie Vaughn

Everyone says marijuana helps with studies and helps teachers teach. Read what FAU President John Kelly thinks and why. By Andrew Fraieli

March 25, 2014

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THE UNETHICAL PRESS where you can take your ethics and shove it...

I

By Lulu Ramadan Editor In Chief

can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard people complain about the UP. They say we’re too negative. They say we misrepresent facts. And they even say we don’t report our stories fairly. The thing is, it’s not just us. It’s the media in general. People question this entity that has complete control over the release of information. The sad thing is you really should question all the information you hear and read. Media outlets have complete control of the information they choose to release under First Amendment protection. Some media outlets do misrepresent information and exhibit bias. But others follow the century old guidelines set forth by the largest journalism organization in the nation: the Society of Professional Journalists Code of Ethics (to the right). This code is not law. It’s not mandatory, but it’s a set of guidelines that journalists follow to keep their work ethical. And most journalists do follow it, including us at the UP. But in this issue, we’re doing the opposite. We’re taking all of those codes and breaking them — on purpose. Next to each story is a list of all of the codes we broke. So, flip through and take a good look, because this is what the UP would be like if it wasn’t for the Code of Ethics. And if you have any comments or concerns, keep them to yourself. We don’t care this time around.

Photo by Ryan Murphy

CODES BROKEN - Abide by the same high standards to which they hold others. - Encourage the public to voice grievances against the news media.

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PREAMBLE Members of the Society of Professional Journalists believe that public enlightenment is the forerunner of justice and the foundation of democracy. The duty of the journalist is to further those ends by seeking truth and providing a fair and comprehensive account of events and issues. Conscientious journalists from all media and specialties strive to serve the public with thoroughness and honesty. Professional integrity is the cornerstone of a journalist’s credibility. Members of the Society share a dedication to ethical behavior and adopt this code to declare the Society’s principles and standards of practice.

SEEK TRUTH AND REPORT IT

MINIMIZE HARM

Journalists should be honest, fair and courageous in gathering, reporting and interpreting information.

Ethical journalists treat sources, subjects and colleagues as human beings deserving of respect.

Journalists should:

Journalists should:

X

Test the accuracy of information from all sources and exercise care to avoid inadvertent error. Deliberate distortion is never permissible.

X

X

Diligently seek out subjects of news stories to give them the opportunity to respond to allegations of wrongdoing.

X

X

Identify sources whenever feasible. The public is entitled to as much information as possible on sources’ reliability.

X

Always question sources’ motives before promising anonymity. Clarify conditions attached to any promise made in exchange for information. Keep promises.

X

Make certain that headlines, news teases and promotional material, photos, video, audio, graphics, sound bites and quotations do not misrepresent. They should not oversimplify or highlight incidents out of context.

X X

X X X X

Show compassion for those who may be affected adversely by news coverage. Use special sensitivity when dealing with children and inexperienced sources or subjects. Be sensitive when seeking or using interviews or photographs of those affected by tragedy or grief: Recognize that gathering and reporting information may cause harm or discomfort. Pursuit of the news is not a license for arrogance. Recognize that private people have a greater right to control information about themselves than do public officials and others who seek power, influence or attention. Only an overriding public need can justify intrusion into anyone’s privacy. Show good taste. Avoid pandering to lurid curiosity. Be cautious about identifying juvenile suspects or victims of sex crimes. Be judicious about naming criminal suspects before the formal filing of charges. Balance a criminal suspect’s fair trial rights with the public’s right to be informed.

X

Never distort the content of news photos or video. Image enhancement for technical clarity is always permissible. Label montages and photo illustrations.

ACT INDEPENDENTLY

X

Avoid misleading re-enactments or staged news events. If re-enactment is necessary to tell a story, label it.

X

Avoid undercover or other surreptitious methods of gathering information except when traditional open methods will not yield information vital to the public. Use of such methods should be explained as part of the story.

Journalists should be free of obligation to any interest other than the public’s right to know. Journalists should:

X

Never plagiarize.

X

Tell the story of the diversity and magnitude of the human experience boldly, even when it is unpopular to do so.

X

Examine their own cultural values and avoid imposing those values on others.

X

Avoid stereotyping by race, gender, age, religion, ethnicity, geography, sexual orientation, disability, physical appearance or social status.

X X X

X X X X

Avoid conflicts of interest, real or perceived. Remain free of associations and activities that may compromise integrity or damage credibility. Refuse gifts, favors, fees, free travel and special treatment, and shun secondary employment, political involvement, public office and service in community organizations if they compromise journalistic integrity. Disclose unavoidable conflicts. Be vigilant and courageous about holding those with power accountable. Deny favored treatment to advertisers and special interests and resist their pressure to influence news coverage. Be wary of sources offering information for favors or money; avoid bidding for news.

X

Support the open exchange of views, even views they find repugnant.

BE ACCOUNTABLE

X

Give voice to the voiceless; official and unofficial sources of information can be equally valid.

X

Distinguish between advocacy and news reporting. Analysis and commentary should be labeled and not misrepresent fact or context.

Journalists are accountable to their readers, listeners, viewers and each other. Journalists should:

X

Distinguish news from advertising and shun hybrids that blur the lines between the two.

X

Recognize a special obligation to ensure that the public’s business is conducted in the open and that government records are open to inspection.

X X X X X

Clarify and explain news coverage and invite dialogue with the public over journalistic conduct. Encourage the public to voice grievances against the news media. Admit mistakes and correct them promptly. Expose unethical practices of journalists and the news media. Abide by the same high standards to which they hold others.

The SPJ Code of Ethics is voluntarily embraced by thousands of journalists, regardless of place or platform, and is widely used in newsrooms and classrooms as a guide for ethical behavior. The code is intended not as a set of “rules” but as a resource for ethical decision-making. It is not — nor can it be under the First Amendment — legally enforceable. The present version of the code was adopted by the 1996 SPJ National Convention, after months of study and debate among the Society’s members. Sigma Delta Chi’s first Code of Ethics was borrowed from the American Society of Newspaper Editors in 1926. In 1973, Sigma Delta Chi wrote its own code, which was revised in 1984, 1987 and 1996.


Boca Brats are the New support group on campus helps Boca’s richest problem. By Maddy Mesa Reviews Editor

wooorsstt Photos by Ryan Murphy

F

AU is in Boca Raton, and Boca Raton is just filled with who I think are the most annoying and spoiled girls – Boca Brats. I can’t stand them. And now these Boca Brats are growing up and heading off to college. But of course these girls are finding the college life “too hard.” Cry babies. I went around campus to find out just how the Boca Brats are taking the difficult transition from a comfy life to the hardships of college. “I just, like, can’t deal with this,” Nyckoal F., a freshman sociology major said. “I never thought, like, the real world would be so, like hard.” Nyckoal has asked that her full name not be disclosed out of embarrassment for what she, and many other girls, has felt during their her first year of college, and I agreed after she gave me brand new Prada sunglasses. I can’t remember the actual name of the support group so I’ll just call it the Boca Brats Support Group, or BS for short. The group was established this semester to help overly privileged girls deal with the

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hardships that come with attending college. “I mean like, they say college is going to be hard and stuff,” Allyss C., a freshman psychology major said. Allyss probably didn’t know there wouldn’t be any beach clubs or private tennis courts. Concerns were raised last semester from worried parents about how their girls, so used to a more comfortable life at home, would make it through their time at college. “A lot of these girls come to college and, like, no one’s told them what to expect,” says sophomore Pari[z] H., who’s also a guidance counselor for incoming Boca Brats. My guess is no one told them that they’d have to pick up after themselves or actually walk to class instead of taking their private golf carts. “Pari[z] is like the best guidance counselor,” Nyckoal commented in a heavy Valley girl accent. “If it wasn’t for her I wouldn’t have made it through my first semester.” Yeah, because she’d be a hot mess every night, and not in the good Continued on page 10



Continued from page 8

What Boca Brats really think. Kind of: I took a survey from all the girls in the support group and asked them what they thought was the hardest part of college. I lost the exact numbers but I’m sure it was somewhere around this:

Not living at home Waking up for class Going to class Eating gross school food “Where’s my Gucci?” way. BS started as a way to help girls­­— who are obviously used to getting everything they want in life ­— acclimate to dorm life and classes. Last semester, it was estimated by some study I read in a magazine somewhere that 87 percent (or maybe it was less than that) of Boca Brats left FAU to return home. “Yeah, like, Stephany just like couldn’t handle it,” says Sharpay E., freshman business major and roommate of Stephany (yes, with a “y”). “She couldn’t get used to waking early every day for class.” Please, it’s called Starbucks. Everyone else does it. You can too. The girls meet on a daily basis in a location they asked me not to disclose in exchange for a Tiffany & Co. necklace. At their super secret location, the Boca Brats come and share stories as well as help others get through tough classes. I didn’t see it but I know they bring their pretty little Prada bags to hug for support.

Rules Broken

24%

76% 58%

12% 11%

“There are always a lot of tears,” Pariz says. These girls better be careful not to ruin their dry-clean-only clothes. “Like, I remember my first meeting,” Sharpay recalls. “I had just had a really hard day. I was, like, late for class and then forgot my homework so the teacher yelled at me.” I bet he yelled at her because she sounds just like a Kardashian, and not the good looking one. The support group has grown in numbers as more girls, Boca Brats or whatever, become aware that there is help for them in college. “As the support group grows larger, we hope to move into, like, a larger location or something,” Pariz says. “Somewhere where the girls can feel more comfortable.” Watch out Baldwin House. I wouldn’t be surprised if the Boca Brats try to take over that place, thinking they own everything.

• Avoid stereotyping by race, gender, age, religion, ethnicity, geography, sexual orientation, disability, physical appearance or social status • Examine their own cultural values and avoid imposing those values on others. • Refuse gifts, favors, fees, free travel and special treatment, and shun secondary employment, political involvement, public office and service in community organizations if they compromise journalistic integrity. • Test the accuracy of information from all sources and exercise care to avoid inadvertent error. Deliberate distortion is never permissible. 10

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March 25, 2014


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DIE OWLS, DIE! By Jamie Vaughn Features Editor Photos by Max Jackson

Former Student Body President Peter Amirato has been hunting and killing owls on campus in a crazed fit of rage.

T

he room is dark and smells of rotting animals that hang on the otherwise blank walls. The only other person in the room is sitting in an armchair, hidden in the shadows, stroking the furry corpse that lies in his lap. “So I like to kill things. I shouldn’t be fired for the things I do in my spare time,” says Peter Amirato, former student body president of FAU. “FAU has an abundance of owls, all I was doing was helping with population control.” The UP recently reported that Amirato was kicked out of office early for having a low grade point average, but was this just a convenient lie to cover up a horrible crime? After some undercover (and probably illegal) reporting by some unnamed staff members, the UP discovered the truth behind the lies. We snuck into Amirato’s apartment pretending to be janitors and found a special room of his apartment he calls the “red room of pain.” Amirato has been going around the Boca Raton campus dressed in camouflage and armed with a bow and arrow, stalking the campus owl life. He stalks the campus in order to find and torture owls who he eventually kills. Then he hangs the corpses on his wall. We figured that he was not kicked out of office for a low GPA, but instead for his immoral hobby of hunting the burrowing owls on campus. According to this guy who says he’s the head of

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Continued on page 14


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There will be a new man at the helm of FAU Basketball next season, and the resignation of Mike Jarvis is welcome news to many of his former players p. 16 FRIDAY, MARCH 28

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Continued from page 12

Student Government, Amirato is obsessed with owls of every kind, even going so far as to sleep with the animal carcasses. The UP was going to reach out to administration about the real reason behind Amirato’s dismissal, but we went out for lunch instead. Amirato declined to answer as to when exactly he started this habit, so we decided to turn his name over to People for Ethical Treatment of Animals without his knowledge. “FAU administration is full of liars, thieves, and hypocrites,” Amirato said, right before PETA showed up with the police. “Why am I being punished for my personal habits when they aren’t?” The UP isn’t interested in this story anymore because we were turned off by the horrible, rotten animal smell so we refused to further investigate the matter or find out what happened to Amirato after he was carried off in handcuffs. For more information on this story, don’t visit the Upressonline.com. You could try calling the county jails, though.

FAU has an abundance of owls, all I was doing was helping with population control.

Former Student Body President Peter Amirato

CODES BROKEN: — Avoid undercover or other surreptitious methods of gathering information except when traditional open methods will not yield information vital to the public. Use of such methods should be explained as part of the story — Diligently seek out subjects of news stories to give them the opportunity to respond to allegations of wrongdoing. — Test the accuracy of information from all sources and exercise care to avoid inadvertent error. Deliberate distortion is never permissible. 14

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Catching a Man: Hook, Line and Sinker My very original dating advice that every college girl should know to attract and keep a man. By Jamie Vaugh Features Editor

L

iving in a four-bedroom apartment on campus comes with a lot more than what’s written in the FAU housing contract (you know, the one none of us ever actually read). The Department of Housing and Residential Life conveniently forgets to mention the lack of personal space, nonexistent bathroom time and that one really annoying roommate that eats everyone’s food. But the biggest thing not written in those rambling, useless contracts is the fact that you will now have three clingy and annoying girls (because most girls are) who will undoubtedly come to you for advice on everything – especially guy problems (because guys are always doing something to mess up their relationships due to their stupidity). It seems like everytime I walk into my apartment at least one of my roommates is ranting about her boyfriend and his latest mishap. So here is a little how-to guide I came up with after searching through hundreds of relationship books and doing lots of Googling and Wikipediaing. Oh, and watching lots of “Maury” and “Jerry Springer.” This is the best advice I have to offer for any girl in need of relationship help (especially my super needy, uber annoying roommates).

HOW I ATTRACT MEN (AND KEEP THEM): My Original How-To Guide for Young Women Everywhere Written By Me I know you want it – the thing that makes me – what the guys go crazy for. They lose their minds, the way I wind, I think it’s time. La la-la la la, warm it up. Lala-lalala, the boys are waiting. My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and they’re like, it’s better than yours. Damn right, it’s better than yours. I can teach you but I have to charge. I can see you’re on it – you want me to teach these techniques that freaks these boys. It can’t be bought. Just know thieves get caught – watch if you’re smart. Oh, once you get involved, everyone will look this way, so you must maintain your charm. Same time maintain your halo. Just get the perfect blend, plus what you have within. Then next his eyes are squint, then he’s picked up your scent.

Illustration by Laura May Jockers

Codes Broken • Never plagiarize • Diligently seek out the subjects of new stories to give them the opportunity to respond to allegations of wrongdoing. • Avoid stereotyping by race, gender, age, religion, ethnicity, geography, sexual orientation, disability, physical appearance, or social status. • Identify sources whenever feasible. The public is entitled to as much information as possible on sources’ reliability. • Test the accuracy of information from all sources and exercise care to avoid inadvertent error. Deliberate distortion is never permissible. 18

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FAU President Says

“Weed

Is Awesome ”

Everyone says marijuana helps with studying and helps teachers teach. Read what FAU’s president thinks. By Andrew Fraieli Science Editor eed is awesome, want everyone supports its use, even the to know why? Well ask gardening club. I heard them the your local pot dealer – other day saying how they “grow he’ll tell you all the reasons why it’s weeds all the time and spend a lot of awesome. time pulling them up and throwing Ask the president of the school them into a bag [to sell].” They said John Kelly too. He’s the one that said something about flowers too but so at a recent conference, though I that’s unimportant. can’t quite remember which one. The One of the best advantages of pot is pot dealer who gave me a massive that it helps you see things in a clearer amount of weed and gave me the light. It helps you see through all the idea for this article says it’s awesome evil plans and smoke and mirrors of too! Odd that he gave me so much the school’s leaders. According to the for free though and just wanted me Marijuana Is Amazing Science Facility to write this article. That’s already on campus, weed can not only make two people. you live longer but it increases your Nine out of 10 doctors say that intelligence by 100 IQ points! marijuana is good for you as well. That The MIASF is super nice, too. They 10th doctor mysteriously disappeared even offered me a gram of weed just before an interview could be made to include them in this article. about why he disagrees. Weed is super cheap and affordable. Weed is completely legal as well! The Working a minimum wage job? government says it isn’t, but they are No problem! Weed is only 10 cents just hiding the truth. They are afraid a gram, at least that’s what my of what would happen if everyone professor says. Pot is so common saw through their evil schemes. I got nowadays that you don’t even get an interview with President Kelly in trouble or arrested for smoking where he voiced his opinion on weed in public, especially in front of the and its use on campus. Administration building. “Marijuana is very healthy and Weed is a wonderful drug that helps very useful for learning better and students focus on school work and becoming more active,” Kelly said, or get good grades. It helps professors at least I think it was Kelly. I don’t teach too. know, I was high. “Why, I do five Everyone should smoke weed, marijuanas every day, it’s actually so do your part and help your allowed on campus but we aren’t community. Buy weed from your supposed to tell anyone.” local small business entrepreneur and Marijuana is wonderful and almost spread the good news.

W

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CODES BROKEN: - Test the accuracy of information from all sources and exercise care to avoid inadvertent error. Deliberate distortion is never permissible. - Distinguish between advocacy and news reporting. Analysis and commentary should be labeled and not misrepresent fact or context. - Refuse gifts, favors, fees, free travel and special treatment, and shun secondary employment, political involvement, public office and service in community organizations if they compromise journalistic integrity.


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Kellie Lewis-Jay’s personality is more than capable of handling the volatility of the men’s basketball team. Photo by Ryan Murphy

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a Woman’s Touch? Roughly half the age of former men’s coach Mike Jarvis, Kellie Lewis-Jay may be able to connect with the young men in a way that Jarvis could not.

M

By Wesley Wright Sports Editor

aybe FAU basketball needs a woman to bring the program back to a semblance of respectability. Mike Jarvis certainly didn’t do the program any favors, managing just one winning season during his sixyear tenure with FAU men’s basketball. Kellie Lewis-Jay, head coach of FAU women’s basketball, led her team to a 16-14 overall record in her second year at the helm. She could have had a few more wins if her best player, center Chenise Miller, had not missed the final 17 games of her senior year. During her first year, the team suffered through a 12-17 season, but Lewis-Jay seems to have the women’s team headed in the right direction. Jarvis, on the other hand, resigned from his head coaching position after three consecutive losing seasons, the most recent ending in an awful seven game skid. Athletic Director Pat Chun can now bring in a man (or woman) of his choice to replace him. But there is a catch: Chun must work with a stringent athletics budget. He told the UP a few months back that the entire FAU athletics budget was around $24 million, part of which goes to financing the on-campus football stadium. Having Lewis-Jay coach both basketball teams could save the department money. What better way for Chun to make an impact in the athletic department than by selecting one coach for both teams? After all, she is already in tune with the area. Chun just might be the kind of guy who can convince a woman to take the job using his charm, if nothing else. “Pat was always running behind a girl or two,” said his first grade teacher, whose name I forgot. “Even early in his life, he had a way with words.” “Sure, I’d be cool with it,” said six year old Danny Glover, who I met at a Starbucks not too long ago. “Why can’t women do anything men can do? My mom says that they can do anything.” Continued on page 26 March 25, 2014

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Continued from page 25

Sources who spoke against the possibility of a woman coaching grown men were all ignored. I spoke to one woman, Michelle Willis, who asked not be named. Willis knows Chun from her time at Ohio State – Chun was at Ohio State for five years before taking the AD job at FAU. She knows he is unafraid to make a splash. “Pat is a fearless guy,” she said. “If he believes in you, he will give you a shot. That goes even if you’re black, white, purple, orange or whatever. Here in Columbus, we respect him for that.” FAU Athletics, who paid me $250 in return for my insertion of this comment into my story, provided a similar sentiment. “Mr. Chun is a valued part of the athletics program, and we trust him to pick the right man or woman for the job. He will use his full discretion in finding the person he feels is the right fit for the basketball program.” Notice that a particular sex was not specified in their statement. Kellie Lewis-Jay spent her college years playing for the Boise State Broncos. Idaho was one of very few states initially receptive to the women’s suffrage movement, and was also the birthplace of Eliza Hart Spalding, a woman who was integral in the founding of what would later become the Pacific Northwest. Perhaps it is time for Lewis-Jay, a California native and former Placer High

School valedictorian, to blaze her own trail right into the coaching ranks of Division 1 Men’s Basketball. After all, men are coaching more and more women’s basketball teams. One C-USA coach told me that soon, female coaches could very well be the minority in women’s college basketball in as quickly as a decade or two. “We’re taking over,” he said. “Here’s the beautiful thing: they can’t even come over and coach men. Or at least they think they can’t, which is just about the same thing. They don’t even apply for the men’s jobs. Keep that off the record.” Why not have a woman coach men? There is no evidence that says a woman in modern America would have issues coaching college-age men, but there is no evidence saying that she would not either. FAU men’s basketball seems to be an ideal spot for a woman to try and find her feet coaching men. There is very little pressure on her to begin with, and even if she failed, the program can’t get much worse anyway. I happen to think that Lewis-Jay would do a solid job. As a woman, she is naturally sensitive and soft and all that stuff we men don’t care about — perhaps the players would react better to that type of treatment in lieu of piercing insults and curse words spewed by Jarvis. Some studies that aren’t important enough to name say women are much more

adept than men at developing emotional relationships. That dynamic may keep more players in the men’s program - eight players transferred in the past two offseasons. The clerk at the Shell gas station LewisJay frequents when in Boise thinks that she could really be a solid coach at this level due to the warmth of her personality. “Kellie is always happy when she comes

- A Coach in my station. She is bothered at times by the prices of the actual gas, but she has always been polite to me,” he said. “I think she can carry that over to a job coaching young men. Young male college athletes are like bad gasoline: They are volatile, they are high maintenance and they will disappoint you. Kellie has the personality to handle all that.”

• Identify sources whenever feasible. The public is entitled to as much information as possible on sources’ reliability. • Refuse gifts, favors, fees, free travel and special treatment, and shun secondary employment, political involvement, public office and service in community organizations if they compromise journalistic integrity. • Support the open exchange of views, even views they find repugnant. • Admit mistakes and correct them promptly. • Always question sources’ motives before promising anonymity. Clarify conditions attached to any promise made in exchange for information. Keep promises.

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If you need accommodations to fully participate in this event please contact Jenna English a Jenglis7@fau.edu or TTY Relay Station . 1-800-955-8770. Please contact 4 business days prior to the event.


Pat Chun: Husband, Father,

Drug Abuser?

athletic director CHUN is facing vicious public rumors in just his second year on the job. He has a responsibility to come clean if he has used illegal drugs, for his own sake and for the sake of his employer. By Wesley Wright Sports Editor

T

urns out that Athletic Director Patrick Chun has a shade or two of Carl Pelini in him. Pelini was relieved of his head football coaching duties this past November after implications of marijuana use, but it turns out that Pelini (and defensive coordinator Pete Rekstis) were not the only people in the athletic department connected to illegal drugs. According to this one guy I know, Chun was spotted at an EDM event in early March 2013 where he ingested bath salts. He also smoked marijuana and reportedly smoked with Pelini on a regular basis. When the news of their private session(s) leaked, Chun threw the former football coach under the bus. “I wouldn’t be surprised,” said former Athletic Director Craig Angelos when asked if he thought Chun was really doing drugs. “In his position, there is a lot of stress. America is heading towards legalizing marijuana anyway. Good ol’ Pat, always ahead of the curve.” Angelos knows firsthand how stressful the AD job can be. He was fired in 2011 after an eight and a half year tenure, despite securing the funds for an on-campus football stadium and overseeing the FAU football move to Division 1. “The school let me go too quickly,” Angelos said. “I did a commendable job there, if I may say so myself. Drug use, at least, was never connected to my name. How embarrassing.” If Chun was indeed using bath salts, and if he did smoke pot with the former football coach, it calls into question the legitimacy not only of Chun himself, but of the entire athletics department.

[Name redacted], Chun’s agent and trusted confidant, unsurprisingly defended his client versus the accusations. In exchange for a small fee, he exclusively provided me with the following information. “Mr. Chun is putting together a program where he will go to the Broward County Boys & Girls Club and speak to underprivileged children every so often,” he said. “This is not an effort to save face on behalf of myself, Chun or Florida Atlantic University.” Chun is two years into his first job as an athletic director. Having his position undermined this way is no doubt an issue, and allegations this serious must be addressed. The trouble is that FAU is ushering in a new university president, John Kelly, who did not hire Chun and already has enough on his plate. Kelly can level with the inherited AD in this aspect because Kelly was also a bit of a user, though it was decades back. “College was a crazy time,” he said. “You guys can understand that. I have no idea what bath salts are, but I know I was smoking pot and all that. Maybe Chun is dealing with something. He’ll get it right eventually, most do.” The bigger issue is that Pelini lost his job behind drug use, and his boss may have been replicating the same actions the entire time. Chun needs to address this publicly before the (supposed) rumors spiral out of control, or risk looking like a ridiculous hypocrite. “Make no mistake, he does need to squash this stuff. He can’t afford to let it swirl around. I hope the university realizes that if I was still there, Photo illustrations by Brendon Lies

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this wouldn’t be going down,” said Angelos. “Then again, I hear they are under the direction of a new president, so all bets are off. Who knows if he would have kept me around? Either way, both men need to clean their acts up.” The last calendar year was an extremely rough one for Florida Atlantic, who was in the media for several stories that gave the university unwanted publicity. More of the same will do no good for the school. “We have no knowledge of Mr. Chun engaging in any illegal activity, regarding drugs or otherwise,” said Chun’s former employer, the athletic department of Ohio State University. Perhaps the bath salt use is purely a South Florida issue. Last year, there was a bath salt craze in Miami and the surrounding area(s) – one man even allegedly ate the face of another human being while under the influence of the drug. These guys in the FAU gym said they saw Chun running through the gym one time without clothes on trying bite people — an obvious side effect of years of bath salt abuse. A man whose name I forgot tells me there is a side to Chun that only a few know and that this side may contribute to the supposed drug use. “Big Pat has a wild side,” he said. “I know him from our childhood - we both grew up in Cleveland. Great father, great husband, all around great guy. If you catch him on the right day, though, he can definitely get into some real mischief.” Chun expects every Owl athlete to keep foreign substances out of their bodies and he needs to be doing the same. If he has slipped up a time or two, the first step to rectifying that problem is acknowledging that it happened. He owes his employer that much.

Codes Broken: - Test the accuracy of information from all sources and exercise care to avoid inadvertent error. Deliberate distortion is never permissible. - Diligently seek out subjects of news stories to give them the opportunity to respond to allegations of wrongdoing. - Identify sources whenever feasible. The public is entitled to as much information as possible on sources’ reliability. - Never distort the content of news photos or video. Image enhancement for technical clarity is always permissible. Label montages and photo illustrations. - Refuse gifts, favors, fees, free travel and special treatment, and shun secondary employment, political involvement, public office and service in community organizations if they compromise journalistic integrity. - Show good taste. Avoid pandering to lurid curiosity. March 25, 2014

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March 10 - April 30, 2014 Sign your contract and select your on-campus room through HousingOnline on MyFAU. More information regarding on campus housing and the room selection process can be found at www.fau.edu/housing/roomselection/index.php If you have any questions please contact us at (561) 297-2880 or at housing@fau.edu.


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