The Beestonian Issue 50 by The Beestonian

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Beestonian Here’s to the next 50!

Issue no.

Off The Rails

etwork Rail are keen to stop us crossing their tracks. We think it’s them that have crossed a line….

They weren’t exactly brazen about it. In mid-December, a letter dropped through the door of a few select houses, all close by the rail line. It could so easily have been missed: that time of year usually has people rather distracted by the looming festive holidays, and with the daily letterbox fodder swollen with Christmas Cards and junk mail, you’d be forgiven for overlooking it. But those who did open it up and read found it contained a bit of a bombshell: Network Rail were looking to close three paths that run across the line, on the rather spurious grounds of safety. We had until the end of the month to lodge an objection. Curiously, these letters were post-dated late November. Had they been floating around in the ether / sorting office all that time? Nope.

A cynic may suggest that this was done on purpose to keep the number of objections to a minimum. However, we at The Beestonian are a positive bunch so accept that this was, as Network Rail claimed when this was bought to their attention, ‘an admin error’. They duly extended the consultancy to late January. So what is being proposed? Three crossings, named as ‘Nature Reserve’ (Meadow Lane); Long Lane and Barratt Lane No.1 are being considered for closure. This would severely restrict access into the Nature Reserve by all means other than car, necessitating a 3 mile round-trip for most Beestonians used to the highly popular Meadow Lane crossing. Cycle paths, jogging routes, bridleways and nature trails would be blocked off. Bizarrely, the Nature Reserve was not informed of Network Rail’s plans, which is akin to someone nailing your back door shut without notice. Continued overpage

Off The Rails Alternatives are suggested: a rather limited token mention of bridges, each suggestion appended with a list of reasons why this would not be practical. There is no option for retaining the status-quo or beefing up safety features. It’s a raised way, or no way. Beestonians were, unsurprisingly, livid. A campaign was swiftly set up, overseen by myself, and a great surge of community action began as people contacted groups who would be affected. The word spread beyond those few houses that received the letter, until the media picked up on it, which in turn alerted others. Emails were sent to Network Rail, stating why the shutting off of the paths would be detrimental. Nature lovers, denied access to our beautiful nature reserve. Cyclists, who use the crossing to join the cycle paths to Nottingham. Dog walkers. Horse riders. Joggers, who keep fit pounding the mazy paths. A wealth of reasons have been put forward.

If we look at the bigger picture, we can see why this is happening. After a severe scolding from an all-party parliamentary report on safety back in 2014, which admonished them for their approach towards safety at levelcrossings, Network Rail have been keen to reduce their liability on the rail network in the bluntest way possible: get rid of them altogether. This also reduces expenditure on maintaining crossings: if there is no need to have clear sightlines down the track, it is fine to leave bushes to overgrow longer. There have been deaths, but after an accident a decade ago of a pensioner, Network Rail themselves stated that the circumstances were highly unusual (the victim was wearing a hood that prevented clear vision; he was very hard of hearing; there was dense fog that day) and did not warrant further safety measures being implemented.

Ctd.

The vast majority of people use common sense when crossing, to a degree of vigilance that they would not usually use crossing a road. Retaining the status quo (albeit with increased safety features), or building bridges accessible to all is what we need to argue for. How these are implemented is up to Network Rail. What is key, what we need to strongly stand against, is any attempt to lose access to these vital crossings, the paths that - through giving easy access to those wanting fresh air and exercise - increase the collective health of our town. There is an open meeting at Attenborough Village Hall on February 8th, 3pm-6pm. Get down, get your voice heard. Keep Attenborough Accessible. LB

University of Beestonia

lthough we’ve had little chance to share it with you over the last 18 months (our consultants suggested an Overstreet and Schlitz approach to communications recently) it’s been a busy time at the University of Beestonia.

It’s a challenging time for the industry and it’s important we are correctly positioned to make the most of the opportunities on the horizon as we move forward. We’ve therefore been working hard to ensure The University of Beestonia can continue to lead both nationally and internationally in the coming decade.

Re-imagining and re-imaging not only what our University is but what it should be in the 21st century is a real challenge. We are now constrained by REF, TEF, increasing internationalisation, BREXIT, white papers asking for more with less… to name but a few. This means there is no one clear path and our institutional and individual ability to understand wtf is going on has been stretched to and beyond breaking point. We are not the only institution harmed by the post-truth (i.e. bullshit) narrative and the 2016 fad for demonising the expert. However, what this trend has highlighted is that saying nothing at all does not say it best (we sacked those consultants, despite any evidence to the contrary in these short

paragraphs). We need to say it more, say it better, say it louder and say it backed up with facts (pre-post-truth) and years of experience in what we are talking about. Once we’ve worked out what it is we’ll let you know, but fear not, we have lots of experts working on it. Here at the University of Beestonia we aim to spend 2017 looking for the solutions and not pointing out more of the problems (it might be another quiet year from us!). We’d love to hear from you about what you want from your university so please do get in touch (thebeestonian@gmail.com) and we’ll read your ideas before ignoring them :p Prof Jones

The Yorkshireman Speaks This month the Yorkshireman takes on Trump, TV dramas and kids clubs

Top Trumps? As I write this article we are about to see one of most potentially controversial presidents in living memory, being “sworn in” This is a term that is quite apt, as most of the world is thinking, “what the bloody hell happened there?” America has raised a star spangled middle finger to political elitism and voted for a man of the people. Yes, to the rest of us he’s a figure of ridicule, a wig wearing toddler with a temper problem and a penchant for grabbing females in their unmentionables, but to many Americans he is a blueprint of the American dream. A self-made man, one of their own, you can see this in that famous family photograph. He, sat on a gold throne in a tailored suit, Ivana draped in fur and precious gemstones and his youngest son riding on the back of the lion. In an eerie parallel with our own Brexit vote, I can understand how it happened. Poor opposition, campaigns embroiled in dirty tactics and lies and a desire from the electorate to regain control and kick out at the establishment. Americans have voted for change and this is much easier to sell than more of the same. It’s hard to tell what will happen when Trump takes over. As a comedian people have said it must be a gift from the gods having him in charge. In truth, yes he is perfect comedy fodder, I mean which other president fires out tweets at four in the morning in a slanging match with an Oscar winning actress? He’s like an angry, drunken uncle with a broadband connection. To be honest though I would prefer some stability in the world, comedians are not that masochistic, that’s like saying a lifeguard only does the job because they want to watch people drown. However I do think the world has changed. I hate the way that showing compassion nowadays brands you as a “lefty” or “snowflake.” Since when was this trait categorized as a bad thing? I’m interested to see what happens over the next few months, Trump may trigger Armageddon, but I think they’ll be plenty of laughs along the way.

No more dramas It was the finale of the series Sherlock last weekend and I must admit I am a fan. It’s all about that 9pm Sunday evening slot now and it’s a firm favourite in our household. I like to watch the Antiques roadshow first, because I’m basically a pensioner trapped in a 37 year-old’s body, Imagine, if you will a Yorkshire Benjamin Button. I like to watch it on catch up, that way you get the extra frisson of excitement knowing the items are worth even more. Anyway I’d love to tell you about the series finale of Sherlock, I would, but I’m still utterly confused.

There is an irony in a detective show being so baffling you need a degree in criminology just to be able to follow it. It appears Sherlock had a long lost sister, who had been dressing up as various characters and stalking him. It was like an episode of Scooby Doo. The final straw for me was seeing Paul Weller (of the Jam) laid out on the floor dressed as a Viking, I don’t know why and I don’t think he does either; utter twaddle. Television drama is having a renaissance at the moment. Ever since the mumblefest that was Wolf Hall, I said ‘WOLF HALL!” it’s all about the feature length drama. Apparently people are writing in to complain about the lack of diction from some of the main characters in these dramas. I think they should have an interpreter, like they do late night for the deaf community. They could bring in Brian Blessed, a man who’s known for vocal projection skills so impressive they could start an avalanche. You wouldn’t be able to have your television volume above eight but at least you’d be able to follow the plot. The latest hit is Taboo starring the intense and brooding Tom Hardy, (“cheer up son, give us a smile!”) I haven’t seen it but my father-inlaw offered a succinct but devastating review; “It’s all filmed through chair legs and mist.” They turned it off and watched “How stuff’s made” on Quest instead.

It’s not the winning it’s the taking part It’s a natural thing for parents to think their child is unique and wonderful. It’s true some children will go on to achieve great things, future leaders, scientists who have moments of genius and cure diseases.

However statistics dictate that some of them will reach the dizzy heights of middle management in an estate agents in Wigan and stay there until death brings the freedom they crave; but there is absolutely nothing wrong with either of those scenarios. It’s in the environment of the kids club we see this competitiveness magnified. Parents of children in the junior football team, screaming at their first born from the touchline “mark him” “spread the ball” and my favourite “let me live my dreams vicariously through you!” In the case of my daughter we had to endure the nightmare that is ballet lessons. I’ve sat through hours of recitals and paid thirty odd quid a month to essentially watch her bow in pumps. She enjoys it but she’s not a natural, she’s clumsy, which is an issue for the ballerina. Yesterday she fell over on a lino floor, just collapsed into a heap like a controlled demolition, she’s passionate and enthusiastic but she’s no Darcey Bussell. But it doesn’t matter, it’s all about confidence. I myself did karate as a child, albeit only for two weeks. I failed to see how doing my little routines up and down the floor of a working man’s club in Yorkshire, taught by a man who I’m convinced had just been recently released from prison, was going to help me in a real time combat situation. Imagine it kicks off in the middle of Nottingham, fists are flying, men wrestling each other to the ground, broken glass everywhere and then here I come, doing my little moves, “stop everyone, look at this, we appear to have been joined by an angry line dancer!” I’m not worried about my daughter. She’s already an independent thinker. I realised this last week when I tried and failed to put the fatherly foot down. “Olivia,” I said, “if you don’t get dressed this minute, mummy, daddy and your sister will all go out and you’ll be left here at home all on your own!” She looked up at me from her My Little Pony magazine, thought for a moment and replied, “Okay daddy that sounds great!” “No!” I said, “that’s not how this should go!” She continued, “You’re right daddy, I need to be punished, I’ll just stay here in bed with my magazine and think about how bad I’ve been.” I tried again, the desperation evident in my voice. “This isn’t right Olivia, you’re meant to be scared!” “I think you’re the one that’s scared daddy,” she said smiling. ”It’s Sunday morning and you’ve got to go to IKEA.” Find The Scott Bennett Podcast on SoundCloud and iTunes SB

STU: A LIFE LOST

Nothing quite makes you question mortality than those two great bookends of life: birth and death. The former had been dwelling on my mind for some time, as my son grew from the size of a poppy seed when the pregnancy test striped, to 8lb 6oz of squirming, screaming life, emerging in early November after a torturously long labour. The feeling that had grown through the nine months preceding the labour became flesh: I was now responsible for a life. Looking at him, blinking under hospital lights, I realised that what he became was an empty canvas. It was up to myself and his mother to paint his early life, set him on the right paths. Trying to extrapolate what he would become when he was my age…it’s a heady, terrifying thought. Around the same time, in the days leading up to his arrival, I became aware of a departure. Stuart Alexander Smith was a guy I had not known long, but had become very fond of. I’d first met him when I asked a friend to help me mend a bike I’d been gifted. Stuart had tagged along. He was new to the area, and this had got him out the house. Afterwards we had a cup of tea – he was teetotal – and a chat. He was instantly personable, instantly interesting. He was fascinated with The Beestonian, and became an avid reader, reading each issue cover to cover and letting me know the bits he particularly like. “Write for us one time” I suggested “A view of Beeston from an ex-con who has come here to find a quiet life”. He liked the idea, but I never received any copy. A gentle man hidden behind a rough demeanour, I realised I hadn’t heard from him for a while. The random meetings on the High Road, where he’d tell me of the life he was rebuilding after a spell in prison. It too had been a while since I’d received one of his FB messages asking for advice about Beeston (he was from the South, as you’d know instantly by his deep, cockney accent), or his thoughts

on politics (hugely anti-authoritarian, but mellowing & inspired by Corbyn to join Labour). I checked his Facebook page, and was shocked and saddened to see people leaving tributes to his life. Stuart had died. I didn’t even know he was ill. I contacted his friends. They explained he’d had a cancer diagnosis which was too advanced to treat. It all happened quickly apparently. Not enough time to hear about it, not enough time to say goodbye. How could a man, so full of heart and generous of spirit, leave like that? How awful was it that just as he was finding some peace in his life, he would be taken so ruthlessly? I couldn’t make his funeral, a week after the birth of my boy. The experience of a difficult birth had taken a huge chunk out of my wife’s energy, and her recovery was slow yet steady. Others did make it to Bramcote Crematorium, on a cold November afternoon, one of those grey days where the darkness never really breaks. He died without obituary, so I hope this serves. A friend of his told me with much sadness: “He had no family”. Yet it would be wrong to say he died lonely: he was blessed with a great friend in Trowell resident Gareth Whitedog, who gave a eulogy. “I really can’t tell you what a good friend he was to me over the years” he told me when I got in contact. I asked about his life before Beeston. “He was born in Wood Green (North London) in 1952. His father died when he was quite young; and he was devastated when his mum died in the eighties. I met him at college: he then became a court clerk, then a building surveyor for East Barnet Council, where he became massively disillusioned with the way councils operate. He couldn’t tolerate injustice, you see.” Other jobs followed. “He had many facets” Gareth explained “scholar, builder, surveyor, wheeler, dealer, wheeler dealer, music lover, audiophile, free thinker, comedian, poet,

philosopher, mystic, conspiracy theorist, conspiracy theory debunker, detectorist, angler, space cadet, star ship captain, and covert galactic special forces operative, to mention a few”. However, his liberty was curtailed in the late noughties when he was given an eightyear sentence for drug offences. His thirst for knowledge never ebbed: he was an incredibly well-read man “Prison is great for books” he once told me “I was a captive audience. They were my escape”. Released on license in December 2012, Gareth took him in. “We couldn’t see him going into some awful offenders’ hostel, or something” he explained. This is when I would have first met him. He was infinitely interesting, often bizarre in his esoteric look at the world, but even his more outré ideas were underpinned by a great love of humanity. “He was a spiritual man, a follower of an Indian guru” Gareth told me “and he believed that world peace can only be achieved by individuals finding their own personal peace, and bringing that into the world on a day-byday basis” It may seem bizarre to print an obituary in this mag. It may seem especially odd that if it wasn’t for a kind friend taking him in, he would never have become a Beestonian and crossed my path. But he did, and he deserves some form of memorial. Beeston barely knew him, and I have no doubt that if cancer hadn’t snatched him away, he would have become a great part of our community. It was not to be. So let this serve some form of memorial to a man of great humility; and the potential we lost when he finally found that ultimate peace. Stewart Alexander Smith, born 17/7/52; died 26/10/16 LB

Barton’s Quarter

development

f you weren’t already aware, the UK has been in the grip of a housing crisis for some time. Not enough properties are available for people to live in, new homes not being built quickly enough, and the dream of home ownership is out of the financial reach of vast swathes of the population.

The various political, economic and social forces which drive and influence demand and supply means that it is usually more profitable for developers to build brand new homes on greenbelt land. The types of new housing being built varies, but unsurprisingly, dwellings such as 5 bedroomed executive homes normally generate the highest returns for the builders. This is not ideal for those wanting to get on the housing ladder. A new development with a difference could soon be with us, if a proposal to build on derelict land at the Barton’s site gets the go-ahead. If everything is approved, 250 homes will be built on the fairly extensive site. The good news for those who are wanting to get onto the property ladder is that 54 of them will be 1 bedroomed flats/ maisonettes, and 122 of them will be 2 bedroomed flats.

bedrooms. Of those who move into the properties with 2 or more bedrooms, I think it is fair to estimate that well under half will have children of school age. Take out the ones who aren’t at primary school, and it would be hard to imagine more than an extra 2 or 3 children in each primary school year.

The Barton Family Another unusual aspect to the scheme is that the buildings themselves will be constructed according to aesthetic design principles. Much of the new estate homes that have been built over the last few years have faced much criticism for their utilitarian uniformity and less than imaginative design, which personally I think is unwarranted. A home is a home, and anyway, attitudes to architecture are fluid. An 80’s ‘Lego estate’ may well be as revered as a Victorian terrace in years to come. Getting back to the point, some of the artist’s impressions are very different to average new-builds, and would be a very welcome addition to the mixture of housing in the area. A few nay-sayers have cited some concerns - one of them

being the extra traffic the development would bring. It is highly unlikely that every one of the new homes would contain a car owner, and even if it did, the proximity of the site to the tram and bus stops would make life easy for anyone commuting to the University, QMC, city or in the other direction to Long Eaton and Derby. Lots more people work at home now, so it would hardly seem likely that dozens of cars will be creating queues of traffic along the High Road or Queens Road. Others have pointed out that there would be added pressure on already well-subscribed primary schools in the area. For starters, less than 200 of the new homes have two or more bedrooms. 122 of them will be 2 bedroomed flats, leaving fewer than 80 homes with 3 or more

How the designs of some of the buildings might look

As well as contributing to the housing ‘effort’, the scheme would also see substantial extra council tax revenue being generated. At a time when the money given to local authorities is ever-decreasing, an extra few hundred thousand pounds will be very welcome. My biggest concern is that the site will lose some of the heritage magic, and the venue for some brilliant events. Over the last few years Bartons has been host to any number of superb performances. This has included comedy, music (of all genres), along with art installations, not to mention the markets and heritage open days. However, provision is being made for an events space, so fingers crossed that this is included. If the scheme does get the goahead, it will be a couple of years at least before the site takes shape, although I’m tempted to start taking bets that it will be complete before anything worthwhile is built on the empty land opposite Tesco. JC

CREATIVE BEESTON

The Return to Handmade Hipster Trend or Quiet Revolution?

f like me you like to buy unique presents for people at Christmas and prefer to shop locally, then you will have been more than aware of the vast number of ‘craft’ shopping opportunities that were available to us in Nottinghamshire this year.

We may ask ourselves, at a time when goods are so easily mass produced all over the globe and readily transported to us in record time, why is there this steady uprise in the making and selling of handmade items? Has it become trendy to make your own or is it a result of the current economic downturn? Are we getting bored of the replicated products we see on all the shelves, in all the shops, and are instead striving for originality? Or could it be that we are starting to value again the time and care that is spent on something that has been made from start to finish by one person’s skilful hands. According to the UK Craft Council the consumption of craft has been on the increase for quite a number of years. Their 2010 study showed that 40% of the adults in their sample had purchased a craft object and 23% would consider buying craft. It also showed that the greatest demand was for contemporary or ‘cutting edge’ craft with 97% of craft buyers supporting this market. It might be worth making the distinction at this point, between the different categories that handmade can be grouped into. Craft By definition, to ‘craft’ something is to make it with one’s own hands so this would appear to cover a wide range of objects. However, currently this

of the craft market and it would be most likely to be sold at larger handmade events, such as ‘Craft in the City’ in Waterstones, rather than the local church Christmas fair. It is this market that the Craft Council’s 2015 three year strategy supports, in their evaluation of craft trends and their impact on policy and practice. Art seems to range from something you made impulsively out of card, with the kids on a wet Saturday afternoon, to the kind of objects d’art you might see at the acclaimed ‘Lustre’ exhibition which features at Lakeside Art Centre in November. In the Craft Council research the words ‘authenticity’, ‘quality’ ‘handmade’, ‘workmanship’ and ‘genuine’ were all attributed to the genre. Contemporary Craft Is the name we give to the work that is typically produced by graduates who have honed their skills academically and have created a business which involves making, marketing and selling their own pieces. We tend to look upon this as the ‘high end’

Always a tricky one this, and without getting into the ‘what is art?’ debate, we tend to attach this label to things that are made purely for their aesthetic value rather than their everyday use. Whereas craft objects tend to be created for their practical aspects and are often born out of a need for something that didn’t previously exist. Let’s take the tea cosy as a good honest utilitarian Nottingham example – you don’t want your tea to go cold whilst it’s mashin’ duck! Creativity So, do you need to be creative to be able to do crafts? Well, not entirely. Sometimes learning the steps to make something and being technically minded is all you need to produce a perfectly presented set of greetings cards or an origami animal. Natural creativity is generally more expressive and something that comes and goes. The creator can find themselves frustrated when an idea they had doesn’t quite work out the way they imagined it and this is often the artist’s nemesis. But without doubt, undertaking some kind of creative pursuit has been scientifically proven to have a positive effect on our well-being. It may be just about finding the one that suits you. How creative is Beeston? Very! There are many different groups of artists and makers networking and planning exhibitions as we speak. If you were lucky enough to visit last year’s ABC Arts Trail - twenty five artists at twelve venues - you will

already be aware of the wealth of talent we have in Beeston and the surrounding areas. In fact one Beestonian, Marysia Zipser, was so taken by the cultural and creative richness of this town she set up ACT (ArtCulture-Tourism) in December 2013. According to her recent interview in the West Bridgford Wire, she is ‘on a mission to make Beeston the art and culture capital of the UK.’ Although she ran ACT voluntarily for the past three years, in May 2016 it became an official registered organisation. On a smaller scale there are community craft groups currently running from Two Little Magpies, Beeston’s newest gift shop which houses a fantastic selection of locally produced cards, prints, textiles, jewellery and garments. There is gallery space at Mish Mash on Chilwell’s Creative Corner as well as some of the local restaurants and tea rooms, and regular workshops at Artworks, Heidi’s Home Furnishings and The Fabric Place.

Connections are being made and friendships being forged and we are well on the way to having our own creative ‘hub’ where many of these creatives can share space and ideas and maybe make preparations for that ‘creative revolution.’ Facebook communities you can join: Creative Beeston, Sew Notts, Made in Beeston For more information email itsinthebeehive@gmail.com HB

Chris McLoughlin Interview

t’s very rare that I cry after reading a book or poem. But one Beeston-based performance poet succeeded in opening the floodgates when I read one of ten poems in his collection Breakdown. The man in question is Chris McLoughlin, 28, who has been writing for two and a half years, ever since he moved to the area.

His chapbook was published in July 2016 by Big White Shed, a Nottingham-based business run by Anne Holloway, which acts as an enabler to help poets such as Chris realise their ambitions, such as writing a book. After reading his collection, I couldn’t wait to meet him and it turns out we have a lot more in common than expected, i.e. we both have anxiety. I begin by asking him about the subject matter of his poems. He says, ‘They predominantly cover the mental health spectrum and grief.’ It is by nature a personal subject, so I asked him what his poems mean to him, in terms of their content and writing them. He tells me that ‘they are a way for me to process what I’m going through, but in performance and by publishing they are a way that I hope other people can process what they are going through.’ As a Beeston poet myself, I wondered whether he has ever been inspired by our home-town. He says: ‘I write about Beeston quite a lot. You know the concrete steam towers? When you get the train in just before the station? I’ve written about them loads. Every time I reach them I’m home, and they’re the signifier.’ At this point we turn to the subject of performance. Chris tells me that he has a background in drama and is a trained actor. He says, ‘I’m more of a stage poet than I am a page poet. The difference for me is when you read a powerful poem, it will tend to reach people for longer but not in the same way. Whereas when I perform, I perform to people not just at them.’ Chris has performed at a number of festivals including Luton International Carnival, Nottingham Poetry festival, and Greenwich & Docklands Festival. He provides me with an insight into how someone expressing mental health problems transfers that to an

audience: ‘There’s one poem called Ghosts which I do at festivals,’ he says, ‘and usually you tend to get quite a lot of “traditional” poets who read and look like professors. But in Ghosts, I walk into the audience and get them to cram around me as tight as they can, and it’s trying to teach them what anxiety is.’ I tell him what a great idea it is, to combine his acting skills with being a poet, and he recalls a performance he did at Das Kino in Nottingham. ‘They’ve got a big mirror at the back which you perform in front of,’ he tells me, ‘and that’s so horrible! If I perform in front of that, everyone is going to be like “whatever”, so I got everyone to turn around and face the mirror, and I faced the mirror and said, “this is what anxiety looks like.”’ I tell him I need to see him perform.

To tell me what message he wants to convey to his readers through the written word he begins by explaining the writing process of his book’s blurb: ‘We [him and Anne] took three hours to write the blurb, and it’s two sentences. It’s because we didn’t know what we meant, and it was always stuff like “Chris McLoughlin is a blah blah blah” and in the end I just wrote “he kinda wants you to buy this book, or whatever,

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Chris McLough

but really he just hopes these poems help you feel less alone”. And that’s exactly it, I just want someone to hear the poem and go “oh, me too.”’ I was meant to interview Chris for the last issue, and touch on his role with the Mouthy Poets, a poetry collective that run weekly workshop sessions to explore poetry in terms of performance. But in December 2016 they split up, so I decide to ask Chris, who was their Artistic Director, about the reasons behind the split. He tells me ‘we got caught in a catch 22 where our funding got so low we could barely afford to pay our staff, and we needed our staff to be doing funding stuff. Eventually we decided rather than impact our participants negatively we’d say “we’ve done a lot and that’s that.”’ He informs me that the average running course of an arts organisation is five years, and the Mouthy Poets had been on its sixth year. It’s not all bad news, however, as participants from Mouthy have branched out and created new projects such as a writing collective and an editing circle. Chris adds that although he doesn’t see Mouthy coming back together, he wouldn’t rule it out completely. After reading Breakdown I’m eager for more, so I ask him if he is working on anything at the moment. ‘I’ve just finished my first full collection, called Underneath the Almond Tree. It covers my life from three months before my mother passed away from breast cancer up until the present day.’ As he wants his collection in the hands of more people, he’ll be sending it off to publishers such as Faber and Carcanet, and it’ll be another two years or so until the collection is out. But for now, you can buy Breakdown from Chris’ website: www.pijaykin.com Or see his featured poem, taken from his upcoming collection. JM

n 1897, Nottingham was granted a city charter to coincide with the celebrations accompanying Queen Victoria’s Diamond Jubilee.

By then Nottingham already had a history going back to at least the ninth century when the settlement was referred to as ‘Tigguo Cobauc’, which literally translates as the ‘House of Caves’. The Victorian and Edwardian era saw great changes to Nottingham. Rapid growth in its population meant the town had to adapt. Once known as the ‘Garden Town’, Nottingham quickly saw an urban transformation in areas such as housing, industry and transport. Much of Nottingham’s heritage was lost to make way for progress, even more so with the Enclosure Act of 1845. This book, through photographs, postcards, documents and other images, reflects the changes Nottingham has seen from a beautiful garden town to one of the Britain’s leading cities. We can trace both the architectural development and the social impact brought about by these changes. This book records the historical changes by comparing Victorian and Edwardian photographs with their modern-day counterparts. Available from all good book shops and also available online. The book can also be ordered directly from Amberley Publishing: www.amberley-books.com/discover-books/victorianedwardian-nottingham-through-time.html Telephone: 01453 847800 JN

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“The story you are about to see is a tale of terror that will freeze your very soul...”

ver the years Sal and I have had a lot of weird things happen to us: watching the birth of our daughter become the top story on the BBC news website; being mentioned in a question on a national TV quiz show and recently discovering someone had written us into a play where the ‘real’ Robin and Marian appear in modern day Nottingham and bump into us, meaning we are genuinely characters in someone else’s play (which on reflection may explain a lot).

Performance-wise I have done a few other things over the years; some TV work, music videos and even a proper play (for most of which I had to stay hidden under a huge pile of empty beer cans, pizza boxes and other detritus so I could ‘amusingly’ emerge halfway through proclaiming ‘Great party, man’ which didn’t require quality acting skills so much as the ability to stay awake). And several years ago I was also hired to dress as a vicar and act out a marriage service for a couple of people who wanted it to be filmed; I still have no idea at all what that was about. I’ve also been in a couple of movies – not huge, big budget epics or lavish musicals but more what you’d call ‘very low budget horror movies’, the splendidly titled ‘Dracula’s Orgy of the Damned’ and ‘Werewolf Massacre at Hell’s Gate’ written, directed and produced by my old friend James Baack in and around his home in Chicago (and even now available on DVD from Amazon in the US). A few years ago James asked me if I’d like to appear in his films to narrate/introduce as ‘Lord Victor Fleming’, a collector of arcane and mysterious stories. Wearing evening dress and having dressed our living room look as much like a 19th century gentleman’s club

as possible Sally filmed me setting the scene for the film (“The story you are about to see is a tale of terror that will freeze your very soul” etc.) including some filming at Wollaton Hall to imply it was Victor Fleming’s ancestral home. We both enjoyed the experience greatly and were delighted to get copies of the final, finished film(s) several months later. And then reviews of the movies began turning up online, and oddly the one thing all the reviews had in common were comments on the narrator’s ‘fake English accent’, which amused us all greatly. I can maybe see why American reviewers watching a film mainly shot in America with American actors might assume my accent was fake (and to be fair my ‘posh’ voice may not be entirely consistent anyway) but when I jokingly replied to one such reviewer on the Amazon US site recently, pointing out I was genuinely English in what I hoped was an amusingly and vaguely sarcastic way, the Nottingham Post got involved and ran a story ‘Robin Hood slammed for ‘fake English accent’’, and that really was weird. Although it was quite fun, albeit presumably on a slow news day, it also got me thinking. Much like Russell Crowe I know I’ve never spoken in a ‘Nottingham accent’ but I’m not sure what my accent is. I’m sure I do have some Nottingham influence but I don’t think it’s very strong (I’m sure growing up listening to a lot of Radio 4 has affected it much more) but that led me to further wonder – is there ‘Beeston accent’? I don’t think there is, but is that due to the excellent cosmopolitan makeup of the town, with so many varying languages, people and cultures all mixing together? Are there any particular words or phrases that we can claim as our own? Because if I’m going to be castigated for having a fake English accent I’d like to console myself with knowing I have a genuine Beestonian one… Tim Pollard Nottingham’s Official Robin Hood

ne Lump Or Two?

ike the White Queen in ‘Alice Through the Looking Glass’’, I try to believe six impossible things before breakfast, but Trump becoming US President was a one too many. So when I found out that an ‘Alice in Wonderland’ themed café had opened up near the Nottingham Railway Station, I just had to go down the rabbit hole and find out all about it.

now it contains three floors crammed with antiques and collectables: real nostalgia trip down Memory Lane. There are two ways to reach the café. One is to hunt out the stairs amongst the shelves of bric a brac, while the other is more direct, being down the side alley, where signs and a mannequin direct you. Due to the high winds that day, Ash had had to lock those away, so the stairs it was.

The Wonderland Café is situated in the basement of the old Hopkinson building on Station Street, and began trading in December. It is the creation of Beestonian Ash Hudson, who lives in the Rylands, but is originally from Chesterfield. Ash had previously worked there selling watches from a stall. When the tearoom closed down, he had the crazy idea of running one himself, using his favourite book as inspiration. And so Wonderland was born. It is currently open seven days a week between 12 & 5pm.

The café area is quite large, with twelve tables and seating for fifty people. Motifs from the book are everywhere, although Ash was keen to point out that he has followed Carroll’s original novel, rather than the 1951 Disney film. Ash of course is the Mad Hatter. There isn’t really anyone else he could be. He employs two waitresses, who become The Red Queen and Alice, when they are looking after the customers. Of which there are many, especially on a Saturday. There is a small, but interesting menu, with teas, sandwiches, and a stew on offer. And of course cake, some of which come courtesy of our very own Beeston Brownie Company. (See issue 49 for their story).

Hopkinson’s began as a Victorian engineering business, but in 2010 the building became an arts centre. In fact I exhibited some photographs there in that year, as part of a Flickr group that I was involved in. But

Tea parties, either for two people, or groups, are welcomed, and themed events are in the pipeline for this year, the first being a ‘Lonely Queen of Hearts’ speed-dating event set for St Valentine’s Day.

The café has been kitted out with props sourced directly from Hopkinson’s. Someone that works in the building has specially made some of the more intricate and unusual items, while two flamingos came courtesy of eBay. Local graffiti artist ‘smallkid’ has used spray paint to create a forest scene of giant mushrooms along one wall, and a row of grinning Cheshire Cats and the signage outside. The Internet has been brilliant for Wonderland, as its story was one of the most locally shared on Facebook during 2016, with over 11,000 mentions. Ash originally wanted to open a café in Beeston, as he loves the town so much, and was looking at the former estate agents on Wollaton Road, but was beaten to it by what is now home to vintage café ‘Time For Tea’. The future looks exciting, as Ash has plans to turn the rest of the basement area into a bar/restaurant. He is going to launch a Kickstarter project in May, which we wish him luck with. ‘Drink Me’ cocktails anyone? Wonderland can be contacted on 07930 877496. CDF

FOOD!

t’s a new year and the gyms are full of people blinking like newborn fawns at the flashing dials of unknown machines. Regulars sigh, knowing only the toughest will keep up their new routines. Health food shops sit back; it’s their time to shine.

There is a national courgette shortage. Healthy eating adverts are everywhere. People hold their wobbly bits and sigh, knowing that if only they could have the discipline to make 5 days worth of packed lunch on a Sunday evening they would be True Adults. Food is the cause of so much guilt during the January purge. It feels extra naughty to some people to indulge in a chippy tea or eat out somewhere posh after the extravagance of Christmas. BUT NOT TO ME. This is important, as I guide you through the January blues with a sexy calorie count and a love of my own wobbly bits. If you find yourself adding lentils or quinoa or couscous to a meal in lieu of delicious pasta, or if you use a can of fizzy drink to make a chicken curry sauce, stop. Pasta is not the enemy here, and neither is a delicious korma. The enemy is the insane amount of marketing designed to make you feel bad about what you eat and how you look, and people are getting richer by the second while you spend your wages on stuff which tastes like the box your crimbo pressies came in. Pasta won’t kill you. If you’re convinced it’s the work of Satan, just put a bit less in your bowl or buy wholewheat. Likewise if you’re hell bent on a health drive, just chuck a handful of frozen veg into your sauce, you’ll feel virtuous without breaking

, What s the strangest thing , you ve ever seen on the High Street? We took a selection of responses from FB page Beeston Updated “There’s a guy who walks around barefooted all year round and another guy who walks his pet owl!” Jenny G. “When l was a little girl, there was a lovely sweet shop opposite Myfords (where the music shop was) and one Saturday l went in and there was a Shetland pony in there being fed popcorn” Angela W. “Legend has it there was a day of no canvassers” Tracie T.

“A talking lemon sole!” Naomi A. “Fastlane busking one Christmas, plying Jingle Bells on a one note squeaker. Tune was only recognizable by the rhythm” Martin C. “Our MP” Craig E. “The 3 drunken valentines revellers who at 2AM decided to sing Unchained Melody by The Righteous Brothers to the bee man. ‘I hunger for your – hic- touch’” Tom R.

the bank or your soul. Any veg is better than no veg. I’ve spent January eating from the 5pm priced-down range at my local supermarket thanks to literally everyone I know having a birthday just after Christmas. Selfish…. Weird recipes involving malt loaf and 9p steak slices have formed the basis of our diets for weeks, and do I feel bad about it? Of course not. My kid has the energy for 3 after school sports clubs and I work night shifts, so we’re doing something right. No need to spend hours soaking lentils until they transform into edible fart-nuggets, a bowl of spaghetti shapes and some tinned tomatoes keep us flying along nicely without me skimming the back pages of women’s magazines for ‘new fitness regimes’ and feeling awful about every part of my life. So eat the chips, feed your soul and don’t let the media tell you that any time of year is a time to change. Diet if you want to, but not because you feel you should. Enjoy those carbs and use the time you’d have spent looking at calories to read a book or play outside or take up needlework. New year, same old you. You’re lovely as you are. DL

G oo

he Flying Goose has been a part of Beeston for 15 years, a stalwart of a Chilwell Road that has seen an incredible amount of change. We caught up with Hilary Cook to find out 15 facts to mark 15 years of serving some of the best food in Beeston. Have a gander… 1. H ilary wasn’t always a café owner, she started out as a computer boffin: “I was a ‘computer operator’ at Bristol University, and moved on to be Operations Manager of all the operations system. This was between 1976 and 1984, when computers were room-sized boxes with lots of lights on.” 2. She knocked about with some pre-fame musical geniuses: “While in Bristol I would finish work on a Friday and go to the Dugout (legendary Bristol club situated in caves) where Massive Attack and Tricky would be DJ-ing.” 3. She’s not actually from Beeston, and a musical Zelig: “Sssshh! Yes, I’m from a place called Kinver in the West Midlands. I worked in a branch of Boots there, selling records, to, amongst others, Robert Plant and Roy Wood”. 4. The Flying Goose was a happy accident: “I originally ran a stencilling and paint effect shop on Chilwell Road, where ‘Beest on Ink’ is now. People would come in and drink coffee and cake, and I realised that was a better market. I set up a gallery with a café, thinking the food would be more of a side-project, but it proved so popular I moved into that.” 5. Her Welsh Rarebit is legendary: “It’s a self-taught recipe, but it’s proved hugely popular.” What’s the secret? “It’s a secret. That’s the point of a secret, to be secret. But it does have a mix of good cheeses, mustard and spring onion. And love. The rest is secret.” 6. BBC Radio 1 DJ Alice Levine worked there: “She worked Saturdays, and was great, sharp-witted, good fun and an all-

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se Fare round lovely person. It’s not a surprise she has had such success.” 7. Buddhist Monks think it’s ace: “A monk called Lama Ngawang from The School of Great Compassion was constructing a complex sand mandala in Beeston Methodist Church. He’d drop by and have lunch, and we all accompanied him down to the Weir Field to complete the Mandala Ceremony.” 8. Café Roya started there: “Roya would run a restaurant from The Flying Goose in the evenings, catering for 15 covers. It was phenomenally popular, so she took the leap and set up her own place on Wollaton Road which is doing very well. (It recently won Best Vegetarian Restaurant at the UK Food Awards). I still make her ice-cream though.”

9. I t survived the tramworks: “It was a strange time, seeing the entire road dug-up and replaced with something new. We were right in the middle of it, but made the most: we set up a little pavement café, and people would venture in as they’d come to check out the works. It was a huge upheaval, but we weathered it ok.” 10. Shane Meadows is a fan: “He was a regular for a while, when he’s not away filming. A few years ago we held an event in aid of Teenage Cancer Trust

Top-notch contributors this issue: Matt Turpin, Christian Fox, Jade Moore, Jimmy Notts, Scott Bennett, Christopher Frost, Debra Urbacz, Tim Pollard, Ric Salinger, Lulu Davenport, Colin Tucker, Joe Earp, John Cooper, Tom Roberts, Daisy Leverington, Donna Bentley and Deman Printed by Pixels & Graphics, Beeston

where people could drop in and meet him. We raised about £500, and he was lovely. His kids love cheese on toast: not the rarebit, but the simpler form.” 11. As is Benjamin Zephaniah: “He was in Nottingham filming Celebrity Antiques Road Trip, and the production team rang me up as he was looking for good vegan food. We were busy, and I didn’t realise it was him, so told them I was totally full. He then turned up in a beautiful velvet suit and had lunch. We didn’t have any hot sauce – he loves really hot sauce - but he seemed to enjoy it”. 12. It’s quite the home for poets: “We used to run a regular poetry event with (Beeston poetry legend) John Lucas, who would bring down some wonderful poets: David Belbin, John Harvey, Derek Buttress, Deirdre O’Byrne and many more. We were variously described as ‘Beeston’s Left Bank’ and ‘The Smallest Arts Venue in the East Midlands’.” 13. It’s also a handy music venue: “We’ve had some great acts come by. The Wildflowers were a particular favourite: they’ve supported Robert Plant, played Glastonbury, so were a real catch. The night out we had with them later on…that was the most fun I’ve had on a weekend.” 14. She’s not just a dab hand in the kitchen, but also behind a camera: “I’ve been making greeting cards from my photography for years, and sell them in Nottingham and Whitby, a place I love to visit.” 15. It’s time to move on: “I’ve done fifteen years of this, and loved it. I’ve had some wonderful times, and met some lovely people, many who have become great friends. I’m close to retirement age so want to concentrate on other things, find new challenges. I’m hugely proud of The Flying Goose, and want it to live on, but with a fresh pair of hands and a new, innovative outlook. Phil Langran plays the Flying Goose on the 5th March, 4pm, free entry. If you’d like to run your own, much loved café, drop in and have a word with Hilary. LB

Stockists: Rye, The Hop Pole, The Crown, The White Lion, The Star, The Greyhound, Flying Goose, Mish Mash Gallery, The Malt Shovel, The Guitar Spot, Broadgate Laundrette, Bubba Tea, The Bean, Beeston Library, Cafe ROYA, Newsagent on Chilwell Road, Metro, Beeston Marina Bar and Cafe, Attenborough Nature Reserve, Pottle of Blues, Greenhood, Beeston Nursery, Oxfam Books, L’Oliva.

OXJAM ,

They think it s all over...

hy, you may very well ask, is someone still going on about ‘Oxjam’ in February? Wasn’t that all done and dusted months ago?

Certainly the highest profile event - the ‘Takeover’ - was in midOctober but there was another event - quite a lucrative one - in November (‘Classical Oxjam’) and then it has taken ages to gather in all donations and sponsorships, the last one not appearing in our account until 23 December. It was therefore not ’til early January that we could say with certainty that we’d accounted for everything and paid over a nice big chunk of dosh to Oxfam. You probably already know that our final total in 2016 was a not-tobe-sniffed-at £14 thousand (£14,020 to be precise) which we were able to announce in early December because we knew of money coming our way even though it hadn’t been paid in. To set it in a national context, that was the second highest amount raised in the whole of the country - in fact, in the last three years, Oxjam Beeston has been in the ‘top three’ every year (2014: 3rd, 2015: 1st, 2016: 2nd). Not that it’s about competing but it does indicate that Oxjam Beeston is just about the biggest Oxjam Festival, consistently, in the UK.

After six years - and more than £60,000 raised for Oxfam - Beeston has become used to the Festival - and ‘Takeover’ in particular as a unique and much-anticipated community event. But like the Carnival. ‘Party in the Park’, Christmas lights switch-on and, most topically, The Chinese New Year Celebration, it can’t be taken for granted. As we all know, and as we have seen, the Borough Council has no funds to pay for these kinds of events - who knows how the arms-length company, Liberty Leisure, will handle anything like this going forward? ‘The Party in the Park’ 2016 was heavily sponsored to make it feasible and happily the weather was kind to the Council and all of us. As for the others, they are either run by volunteers or at the mercy of empty coffers at the Council and in neither case can they be taken for granted. This is very sad, of course, and extremely short-sighted of whoever is responsible, be they local or national politicians. It isn’t just about giving people a great time, the Oxjam Takeover, for one, clearly brings in people to the town who are in celebratory and generous mood. Local venues and traders are keen to be involved and happy to welcome paying customers, whether they are buying drinks or food, even if they are not directly involved. So what of Oxjam Beeston 2017? I have made it clear that I will NOT be the so-called ‘Takeover Manager’ this year, although I do hope to run one or two of the ancillary fund-raising events. Perhaps others of you out there might also consider getting involved as ‘gig makers’ (as Oxjam calls them) that is organisers of one-off fund-raising events. However, if there is going to be the ‘jewel-in-the-crown’ Takeover event, someone with the time, skills and energy to commit to the project needs to step forward. Otherwise, folks, it ain’t gonna happen! And then, we will sadly be able to complete the phrase “They think it’s all over - it is now!” Let’s hope not.

e car y a ded ll d Fu d fun for an sions ged a ses dren rs l a chi -5 ye 0

Nur chil turing d the care in he Bee ar t of ston

Call us now on

0115 7750185 to book a visit and find out why our families love us! www.beestonnursery.co.uk

Colin Tucker Anybody wishing to know more is welcome to contact Colin by email - colintucker18@gmail.com

BEESTUMPED THIS MONTH WE’VE GONE BACK TO THE PUB QUIZ FORMAT. CAN YOU FACE OFF AGAINST THESE PROBABLY NOT FIENDISH QUESTIONS? 1. C ERN is world famous for being home to the Large Hadron Collider, but what other invention was made inside its walls? 2. A nd just what was the name of the CERN pioneer who invented the answer to Q1?

can

YOU

find the Beest?

3. T hat inventor shares part of his last name with a famous writer, but what novel did that writer publish nearly 75 years after their first? 4. T hat novel was the second most preordered book on Amazon ever. What was the first? 5. T he author of that novel recently expanded the cinema universe of that long standing franchise. Who played the main character in the film? 6. B efore playing that character this actor also garnered acclaim for playing which famous physicist? 7. T hat physicist was portrayed on film once before in 2004, but who by? 8. T hat actor’s most famous role is of a well-known detective, but who played that character the most? 9. F inally, that actor died in the same year as the release of which seminal Beatles album? ANSWERS: 1.The Internet 2.Tim Berners Lee 3. Go Set A Watchman 4. Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows 5. Eddie Redmayne 6. Stephen Hawking 7.Benedict Cumberbatch 8. Basil Rathbone 9. Sgt Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band

CODEWORD

The Beest is out and about in our great town of Beeston, but.... can YOU guess where he is? Head on over to our facebook page to make your answer - and see what other people think. Winners get a no-prize - it’s all to play for! www.facebook.com/TheBeestonian DC

y yup Beestonites, don’t you just love the New Year?

The new found gym bunnies are slogging it away for a few weeks pounding away those turkey/ biscuit/ and/or pudding pounds, leaving the pubs and bars virtually secluded: no waiting for Dave and the office lot to make up their mind on their tipple of choice during their annual excursion to the local boozeries. There’s also a mad scramble of offers to lure us into eateries - ten pounds off here, get a free 10p sweetie mix there and luckily for us even brand spanking new establishments for our leisure pleasure. First on the agenda, The Berliner, located on the high road. Local lads James and James of the Froth coffee shop venture have yet again joined forces to bring you a venue which combines two great foodstuffs, pizza and err cocktails with a dash of live music in the form of late night deejays and live bands in the pipeline. Achingly trendy the bar’s decor is inspired by trips to Berlin aiming to provide a hangout for students and shoppers alike. Myself and newbie Beeston Beats fellow contributor Donna Bentley, headed off to perform an undercover report with two accounts of the same bar - that’s twice the feedback without leaving your armchair. While I supped away on a few cheeky cocktails, Donna actually did some reviewing...

The mid-January lull has hit hard. Payday seems an unreasonable number of miles away, and the dark evenings still creep up on us like the bogey man. In amongst the lingering sense of January malaise I had a bit of respite as I was quite excited to learn of a new venue arriving in Beeston. I saw this as chance to break up the usual routine of real ale pubs. As much as I love nothing more than a craft beer and a scotch egg (or several, as determined by the magnitude of beer consumption), it’s not always what I am in the mood for. Beeston needed something new. So, furnished with a fresh 20 in my pocket I wandered out into the evening chill and headed (with Lulu) towards Chilwell High Road, filled with curious anticipation. As we entered the bar I immediately felt the buzz. The place already looked well established and distinctly reminded me of the vibe you get when out in the city.This place was most certainly fresh and edgy, a welcome break from the plethora of traditional pubs that dominates the Beeston drinking scene. I had the privilege of being away some time in Berlin, and could clearly see where the inspiration for the bar came from: creative, contemporary décor, with a bit of cool thrown in for good measure. The Berliner seemed like an oasis of fresh vibe and activity when compared with the calm quiet of the night outside. It almost didn’t seem to

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fit into Beeston, but I was very glad it was there. The crowd was full of new faces, with a diverse and refreshing age range of clientele. I clocked the D.j setting up in the corner and wondered what the order of the day was in terms of music. The smell of pizza was incredibly alluring, but I refrained. This challenge, a raging battle between my

stomach and my brain, (which was also in conflict with itself) was exacerbated when I noticed several tables furnished with punters all enjoying the pizza. I really did feel tempted. I stayed strong and made a mental note to come back for the 2 for 1 pizza deal before 5pm. As we got to the bar we realised that we had arrived at 8.45pm, just in time to take advantage of the cocktail happy hour: 2 cocktails for £8 before 9pm - it seemed impolite not to. The bar was busy, but it was also very well staffed and we managed to get both our drinks orders in, just in time.The cocktail

menu comprised of some wellknown old favourites and a few newbies, with the addition of the Long Eaton Ice Tea, presumably a fresh spin on an old classic. I wasn’t quite sure what a Bubble Bath was but Lulu and I decided to take the plunge, and so round 1 was bought. Getting distracted by the hub of the bar I didn’t notice what exactly went into a Bubble Bath. I snapped back to attention when a nice lady in the queue allowed me to jump in front. An order for a Long Eaton Ice Tea was made and Lulu and I challenged the bar staff to a cocktail shake-off. Drinks were made in a timely manner and it wasn’t long before the Bubble Bath, complete with passion fruit float, was catching the eyes of nearby bystanders. By which time, the DJ was set up and ready to go. Mellow house music filled the bar. The volume was audible but not so loud to the point where you couldn’t talk. Drinks were going down well and the evening was lost in conversation. Overall if you haven’t yet had a chance to get to the Berliner, the upcoming ‘unlimited pizza’ nights and cocktail masterclass alone are valid reasons; add on live bands and acts and we definitely recommend you pay the bar a visit. Lulus input- ‘ummm Bubble Bath cocktail nom nom (reads cocktail menu) wait a min RAW EGG?? Better line us up another Long Eaton Ice Tea… LD and DB

Gossip from the

HIVEMIND

+++A new year dawns and at Beestonian Towers we’re staggering into the light after a series of ‘editorials’ (thinly veiled excuses to get writers in a pub together and see what happens when you empty a wine lake into them). Just as we start to feel something like normal again, we realise we’ve somehow got to Issue 50 of this magazine *scamper back into the pub. Here’s a photo from our last get-together, where we were all evidently delighted with each other’s company. +++

+++ Which brings us neatly to Donald Trump, who didn’t take kindly to our last issue and the fact we didn’t make his BESTonian. +++

+++ Whatjamean that’s fake news? It’s just an alternative fact, surely. +++ +++News that a row of trees had been snapped by some terminal gits was met with the aghast it deserved across Beeston. But where there is bad, let good appear, and sure enough Nottinghamshire Wildlife Trust volunteered to buy new trees, with the local fire brigade offering to plant them for free. Sterling work all! +++ +++ Red faces all round when a local architecture firm submitted plans and an illustration to stick a new building on Chilwell Road. The Hive (no relation) is a mix of shops and offices. Looks alright, until someone of this parish noticed that the position of a lamppost over a shop called ‘Blackcurrant’’s sign made it look like a racist artist had knocked up the picture. A media flurry, some speedy redesigns and a less offensive version was put out. Heaven knows we don’t need more racist division in the word. +++

Thanks!

Huge thanks to all of our contributors, sponsors, stockists, regular readers and anyone who has picked this up for the first time (hello!)

Sponsorship Rates Want to advertise with us? We rely on advertising to keep running. email us at thebeestonian@gmail.com for rates.

+++ Not so good over at the council, where the increasingly bumbling ruling group decided that we didn’t need Chinese New Year celebrations in Beeston anymore, despite it becoming part of Beeston’s fabric. Obviously leader Richard Jackson and his fellow councillors would prefer to spend the money on consultants who get paid big bucks to attract a developer to do up the Square. The Square that still has no developer, no plan, and will remain empty for a few more years. Priorities in order, Broxtowe!+++

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