The Silhouette - February 13, 2020 by The Silhouette

Thursday, February 13, 2020

Our annual sex, love and health issue // PAGES 15-26

INSIDE>>

NEWS: A look at queer politics in Hamilton over the past year // PAGES 6-7 FEATURE: Mac Alum Eva Bloom talks about her sex-positive work // PAGES 8-9 SPORTS: Stepping inside Allure Fitness // PAGES 28-29

The Silhouette

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@THE SILHOUETTE

/MCMASTER SILHOUETTE

@MCMASTER SILHOUETTE

Volume 90, Issue 15 Thursday, February 13, 2020 McMaster Universityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Student Newspaper

LOOKING BACK

Feb. 14, 1975

EDITORIAL BOARD

HOT AIR

editor-in-chief | thesil@thesil.ca

Hannah Walters-Vida

MSU president-elect Peter Cameron rose above the masses in a hot air balloon on the first day of the Earth Days festival in February of 1975.

digital media specialist | dms@msu.mcmaster.ca

Maxine Gravina managing editor | managing@thesil.ca

Neda Pirouzmand online editor | online@thesil.ca

Razan Samara production editor | production@thesil.ca

Elisabetta Paiano sections

NEWS Trisha Gregorio news reporter Shamir Malik news@thesil.ca

news editor

FEATURES Adrianna Michell features@thesil.ca

features reporter

OPINION Steffi Arkilander opinions@thesil.ca

opinion editor

SPORTS sports editor Graham West sports reporter Kyle West sports@thesil.ca ARTS AND CULTURE arts & culture editor Andrew Mrozowski arts & culture reporter Lauren Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Donnell artsandculture@thesil.ca MEDIA photo editor Cindy Cui photo reporter Matty Flader production coordinator Katarina Brkic production coordinator Zoya Gomes production@thesil.ca ONLINE Jaden Lall social media coordinator Erica Mark video editor

COVER PHOTO Matty Flader and Andrew Mrozowski

WE WANT YOU

The Silhouette is always looking for volunteers! Come out to a weekly meeting or email one of our section editors for more information on how to get involved. NEWS

PRODUCTION

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LEGAL

CONTACT

The Silhouette welcomes letters to the editor in person at MUSC B110, or by email at thesil@thesil.ca. Please include name, address and telephone number for verification only. Letters should be 300 words or less. We reserve the right to edit, condense or reject letters and opinion articles. Opinions and editorials expressed in the Silhouette are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of the editorial board, the publishers, the McMaster Students Union or the University. The Silhouette is an editorially autonomous newspaper published by the McMaster Students Union. The Silhouette Board of Publications acts as an intermediary between the editorial board, the McMaster community and the McMaster Students Union. Grievances regarding the Silhouette may be forwarded in writing to: McMaster Students Union, McMaster University Student Centre, Room 201, L8S 4S4, Attn: The Silhouette Board of Publications. The Board will consider all submissions and make recommendations accordingly.

MUSC, Room B110 McMaster University 1280 Main Street West, Hamilton, ON L8S 4S4 Editor-in-Chief (905) 525-9140, ext 22052 Main Office (905) 525-9140, ext 27117 Advertising ccpc@msu.mcmaster.ca published by the

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NEWS

www.thesil.ca | Thursday, Feb. 13, 2020

News

Sightings of cockroaches call McMaster’s pest control plan into question As students post videos of cockroaches, city of Hamilton Health department determines university’s pest control plan is adequate “They determined that we had an aggressive pest control plan and no food safety/ cleanliness issues were identified,”

Shamir Malik News Reporter

On Dec. 5, 2019, a video titled “Cockroaches at Centro (McMaster University)” was uploaded to YouTube. The video compiles several sightings of cockroaches at Centro cafeteria. “McMaster University must decide when to address these issues and stop pretending that they don’t exist, like they have been for the last couple years. Just because health inspections are passed does not mean the facility is clean,” reads the description of the video.

“McMaster University must decide when to address these issues and stop pretending that they don’t exist, like they have been for the last couple years. Just because health inspections are passed does not mean the facility is clean,” Youtube video description On Dec. 9, 2019 another video, titled “More cockroaches at centro” was uploaded to Youtube. It shows a cockroach sitting on the metal lid of a grill while food was being prepared. “Some people were questioning whether the pictures were not from Centro . . . As you can clearly see there is a

Chris Roberts Director, McMaster Hospitality Services

ELISABETTA PAIANO/PRODUCTION EDITOR

cockroach at Centre Stage, one of the most popular locations within Centro itself. It doesn’t take that much imagination to foresee a scenario where a cockroach could fall into your food,” reads the description of the video. More recently, additional sightings of cockroaches at La Piazza cafeteria were posted to Mac Confessions, one of McMaster’s student confessions Facebook pages. On Feb. 4, 2020 Mac Confessions published a video titled “The cockroaches from La Piazza would like to say hello” that shows a cockroach sitting on a napkin near baked items at La Piazza. Director of McMaster

Hospitality Services Chris Roberts cautions students against students accepting online posts as fact. “We cannot control the posting of comments or photos on social media sites, whether they are actual or fictitious,” states Roberts in an email to the Silhouette. Roberts explains McMaster Hospitality Services has a transparent relationship with the City of Hamilton health department. “As soon as [student complaints were] brought to our attention, we notified the [City of Hamilton] health department in early December and asked them to come and inspect our locations and review our pest

control plan. They determined that we had an aggressive pest control plan and no food safety/ cleanliness issues were identified,” stated Roberts in the email. Moreover, Roberts explains that McMaster Hospitality Services has already met with Orkin Canada, McMaster University’s pest control provider, to increase pest control efforts throughout the school year. “As of December, we have increased our preventative maintenance service from once a month to twice a month and also now schedule ‘blasts’ of all public spaces during breaks when students are away (Christmas, Reading Week, Summer and Fall Break),” added Roberts.

According to Roberts, pests are not always indicative of food safety issues. “As McMaster has many older buildings on campus, pests are not an uncommon site [sic] regardless of the use of the building (academic, administration, facility services or food service)” stated Roberts. Cockroaches on campus may have additional impacts on students. According to the World Health Organization, cockroaches may carry germs that spread disease. Additionally, according to Orkin Canada’s website, cockroaches are known to trigger allergic responses in approximately 12 per cent of individuals with no other allergies. Roberts adds that McMaster Hospitality Services is continuing to work with the CIty of Hamilton’s health department and Orkin Canada.

@TheSilhouette

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NEWS

www.thesil.ca | Thursday, Feb. 13, 2020

Putting their business degrees to good use Toques from the Heart makes toques and supports children’s hockey programming

Shamir Malik News Reporter

Casey Rogan and Matthew Milne, two level III commerce students at McMaster University, are collecting knit hockey socks and repurposing them into toques that they’ve been handing out to help vulnerable community members, particulary those facing challenges of homelessness, stay warm this winter. The duo has co-founded Toques from the Heart, a Hamilton-based non-profit organization that provides an opportunity for hockey players to donate hockey socks to give back to their local communities. According to Rogan, he and Milne came up with the idea on July 30, 2019, while both of them were enrolled in summer school. “[Milne] had the initial idea when he was younger, and got the idea to ask his mom to change knit hockey socks into toques just as a fun little thing

. . . and his mom actively sews so she did it for him, [so] we’ve had some of the toques for a while,” explains Rogan. Upon further discussion, Rogan and Milne decided to start donating toques by directly handing them out in Hamilton and Toronto and selling others to raise money to support hockey programming for children. “As McMaster students in our third year of commerce, [we] really felt that we wanted to get the most of our university experience . . . [we] wanted to make things happen for us, and not just wait around to get out of university without having any experience,” said Rogan. Four months later, Toques from the Heart officially launched on Nov. 15, 2019, with the goal of collecting 200 knit hockey socks by the end of the year. In 2019, the organization reported that they were able to achieve more than triple their intended goal, receiving approximately 700 knit hockey socks. Each sock donated can be repurposed into two toques.

Rogan explains that he was overwhelmed by the amount of support and feedback the program received from the community. “In just under two months, we were able to pass our goal and collect 700 knit hockey socks through donations, [this can make] approximately 1400 toques . . . and have donated many of them [to the] Downtown Hamilton and Toronto areas,” said Rogan. Toques from the Heart also sells repurposed toques to community members for $20 to raise money to support children’s hockey programming. “We have enough money to cover [the] initial costs and all the funds coming in now are going towards this initiative [of supporting hockey programming]. In the future we would love to sponsor our own Toques from the Heart team and have kids who don’t have these opportunities to be able to play hockey,” explains Rogan. By the end of 2020, Toques from the Heart has set a goal of

raising $5000 and help 500 Canadians stay warm this winter by collecting 2000 knit hockey socks. The organization is also looking for potential sponsors, partnerships and opportunities to expand within the Greater Toronto and Hamilton areas.

By the end of 2020, Toques from the Heart hopes to raise $5000 and help 500 Canadians stay warm this winter by collecting 2000 knit hockey socks. “We are actively contracting Maple Leaf Sports and Entertainment and Canadian Tire. We’re [also] trying to get donations in local arenas and bigger arenas and work with

these bigger companies to get the word out there and get exposed in the hockey community,” Rogan added. According to Rogan, the organization has also given them the opportunity to engage with seniors in the Hamilton community. “[On Jan. 26], we went out to two retirement homes, and held a [toque-making] session . . . folks helped to make some toques and in the coming weeks they will take on the production of the toques. They were all super excited about [us] coming and happy that they had a chance to give back to their own communities,” Rogan explained. Rogan adds that Toques from the Heart is always looking for additional volunteers. More information about the organization can be found on their website. @TheSilhouette

Connect to Careers Job Fair As difficult as the post-university job search can be, we encourage you to find inspiration in your peers and use it to drive your own search. Samantha, a Communication Studies graduate of 2017, covers her path into Social Media Marketing at Loblaw Companies Limited: “The best advice I can give when in an internship is take on whatever is given to you with open arms, even if you have to ask questions and figure stuff out for yourself. And always look out for ways you can contribute more, network more, and learn more.” On a warm summer afternoon, you’re going to walk across that brightly lit stage and shake David Farrar’s hand in a celebration of all you’ve accomplished while at McMaster. Sadly, we can’t all stay at McMaster forever, most of us move on from the campus into the big wide world of external career opportunities. Finding your footing after graduation isn’t

easy for most, it’s full of anxieties and uncertainties that can leave you frazzled. The McMaster Alumni Association recognizes that and is here to support you in your transition from a McMaster student to a McMaster Alumni. We’ve been covering stories of Mac alumni finding their way after school and have run into some inspiring characters, such

as Nicole St. Eve who offers some pragmatic advice in her Life After Mac story: “…when starting out in your field of study [is] take on a pay cheque, because we all gotta eat! Keep learning, keep modernizing your professional presence and don’t give up”.

Your Life After Mac changes drastically and can be difficult to navigate. It’s important to get a headstart on the competition when entering the difficult job market. It takes some months or years to find their first full-time job, while others are able to find them quicker. Don’t put a timeline on your professional development and understand that everyone will evolve and

grow at their own pace. The Connect to Careers Job Fair is happening on March 5th at the FirstOntario Centre in Hamilton. This large, city-wide job fair is a great opportunity to explore career options, meet amazing employers, and network with your peers who are in a similar situation. Look for other great resources, events and opportunities uniquely for job seeking students in SSC & Alumni partnered #LifeAfterMAC programs. alumni.mcmaster.ca For additional information, please contact Connor Blakeborough at: blakebcn@mcmaster.ca

Sponsored by:

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NEWS

www.thesil.ca | Thursday, Feb. 13, 2020

Queer politics in Hamilton: A year in review A look at the fraught relationship between the city of Hamilton and the local queer community Hamilton Pride 2019 at Gage Park C/O i heart hamilton

Pride and transgender flag at Hamilton City Hall C/O CBC News

Hamilton Pride 2019 protest at Gage Park C/O CBC News

Trisha Gregorio News Editor

cw: homophobia, physical violence, white supremacy, religious extremism The annual Hamilton Pride event held on June 24, 2006 was interrupted midway by a group of homophobic soccer fans. The soccer fans allegedly swore and spat on those marching in the parade, but the Hamilton police were quick to respond, forming a barrier between the fans and the parade participants. At the time, Lyla Miklos, a Hamilton-based activist, creative and journalist, was a board member of the Hamilton Pride committee. She was also one of many who marched in the pride parade — an experience she detailed thirteen years later in a deputation to the Hamilton police services board on July 18, 2019. The deputation came a month after a hate group violently interrupted the 2019 Hamilton Pride event. A video from the scene shows a snippet of the commotion, which occurred in the middle of Gage Park and away from Pride festivities. Anti-pride demonstrators gathered at the event, shout-

ing homophobic and white nationalist rhetoric. The video appears to show a religious group holding signs with phrases from the Bible and accusing Pride participants of perpetuating “sin”. Another group is shown attempting to protect Pride-goers from the anti-pride demonstrators, trying to erect a black curtain to cover the anti-pride group and their signs. Eventually, the confrontations escalated to punching, grabbing and choking, with one of the disruptors hitting pride-goers in the face with a motorcycle helmet. In the aftermath, the Pride Hamilton board of directors published a statement saying that the situation would not have escalated to such a violent degree had the police responded sooner. The statement also discusses Pride Hamilton’s multiple attempts to explain to the police that a similar protest happened during Pride 2018 and that they expected the number of protestors to escalate for 2019. Nevertheless, Miklos’ deputation from July 18, 2019 points out the differences in police responsiveness between the 2006 and 2019 Pride events. “. . . I am puzzled as to why

the [Hamilton] police were unable to mobilize themselves in the same way [they did in the 2006 Pride parade] at Gage Park for Hamilton Pride in 2019, especially since they knew in advance that there was a threat,” she said. Pride Hamilton’s statement also touches upon the relationship between the Hamilton Police Services and the local queer community. “There have been long-standing issues between the 2SLGBTQIA+ community and Hamilton Police Services that remain unresolved. We feel that this was an opportunity for police to demonstrate that they were there to protect and act in solidarity with the community,” said Pride Hamilton’s statement. However, not all members of the 2SLGBTQIA+ community believe that increasing police responsiveness is the answer. A

June 2019 study from McMaster’s department of labour studies surveyed 900 members of Hamilton’s queer community. Approximately one third of respondents stated that they had been treated unjustly by police, and transgender respondents were more likely to report unfair treatment. Some recount the events of Hamilton Pride as an example of the 2SLGBTQIA+ community coming together to defend themselves. Indeed, the protest at the Pride event is only one part of the fraught history between the city of Hamilton and the members of its local queer community. On May 16, 2019, Hamilton appointed Marc Lemire as its IT network analyst. From 1995 to 2005, Lemire ran Heritage Front, a now defunct neo-Nazi white supremacist organization. He was also the

webmaster of the Freedom Site, which hosted the websites of several Canadian anti-Semitic organizations. In an email to CBC News, however, Lemire denied being either a white supremacist or a neo-Nazi. Despite Lemire’s claims, the Hamilton LGBTQ advisory group responded to Lemire’s appointment by stating in a motion that with the city allowing Lemire to work for and with them, it had failed to show solidarity with the marginalised communities in Hamilton. According to the LGBTQ advisory group, Lemire’s employment threatens the safety of city staff and volunteers that belong to these communities. The advisory group is also protesting a police services board appointment from April 2019, which it believes was a missed opportunity to appoint someone who was part of a marginalised community instead of another of the white, straight men that comprise a majority of the current board. Another criticism from the advisory group is that the city didn’t implement a transgender and gender non-conforming protocol as quickly as they should have. The protocol was established three years after an incident in 2014 that sparked an Ontario Human Rights tribunal settlement. The advisory group also alleged that the committee behind the protocol was chosen by the city arbitrarily, without careful regard of who would best serve the intentions

The Silhouette

www.thesil.ca | Thursday, Feb. 13, 2020

of the protocol. In consideration of all this, the advisory group declared that since the city has failed to demonstrate solidarity with the 2SLGBTQIA+ community in Hamilton, it didn’t want the city to fly flags in honour of Hamilton Pride 2019. However, on May 30, 2019, rather than adhering to the advisory group’s request, city officials still chose to fly flags symbolic of Pride and the transgender community — only without hosting a flag-raising ceremony, in an attempt to reach a compromise between the city’s plans and the advisory group’s request. In a CBC article from the time, Mayor Fred Eisenberger insisted on flying the flag, citing that one advisory group does not represent the entirety of the LGBTQ community. “There’s a much broader audience out there, including our own staff,” he said. Cameron Kroetsch, chair of the LGBTQ advisory committee, acknowledges that some 2SLGBTQIA+ residents might have wanted a ceremony and that people would have felt differently about the flag-raising. “It’s a powerful

symbol, and you can’t perfectly represent everybody,” he said. Less than a month after this, on June 15, 2019, the 2019 Hamilton Pride event was interrupted by a hateful protest, and tensions between the city of Hamilton and the local queer community came to a boil. Mayor Fred Eisenberger tweeted his reaction to the Pride incident, “I am disappointed with the events that transpired at yesterday’s Hamilton’s PRIDE celebration at Gage Park. Hate speech and acts of violence have no place in the City of Hamilton. We are committed to being a Hamilton For All where everyone feels safe and welcome.” However, the mayor’s intentions did not bring any positive impact for the remainder of the year. On June 18, 2019, a community conversation regarding Hamilton’s 2SLGBTQIA+ residents ended in a heated discussion about the lack of effort from Hamilton police in keeping Pride participants safe. On June 22, 2019, in an

outcry against the arrest of Cedar Hopperton, an anarchist activist charged with alleged parole violations following the Pride incident, protesters marched from the Hamilton police headquarters in Barton Jail, where Hopperton was detained. Hopperton, a prominent member of the Hamilton queer community, was the first arrest made following the Pride protest. This drew questions and criticism, as videos of the June 15 incident also showed at least two alt-right protesters committing violence against participants of Hamilton Pride. Hopperton’s supporters also argued that Hopperton was acting in defense of the community while the Hamilton Police failed to arrive at the scene in a timely manner. On Aug. 6, 2019, around two dozen members of Hamilton’s 2SLGBTQIA+ community, alongside allies, set up an encampment at Hamilton city hall in protest of the Hamilton police’s alleged failure to stand in support and in assistance to the city’s marginalised communities. On Aug. 27, 2019, the Hamilton police expressed the desire to improve their relationship with the city’s

2SLGBTQIA+ community. Jackie Penman, the spokesperson for the Hamilton police, claimed that the police’s goal was to identify what should be done to reestablish communication between the Hamilton queer community and the police. Nevertheless, a month after this, on Sept. 10, 2019, Chief Eric Girt of the Hamilton police makes homophobic and transphobic comments on the Bill Kelly show. One month later on Oct. 10, 2019, the police board denied a request from Kroetsch from the city’s LGBTQ advisory committee to provide a deputation to the board, claiming that Kroetsch wanted to speak about city issues and not police ones. When asked about where the police should start with repairing its fractured relationship with the Hamilton queer community, Kroetsch points out that the work behind this has already been done by many kinds of groups long before 2019. “The chief quite clearly stated that he knew what the issues were. So I think the start has to be … getting a plan from the City of Hamilton, getting a plan from city police to talk about what they’re planning to do now … What can you do, what are you able to do, how are you able to participate in this conversation marginalised communities have been asking you for decades?” said Kroetsch. He also spotlights the frustration felt by many

Hamilton Pride 2019 at Gage Park C/O CBC News

Pedestrains walk on rainbow sidewalk outside of Hamilton City Hall. Cindy Cui / Photo Editor

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members of marginalised communities, who have already done a lot of talking and who have to relive traumatic experiences in sharing their accounts with others. Kroetsch says that he does not see a plan coming forward from any civic leaders that truly take into account what marginalised individuals are telling them. In a similar vein, Miklos criticizes the constant defensiveness from the mayor and the chief of police. She calls for more compassion and urges the mayor to do something more helpful than simply showing up at cultural events. Regarding the future of the city’s relationship with the local 2SLGBTQIA+ community, Kroestch said that it is up to the city, including the police, to listen and engaged with the right folks. “There’s a lot of awkwardness there and uncomfortability, and they have to find a way to work through that for themselves, and work through what it means to engage with marginalised communities … And that’s really the start of the work and I think it’s a long road for that. But the sooner they get down that road, the better,” said Kroetsch.

@TheSilhouette

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FEATURE

www.thesil.ca | Thursday, Feb. 13, 2020

Compassionate casu Online sex educator Eva Bloom talks about her career and how students can have better casual sex

Adrianna Michell Features Reporter

Thinking about sex education for many Ontario students brings back memories of latex condoms on bananas or ancient overheads showing anatomical diagrams in uncomfortable middle school classrooms. Sex education for many university students was characterized by giggles, awkward silence, confused teachers, and misinformation. Ontario’s repealed and then mostly reinstated 2015 curriculum gives the students of today a better chance of understanding their bodies than those of us subjected to the 1998 curriculum. Still, the biggest difference between our adolescence and the current generation’s is technology. While we

only had MSN chat rooms and Yahoo answers, those growing up in the media saturated world of today have more access to information about their bodies and sexualities than ever. Reliable, inclusive and accessible information isn’t so hard to find thanks folks like Eva Bloom. Bloom, a McMaster alumnus, has an ever growing online presence under the moniker @WhatsMyBodyDoing, where she uses her schooling as a sex researcher to create engaging and informed content about sex and sexuality. Whether it be tips for exploring feminist sex toy stores or navigating disclosures with partners, Bloom is breaking down complex topics into byte-sized posts and colourful memes. How did Bloom get started in the sex education field?

Combine an interdisciplinary undergraduate program, sex nerd status, and volunteering at the campus health centre: that’s the recipe for a burgeoning sex educator. Still, Bloom admits: “part of the reason I was inspired to do sex education was because I had a lot of really bad sex.” Encouraged to follow her interests, Bloom started to make YouTube videos about sex ed topics that she wanted her peers to know about. Online sex ed made sense: she could tell each friend about an important health topic individually, or she could make a video about it and hopefully reach thousands. Especially with sex and sexuality, technology helps bypass the

barriers or discomfort that may prevent some from engaging with important health information. “Technology can be a tool to reach more people with sex ed and start conversations online when they’re scary to have in person or not possible to have in person.” Beyond sex education, technology can also help broach uncomfortable conversations between partners. Bloom’s Masters research into sexting explores how intimate conversations through technology might improve sexual experiences, especially for women and non-binary folks. “I think that my kind of perspective on sexting and technology is that it can be this huge tool to kind of open the door for talking about sexuality because it can still be really

scary to even talk to partners about what you like and what you don’t like.” Talking to partners about sexual health can be a daunting task, especially in casual relationships. Bloom recognized the importance of rethinking communication in hook-up culture and created a workshop to that seeks to centre compassion. “How to F*ck like a Hufflepuff ” is a casual sex workshop that borrows its name from the nicest Hogwarts House within the Harry Potter world but with less quidditch and more condoms. Bloom describes the workshop as a place to educate people about respect in all kinds of relationship structures.

The Silhouette

www.thesil.ca | Thursday, Feb. 13, 2020

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al sex is blooming “You can be treated with kindness, you can be treated with care in whatever kind of relationship structure at your end, including casual sex.” The workshop has evolved over time alongside Bloom’s identity. Now, “How to F*ck like a Hufflepuff ” incorporates more ideas from the LGBTQ2SIA+ community and tenets of non-monogamy. Queer relationships flip the scripts on what hookups are supposed to look like, inviting more compassion and communication. “Can men and women really be friends? . . . Like there’s the very strict binary of you’re friends or you’re fucking. But with queer sexuality in relationships . . . you can have crushes on your friends and you can fuck your friends and there’s more of a fluidity.” So how can you create compassionate casual relationships? Bloom says to make it clear what you want out of each encounter

or new person. Explain clearly that you’re looking for casual sex with people who are going to be kind. “I’m a big fan of the filtering coffee date,” says Bloom. “Get coffee with them, see kind of what their vibe is . . . you don’t need to tell each other your life story, but I feel like that’s a really good way to filter people out and also kind of like set the tone that you’re looking for something maybe more consistent.” Still, conversations about sex can be scary, especially in a culture where they aren’t commonplace. Bloom suggests texting instead. In the heat of the moment it can be easy to forget to mention STI status or preferred contraceptives, whereas texting is takes away some of the pressure of serious conversations and keeps sex interruption-free. Bloom suggests a few important questions you might

want to cover with a potential sexual partner: “How often do you want to be in communication? . . . How often do you text them or talk to them? How often do you want to see them? How much you want to talk about stuff that isn’t sex?” Establishing boundaries is also important. Conversational boundaries are often unexplored, but can prevent some uncomfortable situations. Discussing what conversations are on or off the table with a friends-with-benefits, or as Bloom calls them, acquaintance-with-benefits, helps keep expectations and limits clear. “Mental health stuff, I feel like that’s a good boundary to have. Are you gonna tell them when you’re having a bad day and do you just want them to send you pictures of puppies? Or are they actually someone that you want

to talk stuff through with? Or maybe it’s better to rely on your friends for that.” Bloom reminds these are all conversations that can happen before a hookup via text or even sooner if you put your boundaries and what you’re looking for in your bio. Being clear about your desires while swiping can help weed out partners who aren’t going to bring compassion to the bedroom. Whether it’s your next Tinder date or friends-with-benefits-fling, keep in mind communication and compassion. As adults, reclaiming the sex education we weren’t taught in school can improve our sex lives and make us better, more compassionate partners. Alternative educational spaces, like online

content or Potter-verse-inspired workshops, offer information we might have missed out on or needs updating for a tech-savvy dating world. Looking forward, Bloom is planning an online version of her “How to F*ck like a Hufflepuff ” workshop in the coming year. For her fellow sex-nerds, check out Bloom’s newsletter where she shares sex research papers and other sex-research-related things she is excited about. You can check out Bloom’s Instagram, YouTube videos, or watch her co-host Sex-Ed School for more.

@adriannagracem

ELISABETTA PAIANO/PRODUCTION EDITOR

MSU VICE PRESIDENTS ELECTION

Learn what it takes to be one of the next three Vice Presidents of the McMaster Students Union.

SARAH FIGUEIREDO

SHEMAR HACKETT

ALEX JOHNSTON

As the Vice President (Administration), there are three overarching areas for which I am responsible: overseeing services, facilitating the political aspects of the MSU, and planning Welcome Week. The portfolio is extremely vast and varied, which at times can be overwhelming; however, it presents the opportunity to work on many different projects and facilitate healthy growth of the MSU’s most student-facing outlets. I support student leaders across the organization, including Part-Time Managers (PTM), members of the Student Representative Assembly, and Executive Board members. There is also room in the VP (Administration) portfolio to work on personal projects. Considering that hiring is a key part of my role, one of the goals I had for my term was to rethink and strengthen MSU hiring and on-boarding processes for new PTMs. Improving these internal processes is essential to ensure the MSU can effectively support those who work for the organization directly, in addition to the undergraduate population as a whole. On top of the formal management tasks and priorities, a great deal of the role involves building relationships with MSU staff and volunteers, so that the organization can run smoothly. Through my time as the VP (Administration) I have realized that organizational skills, approachability, event planning abilities, and an open mind are core requirements for the role. If you have these skills, I encourage you to run for the job. It has helped me grow immeasurably as a person and is an experience that I will cherish for a lifetime.

Within the Vice President (Education) portfolio, there are two main objectives of the role: advocacy and educational campaigns. The former focuses on meeting with government stakeholders at federal, provincial, and municipal levels, whereas the latter focuses on McMaster-specific initiatives. Broadly speaking, these two pillars include hosting voting campaigns, writing policy papers, running educational campaigns, and advocating for increased financial supports for students. The VP (Education) works closely alongside a team of student volunteers and is supported by the following Associate Vice-President positions: University Affairs, Municipal Affairs, and Provincial & Federal Affairs. While in this role, I have realized that adaptability, time management, and organization are key to being successful as VP (Education). Having extensive knowledge of the post-secondary sector is key to being able to guide the advocacy work central to this position. With that said, much of that information can be learned through consultations during the election process and while in the role. I almost didn’t run for this position, as I felt that I simply didn’t know enough, but I have since learned that there is a significant amount of room to grow and learn on the job. Lastly, preparation and professionalism are essential, as the VP (Education) often meets with Ministers, MPs, MPPs, City Councillors, and University representatives to advocate for student interests. If you are interested in this position, or just curious to know more for your future candidacy, please feel free to reach out and ask questions.

The Vice President (Finance) role is a unique position for recent graduates. It is a challenging yet incredible learning experience that allows for the development and enhancement of one’s leadership, management, and communication skills. Specifically, the VP (Finance) is elected to ensure that the $15 million in revenue the MSU collects is used responsibly and effectively, for the benefit of undergraduate students at McMaster. I oversee the day-to-day operations of all the MSU services and business units, create strategic plans for revenue generation and the longterm sustainability of the organization, and support student-led initiatives. Some of my projects for the year have included expanding The Grind, introducing TwelvEighty 2GO, rebranding Union Market, and updating the MSU website. Although this position requires a strong fiscal steward, a formal background in finance or commerce is not necessary. The VP (Finance) is supported by multiple fulltime staff and supervises the Associate VicePresident (Finance), who work together to ensure MSU finances remain transparent to students. Although there are ample opportunities to strengthen your skills and abilities while on the job, the VP (Finance) must be capable of being a strong advocate on behalf of students. The role requires one to work with a variety of stakeholders, relating to the University and external partners on transit, student space, financial accessibility, and many other student issues. If you have any questions or would like to learn more about the position, please feel free to reach out to me - I would be happy to chat.

VP (Administration)

vpadmin@msumcmaster.ca 905.525.9140 x23250

FOR MORE INFO visit msumcmaster.ca/ board

VP (Education)

NOMINATION PERIOD March 8th - April 4th

vped@msumcmaster.ca 905.525.9140 x24017

VP (Finance)

VP ELECTION April 4th and 5th SRA Meetings

vpfinance@msumcmaster.ca 905.525.9140 x24109

The Silhouette

www.thesil.ca | Thursday, Feb. 13, 2020

| 11

Letter to the Editor Chinese state propaganda in the Silhouette — seriously? Why it is deeply problematic for the Silhouette to publish Chinese state propaganda Jonathan Hai Contributor William Li Contributor

We were shocked to see the Silhouette publishing, without context, Chinese state propaganda last month. In the original online version of the Jan. 9 article “Chinese students aren’t brainwashed,” the author describes, without evidence, Chinese state media as “quite accurate,” and links to a propaganda article in the Chinese Communist Party-owned China Daily. After being contacted, the Silhouette amended “quite accurate” to match the print version’s

phrasing, “not factually incorrect.” However, this remains misleading. International media outlets, from The Guardian to The Star to the SCMP, have documented how Chinese state media has a history of publishing factually incorrect information to bolster the official position of the Chinese government. Furthermore, the Silhouette linking readers interested in additional information to state propaganda articles — and failing to contextualize them as such—is a disservice to the very purpose of journalism. While we respect the Silhouette’s press freedom, we strongly urge the editorial board to be wary of the

“both sides” fallacy here. Having a legitimate paper like the Silhouette being subtly co-opted to spread the Chinese Communist Party’s propaganda is extremely problematic. This is especially harmful to marginalized students who are being actively oppressed by the CCP, such as Uyghur students facing genocide back home. We urge the editorial board to ask themselves: are we publishing the truth? Or are we being a megaphone for viewpoints that advance the political agenda of a genocidal regime? To the author of “Chinese students aren’t brainwashed”: if you have evidence that the

CSSA deratification violated any discrimination policies, please release it to the Equity and Inclusion Office for a proper investigation. Otherwise, unsubstantiated accusations are counterproductive; instead, finding the truth is crucial to settling disputes and fighting disinformation. Likewise, the Silhouette should remember that good journalism happens when journalists fear not the sky nor the sea — not when they circulate propaganda points from the Chinese Communist Party.

Editorial

Truth and accuracy in opinion pieces Responding to concerns Hannah Walters-Vida Editor-in-Chief

We recently received a Letter to the Editor that was critical of an opinion article the Silhouette published last month, titled “Chinese students aren’t brainwashed”. The opinion article voiced concerns about the anti-Chinese rhetoric that emerged following the de-ratification of the McMaster Chinese Students and Scholars Association last September. An earlier draft of the article, before its publication, had said, “Contrary to what many people in the West may believe, state-run news stories about China, although heavily censored, are in fact quite accurate when they do get published.” During the editing process, this was changed to, “[...] the fact that state-run news stories about China are heavily censored does not make them fac-

tually inaccurate.” This change was reflected in the print version of the article which was published on Jan. 9. After being contacted by one of our readers, we realized that the initial version of the article had been unintentionally uploaded online. Following this realization, the online version of the opinions article was updated to accurately reflect the final version published in print. Regardless, the Letter to the Editor states that, despite the change, this new wording is still misleading. We acknowledge the concerns brought forth by the Letter to the Editor. There is substantial evidence that shows that state-owned Chinese media has been found to publish factually inaccurate and biased information. As a student-run newspaper, we are committed to truth and accuracy, and we recognize that this comes from highlight-

ing a range of perspectives. This mandate has informed our decision to publish the opinion article in question and allow the author to reference state-owned media. However, we also recognize the danger of falling into the “both sides” fallacy, since not all perspectives are true or deserving of a platform. It is our responsibility as an editorial board to ensure that we are not publishing anything inaccurate or harmful. This is what informed our editing process and our decision to change the article’s phrasing. The opinions section gives contributors a platform to share their perspectives. We encourage writers to speak to their own lived experiences, and we prioritize viewpoints from those who have been excluded and marginalized in our community. As we understand it, the purpose of the opinions piece in question was to push against the narrative that students from

mainland China are unable to think critically, and to challenge a prevalent belief that mainland Chinese students uncritically consume Chinese media. The author of the opinion piece in question acknowledges that Chinese state media should be viewed critically, stating, “Chinese people are usually hyper mindful of the fact that the government dominates and controls information inflows. Hence, they do not take media at face value and are usually super critical of it.” In the article, Chinese state-run media is listed as one of many avenues through which Chinese people may receive information, in addition to non-official media channels, social media platforms, online chat groups and western media. Alongside this specific opinion piece, we have also published articles, in both the news and opinion sections, that were critical of the Chinese

government. We will continue to provide a platform for members of the McMaster community to voice their opinions, while editing with a critical eye to ensure that the information we publish is accurate, balanced and fair.

@TheSilhouette

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OPINION

www.thesil.ca | Thursday, Feb. 13, 2020

Opinion Mythbusters: bisexual edition Biphobia is alive and well and living on Tinder Lauren O’Donnell A&C Reporter

cw: Biphobia, Transphobia

Myth III: Bisexuals are promiscuous

Friends, Romans and countrymen, lend me your ears. For too long I’ve had to put up with the same bullshit. This little bi is here to set the record straight. Biphobia and bisexual erasure are a daily reality for bisexual and pansexual people alike. Even amongst the LGBTQ2SIA+ community, biphobia runs rampant. While I have noticed an improvement in recent years, there are still a number of myths about bi folks that Disclaimer before we get into this: I am NOT saying that it’s a bad thing to have sex. remain. Let’s bust them. Have sex with as many or as few people as you want, I support you wholeheartedly! The thing that I do take issue with is people thinking that someone’s sexuality means that they want to sleep with you.Bisexuality is an identity, not an invitation. Have you ever tried navigating a dating app as a bi person? There are three main camps of people you’ll run into. First, unicorn hunters. As a rule, this is a heterosexual There is a common misconception that bisexuality is transphobic because it refers to couple looking for a threesome. As I’ve mentioned, it’s gross to assume that someone’s attraction to only cisgender men and women. There are a number of reasons that this sexuality means they want to have sex with you. Buddy, it is not my fault that you can’t is wrong, but to begin with, trans and non-binary people can be bi. please your girlfriend on your own. Buy a vibrator and leave me out of it. “But Lauren, bi means two,” you say. “So you must only like men and women.” The second group is biphobic people that think that bi folks aren’t queer. I am so Listen buddy, you’re being pedantic. Yes, technically the bi in bisexuality is tired of the “you must be this gay to ride” trope. It’s a relationship, not a rollercoaster. meant to indicate an attraction to two genders. However, bisexuality was first recogI can’t believe I need to say this, but bi people aren’t inherently more likely to cheat nized back when the idea of being transgender or non-binary was mostly rejected by on you than anyone else. Just because we’re attracted to more than one gender doesn’t Western society. At the time (and still, sometimes, today) society only recognized two mean we can’t commit to one person. genders. Our understanding of gender has evolved over time, and so has the definition The third and final group is decent human beings who actually want to date you, of what it means to be bi. bless their hearts. It’s easy to say that bisexual folks are attracted to cis men and women, whereas

Myth I: Bisexuality is transphobic

pansexual folks are attracted to everything in between. It puts us into neat and tidy boxes. It’s easy to do that, but oh boy is it ever wrong. In my experience, the only difference between bi and pan is whatever label feels more comfortable to you. Personally, I just feel more comfortable with bi. My sexuality isn’t limited to the definition of bisexuality, but it feels necessary for me to have that label in order to exist in a society that is defined by labels. My romantic and sexual orientation is messy and complex and trying to fit it into a neat and tidy box is like Cinderella’s stepsisters trying to fit their feet into the glass slippers. Just because it’s easier for you to say I’m only attracted to men and women doesn’t mean There is an assumption that bi people in committed relationships have “decided” that it’s true. they are gay or they are straight. This is so unspeakably invalidating. It makes me feel like I’m right back in the closet again. Not everyone is out here looking for a polyamorous relationship (although if you are, more power to you), some people just want to settle down with one person. That shouldn’t and doesn’t invalidate their identity. Your relationship status doesn’t define your sexuality.

Myth III:

Myth IV: Bisexuals in relationships have chosen a side”

Myth I:

Myth II: Bisexuals are confused

On one side of the biphobia coin is the idea that all bi folks are one step away from coming out as gay or lesbian. Yes, it’s true that some people will use bisexuality as a way to experiment with their sexuality and branch out. Hey, coming out sucks, and I absolutely understand people who want to get comfortable first. That doesn’t mean all bi and pan people are just deluding themselves, it just means that some people may not be comfortable coming out without a transition period. The other side of this coin is the idea that bisexuals are actually just straight and are either confused or looking for attention. For a long time, I thought that I was just confused. I’ll be honest, I actually went back into the closet because I was convinced that other people were bi, but I was attracted to men so I guess I must be straight. I doubted my own damn sexuality, which is nonsense and ridiculous. No one should be made to feel that way.

Myth II:

Myth IV: Sometimes I feel like people have forgotten what the B stands for in LGBTQ2SIA+. It’s not bananas, folks. A part of common human decency is to respect the way that people identify. I don’t need to justify my sexuality to anyone, and I shouldn’t have to. Neither should you. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk. @TheSilhouette

www.thesil.ca | Thursday, Feb. 13, 2020

The Silhouette

| 13

Who’s using whom? Understanding consent within the undergraduate-TA relationship

Two people holding hands CINDY CUI / PHOTO EDITOR Sarun Balaranjan Contributor Henry Challen Contributor

CW: Sexual violence If you have spent any time on Mac Confessions, Youtube, or any other college-focused media, it is impossible to miss the prevailing issue surrounding consent and the way we conceptualize sexual relationships in a university setting. Whether it be a frat party, a first date, or a meal at one of McMaster University’s fine dining institutions, the question of consent remains a topic of the utmost concern. While student-to-student relationships are culturally accepted, faculty-student relationships are generally frowned upon. However, there remains a grey area when it comes to relationships between teaching assistants and students. Ask anyone, and someone will know someone who has engaged in sexual acts with their TA. As both students and adults, we need to think more critically about how consent manifests within undergraduate-TA relationships.

We could recount examples of TAs making sexual advances on their students, but that is not the purpose of this article. Instigating a campus-wide persecution of TAs is not our goal, but rather to think critically about consent and potentially change the current practices surrounding TA-student relationships. Currently, students are theoretically allowed to engage in sexual relationships with their TAs, so long as the department head is notified, a conflict of interest is declared and all marking of that students work is transferred. However, it is pertinent to note that the conflict of interest policy has not been updated since 2001. There have been immense differences in how we conceptualize consent between 2001 and 2020 and it is atrocious that the policies have not been updated since then. Left unchecked, the current power structures produce a wide range of results for students. While many TAs are respectful of their students and their roles as educators, this is not always the case. When relationships do occur, they often place the students in the awkward position of interacting

with their TAs in two very different contexts. Even if a student wants to partake in sexual relations with their TA, it is difficult to extract this sexual relationship from the power structures of their academic lives. This calls for a serious revision of the policies in place surrounding the training and orientation of McMaster’s teaching assistants. It is asinine that Welcome Week representatives are trained for hours regarding sexual sensitivity orientation for merely ten days of interaction with students while TAs are not held to the same standards. It is clear that TAs are placed in a position of more power than a Welcome Week rep and spend significantly larger quantities of time interacting socially with students. At the bare minimum, TAs should be subject to the same training as Welcome Week reps. There is an appalling lack of accountability being placed on TAs by university administration and the faculty that hires them. As we as a culture think more critically about consent, it is necessary that we apply this understanding to all relationships, especially those with

potential power imbalances. It is ludicrous to think that this is an issue that can be dealt with at the discretion of the TA, who simply has to sign off on some forms. This is not only insufficient, but also contributes to creating a dangerous precedent for consent within the McMaster community.

Even if a student wants to partake in sexual relations with their TA, it is difficult to extract this sexual relationship from the power structures of their academic lives. We are not calling for a ban on consensual relationships between adults. However, to create a culture of consent on campus, a deeper awareness of the nuance surrounding consent

should be incorporated into the TA employment contract. In addition, there should be a more robust training process to ensure that TAs are aware of the responsibilities that come alongside their position of authority.

@TheSilhouette

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OPINION

www.thesil.ca | Thursday, Feb. 13, 2020

Coronavirus, racism and ignorance We can, and must, be critical without being racist

Fake quarantine notices and caution tape were put up in a McMaster University residence. C/O SPOTTED AT MAC William Li Contributor

CW: Racism On Jan. 27, somebody with too much time on their hands decided to put fake quarantine notices on a residence room door, complete with McMaster University letterhead and yellow caution tape. McMaster quickly issued a clarifying statement— no, the coronavirus had not arrived on campus, and no, the notices are not legitimate. The stunt was deeply insensitive to those who have been and are being affected by coronavirus, though it was not unique. Somebody at Queen’s University decided to throw a coronavirus-themed party complete with surgical masks and biohazard decor. Additionally, there have been numerous reported incidents of Chinese people, and East Asians more broadly, being stereotyped as dirty and diseased. Outrage in response to these incidents is understandably justified. The Wuhan coronavirus, which the World Health Organization declared a global health emergency, has already killed hundreds and infected tens of thousands. These aforementioned incidents expose a stunning disregard for the anguish and anxiety that many ethnic Chinese folks are experiencing. Our traumas are rendered as props for amuse-

ment; our bodies are reduced to objects of stigma. However, outrage alone is inadequate. Likewise, thoughts and prayers, while appreciated, should not be used as an excuse to avoid more substantial discourse and action. Instead, we must do more. For one, McMaster Daily News’ coronavirus frequently asked questions would be significantly more helpful if it at least acknowledged the racism on campus. Secondly, alongside calling out racism, we must also critically examine why coronavirus is a serious issue, so that students are better able to discuss it without being dismissive or discriminatory. Some students have suggested that media hoopla is triggering an overreaction— that, based on the numbers, coronavirus might even be less lethal than the flu. However, this unfairly dismisses legitimate concerns. Firstly, as students, we must refrain from medical hot takes until more information becomes available. Currently, nobody knows how accurate the Chinese government’s numbers are given their history of dishonesty, such as during the severe acute respiratory syndrome outbreak, experts have cautioned that coronavirus figures are likely higher than what officials are willing, or able, to report. For example, many have questioned the low

figures for Xinjiang, especially given the crowded conditions in the concentration camps holding Uyghur Muslims. However, we should not refrain from criticizing the structural injustices that created this crisis. The silencing and subsequent death of whistleblower Li Wenliang shows how the Chinese Communist Party, with its toxic nationalism and intolerance of dissent, has created a deficient governance system that prioritizes submission to authority over justice and transparency. The anguish in China—desperate people crowding overwhelmed hospitals, others dying in the streets—makes criticism essential to ensuring government accountability for the suffering. Understanding these circumstances—the lack of verifiable information and the structural injustices at play— provides crucial context. Both create uncertainty, which then encourages extra caution. For example, China has led the way in travel restrictions, quarantining first Wuhan, then nearly the entire province of Hubei. Other countries soon followed: Singapore, Taiwan, Australia and dozens more have since banned arrivals from Mainland China. Although the efficacy of travel restrictions is debatable, such dramatic measures show a desire to take precautions against an unknown disease with no cure or vaccine.

On campus, some students have taken precautions as well, most visibly with wearing face masks. Unfortunately, mask wearers have since become targets for stigmatization, as if everybody wearing one is either infected with coronavirus or being overly dramatic. In reality, mask-wearing predates coronavirus, and is a versatile East Asian cultural practice, such as with K-pop inspired fashion accessories or symbols of popular resistance in Hong Kong.

Some students have suggested that media hoopla is triggering an overreaction— that, based on the numbers, coronavirus might even be less lethal than the flu. However, this unfairly dismisses legitimate concerns. During flu season (or international epidemics), wearing a mask is also basic social etiquette in keeping your germs to yourself—nobody likes

being stuck in a bus or lecture hall next to somebody coughing like a trombone, mouth uncovered and germs spewing everywhere. Surgical masks also offer basic protection against liquid droplets, thus making them a sensible complement to handwashing. Next time you see somebody wearing one on campus, please be considerate of the cultural and hygienic reasons for wearing masks, instead of responding with fear or ridicule. In the coming weeks, please be mindful of what others, especially those of us with friends or family in China, are going through. Call out racism when you see it, but don’t stop there. Take time to critically analyze the systemic problems behind the coronavirus outbreak, though refrain from conflating criticism of the Chinese government with denigrations of China or Chinese people. We should all be outraged at the public health disaster in China; we must simultaneously be supportive of fellow students who are negatively impacted. Racism and ignorance detract from these efforts, and thus we must resist efforts to divide us during times of crisis.

@TheSilhouette

Bringing together sex positivity, romance, love and identity Andrew Mrozowski A&C Editor

When I was hired as the Arts & Culture Editor in August 2019, my mind immediately flooded with ideas and concepts of how to approach this year’s Sex and the Steel City issue. For months I stressed myself out as I pondered over ways through which I can ensure that this section was something I would be proud of, but I did not know what approach I wanted to take. In the past, SATSC has explored themes of diversity, sex and safety, just to name a few; however, I didn’t want this year’s issue to simply be a repeat. I looked at my own life for inspiration and thought of identity. Each piece in this issue explores the theme of identity in some essence, whether it be sexual orientation, community

identity, or more broadly the identity of love itself. Each piece has a unique message that can apply to anyone. It was important to me to make this year’s SATSC cover memorable. The candy theming was not only a play on Valentine’s Day; each item represents a different theme discussed in this issue. The rainbow bands on the cover represent queerness; the fuzzy peach rings represents body positivity; the hot lips represent romance; and the gummy bears represent sex. Accompanying this issue is our SATSC trailer, a take on the season 2 trailer of the Netflix original “Sex Education”. It was important to me to incorporate this because I believe that “Sex Education” is really shaping the way we engage in conversation around a subject that has been taboo for such a long time—a goal that SATSC has been striving to achieve since its

inception. To everyone who contributed to the section through written or art submission, to the staff who supported me in the last few months, to those who took part in our video content, to the diligent teams who worked so hard to bring this special issue to fruition, thank you. I would also like to thank my former Arts and Culture Editor (now Online Editor), Razan Samara. Without you pushing me each week to do my absolute best, from being a contributor to now. I could not have done this without your guidance. This is my ode, my ballad, my contribution to the legacy of the Silhouette. With love, Andrew Mrozowski the Silhouette A&C Editor

TABLE OF CONTENTS 6-7 Queer politics in Hamilton: a year in review 8-9 Compassionate casual sex is blooming 12 Mythbusters: Bisexual edition 15 SATSC letter

18 When you need to “prove it”

25 Queer Eye for fashion

19 Pressures in love

26 A day in the life of hook-up culture

20 From the heart 21 Embodied empowerment

16 From hosting RuPaul’s Drag Race to advocating for an inclusive city

22-23 Lights Get Bright Tonight by Katie Van Kampen Untitled 1 & 2 by Kyle West Pluto’s Heartbreak by Claire Kim I Am Beauty by Claire Kim

17 Learning love from literature

24 Loud and proud

28-29 Sliding down and shaping up

PHOTO BY ANDREW MROZOWSKI/A&C EDITOR & MATTY FLADER/PHOTO REPORTER

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SATSC

www.thesil.ca | Thursday, Feb. 13, 2020

From hosting RuPaul’s Drag Race queens to advocating for an inclusive city A conversation with Adam and Steve one year later

Adam George and Steven Hilliard, founders of The House of Adam and Steve MATTY FLADER/PHOTO REPORTER

Andrew Mrozowski A&C Editor

Exactly one year ago, I wrote an article on the minds behind HashtagAdamandSteve, Adam George and Steven Hilliard. Over this year, I have had the pleasure to hang out with the duo at their various events across the city. From Taco Belles at The Mule to hosting RuPaul’s Drag Race contestants at Absinthe, you’re always guaranteed a good time at an Adam and Steve event. Within the past year, George and Hilliard have gone from planning two queer-focused events per month in Hamilton, to five or six events per month. One of their key events have included a show with Thorgy Thor in February 2019, marking the first Ru-girl within the city; the fourth annual Drag Wars; the first Hamilton Pride party at Absinthe; and the first all-Hamilton drag show-

case, Hamilton Is A Drag. “When we first sat down with [the Silhouette], we were bringing really awesome friends of ours from Toronto that were drag performers because there really wasn’t any that were well known in Hamilton . . . and now there is,” said Hilliard. The rise in popularity for Hamilton-based drag was a big deal for the pair. Their events provide opportunities for local Hamilton drag kings and queens to perform within their own city, instead of having to travel elsewhere to find a gig. Although my previous article referred to George and Hilliard as queer event planners, the duo hasn’t used this term for a while. “I feel like as we’ve grown, we take [advocacy] more seriously in knowing that we have a responsibility to do it right,” said George. George and Hilliard have turned their focus towards filling Hamilton with safer spaces for the queer community.

“For a long time, the idea of a safe space was like a bad word to some people. They thought going to a safe space was them hiding away from other people. I don’t think it feels like that anymore, because people are realizing that those spaces can exist and still be fun, open and not isolated,” said Hilliard. Hilliard went on to explain that many of the city’s bars are opening up to the idea of becoming safe, queer-positive spaces. George and Hilliard did not expect this reaction from local businesses.They recalled a time when it was hard to get owners to host their queer events. Now they’ve partnered with approximately seven spaces across Hamilton including Absinthe, The Mule, and Arcade, to name a few. This change in focus led the duo to remove “event planning/ party specialists” from their logo, as they felt those words did not fit their mission any longer. “Adam and Steve, I think

as a concept, has evolved a bit more because we’re not just doing parties. Now, we’re part of the City of Hamilton,” said George. George and Hilliard have partnered with Tourism Hamilton to sell their “Keeping Hamilton Queer” shirts with proceeds going to the Hamilton Aids Network. The pair believe that it is important to give back to the queer community, especially since they hold a highly regarded platform not just within the community, but also in the greater Hamilton area. They also were asked to speak at a training event for city staff in which George, Hilliard and others who formed a diversity panel, discussed how to make Hamilton a more inclusive city. George and Hilliard recognize that they do not speak for the entire queer community, but due to the platform they have ammased, they want to raise up other people’s voices. “As soon as we were asked [to speak at the event] we said

very clearly to the organizer that we just wanted to be clear that we don’t speak for the entire community. We’re just one perspective and one voice in a very large [community] with our own experience. We would never pretend to [speak for them] because everyone has a different lived experience,” said Hilliard. The future is bright for George and Hilliard. Due to the number of events they host, they have decided to change their name from HashtagAdamandSteve to the House of Adam and Steve. In addition, they plan to launch a new website to make learning about the Hamilton drag scene more accessible. The duo will also be hosting events in direct partnership with Tourism Hamilton. On a more familiar note, George and Hilliard will be hosting their next Ru-girl, Detox, on March 7 at Absinthe, and will be starting their newest series, Dirty Drag Bingo with Karma Kameleon at Odds Bar (164 James St. South). “Our parties might not be for everyone, but the point is that they’re for anyone,” said George. The door to the House of Adam and Steve is now open for all those who are looking for a home.

@andrewmrozowski

The Silhouette

www.thesil.ca | Thursday, Feb. 13, 2020

| 17

Learning love from literature An exploration of the relationship between literature and love Nisha Gill Contributor

Literature can be a wonderful escape from the dreariness of the winter months; there are few things better than being curled up in front of a warm fire with a good book. Perhaps counterintuitively, as much as it is an escape from our world, literature has a lot to teach us about the world we live in, especially with regard to love. “Literature is always to some extent about our love and our knowledge of what love means,” explains Professor Noel Glover, of the McMaster University Department of English and Cultural Studies. Literature’s capacity to inspire our imagination is one of its greatest strengths, allowing us to push the boundaries of what is and imagine what could be. It accomplishes this by using settings, characters and plots to not only mimic our experiences, but also expose us to new ones. This exposure prompts us to explore profound and personal questions, such as those pertaining to love, with little real risk. For example, we may wonder at Amira and Duncan in “The Chai Factor” or marvel at Simon and Baz in “Carry On”. We can put ourselves in these characters’ shoes to learn about forms and expressions of love that we have yet to experience, and reap no consequences. After all, it’s “just a story”. “We can see love and come to understand what love means [by] leaving ourselves behind, leaving what we know behind, or at least, being confronted with the question of how we know love and loving relationships from experiences that are not written from our own but that we can be called on to imagine nonetheless. This imagining is both the responsibility and the pleasure of literature,” said Glover. The imaginative nature of literature enables us to explore our identities, beliefs, desires and dreams through worlds and characters that are both astoundingly alike our own and dramatically different. We are able to think on how our lives might follow the same paths as our favourite characters or

ELISABETTA PAIANO/PRODUCTION EDITOR

perhaps instead the roads not taken. By living through these characters we are able to explore and understand what we want from love and how we want to love and be loved, tying these questions of love to larger questions of identity. Glover talks to the way we process romantic questions being linked to how we perceive romance within literature itself. “Literature stages the effects of this image [of identity], both as a personal demand and a socio-cultural repertoire such that there can be room for crisis, transformation, revolt, pleasure and, especially, counter-normative expressions and representations of self in the cultural syntax of gender, race and sexu-

ality. The questions at the heart of identity ‘what am I like,’ ‘what do I want,’ can be inflected and enjoyed in literature in contradictory and exploratory tenses: ‘what does it mean that I am like this character and like that character as well?’; ‘what is the other’s desire?’; ‘what can desire be like?’” said Glover. While literature’s capacity to spark our imagination helps to enrich and expand our view of love by encouraging us to look beyond our own experiences and beliefs, it also has the potential to distort our view of love. This distortion results from the reinforcment of stereotypes, particularly regarding normative relationships and gender roles, that have been established by

classic literature, from Shakespeare’s “Romeo and Juliet” to Austen’s “Pride and Prejudice” as well as more contemporary works such Nicholas Sparks’s “The Notebook”. “[Literature] is inventive . . . of others and relations we may know all-together too well, reinforcing stereotyped expressions of love and loving, oppressive and supremacist stereotypes of who is worthy of love,” noted Glover. Thankfully, in the past few years, there has been an increasing diversity of voices being heard in literature on love, thanks to works such as Richard Wagamese’s “Starlight”, M.G. Vassanji’s “A Delhi Obsession”, Lydia Kwa’s “The Walking Boy”,

Kagiso Lesego Molope’s “Such a Lonely, Lovely Road” and many, many more. Many of these authors grew up without seeing their identities and experiences in love represented in literature and then took it upon themselves to correct this. In doing so, they are setting the stage for new questions and further exploration of love and identity in all its forms. All it takes is for one person to see that there is someone else like them out there in the world to be inspired to embark on their own path of self-discovery. @TheSilhouette

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SATSC

www.thesil.ca | Thursday, Feb. 13, 2020

When you need to "prove it" How constructions of sex and virginity have influenced my queer identity Julia Healy Contributor

CW: Mentions sexual violence Sex and I have a fraught relationship with one another. As a girl growing up as a lesbian in a fairly conservative religious environment, my parents, teachers and peers frequently insinuated that queer attraction, particularly attraction between women, was attention-seeking and a phase. This stereotype made me constantly doubt my feelings and kept me securely in the closet during my high school years. But, once I left home and entered the secular world of university, I was determined to come out. In first year, I began to feel like I had missed out on a lot of romantic experiences by remaining closeted for so long. While I hadn’t even tried flirting with a girl, my 2SLGBTQ+ friends would tell stories about their past high school flings and recent hook-ups at parties. One story that that I would hear and unfortunately internalize starred straight girls who had supposedly just wanted to “experiment,” and had left my queer friends feeling heartbroken and used. Being told that my sexuality was “just a phase” by people back home and by society at large was enough to make me doubt myself. Having this sentiment seemingly confirmed by the experiences of fellow members of the 2SLGBTQ+ community was terrifying. I internalized the idea that I could be misunderstanding my feelings, and that I was just constructing these attractions to seek attention, or approval from my 2SLGBTQ+ peers. I became fixated on the need to validate my identity and thought that having sex with a woman was the only way to settle the nagging fears inside my head. Unfortunately, as an awkward first year who had never even kissed anyone, this plan was easier said than done. I worried that I would somehow mess up and embarrass myself, or, even worse, that I would realize I was straight all along. This idea made me so anxious, I

didn’t even try to date. First and second year went by without a single a kiss to show for it. In the summer of second year, my sexual life completely shifted. After just one lacklustre date with very little chemistry, I went back to a girl’s apartment and stayed the night. She didn’t know that I had experienced my first kiss and had lost my virginity within minutes of each other that night, and she didn’t seem to care about my nervous-

ness. Although, in hindsight, I recognize that this encounter was not very healthy, I felt immense relief at the time that my attraction to women was not a figment of my imagination. Despite this experience, I still hadn’t fully dispelled the negative stereotype about seeking attention, or the fear of falling behind on sexual experiences, from my brain. I started to seek out sexual encounters to validate not just my identity, but also my desirability and my self worth. The fears that I held onto have led me into some unsafe situations. I’ve rushed into sex with people before I was ready, to prove that I am, in fact, a lesbian. I’ve had sex with people before talking about

STI status because I didn’t want them to feel like I was stalling out of disinterest, or for them to lose interest in me. I’ve never been able to properly communicate not being in the mood for sex, wanting to slow down or wanting to stop, even with partners who I knew would have respected my boundaries. I’ve had people hurt me during sex and, perhaps most damaging of all, I have frequently verbally consented to situations while my brain screamed at me to run away. My lack of sexual experience once seemed like nothing but an obstacle between myself and the formation

of a healthy queer relationship with a loving partner. However, after ignoring my own boundaries for so long, I feel like I’m farther from forming whatever a “healthy relationship” is than ever before. The unhealthy attitudes that I have developed towards sex started with the desire to not only validate my lesbian identity for myself, but to have that identity recognized by other queer women. My conservative upbringing started my self-doubt, but it was ultimately the emphasis placed upon sexual experience and the suspicion surrounding virginity within my own community that

pushed me to seek validation through sex. I am only beginning to unlearn my unhealthy attitudes towards sex and to reconcile with my identity on my own terms. At the intersection of sexism and homophobia, queer women face a lot of pressure from society to perform our sexuality in specific ways, often for the gratification of others. Rather than reproducing these pressures within our spaces, we as queer women should uplift one another, no matter where on our sexual journeys we happen to be. @TheSilhouette

ELISABETTA PAIANO/PRODUCTION EDITOR

The Silhouette

www.thesil.ca | Thursday, Feb. 13, 2020

Rachel Lieske Contributor

The popular astrology app CoStar is known for daily insights that are customized according to a user’s astrological chart. Every day at 10:37 am, CoStar sends me daily affirmations, recently with a recurring theme surrounding “pressure in love.” I usually shrug off the AI-generated insights, but the idea of “pressure in love” echoed in my mind—it felt symbolic of young love, and everything it represents, and caught my attention. There’s a common narrative that persists around young love. Finding love that lasts in your adolescence is the one way to create a fairytale ending. Needless to say, a fairytale ending is merely a fictional account. There is a lot of love rhetoric echoed in our culture like “you’ll find love once you stop looking”, but aren’t we supposed to be finding love now, just as many of our parents did at our age? Like any frantic Gen Z, I texted all of my friends and asked them if they felt “pressure in love” and if they felt that there was an inherited timeline to find it. As it turned out, most of my single friends were pessimistic about finding love and felt a pressure weighing

them down. Here’s what they had to say. “There’s a lot of pressure regarding the demographic and social aspect of it all. If you’re in a city that is full of people your age and your living the typical university lifestyle then it should be easy to find a significant other, but it’s really not.” - Allie, 20 “[University] seems like a perfect time to meet people, and a lot of people are finding love. At the end of the day, media makes love seem like this whole encompassing thing that everyone craves but I’m not so certain it’s the end all be all.” Robyn, 19 “I think the pressure comes more internally than externally, especially when I see people who have had lots of relationships in high school and university and I feel like now there’s less time to find my ‘soul mate’. If those people have been through so many relationships and haven’t found the one, how can I with less time?” - Taylor, 20 “There’s a lot of cultural pressures because for me, my parents are Russian and there’s an unspoken standard that you will find a person to marry within university and if you can’t, it’s like, ‘Okay, what’s wrong with you?’”- Devon, 21

Coincidently, most of my friends who were in relationships said that they never felt pressured to be in relationships. Instead, romantic love randomly found its way into their lives. However, they experienced a different sort of pressure; a pressure to experience single life fully in university. “There’s more of a pressure to not find love because of single culture being so dominant with university nightlife and online dating!” - Alex, 20 “Finding love shouldn’t have a timeline to it. It shouldn’t be a race. If you don’t find love by 25 it doesn’t mean that you’re undesirable!” - Vanessa, 20 “I felt more pressure to be dating than to find true love. I didn’t feel like I needed a soulmate, but I didn’t want to get to a point where I felt so much less experienced than everyone else that dating would feel impossible later on,”- Quinn, 20 “The short answer is no, I don’t feel the pressure to find love in university but I’ve been in a relationship most of my time at school, in which the first one was very all-consuming and overbearing so I actually felt the pressure to be single for once.” -Mary, 20 It’s undeniable that our adolescence is a time of experimentation when it comes to

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love. We may make dumb decisions that we come to regret, but we can use the lessons from our successes and failures to help navigate the world of dating. Although past successes and failures help us navigate new relationships the pressure still persists: to find something real, raw, lasting and most importantly, loving. Other pressures come from trying to understand how to balance personal growth and romantic growth. In the infancy of our adult lives, we underestimate how many commitments we already have, and how large of a commitment love is. At some point, we have to give up on some of our commitments, and most of the time it’s a battle between love or loss. When we open our hearts to love, we also open our hearts to loss. Inevitably we might feel a combination of both. Choosing love is an act of bravery that deserves credit for its commitment to vulnerability and its gamble with loss. The pressure can be grave and intimidating but somehow always finds its way into our lives, in this @TheSilhouette

C/O PAVEL RATHAN

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From the heart

www.thesil.ca | Thursday, Feb. 13, 2020

With love lingerie stitches handcrafted self-acceptance Lauren O’Donnell A&C Reporter

Midnight blue velvet covered in snowflakes, or red roses and lace entwined on sheer mesh fabric. These are a few of the pieces you can find within the collections at With Love Lingerie, an indie lingerie brand located in The Cotton Factory (270 Sherman Ave. N.). Carrie Russell, the owner and creator of With Love, says that the brand name was inspired by her process of making every piece with love. With Love’s Instagram feed and promotional images emphasize body diversity. Before opening her own lingerie business, Russell worked in the mainstream lingerie industry, an industry with a history of leaving plus-size women out of their lines. Russell admits that when she first started With Love, she made pieces only in smalls, mediums or larges, with little wiggle-room for people who didn’t fit into those constraining categories. Even though she is an advocate for body positivity and acceptance, Russell didn’t initially notice the lack of inclusion. Her perspective changed when she realized she wasn’t included in her own line. “[T]he minute I realized I wasn’t included in my own passion and my love for my business, it made me realize well who else I’m not including, like, what other people are not even able to enjoy the things that I feel really passionate about. And it wasn’t really out of, for me, not loving other people’s bodies. Because I just love people’s bodies. I love talking about selflove and body positivity … But it was not reflected in my line. That was a really big thing for me, and I’m continuing to work with that,” said Russell. Social media—Instagram in particular—can have a negative impact on how people perceive their appearance. The app motivates users to focus on gaining likes and followers, and much of that is rooted in appearance and showcasing the “perfect body”. It’s important to remember that there’s no such thing as a perfect body, and even those who are considered perfect can

still have difficulty accepting themselves. With Love aims to repair the relationship we have with our bodies, encouraging us to feel comfortable in our skin. Russell emphasizes the sense of empowerment that comes with lingerie, and the impact it can have on the journey towards body acceptance. “[T]hings need to be made for people with love and to actually do that, you have to include and, and really embrace all different sorts of body types and also embrace and make people comfortable wherever they are in the journey of their body self image or their body positivity . . . I really do think it’s really exciting when I’m able to have someone try something on that they would never have really thought about wearing,” she said. The majority of Russell’s designs are not very structured, meaning that most don’t have any underwires or corsetry, and she works predominantly in sheer mesh material. The lingerie is designed to move with the natural shape of the body, rather than seeking to restrict the person wearing it. With the ever-increasing popularity of waist cinchers, corsets and Spanx, it can be difficult to celebrate your body without feeling like it should be restrained. The sheer mesh designs aim to uncover and empower the body, emphasizing what’s already there. “It’s almost better to highlight the things that you see as the assets to let them outshine the things that you may still not be totally in love with yet. And that’s exciting when that light bulb goes off in someone’s mind,” said Russell. While many people assume that lingerie is exclusively for younger women, Russell says that most of her clientele is actually more mature women, with an age range averaging between 30 and 60. “I’m getting women in their 60s wearing sheer bodysuits and just living in them, which is great. And I think that truly is body positivity,” said Russell. With Love also caters to demographics beyond older-aged women. Russell says that she recently started working with trans women, gender-fluid and nonbinary folks. She sees a lot

of potential for With Love to help people become more comfortable expressing themselves and exploring their gender. “[I]t’s been really rewarding working with people who felt really timid about expressing who they are. And they feel comfortable coming to me and coming to my showroom, having one on ones with me, and I’m able to see their journey [with] discovering themselves and expressing themselves as well with their creativity and accepting sort of what they see and adorning it with With Love. And I think that’s a really big honor and it’s something that has been . . . a really rewarding learning curve for me,” said Russell. While much of the response that Russell has received has been positive, there is still a lot of stigma surrounding lingerie and creating lingerie. In Russell’s experience, particularly in North America, lingerie is kept a secret because it is viewed as something inherently sexual or inappropriate. She says that people are very shy, and “Puritan” about it. With Love Lingerie strives to change that stereotype. While lingerie can be sexual, it can also be an empowering form of self-expression. Russell has also recently launched her second brand, Spill the Tea Consulting, providing social media support and help for other small businesses trying to reach clients. In doing so, she hopes to help grow the community of local artists in Hamilton, and to help them reach their audience and thrive. Ultimately, Russell hopes that With Love Lingerie can foster a sense of empowerment in the people that wear her designs, allowing them to be at home and comfortable in their own bodies. She hopes that everyone can experience the same joy she feels when making lingerie, and that they can see that everything she does is made, of course, with love.

Photographs of materials Carrie Russell works with. @TheSilhouette

JADEN LALL / VIDEO EDITOR

www.thesil.ca | Thursday, Feb. 13, 2020

The Silhouette

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Embodied Empowerment How boudoir photography can foster self-love and body-acceptance

Boudoir photography space at Millworks Creative District C /O BECCA SERENA

Lauren O’Donnell A&C Reporter

Traditional boudoir photography feeds a culture of consumption, generally associated with pin-up models and Playboy spreads, designed for a mostly male audience. For photographer Becca Serena and stylist Taylor Rasmussen, boudoir photography is an intimate and empowering experience that can be an avenue for individual self-exploration and body acceptance. “We saw a lot of young women and femme identifying folks really having an interest in repairing their relationships with their bodies through body positive photography. And during my studies, I saw that people having control over their own image and representation was a big part of what gives people the confidence they need in their everyday life to go after their goals and their dreams, and to also heal from some pretty tough trauma,” said Serena. In some cases, boudoir photography is used to heal different kinds of trauma. It helps to change the way that the individual views their own body, opening up avenues to self-love that may have been closed off or destroyed. It is a deeply person-

al and vulnerable experience that serves as a step on the road to recovery for those who, for whatever reason, have a rocky relationship with their body.

In some cases, boudoir photography is used to heal different kinds of trauma. It helps to change the way that the individual views their own body, opening up avenues to self-love that may have been closed off or destroyed. Industry standards for boudoir photography blur the lines between personal and professional, meaning that it can be uncomfortable for some individuals to explore their identity in a safe environment. More often than not, young models will shoot at a photographer’s home and in their bed, or the photographer will need to travel to a client’s home, which can be unsafe for the photographer. A neutral workspace at

Millworks Creative District has allowed Serena and Rasmussen to ensure that everyone involved in the shoot feels comfortable and safe. Before each session even begins, Serena and Rasmussen privately consult each of their clients to make sure that everyone is on the same page. Something that sets this duo apart is their commitment to openness, sharing their own experiences and vulnerabilities. This helps to foster a sense of trust with clients, allowing them to be more confident and at ease during the session. “[W]e both really like to talk to people about what their intentions are with the photoshoot and the photos and what would make them feel best . . . What kind of styles are they more comfortable wearing? Are they more into modest clothing? Is there anything special that she has to think about, for example, like somebody has an insulin pump, or somebody walks with a cane,” said Serena. By focusing on what the client wants to get out of the session, Serena and Rasmussen put the power in their hands. They are fully in control of their own image and representation. Boudoir photography provides them with the opportunity to be their authentic selves, allowing them to be the person that they

want to be, rather than the one society expects them to be. “[W]hen a person comes to the shoot we’ll have a curated wardrobe for them, like I have racks all set up with various local designers, and then it’s a process working with them [and finding] what they’re comfortable with and what they hope to see for themselves at the end of the photoshoot,” said Rasmussen. One of the local brands they work with is With Love Lingerie. You can learn more about them on page 20. Rasmussen and Serena also make sure to check in with their clients throughout the shoot to make sure that they are still comfortable, both physically and emotionally. Boudoir photography has the potential to help clients heal from trauma, but in doing so they can be very vulnerable. By checking in and working with their clients, Rasmussen and Serena are able to create a safe environment for self-expression and growth. Going forward, Serena and Rasmussen are looking to challenge the idea that boudoir photography and positive self-image are only for younger people. During their collaboration on POP! Tart—a magazine examining eating culture and people’s relationships to food and their bodies — they noticed that people 30 and over were

not as open to having those conversations. “I think right now our main goal is really getting this conversation going and encouraging people who haven’t given themselves permission to really think about or love their bodies or themselves,” said Serena. In order to start this conversation about self-love, this past month Serena and Rasmussen offered a few smaller, more affordable sessions in time for Valentine’s Day, challenging the idea that Valentine’s Day is just for external relationships. “We’re trying to take this Valentine’s Day [idea of] focusing on your relationship with others, and we’re trying to really flip that inward and look at radical self love and self acceptance instead through these sessions,” said Serena. Serena and Rasmussen are changing the way that we perceive our bodies, one photograph at a time. Through their work, they are destigmatizing both body acceptance and sexuality and changing the public perception of boudoir photography from something that objectifies people’s bodies, to something that frees them. @TheSilhouette

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www.thesil.ca | Thursday, Feb. 13, 2020

Artist: Claire Kim @ck_digital_arts

Artwork #1: I Am Beauty Medium: Ink Illustration and Digital Art Description: This artwork illustrates the beauty of sexuality and the immersive experience behind self-empowerment. A mixture of space, nature, and modern identity, the self represents the beauty of openness and freedom to express oneself. It also represents the complexity and ambiguity behind a person’s desire to find meaning in a world that demands homogeneity.

I Am Beauty

Artwork #2: Pluto’s Heartbreak Medium: Ink Illustration and Digital Art Description: This artwork illustrates heartbreak within broken relationships in a postmodernist society. Living in a technological and ever-changing era has rewired the way humans process relationships. Little details such as the melting snow, rewind and fastforward button on the television heads describe the different stages of ‘time’ and overall healing process people experience.

Untitled 1

Pluto’s Heartbreak

Artist: Kyle West @k.west.art

Title: Untitled 1 & 2 Medium: Painting

Untitled 2

Description: In my work “Untitled 1 & 2” I looked to explore representation and identity. These two works happen to be representative of two strong women from my life. Because of this I decided to paint both figures with strong and decisive postures, looking into the viewer and contesting the gaze cast upon them. Another way in which I wanted to challenge the use of representation within painting is my use of a tricolor system of black, white and red. By removing any sense of skin color or in turn reality of identity I was looking to challenge how representation within art history was commonly used in the renaissance and baroque period. By not providing any visual cues to background of the subjects in any way, the vagueness and multiplicity of identity becomes more clear. The inclusion of many expressive formal elements, such as uses of the brush and colour is meant to represent emotion throughout the fragility that is the human experience and inner strength. Overall, I was more interested in creating portraits of strength and challenge the representational nature of identity throughout the classical art history canon.

www.thesil.ca | Thursday, Feb. 13, 2020

Artist: Katie van Kampen @kvk_thethird Artist: Katie van Kampen Title: Lights Get Bright Tonight Medium: Photography Description: One day, my friends and I wandered into the Penticton Art Gallery to the main exhibit to be struck with a neon light of reds, purples, blues and pinks. I pulled out my camera to take some shots, gesturing wilding at my friends to pose near the light, trying to capture what I saw at that moment. All my three friends are some form of LGBT with two of them identifying as bisexual women. I raised my camera to take the photos and when I looked down at the 3 inch LCD screen I saw something I thought was beautiful. The light hit their faces perfectly, the colours that make up the bisexual pride flag smearing across their faces and fading into the shadows of the room.

The Silhouette

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www.thesil.ca | Thursday, Feb. 13, 2020

Loud and proud

Dealing with my own truths and identities A.A. Contributor

I was on a study date with a couple of my close friends at a Starbucks we used to go to almost every single day. A couple guys we had met there came and sat with us to study. Skim forward a little bit, my friend, who knew I was gay, made a joke and exposed my sexuality to one of the guys. All of a sudden, everything changed in the way he spoke, as if he was trying to alienate me. I froze. I advocate for being proud of who you are and I do embrace my sexuality, but in that moment — I hated everything about it. He insisted that he could “fix” me if he spent 24 hours with me. He even told my friend, who was a girl, to have sex with me. I tried a couple times explaining that being gay is not something he would ever be able to understand, it is something he needs to accept. But my words were quickly dismissed. I had no words, I did not know whether I should say anything at all. I was catching glares from a boy sitting across from us at the large table we were sitting at. It felt like a beaming hot spotlight was

ANDREW MROZOWSKI/A&C EDITOR

shining over me; like everyone was looking at me with pity, disappointment or disgust. I felt a rush of tears come to my throat, that feeling where you are about to cry and if you say any word at all you will. After so many years of owning my sexuality, I felt isolated, alone and the odd one out all over again. I was taken back to being 12 years old, when my parents told me that I could be sent somewhere to be fixed. I needed to leave, so I walked out and called an Uber. While waiting for my Uber I could not stop myself from breaking down. Am I really proud of who I am? Or just around people that accept me? I cannot stop thinking about how he won. I was not able to stand up for myself. I was not able to show him that I am me no matter what he thinks is right and wrong. Insidead, I felt so small and alienated. I am usually loud; I say what I want, when I want. I stand up for everyone’s story, but that day, I learned that I cannot stand up for my own. My own truth and who I am is fragile right now. I know they say—even I say—that being gay is just a part of me, but when

that is the biggest struggle in your life, it becomes you. I am gay. Why does it have to be so hard? I think I have established for myself that life is not fair, but this has not been an easy lesson for me to learn—in fact, it has been the hardest. I am a 18-year-old Middle Eastern man, born and raised in a outspokenly homophobic household where religious ideals formed the foundation of my family member’s lives. But I am also gay, and discovering my own identity in such an environment was not fair. It is not fair to grow up in an environment that shames parts of who you are before you even recognize those parts of you. It is not fair to only be able to be true to who you are around three of your friends. It is not fair to feel like your family is not going to be there forever. It is not fair to feel as though your family’s love is conditional over something you cannot control—who you are. There is no explanation. I have no explanation for being gay so how do I explain it to someone that does not understand? Should I even try? Should I let them be ignorant?

Why is it easy to stand up for someone else, but so much harder to stand up for myself? I feel like I’m proud of myself and my accomplishments but am I really proud of me—am I really proud of being gay? I want to learn to be loud and proud but that comes with a price. Not everyone will be supportive, not everyone will accept me as I am. I have to learn to be who I am regardless of how many times I’m discriminated against for something that is nobody’s business but my own. Before I can be loud and proud, I have to pay the emotional price of working to turn every doubt and harsh thing someone says into a reason why I will not back down from who I am. I am who I am and that should be okay. This will be the next thing I learn.

@TheSilhouette

The Silhouette

www.thesil.ca | Thursday, Feb. 13, 2020

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Queer Eye for Fashion

How my fashion has informed my identity Anonymous Contributor

The idea of femininity is one that, for a long time, upset me. I remember distinctly hating to wear the dresses my family bought me. I didn’t want to be exposed. I didn’t want to perpetuate the notion of what a woman should be within society. I didn’t want to feel objectified by men, I didn’t want to be regarded as “weak”, “fragile” or “sensitive”. However, that didn’t mean I didn’t want to be noticed by men. I was “straight”, so I assumed that, as a woman, I wanted attention from men. There have been countless times when I’ve been told by my family: “Dress nicely so that boys will notice you.” Sometimes I would cave, and I would receive the standard compliments that one would receive from a heterosexual male: “You look hot/ nice/ pretty/ beautiful.” Other times, I’d find my strength in going against the world’s expectations, and put on a suit instead. I did not receive any typical compliments, but

seeing men gaze at me in half jealousy and half admiration was good enough. Afterall, I looked hot and powerful. Boys, I wanted you to notice me—but I also wanted to be noticed for who I am, not for conforming to societal expectations of what a woman should wear. In grade 10, I started to wear snapbacks. In grade 11, I started to wear muscle shirts. In grade 12, I started wearing suits and called myself heteroflexible. In my first year of university, I began to wear men’s t-shirts and men’s joggers. In second year, I made it a habit to check out the women’s section and the men’s section in clothing stores. I went from calling myself heteroflexible throughout my high school years, to declaring myself as bisexual in university. Fashion, sexuality and gender expression have always been a messy knot in my brain. I frequently dress like someone who, if you took one look at me, you’d know I am not straight. Maybe you could even infer that I’m bi.

Clothes hanging on a clothesline. CINDY CUI / PHOTO EDITOR

You’re told not to judge a book by its cover. But what if I want you to? Symbolic interactionism describes how our world is made of symbols which convey meaning to the people we interact with. Fashion is the pinnacle of my interaction with the world. Every day, what I choose to wear is a reflection of who I am. Sometimes, I want to go undetected—that’s a day for dark jeans, t-shirts and a sweater. Other times, I want to be noticed—that means wearing a suit or a dress. Other times, I feel incredibly gay and just throw on a Henley, typically a shirt for men, and men’s joggers. Our world has always had an invisible hand in how I present myself. I am well attuned to how I dress and how that will draw different kinds of stares and gazes; however, as someone who is interested in both men and women, this has become a habit of practiced expression.

I used to feel almost guilty about how I dressed, I never felt feminine enough for those around me. As I grew more comfortable with my sexuality, I realized that I didn’t need to dress to attract men to me. How I dress on a daily basis, with a style between androgynous and masculine, is both more comfortable for me, and the ladies like it. I remember dressing to go to a party one night and turning to my friends saying, “I’m going to wear a crop top, because that way people know I’m a little bit of a slut. But I’m going to wear flannel shirt over that because I still want people to know I’m hella gay.” Dressing myself is a calculated strategy. I choose my clothing carefully to convey hidden messages. Yet, sometimes I question how whether or not my acceptance of these messages contributes to perpetuating stereotypes around gender and sexuality. Stereo-

types can be harmful. Actively assuming details about a person can feel intrusive, belittling and insulting. Yet, I purposely use stereotypes associated with sexuality to communicate with the world. I’ve cut my hair shorter, I wear flannel, I cuff my jeans and I keep my nails short. These are all stereotypically associated with being “bisexual” or “gay”. Stereotypes become harmful when you actively use them to make harmful assumptions. Not every flamboyant man is gay, and you have no right to tell him he is. Not every girl with short hair is a lesbian, you don’t need to tell your friends she is. Don’t judge a book by its cover, at least, not actively. Yet, when I wear a French tucked t-shirt with a leather jacket with my cuffed ripped black jeans, I am trying to tell the world I am not straight. It’s me telling the world that typical compliments about my general appearance won’t woo me. Maybe compliment my graphic t-shirt with the teenage mutant ninja turtles on it, then I’ll entertain a discussion with you. @TheSilhouette

and Proud Dealing with my own truths and identities A.A. Contributor I was on a study date with a couple of my close friends at a Starbucks we used to go to almost every single day. A couple

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www.thesil.ca | Thursday, Feb. 13, 2020

A day in the life of hook-up culture Live. Laugh. Kiss (a little). Repeat. Nina Joon Contributor

doesn’t shave. Despite knowing you’re beautiful and loving your body, you can’t help but recognize this is not a cultural norm and worry how red-shoes will react. As expected, they don’t even notice and the night seamlessly continues on to become an X-rated episode of Degrassi. After hardly two hours of sleep and being awoken by redshoes’s deaf cat jumping on your chest at 7 a.m., you decide it’s time to go home. Your cutie is slow to wake up, rolling around looking all hot as they enjoy the luxury of being a deep sleeper. They drive you home in their Prius, dropping you off in a Mac’s Convenience Store parking lot. While washing off last night’s face, you remember you left a recently thrifted sweater at cutie’s. You send a text asking for it back and never hear from them again. In your hungover state, you struggle to submit a weekly discussion post on Avenue while smiling about last night’s events. Maybe you’ll see redshoes again, maybe you won’t. Your sweater might

“Your pl ac e

or m

in e

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be lost forever, but the smell of that nicely renovated kitchen will live on in your memory. You close your blinds and nap until 4:30 p.m., excited to do it all over again.

@TheSilhouette

"I like

Why yes, the rumours are true. I, Nina Joon, completed (finishing with a 12) my second one-night stand and I am here to shout it loud and proud. After years spent huddling under a blanket of sexual apathy, agonizing over the inevitable awkward intimacy during sex, I have finally reached a state of no-fucks-given. As a product of both millennial and generation Z culture, I am no stranger to the supposed perils and triumphs of hook-up culture. Now, after two engagements in the action, I think it’s safe to pronounce myself as a voice of the people, offering advice and insight into this tumultuous sexy time in our young, hot 20-something year old lives. This, my friends, is an ode to the sweaty club grind-ups and confusing “booty-Facebook-message-hookups” that you’re still trying to dissect literally months after they happened. The classic tale of a onenight stand often begins in the club, in the middle of the month, during techno night. You’re on the dance floor, body glitter sparkling from the disco ball reflection. While looking down to admire your amazing shuffling skills, you spot a pair of humbling red converse high tops with laces caked in mud. Is this a skater? Is this a longboarder? Questions cloud your mind, so you look up to see whose face belongs to these shoes. Not to your surprise, it’s an absolute cutie sipping a rare brew of Collective Arts, dancing slowly to the tempo of the music. You nudge your friend (hereby referred to as Derby) and point to this mysterious gem nestled on the dance floor. Derby’s eyes light up in excitement. “Aye! Good shout mate!”, they claim, confirming your feelings of attraction to “redshoes”. You run with that bout of validation, slyly dancing your way into red-shoes’s line of vision. The music’s pumping, your earplugs are the perfect amount of hidden; this is your moment.

“Hey, I heard it’s your birthday! Happy birthday!” you shout to cutie’s face. To be clear, it is not their birthday, nor is there any available information that would lead to that conclusion. You just hope that the mere randomness of your comment will spark intrigue in red-shoes. “Huh?” they respond back. “Oh my god, sorry, haha, you look just like my friend whose birthday it is today . . . my bad!” Red-shoes uncomfortably laughs but you feel their gaze as you dance back to Derby and continue to shuffle for a halfhour straight. It’s getting late now and you’re wondering where this cutie has gone. Derby is on their third hook-up of the night, copping two numbers and one Instagram handle. While sipping a glass of communal water, someone taps on your shoulder. You turn to see red-shoes staring into your soul with their glassy beaming eyes. “Hey, you’re a really good dancer”, they say. Stunned, you quickly make a fart noise and say “Lawl, no way! Thanks! I like your um, shoes, tee-hee”. Together you start to talk, eventually moving to a booth and then locking lips in a dark corner. After back and forth flirty banter, during which you offered red-shoes a cherry Halls and they declined, the question comes up. “Your place or mine?”. You’re living at your parent’s house, so that’s not even an option. To your surprise, red-shoes calls a Lyft, signifying their uniqueness, to which you self-congratulate yourself for knowing how to pick ‘em. During the car ride home, you keep your distance from redshoes as a sign of respect to the driver, feeling shy because you harbour culturally-internalized shame towards sex. It’s all good though, you’re learning to overcome it! Red-shoes leads you into their low-ceiling basement bedroom that smells like weed and 5 gum. As the making out escalates, you progressively get more excited. Then you remember you’re a #feminist who

u m , s hoe

." . . s

ELISABETTA PAIANO/PRODUCTION EDITOR

www.thesil.ca | Thursday, Feb. 13, 2020

The Silhouette

| 27

Sports A chokehold on the podium McMaster’s men’s wrestling team came second overall at the OUA Wrestling championships with a total of eight medals across the board

Zahra after he captured gold against Ty Bridgewater of the Brock Badgers C/O LIGAYA STINELLIS

Kyle West Sports Reporter

McMasters men’s and women’s wrestling teams went to the Ontario University Athletics Wrestling Championships to compete in Guelph on Feb. 1 and 2. The tournament consisted of ten of the top wrestling programs across Ontario, the Algoma University Thunderbirds, Brock University Badgers, the University of Guelph Gryphons, the Lakehead University Timberwolves, the Queen’s University Gaels, the Ryerson University Rams, the University of Toronto Varsity Blues, the Western University Mustangs, the York University Lions and your own Marauders. With medals on the line, Mcmaster stepped up to the occasion and armlocked the competition, coming home with a respectable haul of hardware. Even though the championship has been historically dominated by Brock University, the Marauders medaled in eight individual weight categories. The men’s team finished with a total of 66 points, earning them second overall in the tourna-

ment. Points are scored by pulling off maneuvers that all have a different weight in the point system. The maroon and grey totalled four bronze, two silvers and two gold medals. For the past five years, Brock University has held the OUA Wrestling Championships banners for best overall performance in men’s and women’s wrestling. This year alone they received ten of the 19 gold medals up for grabs, but with nine left on the table they allowed McMaster to get a few of their own. Ben Zahra, in the 76 kg weight class, and Ameen Aghamirian, in the 82 kg weight class, were the Marauders draped in gold on Sunday. Zhara’s dominant performance led to him being declared the OUA Male Athlete of the Week on Feb. 3. Previously, Zahra had earned silver for three consecutive years at the tournament, but was never able to break the top of the podium.This year, however, he finally cracked the code and took home gold. “Placing second for the past three years at OUAs really fu-

elled me throughout this season. When I was able to come out on top at OUAs this past weekend it really gave me confidence in my training,” said Zahra.

“Placing second for the past three years at OUAs really fuelled me throughout this season,” Ben Zahra OUAs outstanding men’s wrestler of the year He won three tech falls, outscoring the opponent, in the pool rounds to start the day as he took down Queen’s, Toronto’s, and Algoma’s performers in the 76 kg weight class. Having performed in the OUA regular season with such dominance, he earned a shot at the title match against the previously undefeated in the OUA regular season Ty Bridgwater of the Brock Badgers dominant wrestling team. The match was a close one as Zahra narrowly

won by a margin of eight to five in his favour. On top of this performance, he was honoured with the title of the OUA’s Outstanding Male Wrestler of the year. Zahra’s unbeaten day and breakthrough performance was a terrific way to end his fourth year in the OUA with the Marauders squad, before potentially heading to Canadian Junior/ Senior Championships. While Zahra delivered one of the more impressive performances, let’s not forget about the other medalists in the men’s category. Francesco Fortino was the bronze winner in the 57 kg weight class. Trystan Kato also took home a bronze medal in the 72 kg weight class. The silver winners were Connor Quinton in the 68 kg weight class and Bradley MaGarrey in the 90 kg weight class. Two of the women’s team contenders who earned a bronze medal are Simi Jayeoba within the 63 kg weight class and Joelle Vanderslagt in the 67 kg weight class. It is important to recognize that the women’s team is outnumbered 20 to five by the men’s team, making their

two medal mark impressive. The women’s team ended up with 40 per cent of participants placing with medals and the men’s team finished with 30 per cent of their participants placing with medals. With almost half of the women’s team and just under a third of the men’s team placing on the podium, it is clear that the program has a good shot to continue their success at nationals on Feb. 20-22. Zahra said, “going into the U Sports Championships I am looking forward to just competing and really leaving it all out there on the mat no matter the result. I’m also looking forward to watching all my teammates compete and show their skills on the national level.”

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www.thesil.ca | Thursday, Feb. 13, 2020

SPORTS

Sliding Down and Shaping Up

Allure Fitness gives locals a non-traditional workout Kyle West Sports Reporter

With the recent wave of influencers and viral fitness personalities, the world is slowly being taken over by fitness communities. With the gym-going population growing, those looking for alternatives to traditional workouts are always keeping their eyes peeled. From shake weights as seen on TV to Crossfit expanding through worldwide competitions, fitness crazes are coming and going, with some being more permanent than others. While plyometrics, calisthenics and other bodyweight exercises are not new in any way, one of the quickly growing ways to workout is through pole fitness, an acrobatic full body workout. Allure Fitness Inc. opened in 2009 with the mission of creating a safe space purely for women to exercise freely at any fitness level. Specifically, their pole studio offers a challenge that is unavailable in community gyms or classes. “Being a woman is challenging, because there are so many conflicting expectations put on us . . . This is a space for the exact opposite of that. We want women to do what feels best for them, and to walk out of our studio with their heads held high and feeling better than when they walked in,” said Michelle Kriede-

mann, owner of Allure Fitness Inc. Kriedemann focused on ensuring that her studio served as a safe space that was focused on health and uplifting clientele. Part of Allure’s appeal is its focus on inclusivity — taking extra effort to make sure no matter what your current life situation is, you feel like you belong. “Allure is a space that welcomes women of all shapes, sizes, ages and fitness levels and a mission of taking the work out of your workout. We have friendly staff and instructors and small sized classes so we can provide you with personal attention and ensure that you are getting the most out of your exercises,” said Kriedemann. Pole dancing is a great alternative from traditional workouts and the payoff is a very rewarding form of exercise. The activity utilizes every muscle in your body, allowing you to control your movement and challenge your coordination and flexibility. The ability to use body weight and acrobatics provides a full body workout since you are mostly using muscle groups that you would have to individually focus on at a conventional gym. Although this alternative style of exercise has many pros, the stigma surrounding pole fitness leads many people to unfairly link the activity to stripping and erotic dancing.

Kriedemann hopes that this does not deter people from enrolling in classes. Once people get involved, the barriers around pole dancing often break down.

“The simplest thing that I can say about it is that the negative connotation and stigma that surrounds all things pole comes from fear and a lack of knowledge,” said Kriedemann. Allure Fitness has expanded and evolved into a well rounded fitness studio in Hamilton. Part of Allure’s rise in popularity is due to the variety of different classes they offer, which are not confined to pole-focused fitness. For example, they offer seven levels of “Aerial Hoop”, where each class includes a full body workout and a chance to work on hoop skills. They also offer various classes that target specific muscle groups, such as “Extreme Abs”, for those who want to pursue classes similar to what they may see at gyms, but in a safe and women’s only space. . “Pole is a big part of Allure, it is about 30 percent of what we offer. As I mentioned, we specialize in all of the fun kinds of fitness we can get our hands on at Allure because if you’re enjoying your workouts, you’re going to be inspired to stay on track,” Kriedemann mentioned. Allure is extremely beginner friendly. Drop-in classes are

a great and low commitment way to get started on- work around a flexible schedule. Some of Allure’s highlighted drop-in classes are TNT Ballet & Pilates, Twerk Out, Circus Tease and Glow Yoga. Once you find what speaks to you, you can sign up for their six week commitment courses. Prices range anywhere $20 to $399 depending on the type of classes you take and the length of the program; however, students receive a 10 percent discount with a valid student ID. One of the common issues with commercial gyms can be the overwhelming environment, from seeing multiple unfamiliar contraptions to the intimidation that comes with large group classes. Smaller studios like Allure Fitness Inc., help to eliminate these difficulties and allow for more one-on-one time with instructors. What do you need to bring for the classes? Comfortable workout clothing, a bottle of water to keep you hydrated and a yoga mat — if you don’t have one, you can rent it from the

studio for $2. If you are taking the zumba classes, it’s recommended that you wear clean indoor running shoes; as well as kneepads for twerk out and poleflow. If you’re taking their aerial and suspension classes, leggings or long pants are recommended for comfort. Allure Fitness Inc., hasn’t lost momentum since it opened 11 years ago, and doesn’t look like it will stop anytime soon. With the wide variety of alternative workout classes catered specifically for women, Allure can provide the alternative for those who hate to go to that big public gym down the street, or for those who are looking to switch up how they work out.

@TheSilhouette

www.thesil.ca | Thursday, Feb. 13, 2020

The Silhouette

| 29

Inside atmosphere of Allure Fitness Inc. CINDY CUI / PHOTO EDITOR

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GAMES

www.thesil.ca | Thursday, Feb. 13, 2020

ACROSS 1- Ford flop; 6- “Tattered Tom” author; 11Mil. address; 14- Racket; 15- Farm layers; 16- Caesar of comedy; 17- Concise; 18- Gives a 9.8, say; 19- How was ___ know?; 20- Read ‘em and ___!; 22- English royal house; 24- Movie scenes; 28- Selected;

DOWN 1- Med. specialty; 2- Her partner would be a buck; 3- Round Table title; 4- Lion tail?; 5- Away from the wind; 6- Go along (with); 7- Jump; 8- Acquire; 9- Nationality suffix; 10- Bring back; 11- Footnote; 12- Metal spike used by mountaineers; 13- Smell or fragrance; 21- Narcissist’s problem;

30- Conductor Toscanini; 31- Apportion; 32- Schlepped; 33- See-sawing; 37- Hydrocarbon suffix; 38- Recipient; 39- ___ anglais (English horn); 40- Chief municipal officer; 43- Milan’s La ___; 45- Western; 46- Fiddle; 47- Joined by treaty; 49- Colonized; 23- Consumer; 24- Deadly; 25- Home of the Black Bears; 26- Brown-furred aquatic carnivorous mammal; 27- Datebook abbr.; 28- Gaiety; 29- Detest; 31- Spanish Mister; 33- Fiddled; 34- Poker declaration; 35- I swear!; 36- Stately; 38- Go out with; 41- Barbie, e.g.; 42- Postal carrier’s tote; 43- Place;

50- Whatsoever; 51- Famous last words; 52- Second-century date; 53- Number game of chance; 56- Saw; 61- Pitch; 62- Ancient Indo- European; 63- Hard drinker; 64- Pompous fool; 65- Garish; 66- Viscounts’ superiors

44- Barracks bed; 46- Fido’s appointment; 47- Collection of maps, Titan of Greek mythology; 48- Retreats; 49- Rocklike; 50- Official records; 51- Mild oath; 54- One of the Gershwins; 55- Big Apple sch.; 57- 1950 film noir classic; 58- Spring mo.; 59- Hair goo; 60- Trauma ctrs.

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DATRICK PEANE, WILL YOU BE MY VALENTINE? A6

THURSDAY

THE

HAMILTON SPECULATOR KEEPING IT RISQUÉ SINCE 1934

Februar y 13, 2020

NOTSPEC.COM

Valentines for a special someone Give them one of these since you didn’t buy them a gift

Is that an iClicker in To: your pocket or are you just happy to see me? From:

Roses are red, Chedoke Creek is brown, Ask me out to Chatime, And I won’t shut you down To:

From:

To: I’ll pick cockroaches out of your food any day of the week To:

From:

You make me wetter than the MUSC basement Disclaimer: The Hamilton Speculator is a work of satire and fiction and should not under any circumstances be taken seriously. xoxo - the Sil

From:

You’re puuuurfect

Are you my midterms? Because you came way too early and I’m a bit concerned To:

From:

PER ISSUE: a card and chocolates