10 STEPS TO AN UNFORGETTABLE WEDDING RECEPTION

10 STEPS TO AN UNFORGETTABLE RECEPTION

1THE BUDGET The greatest factor to affect your budget will be the number of guests you invite. So, even though you’re ready to burst with excitement over your engagement, keep the wedding chatter to a minimum until you’ve set the budget and know exactly how many guests you can realistically invite.

WHO PAYS FOR WHAT

Will the two of you be paying for the entire event yourselves, or will your parents be contributing? As awkward as it may feel to ask, it’s important for the harmony of the family to get a firm answer of exactly how much each set of parents is planning to contribute. The days of the bride’s parents paying for the majority of the wedding are long past. So any support offered should be appreciated.

PARENT CONTRIBUTIONS Before discussing their contribution,

do some research

on overall costs for the wedding you’re envisioning. If they’re lending financial support, it’s likely they’ll expect to have some input and the right to invite friends, extended family and business associates that you would otherwise not invite.

Have an idea of how many guests you’re willing to let them invite (which, realistically, will be affected by how much they’re able to contribute) and a few meetings or decisions you’d like them to be involved in, such as the catering and cake tastings, viewing invitation options, etc. It doesn’t mean you have to take their opinions over your own—it’s simply a way of including them in the wedding planning process.

2AN EVENT PLANNER A common hurdle for brides considering an event planner is the idea of relinquishing control. In reality, you’re not giving up control at all. You’re simply enlisting the services of someone with the organizational skills and resources to bring your vision to life. They do the footwork and research that allows you to make informed, intelligent decisions. Here’s a list of standard services:

An initial face-to-face appointment to review your ideas, expectations and preliminary budget. • Make suggestions and research options.

Create an overview that accommodates your tastes, preferences and budget. •

Provide a list of recommended service providers (vendors).

Assist with the selection of vendors, should you so desire.

Schedule appointments with the vendors being considered.

Review all contracts.

Develop a detailed timeline for the ceremony, cocktail hour and reception. •

Develop a detailed floor plan.

Stay in communication with the selected vendors.

Confirm timeline several days before the wedding and provide final version to you and all vendors. •

Be on-site the day of your wedding to see that all service providers are on time and set-ups are proceeding smoothly and on schedule, and any emergencies are dealt with promptly.

EVENT DESIGNERS If you’re looking for someone to create a total design concept for your wedding, what you really need is an event designer. They offer creative design for the entire event, ensuring all elements compliment one another and support the overall design theme. Hire them in the early planning st ages so they can be involved from the get-go.

THE GUEST LIST Controlling your guest list will enable you to focus more time, 3 attention and budget to the details that make a wedding so unique: the location, invitations, table décor, menu selection, music and other elements that are often limited by large guest lists.

Begin by separating your list into two groups: one comprised of friends and family you simply must have at your wedding,and the other comprised of those with whom you’d like to have, but whose absence you can accept. On average, about 20 percent of your invitees will be unable to attend. As you begin to receive regrets from the first list, immediately send invitations to the like to have list. To reduce the level of discomfort when the topic of your wedding comes up in front of fringe-friends and coworkers not invited, exercise a little discretion. Avoid talking about it compulsively and limit Twitter

and Facebook updates. Nobody likes knowing that everyone else is invited to a super cool party except for them. So, be discrete.

SINGLE FRIENDS

If a single friend is engaged o r in a s e rio u s relationship and you know the par tner, by all means include them. However, you’re not obligated t o i n c l u d e a n a d d i t i o n a l guest for a single friend.

CHILDREN If you prefer not to have children at the reception, use the invitation to relay your preference. Refrain from using the phrase “no children.” Instead, opt for the more subtle verbiage of, “adult only reception.” An acceptable compromise is including the children at the ceremony, and providing childcare and a separate children’s menu for the reception.

PAPER + INK Paper elements are the most effective 4 way to translate your theme throughout the entire event. Here’s a list of the various paper elements to consider:

Save-the-Date Cards Wedding Invitations Inner and Outer Envelopes Reception Cards (if location is different than ceremony) Response Cards and self-addressed stamped envelope Directions (ceremony to reception) Ceremony Program Dinner + Drink Menus Table Numbers Escort Cards (for specific table) Place Cards (for specific seat) Favor Tags Signage—Welcome, Gifts, Restrooms, Etc. Thank You Notes Announcements

Send your save-the-date cards as soon as the location is booked, especially if the wedding date falls on or near a holiday or school break. A word of caution—avoid committing yourself until you’re absolutely sure of how many guests your budget can accommodate. Once your save-the-date cards have been sent, you’re committed.

THE VENUE Once you have a solid estimate of your guest count, begin the 5 venue search. Choosing a venue is very much like going house hunting. Having a list of your top wants will save you time.

Do you want the ceremony and reception at the same location? Are you planning on having a formal sit-down dinner or buffet? Will you need space for a band or will you have a DJ? What type of venue are you envisioning- historical, ultra modern, by the water, lots of windows and light, etc.? Do you want a venue that has overnight accommodations? Do you want an indoor or outdoor location? Do you want to bring your own caterer? Do you want to bring your own liquor? Do you need an area for child care?

SITE INSPECTION

While websites are great for initial research, plan to do an actual site tour. If you’ve hired an event planner, take the tour together. Take note of the following:

• Inspect equipment—gazebos, dance floor, tables, chairs, china, stemware, glassware, etc. •

What is included in the rental fee?

Are there additional costs to consider?

Ask about staffing. Is security staff required?

How many servers will there be per table?

Who is the facility coordinator on the day of your wedding?

Ask about same-day bookings. Confirm privacy and separation from other events; adequate parking; and enough time for your service providers to set-up, breakdown and load-out.

Ask when they begin calculating rental time. Is it from the moment your caterer or designers arrive, or the running time of the reception? • Inspect florals, greenery and landscaping. Love the trailing wisteria? Book your reception when it’s in full bloom. •

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SPACE ALLOCATION

Knowing a few standard guidelines regarding space allocation will help you make more accurate decisions.

Floor space required per person for a cocktail reception is 7 sq. ft. The space required per guest for dining only is 10 sq. ft. For dining with a dance floor and band or DJ, the space needed is 15-20 sq. ft.

Once you know the total square footage of your potential reception site, simply multiply the number of guests by the appropriate square footage above to see whether or not the space will accommodate your guest list.

BOOKING THE SITE

Secure your location before hiring all of your service providers. If you have your heart set on a particular venue, then by all means book it 12 to 18 months out. If you’re flexible about your venue selection and are open to different options, you can actually plan a wedding in 4 to 6 months.

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CATERING

If you are in a position to select your own caterer, try to narrow your list immediately to no more than three. When calling each caterer, have as much information ready as possible – your wedding date, reception location, time of day, approximate number of guests, and degree of formality and theme.

FOODIES UNITE

Do you harbor a secret obsession for the Food Network? If so, you’re in good company. Couples across the country are releasing their inner-foodie, using both the cocktail party and reception to share their passion for the culinary arts. From Thai to Indian, Italian to Vietnamese, seafood to vegetarian, let your palate inspire. What better way to personalize your day than by sharing your secret love affair with food? The size and generational span of your guest list will influence selections, so take a quick look at your list before placing your final order, making sure there’s a little something for everyone.

CALCULATING THE COST Caterers calculate

their prices on a per-person basis according to the menu selection. To determine your overall food cost, simply multiply the number of guests by the cost per person. For example, if you have 150 guests and the cost of dinner and beverages is $100 per person, multiply 150 x $100 for a total food cost of $15,000. Mentally add an additional 10% for overage, and 15%-20% for the gratuity (aka service charge). Ask for prices inclusive of tax and gratuity. Alcohol will be a separate cost.

SEASONAL INGREDIENTS

Making menu selection that utilize fresh, seasonal ingredients will be more cost effective than choosing exotic or out of season ingredients. Be open to cost saving suggestions by your caterer and be realistic about what your budget can deliver.

TO PRESET OR NOT TO PRESET

Many venues encourage a preset first course. While it definitely saves time, it can also make your reception look like a charity event. Instead of presetting the salad, consider doing the first dance at the beginning of the reception. Servers can bring out the first course while guests are admiring the results of those fancy dance lessons you convinced your fiancé to take.

FINAL GUEST COUNT

Typically the final guest count is required one week before the event. This will be the minimum number of people/meals for which you will actually be charged. Most caterers will plan on the addition of a few last minute guests and will add their meals to the final bill.

RENTALS Party rentals cover a variety of items, 7 such as: tableware, linens, chair covers, tables and chairs, tents, dance floors, candelabras, fountains, plants, props, lounge furniture, vintage furniture, theme decor and more. Before contacting a rental company, have the following information available:

Your event date, time and location.

What items will be provided by the caterer: glass, flatware, china, buffet linens, etc. •

What will be provided by the facility: tables, chairs, bar, linens, arbor, etc. •

Total number of guests attending, including the bride, groom and wedding party. •

Number of wedding vendors being seated.

A tentative floor plan.

Table and chairs for your beverage service and disc jockey.

Food serving style. Buffet stations will need linens for each table and possibly props or decor. 

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CEREMONY RENTALS A great deal of focus is placed on the decor for the reception. Not to be overlooked are the elements that literally set the stage for the wedding ceremony. Arbors, columns and pillars, topiaries, candelabras and chuppahs are props and structures readily available through most rental companies.

LINENS

Before you decide on colors and theme, you owe it to yourself to visit a rental or linen company. The styles, texture, fabrics, colors and options available are staggering. A single linen can launch a flurry of ideas and imagination. When tallying the number of linens needed, don’t forget the DJ table, back bar, buffet tables and other surfaces that may need a little coverage.

TABLES & CHAIRS

In determining the number of tables and chairs needed, confirm possible extras: chairs for the ceremony, tables for the back bar, serving stations, DJ, cake and gifts. If your reception site offers an outdoor area, rent a few tall cocktail tables for guests who’ll be slipping outside to smoke or get a breath of fresh air. If there’s the chance of extreme heat or rain, reserve market umbrellas to go over the tables. These extras will also affect your linen and floral orders.

CHAIRS

If you absolutely must disguise a chair, avoid the droopy polyester and go with a Spandex cover that actually fits. If you want to add impact to your decor, rental chairs are the way to go. There are so many options—chiavari, cross-back, marais, ghost, chameleon, infinity, Louis XVI, bentwood, slotted, or folding chairs— just to name the more common styles. You’ll find many of them in the style + design section on pages 78 to 101, as well as the rental company that carries them.

DELIVERY Find out in advance what the delivery, set-up, pick

up and payment

policies are. Coordinate with the facility manager to ensure the location will be open when the rental company delivers your order and that someone will be there to direct where items should go. Arrange for someone to monitor your rental items at the end of the event, paying particular attention to gathering, counting and bagging the linens for return.

LIGHTING Nothing transforms a room as dramatically as lighting. It is the single most effective tool for creating ambiance and mood. Done properly, it can be the difference between intimate and institutional or ordinary and extraordinary. Fortunately for today’s couples, it has also become quite affordable and increasingly flexible in accommodating various venues and restrictions.

Achieve maximum impact by hiring a professional lighting company. Their ability to draw attention to key elements of décor, throw dramatic silhouettes on walls and create warmth and romance is worth the investment.

FLOWERS When interviewing a floral designer, look for their use of color, 8 texture, and overall flair. Share your ideas and your vision, and be open to their suggestions. Ask about the rentals they provide, as many have large prop closets filled with arches, chuppahs, and vases of every size, shape and style.

BE PREPARED How do you express what you want when you don’t know the names for the flowers you like? Pictures, pictures, pictures. Before your initial consultation with a floral designer, check the style + design feature on pages 78 to 101 and real weddings on pages 128 to 149 of this issue. Create a Pinterest Board to keep track of all your ideas. And of course, visit TodaysBrideSF.com to check-out the latest blogs and real weddings, then start pinning.

TIME-OF-DAY

Your florals should last throughout the day. Some flowers hold up beautifully in the sun; others are better suited for indoors. Let your designer know the time and month your wedding is taking place so they can advise you on what flowers remain perky and perfect under the palm trees, and which will wilt before the wedding reception.

CEREMONY FLOWERS Repurpose ceremony

f lowers for your reception. Ceremony floral arrangements are ideal for buffet tables, and aisle flowers can be used to decorate p owd e r ro o m s , staircases and small hallway tables. Using these items twice helps maximize your budget.

RECEPTION FLOWERS The venue will greatly influence your floral design needs. High ceilings call for bolder, more dramatic arrangements, while an outdoor venue, depending on its existing landscaping, can be accented with succulents, rustic, potted plants or flowering blooms. 

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MUSIC

There are three major segments for which to plan your music: the ceremony, the cocktail hour and the reception.

CEREMONY + VENUE RESTRICTIONS

If your ceremony is at a house of worship, inquire about possible music restrictions before booking your musicians. Likewise with your reception venue. Whether you intend to have a DJ, a band, or both, be sure to ask about any restrictions regarding the type, volume or duration of music.

BANDS The size of the band will depend on the number of guests you invite. Here’s a suggested formula for calculating the size of band you’ll need. For up to 100 guests a 3 to 4 piece band is recommended. For 100-200 guests allow for a 5 to 7 piece band; 200-300 guests, provide a 7 to 9 piece band or orchestra. The larger the band, the larger the stage—it’ll affect your floor plan.

DISC JOCKEYS Couples traditionally engage disc jockeys for their ability to provide a wide variety of music. They can play all of your favorite songs, each performed by the original artists, and because DJ’s work with prerecorded music, your entertainment is continuous, even during breaks.

SONG SELECTIONS

Provide your DJ or band with a list of songs you’d like played at the reception, as well as the song for your first dance. Keep in mind that while you may love jazz or alternative music, those types of music don’t always make great dance selections, especially for hours on end. Give your professionals the freedom to truly entertain your guests by mixing a few of your personal preferences with a balance of tried and true reception crowd pleasers. An experienced entertainer will know how to read the crowd and keep the party jumping, but only if you let them.

THE EMCEE Provide your emcee with a

schedule of events. If there are any special introductions to be made, be sure to review the correct pronunciation of the n a m e s a n d re l ay what each person’s relationship is to the bride and groom.

To avoid any awkward moments, let your emcee know about any family sensitivities. They can phrase announcements and introductions in a way to make everyone feel comfortable and acknowledged, but only if they’re aware of the situation. THE RECEPTION Your reception will account for the majority of your 10 wedding budget and planning efforts. Make the most of both by taking time to orchestrate it.

TRANSITION FROM CEREMONY TO RECEPTION Avo i d a l a r g e t i m e gap between the ceremony and reception. Out-of-town guests tend to feel a little lost; guests arrive at the reception feeling less than fresh after wearing the same celebratory clothes all day; and those with children will have to arrange for all-day childcare.

DIRECTING YOUR GUESTS If the ceremony and reception are at two different locations, designate someone to greet and guide your guests to the cocktail or reception area, or make sure there are adequate signs directing them to the proper place.

ASSIGNED SEATING If you opt for assigned seating, provide a copy of the seating chart to your caterer or event planner so they can arrange the seating cards. For open seating, reserve tables for yourselves, the bridal party, family and honored guests.

TIMELINE Most receptions last about four hours. That compressed amount of time should accommodate the following:

Cocktail Hour Formal introduction of the bride and groom Seating of guests at their tables Couple’s first dance Welcome speech or blessing Dinner service begins Toasts, to begin as the first course is served Father-daughter dance, followed by mother-son dance All guests invited to dance Cake cutting and dessert course Newlyweds make a short thank-you speech during dessert Last song, followed by couple’s departure

MAKE IT YOU! Make your wedding uniquely you by weaving your interests, hobbies, culture and passions into the tapestry of your celebration. And most importantly, don’t sweat the small stuff. It’s your wedding. Live the moment. Cherish the memories!