The Plaid Horse April 2019 - Rider Wellness Issue by The Plaid Horse

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Introduces Unbelievable

Rider Name & Horse Name Award, Class, Event, 2019

quality sales ponies and horses always welcome on consignment. proudly sponsored by

Stefanie Mazer • (561)346-4228 Forget Me Not Farm, Wellington, Florida photo © Sportfot.

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Best of Luck in 2019

Rider Name & Horse Name Award, Class, Event, 2019

specializing in young riders pursuing serious goals always a great selection of ponies and horses to lease or purchase proudly sponsored by

Stefanie Mazer • (561)346-4228 Forget Me Not Farm, Wellington, Florida

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theplaidhorse.com/listen

WHEREVER YOU LISTEN TO PODCASTS iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, Spotify

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theplaidhorse.com/network

WATCH TODAY Apple TV, Roku, The Plaid Horse Network App for iOS & Android.

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THE WELLNESS ISSUE P. 20 EDITOR’S NOTE Lauren Mauldin P. 24 YOUNG TRAINER SPOTLIGHT: JENNIFER BLISS Sissy Wickes P. 28 HERD OF ZEBRAS Sissy Wickes P. 32 RIVERCROSS FARM: A MODERN BREEDING PROGRAM Sissy Wickes P. 36 EQUESTRIAN WELLNESS Valerie Breslow P. 40 VERMONT SUMMER FESTIVAL Lindsay Brock P. 44 MIND BODY HORSE: ALIGNMENT THROUGH YOGA Jess Clawson, Ph.D. P. 50 THE LIABILITY OF CATCH RIDING Lisa Lazarus, Esq. P. 56 BIG LOVE LESSONS Carolyn Getches, Honorable Mention Winner of The Constance Wickes Prize in Creative Non-fiction 2018 P. 64 COVER STORY: DIANE CARNEY Brenda Mueller P. 70 ANDREW ELLIS ON ADDICTION Lauren Mauldin P. 76 HANDLING BARN DRAMA Jess Clawson, Ph.D. P. 82 HORSES CAN’T BE OUR ONLY THERAPY Lauren Mauldin P. 88 HOMECOMING Shannon Fox, Honorable Mention Winner of The Plaid Horse Prize in Fiction 2018 ON THE COVER: DIANE CARNEY – JUDGE, TRAINER, GOVERNANCE ACTIVIST. PHOTO © MARKETING4EQUESTRIANS.

PHOTO © HEATHER N. PHOTOGRAPHY.

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HHA

Laboratory Test Consultation with Veterinarian Corrective Customized Supplement

® 285 -

99 -

109 -

239 -

3.049 -

28 -

70 -

265 -

92 -

101 -

222 -

2.646 -

26 -

65 -

85 -

93 -

205 -

2.642 -

78 -

85 -

188 -

2.439 -

71 -

77 -

171 -

2.236 -

64 -

69 -

154 -

2.033 -

245 -

205 -

185 -

165 57 -

61 -

137 -

50 -

53 -

120 -

1.626 -

44 -

43 -

96 -

1.388 -

39 -

34 -

71 -

1.151 -

35 -

34 12 33 11 -

33 -

40 -

13 -

108 -

24 -

45 -

14 -

120 -

48 -

50 -

18 -

1.829 -

133 -

71 -

55 -

20 -

16 -

145 -

95 -

60 -

24 -

47 -

0.913 -

27 -

14 -

20 -

11 -

17 -

0.506 -

14 -

11 -

0.338 -

22 -

0.675 -

0.169 -

31 10 -

30 -

23 -

15 -

RESULTS: Normal Range:

34.2

150

1.624

Horse Hair Analysis® provides an extremely accurate profile of a horse’s biochemistry. The most experienced laboratory in the country is used to process the hair samples. The results are then compiled into a 15 page report complete with graphs and easy to read text for each mineral and metal. Mark DePaolo, DVM will review each deficiency and toxicity present during a phone consultation. He will explain how your horse's diet affected the results and how to improve your feed program moving forward. This is a great opportunity to learn how Dr. DePaolo's common-sense approach to nutrition can have a positive impact on your horse's health and performance!

ER 5,000 OV

10+ YEARS RS

ES TEST

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EDITOR’S NOTE...

LAUREN AND HER WELLNESS CHEERLEADER, PASCALE.

The Imperfect Pursuit of Wellness Wellness is a funny word. The dictionary defines it as “the state of being in good health, especially as an actively pursued goal.” I guess that makes sense, but it seems more complicated than its basic description. As an equestrian, I’ve always had a pretty good handle on what wellness means for my horse. The responsibilities we have as horse owners is a checklist I’ve memorized. Yearly visit from the equine dentist? Wellness. Ample amounts of forage, high quality grain and hand-picked supplements? Wellness. A flexible schedule of training and turnout based on my horse’s performance needs and happiness? Wellness. With the support of good professionals and years of experience, my horse’s wellness has become a well-rehearsed routine. I wish I could say the same about my own. For me, overall wellness is a harder target to find. This was especially clear after I unexpectedly lost my heart horse in late December during colic surgery. For years, I had poured so much time,

care and love into his health. Struggling through waves of grief without him, I realized that I had a much harder time determining what wellness meant for me. I think it should mean diet and fitness, right? That sounds like “the state of being in good health.” But most days, I do well to take my dog for a long walk or squeeze in a short flat lesson at the barn. Those are the good days. The bad ones are in bed, feeling sorry for myself and struggling to keep going in a world without some of the ones I love the most. My wellness has no cross-country runs or weight sets. And diet? Well, I certainly have done better. Last year I dramatically changed my food choices, and the weight fell off. For the first time in my life, I felt like I might be getting close to that blurry, mythical ideal of what my body should be. Yet carbs are delicious, especially when you’re sad. I have had to learn to forgive myself for eating lemon poppyseed muffins. I have had to learn that, on my bad days, wellness means eating cheese fries with a friend and allowing myself to be human. The equestrian community is tough. We are known for putting our horse’s needs before our own. Scroll long enough on social media, and you’ll see jokes about our horses getting shoes every six weeks while ours have holes through the sole. Our horses are sparkling, perfectly groomed as we stand next to them covered in dirt. I like those memes. I relate to them, but I also can’t hush the little voice in my head that tells me this kind of disparity shouldn’t exist. That it’s time for us to find what wellness means for more than our horses. ◼ BY TPH BLOG EDITOR LAUREN MAULDIN; PHOTO BY GREYBOY PET PHOTOGRAPHY

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Although 34 years old, Jennifer Bliss seems to have been around the horse show world forever. She was one of the most successful pony riders of her generation and consistently at the top of the jog in the most competitive rings on the East Coast. Catch riding and bringing along her own green ponies, she garnered Championships at USEF Pony Finals twice on her own Believe in Magic and Hillcrest Blue Wishes. One of her green projects, Believe in Blue, is still out and winning with successful young rider, Vivian Golden. From the pony divisions, Jenn graduated to horses and continued her legacy of making up young projects into successful, competitive animals. She won numerous World Championship Hunter Rider awards as well as a top 10 finish at USEF Medal Finals. In 2014, Jenn won the prestigious WCHR Developing Professional Championships, symbolizing the launch of a stellar professional career. With her famous whitefaced hunter, Poker Face, she won ribbons at the largest shows in the U.S., including Devon, WCHR Hunter Spectacular, and indoors. Jenn is a tough competitor in the National and International Derby rings with a 7th place finish in the acclaimed International Hunter Derby Championships.

YOUNG PROFESSIONAL SPOTLIGHT:

Jennifer Bliss

AND HARRIS HILL FARM ABOVE: JENNIFER AND POKER FACE AT THE AIKEN SPRING HORSE SHOW.

Now awaiting the birth of her first child, Jenn has spent the winter at her home base in Wellington, Florida, teaching and training the clients of Harris Hill Farm. With a quiet demeanor and genial smile, she can be found preparing riders of all levels for the hunter and equitation rings. TPH recently caught up with Jenn at the Winter Equestrian Festival.

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TPH: Tell us about your location in Wellington. JBB: We have been based in Wellington full time for about 4 years. After renting for several seasons, we purchased a farm in Loxahatchee, Florida, about a year and a half ago. One of the great advantages is that it is in a quiet gated community. So, while it is only 15 minutes from the show, it feels like a world away for the horses. We have 12 stalls, 6 paddocks, a large ring, and miles of trails. We have all of the modern day amenities like a treadmill and Theraplate. For me personally, it is such a joy because we live there and I can walk down and do night check myself and fuss over the horses to my heart’s delight! TPH: What about the nature of your business? Hunter, jumper, equitation, sales? JBB: While I grew up doing the equitation as well, my heart has always been in the hunter ring and that is definitely the central focus of my stable. I just love the finesse that one must develop to be a great hunter rider; the complexity of building such a strong relationship with your horse that it all appears effortless. Riding hunters well, really any good riding in general, is such a blend of technical skill and innate feeling, and striving for that beautiful round is so appealing to me. These days, with the rise of the Hunter Derby, there is a whole new level of scope and rideability that is required, without sacrificing style. The two main components of my business are professional horses that I develop, show and eventually sell for myself, in addition to a group of amateur students ranging from Low Adult to Amateur Owner Hunter riders. Some are year round, and some are with us just seasonally for WEF. TPH: When I think of you, I think of your skill with young horses. Is bringing along young horses your favorite part of your profession? Can you talk about a horse that you brought along from the beginning?

TOP: SUGARMAN COMPETING AT THE OLD SALEM FARM HORSE SHOW; ABOVE LEFT: POKER FACE JUMPING TO 7TH OVERALL IN THE 2014 USHJA INTERNATIONAL HUNTER DERBY CHAMPIONSHIP, KENTUCKY HORSE PARK; ABOVE RIGHT: POKER FACE, 2ND IN THE USHJA INTERNATIONAL DERBY AT THE ATLANTA HORSE PARK.

JBB: I get such a thrill out of developing young horses. Growing up in New York, my family had a farm and always kept my horses and ponies at home. From the start, we would find green ponies or sometimes more seasoned ones that

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LEFT TO RIGHT: FACE THE MUSIC SHOWING AT WEF; POKER FACE IN THE 2017 WCHR PALM BEACH HUNTER SPECTACULAR; SUGARMAN AT WEF 2018.

needed some TLC and just take our time working with them. We ended up with some special and successful competitors, but more than anything it just instilled in me a love for that whole process. There is something very special about starting a horse from the very beginning stages of his education, and together working up to the higher levels. The knowledge that you have of their past experiences, the trust you have built up in each other. It is so cool to have moments with a horse like Poker Face, showing in the WCHR Hunter Spectacular as a 4' horse and thinking back to his first show in the Baby Greens at the same venue years ago. Or under the lights at Derby Finals and remembering his very first National Derby. Poker Face is probably my most high profile example right now, but it is something that I have been doing for most of my life and what I hope to continue to do for many years to come. TPH: How do you approach teaching and training? What is your system with both younger and more seasoned horses and riders? JBB: My system with the horses really focuses on fitness and rideability at home – lots of flat work, ground poles, and cavalettis. I don’t jump a lot at home, and rarely big jumps unless we are specifically addressing a particular issue or in the final stages of getting ready for a certain show. I try to save

their jumps for the horse shows. And keep their minds fresh with some trail riding for those horses that enjoy it. As a teacher, I have a real appreciation for what a life long passion and pursuit riding is, and I try to impart that to my students. I want them to love their horses and enjoy the process and small achievements along the way. I have a nice balance of patience with my ladies that have started at this later in life, but also an ability to guide my more seasoned clients toward their competitive goals. TPH: What does the Harris Hill Farm show schedule look like? JBB: WEF during the winter months. During the summer, Florida remains our home base, but we travel on and off to show. Typically two weeks or so on the road followed by a few weeks at home. In recent years, we have enjoyed showing primarily in Aiken, Tryon, and Kentucky during the summer. Indoors in the fall if we have the right group of horses that particular year. We do take advantage of the local shows in Wellington throughout the summer and fall for the greener horses or riders that just need some low-key mileage. TPH: What sets you apart as a trainer? JBB: At the risk of sounding cheesy, my strongest attribute as a horseman is my absolute dedication to horses whether I am bringing along a young horse or preserving an older one. I have a lot of

patience with the horses. I’ve had a few that were difficult young horses, but so much quality. For me, I don’t really care if it takes 3 months or 3 years to make them up properly. I don’t mind the quirky ones that need a little extra time or attention. We keep our program small so that I can be hands-on in every aspect of the horses’ life. I spend the time trying to figure out what makes each horse happy and comfortable, and just try to do what I truly believe is right for that individual horse. I just love the process and the relationship with the horses. I draw a lot of confidence from the fact that I have put the time and care into my horses’ development in a thoughtful way. It enables me to trust them in a deeper way and eventually call on them in bigger competitive situations down the line. I have also had a few that we nursed back from injuries that have taken literally years of blood, sweat, and tears and seemed like a borderline insane undertaking at times. But, when I look at them now, it is something that makes me really proud. TPH: Jenn, we wish you the best of luck with your career and your new addition. JBB: I am having a girl, so I am already dreaming of ponies!

◼

BY SISSY WICKES; PHOTOS BY SALLY

FLOYD KAY, THE BOOK LLC, ALISON HARTWELL, SPORTFOT, NICK GAGLIARDI & SHAWN MCMILLEN PHOTOGRAPHY

CONTACT JENNIFER BLISS AT HARRIS HILL FARM • 914-954-7446 • HARRISHILLFARMLLC.COM

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Show your stripesâ&#x20AC;Ś

Everything Herd of Zebras stands for is designed to give you that warm fuzzy feeling on the inside and out, empower you, and stand alongside you.

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FOREST FRANZOI, FAR LEFT, WITH SPARKY & LIZ FRANZOI, BELOW.

Products designed to empower. Forest Franzoi, founder of the Herd of Zebras brand, is as unusual as her first name. She proudly explains that she is the third generation of female Forest’s, but the first to use it as her first name. This was the first sign of fearlessness. Although only in her early 30’s, Forest has faced autoimmune disease, chronic pain, infertility, heartbreak and loss. Rather than be felled by her hardships, she found strength and resolve. Like many equestrians, Forest turned to horses for solace and unconditional acceptance. Throughout bouts with endometriosis and personal anguish, Forest continued her relationship with horses and her barn family. “I found my escape and my purpose every day at the barn,” she states. “I don’t know how I would have survived without horses in my life. They are my safe haven.”

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A community

that speaks

to the

As she emerged from her twenties, scarred and bruised, Forest decided to shed the cloak of the past and begin an apparel line celebrating each person’s unique journey in life. So begins Herd of Zebras (www.herd-of-zebras.com). “Show your stripes,” as the tag line explains, Herd of Zebras embraces the different stripes that we each display. As is common knowledge, each zebra carries a unique pattern of stripes with no two zebras identical. Forest took this concept and applied it to people. “The stories behind our stripes are unique as well. We see stripes in place of scars, each bearing a unique story of true grit, endurance, and perseverance. Herd of Zebras is so much more than a brand. We’re a community of warriors living outside of a black and white world. What sets us apart from the rest are the stripes we bare and how we earned them.”

heart. VENDETTA, IN A HERD OF ZEBRAS BONNET.

Behind every great warrior is a Herd of Zebras.

Leaving a successful career as a brand manager at a global corporation, Forest partnered with her sister-in-law and best friend, Liz Franzoi, to design a line of apparel, accessories, and equestrian goods with the Herd of Zebras logo on each. The logo, an adorable, multi-colored zebra face with a heart in the center, is named Sparky after Forest’s beloved pony who has been part of her family for 24 years. T-shirts, sweatshirts, and a warm, fuzzy pullover, the apparel is all designed with comfort in mind. Accessories include hats, stickers, and drink ware. For your horse, Herd of Zebras offers its zebra logo embroidered on high quality saddle pads, a bonnet, and a beautiful striped cooler.

Herd of Zebras is more than an image; it is a symbol of tolerance, inclusion, and strength. As Forest explains, “We want to create a solid lifestyle brand for likeminded, open hearted individuals. We are kind, approachable, and a bit bad ass!” With impressive social media acumen, Forest has successfully launched Herd of Zebras on the national equestrian stage. The products are sold online through their website. Look for Herd of Zebras products and join the herd forging the trail toward tolerance, understanding, and kindness. ◼ BY SISSY WICKES; PRODUCT PHOTOS COURTESY HERD OF ZEBRAS; SPARKY’S PHOTOS, COPPER ARROW PHOTOGRAPHY

Herd of Zebras can be found at herd-of-zebras.com, on Instagram at @herd.of.zebras, and on Facebook at herd of zebras.

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RC:     Passion. Dedication. Integrity. BY SISSY WICKES • Much has been made by this author and many others of the hardships faced by the sport horse breeder in North America. How do breeders in the U.S. and Canada compete with the breadth and depth of the European breeders? Are we capable of producing sport horses with the same caliber of quality as those born abroad? At RiverCross Farm, the answer is a resounding yes.

Jan and Sally Philippo’s RiverCross farm is a bucolic oasis of green grass and open fields in Eastern Canada- a perfect place to raise a young horse. Horses of all SALLY PHILIPPO ages dot the landscape at RiverCross, each a part of the small, selective breeding program established by the couple. As Sally explains, “About fifteen years ago, we had the idea of bringing Dutch horses to North America. We chose them because of their great temperaments and athleticism. They are the perfect types for the amateur rider here in the U.S. and Canada. And, we knew that if we sold them into that market they would be treasured by their owners. That means a lot to us.” Initially, the Philippos began their search for breeding stock at the iconic VDL Stud in Holland. The couple purchased three broodmares, two of which became Canadian Warmblood Horse Breeder’s Association National Champions. Carefully choosing proven stallions to complement their mares, the Philippos began a successful, small scale breeding program. Sally explains, “RiverCross uses bloodlines based on the VDL horses, refined for jump and temperament to suit the North American market.” The produce of the RiverCross program can be found in equitation, jumper, hunter, and derby rings throughout Canada and the U.S. With breeder’s prefix of RiverCross, names such as Onyx, Winsome, Regent, and Evita are garnering prizes from California to Ohio to Wellington, Florida. RiverCross get can also be found in the pony ring as Sally tries her hand at pony breeding with RiverCross Utopia and RiverCross Blenheim. The Philippos proudly follow the careers of their horses and feel invested in their future. Sally opines, “It is easy to get drawn into this industry and it can be overwhelming at times and very costly. But what is meaningful is our relationship with horses. I love to take the time to know them and work with them. They are such willing creatures. It can be absolutely restorative for me.” As important as the horses RiverCross breeds are the people involved in developing them. Sally believes in slow, careful training that provides each horse with plenty of time to come to hand. Their onsite staff at RiverCross is patient and knowledgeable. In addition, Sally is stalwart in her belief in opportunity. “Our program provides opportunity to many. We have a core of young people surrounding and supporting it. I am blessed to be a part of it.” RiverCross horses have been with many of the sport’s top names such

ON LEFT: RIVERCROSS BLENHEIM. ON RIGHT: RIVERCROSS MYSTIC. RIGHT PAGE: TRAINER YANN JACQ WITH RIVERCROSS CRI DE COEUR.

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34 • THE PLAID HORSE as Victoria Colvin and Jenny Karazissis. But, as important to the Philippos are the young equestrians involved in training the horses. Local Canadian rider Billie Derouet has successfully started and developed a number of RiverCross horses. Talented young trainer Yann Jacq has been instrumental in handling and training the horses as they prepare for life as competitors. In addition, pony rider and aspiring trainer Erika Skye Boisvert has achieved great results with homebred ponies. Sally explains, “I love to give opportunity to people who need a break. Professional success should not be determined by money in this business.” With thoughtful pedigree matches and a careful development program, RiverCross follows their offspring every step of the way. Demonstrating personal dedication to their equine offspring, the Philippos stay involved with the horses as they progress in their careers. Sally explains, “The bottom line is love for these remarkable creatures that we are privileged to care for, raise, and train. Every

LEFT: RIVERCROSS UTOPIA & PARKER PIOMBO. ABOVE: RIVERCROSS NOBILITY & AUDREY POOLE. BELOW: RIVERCROSS ONYX & TORI COLVIN.

single one of the homebred horses and ponies we have sold are in hands of people who stay in touch and deeply appreciate them. I know this is unique in this industry environment and I am grateful for it. Some clients have become part of our wider family since the beginning of our ‘project,’ such as the Piombo family.” The Piombos have purchased two wonderful ponies, Blenheim and Utopia, from the RiverCross program. Homebred stallion RiverCross Cri de Coeur (tracing to Mr. Blue, Concorde, Voltaire, Numero Uno) is an exciting prospect at the farm. A gorgeous grey with a large, kind eye, the young horse will begin his performance career in 2019 and is currently available for breeding. A boutique breeding operation focused on quality and integrity in all aspects, RiverCross embodies the passion of its owners, Jan and Sally Philippo. “We are about producing horses suitable for the amateur market, providing opportunity, and having patience with our horses.” Despite the busy world in which we all live, Sally will always have time to talk to anyone who would like to ask questions about her horses and ponies. In a world where larger is often deemed better, RiverCross mirrors excellence in selective breeding and carefully nurtured horses. ◼ PHOTOS BY ALDEN CORRIGAN MEDIA, ARYANE TANGUAY PHOTOGRAPHIE, & GRAND PIX PHOTOGRAPHY

For more information, go to rivercrossfarm.com or find them on Facebook at rivercross farm.

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Self Care Tips for Creating a More Balanced Lifestyle Stable to City Wipes – naturally sanitizing, chemical-free and convenient tablets packed into a small travel tube. Simply add an ounce or so of water and unroll to reveal a full-sized, 8" x 10" biodegradable, bamboo wipe. Heals and refreshes your skin with the hydrating and softening effects of argan and coconut oils, the antiinflammatory effects of rose, the rejuvenating effects of frankincense and geranium, and the antibacterial effects of copaiba oil.

As an equestrian, the demands on your life are intense. Your daily list of to-dos starts at the crack of dawn and keeps going well past dark. You often feel stressed out with everything that needs to be accomplished and while your priorities are centered on your horse and riding, your personal well being often falls to the bottom of the list. And yet, you know deep down it’s time to deal with those nagging health issues that are preventing you from feeling and riding your best. You’re in search of healthy habits and information, but simply don’t have the time to do the research. Essential Helmet Spray – freshens up your helmet, boots, room, fabrics, vehicle, and even yourself! All-natural, non-toxic ingredients (including clove, cinnamon, lavender, lemon, lemongrass, rosemary and eucalyptus essential oils) eliminate foul odors, refreshing your sweaty things and spaces.

Why is self-care important? Because when we focus on ourselves, we spend important moments during the day focusing on activities that bring energy into our lives. Self-care has a long list of benefits including contributing to greater feelings of vitality, balance, energy and productivity.

Here’s a list of self-care habits that you can easily add to your daily routine: Make better food choices. Choose whole and organic with a focus on plant-based options. Be prepared. Plan your meals ahead of time and remember packing your food for the day can go a long way towards improving your energy levels. Find supplements that work well to support your body’s needs.

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Travel Items Collection – six all-natural, handcrafted products for self-care on the go. Essential collection includes our Upper Hand Sanitizer, Dry Shampoo, Essential Helmet Spray, Stable to City Wipes, Nail & Cuticle Essential Nutrient Oil, and Rosemary & Lemon Lip Balm with a convenient travel bag.

Learn to read labels and let go of toxic ingredients. Embrace the habit of reading labels whether it’s products you’re putting in your body or on your body. Your food, personal care and body care products along with home care products should be free of harmful chemicals and toxic additives that don’t belong with in or near our bodies. Embrace decluttering. There is a multitude of ways to do this. Start with a simple process of clearing out closets and drawers and work towards letting go of things, objects and clothing that is simply taking up room. Make room for those items that make you feel positive and motivated and enable you to move through your personal space with ease. Hydrate. When we are dehydrated, our bodies have to work extra hard to maintain the function of every system in the body. Proper hydration regulates body temperature and proper joint function. Without enough water in the body, we feel depleted and lack the energy to think and move well.

Slow down. Sounds counterintuitive, but doing fewer things with better focus and concentration each day is more worthwhile than trying to rush around and accomplish everything with mediocre results. Create a sleep routine. Begin by going to sleep at the time each night. Turn off electronics an hour before bedtime. Sleep is the cornerstone for a productive and energized day. Sleep deprivation can create hormonal imbalances and lead to fluctuating energy and moods. Remember to make time for fun and self-care. Without fun and joy, our lives become dull and unsatisfying. Self-care in the form of spending time with friends or working with alternative health providers to get massages and acupuncture can make a world of difference in how we feel about and in our bodies. Identify people and things that deplete your energy. Have you heard of energy vampires? These are those people or activities that make you feel like you’re sinking instead of swimming gracefully through your life. Time to let go of these burdens and feel the lightness. Magic Mane Dust Dry Shampoo – a blend of Italian red clay, arrowroot powder and cornstarch with frankincense powder and geranium essential oil. Absorbs oil and leaves your hair looking clean and bouncy.

38 • THE PLAID HORSE

Cross train to prevent injury as well as de-stress. Find a cross training routine such as Pilates, yoga, resistance training or whatever exercise works best for your body type. Choose something fun that you can stick with and keeps your feeling inspired. Practice gratitude and mindfulness. A daily practice of meditation and mindfulness can go a long way towards manifesting your dreams while helping to maintain a positive outlook on life. Set intentions. Creating goals and working towards them daily is the best way to take care of oneself! Find a system that works best for you. Write in a journal. Use your journal to capture your dreams, visions and hopes for your future. It’s the best way to manifest what you want most in life. Always take the time to write a few words before you go to bed to reflect on your day and when you awaken to jumpstart your day. Even if it’s just a to do list, this is one habit that will grow on you.

The Wellness Box – a collection of eight all-natural, handcrafted products that may help boost your immune system and fend off colds and flu! No artificial colors, flavorings, additives, or toxic chemicals are used in the making of these products. Collection includes EW Elderberry Syrup, Cough Syrup, Fire Cider, Wellness Tea, De-Stress Tonic, Chest Rub, Throat Spray, and RiderAide.

Speak your truth and live with passion. Learning to speak from your heart is the best way to take care of oneself. Don’t let others impose their opinions and thoughts if they don’t agree with your mindset. It’s ok to be different. There is only one you. Most importantly, acknowledge that you’re doing the best you can each day with the tools and information you have at the moment. Never be intimidated by those people who seem to manage their lives with perfect flow. Their ability to move through life with ease and grace didn’t happen overnight. It takes effort to make changes and remember that you don’t have to do everything overnight. Taking baby steps for learning and creating positive selfcare habits is the key to success. ◼ BY VALERIE BRESLOW; PHOTOS COURTESY EQUESTRIAN WELLNESS

Valerie Breslow is a clinical nutritionist & holistic health coach

as well as a wellness products entrepreneur. She is Founder / CEO of Equestrian Wellness, a holistic health Website focused on enriching the mind, body and spirit of the equestrian. EW connects riders to the world of nutrition and wellness by providing the tools, products and education to make better choices when it comes to healthy food, lifestyle habits, wellness products and mindfulness.

Visit equestrianwellness.com, to discover the complete Equestrian Wellness line of non-toxic body care products as well as informative blogs written for and about equestrians. Valerie’s expert training in the field of health and wellness, along with her own personal, life-changing experiences enables her to coach her clients to reach their maximum athletic potential both in and out of the saddle.

Rider Aide – an amazing Vitamin C / Electrolyte drink mix made with all natural, gluten-free ingredients including strawberry, coconut, maple sugar, acerola berry, rosehips, hibiscus flower, orange peel, magnesium citrate and real salt. No artificial sweeteners, colors or flavors. Rider tested and approved!

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Wishes all Competitors Best of Luck in 2019!

PHOTO © ANDREW RYBACK PHOTOGRAPHY.

Stonewall Farm • 920-889-0028 S TO N E WA L L P O N I E S@YA H O O.C O M • I XO N I A , W I S C O N S I N

Vermont Summer Festival 40 â&#x20AC;˘ THE PLAID HORSE

FIVE REASONS the

IS THE PLACE TO BE THIS SUMMER

Candice King & Calisto.

The Vermont Summer Festival

has not only charmed show jumping athletes along the East Coast and beyond over the last two decades, but it also has become one of the most popular summer destinations in North America.

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Tucked just south of the Green Mountain National Forest, the competition grounds at Harold Beebe Farm, home to the six-week circuit each July and August, are surrounded by photo-worthy views. The series in the Manchester, VT, area attracts riders from all corners of the United States for dynamic competition spanning the levels from cross-rails to weekly grand prix events. While the competition is family-friendly, welcoming, and just plain fun, the surrounding community provides plenty of entertainment for equestrians who choose to spend their summers in Vermont.

Take a look at all there is to love about the Vermont Summer Festival, running July 2 through August 11, 2019, at Harold Beebe Farm in East Dorset, Vermont: 1. Location, Location, Location When Vermont Summer Festival exhibitors are asked what they love most about spending their summers in the mountains of Manchester, Vermont, their first response is almost always, “the views!” While the location seems meant-to-be, the process of finding Harold Beebe Farm was a result of good business sense. A quarter of a century ago, the Vermont Summer Festival sprouted up as a tiny horse show in the parking lot of a popular ski resort in Killington, VT. The show felt like a carnival with everything from footing to bathrooms trucked in, and it attracted riders from neighboring states in the Northeastern U.S. and Southeastern Canadian provinces. After a few years at a number of different locations, the Vermont Summer Festival settled in East Dorset to better serve the largest concentration of its exhibitors, which existed in the Manchester area. It was then that the Vermont Summer Festival as we know it today was born and began attracting competitors from far and wide. “I am proud to say that after 25 years, we are still here and continuing to grow and thrive,” said Vermont Summer Festival Show Manager John Ammerman, who saw the show celebrate its 25-year anniversary last year. “The show has experienced quite the evolution, but my staff and I have poured countless hours into the current location and could not be more proud of what it has become.”

2. Families Who Show Together Stay Together That summer feeling is hard to beat, especially for families with young children. When the final school bell rings, many horse show families head to Vermont. They may come from different parts of the country and have different goals for the six-week circuit but their experiences, both in and out of the show ring, can be summed up in two words: family fun. It is common to see grand prix riders like Marylisa Leffler, who hails from Rolling Acres Show Stables in Brookeville, MD, competing herself and then helping her niece at the amateur hunter ring or coaching her brother-in-law in the adult jumpers. It’s also an unspoken tradition that many riders finish a round in the grand prix ring before quickly hurrying over to the pony ring to watch their children compete. Manchester itself mirrors that all-inclusive vibe and is home to attractions that range from public swimming holes and ice skating to mountain biking and fly fishing and so much more. For another family – the Schauders of Country Lane Farm of Greenwich, CT – summer vacation means one thing: horse showing in Vermont! Emma, 23, Lindsay, 20, and Avery, 14, accompany their mother, Christina, and father, Fred, to the Vermont Summer Festival each summer. It would be considered a working vacation for most, but the Schauders embrace any opportunity to horse show together. For Emma, the Vermont Summer Festival has been a part of her show schedule since she first sat in a saddle. A graduate of the University of Georgia, Emma said, “We have seen the Vermont Summer Festival get better and better each year. It has become a second home for me, my family, and our barn.”

3. Points Palooza The Vermont Summer Festival is the ideal location for points-chasing from the equitation ring to the hunter ranks. Qualifying opportunities span the disciplines, and exciting offerings are served up to hunter and equitation riders courtesy of World Championship Hunter Rider (WCHR) week and “Equitation Tuesdays.” Some of the country’s top hunter competitors make the pilgrimage to the Vermont Summer Festival for WCHR week, held annually during the third week of competition. After gaining points at member horse shows across the nation, including the Vermont Summer Festival, the top 10 nationally-ranked riders and top six regionallyranked riders in each category go head-to-head in the WCHR Finals at the Capital Challenge Horse Show in Upper Marlboro, MD. It doesn’t stop there for hunters. The weekly $5,000 3’3” NEHJA Hunter Derby makes its return in 2019 to highlight the Thursday schedule and culminates with a $15,000 offering on August 8 during the sixth and final week. Additionally, any rider with equitation finals on his or her to do list can check off all the boxes at the Vermont Summer Festival. Thanks to weekly equitation offerings, as well as the extremely popular “Equitation Tuesdays” introduced in 2013, the Vermont Summer Festival has quickly made a name for itself among equitation riders and trainers as an “Equitation Bootcamp” of sorts. With opportunities to qualify for all the major finals, Tuesdays at Vermont are host to a big group of young riders and national championship hopefuls, all with the goal of preparing for prestigious year-end finals.

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4. Top Sport As a spectator, if there’s one day to not miss at the Vermont Summer Festival, it’s Saturday. The show peaks each week with a $30,000 Grand Prix, held the first five Saturdays of the six-week circuit, before the season culminates with the $50,000 Grand Prix on the final weekend. The show serves as the perfect environment for tomorrow’s stars to shine with young horses, and up-and-coming riders often pocket the first big wins of their careers at the Vermont Summer Festival. The jumps are big, the riders are hungry for a win, and the sport will not disappoint!

It’s not just the riders and the horses who steal the show. The course designers at the Vermont Summer Festival are some of the best in the world. The list includes the likes of Alan Wade of Ireland, who was honored with the prestigious appointment of course designer for the 2018 World Equestrian Games (WEG) in Tryon, NC. In addition, Mexico’s Manuel Esparza was part of the course-building team at the 2016 Olympic Games in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, while Canada’s Michel Vaillancourt has the 1976 Olympic individual silver medal to his credit. All three will bring their talents to Vermont this summer.

5. After Hours When the show wraps each day, ample opportunities exist for entertainment. So many, in fact, that it often takes all six weeks to fit everything in.

First, there’s the food. Dining in the Manchester region is second to none. Home to restaurants spanning the gamut of food options, Manchester and its surrounding areas are a foodie’s paradise. The perfect opportunity to test drive the options is to attend the weekly exhibitor parties, which are hosted by a different venue each Wednesday throughout the six weeks of showing. Second, there’s the shopping. One of Manchester’s biggest claims to fame is the Manchester Designer Outlets, which are considered a shopping getaway for locals and visitors alike. Located in the heart of Manchester, the outlets included within the Manchester Designer Outlets offer boutique shopping opportunities from more than 40 brands, including iconic names like Bass, Overland, Theory, and Vineyard Vines. In addition to dining and entertainment, Manchester area hotels and resorts embrace country luxury and provide an ideal home away from home for horse show-goers. The best part is that the community truly embraces the Vermont Summer Festival and welcomes riders, trainers, and their families into the region. ◼ BY LINDSAY BROCK/JUMP MEDIA Want to find out more about the Vermont Summer Festival? Visit www.vt-summerfestival.com, or follow on Facebook and Instagram.

1. Alexandra Carlton & Cardiograaf. 2. Prize! 3. Matthew Metell & Donchalant. 4. Molly Kenney & Etienne. 5. DJ Volandre & Jennifer Ritucci with Quidams Reveal. 6. David Jennings & Cesar de Lison Z. 7. Elizabeth Stroh & Coralina. PHOTOS © JUMP MEDIA & ANDREW RYBACK PHOTOGRAPHY.

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Mind Body Horse: Achieving Alignment Through Yoga

By Jess Clawson, PhD Photos Jimena Peck Photography

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If a life can have a narrative, the throughline of Carrie Fraser’s story is one of alignment. Emotionally, physically, and spiritually, her life has been an education in finding that balance. She started Mind Body Horse to share what she has learned on the crooked path that has been her life so far. At 27, Fraser found herself sitting in her therapist’s office not sure what to do. She had two young children (now teenagers). On some level, she knew that she needed to leave her husband. How could she be a single mother, keep a career going, and keep riding? Getting to ride at all was not always a given for Fraser. “I would beg, borrow, or steal to ride,” the now 39 year old says. “I grew up in a non-horsey family. I wasn’t given the opportunity to take consistent lessons and develop a foundation as a rider, let alone compete.” And as Fraser would discover over the course of her life, without a foundation, nothing is stable.

“It was very obvious that I needed to leave my marriage,” Fraser recalls. “But I was ungrounded, unclear, confused, completely turned around. I didn’t trust myself.” These hallmarks of a toxic relationship affected every area of her life, including riding. “I was competing, but it wasn’t going well. I think the horse could feel the instability in my life and in my body, and he didn’t like it,” she says. “I wasn’t my best self, I wasn’t present, my body was completely off all the time.”

“With yoga, you practice alignment and over time, this alignment starts to seep into every part of your life. The areas that are out of alignment become very obvious,” Fraser says.

Previously, yoga helped her maintain the balance. Fraser began practicing in college, and it has remained a consistent part of her life since. Though she worked hard practicing yoga, the results weren’t showing up. The alignment, even on the mundane physical level, wasn’t sticking.

“Yoga has taught me to trust myself. To trust my gut instincts, listen to my body and to feel truth,” she says.

That’s when she realized that in a physical way, her body was twisting her away from what she avoided looking at. Both her horse and her yoga mat reflected back to her what she avoided: that she needed to make some major overhauls of her life, beginning with leaving her marriage, if she wanted to achieve the alignment she sought.

Yoga became the glue to keep herself together while she transitioned herself and her children out of her marriage and into a new life. Yoga helped her learn to let go of everything she twisted herself to hold together--husband, horse, habits--that were not serving her.

Enter Mind Body Horse, the business she started with Courtney Mulica. They knew that other people could benefit from everything they had learned, and created a program that equestrians (always busy) could practice from anywhere, whenever they needed it, to strengthen their connection with their horses and their own minds and bodies.

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1. A HEALTHY TOP LINE* ALLOWS YOUR HORSE TO USE HIS BODY EFFECTIVELY, BUILD CORRECT MUSCULATURE, AND PROTECT FROM INJURY OR STRAIN. THE CAT YOGA POSE HELPS BUILD YOUR TOP LINE AND IMPROVES YOUR OVERALL WAY OF GOING, HEALTH AND WELLNESS. 2. RIDER BIOMECHANICS AND YOGA – THE PLANK YOGA POSE MAKES YOUR ABS WORK IN A TARGETED AND LENGTHENED POSITION VERSUS A SHORTENED POSITION AND ALSO ENGAGES YOUR STABILIZERS, INCREASES ABDOMINAL TONE (ALLOWING YOU TO KEEP YOUR HORSE OFF THE FOREHAND), AND HELPS IMPROVE STABILITY IN YOUR WAIST, GIVING YOUR HORSE A STABLE FRAMEWORK TO MOLD HIMSELF AROUND*. 3. WHAT DOES THIS POSE DO FOR A RIDER’S POSITION? IT SUPPLES THE HIP JOINT SO THAT YOUR LEG CAN STAY BACK, STRENGTHENS THE REAR THIGH OF THE LEG THAT IS LUNGING FORWARD SO IT CAN SUPPORT YOUR POSITION, AND ALLOWS FOR CORRECT CORE ENGAGEMENT*.

*Diagrams adapted from the Happy Horse Training Program, a holistic approach to equitation, combining correct riding, dressage and horse training with holistic horse care and management. Intelligent and practical advice that puts the horse first. For more information, visit www.happy-horse-training.com.

In many ways, yoga and riding are natural partners. Horses are so sensitive to stress and mood that learning to be present and mindful is beneficial to equestrians in any discipline. “Horses provide immediate, non-verbal feedback,” she says. “They act as a kind of mirror for their rider. Whatever you bring to the ring is reflected back to you by your horse. If you are nervous, ungrounded, not present, not clear, you will most likely confuse your horse. As a rider, we need to know what our goal is, where our attention is and what our intention is.” The awareness of one’s body that yoga cultivates is key to the way riders use their bodies to communicate with the horse, who rely on our movements and postures to know what we are telling them. Yoga also helps riders develop the focus and attention that they need to bring their best to the saddle.

Yoga has seemingly countless benefits for equestrians, but among the most important are body awareness, healthy joints, focus, responsibility for one’s own balance, gratitude for the experience, physical balance, feel, and strength. “All the discs in your back participate in absorbing the motion of your horse as you ride,” Fraser says. “If you have tension anywhere in your torso, you will have insufficient movement in your spine. Yoga will help relieve tension, supple the muscles along your spine, and work your core in a very specific way.” At Mind Body Horse, Fraser uses yoga as a tool to make riders feel better, starting with a little stretch and a little strength, and a little breath. “Breathe,” she says. “Your horse will thank you.”

The yoga practice of Mind Body Horse is meant to help riders navigate a chaotic warm up ring or overcome competition jitters with simple breathing exercises, as well as reduce overall inflammation and joint stiffness and increase flexibility and core strength. Alignment with the horse is key to success. “If you are not in balance – mind, body, and heart – to move with the horse’s rhythms, your partnership will suffer,” Fraser says. For Fraser, her life is aligned now. She rides in an eventing program with a trainer she trusts on her heart horse, Beau. “He thinks he’s a lap dog,” she says. “He’s super brave and social.” Her daughters, now 13 and 14, ride too. “The time my daughters and I spend together at lessons, clinics, events, trail rides, is priceless. In a world where raising teenage girls is scarier than ever, our equestrian life has graced us with a plethora of opportunities to grow together.”

To learn more about what Mind Body Horse offers, go to www.mindbodyhorse.com.

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Catch Riding… TPH EDITOR ’S NOTE: This editorial is based on FEI rules. USEF language differs slightly and the USEF Drugs & Medication Hotline Department reported that catch riders involved with a horse with a drug infraction "will be treated on a case by case basis." See GR 401.2.

What is catch riding? When a rider competes in a show, on a horse they do not own or train, it is described as ‘catch riding’. Catch riders have little to no familiarity with the horse prior to being asked to show it. If they are lucky, they may have the opportunity for a few practice rides in the warm-up ring. According to the USEF Rule Book, a catch rider must have no influence with regard to the horse’s competition schedule, management, schooling, exercise, training, care, custody or control.

Why do people catch ride? Riding an unknown horse on short notice can be challenging and requires a confident and competent rider. So why do people catch ride? Some do it to increase their riding and show experience. A catch rider can enjoy the benefit of riding and showing horses without having to endure costly expenses such as vet bills, show fees and the cost of feed. Catch riding can give them invaluable experience in competitive events. Some catch riders do it to push themselves to become better all-rounders. Horse owners engage catch riders for a multitude of reasons. The owner may be unable to show the horse personally at the competition, due to age or injury. A skilled catch rider can increase a horse’s value ahead of sale, as it showcases the horse’s versatility and suitability for a range of riders. Horse owners may also engage catch riders to give experience to green horses, which the owner does not have the confidence to show.

Tips for landing catch riding roles The majority of catch riding opportunities are established through trainers. Prospective catch riders should speak with their trainer and make their keenness to catch ride known. Their trainer should be able to offer guidance about local opportunities. Obtaining written references from trainers, grooms and owners will help riders impress their abilities on horse owners. The market for catch riding is extremely competitive, therefore riders should be honest with themselves about their abilities and be open minded about the horses offered. Riding a wide range of horses will always help increase experience.

What could go wrong? There a number of potential pitfalls that a catch rider should be mindful of. The first of these is personal injury. As the horses offered to catch riders are often green, and new to the show ring, the inherent risks of riding them are even higher than usual. Lisa Lazarus, Head of Equestrian Services at Morgan Sports Law

So, if you as the catch rider fall from the horse and sustain a serious injury, who is liable? In short – it is likely that you are. Courts have consistently recognised that horse riding is inherently dangerous – and that catch riders knowingly accept that danger. Can you sue the owner? Only in very extreme circumstances, where a horse has been found to have “unusual characteristics” which the horse owner knew about and which created the risk of serious injury.

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The second thing to consider is the need to comply with competition anti-doping rules. If the horse you are catch riding fails a doping test, it is you who will personally face a possible suspension and fine. Under the FEI Equine Anti-Doping Rules, the rider has a personal duty to ensure that no prohibited substances are in the horse. Trying the defence that you did not train or prepare the horse will not be accepted (or, at least, it has so far never been accepted). This may sound unfair at first, and you may ask, how can a rider be suspended for the positive test of a horse they rode only once? This is part of the FEI’s strict liability approach. It is intended to (i) ensure a level playing field for all; and (ii) prioritise horse welfare. The case of Qatari rider, Abdulla Mahmood Abdulla Darban, is a cautionary tale. Mr Darban was asked to catch ride a horse 8 days before the event. He was first introduced to the horse just before the pre-ride. The horse then tested positive for a Banned Substance and a Controlled Medication. Despite Mr Darban's playing no part in the horse’s preparation – and explaining to the Tribunal that he trusted and relied upon the trainer to prepare the horse – he received a 2-year suspension and was ordered to pay a 2,000 Swiss Francs fine. While not specifically called catch riding, this is an issue that arises often in the sport of Endurance where riders frequently ride a horse for the first time on competition day. The FEI Tribunal has repeatedly confirmed that the rider is the Person Responsible under the rules even under such circumstances, although trainers are frequently sanctioned as well if they were involved in the violation.

Protection Riders can, and should, protect themselves through comprehensive rider insurance. These policies exist for those who don’t own horses – but do regularly ride. Check the small print, and make sure that the insurance covers your own personal accident expenses as well as vet’s fees for any injury the horse may sustain whilst under your care. Check also for third party liability insurance, which provides compensation if the horse causes injury or damage to someone else’s property. With regards to anti-doping rules, get to know the horse owner and ask as many questions as possible. How experienced are they? Do they appear to have appropriate stable practices? Do they have a good reputation? Have they ever had a doping issue before? Catch riding has many benefits – and is a great way to improve as an equestrian. It is, however, important to think about all of the associated risks, and protect against them, so far as possible. ◼ Lisa Lazarus, former FEI General Counsel, is Head of Equestrian Services at Morgan Sports Law which represents athletes. She can be reached at lisa.lazarus@morgansl.com.

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H M

Creative Nonfiction There is something magic about the bond between a human and a horse. It doesn’t have the bounciness of canine companionship, or the domestic intimacy that comes with owning a cat. You can’t pick up a horse in your arms or sleep next to one in bed, but horses offer something else—an alluring mix of sturdiness and vulnerability. Despite their strength and heft, horses are skittish by nature and easily spooked. They’ll jump at the sound of a tiny dog’s bark, or panic at the sight of harmless branches swaying in the breeze. It’s a seemingly contradictory combination of traits that has called to me since I was a child. At the time, I didn’t know why I loved horses so much. I simply knew that I did, the same way I loved cheese ravioli and the color green. Growing up, every picture I drew was of a horse. Every class writing assignment was about a horse. Every doll, that looked like a person, was actually a horse. I longed for one of my own. I’d ask my parents to get me a horse over Cheerios in the morning and sliced apples in the afternoon. I’d bring it up during bathtime and after my kiss good night. I didn’t understand why my mom and dad said no each and every time. It didn’t occur to me that we might not be able to afford it, that it was a huge responsibility, that maybe they were protecting me. To my eight-year-old mind it seemed like a straightforward problem with a straightforward solution, so it wasn’t long before I went above their heads. Sunday’s mass started like any other at Saint Ann’s, a quaint Catholic church in my hometown of West Newbury, Massachusetts. I stood, sat and knelt at the appropriate times, and internally cataloged my sins for the week—the Polly Pocket Pony Club figurines I hadn’t put away, the times I’d tattled on my brother, and the extra spoonful of peach ice cream I’d stolen from the kitchen when nobody was looking. I kept my remorse to myself. My family wasn’t big on apologies. Instead, we stuck to the “lighten up and move on” resolution strategy preferred by so many in the 90s. (If only it worked.) I wanted to be a perfect little girl who didn’t make messes or cause fights or eat too much. I lived for

Big Love Lessons BY CAROLYN GETCHES

the look on my parents’ faces when their friends would ask, “How do you get her to say please like that?” or “She’ll eat broccoli without throwing a fit?” I reasoned that if I couldn’t figure out how to be perfect, I could at least hide the imperfect parts of myself. I vowed to be better and to not make those same mistakes again. After the appropriate promises had been made, I confronted the task at hand. Dear God, please give me a horse. I requested a palomino or paint. Nothing too big. I wanted a versatile horse I could grow into. I wrapped up my prayer, and mass returned to normal. Once Communion was over, my dad ducked outside to pull our minivan around, increasing his chances of catching the kickoff of the Patriots’ game. On the drive home, I repeated my prayer one more time for good measure. I truly thought that if I wanted it enough, a horse would show up in my bedroom and everyone would understand. And it happened almost exactly like that. ••• When I was about to turn ten years old, my dad’s job was transferred from the East Coast to a college town in northern Colorado. The cross-country move and its surrounding chaos took a toll on my family. My parents said relocating was the right decision, but worried about my brother and me. We missed the friends we had known since preschool and the house that was the only home we ever knew. While my dad and I sat on the itchy peach carpet in my new bedroom and gingerly unpacked my toy horse collection, I mentioned the benefits of equine ownership once again. I readied myself for his standard replies. You’re too young, sweetie. Not right now, little girl. He set down the plastic foal he was holding and looked at me. “Horses live a long time. Are you sure you’re ready for that kind of responsibility?” I nodded uncontrollably. His words made me want a horse more, not less. There was no way I was going to be one of those girls who

liked horses for a few years and then moved on to boys and eyeshadow. I was certain I would feel this love for the rest of my life. My dad pinky promised me that if I worked as hard as I could in school, he would get me a horse by my eleventh birthday. I couldn’t believe it. Though I didn’t own a horse yet, it sure felt like I did. My dad never, ever broke his promises. I began taking riding lessons from a woman named Susan. She ran a small boarding facility with her husband. It had a big metal barn and grassy pastures that backed up to a rocky river. The horses there looked happy and healthy, just like Susan. She was tall and wore her blonde hair in a long braid that got teeny, tiny at the end. Even on the hottest days, she dressed in white long sleeve shirts that she tucked into dark blue Wranglers. After each lesson, I’d begin counting the days until I could return. Susan’s stable felt like a sanctuary compared to my new school. The other students thought my dropped r’s and frequent use of the word “wicked” sounded funny, and I hated the daily dilemma of finding someone to play with at recess. To cope, I retreated to my comfort zone of silence. It was so much easier to connect with my four-legged friends who required no words at all. On weekends, I started cleaning stalls and stacking hay with Susan’s daughter Ingrid. She was a year younger than me and already had a horse of her own, a petite bay Morgan who liked to fight. Connie would lie back her chocolate brown ears flat against her neck and bare her teeth at any horse that got too close. She was territorial and feisty in ways I couldn’t imagine being. Ingrid and I were paid four dollars an hour to do the work, but I would have done it for free. Over the summer my schedule increased to full-time. We ate American cheese and Wonder Bread sandwiches for lunch, two things my mom would never buy. On Fridays we piled into Susan’s Ford pickup truck and went to A&W for root beer floats. In that truck we were taller and louder than everyone else on the road. I was so happy

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THE PLAID HORSE

EQUESTRIAN VOICES CREATIVE WRITING CONTEST

to be part of a group, and even happier it was a group who wore Wranglers. I had spent hours at the home and ranch store searching for a pair that fit. While not overweight, I was far from little-girlskinny. My soft stomach and plump thighs meant the only jeans I could zip came the “husky” section of the boys’ department. I cut off the tag the second I got home, settling for pretend perfection yet again. My family stopped going to church for the most part, but I quickly found a new Sunday ritual. Susan and Ingrid took me to a weekly horse show in Greeley, a rural city about an hour away. The numerous slaughterhouses and meatpacking plants made Greeley famous for one thing— smelling like moldy beef. I couldn’t wait until that thick scent hit my nostrils. It meant we were getting close. The dusty fairgrounds were packed full of massive horse trailers, stocked coolers and nervous parents. I’d watch Ingrid and Connie breeze around the ring, often placing in the top three. After, Ingrid would hold up her bright ribbon and pose with Connie for pictures. I would clap and cheer as loud as I could, hoping it would mask my jealousy. Back at the stables, Susan’s husband waved me over to one of the outdoor pens. He pointed to a horse standing by herself in the coral closest to us. I knew every horse from forelock to tail, and this palomino was definitely new. She was tall, I guessed almost sixteen hands, and muscular. She had a light gold coat, and her mane and tail were a creamy white. “She’s so pretty,” I said. “An old friend used to own her and saw she was for sale,” he said. “She’s fourteen now, but I bought her anyway thinking your dad might want to get her for you.” It was August eighth. My birthday was on the sixteenth. I stared at the beautiful mare. He handed me a light blue halter with tan detailing across the noseband. “Go on. See what you think.” I entered the pen and gently eased the halter over the horse’s head. Her long whiskers tickled me as she nuzzled my hand. Up close, I could see she had green eyes that were speckled with brown. I had never seen green eyes on a horse before. They were green like my grandma’s, green like mine.

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My dad was almost as excited as me when he bought Amarilla for three thousand dollars. He had been a 4-H member as a kid, and together his club had raised enough money to afford a single gelding. He was so proud to be able to buy his daughter a horse just for her, not one eighth of a horse like he had. His father was a plumber and his mother a teacher, when she was well enough to work. She suffered from debilitating bouts of depression that left her in bed for weeks on end. Through her sickest years, my dad was responsible for feeding several local horses on his way to school. Just like they would do for me three decades later, horses offered him solace in a time of struggle. The instant Amarilla was mine, I began relishing my new role as owner. I baked her homemade treats filled with oats and molasses. I gave her long baths with lavenderscented shampoo. I devised secret ways for us to communicate that only we could understand. If she tilted one ear towards me that was a yes. Both ears? That was a no. I knew it was ridiculous and that we weren’t really talking, except what if we were? I tried to predict her every want and need. When I sensed her face was itchy, I would turn around so she could run her large head up and down my back like a scratching post. I felt so good in those moments, so necessary. It seemed my obsession and solidness finally had value. I traced Amarilla’s whole body with my hands, finding a slight indent above her shoulder. Susan said it was likely a dead muscle from being overworked by previous owners. She had heard stories that Amarilla’s old trainer used to cover the beams of each practice jump with sharp spikes. I searched her smooth stomach for scars. I liked the idea of being Amarilla’s savior. I was going to show her the good life, and it would last forever. Like many new parents, I thought everything about my horse was rare and worthy of praise. “Breathe in. Right here. What do you smell?” I said to Ingrid, pointing to Amarilla’s shoulder. “Old horse poop?” she replied. “You can’t smell that?” I said, pitying Ingrid’s limited senses. “Ammy smells sweet like sugar.” Ammy was my latest stab at a nickname. Earning your own epithet was a rite of passage in our house, a holdover from

my dad’s years in a fraternity. Within a few months both of my parents were calling her Am Bam. I stuck with Ammy. I thought she liked it better. In the afternoons Ingrid and I took our horses on long, lazy trail rides, delighting every child we passed. “Can we pet them?” they would ask. Ingrid often had to decline since Connie could be mean and unpredictable. “Of course,” I’d say. I was beginning to understand the pride my parents felt when other moms inquired about my love of broccoli. As the days got hotter, the snowpack on the Rocky Mountains melted, and the nearby river nearly overflowed its banks. Ingrid and I couldn’t resist the chance to take our horses swimming. We rode bareback to avoid damaging our leather saddles and headed for the shore. Ingrid barely had time to kick off her boots before Connie charged into the icy water. She started to laugh. “I thinks she’s doing the doggy paddle,” Ingrid said. I used my heels to encourage Ammy to follow Connie’s lead. She took several slow steps, wading in deeper and deeper. The water was cold and astringent on my toes. Suddenly, Ammy’s lungs filled with air, and I felt her powerful legs cut through the current. I wrapped my arms around her neck, worrying I might float away. On Ammy’s back, my body had a lightness that I wasn’t used to feeling while wearing my husky Wranglers. After a few minutes, we returned to the trail. Ingrid and I lay back and rested our heads just above our horses’ tails. We let the spring sunshine warm us up. ••• The first show of the season was approaching, and it was time to let everyone see the Colorado cowgirl I’d become. When we arrived at the fairgrounds at seven o’clock in the morning, they were already bustling with activity. I complained as my dad covered my face with too much sunscreen. He put on a brand new ten-gallon hat to protect his balding head and fit in with the crowd. “Squire Jim reporting for duty,” he said. “What do you need?” “Can you brush the lint off my helmet?” I asked. My dad gave me a salute and got to work. For the next two summers, every weekend he would press my clothes, help me condition

my tack, and carefully pin my number on the back of my fitted show blazer. Months down the line, when Ammy and I began competing in most of the day’s events, he would rush over to us as we left the arena, handing me cold drinks and candy bars. His enthusiasm made me feel like one of the professional athletes he loved to watch on TV. It was almost time for my first class. Susan advised Ingrid and me to keep a few horses between us in case Ammy and Connie were tempted to misbehave. As we filed into the ring, the Dixie Chicks song blaring over the speakers cut out, and a hush fell over the bleachers. “Please walk your horses,” the announcer said. I lifted Ammy’s belly with my ankles. I could feel her energy beneath me, an extra spring in each step. I made a quiet clicking sound hoping Ammy would tune in. Can you hear me? Her ears stayed pointed in Connie’s direction. “Trot,” the announcer said. I pressed my outside leg into Ammy’s ribs, keeping my reins tight. She lurched forward. I gripped her withers for support as we sped past the horse in front of us. Ammy threw her head high in the air. Then she arched her neck, and kicked her hind legs off the ground. While Ammy continued to buck, I heard the announcer tell the other competitors to halt their horses. I managed to hang on for a few seconds before falling off completely. By the time I got to my feet, Ammy was skidding to a stop right next to Connie. My face was hot with humiliation. I was already mentally composing a newspaper advertisement for a disobedient palomino mare when Ammy turned around and looked directly at me. “Oops,” her expression seemed to say. My fury disappeared. She was sorry. I brushed the dust off my pants and ran over to her. Ammy tucked her head right behind my shoulder as we exited the arena so the others could finish the event. “Thank God your mom wasn’t here. She’d of had a conniption,” my dad said, patting Ammy’s neck. “What was that all about, Am Bam?” That afternoon, Ammy bucked me off two more times. I wasn’t deterred. I just had to figure out what she needed. Inspired by The Horse Whisperer that had recently come out in theaters, I started practicing natural horsemanship with Ammy. We spent hours in the round pen, working

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on trust and communication. I’d stand in the center and she would spin around me as we learned to translate each others’ languages. Soon, she would stop, walk, trot and canter based on subtle shifts in my stance and tone of voice. Our fictitious “one ear, two ear” method of communication was replaced by a true connection. Over the next couple years, my bedroom walls became lined with ribbons. Ammy and I even won the occasional trophy. Our quick rise to success piqued the interest of the show’s longtime attendees. They’d often ask about Ammy’s age, not believing how good she looked for seventeen. Then she started to limp. ••• Ammy was diagnosed with navicular disease. There was no cure, but our vet thought steroid injections would alleviate the pain temporarily. My dad routinely got cortisone shots in his knee to treat an old football injury, and he assured me the injections wouldn’t hurt Ammy too much. After the first one, her limp seemed to vanish. Unfortunately, it only took a few days for her left leg to begin to swell. The following summer, while Ingrid and Connie continued to train at more advanced levels, I walked Ammy in slow circles around the arena. In addition to the shots, our farrier installed silicone pads under the metal shoes on Ammy’s front hooves. My dad called them her “high heels.” They helped, but only at a walk. Taking lessons from Susan didn’t seem to make sense anymore, and eventually cleaning stalls for four dollars an hour didn’t either. Without a firm schedule binding us together, my friendship with Ingrid dissolved. As the season came to a close, we decided to move Ammy to a more affordable barn closer to our house. I led Ammy past the stalls for the last time and bid farewell to every single horse. When we got to Connie, Ammy let out several quiet whinnies, her anxiety clearly intensifying as the distance between them grew. I didn’t blame her. Ever since we left Massachusetts, I dreaded goodbyes. They felt messy and permanent, and even though I knew her new home was only a few miles away, I assumed the ache was the same. ••• The more complicated Ammy’s illness became, the more I yearned for the simplicity of typical teenage drama. Heading into ninth grade, I finally had a good group of friends at school. They weren’t interested in steroids and custom horseshoes. They wanted to talk about boys and eyeshadow. There was a part of me that wanted to discuss those things too, though I wouldn’t have admitted it back then. I couldn’t bear the thought that maybe horses were only a phase after all, especially when Ammy needed me most. I was certain these emerging desires meant I was selfish and uncaring, an increasingly common conclusion at that point in my life. All those years spent hiding my imperfections had allowed a negative internal monologue to flourish unchecked. I just knew I was inexplicably rotten and that it was my job to fix it. I learned to act happy when I felt sad, say please when I meant no, and always smile rather than sulk. This pretending made it impossible to truly know who I was. I simply knew that I felt bad. I felt bad I didn’t visit Ammy more at her new stable. I felt bad she was hurting, and worse I didn’t know how to help. I felt bad her vet bills cost my parents so much money. I felt bad I wanted to leave and return to the East Coast for college. I felt bad I got an A- in AP physics. I felt bad my husky Wranglers were now too tight. I felt bad, about everything.

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I quickly latched onto the only issue I could control—my body size. Losing weight became my answer to everything. The steps were simple. Eat less. Exercise more. Repeat. Despite this growing preoccupation with weight, I did manage to get accepted to a liberal arts school in New York. It was a relief when my dad came up with a plan for Ammy’s future, so I didn’t have to. His cousin owned horses in Texas and said Ammy could stay with her while I was away. Although I worried she might not buy Ammy the right shoes and medication, I didn’t focus on it for long. I was too busy calculating if that scoop of peanut butter I had just eaten was closer to one tablespoon or two. Of all the important moments in my life, I hate that watching Ammy leave for Texas is the one I can’t recall. I tell myself this void of memory stems from hurting too much, not caring too little. I hope I’ll remember it someday. ••• It turned out it would take just over one semester for my compulsive dieting to morph into a full-fledged eating disorder, and five years to reach some semblance of recovery. By that point, I had moved back to Colorado. My weight was stable and I appeared to be a healthy young woman. I even had a boyfriend. When my therapist had asked me to follow a prescriptive meal plan, I did. When she’d suggested I limit my daily runs to a few jogs per week, I did that too. It was following her more abstract advice that was proving more difficult. What did being kind to yourself even mean? For the time being, I stuck to her concrete instructions, like incorporating desserts back into my life. I was making brownies when my cell phone rang. “Hello?” I said. “Hi. This is Tiffany, the lady who took your old horse.” Tiffany’s voice sounded younger than I had imagined. Ammy only lived in Texas for a couple years, before my dad’s cousin sent her back in the middle of a difficult divorce. When we got the news, I was still too lost in my eating disorder to be of much use, and my dad made a plan once again. He had heard a woman was looking for a horse her daughter could take on trail rides, and we agreed it sounded like a perfect fit. “I lost all my money a while ago and had to give her away,” Tiffany explained. “But I just moved my other horses to a new place, and I

couldn't believe it, but Ammy’s there.” It had been a long time since I heard someone say Ammy’s name out loud. I talked about her occasionally in therapy, but always in distant terms as “the horse I used to own.” I repeated her name in my head. Ammy. Ammy. Ammy. ••• My boyfriend and I waited with my parents in a grocery store parking lot. A slim woman with bleach blonde hair and teal eyeliner stepped out of a shiny sports car. “That’s Tiffany,” my dad whispered. I thought it was odd for someone who was broke to drive such a nice car, and then quickly scolded myself for being so judgmental. I hopped in the passenger side and Tiffany drove us into the foothills, with my parents and boyfriend following close behind. I was grateful the loud engine erased the need for small talk. I was torn between wanting to yell at Tiffany for letting Ammy go and wanting to thank her for taking care of Ammy when I couldn’t. She let her foot off the gas as we turned on a dirt road. “You need to be ready,” Tiffany said. “She’s a lot older than when you last saw her.” We pulled up to a rundown stable. There weren’t any pastures or arenas, just a few muddy paddocks with slanted roofs. Several chestnut geldings stood crowded together in one pen. In another, I saw a boney mare facing the fence. The horse’s hind legs were stained with manure and her hooves were split and overgrown. “There she is,” Tiffany said. I looked at the horse’s ribs, plainly visible through her patchy gray coat. “That’s Am Bam?” my mom asked. My dad grabbed my shoulder. I got closer and saw the brown speckles in her green eyes. It was her. She must have lost over five hundred pounds since I’d last seen her. It was a thinness I could not admire. “Hi, Becky!” Tiffany said to a woman walking my way in flip flops. “So you know Ammy?” Becky asked, mispronouncing the “a” like a short “o.” “Yeah, I used to be her owner.” I looked at the goop gathered in the corners of Ammy’s eyes. “Something’s wrong with her. She limps

and has diarrhea constantly. Nobody told me any of that stuff when I got her,” Becky complained. I held out my hand and Ammy searched it for food. I wondered if she remembered me. “It’s looking like I’ll have to put her down soon. I can save you some of her tail if you want,” Becky offered. “Thanks,” I said, trying to hide my devastation. Ammy shifted her weight from one swollen leg to the other. I surprised my parents by hurrying back to the car. My days of religion were long behind me, but I was positive that Ammy had been brought back into my life for a reason. I was getting a second chance to be her savior, and there was no time to waste. I filed complaints with the humane society and called every horse rescue I could find. Since Ammy had access to water and shelter, I learned there was little anyone could do. I asked, and then begged, Becky to sell Ammy back to me, but she rejected every offer. Our communication ceased entirely when she figured out I was the one who involved the humane society. In the midst of manically brainstorming next steps, a text popped up on my phone. “Becky put Ammy down :(,” it read. My mind raced for another solution. This could not be how our love story ended. I got an idea. Eat less. Exercise more. Repeat. I entered back into the world of hunger pangs and sore muscles. Every morning, I went on long runs and tried as hard as I could not to think about my dead horse. Of course it didn’t work. I kept imagining burying my face in Ammy’s golden coat. Throughout college, whenever I had passed the desserts in the dining hall I’d held my breath, convinced that smelling freshly baked goods meant I was consuming extra calories. Now, I longed for Ammy’s sugary, sweet scent—calories be damned. It took Ammy’s passing for me to finally accept that restriction did not cure, it merely numbed. For what felt like the zillionth time, I threw away my scale and welcomed carbohydrates back into my cupboards. ••• A few years ago, I decided to hold a memorial service for Ammy. I harvested several of her hairs from an old saddle pad and gathered with my parents and boyfriend by the river

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260 Phalanx Road Colts Neck, NJ 07722 • Visit us online at www.hemlockhillfarmnj.com where we once swam. I dumped the hairs in a metal bowl and lit them on fire with a match. As they burned, we took turns voicing our grief. Sensing my nerves, my boyfriend volunteered to go first. He talked about how happy he was that he got to meet Ammy, and joked that he knew I would never love him quite as much as I loved my first horse. My dad and I smiled—we knew he was partly right. After, my mom told Ammy’s spirit how much she meant to us. “You made our lives so much more special,” she said. My dad took a breath to steady himself. “Am Bam. Thank you so much for everything you gave our family. Those horse show days are some of my favorite memories.” I wondered if the same moments that flashed through my mind, flashed through his— singing country songs together on our way to Greeley, sharing cold cans of Diet Coke in the summer sun, and him smiling in the bleachers precisely the same way, whether I placed first or last. “Just, thank you,” he said. He looked at me with tears in his eyes, signaling that he had said all he could. My turn. Time to confess my sins. Between sobs, I told Ammy that I never should have

let her go and that I hoped Becky wasn’t as bad as she seemed. I swore that she deserved better and that I loved her. “I’m just so sorry, Ammy,” I said. “I’m so, so sorry.” I sprinkled Ammy’s ashes on the river. As they drifted away, I pictured her healthy, strong legs slicing through the water. For a moment, I felt like a fool for admitting my mistakes outloud. Then I recalled my therapist’s counsel to counter my self-doubt with kindness. In the past, I had used threats and pain to demand unrealistic results—the same methods employed by Ammy’s old trainer. It was a frightening and ineffective way to live. Maybe I had been wrong. Maybe strength and vulnerability weren’t contradictory traits after all. Maybe one needed the other. Maybe that’s where the magic comes from. Over the next few months, I would learn to pamper myself in simple ways. I went on slow walks instead of runs. I baked endlessly until I discovered my favorite cookies were oatmeal chocolate chip with walnuts. I cried in public and ran to my fiercest friends. I let myself apologize. Looking back, I can see that caring for Ammy had taught me how to enact kindness long ago.

When we got back to the car, my dad pulled me in for a hug. He smelled like classic Old Spice, the same deodorant he had worn since I was a kid. I inhaled deeply. While I wasn’t comfortable with all the gooey language yet, I was beginning to see that I didn’t have to carry my pain alone. I knew the ceremony didn’t technically fix anything. Ammy was still hurting and hungry for years. I still wasn’t there when I should have been. Yet, next to my pain, there were inklings of forgiveness and gratitude. For a split second, my love was big enough to hold all of my feelings at once. Carolyn Getches is a writer and filmmaker who currently splits her time between the deserts of California and New Mexico. * SOME NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED TO PROTECT THE PRIVACY OF INDIVIDUALS.

The inaugural $2500 Equestrian Voices Creative Writing Contest celebrated stories written by and for horse lovers from all over the world. We were inundated with amazing narratives about triumph, loss and the deep emotional experience that is being with an amazing horse. To learn more about the 2019 contest, visit theplaidhorse.com/write.

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HITS Thermal Week V, AON HITS Desert Horse Park, Thermal, CA, February 23, 2019. 1. Cassio Rivetti onboard Edita. 2 & 3. Chandler Meadows onboard D. Cancarra A.C. 4. Laura Hite onboard Calypso VD Zuuthoeve. PHOTOS © TREENA HALL.

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Just Fur Fun and JustWorld International Partner With New Product Line Just Fur Fun, the brainchild of Mona Straub (Pet Age 2019 Women of Influence Award winner), is entering into a partnership with the education non-profit JustWorld International. For all of 2019, JustWorld International will receive 50% of the retail proceeds from the special JustWorld line offered by Just Fur Fun, which sells American made beaded leather goods, including leashes, collars, browbands, belts, bracelets spurs, and spur straps. Their products stand out for quality and design.

In this partnership, the JustWorld line will feature products with the JustWorld International colors: purple, blue, and white. “The colors look gorgeous together,” Straub says. “It’s a beautiful line.” Straub is pleased to be working with this charity. “I’m so honored to be an official supporter of JustWorld International,” she says. “Their connections to the equestrian community are wonderful, and it is so important to me to give back. You can’t get anywhere in life if you don’t give back to others.” Ariana Coniglio, Development Manager for JustWorld International, is also thrilled with the pairing. “We’re really excited to partner with Mona,” she says. “Her involvement with the equestrian community shows that there are so many ways to contribute. She’s using her time and talent to transform her passion into a way to give back to our programs.” JustWorld International is a not-for-profit organization that transforms the lives of children in impoverished communities around the world by funding education and nutrition programs. Since inception in 2003, JustWorld has given a unique opportunity for equestrians and individuals alike to join together to contribute to a global campaign against poverty. JustWorld and its network currently support more than 7,000 children internationally. To learn more about JustWorld International and how you can support them, go to justworldinternational.org. And to find the JustWorld line of products, go to justfurfunonline.com.

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Diane Carney – Are You Contributing to Our Sport?

BY BRENDA MUELLER

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Diane Carney is a lifelong, dedicated horsewoman, who emphasizes horsemanship in every aspect of her world. Her versatility in the equestrian sport as an athlete, trainer, judge, commentator and clinician, gives her a well-rounded perspective on the industry. Carney knows where the sport has been, where it’s going and how to improve by honoring timetested basics. “It’s important for riders and professionals to look at the bigger picture of the sport and their role in it,” said Carney. “The future of the sport is in the hands of those coming up the ranks and there are numerous ways to make a difference.” The leadership within the sport must always seek ways to respect history and traditions while implementing new ideas. The core value of our sport is horsemanship, and by blending the past and the present we can create new ideas that improve every aspect of it.

Start with Horsemanship First and foremost, everyone can start by taking a look at his or her own horsemanship, no matter what the level. Carney herself successfully trains riders at all levels from entry level to national and international grand prix, with impressive personal and client victories on her resume. Carney knows that horsemanship goes beyond what riders accomplish in the ring and that top horsemen spend twice as much time in the barn as in the saddle to really know the horse. Taking time to brush and bathe a horse gives you time to put your hands and eyes on them to see and feel any swelling or soreness. Knowing your horse in the stall and in the paddock helps you learn more about their personality and fitness, which is what Carney calls horse IQ, which can only help the bond when you are in the tack trail riding or competing. “I know some of the younger professionals will laugh when we say this but, when we were kids, you couldn’t get us to go home from the stable! We were always under foot, cleaning, brushing, riding bareback, we rode western in the morning and jumped in the afternoon. We fed them, we stacked hay, we did everything, which helped us learn every aspect of the horse. One of my favorite recollections was spending hours and hours with Dr. Marvin Beeman, one of the greatest veterinarians in the country. I wasn’t sure what I was learning at the time, but years later, the information has been invaluable,” said Carney.

Every rider at every level can learn something in the barn. Watch the vet, ask questions, watch the farrier, ask questions, watch the schooling ring at the International ring, watch how the FEI grooms put caulks in and see what size, watch Beezie Madden flat a horse. There is so much you can learn without ever getting on a horse. Read books, look at old photos and in this day and age we have video, the opportunity to watch videos helps us critique our own riding and our clients. We can watch competitions with course designers that will be our course designers and find videos on any topic: braiding, riding, jumping, lunging; it is all readily available on your phone in your hip pocket. Why do all this? Because it is not good enough to just be a good rider, you must upgrade your horse IQ. Riders need to improve the care of their horses, enhance their performance and boost the overall standards for the future of our sport.

How Dynamic is Your Riding? Next, riders can improve abilities by changing it up, at any level of riding. What does Carney mean by that? If you always ride in the ring, go ride in the field, take a dressage lesson, ride a cutting or reigning horse or take a polo lesson. It is important to gain experience and appreciation for all disciplines and how they relate to being a good horseman. “I remember it to this day, I was probably 8 years old, we rounded up cattle on a cattle ranch. We had to figure out how to steer, how to stay on while the horses were cutting the cattle, and we rode all day long. It was a great experience,” said Carney. “Everything you do on a horse or around a horse makes you a better rider. “You cannot learn everything there is to learn about riding in a show ring,” explained Carney. “Getting experience and feeling what it is like riding up hills and down hills, on grass and in sand, crossing a stream, galloping and pushing yourself outside the comfort zone is what it’s about. Many riders who have ridden with George Morris will hear the echo of his voice saying, ‘practice your courage.’ “I have a .80m rider in Wellington and we ride courses over cavalettis in the field to strengthen her decision making and boost her confidence. That’s practicing courage for that rider,” added Carney. We should strive to make our horses the best and our riders the most competitive.

Education What are you doing when you are not showing? Taking time for education is important and a great way to work on specific skills that you can then take back to the show ring. Carney commented, “I coordinate many different kinds of clinics, which are excellent for education. The USHJA Gold Star Clinics, part of the U.S. Show Jumping Athlete Pathway,

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are an example of riding skills mixed with education from young horse breeders, farriers, veterinarians, and media, presented by nationally renowned professionals. They are an excellent opportunity for riders to not only learn more, but to make connections that can help them in the future. “In Chicago, we’ve held the George H. Morris Clinic on Thanksgiving weekend for over 35 years now. Rush Weeden’s Brookwood Farm hosts the clinic and has been involved for many of those years. People of all disciplines come to watch George teach and ride. Professionals as well as junior and amateur riders take advantage of the opportunity to ride and push themselves a bit out of their comfort zone to improve. You must allow time in your schedule for these opportunities to expand your own knowledge and abilities.” The Chicago area also hosts several excellent educational events such as the Benchmark International Sale Horse Showcase and Jumper Derby in early June and the Galway Farm Equitation Classic and Hunter Derby in September. Both events include clinic days and offer an actual show day with commentary by Carney as the USEF Official, where riders can practice the skills they worked on during the clinic. The onthe-spot review has helped many of the riders make their fall finals and championships more competitive.

Observe As a licensed official you observe the sport from the entry level to the top levels. What Carney sees at the top of our sport is classical riding. There are times riders and judges start to drift away from the classical values and let, for example, posting at the canter or rotating a release in equitation, become insignificant faults. These are indications of intermediate riding and not advanced skills. Watch and learn from those who are at the top of the sport. Carney’s judging resume includes the 2016 ASPCA Maclay Medal Finals, the New England Equitation Championships, WEF, HITS Thermal, Bend Oregon, Blenheim CA, Flintridge and Sonoma, CA; LA Masters, Kentucky Summer, The Ridge at Wellington, the Sunshine Series USHJA $100,000 Hunter Prix, HITS $500,000 Hunter Prix, AON/USHJA National Championship - Las Vegas, IEA, IHSA and the USEF Pony Finals. “During the ASPCA Maclay Finals that I judged, the class divided itself into thirds. The top third had advanced horse IQ and good to excellent contact. The other two thirds of the class needed to work more on those skills. When I talk about contact, I’m not just talking about going straight and counting; I’m talking about on a curve, lengthening and shortening. I think the course in 2016 asked those questions.”

Observe other riders and practice with rails on the ground up to the size of the jumps you are jumping. An example would be to pick any class McLain Ward wins and figure out how he won. Was it because he made tight turns or was it because he had a big stride? Pay attention and apply your observations to your riding. Figure out how to be more competitive by watching the top of the sport.

Giving back Everyone can improve the sport by getting involved. In 2018, Diane was honored with the Peter Wells Family Trophy at the National Horse Show in Kentucky for her service to the equestrian industry. Carney was significantly instrumental in the development of the hunter derbies, leading to the reinvention of hunters and is currently supporting the U.S. Show Jumping Athlete Pathway and a member of the USEF International Disciplines Committee. Carney, along with Zone 5 members, established the USHJA Zone 5 College Scholarship, which has awarded over $100,000 in scholarship money to date. Dedicated to giving back to the sport, Carney is the Vice-Chairperson of the USHJA Zone 5 Committee and a member of the USHJA Emerging Jumper Rider Task Force. Carney also was Chairperson of the USHJA Special Projects Committee and participated in the Junior Hunter Task Force and the High Performance Hunter (Hunter Derby) Committees for several years as well as serving on the USHJA Board of Directors.

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“With age and experience comes responsibility to the future of our sport. Find some part of our sport that you want to do something about and do it locally if not nationally. I think a good example of that is what World Equestrian Center does with their cadet program. If you don’t know what it is, check into it and get involved,” said Carney. Because of her ability to build consensus, to get the job done, and for her display of outstanding horsemanship and dedication, Carney was named the Illinois Hunter Jumper Association (IHJA) Horseperson of the Year in 2008 and was honored in 2017 as the USHJA Zone 5 Horseperson of the Year. In 2005, 2015 and 2017, Carney was presented the USHJA President’s Distinguished Service Award. Carney has dedicated her life to the equestrian sport and works to promote growth and improvements within the industry. “I am grateful for the life I have due to the horses and to this day, I am always a student,” summarized Carney. Carney’s parting words for riders and trainers, “In whatever you do, go forward.”

◼

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: BRENDA MUELLER, WEST PALM BEACH, FLORIDA, IS THE PRESIDENT AND OWNER OF MARKETING4EQUESTRIANS/CHICAGOEQUESTRIAN. SHE IS CURRENTLY CONDUCTING THE MEDIA TRAINING FOR ALL OF THE USHJA GOLD STAR CLINICS. MUELLER WAS A PROFESSIONAL TRAINER AND RIDER FOR OVER 35 YEARS BEFORE TURNING HER INTERESTS TO EQUESTRIAN MEDIA.

For more information on Diane Carney, visit www.telluridefarm.com. For more information on the World Equestrian Center Cadet Program, visit their website at www.worldequestriancenter.com. For more information on the Benchmark International Sale Horse Showcase and Jumper Derby, see www.benchmarkstables.com. To learn more about the Galway Classic, visit www.galwayfarm.com. For George Morris schedule, see www.ghmclinicsinc.com. PHOTOS COURTESY MARKETING4EQUESTRIANS. SPECIAL THANKS TO GLORY DAYS FARM/BROOKWOOD FARM FOR THE GORGEOUS LOCATION AND GINNY BARTHOLOMAY FOR CASSANOVA 30.

68 â&#x20AC;¢ THE PLAID HORSE 1.

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Pin Oak Charity Horse Show, Great Southwest Equestrian Center, Katy, TX, March 20th, 2019. 1. Dante ridden by Briley Koerner in the 1.35m Open Jumpers, owned by BKS Horse Farms, LLC. 2. Alisto ridden by Courtney Lenkart in the 3’6 Greens, owned by Lori Mathews. 3. Deluxe ridden by Courtney Lenkart in the 3’3 Greens, owned by Wesley Clingman. 4. Infinite Shine & Liza Richardson. Reserve Best Young Horse, owned by Olde Oaks Farm, Inc. 5. Will Emblazon. Best Young Horse owned and shown by Rachelle Goebel. 6. SWS All In ridden by Jessica Law in the 3’6 Greens, owned by Steve Weder. 7. Lightful ridden by Courtney Lenkart in the 3’3 Performance, owned by La Primera Hacienda, LP. PHOTOS © ANDREW RYBACK PHOTOGRAPHY.

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Drugs and Addiction in the Horse World: A Conversation with Andrew Ellis by Lauren Mauldin Lifelong equestrian and east coast native Andrew Ellis wears many hats within the hunter/jumper industry. Rider, horse show manager, announcer, USEF Safety Committee member, certified EMT. But he also has another label that we don’t talk about as much in our community— recovering addict.

This is when TLC’s Dr. Nowzarden would send you to therapy. If I had known better, I would have immersed myself in psychological care at that point. I lost a lot of weight, but there was this insatiable appetite for something that I didn’t understand. The doctor shut off my ability to use food, but something was taken from me that was left unfulfilled.

Andrew and I both share a passion for educating the public about opioid addiction. He has personal experience overcoming physical and mental dependence on drugs, and after losing my husband to an opioid addiction in 2015, I unfortunately have first-hand experience about the tragedy that comes from addiction.

So you looked for it elsewhere. Growing up in the horse world was an easy environment for parties. There was a lot of casual drugs in the late ‘80s and ‘90s, and an acceptance for that behavior. After my surgery, I found that drinking gave me a new feeling. I absorbed it differently. Drinking a lot of vodka and scotch, I found it quenched that psychological need the weight loss surgery left me yearning for.

We took some time to chat about addiction, recovery and how we can tackle these important issues within our shared space in the horse world.

A new way to self-medicate. Maybe there was an insecurity that I needed to fill. I’m not sure if I was born with it, but I’ve always had this yearning. When I was high or intoxicated, the anxiety around that feeling was gone. Alcohol initially filled it.

LAUREN MAULDIN: You’re not shy about your history with substance abuse. ANDREW ELLIS: I have an addictive mind. I think some people have that chemistry, and are more prone to addiction, especially opiates, because of how they’re wired. My first problem actually started when I was a teenager, with food.

When did you start using opiates? In a ten-year period, I had 14 different surgeries due to my hips and prior accident. After each surgery, I was put on heavy opiate painkillers. They’ve done tests on addicts, and they show that opiates light up a certain area of our brain.

Before drugs and alcohol? I was overweight growing up, but had a riding accident when I was thirteen and spent six weeks in the hospital. My leg was fractured, and I was stuck in a traction device with a lot of pain. The nurses would bring me ice cream and things, and there was a comfort in the food.

The mid-brain. It tricks your body into thinking that the drug is essential. That you need it as badly as you need any other primal resource.

A way to cope with that rotten luck. It was really a turning point for my weight. Food became my crutch, and I blossomed up to 480 pounds when I was in my 20’s. So in 1999, I had gastric bypass surgery, but didn’t address the psychological component about why I was addicted to food.

TOP: SOBER AND FINDING JOY IN LIFE AGAIN; PHOTO © SEAN REILLY. CENTER: CATHERINE & ANDREW. BOTTOM: ANDREW IN 1993 BEFORE HIS WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY.

The opiates the doctors prescribed were a bridge from one surgery to the next. It went on and on in this vicious, out of control cycle. Was it hard to get your prescription filled? It was easier than I thought it’d be until about 2010 when people became aware of the opioid epidemic. Doctors got wiser, so

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I started searching for non-conventional ways to get pills. Asking a friend, buying off the street, even looking through my parent’s cabinets to steal Percocet. Finding that relief however you could manage. You do whatever you can. I’ll say 80% of my drugs were obtained legally from doctors, but I was able to manipulate the system to feed my addiction. I remember getting Xanax from a psychiatrist and lying, saying “Oh my life is a mess, I have all of this anxiety” when what really happened was I ran out of my opiates for the month and I was frantic trying to get something to replace that high. You were afraid of withdrawal? There’s nothing more frustrating, disgusting and horrifying than withdrawing from opiates. It’s one of the most scary, helpless feelings you can have. Not only is your mind going crazy, but your body is so physically addicted. If I ran out of opiates, I would run home and chug two bottles of wine because I knew I would start withdrawing. Alcohol would mask or cover up some of those feelings. That sounds really scary. I believe to get better, you have to hit your bottom. There were times when I was driving around looking for the guy I bought drugs from that I thought it’d be a lot easier and less painful if I drove off a bridge. I just wanted to end my life, because I couldn’t find the drugs to make those feelings go away. It’s like you’re in a private hell. A private hell you don’t know how to get out of. I was so physically sick from the drugs. There were times I passed out drinking after taking opiates and Xanax. I woke up heaving and retching. Sometimes I wonder why I didn’t die, because I easily could have. Was that when you realized you were an addict? All I knew was that my life was spiraling in many ways because of my drug use. My

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72 • THE PLAID HORSE

because many people have an economic support system to sustain addiction longer than the average Joe. Partying is okay, and the bottom doesn’t come as fast when you have the financial resources. Wealth can hide a lot sometimes. I wouldn’t say there’s an industry wide problem where the horse show staff, trainers or grooms are sharing drugs, but the opportunity is there. I could go work a new horse show, and it would take me half a day to identify someone I thought might be a fellow addict. I would ask them if they had a source for what I was looking for, and a lot of that time it would materialize. People on the horse show staff, tractor drivers, jump crew, announcers, even judges. I have been approached by people asking for pills, and asked for pills myself, but it’s like that in other aspects of life too. It’s not just the horse world. No, this problem certainly isn’t limited to our industry, but our environment is no better or less protected than any other area. SOBRIETY MADE HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS POSSIBLE. ANDREW AND CATHERINE ELLIS

personal life was a mess. My relationships were a mess. I had an awareness that my life had been taken over by opiates, but getting to the point where I could say that I was an addict didn’t happen until my first day of recovery. And what got you through the doors of a treatment center? Everyone knew my life had become unmanageable. I was working a horse show in Texas when my family talked to a close friend. He told me that he thought I had a problem, and offered to get me help. At that moment, I just caved in. I was tired of the battle. I knew I was destroying my career and my life. He got me a bed in a treatment center in North Carolina. I went out for my last drink ever Sunday night in Texas, and flew home for treatment the next day. The first day of the rest of your life, if I’m allowed to be cliché. When I went to rehab, I didn’t think, Oh gosh! I can’t wait to be sober. I just wanted

the battle to be over. I didn’t want to be held hostage by those drugs anymore. But it saved my life. It’s not easy to go through that process. The biggest thing I did when I got sober was deciding to be honest with everyone involved in my health care. It’s so tough because there are doctors who will write prescriptions. It’s a tough, complex animal. Was it hard to hide the worst of your addiction while working in the horse industry? Those of us who work professionally in the industry don’t have an office 9-5 where we see the same people every day. For me, it was very easy to maintain my addiction in that environment because I was always going different places and seeing different people. Plus there is a socio-economic component. High-class drugs for high-class parties? I don’t want to single out the horse world, but drugs and alcohol can flourish in it

I do believe the horse show world is more accepting and tolerant of drinking and drugs. I’m not sure why. I mean, I don’t do drugs but I drink, and I often joke about how I’m a weenie adult amateur who needs a glass of Chardonnay to make it through the handy round. Am I part of the problem? I think it’s a good thing for you to be aware of. We all play a role in everyone’s lives, but the only person responsible for my addiction is myself. At the end of the day, doctors make mistakes but I made the choice to do the drugs that I did. I’m the responsible party, no matter how many glasses of wine you need to make it through the derby. Not going to lie… I’m a little relieved to hear you say that! As an addict, what bothers me is seeing people drink at the in-gate or the warm-up area. I believe we have to accept that alcohol is part of our modern American society in social settings. At horse show parties I don’t think it’s out of line for people to

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have a good time and drink responsibly. They’re certainly allowed to. What bothers me is when I’m working the in-gate, and somebody leaves a solo cup on my table that is full of red wine I can clearly smell.

could cause a problem, but society doesn’t ask everyone who gets behind the wheel of a car to blow into a breathalyzer—just those who have a previous infraction.

All of a sudden it’s not your decision to be around it.

What would you say to someone who is reading this right now, and wondering if they have a problem?

I have several big parties at the horse shows I manage with alcohol, bands and all sorts of fun. I make an appearance to make sure everything is running properly, but then I slip out because there’s no reason for me to be around all that drinking. But I have to go to my in-gate. Please don’t bring alcohol into my workspace.

Well you say to me, “Andrew, I like a glass of wine before I go in to the derby,” and to find out if you are dependent on it I’d ask yourself. Can you go one, two, three days without it? Ask yourself how you feel, and if you can do it. A lot of people won’t say I’m an alcoholic, but if you ask them if they can go a week without drinking, they can’t.

That’s a really good point. I’ve never thought about it like that. Two years ago we were doing a junior medal final at the coliseum, and I had to kick several people out of the actual arena floor because they had beer in their hand. I kept saying, Please don’t have bottles or glass or beer down here, especially during a kid’s class. So now I put smoking and alcohol regulations in my prize lists. How did people respond to that? A lot of people gave it a thumb’s up. You would think that I wouldn’t have to put something like that in a program, but I have to based on what I’ve seen. You’ve mentioned before that riding a horse under the influence can be just as dangerous as drunk driving, which makes me think of a rather extreme question: should we be giving riders sobriety tests? That’s a really tough topic. When I was on the USEF board years ago, an event rider brought up that we should be drug-testing riders if we’re drug-testing horses. I think in principal, sure, but it’s not easy. The logistics and the expense are huge, and you get into areas where people have legal, legitimate needs for medication. It opens so many doors to private medical issues, and other things. Too big of a beast to tackle. My thought is to do a more educational approach. I do believe that 95% of the people are riding sober, and have the right intentions. There’s probably 2-5% that ride on various drugs and alcohol where it

I think people trying to figure out if they’re an addict have to look at their own life and the chaos of how that substance affects it. If your life is unmanageable where you are stealing, being dishonest, lying to friends and family, using illicit drugs in private and hiding it from people—that sounds chaotic. It’s like trying to look down at your life from the outside. You have to ask yourself: Is your life unmanageable due to a substance? Do you have the physical or mental ability to function without it? Can you perform basic, day-to-day living without being high? I think that most people in active, hardcore addiction have a pretty good awareness that they have a problem. It’s getting to that first step of admitting it. Unfortunately, sometimes it takes bad circumstances to get you to admit that. I hope conversations like this help someone before they get to those bad circumstances. The biggest thing is to save yourself before it’s too late. Ask a friend to help, go to a meeting. There's no choice for us. Getting help is the only way to save our lives and protect our loved ones from a lot of grief. ◼ Andrew Ellis and his wife Catherine operate Haven Hill Farm in Warrenton, Virginia where they specialize in sales and development of young hunters. Andrew manages and officiates at over 40 equestrian events annually. After a serious riding accident as a child, he developed a severe opioid addiction after many surgeries. He now spends his spare time speaking out and working with opiate addicts.

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Handling Barn Drama: Protecting Your Happy Place By Jess Clawson

Barn drama is as prominent as barns themselves. It happens everywhere… even if you’re the only boarder. “Did you hear what so-and-so did?” I say to my horses as they kick their stall doors to ask for more hay.

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But juicy gossip isn’t always harmless fun. In fact, it can really hurt people. This sport is hard enough, with myriad reasons for us to feel bad about ourselves at any given time. Missed a distance in a big class. Can’t afford the newest helmet. Didn’t import our horse. Don’t like how we look in breeches. Not as brave as we want to be. So what happens when someone spreads a rumor about us? Or when we constantly feel like people are talking behind our backs? What do you do when a little barn drama turns into a full blown Mean Girls moment? What to Do If Someone Else is the Target If the barn gossip squad maliciously targets someone you know, empathy largely solves the problem. When a barn buddy sidles up to you with the latest salacious news about someone, resist the temptation to participate. Instead, think about how you’d feel in their shoes. Probably not great! Most of the time, people spread gossip because they like the validation and attention they get from being the one to spread the news. By refusing to give them that validation, they will stop seeing you as someone they can go to. Instead of participating in hateful gossip, here are some things you can do or say instead: • Tell them you like the person they’re speaking of, and you’re not interested in talking about them behind their back. • Say, “Why are you telling me this?” • Or, “That sounds like something you should take up with them instead.” • Or, “Do they know you’re telling people about this? It sounds like it might be personal.” Talking maliciously about someone behind their back can hurt their reputation unjustly and cause enormous personal stress, but barn drama isn’t always limited to words. Messing with someone’s stuff, creating inconveniences for them out of rudeness, being

78 • THE PLAID HORSE socially exclusive, or—in my mind the worst case scenario—taking out their negative feelings on that person’s horse are all examples of malevolent barn behavior. If you see something malicious going on, you have a responsibility to act on behalf of the person being harmed. Keeping your head down and staying out of it is complicity. Alert the barn manager (or your own parents if you’re a minor). If it makes sense and is safe to do so, let the person know what they’re doing is not right. No matter how “cool” these gossipers may seem, it’s not worth damaging your own integrity to be in “The Plastics.”

What to Do if You’re the Target It’s incredibly hard to be on the receiving end of a barn drama attack, but try to remember that you deserve to be treated with respect at all times. Sometimes people just don’t like each other, and that’s okay. But regardless of whether you rub someone the wrong way just by being yourself, they should not be gossiping about you or instigating drama meant to bring you down. When I was a kid, I was bullied a lot. I was shy and weird and awkward and nerdy. I’ve turned out great ( joke’s on the haters!) but it was HARD. I remember adults telling me two things about bullying: “He’s only picking on you because he likes you,” or “Ignore them and they’ll stop.” Both of these sentiments are wrong. Being mean to someone is not loving, and ignoring the bullies often does not make them stop. I wish I knew this when I was kid, because I would have accepted a lot less abuse.

Here’s what does work, according to a variety of experts: Know you’re better than that. Confidence really is magical, and it is totally a fake it til you make it sort of thing. When I was in high school, I saw some students try to start something with a friend of mine. Instead of crumpling like I did when they sent their horribleness my way, she simply said, “Oh no. That is not true. That’s actually pretty stupid.” I was AMAZED at how well it disarmed the bullies. Stamp it out immediately. It’s tempting to let “small” things go when other people are rude, but small things turn into big things quickly sometimes, and toxic people will often test the limits of what a potential victim will take. So let them know immediately what isn’t going to fly with you. If appropriate, you can alert the higher ups. Consider responses like, “That is not an appropriate way to behave towards/speak to me,” or “Did you really say that?”

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Avoid stooping to their level. I want to use all my very best zingers on people when they are rude to me. However, that doesn’t actually make me feel better after the fact. What does is rising above. Not in an ignore-them way, but in an approach-them-directly way. Rather than saying, “Yeah well we all know you haven’t had a clean lead change in six months,” just say, “I sure do love my beautiful horse!” Or smile beatifically in the best southern lady “bless your heart” kind of way and wait ‘til you get to your car to cry. You’re certainly allowed to have feelings, just try not to show them to bullies. One of the hardest parts of being the subject of rumors is the feeling of powerlessness that comes with it. That can trigger stress, depression, and anxiety. Consider ways to handle those feelings, like being kind and compassionate towards yourself, focusing outward or on the bigger picture, taking your horse for a nice long trail ride, or whatever will make you feel more at peace. Remember, too, that rumors always fade with time. The less fact-based they are, the faster they go away. Because here’s the thing: if you’re showing yourself to be a kind person of good character, that is going to be a lot more obvious to people over time than whatever Regina George wrote in her burn book.

What to Do if You’re the One Spreading the Drama Here’s the guilty secret about barn gossip—a lot of us don’t want to admit that we secretly love it. Most, if not all, of us have been involved to least to some degree. There are a lot of reasons why: we want to be part of the in-crowd, the

target of the rumors or bullying is someone we dislike, we are insecure about our own accomplishments, etc. Sometimes we stir the pot because chaos is what we know best. Your life might be chaotic for systemic or institutional reasons beyond your control, but if you find that you are feeling compelled to start or sustain drama, ask yourself whether you might better spend your time and energy focusing on feeling better yourself instead of bringing other people down. If you are in a barn climate that feels like a constant rumor mill and the only way to get along is to go along with it, then I would strongly suggest moving to a different barn. It is not worth your health to stick it out in a place that thrives on our most toxic impulses, because even if you think you’ll avoid the whole drama stew, you might find yourself in it before you realize what you’re doing. Sometimes we all need a reminder to be more empathetic. Spreading rumors or being cruel to another person is hurtful, and those actions have consequences. Victims of this sort of bullying behavior are much more likely to engage in selfharm, suicidal ideation or suicide attempts, or develop eating disorders. Is scratching that drama itch worth putting another person at risk?

Our barns should be our happy place, where we get to spend time with our horses and in the company of other equestrians. We don’t have to like or be friends with everyone else at the barn, but we do need to treat each other with respect. ◼

80 â&#x20AC;¢ THE PLAID HORSE

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theplaidhorse.com • April 2019 • 81

NATIONAL STEEPLECHASE ASSOCIATION THE GOVERNING BODY OF JUMP RACING IN NORTH AMERICA NSA’S 2019 EVENT SCHEDULE March 23, 2019

Aiken Spring

Aiken, SC

March 30, 2019

Carolina Cup

Camden, SC

April 6, 2019

Georgia Steeplechase

Kingston, GA

April 13, 2019

Tryon Block House

Columbus, NC

April 13, 2019

My Lady’s Manor

Monkton, MD

April 20, 2019

Grand National

Butler, MD

April 20, 2019

Middleburg

Middleburg, VA

April 27, 2019

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Charlottesville, VA

April 27, 2019

Maryland Hunt Club

Glyndon, MD

April 27, 2019

Queen’s Cup

Mineral Springs, NC

May 4, 2019

Virginia Gold Cup

The Plains, VA

May 5, 2019

Winterthur

Winterthur, DE

May 11, 2019

Iroquois

Nashville, TN

www.nationalsteeplechase.com

82 • THE PLAID HORSE

Horses

Can’t Be Our Only Therapy I avoided therapy for a long time. Part of it was stubbornness. I come from tough stock. “No pain, no gain” and “Walk it off” were practically hung up as motivational posters in our house. Three days after my husband died, I broached the subject of therapy with my dad. “You don’t need therapy when you have a lot of friends,” he replied. Logically, I knew he was wrong. I knew that my friends and family, an amazing support system, were not a replacement for professional mental health care. But his response validated a little voice growing inside me. One that said I was tough enough to do this all on my own. Later that afternoon, we drove out to the barn. I was desperate to see my horse, Simon. My late husband always joked about him, I’m afraid to ask Lauren if she loves me or the horse more. Of course there was no contest. I certainly loved my husband more, but my horse was all I had left. I spent slow minutes with Simon that afternoon running my fingers over the curves of his muscles, digging my nails in to his favorite itchy spots. My dad snapped a picture, and sent it to family members who were worried about me. He wrote “Horse Therapy” as the caption. And I thought that with my support system and my horse, I could be okay. It was impossible for me to see at the time, but moments like that made me believe that my horse would heal me. He wasn’t just an OTTB hunter/jumper anymore. We added ‘therapist’ to his résumé.

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It’s not a unique perspective in the equestrian industry. Talk to your barn friends or spend any amount of time on social media, and you’ll see that idea spreading through our community. Horses are cheaper than therapy! Heading out to the barn for my mental health. Who needs a counselor when I have my horse? I used to nod my head along with that sentiment. After all, riding is my meditation, my zen. It’s the only time I can completely shut off all the anxiety and inner-problems in my brain, and focus solely on the task at hand. Keeping my horse from dropping his shoulder in the corners. Holding the correct hip angle. Maintaining the proper cadence in our canter. Everything else melts away. For the three years following my husband’s death, horses were my therapy. I threw myself into them. On my worst days, I groomed or went for a bareback walk around the barn. When I needed a distraction from my pain, I signed up for extra lessons and horse shows. My heart hurt too much to deeply look into the loss and trauma I suffered, so I looked at my horse instead. Not going to therapy became a point of pride. When well meaning friends asked if I would consider counseling, I brushed them off. “I’ve gone this long,” I told them. “I’m doing fine.” Then in late December of 2018, my horse died on the table during colic surgery. Again, my world fell apart. The loss felt as primal and damaging as losing my husband. And no, it wasn’t because I loved Simon more (despite his worry). It was because I had so many wounds that hadn’t healed. Losing Simon ripped them all open, and I didn’t have horses anymore to help me push the pain away. The National Alliance on Mental Illness reports that almost 44 million Americans experience mental illness in a given year. That’s 1 in 5 adults, and the horse world isn’t immune to these statistics. Individuals living with untreated mental illness face an increased risk of having chronic medical conditions, and adults living with serious mental illness die an average of 25 years earlier than others1. The conditions that affect them are largely treatable if the individual seeks help to begin with.

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84 • THE PLAID HORSE Simon and riding had been such a crutch for me after my husband died, that I didn’t know how to exist without it. My friends lifted me up like the amazing people they are, but I still found myself alone with dark thoughts. I couldn’t shake the depression. One afternoon lying in bed with my dog pretending to watch TV, I found myself making a plan for her well-being if I decided to harm myself. I decided which friend I would drop her off at, and what I would write. The thought terrified me. So I did the only other thing I knew—get help.

My first therapy appointment was terrible. For the price of a copay, I sobbed in front of a stranger for an hour. I did not feel better when I ran down the list of traumatic things that had happened to me in the last four years. I did not feel better that night when I went to bed, or the next day when I got up and drug myself to campus. But I went back the next week, and the week after. And while there are still moments where I hole

myself up in my apartment and cry about my dead husband and my dead horse, something has shifted within me. I’m starting to feel better. Going to my therapist isn’t as fun as riding a horse. There are no cute barn dogs running around, no blue ribbons to be won. But my horse never told me I’m too critical of myself. Never informed me that there is a middle ground between pretending you don’t have feelings functioning on a high level, and staying in bed all day feeling sorry for yourself while

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eating delivery pizza. My horse never looked me in the eyes and said, “You have a huge degree of strength to keep going, despite the fact that some days you don’t want to be here.” Without going to therapy, I never would have known how much I needed to hear that. Horse people are tough—that’s one of my favorite qualities about us. I don’t want to lose my “hospital or get back on” philosophy. It’s a huge part of who I’ve become today, and I’m better from this upbringing. I’m better from all the hours spent in the barn. But I think it’s time for us to recognize that seeking help is a different kind of tough. It is not an easy thing to walk up to a stranger and describe your worst moments. When you’re used to shrugging things off, it can feel impossible to allow yourself to be vulnerable.

In the grand scheme of the horse world, I’m not brave. Just ask my trainer. I will whine about big oxers. I may never show higher than 3’. Rolltops give me heart palpitations. I’m not the kind of rider who can sit through a buck without melting into a puddle. But, starting therapy was one of the bravest things I’ve ever done. Horses will always be part of my life and my mental health. They offer an experience that can’t be replicated by friends or pills or counselors. However, they are a component, not the foundation, of my overall wellness. Simon was my heart. He was there for me in a way that no animal has ever been. I couldn’t have gotten through losing my husband without his quiet, steady friendship, and I will always be thankful for that. Our time together was a gift.

But he was not my therapist. My next horse can’t be either. For that, I have to keep doing the work and getting help from mental health professionals. Even when it’s less fun, inconvenient and hard. My health will be better for it. And after my therapy session with those tough conversations about childhood, neurosis, and life… I’ll head to the barn. I’ll get my fingers deliciously dirty grooming, and practice canter transitions until my core throbs with a dull ache. And my heart will be happier for it. ◼ BY LAUREN MAULDIN; PHOTOS BY HEATHER N. PHOTOGRAPHY & NICOLE SANNES

1. Colton, C.W. & Manderscheid, R.W. (2006). Congruencies in Increased Mortality Rates, Years of Potential Life Lost, and Causes of Death Among Public Mental Health Clients in Eight States. Preventing Chronic Disease: Public Health Research, Practice and Policy, 3(2), 1–14.

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Homecoming BY SHANNON FOX

HonorableMention, Fiction

2018 THE PLAID HORSE

EQUESTRIAN VOICES CREATIVE WRITING CONTEST

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ormally when Paige put her foot into the stirrup and swung herself into the saddle, she was filled with a feeling of peace, like she had come home again. But not today, or any day since Tuck had died. She reached down and patted Flynn on the neck. He was a good boy, a good horse. He just wasn’t her heart horse. Flynn half turned his head to look back at her, and she scratched his jaw before squeezing his sides to urge him forward into a walk. She needed a long solo trail ride to clear her head after the craziness of work. Also, needed this time to grieve. After Tuck died a month ago, she tried to take the next day off. Just one day to lie in bed and lean into the torrent of her emotions, to the grief that threatened to drown her. But her boss hadn’t understood the aching hole she felt in her chest, how raw the hurt was. “It’s just a horse, Paige,” Mac had told her on the phone. “And we need you here. You know how busy this month is. With the acquisition coming up and then the conference at the end of the month. We need all hands on deck.” Mac was the reason she’d left her phone in her tack trunk today. He’d been texting her day and night, his own anxiety about the coming month spilling over into questions and commands. Every text was punctuated with a friendly “When you get back to the office” but it still did not quell the stomach-churning nerves she felt each time she saw a new text from her boss. As Paige rode Flynn down the long row of pastures towards the gate that led to the open space park beyond, they were greeted with a chorus of nickers and whinnies from the horses who lived at this end of the property. The grooms were still feeding all of the horses and hadn’t made it this far down. Flynn glanced at the other horses with a curious eye, but when she pressed her heels against his sides, his ears swiveled back. She knew he was still paying attention her. As they approached the fence that separated the barn from the land beyond, she felt his muscles tense at the sight of the wide field. This would be the first time she’d dared to take Flynn out into the open space since he’d arrived. A niggling thought tugged at her, a remembrance from horsemanship lessons in her youth—she shouldn’t be riding alone. She was taking a risk by bringing a horse she didn’t know well into an unknown situation without a buddy and without her phone. Paige pushed those thoughts away. It would be

fine. Flynn was seventeen, not some green fouryear-old. Her trainer, Tom, had competed him in some of the largest arenas in the country, under stadium lights and jumbotrons, in front of crowds of hundreds of dressage fans. There was nothing they’d meet on the trail that was scarier than that. And her phone, well, her phone was the source of all her anxiety these days. She’d chuck it in a lake if she could. “You’ll be fine, Paige,” she told herself. Flynn flicked his ears back at her voice before returning his attention to the land unfolding in front of them. It had been a long, hot summer and the green Colorado grass had dried up and turned yellow. She’d heard on the radio as she drove to the barn that they were in for another day of recordbreaking heat. But rather than cancel her trail ride, Paige had stopped at the gas station to buy another bottle of water. This was one of the only weekends she hadn’t had to travel for work since Flynn had died, and she wasn’t going to let the weather stop her from riding. She planned to be back at the barn well before noon anyway. Paige pulled up Flynn in front of the fence. He stood quietly as she leaned down and undid the chain on the gate, his focus still on the bare, golden hills beyond. Her helmet slipped forward as she bent down, briefly obscuring her vision. After Flynn had walked through and she had secured the gate behind them, Paige pushed her helmet back and tightened the chinstrap. She knew she needed to buy a new one, but now that she had Tuck’s emergency bills to pay, it would be awhile before that happened. After twenty minutes of riding with the sun at her back, they found the entrance to the ravine. As Paige nudged Flynn towards the narrow rock walls, she felt gooseflesh prickle the back of her neck. She always did when she entered this place. Growing up in the area, Paige had often heard a rumor that the land the barn sat on was haunted. That it had once been a sacred burial ground, and that’s why the open space around it stayed natural rather than a neighborhood of homes. Paige didn’t really believe that. She didn’t believe in ghosts, sacred or otherwise. But she couldn’t deny the creeping feeling that always came over her when she rode into this canyon. “Probably in my head,” she said to Flynn. She patted the big bay on the neck. He didn’t react to her touch, keeping his ears trained forward on the path ahead. Beneath her, she felt his muscles

tighten further. Rather that moving confidently forward as Tuck would have done, Flynn shied away from the tight entrance to the slot canyon. “Oh, come on,” Paige growled, giving him a thump with her legs. “You’re being silly. There’s nothing to be afraid of.” Flynn hesitated for a moment more before taking tentative steps forward towards the ravine. Once they were fully inside the canyon, Paige felt the temperature drop a few degrees as the rock walls around them blocked the majority of the sun’s rays. In a few hours, the sun would move directly overhead and they would lose the shade, but for now the canyon was relatively cool and peaceful. A rabbit suddenly shot out of the scrubby brush ahead and Flynn slammed to a stop. He lifted his head and snorted loudly. Paige ran her hand through the silky strands of his mane. “You’re fine,” she said. “Just a rabbit.” As if he understood her, Flynn dropped his head and took a cautious step forward. When no more rabbits erupted from the underbrush, she felt him let out a breath and resume his forward pace. She patted Flynn on the neck. She knew he was trying to please her, trying to make her happy. But he wasn’t Tuck, that was for sure. Tears stung her eyes as she finally allowed the memories of Tuck to overwhelm her. A sob escaped from her lips as she remembered that her perfect horse was gone. She’d been blessed to find him at all, let alone to be able to afford him. She’d worked all through college to be able to buy a horse of her own after graduation. With just enough money scraped together, she’d tried horse after horse. Each time she walked away disappointed. Just when she was about to give up and go back to saving, she saw an ad for a young chestnut online. From the moment Paige sat on Tuck, she knew he was the one. Though barely broken to ride, he was incredibly talented already and with the right training, he would be a star. But more than that, he was kind, honest, and brave. Flynn suddenly jerked his head up, startling Paige from her thoughts. A large black bird on the branches of a tree ahead of them flapped its wings and cawed. “Seriously?” Paige said. She felt anger rush through her. “Why do you have to spook at

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everything? Why can’t you just walk forward on your own?” Like Tuck would have. That started the tears all over again. When Tuck had shown the first signs of colic, she’d called Tom who’d been away at a horse show. He stayed on the phone with her until the vet arrived. After she’d made the heart-wrenching decision to end Tuck’s suffering, she’d called Tom again, weeping, to let him know that Tuck was gone. So when Tom had called and offered Flynn, her gut reaction was to snap at him. Didn’t he get it? She didn’t want another horse. She just wanted Tuck back. But at twenty-nine, she knew by now whining would get her nowhere. Tom gave her an amazing gift. He let her lease his schoolmaster for much less than he could have gotten someone else to pay for him. So she swallowed the anger, the hard words that threatened to erupt from her lips, and made plans to bring Flynn over to her barn.

Flynn’s hooves. Reaching into her saddlebag for the water, Paige took a long drink. The day had warmed up considerably and she could feel sweat trickling down her back.

with each beat of her heart. And that was before she moved it. Moving sent a sharp spike of pain rocketing through her body. She had no idea how she’d get back on.

Just as she recapped her water bottle and placed it back in the bag, she heard a clattering noise on the path ahead of them. She lifted her head to see what it was, only to feel Flynn surge forward and launch himself into a buck.

She felt Flynn nudge her in the ribs and she opened her eyes. He had moved so he shaded her with his body.

The movement took her so by surprise that when his hooves came back down, she found herself pitched off to the right side of the saddle with one foot already out of the stirrup. She tried desperately to grab her stirrup back and shorten her reins, but already she could feel Flynn’s muscles coiling as he prepared for another, even more explosive buck. She knew she had to jump off before she was thrown, but as she tried to kick her foot out of her other stirrup, Flynn shook his head violently from side to side. He jumped into the air, twisted, and launched her out of the saddle.

It had been a smooth transition for the most part. Flynn took to her with ease. Within days he’d taken to nickering loudly at her as soon as she walked into the barn. While the behavior was cute, all it did was remind her that he wasn’t Tuck. Tuck never called to her like that, though he’d shown he was happy to see her in his own way. Whenever Tuck had been out in the big pasture, he’d always been waiting by the gate when she came to collect him. At first, she wondered how he knew she was there, but later decided it was just more evidence that he truly was her heart horse.

Her right hip hit the ground first and the impact sent fireworks across her field of vision. Then her head snapped forward, smashing the front of her helmet against a rock. A sharp wave of pain and dizziness erupted in her skull.

Paige felt her anger ebbing away, replaced with guilt. Flynn wasn’t Tuck. But he wasn’t trying to be either. He just liked having a job and a person— even if his person suffered from a broken heart.

Groaning, she turned her head to the left to see where Flynn went. The effort caused another wave of dizziness to sweep over her, but as her eyes refocused, she spotted Flynn just a few feet away. His eyes were wide and his nostrils flared as he slowly approached her.

Paige wiped at the tears that had rolled down her cheek. Flynn was a nice horse and he would teach her so much, but she didn’t know if she was ready to open her heart to him. If she’d ever be ready. ••• The canyon path eventually diverged into two forks, with the wider leading to the left and the narrower route going to the right. Paige directed Flynn to the right. The waterfall was about a mile down from here. New noises greeted her as they entered the smaller canyon. A symphony of cicadas punctuated with the chirps of birds. Even the ground sounded different as it crunched under

Paige lay still for only a moment, trying desperately to get her breath back. She knew she had to get up, get off the ground before Flynn could step on her. Whatever he had seen, it had really panicked him. He could trample her in fear, but as she tried to move her right leg, the pain in her hip was blinding.

He nudged her shoulder, and she reached up with one hand to grab the dangling reins. The movement was too much for her, and she fell back against the ground. Paige closed her eyes and took stock of her injuries as she willed the world to stop spinning. The skin of her hands and knees stung, and she imagined she had at least a few cuts from landing on the rocky ground. Despite how bad her head felt, the helmet had probably absorbed the worst of the impact from the ground. Which left her hip as the worst of her injuries. As the adrenaline wore off, she could feel the pounding ache in her hip coming more strongly

“Thank you,” she muttered and brought her hand up to pet him. Just as Flynn turned away from her and took off down the canyon, back the way they had come. Paige swore out loud and lay back in the dirt. She knew it. She just knew it. Flynn would never measure up to Tuck. Tuck wouldn’t have left her like that. He would have stayed right by her side, protecting her, until someone found them. Panic rose. She had been so stupid. Stupid to trust Flynn and go out without a buddy. Without her phone. Without telling anyone where she’d gone. Now she was going to die here. What a waste of a life. Twenty-nine years old, no boyfriend, no kids, just a job that overworked her and would replace her within the month. “Get it together, Paige,” she snapped at herself. She pushed the panic away, blocking the spiraling thoughts from her mind. “Someone could still come.” She felt the sun beating down on her and knew she needed to find shade soon. Especially if she was going to be stuck here without water, waiting to hopefully be rescued. She lifted her head again and noticed a patch of shade about fifty feet away. It surely would shift as the sun rose higher, but she didn’t know how long she was going to have to wait. It was only the option she had. Gritting her teeth, Paige began to pull herself forward on her hands and elbows. She used her good leg to give herself a little leverage, but it was still agonizing work to slowly drag herself along as the rocks. Gravel tore at her clothes and skin. By the time she reached the shade, she was soaked in sweat. Paige put her cheek on the cool ground, and finally closed her eyes to rest. ••• When she woke later, the sun was higher in the sky. Her shade patch had shrunk considerably. Paige licked the stickiness away from her lips and realized how thirsty she was. “If only that damn horse hadn’t run off with my water,” she muttered. Her voice sounded raspy to

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her own ears. Talking to herself was maybe not the best use of her remaining energy.

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She could still hear the buzz of cicadas in the canyon, but nothing else beyond it. No bird song or footsteps of an errant horse. She looked back the way Flynn had run, but she didn’t see any signs of movement. If Flynn had run back to the barn, the grooms would see him. They would know instantly what had happened and come looking for her. But if Flynn was still in the canyon somewhere, no one would realize there was a horse wandering around without a rider. If he was still in the canyon, maybe he’d come back to her. If he did, maybe she could grit her teeth against the pain and pull herself back into the saddle. She definitely couldn’t walk, but maybe she could ride back to the barn. She strained her eyes, trying to peer as far as she could down the path. When she’d fallen off Tuck, he had always hung around nearby. Granted, she’d always been at the barn and never out in the wilderness, but she wanted to believe that Flynn wouldn’t just completely leave her. Would he?

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Or maybe he would, she thought grimly. It’s not like she’d gone out of her way to bond with him. She’d been so focused on comparing him to Tuck, keeping a mental tally of all the ways he didn’t measure up, that she’d kept him at a distance. Flynn had tried over and over to close the distance between them, nickering and trying to cuddle up against her, but she’d pushed him away, literally and figuratively. “So stupid, Paige,” she muttered. “You didn’t even try. And now look where that’s got you.” A faint clopping noise reached her ears. Paige squinted at the path again. Was that movement down there? In the bright sunlight with her head injury, she didn’t entirely trust her eyes. The clopping noise got louder, and she could now see that something large and brown was coming her way. Relief flooded her. Flynn came back after all. But as the creature drew closer, she could see that though it was a horse, it wasn’t Flynn. Flynn was a dark bay and this horse was a coppery chestnut. Just like Tuck. Paige gasped. As the horse came closer and closer, she recognized the cowlick on his chest, the tiny white star on his head, the barbed wire scar on his shoulder. The tears flowed freely now. Tuck was back. Tuck was alive. Or maybe she was dead? But either way, Tuck was standing in front of her, curiously sniffing at her body and perhaps wondering what she was doing on the ground. With a trembling hand, Paige reached up and touched his face. He felt real. His fur was warm to the touch and she could feel his breath against her wrist. He blinked his big brown eyes at her and nudged her arm with his nose. “I missed you,” she said. Her voice cracked with emotion. Tuck gently blew into her face, his breath scented with hay. He took a step back and her chest clenched. “Don’t leave me,” she said. “Not again.” Tuck dipped his head to the ground as he rocked his weight back and went down to his knees. After a moment, his hindquarters dropped to the ground behind him. His body offered her some shade from the sun, which had grown unrelentingly hot as it moved higher in the sky. Paige stretched out a

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hand to her horse, who nibbled at it gently with his velvety lips. “Thank you,” she said. Tuck’s eyelids drooped and she remembered the way he had looked at her that night at the veterinary hospital. Before they’d taken him away to perform the colic surgery, a surgery he wouldn’t survive. Tuck had looked at her with heavy-lidded eyes, pleading with her to help him. He was so tired, but he hadn’t given up yet. He needed Paige to keep fighting for him. “I’m so sorry,” she said. “I did try. I thought it would help. I thought they could save you.” She could barely get the words out around the lump in her throat. She knew she had tried. The colic surgery was so expensive, more than her bank account could bear. Yet when the vet who had come out to the barn told her that Tuck needed to go to the hospital, Paige hadn’t even hesitated. She remembered how badly her hands had been shaking as she tried to hook up her trailer. How she nearly took her finger off trying to hurry through the process. How she prayed to a God she hadn’t talked to in years. A God who would let her down, again. Paige pressed her hand against the white star on Tuck’s forehead. “Everything has been so hard,” she sobbed. “Knowing you were waiting for me to come to the barn and squeeze in a ride before work got me up on my worst days. And you kept me going to work, too. Knowing I had to take care of you, even if I couldn’t or didn’t want to take care of myself. And now, I just don’t know. I don’t know.” She closed her eyes and cried harder. She missed Tuck with everything she had. He was her light on the shore. Without him, she felt like the storm was coming for her, to drag her out to sea and drown her. “I know Tom means well,” she said, at last. “He hopes that Flynn will fill up the hole in my heart that you left. But he can’t. He’s not you. And you’ll never be you. It’s his fault I’m hurt. He spooked at nothing and threw me. You would have never done that.” Tuck lifted his head and looked at her intently with his soft brown eyes. Suddenly she remembered their first ride in the open space. “I’d forgotten,” she said. “You were afraid in the beginning, too. You weren’t always so confident on the trail. That took time.”

She stroked the velvety skin of Tuck’s muzzle. “And maybe that was foolish of me to think that just because Flynn had shown so much, he’d be comfortable being out here by himself. That probably wasn’t fair of me.” Tuck’s eyelids drooped again and a deep feeling of weariness swept over her. She knew she shouldn’t close her eyes again. That she might not wake up if she did, but it was so hard to resist the seductive pull of sleep.

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••• Voices in the canyon woke her. Judging by the position of the sun, it was be nearing late afternoon. Paige opened her mouth and tried to call out to them, but her words stuck in her throat. She coughed and tried again, seeing movement coming towards her. As they got closer, she made out a man and woman dressed in jogging clothes. The woman was holding the leash of a yellow lab and the man held Flynn’s reins. “Are you hurt?” the man asked as they drew close to her. “I assume this is your horse.” After she explained what had happened and what her injuries were, the man pointed at Flynn. “This is a good horse you’ve got here,” the man said. “We were walking near the ravine and he came right up to us. Seemed to want us to come with him, so we followed him, and he led us right to you.” Tears prickled at her eyes once again. Paige reached out a hand to Flynn, who gently bumped it with his nose. She knew he was sorry. He hadn’t intended to throw her, and he’d helped her the best that he could. He wasn’t as brave as Tuck, but he was still a good horse. As Flynn stared back at her with his soft, dark eyes, she thought she saw Tuck looking back at her. Telling her it was okay to let him go. A competitive dressage rider, Shannon Fox has been riding since she was nine years old and writing all her life. To see more writing, visit www.shannon-fox.com.

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