College Tribune: issue 11 by Simon

Volume 21 / Issue 11

Siren

15th April 2008

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Underground Battles Religions THIS WEEK IN

Exclusive interview: Page 6

Interviews: Page 10

Hanafin dismisses funding plea ■ Brady: extra funding needed for universities ■ Minister: no more money available Minister for Education and Science Mary Hanafin has stated that Ireland’s current economic situation does not allow for increased funding to the third level sector. The minister’s comments come in the wake of a plea for additional funding by UCD President Hugh Brady. In an exclusive interview with the College Tribune, the Minister stated: “I don’t know about a crisis, but I can understand them looking for more money. Equally though, we have a stiffer economic situation so there isn’t more money available. As it is Higher Education is costing €2bn this year.” In a joint statement with Trinity College Provost John Hegarty, Brady claimed that

■ Jennifer Bray

the third level sector was approaching a possible crisis if funding from the government was not increased. According to the two presidents, “What we cannot afford to do as a nation is to collectively bury our heads in the sand.” They further state, “As university leaders intent on delivering both quality and quantity in the face of intense international competition, we must ask the question: can we as a society agree that there is a funding deficit at third level that needs to be addressed urgently in the national interest? Virtually every recent review of the third-

level sector has concluded that there is a major funding deficit by comparison with relevant international competitors. If we all agree on this, the debate on finding a solution can then begin.” Brady and Hegarty concluded their joint statement by declaring that, “Investment in education is not a tap which can be turned on or off as circumstances require without long-term impact. Failure to invest now will place an entire generation of students and the future of this country at a serious disadvantage. To gamble with our future in this way is, simply, wrong.” ■ For the full interview, see Page Five

"I've been called a bastard countless times" Librocop speaks

: Page 12

NEWS

College Tribune

15th April 2008

Miss UCD branded a ‘sexist farce' ■ Jennifer Bray

Editor Caitrina Cody Deputy & Features Editor Colin Gleeson Design Editor Simon Ward News Editor Jennifer Bray Sports Editor Jordan Daly Health & Fashion Editor Cathy Buckmaster Arts Editor Cian Taaffe Music Editor Lorcan Archer Contributors: Aoife Ryan, Owen O'Loughlin, Niall Fox, James Geogheghan, Barra O'Fianail, Eoin Brophy, Eoin Glynn, Brian Byrne, Bryan Devlin, Ben Blake, Eoin Boyle, Lisa Towell, Fiona Redmond, Sebastian Clare, Sophie O'Higgins, Sophie O'Hegarty, Adam Watts, Suzanne O'Reilly, Hannah Kousbroek, Max Harding, Dermot Looney, Karen O'Connell, Eoin Mac Aodha, Brendan Purcell, Pete Mahon Special Thanks To: Stephen & Billy @ Spectator Newspapers, Eilis O'Brien, Dominic Martella, A&B, Michael & Denise Cody.

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The Miss UCD competition organised by the UCD Students’ Union (SU) Ents Oﬃce has come under ﬁre from students who claim that the event is sexist towards women because it chooses the winner on the basis of physical appearance. A group of UCD students are set to take action against the upcoming beauty pageant. According to the organiser of the protest, student Elisa O’Donovan, the event is a “sexist farce”. An alternative Miss UCD competition has been organized by the dissenting students that will take place on the same night of the Ents event, in which one UCD student will be crowned Miss UCD and go on to compete in Miss Ireland. O’Donovan has approached the SU in an effort to stop the event being organised. “They said it was a harm-

less bit of fun and they were going to continue with it. They tried to justify it by saying it was all for charity”. The proceeds from the pageant are going to the Primary Immunodeficiency Association.

According to O’Donovan, the discriminative nature of the competition is the main reason for her opposition. “The Miss UCD competition bans all mothers, wives and women under five feet and four inches from entering.

This sort of competition encourages the idea that women should be seen as sex objects to be judged by men , as well as making women believe that to be desirable they have to conform to unrealistic types of beauty.” SU Ents Officer Steven Quinlivan has responded to the attacks by pointing to the results of a recent Students’ Union council meeting. “This was brought up in SU council, when a motion against the running of this event was proposed some time ago. It was debated upon widely by a number of people including myself and including those in opposition and the motion was defeated.” Quinlivan further states that as far as he is concerned, the event will take place as planned. “With the support of the student legislative body I presumed it was ok to go ahead with it. If Elisa O’Donovon has gone on from there, she’s going against the democratic decision of the Students Union. The event will continue as planned.”

Vote of no confidence in Women's Officer Current UCD Students’ Union (SU) Women’s Officer Aisling O’Connor faces a vote of no confidence a er failing to organise any campaigns and to attend SU council meetings this semester. The motion was seconded by the SU Campaigns and Communications President Ciara Brennan. According to Brennan, the decision to support the motion was not an easy one to take. “I seconded this proposal, so I know how important it is and what it stands for. However, it was not an easy decision and nobody took any enjoyment from it at all. It is very disappointing and unfortunate that it has come to this.” O‘Connor has reportedly proven difficult to contact during her year in charge of the office and according to Brennan, “She has been given every

■ Aoife Ryan

chance to redeem herself, so this is not a personal attack. “The Women’s Week Campaign was postponed from week two to week nine but obviously this again did not work out. As the only female sabbatical officer, I feel there is a particular onus on me to justify the existence of the position, and her inactivity is not doing so,” stated Brennan. The Women’s Officer is mandated to run a campaign during her time in office to highlight the issues that affect female students in UCD. Human Sciences Masters Class Representative Mary O’Flynn, who last year ran for the position

against O’Connor, confirmed that there haven’t been any female-orientated campaigns during the year. “Women aren’t highly involved in the SU as it is and those who contested the position believed it to be a very important role. Now that nothing has happened this year to further the cause of women’s liberation I feel very disappointed that I couldn’t have had the job myself. “Aisling basically did nothing and never turned up for meetings, which is just unfair because if you’re that busy you still have the option to resign. Any officer that doesn’t fulfil the mandate is letting the students down. It is a er all the students who pay for us. ” Aisling O’Connor was unavailable for comment at the time of going to print.

THE GAUGE

How are you feeling about the upcoming examinations? Final year commerce Roma Kelly I’m in my ﬁnal year so its continuous assessment and so not that much pressure, I haven’t started studying properly yet so its stressing me out give me too weeks!

Thomas Donohoe Final year actuary I’m coping with the semesterisation, half and half, I suppose it’s a bit easier because you only have to do ﬁve or six weeks study, as opposed to the whole year

Miybi MatsuhiroAccess to arts and human sciences I’m doing ok, I’ve got two weeks to go, last week I concentrated on essays so it’s only today I’ve started to properly study.

Tom CooneyArts politics and economics, 3rd year I’m coping grand, I’m working away trying to get to the gym and keeping sane, but I’m getting the work done.

Teresa McGrath, rd Civil Engineering, 3 year I’m a little stressed, but hopefully it’ll ok, I’ve started with the work. I’ve haven’t made study plans-no one sticks to them!

5th year medicine, Thomas Drew I don’t have many exams; I have an exam at the end of every rotation as I’m in medicine so I’m getting on just ﬁne!

NEWS

College Tribune

15th April 2008

Pro-life event snubbed The screening of award-winning ﬁlm Bella by pro-life group Ultrasound fell through last Thursday evening when the Film Society withdrew their support for the event. Ultrasound, the self-proclaimed “student-branch of Youth Defence”, branded the cancellation of the event as “intolerant (to pro-life views)” and “an aﬀront to free speech”. Youth Defence is a pro-life organisation that has been accused of using violent tactics and intimidation to promote their views in the past. When contacted by the College Tribune, a spokesperson refuted such allegations, declaring, “Ultrasound is not a ‘front’ for Youth Defence; it is the student branch of it. “Youth Defence have no history of ‘violent outbursts’. Such accusations could be classed as slander and defa-

■ Colin Gleeson mation. I’m sure you’re aware that a Youth Defence member was recently awarded damages and a printed apology in a court case for similar accusations made.” The College Tribune understands that the screening of the ﬁlm was organised by a member of the Newman Society in conjunction with Ultrasound, under the name of the Film Society. The auditor of the Film Society, Beatrice Ní Bhroin, explained, “We were asked to help promote a ﬁlm by a student. As soon as we found out that there were things going on that we didn’t know about – we pulled our support.” Ní Bhroin went on to say that the Film Society had no knowledge of in-

volvement from either the Newman Society or Ultrasound in the event. “I had no dealings with Ultrasound. “The only person I was dealing with was the student from the Newman Society and we didn’t even know he was part of that society. When we found out that we were supposed to be doing this with other people (Ultrasound), we pulled out. “We did that because we weren’t informed about the other parties. We didn’t even book the room, but it was all done under our name. He came to me and said, ‘I’ve booked all that’, but I didn’t even know that it was under our name.” The spokesperson for Ultrasound said that “(he’d) heard posters had been ripped down” and aimed these allegations at “pro-abortion people”. He proclaimed, “This was a society event; it was arranged by the New-

man Society. Ultrasound has been working with various societies/organisations to promote Bella.” The proposed screening of the ﬁlm had been met with criticism in some circles, which the spokesperson went on to address, “Are they really so close-minded that they won’t even allow a ﬁlm to be shown, for fear that people might be confronted with something pro-life? “Other colleges have welcomed Bella onto the campus. UCD have a long history of trying to silence the pro-life message, which is an affront to free speech. They have once again shown how intolerant they are, which is not good for their public image.” Sean Ra er, the auditor of the Newman Society, was unavailable for comment at the time of going to print.

■ Bella: The film Ultrasound were promoting

Minister agrees to accommodation task force Minister for the Environment has made a promise to the UCD Students’ Union (SU) that he will establish an accommodation task force by the 30th of April. The pledge comes a er months of wavering on the issue, with the Minister claiming that the task force was in fact the responsibility of Minister for Education Mary Hanafin. In March 2008, students staged a sleep-out outside the premises of Gormley’s constituency office in Dublin, in an effort to alert him to the serious need for a team dedicated to investigating the accommodation needs of students. This task force will hopefully prevent a repeat of last September’s accommodation crisis, when UCD students were plunged into chaos with some students homeless for short periods of time. UCD SU President Barry Colfer emphasised that Gormley’s statement, which was received last weekend, heralds a significant move forward for students. “He has finally taken responsibility for the setting up of this much-needed task force and stopped passing it back to the Minister for Education. It’s the first time in a long time that a student action has actually led anywhere. We staged that demonstration at his office, saying ‘We’re going to sit here until you take the problem seriously,’ and it seems that he finally has.” The task force will assess the existing situation with a few towards finding a resolution. It will examine the Dublin property market and look at the examples of other countries in order to provide third ■ John Gormley: Taking responsibility

■ Caitrina Cody level students with affordable accommodation when the need arises once again in September of this year. Colfer further added, “There were a lot of members of the Green Party involved in the student movement and I think that might have gotten back to the Green Party, that this situation could potentially become awkward and embarrassing for them. Ultimately, this step is not going to solve the problem straight away but it’s an excellent start.” Gormley has been informed by the SU that further action will be taken at his constituency office unless the task force is in place by the end of April. “Unless we have facts and figures about this task force by the end of April, and whether there will be adequate student representation on the force, there will be more action. He’s agreed to that and has told us that all the boxes will be ticked by that date.”

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NEWS

College Tribune

15th April 2008

Brady pays tribute to Bertie Ahern UCD President Hugh Brady termed outgoing Taoiseach Bertie Ahern ‘a global Dub’ during a speech he made at a lecture given by Ahern in UCD a fortnight ago. Brady was referring to Ahern’s personal style and international achievements when he made the comments during his introductory oration. Ahern gave the lecture, entitled ““From Conﬂict to Consensus - the Legacy of the Good Friday Agreement” in the UCD Institute of British and Irish Studies, the day a er he announced his retirement avs Taoiseach on the 6th of May. According to Brady Ahern always retained the common touch by combin-

■ Caitrina Cody ing the local and the global, the personal and the political. The UCD President recalled seeing him perform as a global leader during a trade mission to China. ‘I remember distinctly the Taoiseach addressing a packed auditorium at Fudan University in Shanghai, and one enthralled interpreter saying to me ‘He is so charismatic – he is like Clinton’! Brady concluded by describing the Taoiseach as a man of peace and of vision. ‘A man who walked with Kings but, emphatically, never lost the common touch, a man who combines the best of global leader and true Dub.’

Registration Fee ‘covering UCD deficit' ■ Jennifer Bray A portion of the annual Registration Fee, paid by all students of the college at the beginning of the year, is being used to cover the university funding deﬁcit, according to an anonymous source within the UCD Fees and Grants Department. The Student Service Fee is paid by students at the start of each year upon registration, and the money should be allocated towards student services such as exams, health and counselling. Last year, the Service Fee was increased to €800 per student in UCD. For the 13,135 students paying the fee, over €10.5mn was amassed by the college. However, according to the source, €3.5mn was subsequently deducted from this amount in order to compensate for a ‘reduction in grants by the Higher Education Authority (HEA),’ leaving UCD’s total income at €6.6mn. According to a note on the conﬁdential document seen by the College Tribune that details the breakdown of the fee, the reduction stems from ‘a HEA letter dated the 5th of November 2002, which

notiﬁes the university of the reduction in funding.’ Last year, the annual cost of studentrelated facilities amounted to almost €15mn. These facilities include the Careers Oﬃce, the Health Service, sports

and recreational facilities, capitation and other grants, Examinations Oﬃce expenses, space expenses associated with student facilities, and costs relating to registration, fees, admissions and records.

NEWS

College Tribune

15th April 2008

Hanafin: the end of an era? In an exclusive interview with the College Tribune, Minister for Education Mary Hanafin talks to Jennifer Bray about UCD, her own ministerial position, and explains why institutes might be better off just staying institutes With the recent announcement of Taoiseach Bertie Ahern’s resignation, Education Minister Mary Hanafin may be coming to the end of her tenure as head of the department. She is reflective about what the future holds for her, and there is a definite sense that she has enjoyed her job. “I would be very happy to stay in the role of Minister for Education. I wish that decision was mine but it is entirely in the hands of Brian Cowen. I love education and enjoy every day of it. “The best aspect of being the Minister for Education is getting to visit all of the different educational institutes whether it is the Conway institute in UCD, or the UCDSU, or all the primary schools. It is being out and about that I love the most.” Hanafin is optimistic about the structural changes that have happened in recent years in UCD. “I think that UCD is going down the right road because modularisation is the way universities are going internationally. The Strategic Innovation Fund will hopefully encourage universities to update and to make sure they are including students. Very brave decisions have to be taken at university level to break down hundreds of years of practice and tradition, but I think they are doing it very successfully. The former Irish and History teacher praised the introduction of the Horizons system in UCD. “I particularly like Horizons, the way it allows people the opportunity to dabble in areas outside of their discipline. UCD has recently come under fire over claims of the University being more like a business. According to Hanafin undergraduate students should remain a top priority. “The government is putting a lot of emphasis on science technology and development research, whereas I personally would always place as much value on the undergraduate experience and the humanities. It is for that reason I didn’t amalgamate the research council for humanities into the research council for the sciences because I was afraid that humanities would lose out. “A university should never be a business but at the same time it should always be run efficiently. There’s very high expectation from students that they will be getting a high quality education, so we need to ensure that we’re getting maximum efficiency for everyone.” The Strategic Innovation Fund, the new college entry system to medicine courses and the €58mn funding package for the refurbishment of research facilities are just some of the initiatives pushed through by Hanafin during her time in office. She reflects on the demanding nature of her role down the years. “There have been

a number of difficult initiatives at all levels of education, but probably the most complicated were at third level. It was the changing of entry into medicine which took forever to agree to because there were so many processes to go through, from government through to academic councils and then to the presidents of the colleges. It was a very tedious process, but at the end of the day the students are going to benefit from the improved graduate and undergraduate entry.” Waterford Institute of Technology’s (WIT) struggle for university status could have more of an impact on third level education and on universities like UCD than is guessed at, stated Hanafin. “As a minister I have to look at the nation-

al picture and to ensure we have the type of collaboration and co-operation which is expected of us internationally. WIT is making a very good regional argument. “However, it also has to be looked at in the context of academic matters. I have to ask what would be the impact on other universities and the other institutes. One of the impacts would be the diluting of resources. Just because you get extra colleges you don’t get extra money, particularly in tightening economic circumstances.” The minister went on to praise the good work of the Students’ Union here in UCD. “I was very impressed with the SU. They are clearly very concerned with all matters regarding students and their welfare, they were well up to date and they could give me their views on legislation. They were very interested in the national picture as well as the issues aﬀecting UCD, which I was very impressed with. They are an easy group to work with.”

We have lift off

Hundreds of students gathered at the lake to celebrate the launch of the PleaseTalk campaign last week

Chinese students don't report racist abuse According to a report carried out by UCD academics, four in every ﬁve Chinese students in Ireland say they have experienced racist abuse while living here, but don’t report it because they believe it would be pointless. The large-scale study of mainland Chinese students in Ireland, carried out by academics at UCD and Queen’s University Belfast, paints a bleak picture of their life in Ireland, with ﬁnancial pressure, poor English, a lack of knowledge of public bodies and feelings of isolation and loneliness all emerging as common concerns. While a large majority (79 percent) of students had experienced racist abuse and 42 percent were concerned by racism, most thought it was “useless to report crime to police because their own

■ Jason Timmons experience or that of Chinese they knew le them with the view that the police wouldn’t care about their cases”, according to the authors, Dr Richard O’Leary of Queen’s and Dr Lan Li of UCD. While knowledge about Irish legal, medical and policing systems was very low among respondents, another reason not to approach oﬃcials was a concern over immigration status, which was cited by more than half of respondents. This fear has intensiﬁed since the rules on student visa renewal were tightened in 2005. Ireland’s Chinese students are predominantly young, well educated and urban. Of some 300 students surveyed and interviewed by researchers, almost

half had primary degrees from China and the other half were educated to secondary school level. Three-quarters were aged between 23 and 27, while a large majority (89 percent) were from urban China. Some 60 percent came from Liaoning province in the northeast of the country, while ﬁ een percent came from Fujian in the south. The report was commissioned jointly by the Church of Ireland’s Dublin University Far Eastern Mission (DUFEM) and the China Educational and Cultural Liaison Committee, a Catholic organisation. Its respondents were mainly English-language students, who are believed to be the largest cohort of Chinese in Ireland. It found that almost all Chinese students are working as well as studying.

While most work alongside colleagues from Ireland and overseas, four-fi hs (84 percent) live with only Chinese housemates and 83 percent report that all their friends are Chinese. The “language barrier” was listed as the main concern by 58 percent of students, even though nearly half of them were studying English. Most interviewees described the strain of adapting to the Irish culture, remarking on the difficulties in establishing close relationships with Irish people and reporting feelings of isolation and loneliness. Financial difficulties also arise, and one language school student told researchers that “selling jobs” was common among some Chinese. On average the students surveyed had

been in Ireland for three years. Asked about future plans, only 21 percent said they intended to go home directly a er their studies. Almost half (44 percent) plan to gain further work experience in Ireland after their studies and before returning to China. The other third either plan to stay in Ireland (ﬁ een percent) or don’t know (seventeen percent). Commenting on the ﬁndings, the Rev Patrick Comerford of DUFEM said it called for a generous response from all churches. “We need to be more welcoming, we need to be aware of needs and differences, and we need to be aware of opportunities for practical help, advice and support. And we need to ask whether we need full-time Chinese clergy to work in Ireland.”

NEWS

College Tribune

15th April 2008

OPINION

Political absolutism in UCD As the college year draws to a close, Dr Gerard Casey shares his reflections on the structural changes made in UCD and explains that too many cooks spoil the broth Rumours are circulating that the powers that be in UCD are contemplating another round of organisational reconstruction. Rumour, it has been said, is a lying jade and one can only hope that in this case she is lying through her teeth. Who, having suffered through the last three or so years of reconstruction, would willingly embrace any aspect of this process again? Who in his right mind at least? Reverberations from the last reconstructions are still echoing around Belfield. These are obvious not only in the idiosyncratic modular system (which may be linked to a spectacularly precipitous decline in lecture attendance not only in Arts and Human Sciences but in Science and Engineering), the clunky modular IT systems, the unresolved matter of the relationship of UCD’s Institutes to its Schools, the University’s precarious financial position (anything to do with the cost of consultants and special offscale salaries?) and the continuing problem of the coherent administration of multi-subject schools. To justify the last reconstruction it was argued that there were too many Departments and Centres. That was probably correct but this complexity was horizontal not vertical. Vertically, the organisational structure of the uni-

versity was simple, and exhibited the four-level structure of most functioning organisations. Departments had grown up organically around subjects/professors and Faculties had emerged to organise the subjects comprising the degree in, for example, Arts, Science, Engineering, etc. We had rank and file members of staff within Departments, Heads of Departments, Deans (of Faculties), and the President. This is the classic four-level structure as exemplified by the Catholic Church (people, Priests, Bishops, and Pope), armies (privates, NCOs, junior officers, senior officers) and most business organisations (floor workers, supervisors, middle management, senior management). Heads of Department existed to mediate the collegial teaching of a given subject, not to manage anyone or anything; Deans kept an eye on the coherence of the structure of degree offerings and, somewhat more recently, on financial matters, while the President kept a collegial eye over all from his eyrie in the Administration Building. What have we got now? Has anyone ever seen an organisational chart of UCD? How does it function? Who does what, and to whom? We have fewer elements horizontally but we have a much

■ Angry: Gerard Casey more complex vertical structure. These include President, Vice-Presidents (for Academic Aﬀairs, Capital and Commercial Development, Development, Innovation, Research, Students, Staﬀ, University Relations ), Principals, Deputy Principals, Vice-Principals, Dv-

vvirectors of Graduate Schools, Deans (of Agriculture, Architecture, Arts, Business, Engineering, Law, Medicine, Nursing, Science, Social Science, Veterinary Medicine); Heads of Subject; Heads of Section, Heads of Research, Heads of Teaching and Learning, Programme Managers, and Uncle Tom Cobley and all. The multiple and overlapping functions are reminiscent of the policy apparently employed by Hitler in his Third Reich to prevent any of his subordinates from amassing too much power and constituting a possible challenge to his authority though there, as here, that policy may be a function of accident rather than design. Europe in the 17th century witnessed a move towards political absolutism. All over the Continent, there was an attack on the power of the traditional estates and an ever-increasing assumption of power by kings supported by the ideology of the Divine Right of kings to rule absolutely. (The resemblance between 17th Century France and 21st Century UCD has not gone unnoticed - as one wag put it, somewhat unkindly, “Hughie XIV; L’UCD—c’est moi.”.) What we have seen in UCD recently (and in the university sector as a whole) is a move towards absolutism and (un)democratic centralism animated

by a romantic and touching belief in the power of central planning, a belief undiminished by evidence of its catastrophic failure everywhere else it has been tried: central planning didn’t work in the USSR, in the German Democratic Republic and other Soviet Satellites—it doesn’t work now in China, in the Health Service Executive and it doesn’t work in the Universities. The Mercator Report of last year (does anybody remember the Mercator Report?) indicated a widespread discontent among UCD staff and students. What one experiences in discussions among members of staff is a continuing resentment coupled with a fatalistic resignation and functional disengagement. If any new organisational changes are to be made then they should aim at a restoration of some measure of bottom-up participative decision-making that will allow staff to reengage with their subjects and their students. Any attempt at further ‘rationalisation’ or centralisation along the lines of what we have already had visited upon us is a consummation devoutly not to be wished.

Dr Gerard Casey is a Senior Lecturer in the Philosophy Department and a member of the UCD Governing Authority

From armed robberies to tea by the lake Much has changed over the past four years in UCD, writes departing student Colin Gleeson, who remembers some of the good old days from his time in Belfield There are students sitting on the steps that lead downward to the podium of the theatre. There is a solitary figure peering up at the crowded doorways from the front. He raises his hand and motions for somebody to pull closed the doors. A hushed silence is dragged out of the babbling cacophony, and students are sitting upright, hemmed in against one another. Soon, there is furious note-taking. Some time later, the babbling returns as students begin to file out of the hall. This student ambles out of a jampacked Theatre L and makes his way to the concourse. It too, is black with people. A er making a go of trying to find something, anything, to do, he retires to the library to begin work on an essay that isn’t due for about two months. The passage of time is a funny thing. What was once a sanctuary from the chaotic hubbub of the concourse has become a place synonymous with feeling hard-done-by. A er four years in UCD, Belfield has become less a place

of trying to fit in, and more a place of juggling work with play. This student has seen many changes during his four years. He can remember writing an article about modularisation in UCD for this newspaper during his early days of First Year. The college today remains the same enigma that it was back then. It’s funny to think that the only real constant over the past four years has been the screaming and shouting about the road that the university has gone down – and the college’s unwavering conviction that this is the way things must be. Much has changed, but never that. As days went by and the seasons changed, so did UCD. Involvement in the student media meant exposure to the workings of the college and the community of the town of Belfield. This student can remember racing down to the restaurant a er news filtered in that a Securicor Van had been held up by men with semi-automatic handguns in the Restaurant. He can remember snapping photo-

graphs of the crime-scene and having to tell Special Branch Gardai that they had no right to conﬁscate the camera – freedom of the press and all that. He can remember ﬁre engines descending on the library a er a blaze in the Short-Loan Collection. He can remember watching a student leap from his second-storey apartment window in Belgrove a er celebrat-

ing UCD’s 150 year anniversary with 150 shots of beer in 150 minutes. They don’t make them like that no more. Gone too are the days of ideological warfare within the ranks of the Students’ Union. The past four years have seen many a tear shed in the Astra Hall. This student can remember watching opposing Sabbatical Election candidates send volleys of insults across the

hall at each other. When all was said and done on that particular occasion, the campus was engulfed in a snowy blizzard that descended on Belﬁeld – shrouding the paths of both the winners and the losers – providing an apt analogy of what their futures held. Nowadays, the sparring of opposing ideologies, the broken dreams, and the tearful speeches seem a thing of the past for the Students’ Union – but maybe it’s better for it. It’s far less complicated these days. Sitting now on the damp, wooden bench by the lake, this student is warming his hands on the cup he is grasping as he drinks tea and passes the time with casual conversation about the aﬀairs of the day and lingering thoughts of days gone by. The lights under the fountains have come on and the sun is sinking in the sky. Looks like it’s time to go.

Colin Gleeson is a Final Year student and a former editor of the College Tribune

NEWS EDITORIAL

College Tribune

13th November 4th March 2007 2008

LETTERS

Box 74, Student Centre & LG 18, Newman Building, Dublin 4 Telephone: 01 - 7168501 E-mail: collegetribune@gmail.com

The College Tribune reserves the right to edit all letters. The views expressed on this page are the views of the letter writers and do not reﬂect the views of the College Tribune.

Letter from the editor

As is traditional with the last edition of the College Tribune, I would like to take this opportunity to thank all the people who have been a part of this newspaper and who have made the entire endeavour possible this year. I would like to pay tribute to the editorial team, who have each played such integral roles in the newspaper, and whose very different personalities and perspectives have helped to form the identity of the College Tribune for the year that we have been at its helm. Thank you to Cian Taaffe, Jordan Daly, Cathy Buckmaster, Philip Connolly, Jennifer Bray, Lorcan Archer, Simon Ward and Colin Gleeson; all individuals whose level of commitment has been unrelenting and whose love for the newspaper has been obvious in everything they have done this year. Simon Ward has been a presence in this newspaper ever since our days in first year, and my thanks go to him for his patience and skill, and for his dedication to the long hours required.

None of it would have been possible without the support of my Deputy Editor Colin Gleeson, who has inspired me with his love for the College Tribune on countless occasions. Everything that I have learned about student journalism I have learned from him and I’d like to thank him for his invaluable help and advice with everything we have gone through this year. Many thanks go to each of the contributors who so gladly gave of their time this year despite so many other commitments; they are the rock upon which this newspaper is founded and I would encourage each and every one of them to stay involved next year. My regards also go to each of our many columnists throughout the year, who were so generous with their time also. Editors emeritus Peter Lahiff, Fergus O’Shea, Dan McDonnell and Eoin Mac Aodha have been on hand to offer advice and articles throughout the year and I have felt all the more confident knowing that their weight of experience and ad-

vice has been behind me. Thanks especially to Michael and Denise Cody who deserve a mention for all their help and words of wisdom; their tolerance in times of pressure has been incredible. I would like to thank Stephen Foster and the rest of the team at Spectator Newspapers for their unwavering patience and also Dominic Martella and Eilis O’Brien in Communications for their help. Last but not least, I would like to thank each and every person who picked up a copy of the College Tribune over the year to take a look at it. My involvement has been a life-changing experience and I would like to end my year in the hope that we made a diﬀerence, and explored some issues that were worth exploring.

It’s been interesting. Many thanks, Caitrina Cody

MAKE THE PAPER Applications are invited for: Deputy Editor:

Arts Editor:

The Deputy Editor will be expected to deputise for the Editor whenever they may be unavailable. He or she will be responsible for working with the Editor to ensure the smooth running of the newspaper and will be expected to read all articles to ensure a high standard. He or she will also be required to attend production weekends every second week, where there could be highly unsociable working hours.

Charged with the maintenance of a section that will include books and film. Will be expected to ensure that there is at least one book review and four film reviews in every edition of the paper. Will be expected to ensure that there is a small selection of theatre reviews and café/restaurant reviews in the section over the year. Also must ensure that are sufficient interviews and features throughout the section.

Advertising Manager:

Sports Editor:

The advertising manager will be responsible for seeking advertisements to fund the newspaper. It is a position that would be incredibly beneﬁcial to anybody looking to follow Marketing as a career path. This will involve part-time work during the summer and throughout the academic year. The work entailed can be carried out from the College Tribune oﬃce where all phone calls will be paid for.

Responsible for organising the Sports Section. This involves researching upcoming events and matches while liaising with the Sports Oﬃce. Also expected to obtain suﬃcient interviews, while compiling sports features and news.

Design Team: Knowledge of Quark/Adobe Indesign is beneﬁcial but full training will be provided. The Design Editor will be responsible for designing the newspaper. It is a position that would be extremely advantageous to anyone interested in a career in Graphic Design. The College Tribune has won awards in the past for Layout and Design and the work would provide excellent experience in this area. All interested applications are encouraged.

News Editor: Responsible for researching, delegating and structuring the news section in conjunction with the Editor. The News Editor should be curious about the college and the way it functions. It will be necessary to investigate and explore all potential news stories, and to prepare a bank of smaller stories in the case of a bigger story falling through. It will also be essential for the News Editor to attend Student Union Council every week.

Features Editor: The Features Editor is charged with devising and suggesting original and innovative articles. Is required to research articles and talk to the relevant people when writing articles. Regular meetings with contributors are also a critical component of the Features section.

Music Editor: Responsible for distributing albums for review, obtaining interviews and compiling interesting features in the section. Will work in conjunction with the relevant record companies.

Health and Fashion Editor: Charged with providing the section with new and interesting health and fashion articles for every issue of the newspaper. An interest in fashion would be helpful. Topics should be related to students.

Photo Editor: Responsible for obtaining photographs for the newspaper. Will be expected to work in conjunction with the Design Editor. The College Tribune would also welcome anybody who wishes to take photographs. This is an excellent opportunity for candidates to build a portfolio and gain excellent experience.

The Editorial Team is a crucial component of the paper and all members will be expected to attend fortnightly Editorial meetings. All positions provide excellent experience and portfolio opportunities. The College Tribune is a proven stepping-stone towards a career in journalism and the national press. All members will be in charge of ﬁlling the pages of their respective section and will be expected to voice an opinion on all sections of the paper in order to ensure progression. Candidates interested in all positions should send their applications, which should include a short proposal of ideas they have for their position plus an attached portfolio of previous work to the address below, or alternatively drop into the College Tribune Oﬃce beside the Trap in the basement of the Arts Block. Closing date for all applications is Friday June 6th at 5pm. All applicants will be interviewed. Caitrina Cody Mailbox 74 Students Centre

Accommodation taskforce John Gormley’s pledge to deliver his long-awaited task force on student accommodation must be acknowledged as a significant step in the right direction. Last September, this newspaper spoke to students in desperation, students forced to sleep in their cars due to a lack of available accommodation. Landlords were evicting students on the basis of their status as students, and many of these were people already existing on government grants. This task force will hopefully play an instrumental role in establishing what’s out there, in terms of affordable places to live and should also seek to protect the rights of students. Let us hope that we can avoid the scenario of last August and September, when the SU Accommodation Officer was inundated with requests for help. There is time now over the summer months to put in place strategies to cope with the volume of students that descend on this city to attend college. Students are entitled to a clean and affordable living space, something that can greatly impact on the emotional state of students, especially those living away from home for the first time. Gormley’s shouldering of the responsibility for this task heralds a new era of accountability, an era when students will hopefully be able to expect to have an organisational structure that they can apply to when in times of need.

Racial discrimination The news that four out of five Chinese students have been the target of racial discrimination in Ireland is of grave concern to this newspaper. Of equal concern is the fact that these students feel that to draw attention to this problem would be pointless. It is sobering to think of students suffering from discrimination and financial pressures, with poor levels of English, feeling lonely and helpless about their plight. Many have le their families behind in China and face the prospect of returning home only intermittently during their stay in Ireland. Experiencing racial abuse is traumatic for all students, but especially for students lacking the essential tools to report it and see the problem dealt with. In a week which saw the publicity launch of the Please Talk campaign, when hundreds of balloons were released into the sky beside the lake, it is especially to remember all parts of our college community and to realise that it is so important to look for help if you feel lonely or isolated. International students should be encouraged to seek help from their SU International Student representative, and to this end, perhaps posters in different languages could be distributed around campus to advertise the various options open to those less fluent in English. As the year draws to a close, let us hope that students from all walks of life and cultures can feel part of the vibrant community here in UCD.

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College Tribune

15th April 2008

The parties that made a difference in Northern Ireland The Good Friday Agreement, signed on the 10th of April 1998, has brought levels of peace and stability to Northern Ireland that would have seemed unimaginable just a few years before. For the ﬁrst time in recent history, there are

generations of Irish people being born on an island at peace. The ups and downs that were part and parcel of the peace process meant huge personal and political risks were taken en route. There were casualties

and the Ulster Unionist Party and the SDLP were two of them. At the time of the agreement, both parties held the majority voice of their respective communities, but have since lost that mandate.

The current leader of the Ulster Unionist Party, Sir Reg Empey, and the current leader of the SDLP, Mark Durkan, speak to James Geoghegan about how their parties brokered the historic Good Friday Agreement ten years ago.

Sir Reg Empey The Ulster Unionist Party

What do you see as the most significant impact that the signing of the Good Friday Agreement has had?

The restoration of economic growth – albeit at a slower rate than we would like – but it certainly is a starting point for a recovery. There are 100,000 more people in work today than there were ten years ago, so I think that’s one very obvious thing. There has been a restoration of investor conﬁdence. If you look around the city, you can see major changes in the physical environment. Obviously, it has helped consolidate peace, but I regard the whole thing as work in progress, because its full potential is not being realised. Queens University recently ran a survey, which showed that Catholics had done better than their Protestant counterparts in terms of education and employment since the agreement. Why do you think this difference exists?

I think there’s no doubt that it’s very clear that loyalist communities have been slowest to gain advantage, and I think part of that problem has been that there is insufficient communitybased capacity in those areas. There has been a consistent underinvestment in the community sector of those areas for a long time, and if you look at the distribution of moneys over a long period of years, that’s fairly obvious. There are a series of educational issues as well, and also the fact that the profile of the population is different, insofar as there has been a very strong likelihood that people in loyalist areas would have been brought up working in engineering and other manufacturing sectors. As a result of global economic changes, those sectors have been weakened over the years because of competition from the Far East and so on. Do you think that the Good Friday Agreement has changed the relationship that people living in Northern Ireland have with their southern neighbours? I don’t think that it’s had a huge difference. We have technical links through the institutions, and

■ The SLDP’s Mark Durkan (left), with Bertie Ahern

■ Reg Empey (left)

those are working away. There are quite a few local government connections and there are quite a few formal connections through the North-South ministerial council, and of course I think it’s fair to say there is a growing amount of trade, but it’s a still at a relatively low level. I suspect that there is a long way to go, but I think economic forces there are likely to be more signiﬁcant, and I think you will see and hear about growing numbers of links in the coming days. But they will be very much on a commercial basis, and I think that at the end of the day, they will be much stronger for that.

tution make visibly demonstrable signs that that is the case. I think it has restored a degree of normality to the relationship which was otherwise poisoned for many years from 1937 by the unilateral action of de Valera in those days, and I think that was a very negative development. I think relationships would have been a lot broader and deeper had that 1937 constitution not been enacted.

signiﬁcant levels of underachievement in Northern Ireland in general, but showing up in a particularly marked way in some Protestant working class areas. I believe that some of that points to the inequity of the eleven plus system, but bizarrely it is Unionist parties who defend the socially unjust and educationally unsound system of academic selection at eleven. We have to ensure that we deliver equality to all of the children in our society.

Mark Durkan The SDLP

The former leader of the Ulster Unionist Party David Trimble famously said after the signing of the agreement that the ‘union is stronger now than when we sat down’. Ten years on, do you

What do you see as the most significant impact that the signing of the Good Friday Agreement has had?

Do you think that the Good Friday Agreement has changed the relationship that people living in Northern Ireland have with their southern neighbours?

think that this is an accurate reflection of the state of Northern Ireland? I think that is widely recognised. Even the Taoiseach has made his points on that. I think we have a mechanism in place now where it’s in the hands of the local people here and no backroom deals can be done on it. I think it is as strong as we want to make it, but I’m satisﬁed that the framework nationally recognises that, and the changes in the Irish consti-

Stability and the conﬁrmation that we could tackle important social and economic challenges through shared institutions have been the most signiﬁcant impacts that the

agreement has had. Queens University recently ran a survey, which showed that Catholics had done better than their Protestant counterparts in terms of education and employment since the agreement. Why do you think this difference exists? Well first of all, the research that makes those findings is not necessarily saying that it is all directly as a result of the agreement. We need to be very careful when people say that this research shows that the agreement is benefiting some and disadvantaging others. It is not. The fact is that the Good Friday Agreement houses key principles for equality in its provisions. In educational terms, there have been

I think the Good Friday Agreement literally brought the people together in an important fact of democratic expression in the joint referendum that endorsed the agreement. This is the ﬁrst generation of Irish people that have endorsed a political dispensation in a way that allows people to give conﬁdence to each other. It has created a situation that recruits a sensitive source of legitimacy for Unionists, which is a majority of Northern Ireland, and also endorses a sensitive source of legitimacy for Nationalists, which is the majority of people in the

island. We have actually achieved a situation where two great traditions are now supporting each other rather than undermining each other, which they spent so much of history doing.

The former leader of the Ulster Unionist Party David Trimble famously said after the signing of the agreement that the ‘union is stronger now than when we sat down’. Ten years on, do you think that this is an accurate reflection of the state of Northern Ireland? No, I don’t think it is, but what the Unionist Party was trying to do was to give conﬁdence to Unionists. The fact is, I want Unionists to feel as strongly Unionist as they want to feel. That’s the strength of the agreement, and the way in which we negotiated it at the time, and indeed the way we created the joint referendum to endorse it. Unionists could look at it in a certain light and see certain features that attracted them. Nationalists could look on it in another light and see features that attracted them, but the fact is, both were mutually reinforcing, which meant that their allegiance by each tradition could be fully involved in, and belong in, the institutions of the agreement. The issue about your choice between a United Ireland and a United Kingdom will be le to a referendum for the people to decide. That is the principle of consensus that the SDLP always stood for. It might be the case that Unionists feel that the stability we now have means that Nationalists will lose their appetite for a United Ireland. I don’t think that’s right, but we’ll see, just as those of us who believe that a settled process, where we are able to work together on the island, will mean that Unionists will lose their aversion to a United Ireland. That diﬀerence between us does not render us politically dysfunctional anymore.

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College Tribune

15th April 2008

Changing lives on both sides of the divide A youth from the Nationalist stronghold of West Belfast, and a Unionist from South Belfast, speak to Niall Fox about life ten years after the Good Friday Agreement compared to when days were fraught with fear, abuse, and sectarian tensions

The Nationalist Community Cliodhna, who grew up in the Nationalist stronghold of West Belfast, remembers life prior to the signing of the Good Friday agreement. “I was twelve when the Good Friday Agreement was signed, and I’ve seen big changes. The Brits are not patrolling our areas any more. Because I was brought up in a republican family, both my parents were in jail and we were subjected to a very bigoted police force, and our house was constantly being raided. “As a child, I always felt as if I was being watched. The Brits would spit at you and taunt you. In the a ermath of the agreement, the watchtowers began to come down; I finally felt there was some freedom.” Whilst she has seen tangible improvements in the last ten years, Cliodhna is quick to stress that sectarianism is still prevalent. “I now live at an interface in North Belfast, and the residents are terrified that the long evenings are coming, because ten years on, the PSNI are failing to properly police nationalist areas. “Whilst the Good Friday Agreement established a police ombudsman and policing board, they are simply not there. It is community workers controlling the interfaces where hostilities are flaring up.” She recalls the notorious and depraved images of the young Catholic children being harassed and intimidated on their way to the Holy Cross Primary school. “Innocent young children were going to school; their human right to be educated; and grown men and women were showing them pornographic images and throwing urine over them. It was an absolute disgrace.” The issue of parades in the North is still a particularly thorny one, Cliodhna explains, “I don’t understand why the unionists parade through our areas. I have no problem with them parading in their own areas, but when they parade in nationalist areas, it’s all about triumphalism. We have our own Easter parades but we would never go near a unionist area.” Cliodhna would disagree that the Catholic community in Northern Ireland have done better out of the Good Friday agreement in terms of social provision. “We don’t even have a leisure centre in North Belfast. I have to go to Ballysillan, a strongly loyalist area, to take my young son swimming, or to the Shankill Road, but I refuse to go there due to intimida-

tion. Whilst she believes that the IRA is gone for good, she has witnessed an innocent fi een-year-old boy in her own community murdered by loyalist paramilitary gangs. She explains that while she does not live near a peace-wall, she wouldn’t object to one being erected, as she does not feel safe living so close to a Unionist area. The Good Friday Agreement has helped the cause of a united Ireland, she believes. “I now feel more part of a united Ireland. I tried so many times when I was younger to get an Irish passport and was continually refused. Then within two weeks of the agreement, I had one. I think we are now closer to a united Ireland than ever.” However, the promises to promote the Irish language to obtain official status have been reneged upon, explains Cliodhna, “Unfortunately the Irish language is still being neglected and discriminated against. “The DUP are reluctant to bring in an Irish Language Act. They try to politicise it, but it has been around for thousands of years. I don’t understand how it has been an objective of the agreement, and commitment was given to support the language, yet it is still being discriminated against.” As for the future, Cliodhna believes that the flags must disappear if tensions between communities are to be eased. “The flags must go. We have our murals to do with our history, the famine and the hunger strikers; but I would like to see all paramilitary flags and murals be removed from the streets.” As for the current DUP/Sinn Fein administration presiding over the next generation in Northern Ireland politics, she believes that while she was originally sceptical about the idea, she now welcomes such a momentous move. “It’s phenomenal that Ian Paisley, who once said ‘Never, never, never’, is now working with Sinn Fein in a power-sharing executive. I had my doubts, originally about this strange ‘chuckle-brothers’ notion, but I think everyone has just had enough. “We’ve seen enough people on our streets dying, and I don’t want my child to grow up with the experiences I had in my childhood. I really think both sides want to move on, they probably want different things but I believe they do want to work together for peace.”

The Unionist Community Ben, a young trainee teacher, comes from a unionist area of South Belfast. Having witnessed the changes brought about by the Good Friday Agreement, he recalls the eﬀect this agreement has had on his life. “When I was younger,” he begins, “I remember the IRA bombs going oﬀ in Belfast. That is my earliest memory as a child.” He explains that this haunting memory is no longer the reality and that the bombs appear to be consigned to history. However, whilst there is no longer

the threat of bombings, sectarianism is still rife. “Sectarianism is everywhere. You can tell by the colours painted on the kerb stones of an area, and the ﬂags hanging from the houses, whether you are in a loyalist or republican area.” He explains how streets bedecked with Tricolours or Union Jacks can be very intimidating for members of the opposite community; a visual sign that sectarianism is still extremely prevalent. “It is intimidating - I would be wary walking down the Nationalist Falls

Road area, the heartland of modern day Republicanism. Whatever political viewpoint you come from, you say to yourself, this is not normal – no other society is like us. “The paramilitaries that have thwarted the peace process in the north for decades now are still alive and well unfortunately. It will take decades of healing for the stereotypes and the opposing views to go away – they won’t disappear overnight. “It doesn’t matter whether there was a Good Friday agreement or not in that respect, because Loyalists and Republicanism still exist, they just don’t have as big an impact, or as widespread support as they had previously.” Ben talks about the political objectives, “They have shi ed away from tribal politics to the bread and butter issues. Our economy is so weak and infrastructure is so bad, that we are now trying to put Northern Ireland back on the map for positive reasons rather than terrorist reasons.” The ironically titled ‘peace-walls’, which barricade interfaces in the North, have recently seen a new addition. The 47th peace-wall in Northern Ireland was erected on land used for a playground of an integrated primary

school in North Belfast. “This move does represent a step backwards, but ﬁrst we need to look at the problems at a grassroots level, before these walls can be removed. As time passes, hopefully the walls will begin to disappear from the landscape, but this will not happen overnight.” As a young teacher, Ben feels that the implementation of integrated education for all is a necessary prerequisite to ending sectarianism. “If kids grow up with sectarian views, it’s going to stick

“No one wants to see us go back to the 30 years of terrorism. Family members have died for their cause and nothing was achieved” with them. When I’m out on teaching practice, moving from one school to the next, you notice immediately whether the school is Protestant or Catholic and it shouldn’t be this way.” He believes that schools should not be run by the church. “Schooling is not

about religion, so I don’t understand why the churches should have such involvement within education. Yes, there will be conflicts of interests, but children are there to learn – irrespective of their religion.” Ben is of the view that in spite of problems along the way, Northern Ireland will never return to the times of the Troubles. That chapter is closed for good. “No one wants to see us go back to the 30 years of terrorism. Family members have died for their cause and nothing was achieved. “The IRA set out on a terrorist campaign that failed, and now Sinn Fein is in government. That shows that violence doesn’t work. Martin McGuiness and Ian Paisley have finally realised that the only way for Northern Ireland to move forward is to go into government together – a big move a er saying, ‘Never, never, never’ for over 30 years. Whilst Ben has seen vast improvements since the implementation of the Good Friday agreement, he is keen to stress that whilst there is relative peace on the streets, it will take some time yet for Northern Ireland to fully shake off the heavy chains of history. “The Good Friday agreement does not mean everyone will suddenly hold hands,” he concludes philosophically.

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College Tribune

15th April 2008

Science versus Christian Science Owen O’Loughlin visits the Church of Christian Science to learn a little about the religion that preaches faith over the use of medicine Situated on Hebert Park road in exclusive Ballsbridge, the Church of Christian Science looks remarkably out of place in this area of Dublin. At ﬁrst glance, one might mistake it for one of the many exclusive multimillion euro properties that line the road, as the building does not stand out from its neighbours. Upon further inspection, one can see details of the service – times for Sunday School, a reading room and Prayer services. However, this is by no means an ordinary Church. The Church was founded in 1870 in Boston, Massachusetts by Mary Baker Eddy, a woman who had been plagued throughout her life by ill health. While recovering from an injury, Eddy turned to the Bible and miraculously recovered. From Boston, where she began preaching, the group later travelled across America, and now has over a hundred thousand members in over 60 countries worldwide. The group describes itself as a ‘healing and educational system’. Members of the Church of Christian Science believe that the world around us is purely spiritual and holds anything outside that as an illusion. This “material world” around us is simply an illusion which can be altered through the process of prayer. Christian Scientists believe that moving closer to ‘God’s spiritual reality’ will result in ‘healing’. Key to this belief, the Church believes that medi-

■ Mary Baker Eddy cal ailments are simply the result of sin or ignorance. Alarmingly, members don’t avail of medical treatments such as drugs or surgery, but rather opt for this ‘healing process’. While members are not obliged to abstain from medical treatments, they generally avoid mixing the two – believing that they counteract or contradict each other. According to the Christian Science healing process, incorrect belief, when corrected, will make the illness disappear. This is labelled ‘faith healing’ by the group. The Church upholds that prayer works through love, and that their ‘faith healing’ operates in the same way that Jesus healed according to the Bible. According to the Christian Science belief, there are no limits to the type of

medical conditions that can be healed through prayer. The group’s website and newspaper contains the testimony of various individuals who have supposedly been healed by the Church’s method. Medical practitioners and the scientific community dismiss Christian Science as a religion. One study in the United States found that the Christian Science death rate from cancer was double the national average. The group’s abstention from medical treatment has drawn particular attention in the past when it comes to children. In the United States, this has caused great controversy amongst law makers, with several unsuccessful cases involving charges of child abuse and neglect brought against the church. The Church has been classified as a cult by some Christian theologians. Eddy laid out her beliefs in ‘Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures’, which remains a key text for the group. The group has also been dismissed by theologians for regarding the Bible as having symbolic rather than literal meaning. Moreover, the group’s claims of ‘faith healing’ extend so far as to believe that death and ageing can be overcome with the defeat of sin. In walking away from the Dublin branch of the Church upon reflection, it becomes clear just how much the Church stands out from the everyday religions of modern Ireland.

An all-embracing path Pastor Douglas McCormac of the Seventh Day Adventist Church speaks to Caitrina Cody about the importance of individual choice when choosing one’s religious path in life For Pastor Douglas McCormac, religion is an essential part of his lifestyle. As a Seventh Day Adventist, he abstains from drinking alcohol and smoking tobacco, does not believe in sex before marriage and is a strict vegetarian. “We encourage our members not to eat meat and to take their health seriously. The Daily Mail ran an article about ten ways to live longer, and one of them was to become a Seventh Day Adventist. Our Church has the highest number of members who live to over the age of a hundred. One of our members in California, a doctor, was performing three heart surgeries a week at the age of ninety-four. He put it down to his beliefs and his lifestyle as a vegan. The Bible calls the body the temple of the spirit and we take that quite literally. The Seventh Day Adventist has a congregation of 1000 members in Ireland and is set apart from other Protestant religions by their observance of the Sabbath on Saturday. The Church encourages their members to stay away from alcohol and to concentrate on ﬁnding other ways of having fun. “We don’t drink and we don’t smoke. We wouldn’t be part of anything that is potentially addictive and that

could lead to behaviour outside one’s control. There are certain beneﬁts to alcohol when it’s taken in moderation I suppose but the reality is that it can become an addiction. “I go to pubs, that’s not a problem for me, and I don’t feel like I miss out on anything. Staying away from alcohol doesn’t stop me from having fun.” According to McCormac, religion should be all-embracing and shouldn’t stop once members have attended mass. “Religion must be part of your lifestyle. Our scripture speaks to us on three levels, which are the physical, the spiritual and the mental. We believe that the whole person is important, so it’s not just about going to church; it’s how you live your life. So Christianity should inform every aspect of your life, how you work and how you play.” The Seventh Day Adventist Church believes passionately in the return of Jesus. “The Adventist part of the name of our Church indicates our belief in the return of Christ, who will do away with all evil and restore the Earth as it should have been before the Fall of Men.” Described by the Pastor as “very conservative”, the Seventh Day Adventist Church mem-

bers refrain from working on Saturdays, and from certain recreational activities such as watching competitive sports. “What sets us apart from other religions is that we worship on a Saturday, hence the whole Seven Day thing. We believe in the Biblical Sabbath and we keep it holy. During the week we spend time at Bible study classes, but there’s no strict regimen of prayer.” The concept of individual choice is crucial to Seventh Day Adventists. “Nobody is born into the Seventh Day Adventist Church. Our worldwide membership totals 15 million, and these are all baptised adults. We believe that when you become twelve or thirteen, it is the right time to study the Bible and to make an individual choice about religion. It’s only when a person understands and makes the choice for themselves that they are baptised.” McCormac emphasises that it is important to really think about the reasons for joining the religion before doing so. “I think it makes a huge diﬀerence if people study the teachings of a religion before becoming part of it. It leads to a stronger sense of dedication to spirituality throughout one’s life when it’s the decision of the individual.”

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College Tribune

15th April 2008

All along the Watchtower Jehovah’s Witness Darren Fuller speaks to Philip Connolly about life as a part of the minority religion Most people know of Jehovah’s Witnesses from a knock on the door one evening, a friendly face preaching about their beliefs. “It’s something that’s fundamental to who we are, we just view it as something we do for the community,” remarks Darren Fuller. “More and more people are listening. Maybe with the world as it is now, people are looking for something that their own religion isn’t giving them. Maybe they are asking why the world is the way it is?” Fuller works as a spokesperson for the religion; he speaks with a deep English accent, and is both pleasant and humorous, never ■ Founder: Charles Taze Russel preaching or forcing his views. “Some people choose to shut the members, and any who have either door, but that’s ok, it is their home not been involved in preaching or a er all.” have not submitted reports, are not With only 5,512 members in Ire- included in the reported figures but land, “we are definitely a minor- at the Witnesses’ annual Memorial ity”, but figures have risen in the in 2007 over seventeen million atpast few years, with seven million tended.” Controversy surrounds the fact active members in 236 countries worldwide. Jehovah’s Witnesses that a Jehovah’s Witness will not are led by a Governing Body located accept blood transfusions, even in at the Watchtower Headquarters. emergencies, a belief which has led Fuller explains, “The Govern- to strong opposition from medical ing Body, through the departments communities. The practice of bloodof its various legal organisations, less surgery is used in its place. The directs the operation of the 112 official teaching of Jehovah’s Witbranches throughout the world. nesses regards blood as sacred. Members volunteer to operate Jehovah is the Old Testament these facilities. name for God, one which the Wit“Each branch assigns circuit nesses believe should still be in use. overseers who travel among vari- They view the use of the name as a ous congregations, spending a requirement for true worship. Jeweek with each. Each congregation hovah’s Witnesses view Jehovah as has weekly meetings, o en three, the Supreme Being and creator of in which prayer and song are im- everything in the universe. portant. They believe that Jesus Christ is “The official published member- head of the Christian Congregation, ship statistics only includes those and all must obey him. His role as who have reported preaching activ- mediator of the “new covenant” is ity. Inactive and excommunicated limited to those going to heaven to

rule along with Christ, whose number totals 144,000. They believe that Jesus was executed by being nailed to a ‘torture stake’, as opposed to a cross. He explains, “We believe that there is a difference between ‘Christianity’ and ‘Christendom’. We define Christendom as the part of the world where Christianity prevails – largely, the Western world. As a whole, these nations fail to live by the Bible, thus misrepresenting Christ and his teachings.” They o en cite secular sources in justifying this view, claiming they and they alone practice true Christianity. The Witnesses take a literal and gospel reading of the bible and take it as the basis for all their beliefs. “We believe that a er the death of the apostles, the Church gradually diverged, in a Great Apostasy, from the original teachings of Jesus on several major points.” Influenced by the Restoration period in the 19th century, Charles Taze Russell formed a Bible study group in the 1870s in Pennsylvania; in what they believed to be a return to original Christianity. Originally calling themselves Bible Students, it was a er Russell’s death that various splinter groups arose, that under the leadership of Joseph Franklin Rutherford, those who remained loyal to the Watchtower began calling themselves Jehovah’s Witnesses. “We are all normal people, any door to door work we do is unpaid,” says Fuller, “O en with minority religions, people treat you a little differently, because you are happy to say you’re a little different, but once they get to know you, they realise you are just a normal person.”

Finding a way of life Janmastami Daas of the Hare Krishna faith speaks to Cathy Buckmaster about why vthe religion is about much more than dancing in the street Hare Krishna members are familiar to many of us as those sometimes seen clad in orange robes, singing and chanting in the city centre. However, Janmastami Daas, a member of the Hare Krishna faith, explains that while this is an important part of their religion, there’s a lot more to it. “A lot of people would be aware of the singing and chanting as that’s probably the most visual or auditory thing that we do. It links to one of our most important practices which we have, which is the belief that prayer is hugely important.” He explains the meaning of their

most signiﬁcant hymn; “The Hare Krishna mantra is Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna, Hare Hare. Hare Rama, Hare Rama, Rama Rama, Hare Hare. It is a prayer to God that simply says ‘Please engage me in your loving service. Let me have a relationship with you’. “We believe by saying the name of God, which is Krishna, that it is like invoking God’s presence by prayer. We want to share it with other people, but don’t do recruitment; so all we do is pray publicly and hope that people walking by will get some spiritual beneﬁt from hearing the prayer recited.” Daas also discusses the core be-

liefs of Hare Krishna devotees and its similarities to Christianity. “It’s a monotheistic religion. We’re not a million miles away from Christianity or Judaism, in that we believe in a single loving God.” As for how Krishna Consciousness, as it is known, impacts on your day to day life, Daas explains, “A lot of people associate us with the people on the street who are chanting and singing. That is deﬁnitely a part of it, but there’s obviously a lot more to it. “You won’t ﬁnd any Hare Krishna member becoming involved with anything particularly unethical during our lifetimes; our jobs will al-

ways be in line with out beliefs.” He also explains that there are some limitations for those with Krishna Consciousness. “We have four main principals that we follow, which are called the four Regulative Principles of Freedom. Our goal is to live a very peaceful life, free of anxiety. “One of those principles is to avoid any form of intoxication such as smoking or drugs. This includes caﬀeine which tends to cause slightly higher levels of anxiety and depression. “The other principle is vegetarianism as we don’t believe in causing harm to any living creature. In

FEATURES

College Tribune

15th April 2008

The unsu Name: Eilish Gleeson AKA: ‘Sound Restaurant Cashier'

Place of Work: The Restaurant Where are you from? I’m from Wexford originally – New Ross. What’s your average day like? We start at eleven and finish at about a quarter past seven – it differs. What do you do when you get home in the evening? In the summer or warmer times, I go for walks. I recently got NTL, so I spend some evenings just trying out all the new channels, such as the Discovery Channel, and I watch different programmes. If I was going to watch a film, it would be a thriller sort. What are your hobbies? I collect stamps. I don’t know if they’re valuable – a lot of them come from when I lived in Germany. Other hobbies would include long walks around where I live.

Place of Work: The Library Where are you from? Originally, I’m from Wicklow Town What’s your average day? My average day usually differs, depending on what’s going on around the college. Mostly though, it all depends on what time of the year it is. Obviously, if it’s during the holidays and nobody is around, it’s very quiet and there is a lot less for me to do. On the other hand, if the tests are around the corner, it can become really hectic and jam-packed, so I’ve plenty to do then. My job is all based on health, security and safety, so I busy myself making sure these things are covered. There are always little jobs to do around the library anyway. What do you do when you go home? I mainly just chill out and do the norm surprisingly. I might catch a film or do other relaxing things like sport or listen to music. What’s your favourite film? I know it’s really popular, but I have to say my favourite film is Shawshank redemption. I love most epic movies and biopics too. What do you watch on television? I don’t watch much television except for the occasional episode of That Seventies Show or Two and a Half Men. If I was to watch the TV, it’d some light comedy programme. What are your hobbies?

What do you do with your weekends? I go out for a meal. I try out diﬀerent places and have a drink of red wine while I’m in there. I’m not really mad on going to the pub.

Name: Michael O'Brien AKA: ‘Librocop'

Well I really like outdoor activities and sports. A few of my favourites would be running and golf. What would be your ideal Sunday? I’d get up nice and early and go for a run ﬁrst thing. In the a ernoon I’d play a game of golf and have something light to eat. For the evening I’d just relax and put on a DVD. What’s your favourite kind of music? I‘m a fan of all sorts of music – right across the board. I listen to a lot of jazz in particular, and I like Amy Winehouse – I have her Back to Black album in my car right now. To name a few others, I’m into The Republic (of Loose) and James Blunt. How would you describe yourself? Well I’m everything the students think I’m not – laid back, approachable and just really chilled. What do you hate the most about students? An awful lot of students lack the ability to understand what my job is about. They think I’m there

to give grief and make their life a hassle when all I’m trying to do is give them some space, free from noise, mobiles and other distractions, so they can get on with their work. So many of the ones I have to go over to think oﬀence is the best form of defence, so they just act rude and obnoxious because they hate being pointed out as wrong. I’ve been called a bastard a countless amount of times. Again, it’s probably because I’m on the ﬂoor so much just doing my job. Overall though, I get on well with most students.

What would your ideal Sunday be? I would go away for the weekend and relax. I’d stay in Ireland if the sun was shining. I love Wicklow, so I would deﬁnitely go walking there. I would get up whenever I feel like it and go out

with friends. What kind of music do you like? I don’t like any pop or anything from today. I can’t stand that. I used to love country and western but I’ve gone oﬀ it a little bit. My favorite kind would be Jazz. I love Jazz music. How would you describe yourself? I’m caring and ordinary – a people’s person. I’m also someone who loves holidays. What do you hate about students? I wouldn’t hate anything about students; most are very kind and very polite. The only problem we would ever have is when students come in from the bar in the evening. But if it wasn’t for the students, I wouldn’t be here.

FEATURES

College Tribune

15th April 2008

ung heroes of UCD Ever wondered what Librocop does on the weekends? Jennifer Bray and Aoife Ryan take to the concourse to find out what is going on in the lives of all those faces that we see in UCD everyday, but know nothing about Name: Jules Alexander AKA: ‘Jules'

Name: : Kathleen Berigan AKA: ‘Nice Copi-Print Lady'

Place of Work: Sports Café

Place of Work: Copi-Print

Where are you from? I’m a blow in from Donegal, originally from Antrim. I had a coﬀee shop in Belfast with four partners. They ripped me oﬀ and I came here stone broke and homeless.

Where are you from? I live just outside the college in Milltown, so I can walk to work in the morning.

How would you describe yourself? I would describe myself as bald, sensitive, hard-working, and a hopeless romantic. What do you do when you go home? I read a er I get home from the pub, where I drink Jack Daniels and Heineken. I read trashy crime novels and autobiographies. What are your hobbies? The horses, travelling, and I play tennis. What do you do with your weekends? I try to get in my new jeep and go

driving, and go see my mum and dad in Donegal. I also like to do a bit of gambling (poker and the horses), and sometimes I go to see friends in Kilkenny. What’s your ideal Sunday? I would like to read the papers, and have a big breakfast. Then, it’s on to Sunday lunch in the pub. I like to just take it easy.

do you like? I like all music. It depends on how much Jack Daniels I’ve had sometimes. What do you hate most about students? I love students. I don’t want to alienate anybody. For educated people, they seem a bit backward sometimes.

What kind of music

Place of Work: Nine One One Where are you from? I’m from Krakow in Poland, where cigarettes and drink are cheaper. What’s your average day like? I make sandwiches, rolls, juices, smoothies, and the whole lot. I do everything, any tasks in here right down to the cleaning. I come in sometimes around eleven, sometimes around nine. It’s actually quite tough.

What are your hobbies? I like football, though I don’t follow any particular team. I just watch all teams, and I play it too. I hate things like swimming and

What do you when you go home for the evening? I get my dinner, go for a walk, and I read. I read everything and anything. What are your hobbies? Reading and knitting would certainly be hobbies of mine. What would your ideal Sunday be? I would get up in the morning, have dinner at home, go for a

Name: Kamil Weigiel AKA: ‘Nine One One Guy'

What do you do when you go home for the evening? I sing in my spare time. So, when I go home, I practice some songs and try to make them better. Besides that, I also write songs, as in the words and lyrics. At the moment, I’m working on a few different pieces of music. That’s really it, that’s my regular evening.

What’s your average day like here? It’s busy. I start at nine o’clock and finish around half past five. I do lots of different jobs from serving customers to binding and photocopying.

those kinds of hobbies. What would your ideal weekend be? I don’t know. Maybe I’d get a limo around the place; I’d ideally win a few million and go around in a limo alright. I would prefer to have a big disco all weekend. That would be my ideal weekend. What kind of music do you like? I love hip-hop; I actually love every kind of song and all types

of music. I don’t hate any music. Music is one of my passions. How would you describe yourself? I am carefree and peaceful. I love the world. I am a people’s person. What do you hate about students? I love all of the students. I would say peace to all students. I like this place. It’s full of smart people, and the people here speak my language.

walk in the Wicklow Mountains, and have a drink in the evenings – a vodka and tonic, or if it’s the summer, maybe a Heineken. How would you describe yourself? I’m quiet, calm and relaxed. I can deal with stressful situations. I don’t panic when the students burst into tears, which happens here all the time in the copy room when things don’t go right for them. I calm them down and try to ﬁnd a way to make things work out for them. What would your favorite film be? Forrest Gump. What kind of music do you like? I love all types; I’m big into country music, which they hate at home. I love Oasis – lots of diﬀerent types really – The Celtic Tenors is another one.

REGULARS

College Tribune

15th April 2008

B.A. As the year draws to a close, Eimear Fabulous natters on about her dizzying social life, her brush with a crime-lord and prepares to bid UCD adieu Ok so it was my big 23rd birthday last week and it had to be amazing a er the election fiasco, so I decided to co-ordinate the biggest blow out of the year. Needless to say, Crystal was the location of the night (I don’t care how it’s really spelled, you know, it’s Harcourt Street and not Waterford). It wasn’t quite MTV’s My Super Sweet Sixteen (I have, a er all, been kissed before) but it was quite the funky party. Mirikka with two Ks was back on the best buddy list a er a heart to heart and was co-ordinating the guest list and transportation. Meanwhile I was le orchestrating the entertainment. The big night finally arrived and Mirikka said that she would pick me up from the house at eight. So quarter past eight arrives and I’m totally freaking out, Mirikka is missing in action. My fake eye lashes were falling off and the fake eye lash glue was making my eyes sting and making my make up run off my face. To cap it off TLC were on the radio singing about chasing waterfalls. Suffice to say I’ll be returning to my iPod soon. In the middle of my crisis, the butler (yes, we have a butler) rocks up and says that Miss Mirikka is waiting at the gate lodge in the transport vehicle, which apparently doesn’t fit through the gate. We walked out and what was staring at me in the face, but a Stretch Hummer? And who was sitting in the driver’s seat , but the bloody Monk! I was like, um Mirikka, what the hell is Dublin’s biggest criminal doing driving me to my party? Don’t you know about Dad and the Tribunals – we’re up enough creeks already. Then the bitch gets all defensive on me and is like hello, he’s only allegedly Dublin’s biggest criminal, nothing has been proven.

Jesus, I had to get in, the dude was throwing me the filthiest of looks. We rocked up and got out of there like a hot snot, I was raging at Mirikka, yet again, she messed up my night royally. The party went ok a er the fiasco, I suppose, but she totally ruined it for me. The bitch is getting dropped from my Other Half spot on Bebo and I think I’ll reduce the air kiss count to three, down from four, next time we meet. A er the dust had settled from the big bash, I had to get back to some serious college work. The Miss UCD contest is on this week and I’m totally working the profile. I know I’m going to win, I can feel it in my bones. Meanwhile though, I have to shed a couple of pounds, so I’m reading the latest zone book and am totally yinging and yanging my diet, it’s all about the green vegetables and seafood and good karma. I have one more week in UCD before it’s time to bid adieu to the old alma mater so I know I really have to make the most of it. Can’t wait to see Bewitched on the last day of term – I have my denim one-piece all ready to go. When I am crowned Miss UCD, I will be off to become Miss Ireland, and from there it’s only a hop, skip and a jump to total world domination. UCD has given me a lot over the years, but it’s really gained a lot in compensation. My sparkling wit and gregarious personality have brightened the days of so many people across UCD and I know I will be sorely missed by all. When I am rich(er) and famous, I may even be tempted to return to UCD, probably as a guest of the L&H, or LawSoc, to give the youngsters a chance to learn from my shining example. For a he y fee of course.

Five things I hate about…

LEAVING UCD 5. No sitting by the lake

There is nothing better than sitting by the lake, drinking €1 tea and watching the UCD duck community engage in their various courtships rituals. This is a very important activity and one that should take priority over all other obligations, including lectures and going to the library. Those foolish enough to throw their crusts to the seagulls regularly provide amusement to all other lake-sitters when they become engulfed in clouds of screeching, flapping, ravenous birds. When the sun reflects on the surface of the lake, UCD becomes an unexpectedly beautiful place and college-leavers will have a tear in their eye, forgetting how much they really hate the place and how screwed they are for their exams.

4. No cheap beer and pool

Buying two pints and getting change for a tenner is an experience exclusive to the UCD bars. Students can feel completely

justified going to the bar at all hours of the day, secure in the knowledge that they are definitely getting some bang for their buck. Sure, Fosters may be the Lada of the lager world, but it’s hard to be choosy when you’re getting such a bargain. As for pool, the astronomical prices in pool halls outside of UCD will leave former students nostalgic for the days of the Trap when they could get four games for €3. Sure, the cues are more like hacked-off tree branches sometimes and the tables roll, but those problems pale in comparison when you realise with horror that it’ll cost you €1 for every six minutes in the outside world. Enjoy it while you can.

3. No excuse to do nothing

The real beauty of being a college student lies in the license we receive to be bums for three years. Our top priorities become drinking, going to music festivals and bag-packing in Thailand and all in the name of education. The Irish work force views us with

understandable hostility, jealous of our freedom, freedom that is in part funded by their hard-earned taxes. One answer is for them to give up work and come to UCD as a Mature Student. Picking an Arts subject will ensure minimum hours in the lecture theatres and more hours in the bar, showing off some newly-acquired bullshitting skills.

2. No three month holidays

Listening to real people talk about their holiday plans is a depressing experience for those about to depart from the hallowed halls of UCD. “I managed to save up a total of eight and a half days of holiday time this year by not taking any days off for the last three years. I feel so lucky!” The idea of having to save up holiday years in advance if you want to take a holiday is a sobering thought to students who are used to being able to take trips around the world during the summer. It’s the kind of thought that would prompt you

to take up a Masters degree in an attempt to stave off the inevitable for one more year.

1.The real world

Most importantly, the worst thing about leaving UCD is having to face up to the real world for the first time. The real world of bills, pensions and accountability to employers. Most of us will be forced to get jobs that require us to be up at 6am in the morning, after which we’ll struggle, blearyeyed into work, where we’ll sit in front of a computer for eight hours, sneakily looking up cheap flights when we’re meant to be working on Microsoft Excel. The moral of the story is, appreciate your time here and don’t be in too much of a hurry to escape. You can always hope that you might fail your exams and be back for another round next year. Although, looking on the bright side, it will be nice to book a holiday without having to take out a loan first.

THE TURBINE THE TURBINE

ISSUE XXI ■ VOLUME XIV

IT’S SATIRE, STUPID!

INSIDE AFGHANISTAN TELLS US TO “GET OVER” SEPTEMBER 11TH REPORTS: MCCARTHY CHALLENGED SPANISH TO ‘BEST OF SEVEN’ AFTER WORLD CUP EXIT WORLD BANK CLOSES DOWN AFTER SOCIALIST PETITION BRIAN COWEN MORE CORRUPT THAN AHERN – FINE GAEL SPOKESPERSON: FCUK STILL FUNNY

STILL JUST 31P!

CHURCH SLAMS ANGELUS PLANS RTE were last night in the middle of a row with Church leaders over their decision to rename he Angelus as “A short ﬁlm of people looking mildly distracted” “This thing cost us a fortune to remake and the ratings are still crap,” said one spokesperson for the TV station. “If we are to have any chance of stealing people away form TV3 than we have to spice up this absolute waste of license payers money”. In a further statement, RTE said it would be replacing the peaceful scenes of people looking distracted, such as walking in the park and building stone walls, with footage of people being distracted by more dramatic situations, like a rapid-ﬁre, against-the-clock cow cull or children throwing stones at Eamon Dunphy for charity. “Keep the bastards on the edge of their seats and they’ll be begging for more,” the spokesman added.

TAOISEACH PUBLICLY CRITICISED The whole nation is in profound shock today a er a member of the Labour party publicly criticised the Taoiseach, Bertie Ahern, suggesting that his judgement in certain matters is suspect and that he is not at every instant straining every sinew for the welfare of all the Irish people. “I just think that at times the Taoiseach could do a little more,” said party leader Eamonn Gilmore to a stunned Dail chamber. “And perhaps there’s a case for saying that you don’t have the political career he’s had without ending up a little, you know, compromised.” At this, the Tánaiste, Brian Cowen, broke down and cried, and the Taoiseach Bertie Ahern beat his own breast and cried, “A er all I’ve done for this miserable country!” Cowen then ran across the chamber ﬂoor and grabbed Gilmore by the lapels, yelling “You’re not ﬁt to lick his boots, you insect! INSECT!” The Dail was adjourned until Tuesday.

ENFORCEMENT OF LAW ‘JEOPARDISING PEACE PROCESS’ Sinn Féin has voiced its concern at what it brands “ﬂagrant law-enforcement” in Northern Ireland. In a statement, party leader Gerry Adams revealed: “The nationalist community in the Republic is deeply sensitive to the interference of this Government, and the recent attempts by the Southern police force to impose ad hoc standards of lawfulness and criminality on this community do nothing to assuage our legitimate concerns.” Some members of the nationalist community found robbery and assault highly therapeutic, he continued. “It should be their right to deal with their own personal pain in whatever way they see ﬁt.” Arresting, or trying in some way to criminalise these people, would be an “attack on the nationalist community and its values - an attack on the peace process”. On the subject of community integration, Adams commented, “For many years, nationalists have peddled hard drugs to

their friends and neighbours, enslaving them to a life of misery. If Unionists want to integrate with the nationalist community, they will have to accept the culture of gangsterism that goes with it. “As long as the peace process is threatened by the ‘cosy consensus’ of the statute books and law enforcement, nationalists will rail against every injustice they can make up. To turn the other cheek would be unchristian.”

College Tribune

1st April 2008

SPORT

DOWN THE LINE

SPORT IN BRIEF COMPILED BY JORDAN DALY

Camogie Last Wednesday, the UCD Camogie team ended their fantastic season with victory in the O’ Maolagain Cup, the All-Ireland Camogie Intervarsity Sevens, a er an exciting win over Waterford Institute of Technology in Thurles, County Tipperary. This was a fabulous victory by the team and great credit has been aimed at managers David Kennedy and Aoife Murray. The O’Maolagain Cup is named a er Bridin Bean Ui Mhaolagan, life president of the UCD club and former president of the National Association. This completes a magniﬁcent season for the side, following the retention of the Ashbourne Cup with a win over Waterford IT on February 24.

Keeping politics out of sport

Rowing The Neptune Boat Club celebrated their centenary with a rowing competition on Saturday last at Islandbridge. Following their winning trend from the Colours success, UCD took home the majority of silverware. They out stripped competition in the novice fours, the intermediate eights, the senior eights and earned the Best Club award. The Dublin Crew also beat Oxford with the help of UCD’s Anthony English and Tom Doyle. This made it a very successful weekend for the Belﬁeld boatmen, who can conﬁdently face Trinity in the University Championships next week.

Lacrosse The UCD Lacrosse First Team was beaten by English outfit Nottingham in the semi-final of the Dublinfest Lacrosse competition. The First Team, captained by Paddy O’Leary, was unbeaten through their group matches with five wins and a draw. This put UCD through as the top seeded team, and they met their second team in the quarterfinals. After beating them, they faced eventual Tournament winners, the University Of Nottingham. The UCD ladies progressed past the group stages but lost by a goal in the quarter finals.

As the world’s press floods the public with article after article about the Olympic Torch, Bryan Devlin takes a look at the intrusive presence of politics in sport “I ain’t got no quarrel with them Viet Cong. They never called me nigger.” – Infamous words from the greatest. In 1966, Muhammad Ali refused to enter the Vietnam War on the grounds of his religion. He would become one of the most famous conscientious objectors of all time. He would be stripped of both his boxing licence and his heavyweight title, and sentenced to ﬁ een years in prison, a term which he would not serve. The above is just one example of how politics and contrasting political beliefs can disrupt the course of an athlete’s life. The fact that Ali would hold the title on two more occasions and be voted Sportsperson of the Century is a testament to the man’s character above all else. The fact is, however, that he was stripped of that which deﬁned him. When they took his gloves from him, they made him a political martyr, not a disgraced boxer. Where politics divides, sport unites. Sport is a form of entertainment; it is watched by millions as a form of escape. Perhaps the most prominent political debate in regard to sport in Ireland is the question of Ireland’s Call. The anthem for the Irish rugby, hockey and cricket teams. In an article published in the Belfast Telegraph in the run up to the World Cup last year, Gavin Mairs highlighted that many in the north wanted God Save Queen sung prior to Ireland’s Call

when Ireland played their warm up game in Ravenhill, the team’s ﬁrst for 53 years. The thinking behind it was that when the team plays in Dublin, Amhran na bhFiann is played before Ireland’s Call, so why not sing God Save the Queen in Belfast. In fact, old protocol called for God Save the Queen in Belfast and Amhran na bhFiann in the south, but this was years before Ireland’s Call

“The Olympic Games are not responsible for the human rights issues, neither are the torch carriers. These protesters are doing nothing for their cause” was composed. The IRFU has been commended for being what has been described as a bright beacon in the dark times of the troubles by uniting Ireland in sport. Despite this however, it has always been plagued by the question of the anthems. The friendly in Ravenhill did nothing but drag up these questions again. Thankfully, the world of sport has not gone quite as far as cinema and music. But sportspeople are

certainly getting there. The relatively recent addition to the soccer rule book , which has robbed the general public of Ryan Giggs’ love rug, was brought in to somewhat deter players from writing political slogans on their vests and under shirts by awarding them with a yellow card for their actions. And finally, we come to the Olympic Torch. Wherever the torch goes, controversy follows, nearly as closely as its blue clad protectors. The worldwide protest is in favour of a free Tibet and opposes China’s abuse of human rights. The Olympic Games are not responsible for the human rights issues, neither are the torch carriers. These protesters are doing nothing for their cause. They are merely taking one step forward and two steps back. They are getting their point across but they are completely alienating the general public in the process. The biggest blow they struck their campaign was the Golden Gate Bridge fiasco. Not only did they endanger themselves, but they endangered the lives of the honest workers who were commissioned to remove the banners. They are simply holding up a sporting tradition that is older than modern politics itself. It seems that these days politics will stick its nose in everywhere, but in the case of its presence in sport, it will have to box clever and as the great one said “Float like a butterfly and sting like a bee”.

SPORT

College Tribune

15th April 2008

No shit Sherlock Dublin football legend Jason Sherlock speaks to Eoghan Glynn about playing soccer for UCD, and lifting an All-Ireland with Dublin “My criteria for playing has always been the same since I was a youngster. As long as I’m enjoying it and feeling competitive, I’ll continue playing.” With an attitude like this, it’s no wonder that Jason Sherlock has been around the Gaelic football scene for what seems like an eternity, and why so many people within the GAA, and especially Dublin, admire and adore him. Although he is probably going to be remembered most for his brilliance in the Dublin Gaelic football team, his time playing soccer with UCD and Shamrock Rovers, as well as his basketball career, have also proved fruitful. “I got a soccer scholarship in UCD, as I initially came from St. Kevin’s Boys FC, and I found it very enjoyable. The manager of UCD at the time obviously liked what he saw, so I ended up going from Kevin’s to UCD. “I played a few reserve games and got into the team within my first year. At the time, we were in the second tier of the League of Ireland, and we got promoted that year. I stayed on for another two or three years and had a great time there.” While he was showing his worth in front of the soccer goals for UCD (Sherlock remains the fi h top scorer in UCD’s history with 25 goals), ‘Jayomania’ was in full flow in the capital following the Sherlock-inspired AllIreland victory for Dublin in 1995, an experi Dublin football legend Jason Sherlock speaks to Eoghan Glynn about playing soccer for UCD, and li ing an All-Ireland with Dublin ence he admits to finding ‘strange’. “I look back at my time in UCD in particular and it wasn’t as enjoyable because of that. At that age (19), you’re self-conscious as it is, and that’s only enhanced when you’re walking through the college day in, day out. I probably didn’t enjoy that experience as much as I should have.” Despite believing that he could continue his career playing both Gaelic football and soccer, it soon became apparent for Jayo that this wouldn’t be the case. “I went to Shamrock Rovers for a year

a er UCD. At the end of the first season there, I knew myself that I wasn’t doing myself justice in both sports. “It was time to decide, and I suppose all along the answer was Gaelic football, as it was the sport I supported most when I was a youngster. I felt I had more ambition and wanted to succeed on the Gaelic front more than the soccer front.” Sherlock’s soccer career finished in 1999 – a time when Dublin were experiencing one of their longest spells without silverware. “Ultimately we weren’t good enough. Immediately a er 1995, the team was a very mature, established team that had been knocking on the door for years beforehand. “Pat O’Neill le at the time, and maybe some of the guys felt that they had reached their ambitions and perhaps they had less motivation, but the team simply wasn’t good enough.” Following Leinster success under Tommy Lyons in 2002 to end this barren spell, the Dubs suffered another two years in trophy-wilderness before Paul ‘Pillar’ Caffrey took control of the team. Now in his fourth year in charge, Caffrey h a s

“I felt I had more ambition and wanted to succeed on the Gaelic front more than the soccer front”

m a n aged to bring three consecutive Leinster titles to Dublin and two semi-ﬁnal appearances

in the last two years against Mayo and Kerry. Despite the fact that these two semiﬁnal defeats must have hurt

Sherlock greatly, he is still magnanimous in defeat, “We were a score short in both games, but ultimately the best team wins the All-Ireland and we appreciate that. “ T h e ch al l e n g e is, and

was, to improve every year. In 2006, we were beaten by Mayo. In 2007, we came within a score of beating the AllIreland champions, so there has been an improvement. It’s like any team in any competition – all you can try and do is improve. We’re ﬁrm believers that the best team wins.” So, the question remains, can Dublin be the best team this year and go on to li the Sam Ma g u i r e in the t h i r d Sunday of September? “I’m very hopeful as I am every year. This year, under Pillar Caffrey, is our fourth year and I’d like to think we’ve developed a bit further. We’ve already improved in the League this year and in the panel. “We weren’t a million miles away from beating Kerry last year, so that experience has strengthened our resolve. Kerry are still the benchmark for every team in the country. It goes to show how hard it’s going to be to win an All-Ireland, as somebody will have to

beat them, but we’re going to be trying as much as we can to try and get there.” For many commentators within the GAA, this year could be seen as a last hurrah for this Dublin team under Paul Caffrey, as popular belief suggests that this will be his final year in charge. However, on the contrary, the future of Dublin GAA looks bright according to Sherlock, “I don’t think you can say that this is the last hurrah as the best teams are consistent in their performances. “They don’t have high peaks or low valleys. All we’re looking for is steady improvement, and I think we’ve improved on last year. Most players in the squad are between 24 and 27 years old, and they’re going to be competitive for the next three, four or five years.” Sherlock seems to take life as it comes and certainly this is true of his Dublin career. His role may soon change to off the pitch in the future as his experience and maturity would be of great value to the young players coming in. For the moment however, there is no doubt that the criteria he set out as a youngster for playing in the sky and navy blue jerseys are still being met, “I’m still enjoying it. I love going training, I love being involved with Dublin, and I love the challenge of being ultimately successful. I really value the success we have at the moment, and if I can help in any way over the next few years, I’ll be happy to do so,” he concludes.

SPORT

College Tribune

1st April 2008

UCD washed out in second half

UCD’s Men’ firsts continued their poor season with a heavy defeat to Monkstown in Belfield on Saturday. In a game that will probably be remembered for the atrocious weather conditions, the College side took an early 2-0 lead before slowly squandering this lead away for the duration of the match. Although UCD captain David Storey admitted a erwards, “This game was more about the performance ahead of next week’s game.” Both he and his teammates are sure to have felt disappointed for throwing away the opportunity to beat Monkstown in such a fashion. The game got off to a lively start and it came as no surprise that the first UCD goal would involve the particularly active Mick O’Connor as he sprinted down the le side of the pitch before cutting a perfect ball across the circle to the grateful Glen Holmes who tapped the ball into the empty goal. With thirteen minutes gone, UCD doubled their lead as, once again, O’Connor found himself with possession of the ball, and cut yet another superb pass across the circle – this time finding Ross McFarlane who finished off the chance. However, as the skies darkened overhead, one sensed that UCD would be doing well to hold onto this 2-0 lead, and with a minute to go before half time, disaster struck. Monkstown’s Brian Groves weaved through the UCD defence, passed the ball to Filip Juros who

■ Eoghan Glynn ■ UCD

■ MONKSTOWN

blasted the ball past the helpless Herby Sherman. This was where it all began to go wrong and the UCD captain knew it, “It’d be fair enough to say that was the turning point,” he admitted a erwards, “At half time, we could’ve had the advantage with the two-goal cushion, but we didn’t.” The second half was dominated by both Monkstown and the weather, with the former equalising through Simon Groves to the sounds of thunder in the sky. Gareth Walkins followed this goal up from a Monkstown short corner as the unfortunate UCD goalkeeper couldn’t stop the ball from going into the top corner. A ten minute stoppage ensued due to poor light, and when the ﬂoodlights came on, it was Groves again who sealed the victory with another tap in. In truth, the torrential rain made a UCD comeback impossible, and Fran Lee went on to add another for Monkstown before the end. UCD now sit second from bottom, and will have to show more prolonged periods of dominance in their battle to stay up against Division 2 runners-up Suttonians in a relegation play-oﬀ this weekend.

Star quality in Superleague It looked like a very professional game as the Star Cup kicked oﬀ last weekend. Both teams were kitted out in ex-UCD home and away gear, with the occasional pair of Hawaiian shorts thrown in. The sun was shining, and for once, it wasn’t freezing on the sidelines. Soon though, normality set in as the ﬁrst goal went in. and it was clear that it was just a Superleague Star Cup match on the Restaurant Pitch. Tottenham Notspurs captain William Hayes described the goal. “Their kick out didn’t go far and our striker, Bernard Lockman was jostling with their centre half. Their centre half tried to head it back to the keeper but instead

SUPER LEAGUE it went straight past him.” This was the start of a 2-1 victory for Notspurs against Finlay’s Athletico Victims, but it wasn’t easy, as Hayes describes, “We were under the cosh for the last ten minutes, and we cleared two of their chances oﬀ the line. It was 1-1 at this point. Then we cleared a long ball up ﬁeld and Bernard got on it again,

chested it down and slotted it past the keeper with about ten seconds le .” Notspurs’ problem now is to keep the players turning up for their next game in the cup against Top Sharking. Sharking will battle for everything and won’t be pushed over but Hayes is confident. “If we can get players to turn up, I’m confident we can beat anyone.” FC El Messidor won 7-0 against College United and Bean FC played out a fi een goal thriller, coming up 10-5 winners over Mike Bassets Allsorts, but the biggest win of the first round went to Lesbian Air Disasters, as they beat the odds, thumping 2-1 favourites 9-0, with four goals coming from Olly Fitzgerald.

Finishing second a er winning their ﬁnal league game of the season 2-1, Air Disasters have looked dangerous in all competitions, losing out narrowly to Dalhouise in the League Cup. Dalhouise are one of the top teams in Superleague but were hunted down and taken out 32 by Killer Rabbits last weekend so the Star Cup is there for anyone. Alan Burns, Air Disasters captain, believe that his team has every chance of winning. “We were unlucky in the League Cup and ﬁnished second in the league, so we fear nobody and we feel we have a reasonable chance to progress. We were missing a few players today but I’d say they were too. They beat us last season so we didn’t really expect to

win so easily.” They now go on to face LIP in the next round, who they knocked out of the League Cup earlier in the year on penalties. LIP will be up for it having beaten Fishy Toothbrush 3-2 on Monday last. There are definitely plenty of goals to look forward to in this competition. In the whole first round of 31 matches, there wasn’t a single scoreless draw and only one game that finished 1-0. Ties of the round include Sporting Lesbians against Everton a Fat Bird and a Blackrock derby between H-Bam and Pen Islanders.

Eoghan Brophy

College Tribune

15th April 2008

SPORT

WHEN POLITICS AND SPORT COLLIDE DOWN THE LINE: PAGE 17

College facing relegation drogfight

Two goals from Aidan O’Keeffe spurred eircom League champions Drogheda United to their second successive Premier Division victory at the Belfield Bowl last Friday, and condemned UCD to their fourth successive game without a win. College have claimed just four points from a possible eighteen this season, and find themselves teetering precariously on the brink of the automatic relegation spot, during these early days of the new season. The home team was made to work for their early possession as the Boynesiders gave their best performance to date, finally beginning to look like the league champions that they are. An early period of attacking pressure from the visitors came down the le flank with Joe Kendrick and Ollie Cahill linking up on the le wing. Striker Eamonn Zayed’s totally mis-

timed header from six yards showed that he was not on finishing form, and such was evident again just a few minutes later when he dragged his effort across goal. His partner O’Keefe, not normally a first choice marksman for manager Paul Doolin, proved clinical on the night, and was supplied tirelessly by Zayed in the first half. The reward came on 36 minutes when a clearance from the home side’s defence was headed back by Shane Robinson out on the right. Zayed then flicked it on to the poised O’ Keefe, who fired low past Matt Gregg. UCD came straight back at the visitors with a counter attack. Brian King belted a driven shot towards the inside right of the Drogheda goalmouth, only for the Scottish goalkeeper Jamie Ewings to push his effort around the post. The resultant corner, like all of

■ Jordan Daly ■ UCD

■ DROGHEDA UTD

UCD’s corners during the match, was claimed ﬂawlessly in the air by the Drogheda goaltender. Aerial prowess proved a key component in winning for Drogheda as O’Keefe muscled his way above Brian Shorthall just seven minutes later. A long cross that should have been easily dealt with by UCD was thumped just inside the right post as the traveling fans erupted in celebrations. A er two goals in seven minutes, it looked like the Belﬁeld Boys were in for a bad night. Incredibly though, just 60 seconds

had passed before a lapse in concentration meant that Graham Gartland was found guilty of bundling over UCD’s Shane Fitzgerald in the area. Experienced defender Alan Mahon stepped up to take the penalty kick. His initial strike was saved by Ewings, but the UCD man was quickest to the rebound. A er the break, just a further minute had passed before referee Derek Tomney pointed to the same spot again, much to the dismay of the home crowd. Killian Gallagher shoved Shane Robinson in the box, and Robinson gave Gregg no chance as he conﬁdently stroked it into the net. The rest of the match was uneventful, apart from a handful of UCD scoring opportunities. On 52 minutes, Pat McWalter swung a ball in from the le , and onto the head of Paul Byrne.

His strong downward header should have been a consolation goal for the persistent home offense, but was sent wide of the mark. Drogheda United held out for the three points as UCD lost out in many individual battles around the pitch. Conor Kenna played a solid sweeper role, but the team as a whole was quiet and weak in 50/50 challenges. The last passages of play were exhibition stuff for the champions, as they brought on three substitutes, including Shane Barrett who returned a er a long injury. The league table tells a very different story for both clubs, with this win putting Paul Doolin’s side firmly back on track as they seek to defend their league title, but for Doolin’s former club, this season seems sure to promise little more than a dogged scrap for survival.

Inside:

■ Animal Collective ■ Gemma Hayes ■ Summer Flicks ■ Helen Cody

The art of war Exclusive Battles interview: Page 6

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t | Issue 11 15.04.08 en m le pp Su t en nm ai rt te En e un College Trib

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College Tribune

15th April 2008

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ISSUE 11

Music “We were just looking for the best way to put out our own records” Animal Collective: P4

Music “So then when I do hit it, it’s like a marker, it’s an event when I really crash into it” Battles: Page 6

Arts “It’s quite difficult to have a social life, but nobody is forcing me to do any of this” Mixing Acting and Education: P10

Books “Corny? Definitely. Thoroughly entertaining? Absolutely” The Writings of Joanne Harris: P12

Destruction eruption Texas post-rockers This Will Destroy You take time out from the Dublin leg of their ongoing European tour to speak to Lorcan Archer about the joys and trials of bringing their expansive sound to the masses This Will Destroy You guitarist Jeremy Galindo is in an upbeat mood, despite having just misplaced his jacket with his camera in the pocket. “It’s around here somewhere man,” he explains, casting a searching glance around the interiors of Whelan’s as the support bands for the U.S. group sound-check. “Luckily I managed to put most of the pictures of the tour onto my computer beforehand, but hopefully it’ll turn up somewhere.” The tour is proving to be a baptism of fire for the group, with This Will Destroy You being two weeks into a two month long trek across Europe in support of their debut eponymous album, their first venture of such a kind outside the States. “It’s been pretty incredible”, admits Galindo, as we abandon the chaos of the venue for a smoke and chat outside. “We started out in Belgium and we’ve been moving through Europe since then, playing some of the best shows we’ve done in years. The crowds over here seem really hungry for us, the turnouts have been really healthy and that’s been great to see. The real stand-outs so far have been Athens, London and Heidelburg, we had such a good time at each of them.” The reaction may have had something to do with the fact that the majority of European fans are only getting their first chance to check out the group on this tour, despite the fact that the band have been pulling in critical acclaim aplenty since their first release, the Young Mountain EP, which came out a whole four years ago. “Our Young Mountain release is really more of a glorified demo that our label wanted to put out, so we let them. Things have most definitely changed since then for us, it’s been a matter of us progressing onto new sounds and just finding out what way the music will go for us on the debut album.” The band’s sound could be described as a particularly emotive brand of swelling and moving postrock, grand soundscapes dri ing and melting through the long tracks that populate their releases. We’re soon joined by the group’s new bassist Donovan, who happily describes their sound as “ambient instrumental slow jams, with some sludge thrown in.” He’s keen to stress their independence from overly defining influences, “I’m not such a big fan of the whole post-rock thing, but all our tastes are varied. I love a lot of hip-hop and electronic music. I’m a bassist so anything with a good rhythm section sounds good to me.” There’s certainly been something in the air that This Will Destroy You have tapped into, a hunger for something different from fans worldwide, that is allowing them to prosper. “I think people are just hungry for some-

thing diﬀerent, something special that will speak to them in some way that mainstream music has failed to do in the past few years,” states Galindo.

“It looks like people are hungry for knowledge of different things and sounds that back in the day didn’t get much interest. Music certainly isn’t dumbing down at the moment.”

“It looks like people are hungry for knowledge of different things and sounds that back in the day didn’t get much interest. Music certainly isn’t dumbing down at the moment.” This unique feel is audible in This Will Destroy You’s music, with the audience having no difficulty latching on to their mostly instrumental movements with enthusiasm. “People have come up to me a er shows and said that they’ve been moved or touched by what we put out, which is fantastic. The language barrier doesn’t exist over here with our music. I mean, we don’t want to shove sounds down anyone’s throat, so it’s good to just put the music out there and let people take it if they want.” The group’s shows have a reputation for their affecting nature, as the forceful vibe of the band really

comes into its own. “It’s definitely a very emotional progress for us up on stage. You can tell what we’re feeling in regards to a song up there from our expressions and movement. And we feed off the audience so much as well. When we get off stage and we just crash. But we do love to get down and drink as well, have a good time. In the exhaustion there’s clarity, and I think with a long tour like this, it’ll pull out the truth of our music so much more. “You can understand that we don’t like being thrown into any category,” Galindo continues. “But inevitably it’s going to happen. I know I can speak for everyone in the band when I say that certain groups like Sigur Ros, Animal Collective and Stars of the Lid have had an influence on us, but it’s certainly not the be all and end of our sound. Just listen to the music.”

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Gem in a Hayes stack Irish songstress Gemma Hayes speaks to Eoin Boyle about writer’s block, her recent creative renaissance and returning to her roots

When Gemma Hayes appeared on the Irish scene six years ago with her debut album, Night On My Side, it’s safe to she made quite an impact. Hayes stood out amidst a sea of nondescript singersongwriters and managed to gain far more recognition than those around her. It may have been because she was one of few women in the scene or maybe there was something in her lyrics, but her arrangements just struck the right chord with the music-listening public. Upon the eve of the release of her third album, The Hollow of Morning, Hayes appears as confident as ever despite the setbacks that her writing process suffered in the early days of writing the new record. “Every album for me is sort of like my life’s work, and there was pressure to put out another album really quickly regardless of the quality. I didn’t want to do that. I ended up being my own worst enemy because every time that I would try to write I would start to become so self-critical that everything had to be perfect. Nothing was perfect, nothing was good enough.” According to Hayes, she also suffered from the dreaded artistic affliction of writer’s block. “I couldn’t write for ages because I had toured so much. I put out my first album and I didn’t think anything was going to happen and I just wasn’t prepared for the amount of work that was involved. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to do this anymore.” The period of revaluation came during a somewhat chaotic period for Hayes in general. “There were a lot of things going on in the period between the first and the second album. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to stay in music; I was being overly harsh on myself and couldn’t write for a while. It’s just part of growing up as well.” Heading across the Atlantic to America then became the escape for her, eventually proving a positive step in every sense. “It physically and mentally broadened my horizons, broadened my world, and I met people from completely different backgrounds to myself. All that stuff helped me to get excited about things again. I think everyone goes through a period of writer’s block and it’s really not that big a deal. I don’t know any songwriter who hasn’t gone through bouts of not being able to write, mine just lasted a little longer than I anticipated.” The rejuvenating trip was in fact not set to happen until fate intervened. “I had no interest in going to Los Angeles, because it was never a place that I thought I would like. I wanted to go to New York, but my manager happened to have an apartment in LA so I thought I’d go and see what I thought. When I got there I was lucky, I fell into a crowd of really wonderful people and of course the people make the place.” With Hayes’ second album, The Roads Don’t Love You, came an exploration of the various influences which helped her music form and take shape. “I’d say that all my influences bleed into what I do, and I think that the second album had a far more traditional approach to things. It was very much verse, chorus, verse, chorus, a lot more like the traditional songwriter stuff. My idea was to have these traditional songs and throw different attitudes at them, one might be a slightly indie approach, the other I would want to be really polished. With the second album you can really see how defined each song is

and what influences each of them.” Hayes’ long love-affair with music stems from her formative years. “When I started listening to music I was always torn between really folky acoustic stuff and the big bands and I wanted to do it all. Nirvana was my coming of age band - they just completely changed my world. From listening to them I was introduced to their influences, and at the same time I was listening to John Martyn and Nick Drake. I wanted to see what all the fuss was

“When I started listening to music I was always torn between really folky acoustic stuff and the big bands and I wanted to do it all. Nirvana was my coming of age band” about and then I started getting into it and was like ‘Holy Cow!” An atmosphere familiar to most music fans pervaded during Hayes’ teenage years, with her friends proving instrumental to her exposure to different genres. “When I was in school it was nearly like a competition, who knew the band that nobody else knew? I remember this guy had dEUS written on his bag in tip-ex and I was intrigued by the name and he told me I had to check them out. My flat mate in college introduced me to Red House Painters and American Music Club, a lot of the Americana folk music. All I knew was Joni Mitchell and Neil Young but there was this whole other kind of music that I had never heard of. I always want to know what the bands I like are influenced by.” Having well and truly embarked upon a voyage of self-discovery, Hayes’ current release and third

album was to a certain extent a far more enjoyable affair in almost every way. “This one is a funny old album; I decided I was going to make it in three weeks. So I rang up David Odlum and I asked if he had three weeks to spare, he said yeah and I told him that I was going to write and record an album in three weeks. I said I’d just write them and record them as we go along, I won’t be precious. I’ll throw them down and it’ll be really rough and raw. “Of course, a year later and I was still writing songs and putting them on the album. In my head I wanted this to be a really quick album but I kept writing songs and then scrapping the song or writing another one or merging two songs together. But the overall approach to this was so much freer because there’s no label and with the other two albums I constantly had to fight for everything.” This lack of big label pressure means that this time around, Hayes was totally free in her choice of what would make it onto her own record. “There’s no stand-out singles on this album really, it’s a quiet little thing. I’ve no idea if people will take to it or not but it was just nice to record an album with nobody involved except for myself and David and whoever we chose to play on it. “A little bit of pressure is good though, because I know myself that if there was no pressure there then I would keep scrapping songs and rerecording. There was actually one time in the studio when David got up from his chair and went over to the wall and started hitting his head off it because I think I was changing the same song for the third time. Towards the end I needed someone to tell me I’ve got to finish this album or I’ll be at it forever.” The compulsion to write and perform is what keeps Hayes moving onwards, and she seems to have found her feet. “I kind of feel like I don’t have a choice, I just have to make music. Straight away I’m already thinking about the next album. This passion started when I was about eighteen and it just hasn’t stopped since. I will always make music, I don’t know whether it will always be my career but I’ll certainly always be giving it a go.”

College Tribune

15th April 2008

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College Tribune

15th April 2008

Aural Examinations the polished assortment of their most identified 14 songs, while the second offers the John Peel Sessions as well as a rare interview with Ian Curtis and Stephen Morris. The anthology traces the ominous melancholy of Curtis’ psyche, laid bare beneath his disheartening lyrics – “I feel it closing in, I feel it closing in, day in, day out...” layered with the murky, grime of their instrumental backdrop. From Morris’ pounding rhythmic drum sequences, to Hooky’s cadenced bass, the remaining nnnnp members’ melodic involvement is hardly discounted by CurWith all the recent hype surround- tis’ signature haunting vocals – a range ing Joy Division, the re-releases of the that leant a voice to the dejected crestband’s works in re-mastered deluxe fallen working class of the Manchurian editions of Closer, Still and Unknown Thatcher era. Pleasures, in company with the success It is, in an essence, a polished and reof Ian Curtis biopic Control, it was only fined collection of the inspired works of a matter of time until the record com- a band who only ever released one album pany put their heads together to find as Joy Division; an aural spring-clean of a new, albeit obvious means to cash in the raw, course grit that the band origion the reawakening amongst the new nally created. and older fans of Joy Divisions gloomy legacy. The album shines way above its asking Sophie O’Higgins price. A double disc CD, the first contains

joy division

best of joy division

spearhead

rem

decrowning the irenarch nnnnp

accelerate nnnnn

Pioneers like Venom aside, high speed, blackened Death/Thrash Metal is not particularly well known as a very common export of the UK, lamentably languishing far behind both Tesco and various other slightly more powerful interests. However, with this solid sophomore effort and the aid of Ireland’s own Invictus label, Spearhead have established a morethan secure beach head, with a particularly strong and classic sounding Morbid Angel feel coming through as the album progresses. The group have managed to string together both a strong, militaristic feel through the use of some very effective spoken word samples and choice ambient warfare sounds (think the sound of relentless marching and distant explosions) in combination with a tight, satisfying and punchy metal attack. Some very nicely placed guitar noodles and relentless drumming in tracks like When The Pillars Fall more than aid this. It’s also a nice touch to see a theme like the necessary proliferation of war and combat being robustly tackled in the lyrics department, with Road to Austerlitz prompting this reviewer to investigate the historic significant of that Napoleonic victory fist hand. However, when the shredding guitars do slow down, such as on In The Face Of The Absolute, there’s a meaty groove and thudding rhythm on display that rivals even the delivery of New York stalwarts Immolation. Showcasing a dexterousness that is to be applauded, a solid and ambitious release is assured, which most importantly possesses its own character rather than simply aping the greats of their genre that they are obviously inspired by. A very definite thumbs up.

REM were in grave danger of being written oﬀ as rock relics. Even hardcore fans could be forgiven for approaching the album with a degree of scepticism, a er the mix run of recent albums. The band needed to convince fans that they are still relevant, still worth listening to, and they’ve succeeded, creating their best material in quite a while. Clocking in at just less than 34 minutes, the album has a breakneck urgency that the band had abandoned in recent years. Messrs Stipe, Buck and Mills have cut away all the fat and produced deliberately short and snappy songs, and from the opening bar they mean business. Album opener Living Well is the Best Revenge sets the tone, and the fast paced urgency continues, with crunching guitar and Stipe’s aggressive delivery, and never really lets up until track four, the standout Hollow Man, which builds from a standing start into a pop gem. Lead single Supernatural Superstitious is REM’s best eﬀort in years, catchy and clever. Make no mistake, this is the same band, but an urgency and focus gives the group a new lease of life a er several mediocre releases. Stipe memorably asserts, “If the storm doesn’t Kill me, the Government will.” in Hurricane Katrina inspired “Houston”. This is an album light on content but heavy on standout moments, being cut back to its core. On the title-track, Stipe cries, “No time to question the choices I have made”, and it is an ethos that has seen a return to the top.

Lorcan Archer

Philip Connolly

Sounds animal

Sebastian Clare speaks to acclaimed US group Ani their high-oc The New York-based Animal Collective have a sound that is nigh-on impossible to describe, with even band member Avey Tare having considerable difficulty in attempting to capture the essence of his own band’s principle genre. “It’s hard, but for me it’s like energy, it’s very energy-based. It’s like a rhythmic, melodic, trance, dance thing.” Such imperviousness to pigeon-holing reflects the group’s experimental nature, with their overall style varying sizably from album to album. The enigmatic four who would become the Animal Collective – Avey Tare, Panda Bear, Geologist and Deakin - met in high school, and began recording and sharing ideas soon a er. “We had all done a little bit of our own recording. Recording was always a big part of playing music to us because we didn’t really play live so much when we started out. “We were kind of young and there weren’t many bars in Baltimore where you could play. It took us a while to figure out that there were kids our age setting up shows in churches and stuff like that.” Initially less a solid unit and more like a few disparate musicians helping each other out with their own records, the foursome did eventually take to the stage. “Finally we did get involved in performance and we played a few shows but we never really wanted to play live so much when we were younger. We were more into buying the latest pieces of recording equipment and stuff like that.” Intent on releasing the multitude of recordings he had created over the previous years, Panda Bear established Soccer Star records in 1999. As the group became much more collaborative in nature over the following year, this label morphed into Animal records, from which the band takes its name. “At the time we were just looking for the best way to put out our own records. The label wasn’t really meant to do anything other than that at first.” However, a er they moved to New York it became clear that the financial strain and overbearing workload of running a label were too much for them to handle alone. In 2003 Todd Hyman of Carpark records stepped in to help the group. “He just came up with the idea of starting this label that was devoted

just to our taste or the way we make music. We could make so much out of it with diﬀerent projects, so the results have been pretty sweet.” This label was Paw Tracks, under which was released Here Comes The Indian, the ﬁrst album to feature

particularly true of their most recent offering, the 2007 album Strawberry Jam, which received praise from critics and fans alike due to a much stronger emphasis on vocals than had been present in previous efforts. Tare reveals that this will be built upon in future material, while remaining true to their reputation as an experimental outfit that is constantly seeking to break new ground. “I do think that it is very vocal and I think it’s a little bit different to Strawberry Jam in that there’s a lot more collaborative singing between Noah and I, we wanted to be a little bit more elaborate with the vocals this time. With Strawberry Jam we just wanted to keep it really stripped-down and have it be more singular voice oriented but I think with this one there’s going be a lot more voices.” Recently the group have been focusing on working extensively on a visual project with their friend and filmmaker Danny Perez in New York. “He’s shot all this footage with us; all

“At the time we were just looking for the best way to put out our own records. The label wasn’t really meant to do anything other than that at first” all four of the band members. This was also their ﬁrst release under the moniker Animal Collective. Tare is full of praise for Hyman’s character; “He’s a good guy to work with, really easygoing, and he sees eye-to-eye with us on a lot of things.” Since then the Animal Collective have seemingly gone from strength to strength, achieving widespread critical acclaim with practically every commercial release. This was

MUSIC

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from the kingdom

imal Collection about the ins and outs of producing ctane sound

College Tribune

15th April 2008

gnarls barkley

the odd couple

yael naim and david donatien nnnpp

yael naim nnnpp

Following the massive success of 2006’s St. Elsewhere, from which the mental illness themed number-one hit Crazy was taken, it was always going to be a tough follow-up for the American “Neo-Soul” duo, Gnarls Barkley. Having achieved so much with that album (Crazy was the first single to top the UK singles chart purely on downloads, and it stayed at number 1 for nine weeks), the pressure must have been on to try to repeat it. Unfortunately, that shows. The Odd Couple o en sounds like a succession of somewhat cynical attempts to write “Crazy 2”. The album opens with the track Charity Case, a slick R’n’B number, but with strangely threatening lyrics. There’s something disconcerting about vocalist Cee-Lo chanting menacingly, “Get get get horny. Now!” In this context, his then singing about how “You’re not doing good. I can help,” sounds frankly dirty. Still, the album’s immaculate production manages to compensate for the intermittent lapses of lyrical judgement that would otherwise mar many tracks. Strong, catchy beats power most of the songs, with CeeLo’s voice normally carrying the melody. This isn’t catchy guitar-riff stuff: these are songs for singing, with his distinctive soulful voice always foremost in the mix. The desire to showcase his considerable vocal skill is presumably what led Cee-Lo to try his skills at something approaching Gangsta rap in what is, probably unintentionally, the album’s funniest moment: the track Would-Be Killer. It opens with a sample of a gun loading, and then goes downhill from there. All in all, the album is competent, inoffensive background music that should not be particularly pleasing or displeasing for anyone.

This effort from Yael Naim and David Donatien is best described as both sweet and diverse. Throughout the thirteen tracks of the collaboration, Yael Naim sings in not only English, but also French and Israeli. As her so , almost whining voice weaves in and out of the different languages, it is hard to ignore the feeling of truth that is inscribed in every bend and break of her voice. It is not only the linguistic variety that supplies a refreshing sense of innovation as the mixture of instruments that dapple the background, though based around Donatein’s guitar, move from low quivering violins to humming synths in order to create a melting pot of atmospheric sounds. There is also a charming simplicity that inhabits the album. Track number five, Shelcha, begins with Naim’s pining voice and Donatien’s resonating guitar motif. Her voice echoing, light drums, swaying violins and so ly played piano, then warm the texture. Their version of Toxic enters a realm in which Britney Spears and all that she stands for disintegrates. Naim’s vocals curve and explore wide ranges with her innate blues style, while the song Pachad, though sung in Israeli, also leans towards the blues style. As the pianist tumbles down the keys and the bass stirs in your chest, Naim’s voice both whispers and screams with sorrow. The lyrics for Too Long and Far Far, also offer a few endearing one-liners, but a lack of depth (frustratingly) plagues the album. Repeating choruses and short verses fail to satisfy a curious mind. Naim could in fact heed her own advice and “dive, there’s a beautiful mess inside”. It’s an album of emotional sound and the bare-necessities.

Danny Lambert

Maeve Devoy

Gig Guide these visual vignettes, or whatever they’re called. They don’t necessarily all work together on their own but with music will all be pieced together.” In addition the band has completed the assembly of a vinyl-only live box set purported to contain three LPs of unreleased material, and the release is only being delayed due to the intricate artwork being created for the packaging. “The guy that we’re putting it out with likes to do really handmade, personal stuff so I think the box that it’ll come in will be really specialised and a little bit difficult to cra . So it’ll maybe take a little while yet.” Animal Collective are on the line-up for the highly regarded ATP festival in Minehead on May 18th, the group finally managing to clear their schedules for the event. “We’ve never played ATP before, it’s always either not fit in with our touring dates which can be weird sometimes or we’d just have taken a holiday and it would just not fit in, so we’re psyched to be able to do it this year.” The group take to the stage at Tripod the following evening, a gig Tare in particular is looking forward to as he missed the band’s last performance there in November 2007 due to a throat infection. “I basically just had to stay in the hotel while we were there and I’ve never really been to Dublin that much, so I was bummed out man.”

Tuesday 15th April Down - Ambassador Theatre, €38.60, doors at 8pm Har Mar Superstar - Crawdaddy, €16, doors at 8pm

v From

15.04.2008 doors at 8.00pm Divokej Bill - Button Factory, €30, 7.30pm Monday 21st April Elbow - Vicar St. , €28, doors at 8pm Jape - Crawdaddy, €14, doors at 8pm Violetta - Whelan’s, €11.50, doors at 8pm

Thursday 17th April Maria Doyle Kennedy - Whelan’s, €17.50, Maria Doyle Kennedy plays doors at 8pm Whelans on 17th April Tuesday 22nd April Wallis Bird + Aidan Alela Diane + Mariee Sioux - Craw- Crawdaddy, €15, doors at 8pm daddy, €17, doors at 8pm Dick Gaughan - Whelan’s, Friday 18th April €20, doors at 8pm Republic of Loose - The Academy, €20, doors at 8pm Wednesday 23rd April Dark Room Notes - The VilSebodah - Upstairs at Whelage, €14, doors at 8pm lan’s, €25, doors at 8.00pm The Jimmy Cake - The Button Factory, €17.45, doors at 7.30pm Thursday 24th April King Creosote - Crawdaddy, Saturday 19th April €14, doors at 8.00pm Alabama 3 - The Button FacThe Ex - Whelan’s, €16, doors at 8.00pm tory, €31.50, doors at 7.30pm Giveamanakick - Whelan’s, Friday 25th April €12.50, doors at 8.00pm The Amazing Few + More Tiny Giants Suffocation + supports - Fib- The Button Facory, €10, doors at 7.30pm bers, €22, doors at 7.30pm Mouse on Mars - The Button Factory, €17.50, doors at 11pm Sunday 20th April Foals - The Academy, €14, doors at 8.00pm Republic of Loose - The Academy, €20, doors at 8pm John Spillane - Whelan’s, €23,

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College Tribune

15th April 2008

Let the battle Battles need no introduction to their Irish fans, as drummer John Stanier speaks to Lorcan Archer about the road ahead and the huge response the group have generated all over the world Imagine a long-since abandoned slate quarry in the middle of the Wales countryside. It’s the dead of night, and across the floor of the rocky expanse someone has erected a series of vertically lit tubes, each about eight feet tall and emitting a faint blue glow. The tubes cover the floor of the nocturnal scene, slowly lighting up to reflect thousands of facets of blue light on the millions of slate chips that litter the vast expanse, to the beat of a group of musicians playing in the centre of the forest of light. The group is Battles, the song they’re making a

video for is Tonto, and the masterminds in charge of the stunning visual display are none other than United Visual Artists, who’ve come together with the U.S. band to make a very special clip for a special song. “It really was a fantastic experience working with the guys from UVA for Tonto”, recalls Battles drummer John Stanier several months a er the completion of the video. “I can’t remember who approached who, but they basically went on location scouting for the video shoot, it being the second single, and they found this big abandoned quarry in Wales. “The last thing that’d actually been done there was the photo for the album cover of Led Zeppelin’s Houses of the Holy. It’s really in the middle of nowhere, and they programmed these lights to react and ﬂash with the music of the song. The song is like eight minutes long, and we didn’t want to do an MTV edit or anything, so we

just did it justice, and presented it all in its entirety. The whole thing is almost like a short ﬁlm. ” The result was certainly one of the most stunning displays of music video inventiveness of the last year, a level of

just ingredients for the same musical cake of good songs. “As vague and uncommitted as that sounds, I think it’s truer than almost anything else to just leave it at a rock band”, explains Stanier. “We hate all that math-rock labelling that gets thrown around to describe us. It’s a really cheap way of explaining, like “Oh it’s really crazy and complex so it must be like math.” It’s a really 90s term as well, that has resurfaced for some reason. At the end of the day we’re just a rock band that’s using newer technology, saying otherwise would just be lying.” The group have been moving onto the global level since their formation in 2003, with last year’s Mirrored debut having instantly secured more rave reviews than can easily be counted. Stanier himself is no fresh amateur, still drumming for Mike Patton’s Tomahawk project and having beat the skins with cult hardcore/noise group Helmet for several years in the 90s, an experience he regards as good practise for the non-stop touring that Battles carry out, recently spending an entire year on the road since the album’s release. “I’ve been doing this for so long now so I’m sort of used to it”, reflects the sticksman. “But yeah, I mean a year is a year. This is what we do, but it’s a great thing. To complain about touring is ridiculous I think. Sometimes it can be easy to complain if you’re tired or miss home, but when you’re getting requests from people all over the world who want to see you, it’s amazing and obviously worth it. And I’m so happy with Battles, we’ve so much positivity. Ask me in eight years how things are going when we’re all sick of each other, but right now I feel very lucky to be part of this.” The following that Battles has fostered around the world has been considerable, demanding that the group expand and prolong tours constantly. “We’ve been to South America recently, The Big Day festival out in Australia, and we just seemed to explode in Europe. So it’s a labour of love of course, and we’re just very happy that people want to see us so much. We’re supposed to be on a break right now, but had a meeting last night and we’ve decided to do the Coachella and Lollapolooza festivals in the States, plus another upcoming European tour that seems to be getting bigger and bigger.” Such a gruelling schedule does not knock Stanier back at all, with the group being well aware of the need to gain the maximum amount of exposure in order to stay in the limelight and please their huge number of fans. “That’s definitely the way things work, you keep your profile up, and people continually want to see you”, affirms the drummer, “You need to do this kind of thing.” As is fitting for the

“The cymbal being positioned so ridiculously started out as a joke. I keep it up there because it keeps it out of the way mainly. So then when I do hit it, it’s like a marker, it’s an event when I really crash into it” creativity that reflects the same ethic of innovation that has defined Battles as something very special in the modern rock landscape. Simply labelling themselves as a modern rock band with extra technology, Stanier reiterates that the massive uses of organic and sampled rhythms, keyboards, synths, looping effects, hammered guitar effects and countless other instruments that make up their catchy but bizarre tracks are

revolutionary approach that the band has taken, another appearance at the fabled All Tomorrow’s Parties festival in the UK is on the cards. For an event known for specialising in the diverse and innovative, it’s little wonder that Battles are treated as returning heroes whenever they make it back. “This will be our third time doing it. I love doing it; I think it’s such a cool festival. It’s really weird but I’ve had so much fun whenever I was there.” Having played twice in Dublin in the past two years, the demand for the group is also big on our own Irish turf. With such a bizarre sound o en ascribed to their name, and the interesting transformation of the tracks into a live setting, perhaps a more common denominator is called for. Do people dance to Battles? “Apparently they do,” replies Stanier. “I’m usually too busy myself to concentrate on the crowd too much.”

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The live reproduction of the material does seem to differ very much from the studio environment that the band inhabits. “They’re two totally different monsters. Inside the studio, it can be very monotonous and quite boring in the process of producing a record, but the end result is extremely satisfying. What you finish up with lasts forever, it’s a CD recording. But the memory of a great live show, the actual adrenaline rush, that doesn’t last as long. It’s just as intense, so it’s a weird Ying & Yang existence. But I can still access the album whenever I need to, and it gives me the same rush.” The recording process is obviously a vital one for a group that present such a layered sound to their material, with a good degree of precision being required in the exact layout of a record. Understandably, this does limit the group somewhat in terms of their productivity. “We won’t have a chance to put out anything by the end

of the year”, says Stanier. “Realistically, early next year is the earliest; it’s just not feasible to say otherwise. We don’t write on tour usually because we’re so tired and we’re cramped in a van. Actually I do believe on this tour we’ll have a bus. But it’s still too difficult to write on tour.” In that respect the band’s strength is almost their weakness in the composition stakes. “Yeah, it’s much easier if you’re a pop/rock band, you can just do it with an acoustic guitar, with us you’ve got all the electronic stuff to deal with, so it’s just far too much of an ordeal to go through on the road. “In regards to the composition process, certain aspects come off the cuff immediately and other parts we agonise over for months. Half of it is really knowing when to stop. For example, that song Leyendecker (track 5 on Mirrored) was done in the studio on the spot. We just banged that one out in an hour, it was only a little tiny idea that

we forgot about and went back to, but it turned out to be pretty fantastic. I really couldn’t even choose a favourite song from the sessions.” The first thing that potential fans encounter when the band arrives, to perform are the posters with the band’s name that appear in their home town. Stanier is quick to dismiss any potential reference to intensity or aggression that the band’s one-word name may suggest. “It was really the last thing on our minds to be honest. What we were going to call ourselves was the last thing we were concerned with. I think Ian thought of the word though. What I do like about it is that it’s quite generic, and you can’t instantly tell what we’re going sound like it. We could be, like, a Black Metal band with that name, and nobody would know unless they went out and listened to us.” The first major taste that many people may have more recently got of Battles would more than likely be their live performance on BBC’s Later with Jools Holland, when the band seized their chance to perform their first major single, Atlas, to several million viewers. A typically bombastic and unorthodox performance followed, one which the group were more than pleased with. “I knew it was a big deal but I didn’t realise it was that big,” laughs Stanier. “We got such great feedback from it. We got to meet Michael Stipe and ended up hanging out all night with Crowded House.” The song Atlas, perhaps one of the most recognizable cuts from Mirrored thanks to its distinctive pedal-effected vocals, now holds an even more special place in its relation to the band that birthed it. “It has absolutely been our most successful song”, agrees Stanier. “But I’d hate to be defined by it. On one hand it’s a little bit annoying, I don’t want to be known for that one song, but it’s helped to pull a lot of people in to hear our even more crazy stuff. That’s what the job of a single is, and I think that it’s succeeded in that respect.” The centre piece of that performance, as with most Battles

shows, was Stanier’s distinctively minimal drum kit, with its eye-grabbing sole crash-cymbal elevated to some feet above the busy drummer’s head. The story behind its position is more practical than may be supposed. “The cymbal being positioned so ridiculously started out as a joke. I keep it up there though because it keeps it out of the way mainly. I didn’t want too many cymbals, so I thought, “Right, I’ll just have one then”. So then when I do hit it, it’s like a marker, it’s an event when I really crash into it”. Back in Ireland in May of this year, it promises to be a busier than ever summer for the New York band. That being said, old allegiances and an earned fondness won’t be forgotten

as the band take to the road. “We do love Ireland. For whatever reason, it’s been very good to us since day one of the group taking off. Ireland is the first country from which we had travelling fans”, explains Stanier with an appreciative tone. “This clique of Irish kids would just show up all over the UK – they also came to Europe. They just jumped on an Aer Lingus or Ryanair flight and followed us, and we always felt very honoured whenever they showed up. We’ll probably see them again when we make it over back there.” Battles play Vicar Street on 15th May

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College Tribune

15th April 2008

Panic in needle park Cathy Buckmaster pays a trip to the D’Olier Street Blood Donor Clinic to give blood, discovering that it’s not even close to the ordeal it’s hyped up to be

Every year thousands of patients require blood transfusions in hospitals around Ireland for many reasons. Some may need a transfusion because they are undergoing surgery; others because they are recovering from cancer or some have been in a serious accident. Giving blood is something that we can all do to help alleviate the demand, and for students who fear that it is a painful experience, it can be helpful to look past the various myths that surround the process.

Upon my entry into the clinic, I was almost immediately seen to by a member of staff in the waiting area. The staff members were extremely warm and friendly and there was no lengthy (and fear-inducing period) wait for my turn to donate. The area where donations are taken is out of sight from the waiting area so anyone who is fearful of the sight of blood or needles need not worry about an agonising wait watching others donate. The first order of business is to read

a leaflet about donating blood and to fill in a very straightforward health and lifestyle questionnaire with tickthe-box answers. It involves simple questions such as whether you have a cold, whether you’ve had a piercing recently or whether you’ve been out of the country The information given is treated in the strictest confidence. If you are unsure as to whether you can give blood due to personal matters, you can request to be seen by a doctor or nurse in a private room and they will

One, two, three… now breathe As the pink blossoms dot the trees of UCD, Fiona Redmond tries to control the rising levels of panic while she talks to students and counsellors about how to manage exam stress Thanks to modularisation and continuous assessment, most subjects are broken up into presentations, essays and attendance, all of which helps to alleviate the pressure to perform well in the end of term exam. However, when exams are looming, it is quite easy to slip into a state of panic. “I only have four exams this year,” explains Final Year student Karina Bracken, “but with only a month to go, I still have 10,000 words of essay work to hand in before I can even think of studying.” The continuous demands placed on students to hand in assignments regularly, leaves some students unable to focus on the big picture. “We have so much to hand up at the end of term and it’s worth so much, that it leaves very little time for actual study,” explains another Final Year student Sarah Toland. However, there is light at the end of the tunnel, and there are various techniques employed by students to make the load easier. “I ﬁnd that the hardest thing to do is to start studying now and not put it oﬀ,” explains Bracken “It really helps me when I make up a detailed timetable before I begin. Then once I get stuck in, it’s not so bad.”

Making a timetable is both a logical and necessary step towards conquering your stress. Even taking a minute to put your pen to paper will make you feel better because you are starting to put the ball in motion. For those of you who are tempted to leave everything to the last minute and stay up all night, Arts Student Advisor Aisling O’Grady, warns against the tactic. “Pulling all-nighters is such a bad idea. If you feel you need more study, go to bed and get up early. Every year there are students that we worry about because their papers are gibberish and it transpires that they’ve stayed up all night before the exam. And even when you think you’re doing brilliantly, you’re usually not.” According to health experts, when students cram into the early hours, not only will they be exhausted the next day but it will seriously impact on the work submitted. O’Grady is keen to dispel the myth surrounding energy drinks and tablets. “Using false stimulants like red bull or glucose tablets are not good for you either. They will not help your academic performance; you’re better oﬀ going to bed early, eating properly and looking

WHAT’S IN: CORAL NECKLACES Everyone knows you got it on Grafton Street. Give it up. JUNK EMAILS For the last time, I do not actually have any need for Viagra.

a er yourself.” Teaching yourself to relax is crucial, and deep-breathing exercises as well as physical activity can be helpful ways to calm down. Ultimately however, it is important to remember that a bit of stress is normal and o en helps to provide the motivation to get going. There are many facilities in UCD that can help students cope with pressure coming up to the exam period. Many people are unaware that there is a nurse stationed in every exam centre for students who might suﬀer from panic attacks or feel unwell. Also if you feel like you are sinking under pressure, make an appointment to see your Student Advisor who will be able to help.

Tips to avoid exam stress: ■ Get organized and begin studying ASAP. ■ Make a study timetable. ■ Eat healthy food. ■ Get your sleep. ■ Talk to somebody if you feel under pressure.

FAIR TRADE FASHION It’s an easy step to change from a selfish to selfless fashonista. LIBRARY SUPER-FINES

let you know. A er filling out the questionnaire and declaring that I understood it and that it was true and accurate to the best of my knowledge, I was brought across to a nurse who checked to see if my iron levels were high enough to give blood. It is a precaution for the benefit of the donor, as they want to be sure your iron is high enough to donate. This procedure is carried out quickly and harmlessly by the nurse who tests a small drop of blood from the tip of your finger in a process that you will barely notice has happened. If your iron levels are too low, they won’t take your blood. However, if your blood passes this test and they will be able to accept a donation straight away. I was then brought into a big open room behind the reception area and led to a reclined chair in which I was to give blood. A pressure cuff was put around my upper arm so as make the veins more prominent and the area where they would insert the needle was cleansed with antiseptic. As a person who dreads the thought of needles, I was shocked with how virtually painlessly and efficiently it was inserted by the doctor. The sensation felt like a slight pinch which lasted no more than a second. I was asked to continually squeeze an object in my hand to ensure a smooth and consistent blood flow. This process, during which the blood is transferred from the needle to the blood bag, is absolutely painless and, for the benefit of the squeamish, the blood bag is kept out of sight of the donor. Donors are never le alone, and a donor attendant is never was out of sight, keeping a close eye on those donating to ensure everyone is feeling ok and calm about their procedures. The bag was filled in approximately ten minutes, a er which a small dressing was applied and I was asked to press firmly on the place of the insertion to prevent bruising. I was led to a canteen to rest for as long or as little as I wanted, depending on how well I felt. Sometimes donors can experience dizziness and nausea a er a donation and are encouraged to sit still or lie down until the feelings pass. Sweets, sandwiches and drinks are all offered and available free of charge. I was advised to help myself

Even though most of us have already clocked up a small fortune, look on the bright side. Maybe now some of us will have a chance at getting that illusive core text book that’s been on

GLADIATOR SANDALS These knee-length strappy sandals, making tree trunks out of the slimmest calves, are a no-go this summer.

and to refrain from engaging in any strenuous activity and to wait a couple of hours before I smoked or drank alcohol. Unexpectedly, I really did feel ﬁne a er I donated. The thought that what I had just done could possibly save one to three lives was, for want of a better word, a bit of a buzz. Anyone who can, should give blood donation a go and encourage their friends to do likewise as it really does save lives. For more information on blood donation, you can phone their information line on 1850 731 137, Monday to Friday from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Alternatively, you can visit the website on www. ibts.ie.

reserve since January. The Trench coat Effortlessly elegant and perfectly suited for those slightly warm yet rainy summer months ahead.

WHAT’S OUT:

FASHION

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College Tribune

15th April 2008

Attention to detail Celebrated couturier Helen Cody talks to Cathy Buckmaster about her work as an international designer and emphasizes that the beauty is really in the details when it comes to her unique creations

Helen Cody, a world renowned couture fashion designer based in Ireland, has a curriculum vitae of experience in the fashion world t h a t

spans almost two decades. A er graduating from the National College of Art and Design, she travelled to Paris to work for French Vogue and then on to work with international designer Azzedine Alaia. Cody explains that from day one, fashion was her burning. “I always wanted to be a fashion designer. I have a very talented mother so I started making things from when I was ridiculously little. I was five years of age making my first handbag. “I visited NCAD when I was in first year in school and thought ‘Absolutely, that’s it, that’s where I’m going.’ I didn’t even apply to another college and luckily I got in.” Ireland is o en looked upon as a very minor player in the international fashion scene, so for an Irish designer there’s an added challenge to make their mark on the international industry. “It’s a much smaller market and that’s something that works against designers here. The quality of the work is as good but unfortunately the market isn’t as big. “Unfortunately, to do well, you have to leave the country or do what I do, which is to completely ignore the market production end of things and go into couture. I specialise in a much more highly specific niche business.” Cody’s designs are very unique, with a precision of detailing and cut adding to their unusual charm. “What I do is couture, everything I do is to order, and I don’t do any mass production. I used to do it and I was selling at forty stores at one point but I found it didn’t suit me. “What I’m good at, what I specialise in, is the very laborious hand making, hand dying, embellishing, finishing, working on sculptural pieces that go to

the Oscars and to opening nights. That’s where I’m much more comfortable.” The fashion business is renowned for being diﬃcult for newcomers to break into. Cody reﬂects on this competitive element. “I wouldn’t like to be in a young designer’s shoes right now because it’s much more competitive than it was in my day. “It’s so long ago since I did it and I was a bit ground breaking because I became a stylist when the word didn’t even exist. I went straight form NCAD over to work in Paris. I came back and I said, ‘Ok guys, there’s a thing called a stylist around the rest of the world and it hasn’t hit Dublin yet.’ Now of course, they’re ten a penny.” She laughs. Cody’s spring collection can be viewed online and it really is breathtaking. The subtle femininity, and simple but classic silhouettes and attention to detail really make each piece resemble a work of art. She describes her current collection

in a nutshell. “It’s very fi ies inspired, there’s a lot of texturing on fabrics and origami work on the actual surface of the bandeau part of the dresses. There are high-waisted, very narrow Audrey Hepburn pants, embellished egg-shaped coats, Swarovski crystals, laser-cut petal dresses, hand-dyed feather and ballerina dresses.” As for what makes Helen Cody’s work unique, she modestly explains what makes her different. “Well I would hope it’s the attention to detail, the choice of fabric, and the finish. “When somebody comes to the studio to choose something, they look at a sample but ultimately I design for the person. It’s very specific because an extra inch here and there can make a massive difference to how something sits on a body. I change proportions for people so it’s really a bespoke service; it’s unique to the wearer. The one thing I’ve learned is that you have to be specific to the customer.”Cody also explains an

invention that she is obviously quite proud of. “We’ve created these ‘waspies’ that go inside the waist so we have that real fi ies broken rib silhouette without the actual pain of breaking your ribs.” She jokes. “My ladies love it actually because it not like going the gym, you lose three inches off your waist without any pain and it’s not like those silly magic pants that everyone wears, but more like a lovely piece of lingerie.” As for her favourite aspect of fashion design, she has no uncertainties and passionately exclaims, “My fashion shows, without a shadow of a doubt. You spend days and nights for two and a half months working your butt off and you’re given a tiny window of twenty minutes to impress the world. “It’s that moment when it all comes together that probably makes me do what I do. It’s that moment when all the work, all the drawings, all the research, all the preparation and all the passion, become completely worth it. I produce all my own shows and when you see twenty models lined up backstage ready to walk out and you’ve got your music and your lighting, there’s nothing like it, it’s amazing.” For any aspiring fashion designers looking to make a start, Cody offers some sound advice. “I’d say travel immediately. Leave the country as fast as your little legs can carry you, not because there’s anything wrong with getting experience here but it’s more limited. “Aim high. When I le NCAD, I said that I wanted to work at Vogue and I got a job there because I dug my heels in and I really had to annoy them but it worked - I didn’t give up.” She concludes confidently, “I would say persist even if you feel like you’re annoying somebody and absolutely travel because you’ve got the rest of your life to be stuck in a job, you might as well have some adventures and go for it.”

Glamorous femininity Zoë Jordan, one half of fashion due Irwin and Jordan, speaks to Cathy Buckmaster about breaking new ground as an up-and-coming fashion designer and about designing real clothes for real women Zoë Jordan is one half of the fashion design team behind the recently established Irwin and Jordan label, launched in the summer of 2008. Joining forces in 2006, the two women le their jobs in brand consultancy and ﬁnance to begin their long-awaited careers in fashion design. Jordan is exceptional in the fact that she never studied at a design college. “I have never studied fashion as I was in ﬁnance. A er a business degree I went to work for HSBC in New York and then followed up with a couple of years at Credit

Suisse in London. “But I have always been very creative, and a er years and years of 5am starts, I ﬁnally earned enough money to follow my passion.” Jordan describes her creations as “a sophisticated daywear brand. It is a unique label which provides clothes that combine simplicity and quality as well as fashion and durability. “The main inﬂuence for the collection was Diane Keaton, particularly in her role as Woody Allen’s Annie Hall. There is a feeling of sexy androgyny. The collection combines masculine high-waisted trousers,

tailored shirts and tuxedo jackets with ultra feminine dresses and sheer blouses.” The Irwin and Jordan Autumn/ Winter collection varies from the summer collection, leaning more towards a thrown-on glamour idea. The concept for the collection was to combine classic and timeless style with a distinctive and modern edge by retaining simple silhouettes, clean lines and strong blocks of colour and it succeeds in appearing easy to wear and eﬀortlessly fashionable.” Jordan explains the creative

process behind this collection. “We looked to the 1930s for creative influence. We focused specifically on 1930’s film and glossy glamour that came as standard but with a modern attitude, saving nothing for best, but rather, wearing your best everyday.” As for the kind of women they design their collections for, Jordan defines the perfect prototype for their designs. “Women who like to stand out but with dignity, those who are discerning, intelligent and quietly confident. As a tom boy at heart, I am dedicated to creating an aesthetic that is androgynous, yet still sexy.”

Siren

ARTS

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College Tribune

15th April 2008

Sizzling summer cinema As summer approaches, prepare yourselves for a smorgasbord of sensational cinema. Cian Taaffe previews the summer film season and examines the biggest and most-hyped films coming to a cinema near you Iron Man Over the last few years, big-screen adaptations of Marvel Comics characters have been incredibly successful and enjoyable to sit through. The latest of these adaptations sees Robert Downey Junior take on the role of Tony Stark, aka Iron Man. Perhaps Iron Man isn’t as wellknown as Spiderman or the X-Men, but with the cast also featuring Samuel L. Jackson, Jeff Bridges, Hilary Swank and Gwyneth Paltrow, it shouldn’t matter and it looks as though Iron Man will fare just as well in the box office as any previous comic book endeavours. With the special effects looking just as impressive as last year’s hit Transformers, this is a safe bet for some mindless entertainment. Release Date: May 2nd

Speed Racer Written and directed by the Wachowski brothers, (The Matrix, V for Vendetta), this film is based on a classic 1960s cartoon. With names such as Emile Hirsch (Into the Wild), Matthew Fox (Lost), Christina Ricci (Sleepy Hollow) and Susan Sarandon (The Rocky Horror Picture) employing their talent, one would imagine Speed Racer to be the perfect recipe for a fantastic movie. However, trailers for the upcoming film are not promising and although it is bound to be a box office success no matter what, this film should be approached with caution. Those who were fans of the cartoon may be in for a lacklustre adaptation. Release Date: May 9th

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull Harrison Ford reprises his role as the world’s coolest architect, Indiana Jones, for the first time since 1989, in the fourth instalment of the popular film series. Initially critics were sceptical about the usual formula of reintroducing a popular ‘80s films and bringing back actors who are a bit past their sell by date at this stage. However, the critics can get it wrong, as Die Hard 4.0, Rocky Balboa and Rambo 4 have showed, so Indy’s latest adventure can be held in high expectations. With the fresh talent of Shia LaBeouf thrown into the mix, Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is bound to be one of the hottest releases of the summer. Definitely one to watch. Release Date: May 22nd

Sex and the City: The Movie Run for the hills, hide behind your sofa, or take oﬀ for somewhere exotic and cinema-less for a couple of weeks, because Sarah Jessica Parker and her femi-

nine friends are back and this time they’re going to be several times larger than usual. Those who thought all their Christmases had come at once when this monstrosity of a series was cancelled and who thought it was ﬁnally safe to turn the TV sets back on, are going be incredibly disappointed. Sex and the City: The Movie is bound to be at least as horrifying and mindbogglingly boring as the original TV series was. For those interested in the mindless trials and tribulations of Carrie Bradshaw and her cronies, you’re in for a treat - everyone else must suﬀer in silence. One to avoid. Release Date: May 28th

Prom Night Here comes another attempt from Hollywood to produce a terrifying teen thriller. We get it now – Scream and I Know What You Did Last Summer were quite entertaining, but it’s becoming blatantly obvious that this tired formula just doesn’t work anymore. Talk about flogging a dead horse. Once again, no actors with any sort of a reputation were caught dead in this poor excuse for a film, so we’re le with names like Brittany Snow and Dana Davis (eh, who?). The only reason for seeing this film is if you enjoy seeing rich, pretentious, apparently attractive American teens being needlessly and unjustly slaughtered. Release Date: May 30th

The Incredible Hulk The second Marvel release this summer will be The Incredible Hulk, which thankfully is not a sequel to the 2003 ﬁasco that was Hulk. This time around we’ll see Ed Norton (Fight Club, American History X) taking on the role of our hero, Bruce

Banner. The cast will include Liv Tyler, Tim Roth, William Hurt and we’ll also see an Incredible Hulk/Iron Man crossover with Robert Downey Junior reprising his role as the aforementioned Tony Stark/Iron Man. The special eﬀects look great and it seems that the storyline has been well thought out, so the legend of The Incredible Hulk may well redeem itself a er the poor version released in 2003. Release Date: June 13th

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian Prince Caspian is the second novel in C.S. Lewis’ The Chronicles of Narnia series and this Hollywood adaptation will take over where The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe le oﬀ. Joining Peter, Susan, Edmund, Lucy, Aslan and the White Witch this time is Prince Caspian, played by Ben Barnes. We are also introduced to Reepicheep, voiced by Eddie Izzard, and Nikabrik and Trumpkin, played by Warwick Davis and Peter Dinklage respectively. Prince Caspian promises to be more action-packed than 2005’s The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, and will hopefully be as accessible to both fans of the original book series and newcomers to the series. Release Date: June 26th

The Dark Knight The long-awaited sequel to Batman Begins is ﬁnally on its way. Christian Bale, once again throws on the suit of our beloved Batman to

take on his biggest nemesis, The Joker, who will be played by the late Heath Ledger in one of his ﬁnal roles. We’ll also see Michael Caine, Gary Oldman, Cillian Murphy and Morgan Freeman reprise their previous roles, while Katie Holmes will be replaced by Maggie Gyllenhaal as Rachel Dawes, and with Anthony Michael Hall (The Breakfast Club) and Nestor Carbonell (Lost) joining the cast. The Dark Knight is the one ﬁlm that should not be missed this summer, and is sure to be a guaranteed winner. Release Date: July 25th

Pineapple Express Freaks and Geeks alumni Seth Rogen (Knocked Up) and James Franco (Spiderman) take on the roles of Dale Denton, a lazy stoner, and his drug dealer Saul Silver in this latest comedy, Pineapple Express, from the writers of Superbad. Pineapple Express is a rare strain of cannabis, which Denton is smoking as he witnesses a murder - he then panics and drops the roach at the crime scene.

Silver then reveals that Pineapple Express is so rare that the murderers could easily trace it back to him, so in fear of their lives Dale and Saul go on the run. If you enjoyed Superbad, you’re bound to love this. Release Date: September 12th

Step Brothers From the guys who brought you Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby comes Step Brothers, starring Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly as Brendan and Dale - two middle-aged, down and outs, who sponge off their parents. However when Brendan’s mother and Dale’s father tie the knot, the two are forced to live together. At first Brendan and Dale despise one another, but soon become best friends. This may not offer us anything new, that we haven’t seen from Ferrell or Reilly in any of their previous escapades, but it’s sure to make you giggle. Release Date: August 22nd

ARTS

Siren TH E

College Tribune

15th April 2008

Juggling stardom and essays Cian Taaffe convinces Linda Bhreathnach to take a break from her college assignments to talk about the juggling act required to balance an acting career, a degree course and a social life all at once “I decided I wanted to be an actress at the ripe old age of five, according to the folks. A er a brief spell of wanting to be a baker, (figuring I could make my own cakes) I opted for acting. Unfortunately, now I have to pay for my cakes and pastries. I got involved in various dramas in school, won a little prize at the Oireachtas, joined a drama group in Galway and then a er my leaving cert I auditioned for Ros na Rún and they thankfully gave me a job.” Actress Linda Bhreathnach who, at the young age of 25, has appeared in some of TG4’s most successful dramas including Ros na Rún, The Running Mate and Seacht, is in an expansive mood. “I don’t really get on with any of the people I work with,” she remarks. Alas, this actress is not about to dish the dirt on her fellow actors and actresses. “I’m just kidding of course - I get on well with everybody, most notably my partner in crime Sorcha Ní Chéide, who plays my sister Ríona on Ros na Rún. Honestly almost all of my friendships have been formed on film sets, aside from childhood friends and the like.” When she’s not on set filming, Bhreathnach is focused on her Arts degree in NUIG, but reveals that even though she may not see acting as a life time career, it will always play a pivotal role in her life. “I don’t know how long I’d survive

without acting. It’s essential to me - I need it as an artistic outlet, so although I may go down the academic route (which seems unlikely at times, especially since I’m doing an interview when I should be working on an essay), I think I will always have a place in my life for acting. I suppose I might end up acting as a hobby though, rather than professionally.”

“It’s quite difficult to have a social life, but nobody is forcing me to do any of this, so I can hardly complain” Most college students struggle to study and maintain an active social life as it is. So what happens to your social life when you throw a major role on TG4’s highest rated show, Ros na Rún, into the mix? “Social life? What’s a social life?” Bhreathnach asks jokingly, before continuing, “It’s quite diﬃcult to have one, but nobody is forcing me to do any of this, so I can hardly complain. Besides working on any of the acting projects I’ve done feels good - I feel like I’ve learnt a lot and got the chance to work

with some really great people. Bhreathnach speaks glowingly of Carrie Crowley, her co-star on The Running Mate. “She really helped me along and gave me more confidence in what I was doing. She was so supportive and she’s such a great actress - I learnt a lot from her. It was pretty daunting for me at the start with a cast that included the likes of Don Wycherly, Sean McGinley, Frank Kelly, Carrie Crowley and Denis Conway. I was wondering if I was in the right place when I first got to rehearsals, but then Carrie took me under her wing (although she doesn’t actually have wings).” Having already worked with quite a few big names in the Irish film industry, Bhreathnach speculates about the international actors she’d like to work alongside most. “There are so many great actors out there, but I like to aim high, so I think it would be pretty cool to work with someone like Al Pacino maybe someday.” Having your face appear on the televi-

sion a couple of times a week will most likely lead to recognition when you’re out and about, a development which Bhreathnach explains can sometimes make her feel a tad uncomfortable. “I get recognized every now and then - I am generally chuﬀed, but also uncomfortable. I don’t know why that is really, but that’s life. “I’d give anyone who wants to get

into acting, the same advice anyone else would give - keep at it and don’t get disheartened if you don’t get the first part you audition for. Grow a thick skin too,” advises the actress. So, with filming for Ros na Rún coming to a close for the year, what can Bhreathnach see herself doing in the near future? “I’m going to have a cup of tea and a sandwich, and then I’m going to finish my essay.”

FILM RETROSPECTIVE

Crowe’s Cult Classic Cameron Crowe, director of the critically acclaimed Jerry McGuire, created one of the most well loved coming-of-age dramatic comedies of all time back in 2000, when he wrote and directed, Almost Famous. The ﬁlm tells the story of high-school student, William Miller (Patrick Fugit), who has a passion for both journalism and music and is given the unexpected opportunity to go on tour with up-andcoming rock band, Stillwater, and to write an no-holds-barred article about them for Rolling Stone magazine. The ﬁlm begins with an insight into William’s childhood, in which his overbearing mother (Frances McDormand) attempts to shelter William and his sister (Zooey Deschanel) from life’s realities, by censoring everything they do. William is oblivious to the fact that his mother is preventing him from living a normal childhood and it isn’t until a falling out between his mother and his sister that William sees the truth.

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Almost Famous (2000)

When he eventually is given the opportunity to discover “real” music, rather than merely being allowed to listen to The Chipmunks, William finds his true passion in life. Several years later, in 1973, William, who doesn’t have many friends, spends most of his time listening to and reviewing music. When William meets Penny Lane (Kate Hudson), a “Band-Aide” (not a groupie), and the band Stillwater, William’s life takes a drastic change, so when Rolling Stone offer him a chance to go on tour with Stillwater, William jumps at the opportunity, despite his mother’s efforts to prevent the trip. Once he steps foot on the tour bus, William’s innocence is le behind in his hometown and he is introduced to an alcohol-drinking, drug-consuming, sex-filled lifestyle. At first William merely wants to interview the band,

tag along for a few gigs and then head home, however, when band member Russell Hammond (Billy Crudup) keeps procrastinating, William must remain on tour to get his scoop. Almost Famous is funny, charismatic and a roller-coaster ride of entertainment. Not only does it contain a love triangle, a fallout and reunion of the band, an acid-trip involving a roo op and a swimming pool, and an incident on an airplane, Almost Famous is blessed with an incredible soundtrack and almost manages to make Elton John sound cool. Winning 45 awards in the year of its release, including one Oscar, Almost Famous gave Kate Hudson the breakthrough role she had been searching for, and she remains one of the most talented actresses in Hollywood today. The ﬁlm also featured an incredible ensemble cast, who gave fantastic performances, including Jason Lee (Mallrats, Dogma), Fairuza Balk (The

Cra , American History X) and Phillip Seymour Hoffman (Twister, The Big Lebowski). Crowe based Almost Famous on his own experiences as a teenage writer, going on tour with the likes of Led Zeppelin and Lynyrd Skynyrd. Crowe’s knowledge of the industry is apparent throughout the film and although Stillwater are a fictional band, the story

remains realistic enough and the actors credible enough, to make one truly believe that this ﬁlm could be an actual account of a real band. Despite its under-performance at the box oﬃce upon its initial release, Almost Famous remains one of the most heart-warming cult classics of our time.

Cian Taaffe

Siren

BOOKS

TH E THE

College Tribune

15th April 2008

Everyday Magic Susanne O’Reilly reviews Blackberry Wine, a novel written by the same author who brought us Chocolat, Joanne Harris. ■ ■

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Joanne Harris is probably better known for her novel Chocolat, which was so successfully transferred to the silver screen, with Johnny Depp and Juliette Binoche playing the leads. Let’s face it, when Johnny Depp is cast to star in a film adaptation of your book, you must be doing something right. Blackberry Wine has a similar whimsical storyline, and is set in the same small French village of Lansquenet –sur-Tanne, yet its main characters are quite different. Jay Mackintosh is a burnt-out writer from England, living off the success of his only bestseller, Three Summers with Jackapple Joe. The novel was based on his own encounters with a mysterious man called Joe Cox, who enthralled a teenage Jay with tales of his wild adventures abroad, and taught him how to grow exotic fruits, vegetables and flowers in any type of soil. But by the end of Jay’s third summer with Joe, the gloss has begun to wear off their relationship and Jay’s belief in Joe’s everyday alchemy involving herbs and pig-latin incantations begins to falter. In a Peter Pan-esque turn, Jay’s scepticism in itself proves to be his downfall, when the charms he only half-heartedly believes in fail to protect him from a local bully. Jay goes back to school without saying goodbye to Joe, and does not return for almost fi een years, when he finds Joe’s house deserted, except for six bottles of ‘Specials’ – fruit wines, made by Joe himself – and a packet of ‘jackapple’ seeds (jackapples, apparently, are potatoes that can be used for making spirits and preserving fruits.)

On an impulse, brought on by drinking one of these ‘specials’, Jay buys a house in Lansquenet, which is similar to one Joe once showed him in a brochure, and moves to France right away, where he ﬁnally begins to write, and is plagued by visions of Joe. He encounters many of the villagers whom readers of Chocolat will recognize, and eventually earns their friendship – all except Marise d’Api, his reclusive neighbour, and her seven year-old daughter Rosa. Fascinated by Marise, and the rumours that she murdered her husband, Jay works her into his new novel, all the time desperately trying to get her to speak to him. It is the blackberry wine le by Joe which eventually works its magic and breaks down Marise’s barriers and earn her trust.

Meanwhile, his publisher and his delightfully obnoxious, over-ambitious ex-girlfriend Kerry track him down and embark on a crusade to make Lansquenet part of a new television programme. This, of course, would destroy the peace and tranquility of Lansquenet, making it just another tourist spot in the south of France. It is up to Jay, with the help of Marise and Rosa, to ﬁnd enough belief in the old magic to protect the village from commercialization. Corny? Deﬁnitely. Thoroughly entertaining? Absolutely. The magic in the story is described so simply and convincingly that even the most rabid sceptic will have to concede a point or two on this one. This is no Indiana Jones adventure, and probably more of a book for girls, but Harris’ writing is taut and clever, her storylines neatly tied up, and her wit sharp. Joe, a coal miner all his life, is a lovable character, a bit like everyone’s granddad, whose appearances are always enjoyable and whose manners stand in stark contrast to the quaint local people and customs. Jay, although a grown man, is still very much a teenager at heart and even at his most blind and stupid, is oddly endearing. If this book doesn’t make you want to jump on a plane to southern France tomorrow and start growing potatoes, nothing will.

■ Joanne Harris

■ Niccolo Ammaniti

Scary stuff Helen O’Sullivan explores the world of nine year old Michele conjured by the critically acclaimed I’m Not Scared and discovers that it is not so sweet I’m Not Scared is Niccolo Ammaniti’s third novel, enjoying huge success in the author’s native country Italy, and making its transition to the big screen in Gabriele Salvatores 2004 hit. The novel is set during a searing hot summer in the Italian countryside of 1978, still remembered in Italy today for the duration and ferocity of the seasonal heat. While the adults of the small rural town of Aqua Traverse stay sheltered in the shade, the six young children of the town find nothing to do other than to explore their surroundings by bike. Nine year old Michele Amitrano is one of these boys and the novel is told through his narrative. Whilst out exploring the countryside, Michele offers to climb up and explore an abandoned warehouse. What Michele discovers in here is a secret so earth-shattering that he dare not tell a single soul, as its revelation would destroy the community in which he grew up. As the plot develops through the eyes of the boy, the reader is introduced to a portrait of a boy in danger of losing his innocence; pulled into conflict with the adult world, he is unable to understand its bitter truths. As a result he is forced to question all that surrounds him, including family, friends and eventually, God. With his innocence evaporated, he must learn

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I'm not scared Niccolo Ammaniti

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to overcome his fears and weaknesses alone. The choices young Michele is forced to make lead the reader to a stunning climax, a climax which forces the boy to learn the meaning of life in a heartbreaking pool of simplicity. One of the important relationships focused on in the tale is that between adult and child, and once you plummet into this novel, it quickly becomes apparent that the character of the adult is a distant one to the child. Through this perspective, the vagaries of childhood are subtly revealed. These themes permeate the novel with a universal element of understanding, an element which cannot be captured by the camera lens in Hollywood. The rudiments of the plot are far from original, revolving around a traditional coming-of-age motif. But perhaps it is the classic Italian setting with its unpredictable characters that will catch the reader oﬀ-guard. To this eﬀect the reader is le as clueless as the narrator throughout the plot. Comparisons have been made of this novel by many, with the Stephen King novels and To Kill a Mockingbird o en

mentioned. These comparisons do not do justice to Ammaniti’s masterpiece however, with his astute style of narrative leaving the words of Harper Lee seeming frivolous. Ultimately, this book is a sensational experience – we are drawn into a turning point in Michele’s life as he questions the things that he has always taken for granted. Ammaniti has created a work of art in which he plays not a single false note. It is a truly accomplished work - nothing less than a coming-ofage magnum opus.