The Beestonian Issue 35

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The

Beestonian Shake, rattle and read...

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B page 16 ue! Iss

It shook houses, woke many people up and made those already up and about to jump out of their skins. But what was the Beeston Boom? On the 6th of February, at around 7.10 am, a loud, deep boom was heard all over the Rylands, but as far afield as The Crown and The Nurseryman. People rushed to their windows to see if a car had crashed, an earthquake had struck or if a mushroom cloud was rising over Clifton. But nothing. It came, it boomed, it disappeared without trace. We set to work trying to find the cause. The most obvious culprit was an earth tremor: the previous month one had been felt after rumbling out from Leicestershire. Yet the British Geological Society reported nothing of significant across the whole of the British Isles that day. Had a meteor exploded in the morning sky? Again, there wasn’t

Issue no.

35

a single sighting, and astronomical monitoring stations also reported no significant activity. Without an obvious explanation, more esoteric explanations came to the fore. Were the bitterns, those shy heron-like visitors to the Nature Reserve, known for a loud booming mating call, invested in megaphones to increase their chances this year? Was it a mass aural hallucination? Was Godzilla smashing the town up: inconsiderate, just as it seems to be coming together after years of being rent asunder. We were baffled, but then we got an answer out of the blue, from a source who came forward but was keen not to be named. Apparently, this had happened before. The source had worked at one of the scrapyards in Dunkirk, where cars are regularly crushed. When doing this, precautions are taken: anything explosive is removed, and the fuel tanks emptied

and vented to ensure they were free of fuel. While this procedure is usually diligently carried out, accidents can happen, and a car can be crushed while still holding fuel. Under great pressure, and with metal on metal causing sparks, the resulting explosion can be very, very loud. The noise easily travels across the very flat floodplains before slamming into Rylands, causing many to drop their toast. But what about the time of day? My source explained that work on the yards starts early, so is entirely consistent. It looks like this is the answer: nothing to do with fracking, the tram, or super-weapons being tested in Barton and Fabis. So a mystery solved. But fear not. Inside this issue we have much more strangeness to baffle. We are also now 16 pages big: you lot keep doing so much stuff 12 pages just couldn’t reflect it. Read on: it’s a real banger of an issue. MB


A

The University of

x j e f s Beestonia view A

regular column, highlighting views from people who have lived in Beeston for years longer than most of us. To my mind, these are the most important people around. Take heed!

Jean Cameron is a wonderful person. A lively and busy lady who celebrated her 90th birthday last year and is one of the most honest I have met in recent times. I went to see her for tea and doggie shaped shortbread biscuits recently to ask her some ‘wider view’ questions. How long have you lived in or been associated with Beeston? I have lived here since 1953, which is when I was appointed by the department of Education at the University of Nottingham to train Science teachers. Can you tell us a bit about your background? I moved on to be the Warden of Florence Boot Hall, the Hall of Residence at the Beeston end of the campus. Later I moved from there to live nearby, a little closer to Beeston. What's your earliest memory of Beeston? A self-contained, pleasant little town. You could get everything you wanted, groceries and clothing, without going into Nottingham. There was great entertainment in the cinemas. I used my bicycle to get everywhere! What's the best thing about Beeston right now? It’s such an interesting and lively place, with a wonderful combination of old and young and a mixture of cultures. I feel like it’s a great representation of how England is now and, as such, much more interesting than a ‘perceived’ English place like Oxford or Bath. I feel like it’s connected and alive. And the worst? Well, I know the tram works have been upsetting for lots of people, but they are only temporary. What are your hopes for the future of Beeston? I would really like to increase awareness of the varied, rich history in the town. The Civil War affected it in so many ways and it has continued to evolve ever since. There are now Blue Plaques in place to show where influential people lived and annual Heritage Days allow the public access to important buildings, but there are so many other interesting places to be uncovered and explored. I will continue my work with the Beeston and District Civic Society to discover and highlight these. I think there’s a strong case for a Cultural History Museum in Beeston, I would love to see that, it would be so interesting. Karen Attwood

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hen a developer eyes a spot to place their latest project on, they will look at the local infrastructure, the surrounding buildings, demographic data. This is all well and good: such things are essential to ensuring the new development fits into the area in a practical manner. No developer would want to spend a fortune on a building which was inaccessible by car; wasn’t linked up to the mains or was of utterly no relevance to the people living nearby. One thing they do neglect, however, is the feel of the town. Unless they actually live in the town they’re designing for, how can they assess the underlying fabric of the town? I’ve lived in many places abroad and around the UK: each one has a different feeling, a different ambience, which became more apparent the longer I spent in each place. How do we expect a developer to be sympathetic in their plans to this unquantifiable quality? I was recently invited to speak to MA Built Environment students at The University of Nottingham. Due to some fantastic liaison work initiated and fostered by the recently knighted Sir / Professor Martyn Poliakoff, these students are spending a chunk of their course using Beeston as a real-world ‘laboratory’: designing state of the art, cutting edge buildings for the second stage of development that will begin soon after the tram rolls into town. This involves them taking into account a huge amount of raw data in detail; even carefully monitored how the sun moves across the area – important if you’re planning to power the place with solar panels. The idiosyncrasies are obviously subjective; but the response among Beestonians has been positive so we think we succeeded in some small way. I also advised them to engage with Beeston thoroughly: Facebook has some excellent discussion sites where the future of the town is discussed in a rational constructive manner –I particularly recommend Beeston Updated. I told them to read The Beeston Express, visit the library archives, but most importantly, engage directly with Beeston. Visit it. Walk around it. Talk to the people here. While it may at times seem vague, when designing a building these experiences will prove vital. The best buildings, the best developments, in the world are those done when the developer fully understands – and loves – the area they build in. One size does not fit all. MB


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o one could have expected it, but several of the houses received postcards all the way from Australia, sent by complete strangers no less. Pretty baffling, no? One such postcard said; “Dear residents of 16 Hope St Beeston, you have a great house. Have a nice time living in there. We wish you love and peace from halfway across the world (Sydney Australia). Hope you get the chance to reply.”

Families on Hope Street were woken up this month to a strange but lovely surprise...

Now, isn’t that sweet? Peace and love from Australia. Needless to say, we at The Beestonian had to find out more and we discovered that Dear Hope Street is a huge project run by native Australian Alex Desebrock. I chatted to her via e-mail and she told me all about herself and this project. “I'm Alex. I live in Brunswick, Melbourne. Brunswick is a lovely place to live. You can look it up on google street view and look at where I live if you like. Because that's what I did, we did to Beeston.” So how on earth did she come up with the idea of sending postcards around the world? “I've created a few projects that connect children to adults they don't know (strangers, if you will). This is because I don't think adults hear enough from children in general. They are pretty great, but we tend to keep them in schools and child-only areas. The average person does not have a daily insightful conversation with a child. And this, I think, is a shame. “I wanted to do a postcard project with children. And at the time, I was getting a bit worried about privacy vs connection. The idea came to me to look up houses on google street view. And one of the first searches I did in Johannesburg, South Africa had a Hope Street. And that was that.” Alex gets the kids to draw a picture of the house on the front and write a message on the inside. “I sit down with the children for about 10 minutes and explain the project before they begin. I talk about how Google Street view makes me feel amazed but also a little worried. They took all these photos without us even really knowing. But that it also is pretty cool to see what the streets of the UK, Argentina or Finland look like. We also talk about random acts of kindness & the difference in the project if the postcards were from adults.” I asked how the kids respond to such a complex idea. “In general they are pretty excited about the idea of a postcard going to a stranger. Some do get a bit creeped out about Google Street View. Generally though, what they're thinking about the project is reflected in the postcard they write.”

They have sent postcards all over the world; from Beeston, to Peru, Japan and hundreds of other places. It seems there is a Hope Street everywhere. I asked how many postcards have been sent. The answer seems to be getting on for thousands.

“Our first batch was 756 from a festival in Perth called Awesome. This latest batch (including Beeston) was another 599.” She gave me a link to one of her favourites; a postcard sent to Barcelona that simply says “I am wearing a Spanish Dress today. From Zoe, age 5.” She told me they even sometimes get responses. There have been a few from our very own Beestonians, but I won’t copy them here. If you want to see them you’ll have to go on to the website, or get down to Hope Street I suppose. I think that this is on the one hand a truly lovely idea. Teaching children about this global community in which we all live. Encouraging communication. Creating ties. On the other hand though Alex has raised a very valuable point. People often say things like “this world is coming apart,” but actually it isn’t. Our world is connecting, and very quickly. On the Dear Hope Street website, it says “Is google streetview a good or bad thing? Is it a way to create connection and empathy with other places, or is it a breach on our privacy?” Alex Desebrock has highlighted a small but important aspect of this. Google didn’t ask anyone’s permission before photographing all of our houses. Similarly Facebook, Twitter, Google, are all amassing information to create consumer profiles, often without overt consent, but consent by ignorance (has anyone ever properly read Facebook’s or Twitter’s terms & conditions?). Our e-mails and search history are stored by our internet service providers. Our texts and phone conversations are kept by our phone providers. And that is just the beginning. Is this good? Well, Alex says she doesn’t know. Neither do I. I’m hugely glad that these children reached out across the world – it is only an innocent outreaching of kindness and community, and these kids, and Alex, are performing a lovely act – but I believe we all have to think very strongly about the deeper issue; what this means for us, for our privacy, and for our children. http://dearhopestreet.com/2015/02/09/and-then-they-landed-in-the-uk/ CF


Chilwell:

An Early Garden Suburb

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iterally in the next few months, Chilwell will be part of the new tram route. The line will cut right through the heart of the Chilwell Inham Nook Estate. The line from Beeston will go down Chilwell Road and by Central College. After the College stop the line will turn right (Northwest) on to a new reserved route, following the route of a stream, through residential areas of Chilwell. There will be stops at Cator Lane, Eskdale Drive, with a penultimate stop at Inham Road. The line will then terminate at Toton Lane Park and Ride Tram Stop. Most of the area within Chilwell of where the tram route is going belonged to the Pearson family who were horticulturists. The area was well known for it’s beauty. Someone once said: “all you can see in Chilwell is field after field of orchards and flower beds”. It all started with John Pearson, who was then in the hosiery trade, he was a very keen amateur florist. It is said that one day at Derby whilst visiting a show, Pearson purchased a pair of Carnations in large pots and he feared that they would be changed if he left them where they were. It is reported that he left his horse at Derby and walked eleven miles, carrying a large pot under each arm. He then walked back to Derby to fetch his horse. His love of flowers led him to turning his passion into a successful business. He inherited the old Chilwell Manor House, with an orchard attached. Later on, he purchased land wherever he could and planted about one hundred acres of orchards. The orchard was the largest sweet apple orchard in the country at the time. The family also developed the growth of roses, chrysanthemums and other flowers in

The Chilwell Ghost House Photo Credit: Picture the Past.

glasshouses. The Directory for 1832 names ‘the extensive nurseries kept by Mr. John Pearson’. Pearson eventually removed from Chilwell to Lowdham in Nottinghamshire. However Pearson certainly left his mark in the area. Most of Pearson’s orchards and flower fields continued to be used right up until the mid 1960’s. My Grandparents moved to Chilwell in 1967 just as the area was being developed into housing estates. My Grandparents and Mum lived at the top of Greenland Crescent. My Mum recalls when they moved there in 1967, much of the area was still orchards and flower beds. At the back of their house (Oakdale Drive, Field Lane area) were rose fields and they were still being worked. Eventually all of the old orchards were removed for the Inham Nook Estate. The estate was built by Beeston and Stapleford Urban District Council. Many of the old orchards and fields were compulsory purchased. John Royston Pearson’s presence in the area is still felt, with roads such as Pearson Avenue, Elm Avenue, Oak Acre and Field Lane. It is interesting to note that the Chilwell Ghost House or Ash Flat House was also at one time owned by John Pearson. Many people know of the Chilwell Ghost from Alan Dance’s excellent book. The original ‘Ghost House’ was a small cottage which was on a small lane which led to Stapleford. I always wondered if the workmen who were constructing the tram would find the body of the murdered pedlar and finely solve the case of the Chilwell Ghost? Up to now no body has been recovered unfortunately, so therefore the mystery of the murdered Pedlar continues. Joe Earp

John Pearson Photo Credit: The Paul Nix Collection.


The habits of rabbits T

he legend goes they were released by university students years ago. Were they the victims of deranged science experiments? Forced to smoke cigarettes, wear lipstick, or blasted with gamma rays until the slightest provocation turned them into giant monsters? Or were they some guy’s pet and he left the hutch open? Wherever they came from, Beeston is undoubtedly changed now that the Urban Rabbits are loose. Lord Beestonia laid out the plan. Our office wall adorned with maps and intel, he explained that Urban Rabbit activity was centred around Derby Carpark so, armed with binoculars, camera, dark clothing, and carrots, we headed out into the night.

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ast issue we talked to Chris Packham, and one thing we left out of the interview was his idea that we should embrace urban wildlife foxes; Muntjac deer; swallows and swifts, friends feathered and furred. I was not to know back then that just round the corner from the hall we met him in, our own urban wildlife was outperforming other towns. We have urban rabbits. Since then, they’ve become a bit famous round the Broadgate Park / Derby Street area of town. As Christian and I were to discover on our hunt, people leave out food for the furry hoppers during the lean months of winter. A nibbled carrot and some fresh lettuce leaves were testament to this. So, what of the rabbit we spotted? The appropriately named Mr Fox and I observed it for some time. It was bright white, almost radiantly so, erect in the corner of the carpark. Was it frozen in fear? We approached it gingerly, carrots held out in front of us as a gesture of friendship. Was this to be our Watership Down moment? Or our Monty Python and the Holy Grail massacre? As we approached, its ear seemed to twitch. Carefully, I readied my camera. This would be the scoop. The elusive Beeston Bunnies caught exclusively on camera, in the press for the first time ever. Forget the Loch Ness Monster, the Yeti, The Essex Lion. This was to be our moment.

Derby carpark was deserted but for a jovial gang of young Beestonians socialising and hoping to catch a sight of the rabbits themselves. We circumnavigated the carpark, but found only traces; a scattering of lettuce and a half devoured carrot. At least we knew we were close.

It then became clear that we had spent the last few silent minutes stalking a Greggs paper bag, which had caught on some bushes. The twitching ear was little more than a greasy corner being caressed by the breeze. It did look like a rabbit, however. From a distance. In the dark. To two fools who probably should make like a rabbit and eat more carrots. We decided to abandon our hunt and go home. LB

Hours passed. Well, minutes, but it was cold so they felt like hours. Nothing. Forlorn with defeat, Lord Beestonia and I headed back to the carpark to part ways. I patted his shoulder. “Never mind, my Lord. The readers will still admire us for our courage.” But then, suddenly, there! In the corner of the carpark, in white silhouette against the dark thicket. The unmistakeable shape of a rabbit….. CF

Final note: if you do see the rabbits, leave them be. They frequently have well-meaning people try and catch them, perhaps assuming they have escaped from the nearby pet shop, but this can put unnecessary stress on the animals. They’re doing pretty well, and to quote Chris Packham ‘Urban wildlife is something we should cherish. It’s on our doorstep, living wild, living free. We should relish our connection with this: it’s ten times more fulfilling to see a fox flit across your street than a tiger on your telly’.


thegrauniad

Let’s move to... Beeston, Nottinghamshire Debate rages as to whether Beeston house prices will rise or fall as a result of the tram. It is certain to attract some new people to the area, maybe like the following correspondent... Hi peeps! My name is Genevieve and I'm soon going to move to the area. Who knows, I might even be your new neighbour! You see, I was really intrigued by the 'Let's move to...' feature in the Guardian a while back. If you haven't read it yet, just google 'Guardian let's move to Beeston'. Such as great description of what I've found to be a charming little enclave. The main thing that drew me was the house prices, as I currently live in Royal Leamington Spa. I'm going to be swapping Regency Splendour for Victorian Opulence, with around a hundred thousand pounds to play with to boot! For the last few months I've been match.com-ing potential suitors in the area, and spent a couple of weekends with a charming (if a little short) man who lives in Long Eaton. He's shown me all the local sights, taken me to all the other nearby towns for comparison, but none of them are a patch on my Beeston! For starters, the restaurants and pubs are just fab! It's a good job I'm piloxing (a cross between pilates and boxing) to keep the pounds off. Miles better than zoga (zumba/yoga). I've stuffed myself full of pizza in Delish, just after stocking up on chutneys from Local Deli for Local People over the road. We had a knockout Italian in Giannis (next to the lovely veggie Royal CafÊ near Lidl - not to be confused with the Thailand Royal opposite Sainsburys). I never saw myself as a pub-goer, but there are so many delightful watering holes in Beeston that I'll be a local in all of them! The Lion, the Hop Shovel, the First Past The Post, the Malt Pole, the White Crown, they're all pretty special, but my favourite has to be the one near 'the

roach' as it is known - I can't remember the name of it as I got quite squiffy after sampling far too many beers, but I think it was something horsey. I have to say I was quite disappointed with the Victory though - I was told it was a lovely railway hotel with trains running past, not a social club for ex-servicemen. I think people have got mixed up with a different pub in Sandy Acres or StapLe-Ford or somewhere else nearby. And I can't forget all the events put on in the old Burton's warehouses near the college! Comedy, music, markets, art - it's such a fantastic venue definitely up my street. And talking of streets, I still haven't decided exactly where in Beeston I want to live, but I do know that I need off-road parking for the Range Rover and my son Zebedee's Saxo. I don't want students writing swear words on them in silly string like they did last summer. Wherever I live needs to be near a tram stop. The tram seems like such an exotic and metropolitan way to travel. I caught one to Bull Wall to see what the fuss was about, and I felt

like I could have been in Oslo or Prague. Besides, I absolutely loathe buses! Thanks to the digital revolution I can live anywhere, although I will need to pop down to London now and again for meetings with my boss. I landed a role as publicist, working on the Awareness Week for Awareness Weeks. Unfortunately it clashes with Fostering Fortnight this year, which means I've got my work really cut out. A friend of my sister lived in West Bridgton for a time, and asked why I wouldn't want to move there. I've never been, but the thing that puts me off is that Ken Clarke is the local MP. Despite my wealth, education and taste I am still a socialist after all. I know that Beeston currently has a Tory MP, Anne Sourby, but rumour has it that she's really unlikely to get elected again in May. Which is probably around the time I will be moving north. So step aside Ms Sourby, you need to make room for me! No doubt you'll hear me in one of the pubs come election night mine's a half of Harvest Pole! JC


Going Wild Y

in Beeston

ou really would think that today's Springwatch-loving, wildlife-savvy, seen-itall-man generation would be able to tell the difference between an upside down duck; a weasel; a mink; a log; a Jacobs Cream Cracker tin, and that must-see megaspecies......an OTTER! But no, these are all the exotica that have been breathlessly reported as Otter sightings at the Attenborough Nature Reserve over recent times.

If there is a theme to this month’s issue it is misidentifying wildlife. Mike Spencer from Beeston Wildlife Group tells us why otters are the Loch Ness Monster’s of Attenborough Nature Reserve…

Then, when least expected, up pops the real thing, albeit mis-identified in the excitement of the moment as a SEAL (was that Grey or Common I hear you aficionados cry). Everyone's shouting ‘show us the pics’ - and show them the pics the man did. And there it was, not a seal at all but a great big bruiser of a dog otter, patrolling his hunting territory around the Attenborough Nature Reserve!

seen an Otter swim along the river and into the reserve". Coo, says the ranger (yawn, we've heard all this before) sure it wasn't an upside down duck, or floating log, or even the neighbourhood cat! "No", says Joe Public (it was actually a Jane Public, it’s that’s a phrase), “it was definitely an otter”. So, up on the sightings board it went "otter on river near reserve".

Then the seen-it-all-before brigade got stuck in - "what do they (Joe or Jane Doe) know” they cry “It must have been an upside down duck, a biscuit tin or just perhaps another seal”

But that was three years ago, ever since it's been back to upside down ducks, mink, gnarled logs and other floating ephemera being mistaken for otters- you really don't want to know!

But in this case it was a couple of very special Joe's and Jane's - they would give Young Chris P (regular readers would know of whom I refer) a run for his money when it comes to wildlife know-how - so you can take it from me that otters are about at Attenborough. So get down there now, you never know what you might see - for comparison purposes, otters are sleek and furry, Jacobs Cream Cracker tins are yellow and square shaped!

Then, just a few short weeks ago, in pops a member of the public to that wonder floating cafe called the Attenborough Nature Centre......"we've just

Mike Spencer www.facebook.com/beestonwildlife

Beeston in January W

e all know January is meant to be the most miserable month of the year. It’s typically cold, dark and in my case carting with it an extra carrier bag’s worth of cellulite and a looming credit card bill containing the cost of Christmas; a list of long forgotten and grossly underestimated transactions. Stats tell us of depression; stress; divorce… Just in case any of us forgot to be miserable, on the 19th of January you couldn’t switch a device on that didn’t tell you “Blue Monday” was upon us… not good. Good news for me then that living in Beeston there were plenty of reasons not to be miserable too. Gloommonger statisticians: up yours. January for me was littered with goodness, a combination of simple pleasures and tons of events I managed to attend in our brilliant bijou town. It all kicked off with Parkrun on January 1st where sprits and attendance were particularly high though the temperature wasn’t.

On Blue Monday itself I looked forward to the Beeston Film Club at Café Roya, where we enjoyed an evening of film and food for the small fee of £8. An excellent deal as I also left the evening with a couple of new friends. The outstanding highlight of January for me was the film festival over the weekend of the 22nd, a fab celebration of local and not so local film, and an awards ceremony broadcast live across the internet. This was all hosted by the White Lion and presented an opportunity to sample their excellent coffee and delicious (though somewhat secret) tapas. Amidst all this were visits to Belle and Jerome, the Bean, Relish, Crown, Star and Vic for lunches, drinks or meetings with friends, family and Beestonian colleagues and an invite to the Oxjam Team meeting. But alas, there is only so much excitement a girl can take in January and there was more than enough to keep me happy. So I waved a cheery ta’rah to January, diverting fewer funds towards the cost of Christmas than I should have and looking to upgrade to an “I heart Beeston” bag to stuff a bit more cellulite into! MH


Alan Birchall – Potter “When I was about 20 I was doing a science degree at a college in Luton where I stumbled upon a ceramics department and had sudden desire to do pottery, but it wasn’t until I retired from being a GP that I was able to pursue it. Four days after seeing my last patient I started a City & Guilds at the Arthur Mee Centre in Stapleford. I did this for 4 years and then had my pottery studio built behind my house. I haven’t looked back since and have been seriously potting for about 8 years.”

2015 IS BEESTON'S CREATIVE YEAR The Beestonian & Creative Beeston are working together in running a weekly article each Thursday featuring a Beeston-based creative: illustrators, artists, musicians, actors, writers and much much more. If you are, or if you know a local creative genius that deserves some exposure, then please get in touch. We have quite a few already, but love hearing about more. Send them through to thebeestonian@gmail.com. Here are some excerpts from previous interviews. Please find the full articles at:

ouryear.creativebeeston.co.uk

Sarah Daykin- Jewellery Maker If you’ve ever been around Barton’s market, you’ve probably had your eye caught by the work of Sarah Daykin, the talented craftswoman behind Zebra Jewellery. A hobbyist from her teens, she made he step to go professional 4 years ago and she happily announces that she is “still going strong! … I liked the idea of being my own boss, working from home and doing something that I really enjoyed doing. I also absolutely love gemstones, so it was a way that I could incorporate my love of making things with my love of gemstones”

Mair Perkins illustration for Creative Beeston


Scott Bennett – Comedian

Megan Taylor – Writer “Writing is the only thing I’ve ever felt truly passionate about. I always wanted a job that involved writing, and I fell into one after uni, but then realised pretty soon that any old writing wasn’t going to cut it – the writing had to be meaningful to me. From the day I sat down and began writing the first book, Death Wish, I knew this was different to anything I’d written before. Far more personal. Far more ‘me’. So when I’d finished the books, it made sense to continue the journey myself: design, publish, market. It’s a lot of hard work, but it’s rewarding. And I like to think it’s a good example for my kids to grow up with two self-employed parents who work hard on their own creative projects. Already I can see how that’s affecting my son, who’s six: he’s got such creative vision and direction, and has a great work ethic with his art projects (usually dinosaur related).”

“I started stand up in 2009, after thinking about it on and off for 5 years. I have always had a love for comedy, for me it’s been more important than music. I have such happy memories of seeing Blackadder for the first time or discovering the brilliant madness of Chris Morris (Brass Eye, Day Today). I never thought I could do stand-up (some people may still share that view :-) but after seeing Harry Hill in a tiny club in Leeds in 1994, I was fascinated by it. It was the one creative art form you could just get up and do, I could never play an instrument, (unless you count appalling guitar) never did amateur dramatics, but after witnessing that gig I knew it was something special.”

Helen Nowell – Illustrator “I’ve worked in illustration since graduating (from Loughborough Uni) in 2011. I’m pretty proud of being from Nottingham and its heritage. When my friends come to visit from other places in the UK I’ll often take them to see the statue of Robin Hood and Ye Olde Trip to Jerusalem. I have a lot of fond memories growing up in Nottingham and visiting places like Wollaton Park. From a commercial angle, local illustrated work sells well around Nottingham. My Nottingham Christmas cards have been sold in Nottingham Tourism Centre, Waterstones (Nottingham), Artworks and Atomic.”

Tim Bassford – Filmmaker Tim Bassford turned a long-term love of film into a career after studying Fine Art at uni, putting out short films of an outstanding quality, both in their artistry and technical skills. He recently won £25,000 to make ‘The Black Scholes Conspiracy’, a modern take on Samson and Delilah that we showed at a recent Beestonian Film Club at Cafe Roya, to unanimous dropped jaws and plaudits. Tim has even been shuttled to and from LA to work on projects, and is presently working on a script about Beeston’s own Bendigo, telling us he’d love to bring ‘Tom Hardy as Bendigo to the big screen perhaps! Premiere at the new ‘Beeston International Arts Cinema’ – hopefully coming soon, close to Wilko… Beeston is becoming the Hollywood of the Midlands’.

Mel Graham – Painter Mel Graham is a successful local painter (her studio is on Humber Road) who only relatively recently picked up a paint brush. Suffering from depression, it was suggested she try and use painting as a therapeutic aid. She tried it, and discovered she wasn’t just good at it, but good enough to sell her work on. She’s been doing that since, with her paintings selling around the world, even being snapped up by a fan on the remote Falklands Isles. She also exhibits at galleries around the UK.


B

eeston has always been a presence on the world stage. In fact in the year 1900 it played host to world famous cryptozoologist Cristina Portas, protégé of Dutch scientist and forefather of cryptozoology Anthonie Oudemans. What brought Portas to Beeston was the growing number of sightings of what was then called the “Beeston Beast” or “Beest” for short. Below is an extract from Portas’ diary, dated October 31st 1900, translated by William End. “I arrived in Beeston this morning and found myself amidst a fever of excitement and terror. The beast has struck again in the night. A woman was taken not far from the station, and her body was discovered in a rye field, torn apart, but her face perfectly preserved in a death mask of horror.” Upon investigation Cristina discovered a trail leading from the body, footprints “bigger than any I have ever seen, which led into a wood so consanguineously dense I could not understand how anything but a ghost could pass through it.” Cristina nevertheless followed the prints, followed by the only Beeston local prepared to assist her; one Norma Keyhole, a skilled hunter, gun enthusiast and founder of the Beeston Rifle Association, or BRA. “We reached a clearing. Norma was behind. All of a sudden we heard the hideous snarl of a giant beast and we saw, through the black woods, not one pair of luminous yellow eyes watching us… but three!

“Another roar! Above us the canopy came alive with the shriek of birds, then one by one the beasts charged at us from out of the black. Their mouths were wide in murderous grins, filled with razor sharp teeth, their claws slashed through the air, nearer, racing towards us. Then… Crack!Crack!Crack! Three shots rang out, the bullets searing over my shoulder! Three cries of bestial pain! Three giants toppled down! “ Portas and Keyhole crept cautiously towards the fallen beasts. Cristina could just make out the three giant shapes; a tangle of black hair and teeth, snouts frozen in grimaced death throes. Around the necks of each of one of the beasts was a tag. The first read; My name is Frazzles the Bear. If found please return me to Councilman Peter Fatstard, 35 Gladstone Street, Beeston. At once Keyhole, an avid reader of the local lore, relayed to Portas a decades old story of a councilman in love with a French immigrant who had brought three bears to Beeston some sixty years previous, though the story had long since fallen to rumour (see Issue 32 for further details). Cristina Portas, traumatised from the experience, embarrassed she hadn’t recognised what was now so obviously bear prints, returned to her home in Catalonia, a shamed and disillusioned woman. However, stories of The Beest persisted, people disappeared, things were seen, and over time it was wondered if these three bears Portas had assisted in tracking down were truly the monster after all. Keep safe, dear reader. Keep safe, avoid the darkness, beware The Beest. Cobblers

Eating Out: The Star Inn

W

hen asked to write about the scran at The Star along with ace lensman Christopher Frost, I was determined to do justice to all three courses. Unlike John Westlake, writer of the „Fare Deals‟ feature in the excellent „Nottingham Drinker‟, who always finds an excuse not to have a dessert in the pubs he reviews. Still gleaming after the recent refurb, The Star is one of several excellent Beeston pubs. With an extensive range of cask ales, wine and whisky, there‟s something here for everyone. It‟s family-friendly too - the massive beer garden (the biggest in Beeston) includes swings and whatnot for kids. So, onto the food, and over to my dining companion Christopher Frost, who describes it perfectly: "If you like traditional, well cooked and presented food, then paying a visit to the Star Inn is a must. They now have a small selection on the menu at the moment, plus a “Light Bite” menu, consisting of the usual pub snacks. My selection of food for the evening consisted of a ciabatta starter, bangers and mash for main and apple pie and custard for pudding. After the warm and crunchy ciabatta which came with olives and a small bowl of balsamic, I was soon tucking into a couple of vegetarian sausages, peas and horseradish mash (one of TEN different mash options). My only disappointment was that the apple pie was cold – still tasty though. All in all the whole meal was enjoyable and left me satisfied and not feeling like I needed to stop off for a bag of chips on the way home." I had the same ciabatta starter, but opted for steak and ale pie. Aley and steaky, it passed the pastry test and there was more filling than air inside. Thumbs up!

For dessert I chose chocolate fudge cake with ice cream, which went down a treat. And the three courses came to less than £11. Bargain or what? Especially as all the food products are sourced locally by Hallams and Coates. I can see the food in here really taking off. It's great value for money, simple and unpretentious (no slates instead of plates here). An essential stop on a Beeston crawl, or even a destination pub in its own right. JC + CF



Flagging Up F

or a Sunday afternoon in winter, it was joyfully sunny, if a little cold, when I made my way to what used to be the Ireland Avenue sports ground in Beeston. I thought I had gone back nearly forty years, as I used to go there for weekly PE lessons, when I was a pupil at Beeston Fields School. It was also the former home until 2006 of the Nottingham Rugby Club. Now it is a new housing estate, but there is still some open space, which has been renamed the Hetley Pearson Recreation Ground, after the founder of the Beeston Boys Brigade.

I was there to meet up with the Beeston Bears, one of the only two American Flag Football teams in Nottinghamshire. The other is in Mansfield and is called the Honey Badgers. The club started a couple of years ago, and used to play on Dovecote Lane Park, but as the number of members increased, they moved across the road to their present location. I chatted to Gaz, the captain, while he laid out the pitch with plastic markers and told me about the game, and how it was a mixture of American football and English rugby, but without the padding and physical contact. Also there are only five people per team, and so the pitch size is a lot smaller. One by one, the rest of the team arrived, and a possible new member appeared and said that he was interested in joining, and had played a bit while at university. Gaz got them to do some warm up exercises, followed by a practice session, where the guys formed two teams and started playing for real. So I had a go at taking some action shots. Rapid shooting helped, with so much running around. The team is always on the lookout for new members. If you fancy joining them, or even having a go, (beards not compulsory) then you can contact them through their website http://beestonbears.com, their Facebook page, or even Twitter @BeestonBears. No experience is necessary, and people of all ages are welcome. Christopher Frost

Word’s Out...

The Star Inn is serving food! Here at the Star Inn we offer a warm welcome in our newly refurbished real ale pub. And now we’re serving up proper pub grub " freshly made and steaming hot, the way it should be! Our new menu includes: Pie and Mash or Bangers and Mash, both served with our incredible Mash Combos such as Mash & Mustard, Mash & Cheese, Mash & Chives... or do you dare try the level 3 Mash & Chilli! We also offer Lasagne, a range of burgers & fries, and a full kids menu.

Starters are £2.95, and all main courses are under £5 3 so what are you waiting for? Bring the family along to your all new Star Inn today 3 and find out what everyone’s been talking about! The kitchen is open Tuesday – Saturdays, 12noon till 2:30pm and 4pm until 8pm.


Bow

Selecta Lt. Pollard - in the ‘flesh’

S

o here’s a fun thing; I’m in Star Wars. As a hero. There’s even an action figure of me.

Not as Robin Hood obviously, and truth be told not as me either. And I’m not even talking about a ‘Star Wars’ film either, so… what am I blithering about? A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away (actually 1988 and in the city centre), I was working in the Design Studio of a well-known Nottinghambased games and miniature figures company. One of my then colleagues was a splendid and much-respected American games designer named Ken Rolston. Ken was (and indeed still is) in such demand for his creative skills it was no surprise he was offered a job back in the US writing for the Star Wars Role-Playing Game (think Dungeons and Dragons, but with Jedi knights and heroic rogues rather than wizards and warriors). On Ken’s last day I jokingly asked him to put me in the official Star Wars universe – and then thought nothing more about it. So imagine my surprise a few months later when Ken’s first adventure module was published, a story about heroic Rebels trying to develop a new kind of starfighter to take on the forces of the Empire – and one of these was the ‘ruggedly handsome Lt. Pollard’ – there was even a drawing showed a bearded rogue with an Action Man-style scar. I was utterly thrilled and although it wasn’t the kind of cameo that impresses girls it was still a wonderful and very cool thing. And again I thought that was that. But a few years later (and by ‘a few’ I mean ‘twenty’) the heroic Lt. Pollard suddenly appeared again in some of the Star Wars comics in an adventure

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Not only that but Hasbro (the toy people who make Star Wars action figures) produced a limited edition big boxed set featuring a large model BWing starfighter along with its dashing pilot, Lt. Pollard. A Star Wars action figure genuinely named after me – even today I’m thrilled at that, although I still haven’t found any girls who are impressed by it (not that I’m looking, to be fair). Even better though, I’m actually becoming collectible and valuable, which is great fun. I so enjoyed the idea of ‘appearing’ in science fiction works that a few years ago I took part in – and won - the chance to name a town on a planet in the Firefly TV series/Serenity movie universe created by writer Joss Whedon (creator of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and director of Avengers Assemble). I tried to think of something quirky or funny but finally settled on something with a Beeston connection (see, there was a point to all of this) – I called the town ‘Pollard’s Palace’, named not after me but after the building on the old Plessey site that my late Dad used to run. He wasn’t a great one for science fiction but I think even he’d find it ironic that although the ‘real’ Pollard’s Palace has now sadly been flattened (and along with most of the rest of the Plessey site turned into a car park) that the name of his building will live on for much longer as an imaginary town on a fabulous planet in an ongoing fictional universe. Funny old world(s), eh? Tim Pollard Nottingham's Official Robin Hood

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set just after the time of the Star Wars films. By then his appearance had changed (although he still had the scar) but he was still an ace pilot and leader of ‘Dagger Squadron’, a crack group of rebels flying ‘B-Wing fighters’, the very ships Ken’s adventure had been about.

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ASK UNCLE

JIMMY

A

fter a frankly disappointing result from my rally cry for material to review (hint: we can’t keep reviewing the same three people), drastic measures have been taken. After a couple of years of trying to write about music to faint praise, imagine my shock when folks wanted to talk to me about a shoddy advice column we featured “Ask Uncle Jimmy”. Really? Dear Uncle Jimmy, I recently had a revelation. My boyfriend asked me over breakfast if I knew where his Wings album was, and perhaps enquired if I had lent it to one of my friends. After I stopped laughing and choking on my alpen, I callously replied I had buried it in the garden. Is this wrong? I mean I know it’s wrong liking Wings but..? T Katzenjammer, Beeston T, I too had a similar experience. I once stopped my girlfriend cooking dinner (in her own house) to enquire about a Stevie Nicks solo album. I oddly adopted the manner of a stuffy school teacher (it had that thing she did with Tom Petty on, that was err good?). I also now live alone with two stuffed monkeys that I have conversations with. Dunno. Maybe you are wrong, but if you lived in Forest Town (Mansfield for those who don’t leave Beeston) you may have killed your parents, buried them in the garden and sent every fucker a Christmas card for ten years. Tell you what. Bury your significant other up to the neck in sand and then make him watch Macca “defy” age during that Kanye West, Rihanna debacle… He’ll soon be off Wings. I mean really. He was in The Beatles and that, but does he have to make himself like an utter hair dyed, facelifted twat? Hope this helps.

• • • •

Dear Uncle Jimmy, Friends inform me that before you became a fat, crazed alcoholic – who, if rumour holds true talks to two small stuffed monkeys in Long Eaton flat – you used to be a talented blues musician, who once got a call off Chris Rea’s manager, and Hubert Sumlin once said he smelled you were a guitar player. I assume this is all pub talk but I am a young musician trying to make it in the local area. Any hints? D. Luded, Attenborough D, Well you could attend an open mic I run at The Hop Pole (every second Friday of the month kids). But be aware, I am now a fat mad drunk and the rate that musicians get paid has not gone up since 1997. See you at the EON call centre induction then? Also young musoes; stop playing for ten quid and a grudgingly poured drink. You wouldn’t get into a car with a stranger or let anyone show you puppies, so why get shafted by city centre bar owners? Come play Beeston. It’s the centre of the universe. I once had half a bitter mixed with Gold Label with the now elusive Lord Beestonia That’s gotta be something to shoot for…

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PNDesign. Have you got anything for a tenner made elsewhere?” I fear this may result in me assaulting somebody. Any clues? D Perkins, Beeston Miss Perkins (I assume?), It has happened to me twice recently. It’s certainly novel. I’m going to add it to the plethora of retail dodges such as “What time do you close?” and my personal fave; “I’ll be back. I’ve left my wallet in the car”. Yeah mate. You’re so tight I imagine you keep your money purse up your arse. Anyway, simply ask the customer to remove all their Chinese or sweatshop attire, go home naked on the bus and then microwave his iPad whilst inserting his Xbox into one of the children. Did I mention I’m not doing well for customers at the moment? Yeah retail… It’s a lifestyle choice. Jimmy will be seeking help before offering advice again. Jimmy Wiggins sells guitars and stuff at The Guitar Spot, Chilwell Road and accepts pints from strangers in all pubs.

Dear Uncle Jimmy, I realize this is odd but I fear I can only turn to a font of retail knowledge and diplomacy such as yourself. I hear you and a small man who doesn’t look 70 run some emporium of moaning and mid-priced goods. If so maybe you have encountered my issue. I work in retail and had an experience that I frankly don’t get. I recently tried to sell a middle aged gentleman a dress that, alas, was made in China. The gentleman smelled like he had perhaps ingested too much of the Grauniad in his time. He came out with this. “I’m rather a political animal, so this means I cannot support the Chinese torture regime.

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Big shout out to all the hardcore ravers...

Photo credit: Nadine Holmes

CODEWORD


NEWS FROM TRAM

The Beestonian is... Editor/Lead Writer/Founder • Lord Beestonia Co-Founder/Resident Don • Prof J Design • Dan Associate Editor • Christian Editorial Assistance • Mel History Editor • Joe Earp Illustrator • Mouni Feddag Top-notch contributors this issue: Joe Earp, Chris Fox, John 'Poolie' Cooper, Christopher Frost, Tim Pollard, Mel Heath, Ric Salinger, Jimmy Slideboy Wiggins, Karen Attwood, and Deman. Printed by Pixels & Graphics, Beeston

Stockists:

The

GREY MATTER

Belle & Jerome, The Hop Pole, The Crown, The White Lion, The Star, The Greyhound, Flying Goose, Mish Mash Gallery, Attik, The Guitar Spot, Relish, Broadgate Laundrette, Bubba Tea, The Bean, Beeston Library, Cafe ROYA, Newsagent on Chilwell Road, Metro, Beeston Marina Bar and Cafe, Attenborough Nature Reserve.

1: MP Claire Short and Comedian Martin Short are related, true or false.

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Huge thanks to all of our contributors, sponsors, stockists, regular readers and anyone who has picked this up for the first time.

2: In physics the effect of the largest granules rising to the top of an agitated container of mixed granules is popularly called the (what?) effect: Coal truck; Brazil nut; Toffee penny; or Handbag?

8: KAR120C was the registration of a yellow Lotus 7, in which 1960s cult UK TV series?

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9: What is Canada's national animal? 10: A palmiped's feet are more commonly called what? 11: What was the name of Texas bluesman Stevie Ray Vaughan's backing group? 12: Whose shrine was brought to Durham in 995, after being removed from Holy Island to escape Viking raids? 13: In the novel Carrie by Stephen King, what is Carrie's last name?

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TROUBLE/SAINT CUTHBERT/WHITE GREAT.)/ TIGRIS AND EUPHRATES/LIZARD POINT/THE PRISONER/BEAVER/ WEBBED/DOUBLE LOUIS XV (FIFTEENTH)/ BENEDICTINE (DOM = DEO OPTIMO MAXIMO = TO GOD, MOST GOOD, MOST HAPPENS)/ WE (IT MEANS OTHER THINGS TOO, NOTABLY EXPRESSING ONENESS WITH GOD, OR JAH)/ ANSWERS: TRUE, THEY’RE COUSINS/ BRAZIL NUT (AND NOBODY KNOWS FOR SURE WHY THIS


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