The Silhouette - February 26, 2021

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Volume 91, Sex & the Steel City Friday, February 26, 2021 McMaster University’s Student Newspaper

EDITORIAL BOARD !"#$%&'#(')*#!+,-,THESIL@THESIL.CA

Justin Parker "#.#$/0,1!"#/,23!)#/0#2$,-,DMS@MSU.MCMASTER.CA

Derrick Chappell 1/(/.#(.,!"#$%&,-,MANAGING@THESIL.CA

Feb. 9, 1989

LOOKING BACK Coded Messages of Love from the 80s A look back into past Valentine’s issues led us to these Silhouette “lovelines” from 1989.

Andrew Mrozowski %(0#(!,!"#$%&,-,ONLINE@THESIL.CA

Kyle West 3&%"4)$#%(,!"#$%&,-,PRODUCTION@THESIL.CA Sybil Simpson SECTIONS

NEWS ,(!52,!"#$%&,,Urszula Sitarz (!52,&!3%&$!&,,Sanya Grover NEWS@THESIL.CA FEATURES +!/$4&!2,&!3%&$!&,,Adrian Salopek FEATURES@THESIL.CA OPINION Arkilander OPINIONS@THESIL.CA

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ARTS AND CULTURE /&$2,6,)40$4&!,!"#$%&,Rya Buckley /&$2,6,)40$4&!,&!3%&$!&,Nisha Gill ARTSANDCULTURE@THESIL.CA SPORTS 23%&$2,!"#$%&,,Krishihan Sivapragasam SPORTS@THESIL.CA MULTIMEDIA 3&%"4)$#%(,)%%&"#(/$%&,Esra

Rakab

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Take some time to peruse this selection of coded messages made out to long time partners or more recent love-struck individuals. Hopefully everyone had an enjoyable Valentine’s Day like Mr. B apparently had. . . or at least received some roses.

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CONTRIBUTORS Hasham-Steele 2$/++,5&#$!&,,Nina Sartor 2$/++,5&#$!&,,Novera Shenin 2$/++,5&#$!&,,Subin Park 2$/++,5&#$!&,,Sarah Lopes Sadafi 2$/++,5&#$!&,,Jovan Popovic 3&%"4)$#%(,/22#2$/($,,Samantha McBride 2$/++,5&#$!&,,Amarah

COVER Cover by Esra Rakab and Andrew Mrozowski

LEGAL

CONTACT

The Silhouette welcomes letters to the editor in person at MUSC B110, or by email at thesil@thesil.ca. Please include name, address and telephone number for verification only. Letters should be 300 words or less. We reserve the right to edit, condense or reject letters and opinion articles. Opinions and editorials expressed in the Silhouette are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of the editorial board, the publishers, the McMaster Students Union or the University. The Silhouette is an editorially autonomous newspaper published by the McMaster Students Union. The Silhouette Board of Publications acts as an intermediary between the editorial board, the McMaster community and the McMaster Students Union. Grievances regarding the Silhouette may be forwarded in writing to: McMaster Students Union, McMaster University Student Centre, Room 201, L8S 4S4, Attn: The Silhouette Board of Publications. The Board will consider all submissions and make recommendations accordingly.

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The Silhouette | 3

www.thesil.ca | Friday, Feb. 26, 2021

News

COVID-19 mental health study launches at McMaster University Research study to understand and address student mental health in the COVID-19 pandemic

PHOTO C/O BANTER SNAPS

Amarah Hasham-Steele Staff Writer

This article was previously published on Feb. 11, 2021.

While student mental health is not a new issue, the effects of the COVID-19 pandemic have severely impacted the mental health of university students.

Amidst online classes and assignments, students are forced to grapple with feelings of isolation and anxiety.

In an effort to address this ongoing student mental health crisis, Harvard University and the World Health Organization have launched an international study called the World Mental Health International College Student survey. The study will survey post-secondary students across fifteen countries.

Dr. Daniel Vigo, along with the department of psychology at the University of British Columbia, is leading the Canadian

side of the study. Marisa Young, associate professor of sociology at McMaster University and a Canada research chair in mental health and work-life transitions, is leading the study at McMaster.

“The impact of the survey is to gather more information about how students are impacted in their social settings and how mental health services can understand their situations, [which can] help improve those services,” Allison Leanage McMaster PhD Candidate

This study is being conducted with support from the Student Wellness Centre and the McMaster Office of Institutional Research and Analysis.

According to Young, much of the research being conducted will allow the team to reach students with a range of different experiences to gain a better understanding of McMaster’s entire student population.

Young hoped that this information can then be translated into ways to help students during COVID-19.

“The goal is to work with the Student Wellness Centre, which has been really integral in getting the study off the ground,” said Young.

Allison Leanage, a PhD candidate at McMaster has been involved with the administration of the survey. She explained that the study consists of a survey that is sent out to a randomly selected group of students. The survey asks questions about social relationships, substance use, the impacts of virtual schooling

and general mental health.

“The impact of the survey is to gather more information about how students are impacted in their social settings and how mental health services can understand their situations, [which can] help improve those services,” said Leanage.

Much of the interest surrounding this study comes from the fact that students across the world will be surveyed and studied. A standardized set of questions will be asked to each student, allowing answers to be compared once the study concludes.

According to Young, using a standardized survey to acquire data in so many different countries will help researchers to draw more accurate comparisons.

“There are a variety of measures that we use to understand psychological distress across cultures and across countries, which is great in a number of respects, but sometimes can lose the powerful comparison prop-

erties,” Young explained.

Young also explained that the international status of the survey might benefit McMaster students more directly as well.

“Being on an international level, the attention [to the study] will be so much more impactful,” Young explained.

“The voices of those leading the efforts at McMaster will be louder because of the international presence,” she added.

Given the mental health crisis that university students are currently facing, this study has the potential to improve the experiences of students around the world, during and after the COVID-19 pandemic.

“We don’t mean to fill your email box with just another call for a survey. We truly believe that this is going to have impacts for students at McMaster,” Young said.

@TheSilhouette

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www.thesil.ca | Friday, Feb. 26, 2021

FEATURE

University-level dating during the pandemic How the Aphrodite Project and similar projects have changed dating

Adrian Salopek Features Reporter

As the pandemic continues to surge and COVID-19 regulations remain in place, many are finding romance and fun.

From dating apps to newly-designed matching algorithms, students are being matched by the thousands from the comfort of their beds. This is especially true when it comes to university students in Canada, including at McMaster.

Rates of online dating usage have increased since the beginning of the pandemic.

Tinder, Hinge, OKCupid and many other apps have all reported increased use. However, in addition to a rise in online dating app usage, there have been many innovative projects seeking to help students bound to their homes and laptops find a match.

Perhaps most notable among these projects is the Aphrodite Project. The Aphrodite Project is an algorithm that matches students based on their responses in a long questionnaire. The project was designed by two University of Toronto exchange students, with the

first trial of the software having been trialled in Singapore in 2019. After it was clear the algorithm was a success and full of promise, it was adapted to Canadian universities, starting with U of T and the University of Waterloo.

The site is now open to students across many universities, including McMaster. For many, this algorithm was a success and a way to find love and happiness amid the pandemic.

Among students who found love through this algorithm last year are Karin Lie, a fourth-year student at the University of Waterloo studying psychology.

“I was very impressed,” Lie explained. “We did get along very well.”

The first batch of matching in Canada was completed in 2020, with thousands of students being matched prior to Valentine’s Day. The developers of the Aphrodite Project even opened up a special version of their algorithm, Aphrodite Project: Pandemic Edition. This targeted students amid the onset of the pandemic, which hoped to offer students an opportunity to meet someone and be distracted from the gloomy times of 2020.

In addition to the Aphrodite Project designed by stu-

SYBIL SIMPSON/PRODUCTION EDITOR

dents at U of T, there are similar projects that have been designed specifically for students at Mac. Among these are Match At Mac, which was run over the summer of 2020 and Mac Aphrodite Project. These operate similarly to the Aphrodite Project designed at U of T in which Mac students fill out questionnaires and are matched with what is calculated to be the best possible option. Students participating in the Mac Aphrodite Project received their matches on Feb. 13, 2021.

These projects are important this year, as the transition to online learning at universities has presented challenges to many, with fewer opportunities available for socializing and romance. For many students, these algorithms offer a more thoughtful and personalized way to meet potential matches that involves more than swiping right or left.

Although romance and love are obviously never guaranteed, these platforms offer a new and unique way to meet people. As an alternative to conventional dating applications, more personalized platforms like Aphrodite Project have the potential to become pivotal to online dating and match-making. Among the

students frustrated with dating apps during the pandemic is Abby Liznick, a second-year health sciences student at McMaster.

“At a time when we are all longing for a connection and the ability to spend quality time with others, many turn to dating apps to find instant companionship,” said Liznick.

“While these connections temporarily fill the social void left by the pandemic, they are just that — only temporary.”

These matchmaking projects are a testament to the adaptability and innovation people have come up during the pandemic. They offer a glimmer of hope for those who are unable to otherwise experience romance or socializing due to the social restrictions, especially those who are hesitant to try online dating apps.

Marzan Hamid, a second-year health sciences student, took a chance over the summer of 2020 and completed the Match At Mac questionnaire, eventually to be matched with someone later that year.

“I think it’s really great that students are taking the initiative to connect others, especially during these unique circumstances,” explained Hamid. “It’s

nice to find out that there are still creative ways to meet new people even during a pandemic.

I’m sure this will benefit many of my peers!”

Thousands of people have been matched by recently-made dating algorithms. This is in addition to the huge rise in usage of dating apps like Tinder since the pandemic began. The future looks bright for dating among university students stuck at home.

@TheSilhouette

www.thesil.ca | Friday, Feb. 26, 2021

The Silhouette

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PRESIDENT’S PAGE

GIANCARLO DA-RÉ President

president@msumcmaster.ca 905.525.9140 x23885

For almost a year now, the COVID-19 pandemic has forced students into a new normal of academic study. Our education is far removed from the campus at which we all intended to be this year. And while some positives will ultimately be gleaned from this experience, we have also been challenged with a new problem, the use of proctoring software.

McMaster University’s use of Respondus to monitor students during academic assessments has revealed a host of worries. To start, there are issues of equity in owning the technology sufficient to use it.

Once installed, students have reported damages to their personal equipment, along with the need to completely wipe their operating systems because of the software. Yet, the greatest threat Respondus poses to students goes beyond the costs to upgrade or repair computers. It

msu_mcmaster msumcmaster.ca text “MSU” to 71441

is the fact that students are effectively being compelled, without being able to provide informed consent, to submit themselves to an intrusive and sometimes demeaning mode of monitoring. Simultaneously, the use of Respondus is forcing students to give-up personal and biometric data to a third-party company.

The storage, security, and integrity of that information are all in serious question.

The MSU has been raising these concerns to the University since the beginning of the fall term. While I appreciate McMaster’s willingness to maintain communication with student leaders, there continues to be unanswered questions regarding the use of proctoring software.

The FAQ released in the fall did not address student concerns on the issues of privacy and data control. Though I am aware that a second FAQ is in progress, these questions have been consistent since the early fall and have yet to receive adequate responses. In light of this, the Student Representative Assembly (SRA) has taken the step of formally denouncing McMaster’s use of Respondus. The complete text of the SRA motion speaks to students’ continued frustration and the University’s lack of transparency on this topic. The motion can be found on the SRA Facebook page and website.

What also lacks in the University’s implementation of Respondus is communication to students as to how proctoring software is vetted, or if a vetting process is even required in the

The President’s Page is a space sponsored and used by the McMaster Students Union (MSU) Board of Directors (BoD) to communicate with the student body. It functions to highlight the Board’s projects, goals, and agenda for the year, as well as the general happenings of the MSU.

first place! I am aware of at least one instance wherein proctoring software other than Respondus was used in a course without a vetting process. These are not choices that should be left up to individual instructor opinion, as I do not view the monitoring of students to be within the realm of academic freedom. Rather, a codified process should be required prior to an instructor selecting and/or utilizing proctoring software in their class. Under the current system, students feel incapable of providing informed consent. Many feel a compelled obligation to submit to these programs, lest they face academic penalty. To add to the issue, it remains unclear what happens if a student refuses to use Respondus.

While I have heard encouraging stories of instructors providing alternative options for students, many people are unaware that asking for an alternative is even an option in the first place.

Even more alarming are reports of students experiencing intimidation from instructors, upon raising concerns regarding assessments. Some students have been threatened by instructors with academic integrity violations, should a student report accessibility and/or privacy issues with Respondus or the improper directions of instructors.

This problem is not unique to McMaster, as the term ‘academic bullying’ has surfaced across the province. Conversely, I am equally disappointed to learn of instances in which students harassed their instructors, as it related to proctoring discussions.

GIANCARLO DA-RÉ President

GRAEME NOBLE

VP (Administration)

Neither of these scenarios are in line with the values of integrity and respect students and instructors should have for one another. Students should be able to voice concerns, but instructors should also be free of harassment in their work environment.

So, why use proctoring software at all? At the heart of the matter is the University’s need to ensure academic integrity within the remote learning / testing environment. I think students can appreciate that logic and I can certainly understand McMaster’s need to minimize academic dishonesty. Academic integrity is important. But the choice between ensuring academic integrity or eliminating the use of invasive proctoring software is a false dichotomy.

The path forward necessitates greater consideration of alternative modes of assessment that respects students’ rights to privacy, while also facilitating effective learning. Other universities have demonstrated that Respondus is not the only option; viable alternatives already exist. These problems affect all of us, so our approach to solutions should be unified as well. That means involving students in the discussion and building trust through transparency and collaboration.

In our brave new online academic world, which seems likely to continue for the foreseeable future, we need creative teaching and learning strategies that continue to uphold the values of academic integrity - but not at the cost of privacy and accountability.

RYAN TSE

VP (Education)

JESSICA ANDERSON VP (Finance)

www.thesil.ca | Friday, Feb. 26, 2021

The Silhouette

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Editorial Love is all around We are stronger together when we love one another

Andrew Mrozowski Managing Editor

In 2020, I was given the insurmountable task as Arts and Culture Editor to create and produce the Silhouette’s annual love and positivity issue, Sex and the Steel City. A tradition for each person in my role, the beginning of SATSC dates back at least 10 years ago.

While it has evolved over the years with each A&C Editor giving it their own spin, the core values remain the same: to give the McMaster and Hamilton communities a creative outlet to talk about sex, body postivity, identity and love. In recent years, SATSC has focused on diversity, self-identity and this year, we focus on education — both formal and informal.

Over the last three years, we have seen a regressional way of thinking from our provincial government. One of the first acts that Premier Doug Ford enacted when elected was to repeal the then-new sex education curriculm.

Updated in 2015 by Kathleen Wynne’s Liberal government, this was the first revision sex-ed had seen since 1998. Topics surrounding 2SLGBTQIA+ communities, sexting, gender identity and consent were added to better keep up with modern values. Instead, the Ford

government proposed a new curriculum; however, after much lobbying by students, little was changed.

In the United States and around the world, homophobia and transphobia still run rampant. Sex work continues to be criminalized. Many still wonder if they should teach their kids about “taboo” subjects. While these are issues that are larger than any one person, these are topics that are explored in this year’s Sex and the Steel City.

Our way of acknowledging and bringing awareness to these issues that continue to plague society.

Now more than ever, we need unity. We live in a divided world. We live on a divided continent. We live in a divided nation. We live in a divided province. Now is the time to take action, to stand up for what you believe in. Now is the time to unite (albeit virtually) to create change and to be a voice for the voiceless.

Sex and the Steel City is a small annual reminder of that unity that we should all strive for. I hope you take the time to read through the 36 pages of this extended special issue. May this issue serve as a reminder: a reminder that we are stronger together when we love one another. @TheSilhouette

to Tompa Brady to bank holidays

to phone calls with friends

to student journalists

to the world’s largest virtual cooking class

to Aspen’s ABCs of love

to mini desk waterfalls

to Zoom: delivering happiness

to avocado tequila

to C.R.E.A.M

to back to back for Shady

to Backyard.Co

to Kings of the North

PHOTO C/O JON TYSON ON UNSLPASH

to reading week having felt like just another work week

to schoolwork during reading week

the hump in Andrew’s new guitar’s fretboard

to bitter tomatoes

to your favourite leaving the Bachelor to blowing another historic lead to staying in Florida for the season

to Dr. Pepper not being a real doctor to another year of THIS to backup goalies named Dave to car crashes

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www.thesil.ca | Friday, Feb. 26, 2021

NEWS

McMaster residence rooms available to front-line healthcare workers As COVID-19 continues to place strain on healthcare workers, McMaster University provides isolated and affordable accommodations

PHOTO C/O MICHEILE HENDERSON

Amarah Hasham-Steele Staff Writer

This article was previously published on Feb. 4, 2021.

For many healthcare workers, the struggle to keep society safe has come at a personal cost.

Throughout the COVID-19 pandemic, healthcare workers have faced an increased risk of infection, as well as the emotional impacts of dealing with this public health crisis.

Offering residence rooms to healthcare workers was a way for McMaster University to provide support to those on the frontlines. The aim of this program is to provide frontline healthcare workers with a safe and affordable place to self-isolate.

As these workers are at an increased risk of contracting COVID-19, living away from home for a period of time helps them to protect their families.

According to Laurie Ham,

manager of conference and event services at McMaster, an organization heavily involved with this program is the Thrive Group. As Ham explained, the Thrive Group is a non-profit organization that has been helping to connect McMaster with healthcare workers who are interested in accessing this program.

“They receive the initial inquiry and they work with people interested,” said Ham. The Thrive Group’s Vice-President of Business Strategy, Vickie Baird, reflected on the importance of having this program in place.

“We knew that there was some anxiety that these healthcare workers would bring the virus home to [their] families, so we wanted to be able to give them an affordable option that would allow them to stay somewhere safe during their work term,” said Baird.

The program, which launched on Jan. 20, allows healthcare workers to book a stay in McKay Hall at an

affordable rate, with the option to order meals to their rooms as well.

“We had heard that [healthcare workers] really did want some options, other than calling a local hotel and paying a hundred plus dollars per night,” Baird explained.

Ham explained that McKay Hall was well-suited for this program.

“The building has just completed a major modernization of all of the washrooms throughout, so it makes it a perfect opportunity to have [healthcare workers stay in] a safe, comfortable setting,” said Ham. Healthcare workers can stay at McKay Hall from three to 14 days, a policy which was created to accommodate as many workers as possible. Baird added that McMaster would be willing to consider extension requests.

As of Feb. 4, the program has received nine inquiries from healthcare workers, although none have registered yet.

According to Baird, healthcare

workers may be waiting to see if their employers would cover the cost, or they may be unsure about the meal plan, as it isn’t designed with long shift schedules in mind.

“I think it’s still early.

Even though we launched the program two weeks ago, it takes a while for the information to filter through,” Baird said.

Along with space reserved for healthcare workers, McMaster’s campus is still inhabited by a small number of students currently living in residence. To ensure effective social distancing and other safety protocols, Ham highlighted that healthcare workers and students are isolated from one another.

“It’s entirely separate. It’s a separate building; it’s a separate series of standard operating procedures and protocols,” said Ham. A number of McMaster departments have been involved to create this initiative. From parking to hospitality services, it takes a village to bring the community together.

“To be able to come up with a comprehensive [program] requires participation from [many] people,” said Ham. Overall, Ham described this program as an opportunity for McMaster to give back to Hamilton’s healthcare workers.

“We were able to work through a plan to demonstrate the university’s commitment to supporting these dedicated, passionate, relentless professionals who are caring for everyone else to make sure people stay well,” said Ham.

@TheSilhouette

www.thesil.ca | Friday, Feb. 26, 2021

The Silhouette

| 11

Engineering scholarship launched for Black students National Society of Black Engineers increases representation and supports for Black students in academia Sanya Grover News Reporter

This article was previously published on Jan. 28, 2021.

Addressing anti-Black racism has been an urgent need for increased equity for Black students and professionals across academia, especially in traditionally white male-dominated fields like engineering.

To tackle one of these barriers in education, the National Society of Black Engineers, McMaster chapter has launched an annual entrance scholarship for Canadian Black students entering the Faculty of Engineering at McMaster University.

All incoming first-years who self-identify as Black students, demonstrate strong leadership and have positively contributed to their community will be eligible for the award.

The scholarship will provide each recipient with $2,500, along with a position on the NSBE executive team.

The NSBE is a national student-run organization that aims to increase the number of Black engineers who excel both academically and professionally, while demonstrating valuable leadership to make a difference in their community.

The NSBE team also includes other engineering graduates and professionals.

Founded in 1971, the society has over 31,000 members that span over 600 active chapters in Canada, the United States and other countries around the globe. They provide academic excellence programs, social connections, leadership opportunities, additional scholarships and career networking to support Black students in engineering.

The McMaster chapter is spear-headed by an executive team of McMaster engineering students. The current president is Feyisayo Enuiyin, a chemical engineering student in her final year. The chapter’s aim is to provide Black students with academic support, professional development, and networking opportunities.

“For many Black students

NSBE McMaster has launched an annual scholarship for Canadian Black students entering the Faculty of Engineering PHOTO C/O MAC DAILY NEWS

from underprivileged communities, they don’t think engineering is a space for them,” said Enuiyin. “This scholarship was created for students who didn’t even know they wanted to study engineering. It creates hope for students to show they are going to a school that supports them.”

The NSBE McMaster Chapter’s goal is to raise $62,500 for the award. The number of scholarships will be dependent on the funds raised. If they exceed their goal, they will provide more scholarships. They are currently accepting donations, with hopes that this award will inspire and encourage more Black students to apply to McMaster Engineering.

Enuiyin explained that the scholarship aims to provide more than financial assistance — the award will also create a larger scale for representation, further showing Black students that institutions like McMaster actually care about them.

“Once I was able to feel that McMaster, including the staff and faculty, really supports me, it made me feel more confident because I know that I go to a community that has my back,” said Enuiyin.

To Enuiyin, this representation within the university at

large, especially in academia, is important because it creates confidence.

“It creates a sense of self-awareness so that when you step into a place and you see people like you doing what you aspire to do, it gives you encouragement and motivation to know that you can do that too . . . When you feel represented in a space, like in an atmosphere of a room, you don’t think about complexion. It doesn’t even cross your head,” said Enuiyin.

Enuiyin expressed gratitude towards the Faculty of Engineering for supporting the NSBE McMaster chapter and said that the scholarship is a step in the right direction. “[The scholarship] will help us move towards a more inclusive environment where a range of perspectives leads to better insights and innovation,” stated Professor Iswhar K. Puri, dean of engineering, in a McMaster Daily News article.

Other efforts for inclusion by McMaster’s Faculty of Engineering include the recent launch of the Indigenous and Black Engineering and Technology momentum fellowships.

These fellowships were created in collaboration with faculties at the University of Waterloo,

University of Ottawa, University of Toronto, Queen’s University and Western University.

The fellowships will provide Indigenous and Black recipients of the award each with $25,000 over the span of four years to support them with their graduate studies and engineering research. Similar to the NSBE scholarship, the IBET doctoral fellowships were launched with the hope to reduce the financial barriers experienced by Black and Indigenous students.

These efforts for inclusion are paired with McMaster’s announcement of a new commitment to Black academic excellence, such as the commitment to hire a cohort of up to 12 Black faculty members. This is the first initiative under the new Strategic Equity and Excellence Recruitment and Retention program, which is part of McMaster’s larger equity, diversity and inclusion strategy.

Other efforts at McMaster include the development of a yearly bursary of $800 in perpetuity for Black students with financial need in the McMaster Health Sciences program. The bursary organizers include McMaster University and Mohawk College alumni and are currently also fundraising.

When asked what else academic institutions can do to alleviate barriers for Black students, Enuiyin highlighted the importance of outreach programs along with financial assistance. These outreach programs should be delivered in underprivileged communities, especially for high school students.

“When students are already in universities, it is hard to change their perspectives. [By starting in high school], you can start to show them options as to what they have,” explained Enuiyin.

When discussing how McMaster community members should view this scholarship, Enuiyin highlighted its importance on our society as a whole.

“It’s not just about being Black or being in engineering.

It’s bigger than that . . . It’s about people. When one individual progresses, the whole community progresses,” said Enuiyin.

Donations for the scholarship funds are currently being accepted on the NSBE McMaster’s iFundMac website.

@TheSilhouette

12 |

www.thesil.ca | Friday, Feb. 26, 2021

OPINION

Opinion Who needs a boyfriend when you have a sister?

Sometimes the most important relationships in your life aren’t your own

Nina Sartor Staff Writer

One of our favourite family movies is White Christmas.

Every year since we were little, my sister and I would attempt to emulate the singing sister duo from the film (sadly without their spectacular outfits) by belting out their song, “Sisters”. “[L]ord help the Mister who comes between me and my sister and Lord help the sister who comes between me and my man!”.

With me being three and her five at the time, the notion of a “man” coming between us seemed completely absurd; our sisterhood was ironclad and eternal.

Fast forward 14 years and the “mister” had arrived in the ominous shape of my sister’s first boyfriend. I met him for the first time when he and my sister came to pick me up — a power imbalance I found deeply frustrating (after all, how could I put him in his place when he was my ride home?). Completely unprepared for what felt like the most important interview of my life, I interrogated him for a full half-hour. Needless to say, when the car ride was over, I didn’t know what to think of him.

But I knew one thing for sure: this boy had come to take

my sister away from me. She could only love one of us best and he was vying for the top spot. This was a state-of-emergency, DEFCON-1 level crisis. I began wartime preparations.

People who say big brothers are protective have clearly never met a little sister. Over the following months, I turned into an amateur private investigator (more Clouseau than Sherlock, I must admit). Every time we met, I would theatrically narrow my eyes and badger him with questions, certain that I would finally uncover a fact to prove his complete and irrefutable unsuitability for my sister. I was deeply unsuccessful, to put it mildly.

To my horror, I found out that he was actually kind of funny. Well, that wasn’t going to work for me — I was the funny one in our sisterhood. If she was busy laughing at his jokes, she wouldn’t have any time for mine.

He also turned out to be rather hard working and was really nice to her. But aside from stealing her clothes and periodically destroying all her makeup (trivial concerns, really), so was I! However, the more I talked to him, the more I realized that I just couldn’t reconcile the picture I had of him in my head as a rude, good-for-nothing in-

terloper who would do nothing but cause my sister pain with the reality that he was actually a nice, upstanding guy. In matters of the heart, though, reason counts for very little.

Failing to discover incriminating information, I turned to less sophisticated methods to scare him off: I became really, really mean.

I would call him nicknames to our family friends, I made rude faces whenever he was brought up in conversation and I even made a (losing) bet with my parents about how long he was going to last (the shameful reminder of which lives on in my Google Calendar forever).

I snidely informed my sister one day, “I can’t understand what you see in him”.

“That’s because you’re immature,” she replied.

I had become so cruel, angry and resentful that I barely recognized myself. Understandably, my sister became upset over why I was treating her boyfriend so badly; what had he ever done to me? My mom told her I was just jealous.

The truth is that she was right. But I wasn’t jealous of her, I was jealous of him.

Growing up, my sister was my idol. She was the prettiest, smartest and most confident person I knew and in my mind, I held her atop a pedestal. Her

attention and affection were necessary for my personal validation and I worried that he would take that from me. Was I really so replaceable to her?

One day I walked into my sister’s room and I saw dozens of pictures of her and her boyfriend on the wall. She was beaming in every one of them.

In that moment I realized my incredible selfishness. I thought he was the one damaging our sisterhood, but in reality I was the one who had inflicted the harm by denying her the right to affection beyond my own. It was a tight fit, but there could be room for three peas in this pod after all.

In case you thought this was a Hallmark movie ending, I’ll tell you that I haven’t fully gotten over my sisterly identity crisis quite yet. Just the other day I had a rather traumatizing “dream” (it was definitely a nightmare) that they got married — clearly, I still need some time before I can consider taking our relationship to the next level.

My sister and her boyfriend are still going strong and seeing them now makes me thankful that my meanspirited meddling didn’t ruin a good thing. Even more importantly, I learned that sometimes the most difficult, life-changing relationships you

will experience aren’t even your own. The “mister” wasn’t the villain in our sister-saga. I was — and we all know the bad guy never wins.

@TheSilhouette

www.thesil.ca | Friday, Feb. 26, 2021

The Silhouette

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Would Aphrodite be happy with the Aphrodite Project?

How an online dating initiative offered Mac students a chance at love. Kind of

PHOTO C/O DAN GOLD

Novera Shenin Staff Writer

As Reading Week came to a close, we also experienced everyone’s least favourite holiday: Valentine’s Day. I am just joking, of course.

After all, what is not to love about enviously eyeing a happy couple as you munch on your discounted Valentine’s chocolates and revel in your own loneliness?

Despite the seemingly impossible odds, it turns out that love is indeed in the air for both our single and “it’s complicated” McMaster University students after all.

The Aphrodite Project, named after the ancient Greek goddess of love and beauty, has made its debut to hundreds of hopelessly romantic McMaster students. This mainly experimental and student-led initiative matches you to an algorithmically perfect soulmate or to a platonic friend if you so wish.

This left me thinking about an interesting question regarding this project on our campus: will the Aphrodite Project be successful?

On one hand, this opportunity seems harmless and too good to pass up, but on the flip side, there is the possibility of facing cold, hard disappointment. Personally, I hold the latter view, given my ever-growing disenchantment with online dating apps despite the current situation of students’ social lives.

The Aphrodite Project at McMaster was doomed to begin with given the uneven ratio of the sexes that have signed up, as well as how it did not play out as planned among other larger universities which even led to students even organizing their “post-Aphrodite project” dating profiles using other platforms.

So far, the student opinion regarding this initiative resembles the time-tested issues that are common with online dating in general. The Aphrodite Project, or otherwise presented

at McMaster as “Match at Mac,” claims to use a nobel prize winning algorithm, which happens to be the exact same algorithm already being used other existing dating platforms such as Tinder: the Gale-Shapley algorithm for predicting stable marriages.

However, there is a reason why all modern online love stories have not necessarily ended in long-term happiness in real life. The Gale-Shapley algorithm is proven to be heavily biased in favour of one sex over the other with the flip of a couple of variables but traditionally remains male-favoured as originally programmed.

The algorithm envisions a scenario where one sex is “married” to their top choice of partner, whereas that chosen partner is “married” to their last choice, proving its clear bias depending on how the algorithm was initially set up.

While the Aphrodite Project has not shared the specifics of its match-making technology for one to assess the exact

impacts on the majority of the dating population, the outcome could not have been optimal at Mac given the noticeably high female participation rate compared to male.

Students were destined to lose out either way as the variables needed for projects like this were already skewed and do not foster an environment for the algorithm to have worked to its full potential.

Thus, the clickbait of the Nobel Prize-winning algorithm was slightly misleading and perhaps raised the hopes of many a love-lorn Mac student too soon.

I believe a further inherent problem behind such initiatives is that it gives whatever matches were made what seems like an already established connection.

That way, participants feel even more disappointed going into interactions with their matches when enthusiasm is not reciprocated.

Regardless of its flaws, the Aphrodite Project provided an opportunity of light-hearted fun and possible love for Mac

students stuck at home, which if anything, brought a smile to our faces in these dark times. If you did not find your soulmate through Mac’s Aphrodite Project, fear not, as a world of romance awaits you once our sexy campus is up and running again.

@TheSilhouette

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www.thesil.ca | Friday, Feb. 26, 2021

OPINION

Diversity in the workplace shouldn’t be taken at face value Workplace diversity is misleading if all higher-ups are white

PHOTO C/O CATHERINE GOCE

Steffi Arkilander Opinion Editor

Amid the Black Lives Matter protests that happened this past summer and McMaster University’s very own report that highlighted systemic anti-Black racism in the athletics department, diversity has become an important topic of discussion.

Notably, many organizations — such as McMaster — are trying to do better with their diversity by prioritizing hiring individuals that are Black, Indigenous, People of Colour, 2SLGBTQIA+ folks and people with disabilities.

Workplaces have huddled together to improve their diversity — for example, in November, McMaster committed to hiring up to 12 new academics and scholars that contribute to Black academic excellence at the university. This effort is to increase the number of Black faculty, as well as provide opportunities for Black academics.

Yet, this movement towards

diversity wields a double-edged sword: in many ways, the words “diversity,” “equity” and “inclusion” have become buzzwords.

While companies and organizations try to diversify their workplace, many have been criticized for the ways in which they approach diversity.

For example, last summer Bon Appétit went under fire for not paying its BIPOC employees as much (or at all) as the white employees for on-screen appearances. While the new editor-in-chief and other hires are BIPOC, it took inequitable pay and several racialized chefs leaving Bon Appétit for this change to occur.

Unfortunately, we aren’t doing much better in terms of diversity at McMaster.

Within the McMaster Students Union, there are many opportunities for students to get involved in both volunteer and paid positions. Fortunately, our student community is quite diverse and a lot of this is reflected in the students involved in the MSU services. But the higher up you get in the MSU,

the whiter it gets.

Fortunately, our student community is quite diverse and a lot of this is reflected in the students involved in the MSU services. But the higher up you get in the MSU, the whiter it gets.

Since my second year, the MSU board of directors has only had one racialized member per board. Let me repeat that: every year, one of the four board members that lead the student union was racialized.

It gets worse — when you look at the full-time staff in the MSU that aren’t in a student opportunity position, they’re all white. The people who are at the top, in positions of power over everyone else, are anything but diverse.

The MSU is supposed to represent the undergraduate student body, but how can it do that if it isn’t as racially diverse as our student body? Sure, the people volunteering, working part-time, or in one-year contracts may be diverse, but the people who work for the MSU year after year and have control

of it beyond one contracted year are white. I don’t know about you, but that isn’t diversity to me.

The Silhouette isn’t exempt from surface-level diversity, either. In the past four years that I’ve been here, every Editor-in-Chief has been white — and I’m sure that if I looked back even further, this would apply for many more years.

While I would say we have a very diverse staff team, we have a similar issue that the MSU has, which is the fact that the person with the most “powerful” position is white.

This raises the question: what is stopping BIPOC or even people from other marginalized identities from being Editor-in-Chief? The Editor-in-Chief has a role in hiring the following Editor-in-Chief.

When several Editors-in-Chief have been white, they can — consciously or unconsciously — play a role in continuing this cycle.

We’re a student newspaper.

We exist to represent students fairly and equitably, but how

can we do that if we don’t even have important, diverse identities leading our newspaper? How do we hold others accountable if we don’t hold ourselves accountable first?

There are plenty of skilled and diverse writers and aspiring journalists that attend Mac. We should be wondering why more of these people — why not many Indigenous students, trans students or disabled students are applying for these roles.

These issues are not exclusive to the MSU or the Sil by any means. However, if we want to see change and true diversity in the workplace, we should lead by example within our student body first.

@TheSilhouette

www.thesil.ca | Friday, Feb. 26, 2021

The Silhouette

| 15

What does Bell “Let’s Talk” day mean to me?

A day of pageantry, virtue signalling and undermining values Nina Sartor Staff Writer

On Jan. 28, Bell “Let’s Talk” day was celebrated at McMaster University and across Canada. Did you talk to someone about mental health? Because I didn’t — I did double tap on the Instagram posts, though. Oh and I watched the funny Michael Bublé ad.

Bell Let’s Talk is an initiative that began in 2010 with four key goals: to reduce the stigma around mental illness, to increase access to mental health supports and services, to provide funds for research and for Bell to lead by example within their own workplace.

I think the fundraising is absolutely marvellous and one of the best ways a large organization can support mental health (watching Michael Bublé vacuum never felt so good). I must also disclose that I’ve never worked for Bell, so I can’t tell you how well their workplace initiative is going.

Where I think we’ve gone astray, especially at McMaster, is with regards to the other crucial component of supporting mental health: de-stigmatization through conversation.

McMaster states that more than 20,000 of its student-athletes will partake in leading the conversation about mental health on campus, alongside other students and university members to discuss the impacts and stigma that mental illness can have.

Now, I know that I can’t speak to other people’s views, so keep in mind that these are just some of mine: I am a

PHOTO C/O MCMASTER RECREATION

varsity athlete. I’ve got the coveted blue hat. I’ve posed with the cute little speech bubble posters saying “#endthestigma” and “it’s okay to not be okay.”

I’ve also had my coach tell me, on the same week I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder no less, that she guaranteed that “whatever kind of week I was having, hers was worse.” I also remember the day the rookies on our team got their Bell “Let’s Talk” hats.

In the span of probably 30 seconds, we had them put on the hats, thrust the signs into their hands, snapped a picture for the gram and then left to go home. There was no talking.

I’m not blameless in this either. Even though I know too well the pain, discomfort and humiliation of a mental illness, I’ve been mean to teammates I didn’t like without

thinking of their personal situations (or, even worse, with full awareness of their circumstances). I’ve giggled at other people’s spiteful and insensitive jokes, glad to be included and keen to not end up on the receiving end and I am ashamed.

My reason for saying all this is to illustrate how participation in Bell “Let’s Talk” day has become an exercise in pageantry, devoid of any of the meaningful action it purports to inspire.

To paraphrase Macbeth, it’s a load of sound and worry, signifying nothing. Holding up a sign that says “#LetsTalk” does not fulfill your obligation to have that talk. Writing “#endthestigma” doesn’t really end the stigma if you never make an effort to understand the “stigma” in the first place or change your own behaviour.

An opinion contrib-

utor for the Toronto Star wrote that on Bell “Let’s Talk” day, all they saw were billboards of mostly white, well-groomed people, alongside text that read “Mental Health Affects Us All.” When I look at the McMaster Marauders Instagram posts, for example, that is pretty much all I see, too.

The reality is that mental health is not pretty.

Ending the stigma surrounding mental health shouldn’t be limited to a day where you can check a box saying “I care” by posting a photo on Instagram and then moving on with your life.

If we truly mean all those slogans and hashtags and well wishes, we need to sit down before (or after) the photo is taken and have that uncomfortable conversation about what mental health looks like, how we encounter it and what we can do to

help. Then, we need to carry that conversation with us beyond Bell “Let’s Talk” day and apply it to our thoughts, words and actions.

Don’t laugh at those problematic jokes, talk to the person who is considered painfully uncool, stand up to people you admire and respect and love when they’re doing something wrong. As Dumbledore would say, “It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends.”

No more pretending — let’s end this stigma for real.

@TheSilhouette

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HUMANS

Esther Liu Contributor

Morghen Jael is a third-year arts and science student who has been in a relationship with her boyfriend, Zooey, for two years.

Are you living together or in a long-distance relationship?

Morghen Jael: We do not share a lease but he is living fulltime at my house. So he has a student house in Westdale that he has a lease with. But because of the pandemic and because he actually has an immuno-compromised housemate at that student house, he decided to just move in full-time with me here because we didn’t want to worry about him switching back and forth and exposing all of us to double the amount of people.

So yeah, we technically live together even though that wasn’t what I was planning for at this stage of the relationship.

It feels kind of soon for fulltime living together, but that’s what it is and it’s been working.

What are the pros and cons of living together?

Jael: The pros were that we would get to see each other.

Otherwise, we kind of felt like, at the beginning of the pandemic, it was one extreme or the other, so he’s either going to stay or we’re going to be apart.

So it felt like we had to make that choice and it was almost a no-brainer: we’re going to choose to be together. We love each other’s company, we’re part of each other’s daily lives in so many ways, so let’s just get together physically—we can do it.

It was great to have support

Friday, Feb. 26, 2021 | www.thesil.ca

24/7 [because] it was stressful with the pandemic [and] it’s also just a stressful life period of my life. I just started medication for my anxiety actually, right at the onset of the pandemic . . . That was a really big paradigm shift in my life, so it was actually great to have Zooey there for those first few months of adjusting to my medication and also just adjusting to the pandemic.

So I think for both of us it helps to have the other one around. People talk about loneliness during the pandemic and I think we never had that problem because we had each other. We’re really great friends in addition to being boyfriend and girlfriend, so we get along really well, we’re good at coming up with things to do.

One of the cons of moving in together full-time was the lack of privacy. I think I felt this more than him, just different people that we are. I like to have a little more time alone in my own space, having solo dance parties in my room to let off steam to kind of retreat into my own world. So lack of privacy was something that we both dealt with.

“I just think there are lots of different love stories during the pandemic.”

Morghen Jael Third-Year, Arts and Science Even just physical privacy — we have been sleeping in the same bed now for all these months. He’d come over to sleep before, but not night after night. That took some adjusting. I’m not gonna

Morghen (left) and Zooey PHOTO C/O RON DICK

have my physical space all to myself anymore: how can I maintain my bodily integrity, how can I stand up for myself? I’m like: “Okay, this is too much snuggling, I need to go for a walk.”

Could you elaborate on how you’ve been maintaining your relationship?

Jael: We have been making sure to take the little bit of personal space that we can. I think that’s been really helpful in making sure that we can still tolerate each other when we’re together.

So we’ve been going for solo walks. At least once a day, each of us goes for a walk alone . . . Also, on the opposite end of the spectrum, we’ve been doing dates and stuff.

Every time a monthly anniversary comes up, we’ll either order in some food or cook some food and then we’ll make it as special as it can be inside my bedroom. So we’ll have some music, have a glass of wine and try to replicate a date scenario so it feels like we’re still dating [and] not just roommates.

I was a little embarrassed or I didn’t know what words to use.

But now we’ve been thinking about our physical health a bit more. We’ve been in a closer space so we see each other’s bodies more and I’m getting more comfortable being like “Okay, I have a yeast infection.”

But I’m at the point now where I could tell him that I have this physical problem, here’s how you can support me, but you don’t need to know everything and I got it. So yeah, I think that’s been kind of an added dimension and I think that’s also just both of us maturing as people.

Do you have any additional comments?

demic. Love and sex because sex is definitely an important dimension of this that isn’t necessarily coupled with love . . . It’s important to remember that romantic love is not the end-all and be-all. People are exploring friendships, deep and new friendships, or their sex lives, their own personal sexuality.

Oh, here’s something else: I bought a vibrator for the first time during the pandemic. So I was experimenting with a vibrator. It’s been kind of fun to let Zooey try it too, not for himself but on me, and that also goes with becoming more comfortable with my body, with talking about my body and his body. So anyway, I’m just saying that there are all different types of sex and love stories going on in people’s lives.

I just think there are lots of different love stories during the pan-

How has your relationship grown because of COVID-19?

PHOTO C/O MORGHEN JAEL

Jael: I think the pandemic may have helped me to become more honest about my physical needs, like a little more literate, even. I remember using euphemisms to talk about sex or body parts or body functions. In the first year or so, I was kind of like “Oh, I can’t tell him about this health problem” because

facebook.com/HumansOfMcMaster

The Silhouette

www.thesil.ca | Friday, Feb. 26, 2021

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Using community to learn about love, sex and health in a pandemic

Rya Buckley A&C Editor

The first Silhouette issue I remember picking up was the 2018 Sex and the Steel City issue.

It started off so normal, but by the time I flipped to the sex toy guide, I recall being rather alarmed, maybe a tad embarrassed. I put the paper back on the stand.

A year later, I was contributing to Sex and the Steel City as the Arts and Culture Reporter. I started to understand how this issue provides an important space for our community to talk about the taboo, the messy and the private. But I didn’t feel I had anything to add to the conversation.

Now it’s two years after that. When I first took on the

job that involves planning this issue, I still didn’t feel like I had much to add to this conversation. I wasn’t sure how to plan an issue on topics I am still exploring and learning about.

So I decided to do what I do whenever I write for the Sil: I listened. I have been a student of the dozens of thoughtful interviewees that have taught me about everything from magic to gentrification. So I turned to this community to teach me about love, sex and health.

Over the past few weeks, the most personal stories and intimate art landed in my inbox.

Strangers gave me permission to probe their pasts and tinker with their life texts. So I want to thank every single person who reached out to me about this issue, to everyone who filmed and created and wrote this anthology on the taboo, the messy and the private. I am honoured

that my part of the Sil’s legacy is all of your lessons on love.

I never realized how much of a community-based project Sex and the Steel City is until this year. Writing for a newspaper can be very isolating and doing so in a pandemic even more so, but this issue has reminded me of the community that the Sil has formed.

I think COVID-19 has made this issue all the more urgent. This pandemic has upended relationships, cancelled sex lives and wreaked havoc on our collective health. But it has also highlighted the importance of these things. We crave connection perhaps more than we ever have.

So in this year’s Sex and the Steel City, we have sought to tell stories of connection. Not just stories of romantic relationships, but also stories of the relationships with our family

members, our friends and ourselves. I hope you know that you’re part of a community that loves and looks forward to this issue, be it your first Sex and the Steel City or your millionth.

Through this community, I have sought to expand my worldview. I’ll be the first to admit that there are representations lacking in this issue, that there are stories left to tell that I hope I’ll read in future issues of Sex and the Steel City.

But my goal was to make sure that you, dear reader, identified with just one word or just one image in this issue, so that you know that this is a conversation that you are a part of, a conversation that I welcome you to add to. More than anything, I hope you learn something.

TABLE OF CONTENTS 4-5 The impact of COVID-19 on Hamilton sex workers 6-7 University-level dating during the pandemic

17 Sex and the Steel City letter 18-19 What does it mean to be a man?

25 Eight queer, sex-positive accounts to follow on Instagram

31 Lessons from my sister: kaleidoscope of love

26-27 Art from Steffi Arkilander, Jenna Iacobucci, Emelia Da Silva, Edwin Thomas

32 Humanity Switch? I wish.

33 Sil Sit Down with Dr. Iman Benerji

9 Love is all around

20-21 Sil Time Capsule: Students on the importance of sex education

12 Relationship wars: who needs a boyfriend when you have a sister?

22 Coming out as nonbinary

29 Eight cozy virtual date ideas

34 Finding Comfort in the Little Things

23 Self-acceptance takes time

30 Thoughts from an Indian emigrant on arranged marriages

35 Define your own beauty

16 Humans of McMaster: Morghen Jael

24 The stories close to our hearts

28 Food Flavoured Love

GRAPHICS BY ESRA RAKAB/PRODUCTION COORDINATOR & ANDREW MROZOWSKI/MANAGING EDITOR

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www.thesil.ca | Friday, Feb. 26, 2021

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What does it mean to be a man?

Male-identifying students share their perspectives on masculinity remember it because I actually found an old picture from kindergarten . . . of me with my friend in the kitchen wearing a pair of heels and a dress. I didn’t think anything of it until the picture was posted in the hallway and older kids had seen it,” said Jackman.

“I [decided] to find a style of dance that aligns with my identity and how I want to express myself. It’s art and art is not up to one person’s perception.”

Avery Jackman Fourth-year student

Avery Jackman C/O NATASHA UHRIG

Avery Jackman Sarah Lopes Sadafi Staff Writer

In Michael Ian Black’s New York Times essay, “The Boys Are Not All Right”, he expressed his opinions on the topic of masculinity far more eloquently than I possibly could.

“To be a girl today is to be the beneficiary of decades of conversation about the complexities of womanhood, its many forms and expressions.

Boys, though, have been left behind. No commensurate movement has emerged to help them navigate toward a full expression of their gender,” wrote Black.

The Silhouette sat down with male-identifying students to hear their takes on masculinity and how their experiences have shaped their self and gender identities.

In his fourth year of the health and society program, Avery Jackman is loud and proud of his identity. Through his work with CFMU’s “Rainbow Radio” and more, he encourages students to lay claim to their identity.

Jackman views masculinity as complex and multi-faceted. An outer reflection of your inner self, masculinity is something deeply personal and individual. Concurrently, finding one’s own definition of masculinity involves an interplay of historical, societal and biological factors.

He described his elementary school experience as a time in his life where he couldn’t necessarily pinpoint what masculinity was but began to understand how to ascribe to it — how to walk, how to talk, how to sit.

“My earliest memory [of discovering the concept of masculinity] was unfortunately as a young kid, being bullied for being different. I distinctly

Dance and self-expression helped Jackman find his identity through the years. Growing up, he described a constant inner conflict between his own style of dance and that which he was taught to ascribe to — a hyper-masculine archetype of the “male lead.” Jackman currently

teaches heels dance classes.

“I [decided] to find a style of dance that aligns with my identity and how I want to express myself. It’s art and art is not up to one person’s perception. It’s what you want to do and what I wanted to make was a dance that showed men being fluid, quote-unquote feminine and challenging gender and dance,” said Jackman.

It was in university that Jackman really began to experiment with identity expression, noting the importance of friends who allowed him to be authentically himself in his personal journey.

“I remember the first time I wore heels to school, before I left the house I called my friends to say, ‘I’m wearing heels to school. I need you to be on speed dial just in case something happens. Either hate crimes or I fall and get embarrassed. I need you to be there for me because this is a big step.’

I [was] feeling overwhelmed . . . It’s important to have a good group of friends and have a support system,” said Jackman.

Jackman hopes that students understand that gender is a non-binary, individual concept with no set model. How you choose to express your

masculinity or femininity does not need to align with anything you’ve seen before.

“Create your own path through the [world] . . . People’s journey of self-exploration is personal and something that, even though it, unfortunately, is politicized, is also not up for debate. Once you learn to unpack the things that you’ve learned and been taught, you start to invite the person you want to be without the social constructions of others telling you who you should be. Show [that person to] the world, even if there is backlash. I guarantee you, somebody will appreciate you for it, someone will love

“You don’t have to struggle in silence, it’s something that you can talk about. The strength is in showing your weakness and moving forward.”

Max Pinkerton Men’s rugby team

Max Pinkerton C/O MAX PINKERTON

www.thesil.ca | Friday, Feb. 26, 2021

The Silhouette men’s health. In his personal journey with gender, González explained that he began to grasp the concept of masculinity when he moved to Canada from Mexico in his early teens.

“In North America, it’s a bit more open-minded when it comes to how men are expected to act. In more [traditional] cultural backgrounds, like

Rogelio Cruz González C/O ROGELIO CRUZ GONZÁLEZ

you for it and somebody will be inspired by it,” said Jackman.

Max Pinkerton Max Pinkerton is a fifth-year commerce student who plays for the McMaster rugby team. This past year, he was in charge of the McMaster Movember campaign, advocating for men’s mental health.

Pinkerton grew up playing hockey and rugby, both of which are extremely physical sports. He described the norms that arose as a product of the competitive sports environment.

Although the ideas of “manning up” or “being a man” came up, he also found a sense of brotherhood in the shared journey of claiming one’s own identity in sports.

“There’s definitely a sense of unity when you all struggle together. You don’t have to struggle in silence, it’s something that you can talk about.

The strength is in showing your weakness and moving forward,” said Pinkerton.

In his pursuit of destigmatizing open discussion about masculinity and men’s mental health, Pinkerton proposed not shying away from difficult conversations and taking the initiative to talk to friends and loved ones about gender. “[Men] make up 75% of suicides s [in Canada]. That is a crazy number to think about, but I think the fact that we’re

now having discussions about it, — talking about why this number is so high and what we can do to [motivate people] not to tough it out, but actually talk to others about it — goes against that old school concept of being a man. I do think it’s changing, and it’s changing for the better,” said Pinkerton.

Rogelio Cruz González As the president and founder of the McMaster Men’s Health Society, Rogelio Cruz González is a second-year life sciences student with a passion for advocacy and

“Often times as men, we fail to take care of ourselves and that ultimately not only impacts us but it impacts the people around us. If you’re not good to yourself, those problems eventually start to [outwardly] express themselves Rogelio Cruz González President and Founder, McMaster Men’s Health Society Mexico, it’s still very enforced that men have to be the providers. They have to be the strong person that carries the family on their shoulders. They’re the ones that show determination and courage and strength . . . and that’s partially due to the

fact that they still stick to their traditional roots of the nuclear family,” said González.

As González has had the opportunity to explore what it means to be a man in various cultures, he has expressed disappointment in certain cultures’ restrictive views.

Having seen the repercussions of trying to make one’s self-identity fit into these restrictive moulds, González stressed the importance of open discussion with others on the topics of masculinity and mental health.

“Often times as men, we fail to take care of ourselves and that ultimately not only impacts us but it impacts the people around us. If you’re not good to yourself, those problems eventually start to [outwardly] express themselves . . . If [people] really try to care for and invest in themselves, to make sure their own needs are met and their own desires are reached, we will create this positive change,” said González.

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guys and then you look at yourself. I have a more slender build, so I [would] think, “am I not a man?” Now that I’ve matured and gotten older, I realized there’s way more to it than that,” said Lindo.

Lindo wants labelling to be less normalized, in the goal of breaking down stereotypes of what it means to be a man.

“It’s kind of happening right now, but I wish society could come to a place where there’s no real image of masculinity. Kind of like what they’ve done in the beauty sector — how they’ve now recently said that all sizes, all shapes and all colours are all beautiful. It should be the same thing for men. All men are masculine,” said Lindo.

For students, Lindo imparted the importance of staying true to one’s own identity.

“People are going to have their own perspectives, views and opinions. Stay true to yourself, and don’t let anyone’s opinion shake you then. Don’t let anyone tell you what you are and what you are not,” said Lindo. @TheSilhouette

Tristan Lindo In his third year of communications studies and a player for the McMaster men’s basketball team, Tristan Lindo described masculinity as a term denoting a sense of respect and power.

As is the case with many individuals, the portrayals of masculinity and body image that Lindo saw in the media as a child largely shaped his definition of masculinity.

“When [you’re] younger, you look at the media and you’re seeing these big muscular

Tristan Lindo C/O MCMASTER ATHLETICS

“It’s kind of happening right now, but I wish society could come to a place where there’s no real image of masculinity.”

Tristan Lindo Men’s basketball team

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Sil Time Capsule: Students on the importance of sex education Students reflect on the importance of sex education both before and during university

Nisha Gill A&C Reporter

Growing up, I took a lot of art lessons. I remember one class our teacher brought out a rickety, old, wooden chair from the back room and put it on top of her desk. The chair would be the focus for this lesson, she explained, but we weren’t going to draw it. We were going to draw everything around it — the desk it was standing on, the wall behind it and all the papers tacked to it, just not the chair.

Sex education is often defined in the same way: in terms of everything that it isn’t.

This is especially true of sex education in schools. Long since a controversial topic, the debate around the content of sex education in schools often revolves around the negatives, that is, what shouldn’t be featured or what isn’t.

However, though the emphasis is typically put on sex education in schools, it is also worth noting that education doesn’t end in an institution.

We’re also educated, implicitly or explicitly through our culture, our experiences, our families, the media we consume, our religion and many more places.

Education happens everywhere.

It also happens in the negative space left behind and what we don’t say or do is just as important as what we do.

“It’s kind of like cultural conditioning. Whatever you’re conditioned to do at home, you’re going to do outside of the home as well. So if at home, you’re taught to be embarrassed about menstruation, about sex, you’re going to project that once you leave home as well. It’s hard to unlearn things, especially when they’ve been culturally inherited because that’s just all you’ve known,” said third-year student, Japleen Thind.

“I come from a culture that doesn’t really value sex education. This is a very dangerous mindset . . . it caused me to have the wrong idea about sex education and it caused me a lot of trouble,” explained fourthyear student, Shae-Ashleigh Owen.

In my conversation with students, there was a very clear distinction between their experiences and thoughts about sex education before and after coming to university.

Before University Before coming to university, most students described sex education as something that happened almost exclusively in

schools. For many students, it happened with male and female students having separate discussions, often in entirely different rooms.

“When I think back to my experiences, I remember any time that boys and girls were together, it would be a lot of hushed giggles and a lot of people being embarrassed and not really wanting to talk. So having that divisiveness in all honestly was kind of effective. Like when the girls were learning about periods, we could ask questions, we could be open . . . That being said, there are repercussions.

That is a very fundamental way that we install stigma around things like periods and other sexual education topics,” said Raisa Ahmed, a fifth-year student.

“That kind of separation throughout sex education was definitely very prevalent in my experience. We were split up into our groups, we’d go into separate rooms and we learned different things. And then it kind of felt like this secret, like “I know all these things now that the boys don’t know” and I feel like you don’t think about that when you’re younger, about how you’re learning different things than they are. But then when you get older, you realize it’s kind of important that

everyone learns the same thing so that we’re all equally knowledgeable about sexual health and anything relating to that,” said Micaela McNulty, a fourthyear student.

It should be noted that while the Ontario public school sex education curriculum was revised most recently in 2019, students currently in university who attended Ontario public schools would have been taught using the 1998 curriculum. A smaller portion would have also been taught using the 2015 curriculum put forward by former Liberal premier Kathleen Wynne.

The 1998 curriculum was not as comprehensive as the 2015 one, as it did not address gender identity and sexual orientation. This lack of representation was something that many students felt strongly about, both at the time and looking back. They wished it had been discussed in more detail. “[We] didn’t cover queer and trans sex education, which for many queer trans students is super harmful. And it’s hard for them because they don’t get that knowledge from anywhere else, especially if they’re not living in an environment or a home that may be conducive to having those conversations,” explained Christian Barborini, a fifth-year

student.

Looking back, students noted they had a much better understanding of what they wished they had learned, whereas as children they didn’t quite grasp the gravity of the topics being discussed. Some suggested that this might have been because they hadn’t yet had any experience applying their education.

At University Experience tends to fill in the gaps of education, however, those experiences aren’t always positive.

“Truthfully, I feel like most of my sex ed learning has come from being sexually active and being in university. It’s such a crazy environment. I feel like you’re so young and you’re going into these experiences and there’s just so much I didn’t know . . . I wish I knew about consent and stigma and UTIs and yeast infections and so much stuff that wasn’t covered.

And it sort of makes me angry a bit . . . I just had to learn by experience and that sucked,” said Mavis Lyons, a fourth-year student.

Some students also noted that negative experiences in particular can isolate students, making it difficult for them to

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feel connected to the community or leaving them vulnerable to further negative experiences.

Overall, experience brought up questions or thoughts that students may not have even considered in the classroom education. This is why many students felt that sex education shouldn’t end in grade nine, as it does in most Ontario public schools. Like all education, it is an ongoing process and it would be beneficial if the formal education system reflected that.

“Obviously, that doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t start early. But I think when we teach developing kids and young adults, it doesn’t resonate as much until they’re older and have actually experienced that stuff. You’re not going to remember everything you learned in grade eight or grade nine. So you need that constant education and to be constantly connecting those points as you go along, otherwise it’s not really going to mean anything,” explained Ahmed.

Sex education — or lack thereof — can have significant influences on students’ wellbeing and sense of community. But open conversation can go a long way to improving both of those issues.

Since coming to university, many students have gravitated towards spaces where there

is the opportunity for such conversation, such as the Pride Community Centre, the Women and Gender Equity Network or clubs like Period at McMaster.

“I needed a space like the PCC when it came to university because I didn’t have that before.

So I think that that speaks to the importance of community and community organization, especially for marginalized communities when it comes to sexual health because we don’t get that anywhere else. I know that for me understanding sexuality and my sexuality specifically was a journey that did affect my mental health at one point when I started university and, connecting it back to the PCC, that’s the reason why I value the PCC and other queer organizations that I have worked for. Because they’ve offered me that space to explore my identity that I didn’t get in elementary and high school,” said Barborini, who is also the coordinator at the PCC. “It felt almost therapeutic just having a space to discuss what your experiences are, especially on a taboo topic. I think that can be really helpful . . . just having an open space to talk about your experiences has been really valuable,” explained Thind, who is a member of Period at McMaster.

Students felt that these

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spaces have been especially beneficial to their mental health and their overall sense of wellbeing.

Their involvement in groups such as these has helped them better understand topics related to sex education and health.

“Now that I went to university, especially with [Period at McMaster], I found more people who have had experiences like mine and I don’t find it embarrassing anymore . . . I feel super comfortable talking about it now,” explained Celia Arrecis, co-president of Period at McMaster.

These groups also provide a vital sense of community.

“I think just the sense of community in the sense of having like-minded people around me who care about the same things [has] been a pretty positive influence on my mental health,” added Ahmed, who is the founder and co-president of Period at McMaster.

Conversation is essential to encouraging education and both are integral to fostering a sense of community. There is an increasing awareness about the importance of both, thanks in part to McMaster clubs and community organizations.

Moving forward it’s important that we continue to have open conversations and educate ourselves so that we can bring

sex education out of the negative space it’s occupied for so long.

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Coming out as nonbinary Gender? I hardly know ‘er!

Fran O’Donnell Contributor

A few months ago I came out as nonbinary, changed my name and started using they/ them pronouns. Let’s talk about it. This piece is fragmented and confusing and deliberately so, because boy, oh boy, gender is confusing.

I came out as bisexual many, many years ago and I (mostly, kind of) have my sexuality figured out. It never occurred to me to question my gender. I’ve always been most comfortable when I looked gender-nonconforming, but I just didn’t think about it too much. My discomfort with my body was probably just unrelated, right? It’s completely normal to want to hide your body away under a mountain of oversized sweaters. It’s absolutely normal to feel uncomfortable seeing your body.

It’s perfectly normal to feel like the person you see in the mirror isn’t really you. To feel like your body isn’t yours.

Right?

I’ve always been most comfortable when I looked gender-nonconforming, but I just didn’t think about it too much. My discomfort with my body was probably just unrelated, right?

Image description of a meme I used to have saved on my phone that I can’t find

anywhere: A brave warrior has just defeated their foe.

The warrior is labelled “Me” and their vanquished foe is “Finally figuring out my sexuality.” But then, behind the warrior, there is an ominous, looming figure labelled “My gender identity”.

Coming out as nonbinary, for me, was a bit like wearing really tight, uncomfortable clothes. You don’t really notice how uncomfortable you were until you take them off. Like “wow, I can breathe again! I didn’t realize I’d stopped breathing”. And once you’ve taken them off, you realize that these clothes haven’t fit you for a long time or maybe they never fit you at all.

Coming out as nonbinary, for me, was a bit like wearing really tight, uncomfortable clothes.

You don’t really notice how uncomfortable you were until you take them off. Like “wow, I can breathe again!

I didn’t realize I’d stopped breathing.”

Before I get too far ahead of myself, let’s talk a bit about what nonbinary means. A binary is made up of two parts. In this case, male and female. We live in a very binary society, with everything divided up into two. You’re a man or you’re a woman. If you’ve ever worked in retail,

you’ll know that you have to address everyone as ma’am, miss or sir, depending on your judgment of how they look. But what happens when someone doesn’t quite fit into one of these categories?

Nonbinary is an umbrella term that covers a variety of identities and experiences.

Some folks switch between masculine and feminine depending on the day, some are both and others prefer to be funky little cryptids that mere mortals cannot identify.

Gender is an intensely personal experience and it varies from person to person. We’re all having gender trouble. For me, I’m most at home outside of the gender binary and I don’t want to be perceived as male or female. So I’m not binary.

When I first came out as nonbinary, I wanted to dress as androgynously as possible.

I wanted everyone that saw me to immediately know that I was nonbinary. I had a vague vision of “nonbinary” in my head and I wanted to match it. Should I cut my hair? Should I throw out all the skirts I love so much?

I didn’t do that. First, I really like skirts. They’re so comfortable and they make me feel like a forest fairy.

Second, this was just another box that I was needlessly forcing myself into. Kind of the opposite of what I wanted, you know? There’s no one “right” way to be nonbinary.

Gender is a spectrum, not a paint-by-numbers.

Why am I writing this now? Because I wish I’d read something like this when I

was younger. Seeing myself represented and being understood is the most important thing in the world to me. So if, like me, you’re questioning your gender, I just want to let you know that it’s okay. Not only is it okay, it’s rad as heck and I’m super happy for you!

As Abigail Thorn said, “I

Seeing myself represented and being understood is the most important thing in the world to me. So if, like me, you’re questioning your gender, I just want to let you know that it’s okay. look inside myself and ask: “Do I feel like a man, or a woman?” And the answer is . . . I feel happy.”

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Self-acceptance takes time Sorting out my disoriented understanding of love Sam McBride Production Assisstant

I’ve always struggled with the question “tell me about yourself.” It’s as if suddenly I forget who I am as I sift through the mess of traits that make up me. The truth is, people are complicated. We all have multiple identities and part of the struggle of being young is trying to uncover them all.

For many years I considered my parent’s divorce a defining part of my identity. The way I thought about relationships, platonic and romantic, was influenced by my fear of being emotionally vulnerable.

I internalized emotions and I kept most people at a distance. Around the few close friends I let into my life I was an open book, but the rest of the time I remained closed off.

Thinking back, there’s not a moment I can remember where my parents enjoyed each other’s company. My parents divorced when I was nine and for a while, things were pretty messy. All I remember thinking was that it was better this way, that everyone was far happier.

I remember travelling to school with my backpack and a grocery bag full of my favourite clothes as I switched between my parent’s houses every two days. Living across town, I led two different lives and had to learn to switch between my identities each time my environment changed. I didn’t choose to be Hannah Montana—it’s just something that happened.

Whenever my parents

came to support me in extracurriculars or school events I would end up anxious, running back and forth between them, trying to balance my separate identities.

Seeing them both, I couldn’t imagine a reality in which relationships were positive.

I lived in the wreckage of an emotional battle. If I was sure of one thing, it was that I never wanted a relationship for myself.

Watching my mom, a strong and fiercely independent woman, I always knew that when I grew up, I only wanted to rely on myself. It wasn’t sad or lonely to me — it was smart. I never felt a need to seek out relationships because I believed that to love someone you first had to love yourself. So I turned inward, determined to build a strong enough sense of self that I would not be hurt by emotions if I ever began to feel for someone.

I had convinced myself and those around me that I was wounded from my parents’ divorce. That I was not interested in finding a significant other. I told myself that I didn’t want to be attracted to anyone but surely, I should have been.

Having no other ideas and a burning desire to fit in, I began to fake it. I remember spending a night in with my roommates, swiping through Bumble. I couldn’t understand what they meant as they rated the attractiveness of each new profile that appeared. That night, I ended up scrolling through all of Bumble, swiping on

I had convinced myself and those around me that I was wounded from my parents’ divorce. That I was not interested in finding a significant other. I told myself that I didn’t want to be attracted to anyone but surely, I should have been. a few men so as not to feel so abnormal. The truth is, I couldn’t understand the feelings my friends felt.

Not long after, I became suddenly more exposed to queer stories through the media I was consuming. I was fascinated by the queer characters in the TV shows and movies I came across. Seeing these characters represented on screen allowed me to come to terms with the legitimacy of a feeling I had been ignoring for so many years.

I was finally able to admit to myself that I am attracted to women and the world finally clicked into place.

At the same time, I was faced with the unease of internalized homophobia and a lifetime of exposure to primarily heteronormative narratives. I was raised neutral to the queer community in that it was seldom a topic of conversation in my house.

But being exposed to a world that assumes heterosexuality as the default instilled in me a feeling of otherness towards the community.

Though I questioned myself, I remembered the same-sex crushes I’d had all through my childhood and teen years that I passed off as admiration or platonic friendships without giving two thoughts to the matter.

I could finally see what my friends had been speaking about all along. Yet I couldn’t help but wonder what my earlier life would have been had I been exposed to more queer stories earlier.

For so long I blamed my parent’s divorce on my disdain for relationships and love. Yet all along, it was just me being unable to see myself for who I am.

For so long I blamed my parent’s divorce on my disdain for relationships and love. Yet all along, it was just me being unable to see myself for who I am.

I think back to the unfortunate conclusions I drew about love so early on in life because I was lost and I wish I could tell myself to keep searching. I recognize that I still know very little, but if I’ve learned anything, it’s that everyone loves differently and everyone’s love is valid. With something so personal, we all have to figure things out on our own time for ourselves. @TheSilhouette

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The stories close to our hearts A Sex and the Steel City reading list Nisha Gill A&C Reporter

This article has been shortened for print. Read the full version at www.thesil.ca The stories we tell ourselves matter. They shape our actions and decisions and inform our beliefs and values. This is perhaps most true when it comes to topics that are especially close to our hearts, such as love and relationships.

For Sex and the Steel City 2021, the Silhouette has compiled a list of books about love, relationships and identity to add to your bookshelves.

PHENOMENAL FICTION Romance is one of the most extensive genres encompassing a large range of subgenres from fantasy to historical fiction. While this variety can be helpful at times, it can also make it more difficult to find what you’re looking for.

If you’re looking for a light-hearted read, try Carry On by Rainbow Rowell. The first in an ongoing series, Carry On follows Simon Snow through his last year at Watford School of Magicks as he works with his friends to uncover a mystery and manages to find love along the way.

Other light romances include Love’s Recipe by Mila Nicks and One Last Stop by Casey McQuiston.

Love’s Recipe is a story for food lovers, following recently divorced Rosalie as she helps Nick try to save

his family’s restaurant.

One Last Stop tells the story of August, a waitress at a 24-hour diner, and Jane, the time traveller she meets on the subway, as August tries to help Jane get back to her own time before it’s too late.

Dealing with questions of culture, community, identity, Islamophobia and sexism among others, Such a Lonely, Lovely Road by Kagiso Lesego Molope and The Chai Factor by Farah Heron are more serious, but still satisfying reads.

Or if you enjoy classics, Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice or Gabriel García Marques’ Love in the Time of Cholera are timeless tales worth taking a look at MEMORABLE MEMOIRS While there’s something special about seeing yourself represented in fiction, memoirs are affirming in a

more tangible way as they show that you are truly not alone in your feelings or experiences.

Samra Habib’s memoir We Have Always Been Here: A Queer Muslim’s Memoir is an excellent example of this, detailing Habib’s experiences growing up in Pakistan and Canada as she wrestled with ideas of faith, identity, love and sexuality and struggled to find a space where she could be herself.

A History of My Brief Body by Billy-Ray Belcourt and My Body Is Yours by Michael V. Smith are two more exceptional memoirs exploring questions of identity and sexuality. In A History of My Brief Body, Belcourt uses his personal experiences to examine the intersection between Indigeneity and queerness, while Smith confronts traditional ideals of gender and masculinity in My Body is Yours.

NONFICTION TO TAKE NOTE OF Education is absolutely essential, especially perhaps when it comes to relationships and sexuality.

Books can be an excellent and informational starting place.

Books such as Ace: What Asexuality Reveals about Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex (Angela Chen) and Selling Sex: Experience, Advocacy and Research on Sex Work in Canada (Emily van der Meulen, Elya M Durisin, Victoria Love) offer comprehensive guides to topics you may have heard about in passing but need to know more about.

Anthologies in particular wonderful for offering multiple perspectives and voices on a given topic. In Big: Stories about Life in Plus-Sized Bodies (edited by Christina Myers), 26 writers share their experiences and explore

the intersection between body positivity and selflove, sexuality and other themes.

Non-Binary Lives: An Anthology of Intersecting Identities (edited by Jos Twist, Ben Vincent, Meg-John Barker and Kat Gupta) is another book with intersectionality at its forefront, touching on the range of answers to the question of what it means to be non-binary in the 21st century.

POIGNANT POETRY Something between fiction and memoir but also something entirely on its own, poetry holds nothing back, conveying a depth of emotion while also dealing with difficult topics with a grace that lengthier literature is often unable to.

Through her passionate and powerful words in Holy Wild, Gwen Benaway explores the intersection between the trans and Indigenous experience, while in Junebat John Elizabeth Stintzi carves out a space for themselves to explore questions of gender identity Another collection exploring identity and sexuality, My Art is Killing Me and other Poems (Amber Dawn) draws on the author’s own experiences and is an unflinchingly honest examination of femineity, sexuality and sex work justice. @TheSilhouette

SAMANTHA MCBRIDE/PRODUCTION CONTRIBUTOR

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Eight queer, sex-positive accounts to follow on Instagram Check out these eight Canadian leaders, educators and groups for sex, gender and health advice Subin Park Staff Writer

From providing advice on your sex life to facilitating safe and honest conversations around sexuality and gender, these eight Canadian leaders, educators and groups are here to inform, entertain and guide you through your journey.

Mela Swayze An educator, consultant, facilitator, coach and speaker, Mela Swayze does it all. Swayze provides training and workshops on 2SLGBTQIA+ workplace equity and building trauma-informed, trans-affirming spaces. They also provide coaching on sex, gender and relationships. They are an influential and highly respected leader in promoting queer and trans inclusion practice. Keep up to date with new programming and services from Swayze on their Instagram.

Yaz the Human Yaz Harris, also known as Yaz the Human, is a yoga teacher and writer. They teach many different styles of yoga including Yin, Vinyasa and Hatha as well as meditation. Harris also writes about their honest experiences with sex, self-intimacy and kinks. Their feed is full of their raw self, with posts discussing body image, self-pleasures and fun dildo reviews.

Jenna Tenn-Yuk Queer, Christian and Chinese Jamaican writer Jenna Tenn-Yuk did not have any role models growing up who shared her intersectional experiences. Today, through her various roles as a writer, facilitator, performer and speaker, she hopes to share unique stories and empower individuals to embrace their identities. She speaks on various topics such as 2SLGBTQIA+ issues, Christianity, diversity, equity and inclusion.

Dev Dev is a queer, transmasculine, nonbinary coach in trauma-informed guided meditation and a pleasure advocate. They offer guided meditation and intuitive readings (such as tarot card and astrology chart readings) for healing and energy cleansing. The services are held and booked through their website, Retrogradient space. If you check out their Instagram page, you will find posts carrying messages of self-advocacy, reflection and community that serve as a reminder to always practice self-love.

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Kama La Mackerel Kama La Mackerel is a multi-disciplinary artist, educator, writer and literary translator. They have worked in many different curational and community-based projects such as Gender B(l)ender, The Self-Love Cabaret and Our Bodies, Our Stories. They run an Instagram account that provides insight into their captivating, multi-faceted work.

Rae McDaniel Rae McDaniel is a licensed clinical professional counsellor, certified sex therapist, coach, educator, public speaker. They are the founder of Practical Audacity, a gender and sex therapy practice run by queer-identified or allied, trauma-informed therapists. McDaniel also runs GenderFck, an online coaching community aimed at helping trans, non-binary or questioning folks with transition and their experiences with gender, sexual identity and/or relationships.

Check out their Instagram page for more about their upcoming workshops and services, and get inspired by their educational and motivational posts on gender journey, mental health and transitioning.

Eva Bloom Eva Bloom is a McMaster alumna, online sex educator and YouTuber. On Bloom’s channel, “What’s My Body Doing”, she discusses anti-oppressive, sex-positive and evidence-based videos. Some of her most viewed videos are on improving your sex life, masturbation and handling a pregnancy scare. She is available to answer all of your, questions on sex and queerness and makes it easy to open up conversations on topics such as queer virginity, self-intimacy and sexting.

Speqtrum Hamilton Based in Hamilton, Speqtrum is a youth-founded and youth-focused community for 2SLGBTQIA+ folks aged 17 to 29 in Hamilton. The group offers a variety of programs, one-on-one supports and community-building opportunities to promote the growth and development of queer and trans youth. It also offers special services for 2SLGBTQIA+ youth who are new to Canada to help them develop a network and community. You can get updates about upcoming events, peer support services and opportunities through their Instagram.

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Artist: Steffi Arkilander @peachlily.png on Instagram Title: love is domesticity Medium: Digital Description: 2SLGBTQIA+ love is often fetishized and over-sexualized.

However, 2SLGBTQIA+ love is so much more than how it’s stereotyped — it can be soft, gentle, kind.

In this piece, I wanted to highlight the importance of soft, domestic 2SLGBTQIA+ love. I took inspiration from watching and reading about 2SLGTBQIA+ in media and also from my own life experiences to come up with this piece. “love is domesticity” highlights a queer couple watching television together and cuddling during a night in.

Artist: Jenna Iacobucci @jennaiacobucci on Instagram Title: Comfort (1-2) Medium: Photography Description: Do what you need to do to make yourself feel confident. From personal experience — turtle necks, baggy sweaters, long pants and censorship has only brought me delayed anxiety and stress in relations. I truly push for everyone to understand themselves. Don’t hide.

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Artist: Emelia Da Silva @emeliainbloom on Instagram

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Medium: Photography

Artist: Edwin Thomas @edwinthomas__ on Instagram

Artist: Jenna Iacobucci @jennaiacobucci on Instagram

Title: his last valentine Medium: single-line digital drawing with watercolour Description: A first glance, drawing appears to portray a man giving his girlfriend flowers. However, the details show both individuals with tears leaving their eyes, trying to keep themselves composed in front of each other. It depicts a failed attempt at saving a relationship by making an effort for Valentine’s Day. While the flowers appear to be a nice gesture, both individuals know that their relationship is not going to last for much longer. In a way, the flowers are an apology to his girlfriend for his lack of effort in the relationship.

Description: As with many, growing up with a conservative mindset brings a lot to overcome. But why should we be so scared to appease others? Each person offers a different experience, different backstory, different perspective, different strengths and different struggles — and it’s wonderful. If only everyone could appreciate the beautiful composition of shapes they are.

Title: Pose me (1-5) Medium: Ink illustration

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Food-flavoured love Serena Habib Contributor

Butter slathered on toast during mornings with grandpa, Soccer games followed by cotton candy ice cream, Pilsbury croissant scented moments with grandma, Family Second Cup runs for hot chocolate with whipped cream.

Sleepovers with strawberries wrapped in homemade crepes, Love in grandma’s curries, which made them preeminent, Candid photos from feeding each other birthday cake, Little did she know that a maelstrom was imminent.

Love stopped. Love shuddered. Love got lost in the rain.

Food led to fights over mealtime. Love was enveloped in pain.

Mentally preparing herself for Christmas baking, Running the chocolate chip calories away, Laughing at dinner while silently aching.

Food-flavoured love was simply not okay.

She watched the boy she loved post pictures with his loved one Sharing desserts and dinners she would never be able to eat, She wanted so desperately to be lovable, But love drifted away, perpetually out of reach.

She had lost love: she did not deserve it.

She would only have the muffin when she aced her test, A test with a framework built upon inadequacy,

Years of high standards, and pressure to be the best.

It was love in her aunt’s heart when she tried to feed her oil, Though she really needed buckets of self-acceptance instead, From her father’s love formed a focus on body image: A love that filled family vacations with dread.

Her mother’s love induced carbohydrated commands, Threats that saved her from withering away, With loathing she ate her way back to rationality — This led to a love that would never go astray.

made cake, Or they commend her on her weight gain at Christmas dinner, And a mended part of her begins to break.

But love is eternal; it’s patient and enduring.

With each winter, it reveals itself more.

Meals filled with laughter and fond reminiscing Are love’s subtle ways of winning her war. @TheSilhouette

Pancakes with peanut-butter mornings of hope, Cotton candy ice cream to celebrate her nineteenth, Love for herself, her family, her journey — Though her journey might never be truly complete.

For sometimes she feels herself slipping through her fingers, She sees her reflection and bursts into tears, But then she grabs some hot cocoa and her purple pen, Reminding herself to push through her fears.

And sometimes she can’t, and her family is hurt, As if she doesn’t love them by not trying the home-

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Humanity Switch? I wish.

Reflections on accompanying loved ones in pain Serena Habib Contributor

cw: Mentions of self-harm and mental illness In The Vampire Diaries, the vampires had an inner mechanism called a “humanity switch.” This allowed them to turn off any emotions that made them human so they could completely and carelessly follow their desires. While I am grateful for my sense of empathy every single day, I sometimes wish I had a little knob I could turn to decrease the pain love brings when people around me are hurting.

However, empathiz-

ing with others allows us to build connections and make a difference in the lives of people around us.

In an interview with Self magazine, Gottman Relationship Institute Co-Founder Julie Schwartz Gottman said that a person’s ability to empathize with others is what makes friendships last.

Psychologists Daniel Goreman and Paul Ekman outline three forms of empathy: cognitive empathy, the ability to understand another person’s perspective; emotional empathy, the ability to share the feelings of another person; and compassionate

empathy, which allows us to understand the other person and moves us to take action to help them.

But what happens when your friend has been suffering severely for years from a mental illness? You can see from their perspective, you are agonizing in their pain and you have already tried everything you can do to help, but it doesn’t feel like it makes a difference.

I am scared. I am tired.

I dream about her dying and I awake to her messages about how they are hurting themselves. Yet, if my friend was dying from cancer, I would stay with her until their dying day.

How is it any different with a mental illness?

The definition of love as understood in our society can be summed up by the famous Bible passage from 1 Corinthians.

I think about that quote when I think about our friendship.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.”

I am being patient and I am being kind. I do not want to be friends with anyone else. I do not think I am a better friend. I am not prideful about what I have done in the friendship for I know we have helped one another.

“It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” I try not to be angry, but it enrages me to see people suffering so gravely due to circumstances they cannot control.

“Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.” I am grateful for the honesty in our relationship and I want to

be there as a listening ear.

Our friendship was built upon rawness and mutual support.

“It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” I always refrain from saying things that will be triggering or telling my friend how much this is hurting me because she already feels guilty for it. I do not give up and I never will give up on her being okay.

I always get excited at little glimmers of hope when she messages me about recovery or when we text about mundane things all day, but then I am dejected when the illness re-emerges and I once again see myself losing my best friend.

I get swept up in this whirlwind of pain and hope and confusion and I feel like I am trapped by the friendship that has brought me so much life and liberation.

But then I realize that friendship goes both ways.

I am not being honest with myself or patient with myself. I am expecting myself to do everything perfectly and blaming myself if anything goes wrong.

I need to follow these rules for myself. I need to be honest when I need time to put on my oxygen mask so we can both make it through these tumultuous times. Seeing as I can’t flip a switch to make this change, I’m not quite sure how to do this, but I am working on it. @TheSilhouette

C/O LEIGHANN BLACKWOOD

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Matching and marriages Thoughts from an Indian emigrant on arranged marriages

Sharang Sharma Contributor

cw: mentions of gender-based violence As a kid, I was always proud of my parent’s love marriage. For those of you who are not familiar with arranged marriages, the term “love marriage” may feel redundant. As an Indian emigrant, I was always aware of the dichotomy between these two, though I never really understood the difference.

I used to think that arranged marriages were strange, archaic and even barbaric rituals, where families forced their children into unwanted marriages where they would live loveless lives. So I was proud of my parents.

They escaped! They were romantic revolutionaries!

But as it tends to be with most things in life, things weren’t this simple.

Though there are still countless forced marriages that occur in and out of South Asia, arranged marriages are just defined as those first set up by the families of those being wed. One family has an unwed son, another an un-

wed daughter (since these are, for the most part, very heteronormative) and the two families think they’ll like each other. They set up a meeting and see how it goes between them.

I once thought arranged marriages only occurred in India, but many emigrants still get arranged marriages. Often the couples live out long and loving marriages, as my aunt and some of my uncles can attest to.

Yet still, this notion struck me as strange. Isn’t love meant to be individual? Isn’t love supposed to come before marriage? After all my years living away from India, my family and the culture to be found there, I couldn’t really fathom the idea of getting an arranged marriage and why one would do so. So I asked my parents about it.

Usually I think of arranged marriages as an old tradition, so I was briefly baffled by my dad’s story of putting up an advertisement in the local newspaper to find his sister a match. He took a small break from his doctoral research to go around meeting the families of prospective matches, a

“scoping study” as he jokingly called it.

He met a “shady” Delhi family and another from Chandigarh, whom he described as trying really hard to come off as “trim and prim.” Finally, he met my uncle’s family.

They were nice, well-off, their son (my uncle) was employed and they even had some links to family friends! After a bit of vetting with these family friends, they decided to set up a meeting between my aunt and my uncle-tobe and soon enough they agreed to marrying each other.

The red thread running through his story was family. Usually in such marriages, the wife will go and live with her husband and his extended family, becoming a part of his family. This isn’t just a union between two people, but between two extended groups. What my dad did was make sure that the family that his sister would become part of one that would take care of her.

This was a process to ensure she would be happy.

However, there was a darker, blood red thread running parallel. My grandparents wanted my aunt to marry someone from the same caste and class: this was a non-negotiable. This aspect of arranged marriage is

something we cannot overlook, especially as it becomes more normalized through shows such as Indian Matchmaking.

Due to my mom’s bad experiences with arranged marriage, she is not a fan of the institution. She remembered one US expat, who had a short-list of his prospective matches and the grades he had given them. That’s right. Grades.

B, B+, A- and so on his short-list ran. One word stood out as she spoke about this: “humiliating.”

Being graded as though one were a mere collection of attributes and characteristics which could be quantified and maximized.

The other experience was being pressured to marry by a certain age. My mom not so fondly recalled her dad pressuring her to get married before she was “too old.” Well, she knew a woman who had been pressured into an unwanted marriage and her husband had turned out to be emotionally and physically abusive. This was not the life my mom wanted.

The pressures my mom and other women faced are less prevalent for men. My dad got married in his early 30s and his parents never tried to push him into a marriage he didn’t want. This dark side of arranged marriage had

turned me against it when I was young. My mom had told me all about it: arranged marriages are steeped in patriarchal practices. Though perhaps not the barbaric practice it is often viewed as in many western countries, it is not a clean one either.

Talking to my parents was elucidating, but still I don’t think I could ever get an arranged marriage.

However, this is not to say that love marriage and marriage as seen from a more western perspective is perfectly ethical.

In fact, talking to my parents helped me realize the issues obscured in our own rituals of dating, love and marriage. Class and caste are important for many people, but only arranged marriages are upfront about it. It would also be absurd to imagine that we have totally torn down patriarchal structures. Rather than only criticize these issues in arranged marriages, we ought to use them as a mirror to examine our own practices of love.

@TheSilhouette

PHOTO C/O FEMINISM IN INDIA

www.thesil.ca | Friday, Feb. 26, 2021

The Silhouette

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Lessons from my sister: kaleidoscope of love What happens when your sister starts dating your close friend?

Niko Haloulos Contributor

When my sister started dating one of my closest friends, I felt like I was looking into a kaleidoscope. I was distracted by the twisting shapes of my emotions, thoughts and feelings, but as time went on, I decided to look at their relationship as a full, unified pattern and it changed everything.

When we were allowed to see a few friends outdoors, I hosted a 19th birthday party. As smoke and laughter filled the air, I peeked over to see that my friend had snuck into the chair beside my sister. I guess they had been talking the entire night, even though they had never met before.

I woke up the next day and realized that my sister was acting giddier than normal. When I asked her about it, she simply said, “You know, if your friend there ever asks for my number, you can give it to him.”

Suddenly I realized that my friend and my sister had begun to develop something that they both thought was special.

I couldn’t hinder that so when I met up with my friend a few days later, I offered to give him my sister’s phone number. He accepted.

I did not think much about the consequences of setting them up. It seemed like pretty standard procedure, just passing along a phone number and encouraging my friend to ask

her out on a date. At the time of the party, my sister was only a few months removed from a gruelling breakup so this felt like a good way for her to meet someone for whom I had the utmost respect, trust and love. For my friend, it was a chance for him to meet someone who would help him become a better man. So why did I have such a problem with it?

I began to close myself off from the two of them and I felt myself disliking my friend for a few weeks.

I constantly reminded myself that I had offered to share my sister’s phone number and that I had known that he would be a really, really good match for her. Even though I knew this deep down, on the surface I could not help but feel like they were pulling themselves away from me.

I knew I could trust my friend but suddenly, like the flip of a switch, I went into protective brother mode. I couldn’t look at

my friend without wondering how he was going to treat my sister poorly and though I know she can stand up for herself, it felt necessary.

Whenever my friend would come to the house, it felt like my sister and I were fighting over him. I would only be allowed in the basement for a certain amount of time because eventually she would ask to be alone with him. I would throw the “Well, he was my friend first. Why can’t I talk to him?” and my sister would become frustrated. I said passive aggressive things about their relationship and got angry whenever she said he was coming over.

Soon enough, my sister became worried that I had a problem with their relationship and the anxiety in her expression when she asked me was devastating.

I didn’t own anybody. My sister is strong and knows her own worth, but for her to suddenly think that she would be offending me

was a wake-up call.

My friend, too, became worried that he had crossed some kind of line.

He asked my sister if I was truly unhappy about them being together and said he wished I would talk to him personally. When my sister told me what he had said, I was saddened.

I had been blinded so much by my pride that I forgot to consider one thing: happiness. Being with my friend had brought a sparkle to my sister’s eyes that had been absent for a long time. My friend, too, slowly began to change, becoming more mature.

After long talks with my sister and my friend, we reached a better place.

We still had some small riffs, but the instances of disagreement became more lighthearted, rather than rooted in jealousy and regret. When he came over to see my sister, I knew my only role was as the brother. When my friend and I planned to

hang out, I didn’t discourage him from saying hi to my sister.

I’ve realized that all three of us have become stronger emotionally by sharing this love that propels itself in different directions. My trust in my friend has grown exponentially because of how he has treated my sister.

While we’ve always been close, I have been able to communicate more openly with my sister since her relationship with my friend started.

The awkwardness took time to clear and I had to communicate very openly about how I felt. Now I’m still standing in the middle ground, figuring out how to equally distribute my time between my friend and my sister and not get in the way of something truly special. Their relationship is not a violation, but more of an invitation for me to explore just how appreciative I can be about something that is so genuine, pure and beautiful. @TheSilhouette

ESRA RAKAB/PRODUCTION COORDINATOR

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Finding comfort in the little things Comfort is at the heart of local underwear business Bed Peace Intimates

Bed Peace Intimates prioritizes diversity, sustainability and comfort.

C/O MAYA LYN

Nisha Gill A&C Reporter

Feeling comfortable in your skin can go a long way. Often overlooked though is the importance of being comfortable. Both ideas of comfort are at the heart of Maya Lyn’s business Bed Peace Intimates.

The idea for Bed Peace Intimates initially came to Lyn in high school. Since then, she gathered the necessary experiences that made her vision a reality.

She studied fashion arts and business at Humber College and then took an intensive sewing course at George Brown College before launching her business on Instagram in spring 2017.

Lyn makes mostly underwear, bralettes and sports bras, usually in bright, vibrant colours.

It was important to Lyn to ensure her business was sustainable so all her pieces are made-to-order using made-in-Canada organic cotton hemp.

Since launching, the reception has been overwhelmingly positive. An added bonus of her madeto-order model and using Instagram is that Lyn is able to have more interaction with her customers than she might have had otherwise.

“So they’ll send me pictures afterwards, or they’ll write really sweet messages about how perfectly they fit or how they love the colour,” explained Lyn. At the core of her business is the belief that fabrics we keep closest to our bodies should be comfortable and make us feel good. That’s why she’s very appreciative of the feedback because it helps

her to see that her business is fulfilling its goals.

Everything comes back to these ideas of comfort and kindness for Lyn. “It’s all about comfort for me. I seldom call it lingerie because I’ve never been attracted to lingerie. It’s just not my jam but intimates to me that means they’re comfortable, they’re flexible. You can wear it at work, you can wear it at home, you can wear it when you’re resting. And it’s also sexy.

When you feel comfortable in your body you are prone to feeling sexy and good in your body because you feel comfortable,” explained Lyn. Especially in the context of the pandemic, choosing something comfortable (and colourful!) can go a long way in making individuals not only feel more comfortable in their bodies but also for

brightening their days a bit.

“I know the few days that I haven’t got dressed in the morning, those days are just hazy. And it’s kind of fun but you do feel a little bit like the day is just a big blob. So maybe having Bed Peace, putting on a nice sports bra that’s comfortable, that doesn’t have an underwire and putting on a nice, comfortable, colourful pair of underwear and then putting on some sort of comfortable, but home outfit could be a game-changer for people who are stuck at home and feeling it,” said Lyn. Comfort is for everyone and Lyn feels strongly about ensuring that all aspects of her are accessible and inclusive. She offers a sliding scale for those who may need it. She also strives to be size-inclusive, featuring a size range of small to three XL.

In regards to the promotion of her business, such as for photoshoots, it’s very important for Lyn to work with photographers and models who are Black, Indigenous or People of Colour.

“Collaborating together and being a part of the collaboration team to be like, “Okay, what would make you feel excited to see on an advertisement for underwear?” [is really important] . . . I’m just thinking about how a brand can be all-encompassing and mindful about representation and tokenism and how to actually just make something that’s really cool and authentic visually,” added Lyn. Lyn’s Bed Peace Intimates helps to highlight the importance of feeling comfortable in your skin, figuratively and literally, but furthermore it also actively encourages individuals to seek out comfort and helps them find it.

Currently, Bed Peace Intimates is on a brief hiatus but Lyn has plans to resume her business in the spring.

@TheSilhouette

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Sil Sit Down with Dr. Iman Banerji How pelvic floor physiotherapy can help with sexual dysfunction

Urszula Sitarz News Editor

This article has been shortened for print. Read the full version at www.thesil.ca The Silhouette sat down with McMaster graduate and current licensed physical therapist Dr. Iman Banerji to discuss pelvic floor physiotherapy and how it can help folks experiencing pain or discomfort with sex.

Banerji graduated from McMaster in 2017 with a bachelor of science and is now a pelvic and orthopedic physical therapist working in North Carolina after graduating from Duke University in 2020. Banerji always knew that she wanted to be in healthcare.

“I was always told as a child of immigrants that I need to become a doctor, but I never really thought about what that meant until I was actually in the thick of undergrad thinking about grad school,” said Banerji. “I started looking into other different realms of healthcare, other ways that I could be part of the healthcare team and combine my love for human connection and science with being a health care provider and upon looking into it a little bit more I realized that physiotherapy was actually more so the path that I wanted to take.”

When asked about how she became interested in pelvic floor therapy, Banerji said a friend brought her to a student-run pelvic

health meeting where she learned about the different conditions and about the patient population.

She felt that, through PFT, she could challenge the historical and present issue of women in healthcare not always being believed or taken seriously. She also wanted to be a healthcare provider for all genders.

“With pelvic floor physiotherapy there’s a great chance to work with the trans population, who also has a very difficult time navigating the healthcare system, unfortunately. Again, I wanted to be a part of that and I wanted to be a healthcare provider that was inclusive to all genders,” explained Banerji.

The pelvic muscles are an important part of urinary and digestive health as they support the bladder and bowels. They also play an important role in sexual dysfunction.

“So if you are having pelvic pain or pain with sex, sometimes these muscles can be the root of the cause. [If] you notice that insertion or penetration or ejaculation or arousal or anything of the kind feels a little bit painful, the culprit could actually be your pelvic floor muscles,” explained Banerji.

PFT can help reduce pain and increase pleasure in sex through both emotional components and physical exercises. Banerji stressed that consent is essential in all physiotherapy and with consent, a physiotherapist may conduct a pelvic floor assessment to understand and intervene

McMaster alumna Dr. Iman Banerji wants you to know that sex shouldn’t be painful.

C/O IMANI BANERJI

with the pain.

“We can see if your pain is reproduced and if it is, can we do some type of manual intervention to the pelvic floor to see if it can calm down and relax a little bit more, if we can relieve some of that pain . . . we find ways to exercise the pelvic floor in such a way that it can relax and lengthen and not feel so painful on its own. So, there [are] many different strategies and many different techniques that we can use to help reduce pain,” said Banerji.

PFT relieves pain through a multi-modal approach. Banerji emphasized that physiotherapy is holistic and often includes an acknowledgement of the different factors that

contribute to pain, including past experiences and trauma.

Stigma, shame and systemic factors around sexuality and sexual dysfunction can contribute to patients feeling disempowered or prevent them from seeking care. People with vaginas are often socialized to believe that pain with sex is inevitable, prioritizing a heteronormative and patriarchal notion that sex is only about men’s pleasure. “[Sex] should be consensual and it should be fun and it should be pleasing and all these things, but it should not be painful,” said Banerji.

When asked what she would say to folks experiencing shame with their

pain or sexual dysfunction, Banerji promised that no providers will judge or make you feel embarrassed.

“For anyone who is thinking about going down this route, it’s okay if you’re not ready. Not everyone is ready to be part of the journey of being in pelvic PT. It is very personal and it’s very intimate for a lot of people and not everybody is ready for that and that’s okay.

But, if some of the things that I talked about could potentially resonate with you, just know that there are pelvic-specific physios out there who would be more than happy to help you, with your symptoms whenever you are ready.”

Banerji explained that while PFT can be an important pain management tool for many, it may not be the only treatment. She also explained that though it may take some time to find a physiotherapist that you feel comfortable with, it’s worth it.

“This is not just you.

There’s nothing wrong with you. This is just something that you’re experiencing, but it is not a defining factor of who you are and there are things that we can do about it together,” said Banerji.

Physiotherapy is direct access in Canada and the United States, meaning you do not need a referral from a physician and can reach out to a pelvic health physiotherapist directly.

@TheSilhouette

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SPORTS

Sports Define your own beauty Brass Beauties empowers Hamiltonians with the art of pole-dancing

Krishihan Sivapragasam Sports Editor

Seven years ago, Lisa Esposto started pole-dancing. She originally bought into it to strengthen her core. After a month of pole-dancing, she became hooked on taking daily classes.

“It helps me a lot mentally, helps me look at myself in a different way, [I] became more confident in my everyday life . . . It also helps with some physical appearance demons that most females deal with at some point,” said Esposto.

A year later, she purchased the studio from the owner, turning it into Brass Beauties.

The name comes from the foundation of treating everyone equally beautiful, as explained

by Esposto.

“Everyone creates their own beauty. You can see your instructor, but you’re never going to move like them; you’re going to find your own way.

It may be a hybrid, but you’re going to put your own twist on it,” said Esposto.

“Everyone creates their own beauty.

You can see your instructor, but you’re never going to move like them; you’re going to find your own way. It may be a hybrid, but you’re going to put your own twist on it,” Lisa Esposto Owner of Brass Beauties As an owner, Esposto’s main responsibilities primarily look at the finances and management of the studio. But as an instructor, she helps women to feel more empowered in many different ways. “Anybody can do it, you just have to put the time

in like everything else in life . . .

It’s just how much you want it,” said Esposto.

On a personal level, Esposto tries to ensure women are comfortable within the studio.

She provides them a space to dance that empowers and distracts them from what’s outside the studio’s four walls.

“Life is hard outside, it’s just a space to let them forget about the crappiness of life. If they’re having a bad day, they talk to me and we just go from there. I look at them as my family,” said Esposto.

Despite the studio not being your typical weights gym,

“Life is hard outside, it’s just a space to let them forget about the crappiness of life. If they’re having a bad day, they talk to me and we just go from there. I look at them as my family,” Lisa Esposto Owner of Brass Beauties Brass Beauties still provided a social atmosphere to its dancers. “Not only are they getting a workout, but we also joke around. So they are missing the social aspect of it right now,” said Esposto.

Esposto also re-iterates how the dancers come together as a huge support system and thus, motivate each other. “If someone catches you slacking, they’re going to call you out,” said Esposto.

Brass Beauties holds a variety of classes: fitness, dance, tricks, flexibility, hammocks.

The fitness class is all-levels whereas, for the dance classes, they vary by levels, from beginner pole-dancing with heavy instruction to more advanced classes where freestyle is available. A popular trick class

includes upside-down dancing.

Flexibility classes include all types of stretching. There is also a floor dancing class, so dancers can transition from the pole to the floor and vice versa.

While the majority of the patrons are adult women, the studio has offered 4-week hammocks classes for children prior to the COVID-19 pandemic.

Now, due to the pandemic, the hammocks can’t be used due to public safety guidelines on cloth usage. With that being said, there are plans for the studio to expand its target audience.

“The plan is to, at some point in the future, incorporate male students. We’ll probably run another children’s program, which was a huge hit,” explained Esposto.

Aside from the classes, Brass Beauties holds two annual shows. Their last show was just before the March 2020 lockdown. They also participate in the Festival of Friends every year, where dancers perform with a portable pole. Two years ago, the studio had the opportunity to participate at Supercrawl.

In the pandemic, the studio had the opportunity to re-open from July to December, in accordance with the provincial government’s guidelines and restrictions. “It’s a bit of a struggle to offer online classes because not everyone has the equipment [pole],” said Esposto.

When thinking about the long-term future of the studio, Esposto emphasized the importance of exposure to more festivals and accessibility to equipment. “Right now, my main focus is getting out of COVID and getting the girls back on the poles,” said Esposto.

@TheSilhouette

SAMANTHA MCBRIDE/PRODUCTION CONTRIBUTOR

The Silhouette

www.thesil.ca | Friday, Feb. 26, 2021

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Mac Athletes Care adjust game plan for Think Pink After making changes this year in response to the pandemic, Mac Athletes Care still raises over $5,400 for the Juravinski Cancer Center Jovan Popovic Staff Writer

Each year at McMaster University, many athletes from different sports around the school unite to strengthen the athletic charitable efforts with Mac Athletes Care.

This past week, their objective was to help promote awareness and fundraise for the Think Pink initiative — an annual project surrounding the battle against breast cancer.

Briana DaSilva, a field hockey player and member of Mac Athletes Care who has been active in the Think Pink initiative, spoke about the organization.

“The Think Pink campaign is all about raising funds and spreading awareness around breast cancer. In some way or another cancer has impacted all of us and it is beyond important for us to do what we can. Typically Think Pink would have a wide range of running events, from bake sales and raffles to spikeball tournaments and shoot for the cure,” said DaSilva.

The COVID-19 pandemic has cast difficult times on many during the pandemic. Many organizations inside and outside of McMaster had to undergo serious change in order to keep running successful operations.

In wake of the pandemic, the Think Pink initiative looks much different than in previous years. In-person event programming has become a well-known fixture of Think Pink week.

However due to limitations brought by COVID-19, this had to change.

“Since we cannot fundraise or have in-person events, we had to switch everything completely virtual. This limited the options of events we could host and online engagement tends to be lower than in person,” added DaSilva.

Megh Rathod, a men’s rugby player and active participant in the annual event, discussed some of the hardships the organization has undergone recently,

ESRA RAKAB/PRODUCTION COORDINATOR

with the pandemic being one of two tragic events to have happened to Mac Athletes Care.

“Since we cannot fundraise or have in-person events, we had to switch everything completely virtual. This limited the options of events we could host and online engagement tends to be lower than in person.”

Briana DaSilva Field hockey team “It’s been a challenge as well because we don’t really have a staff sponsor or supervisor this

year. . . The second challenge is what can we do in terms of the initiative. Usually, we rely on people being able to spare a couple dollars at the David Braley Athletic Centre, but we realized that with COVID, money might be a bit more of a constraint and it would be more difficult to get one or two dollar donations through an online platform,” said Rathod.

As such, the Mac Athletes Care team realized that an information campaign was more suited for this year, given the initiative being run online.

“We built an awareness campaign. That was something that we didn’t really cover much in the past. This year we shifted information to be more when you should get screened, or who should be concerned, breast cancer and its prevalence and some statistics to inform individuals and begin that conversation. It was a new addition this year that we hope to carry forward . . . Last year we were really successful in raising

$5,400, usually because we can really take advantage of DBAC and the facilities and the in-person traffic and we usually set up tables there over the week,” said Rathod.

As effective and important as awareness can be, the club understands the importance of raising funds to put towards the Juravinski Cancer Center and has continued to attempt fundraising.

“With things looking a little differently this year, we are selling masks and t-shirts through the campus store and the proceeds will go towards Juravinski Hospital and Cancer Centre Foundation. On our Instagram page, we have some neat infographics and there is also the virtual “shoot for the cure” happening as well,” said DaSilva.

Cancer is a hard fought battle that many have unfortunately lost to and although individual efforts might not be enough to cure the vicious disease, each contribution makes a difference, taking a step closer to the end

goal.

The ongoing pandemic has made things more difficult for the Think Pink initiative, but Mac Athletes Care hasn’t given up and is ready to keep battling this together.

@TheSilhouette

GLORY HOLES AND YOU: HOW TO HAVE A SAFE SEX LIFE DURING A PANDEMIC G7

FRIDAY

THE

HAMILTON SPEC PECULATOR ULATOR UNSUCCESSFULLY SWIPING ON BUMBLE SINCE 1934

Februar y 26, 2021

NOTSPEC.COM

Socially distanced Valentines Since you’re afraid of leaving home, mail your bae one of these

Roses are red, March never ended, ......

To: From:

Let’s be like the NHL and form our own bubble in Edmonton.

From:

To:

Are you Q-ute Anon?

Because you have the secrets to my heart.

To:

From:

This just in: you have acclaimed my heart

I’ve been Biden my time to ask you out.

To:

From:

Call me proctoring software because I got my eyes on you.

To:

Disclaimer: The Hamilton Speculator is a work of satire and fiction and should not under any circumstances be taken seriously. Just like my love life.

From: PER ISSUE: a real connection