the
Q&A
May 5, 2011 | Issue #240
y o u r. i n d y @ g m a i l . c o m editor-in-chief: Ri l ey Ken ny s mith layout editor: Ta r a C on n elly copy editor: Reb ecca K ap lan writers: A l ex a Dillen b eck H ei d i Du f f y Cl éa G ran d its Reb ecca K ap lan M a da me Q u er y print managers: Ro byn Wilk in s To ny Pon tiu s cover photo by: K a ro l Wer n ek artwork by: Su za n n e Bon an n o web design by: D a n i elle Lemp p
The Purchase Independent is a non-profit news magazine, paid for by the Mandatory Student Activity fee. We welcome and encourage submissions from readers. The Indy is a forum for campus issues and events, to give students the voice they deserve. Letters, articles, comics, ads, event photography and event listings are welcomed. The deadline for submissions is every Friday before midnight, and accepted pieces will be published the following Thursday. Publication of submissions is not guaranteed, but subject to the discretion of the editors. No anonymous submissions will be considered, but we will accept use of pseudonyms on a case-by-case basis. Send all submissions and inquiries to your. indy@gmail.com. Send questions to Madame Query at formspring.me/madamequery. Back page quotes can be submitted to formspring. me/indybackpage or put in the Back Page Box that hangs on the office door. Our office is located on the first floor of Campus Center North, room 1011. Staff meetings are held in the office every Monday night at 9:30; anyone is welcome to join.
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LETTER FROM THE EDITOR I am so grateful for the experiences I had as the editor of the Indy this year. I was intimidated by the prospect of it, that the campus wouldn’t be receptive to the changes I wanted to make. And I’ve been pleasantly surprised by the response, both from readers and the staff who appeared by my side, ready and willing to help me achieve my vision. Yeah, it sounds corny. But aren’t end-of-the-year things always that way? I’m a nostalgic person, I can’t help it. I wanted to do something special for this issue, to say goodbye—for the summer, I’ll be back next semester!—so there’s three different covers for this issue. It’s like we’re a fashion magazine or something! So I’ll keep it short but sweet: thank you to this semester’s staff: Robyn, Danielle and Tony, you are the behind-the-scenes miracle workers who make this publication possible; without you, no one would ever see the Indy. Cléa and Heidi, your writing this semester brought a sense of humor to the Indy we were definitely missing. Karol and Suzanne, thank you for being so understanding of my ideas and so creative with your own. Rebecca, your quick turnaround saved me on many a deadline. Thank you also to everyone who contributed out of the goodness of your hearts and not a contractual obligation to the Indy, your articles are much appreciated. And, of course, Tara. I couldn’t have done it without you. You’ve kept me sane, and I can only hope that I myself never drove you to insanity. But hey, if we have to go there, might as well go together!
LETTERS LETTER FROM THE OTHER EDITOR There are a lot of things that are really hard for me to believe. I cannot believe that 2012 is next year (ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE), or that Hub food has any nutritional value, or even that the Tooth Fairy isn’t real. There are two much more immediate things that fall into this same category, that this is my last issue as Layout Editor of the Indy and that I am graduating in two and a half weeks. I’ve been trying to mentally prepare myself for months now, but it doesn’t help that I’ve recently developed a serious phobia of calendars. It’s not the grid of boxes, the numbers one through thirty-one or even the tacky stock photography that gets me, it’s the fact that I could see exactly how many days I had left at this place. That has become a slight problem when trying to work on my senior project. Time is one of those things that’s hard to budget if you’re trying to forget that it exists. Despite my extreme chronophobia, I am still confident that I will be able to finish everything and be happy with the end results. Of course, I’ve still barely started my thesis (oops), but right now my main concern is the BFA show that opens next Saturday the 14th. Make sure you come check it out, there’s going to be a great assortment of work from all of the Visual Arts seniors. I’ve had an amazing time working on the Independent this past year. First of all, I got my meet my soulmate (Riley Anne Kennysmith, will you marry me?). Seriously though, I couldn’t have asked for a better person to spend the better part of my Tuesdays with each week laying out the issue. Even though we probably consumed
way too many quesadillas and jalapeno poppers (ignoring our lactose intolerance) and listened to way too much Tegan and Sara (no such thing), we also spent countless hours each week pouring our hearts into a paper we’re both really proud of. I could never have done this without her. I would also like to take a second to thank everyone else who helped to make the Indy possible this year. Thanks to all of our interns for putting in your hard work to keep this paper going. A special thanks to our photo interns both semesters for providing beautiful shots to grace our covers. Thanks to Robin and Tony for being so patient and putting in all of those hours with Gerald to make sure this thing got printed. Speaking of our affectionately-named electronics, thanks to Alice for not breaking even after the ceiling exploded and our office got filled with water. And thanks to the PSGA for keeping us company and having answers to all of our stupid questions. I’ve met some really genuine people in my years here at Purchase and have had some crazy times that I will definitely remember for the rest of my life. As much as this school has changed since I started going here, and as much as at times it seems like it is both literally and figuratively falling apart, Purchase will always hold a special place in my heart. It really is a school driven by the students, and I would like to thank each and every one of you for being unique and interesting and staying true to what you believe in. And though I’m not usually one to advocate illegal behavior, in times of crisis sometimes you just gotta fuck laws. Just don’t get in trouble. :)
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THE QUAD IN THE SPRING BY CLÉA GRANDITS
Bored? Here’s everything the Quad has to offer in the Spring… JIZZ TREES
What better smell than the one that wafts over from the flowery white jizz trees standing in the quad. I do not suggest gathering a bouquet of these since everyone will surely think that someone just exploded all over you. KUMBAYA CIRCLES
When Spring comes we finally get to hear Purchase’s tremendous musical talent. Beatniks bring out guitars to host Beatles and Bob Dylan sing-alongs, and acquire groups of followers that sway and croon to the beat. There are also the forlorn troubadours that settle amidst the crowds strumming sentimental songs and staring vacantly off into the distance, pretending that no one can hear their howling. HOOKAH CIRCLES
What a great opportunity to show off your hookah and tell everyone who listens the bad-ass story about how you got it. I really care about your trip to the market place in Egypt, or about your parents being total hippies and passing it down to you.
choreographed routines to yoga sessions to games of tag that involve spins and posing to learning how to do splits! They have it all. CIRCUS SKILLS
Want to be different? That’s easy, just walk across a tightrope or juggle some oranges from d-hall. I’ve never seen such impressive hula hooping in my entire life, it makes the quad feel like a music festival. ATHLETES
Sun’s out, guns out. Suddenly one spots the elusive jocks sporting Purchase Panther attire and no shirts. You can count on these guys to organize games of frisbee and football in the middle of the crowd, and when a ball whizzes by or hits you in the face, don’t bother bitching since they’ll only move two feet from their original spot. KING CHARTWELLS
When Spring arrives so does King Chartwells, driving through the crowd on his little chariot, surveilling his minions. STARBUCKS
DANCE PERFORMANCE
Can’t afford dance lessons? Don’t worry about it, just come to the quad where prancing, toned dancers are willing to show off their talent for no fee. Everything from balancing acts to
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One can see how much Starbucks students drink by merely staring at the grass that is littered with empty cups, straws and napkins. Pick up your shit!
CAMPUS
NO MORE MEALS BY HEIDI DUFFY It’s the end of the end of the semester and I, like everyone else, am incredibly busy and broke as a joke. I’ve run out of meals and can’t mooch off of my friends much longer, or I might not have any friends to speak of. Basically, I’m Alice in a Hungerland. But, I’ve found some ways to sustain myself that don’t cost any money! Some people might not find these very appealing, but here’s a few tips that I’ve compiled:
HOW TO NOT STARVE AT PURCHASE 1. Go to The Hub and fill your purse or pockets with the crackers at the soup station. They are there for free, but if you go there constantly they might give you grief for it. Use discretion. 2. Attend random events on campus that have food. Even if you aren’t particularily interested in what the event is about, at least your stomach won’t be growling. 3. If you can get a ride into White Plains you can get pretty good food from dumpsters. If you just shuddered, it’s not like I’m talking about half-eaten sandwiches. Panera throws out all of their bread items everyday, and Trader Joe’s does the same. Things might be slightly stale, but if you’re really that hungry you shouldn’t care.
5. Or you could beg! If you’re nervous about approaching people on the mall keep in mind, they’ll probably just be happy that you aren’t asking for a cigarette and will be more willing to help you out. 6. If you have some powdered juice packs you could make dessert in your ice tray! It’s not a really substantial option, but they are good when it’s hot out. If you don’t have any juice or anything you can use regular water, and put a mustard garnish on your ice cubes. There are a lot of ways that you can get enough free food to last you until the end of the semester, without being one of those assholes who break vending machines. It really depends on how much effort you’re willing to put in, and how little shame you have.
4. You can always try to barter. Exchanging food for clothes or DVDs that you don’t want anymore is more dignified than simply begging.
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SUMMER FUN BY ALEXA DILLENBECK
Right after your last final, you can breathe a sigh of relief and then book your ass out of your dorm. The first couple weeks may be lazy bliss, but then you realize you’re not home for three weeks, but three months! You will wonder what to do and wish I wrote an article about cheap and fun summer activities. Well, consider it done. I am one step ahead of you with some tips. First of all, you will need to do a few things before you get to the activities. STEP ONE: FRIENDS
Good luck having fun without friends. I’m sure you can have it, so I won’t put it past you, but for best results, apply some friends liberally and experience a summer you won’t forget. STEP TWO: SUN PROTECTION
Get out your sunscreen, sunglasses, zinc, a parasol, whatever you may need. If you’re like me and have fair skin, get some zinc oxide on that porcelain. Whatever you do, make sure that you have some UV protection, because you do not want to get any sort of sun-related cancer or cataracts in your eyes from not wearing your stunnah shades. STEP THREE: BREAK YOUR PIGGY BANK
Unfortunately not everything on this list will be free, which is too bad. Whether it’s sunglasses or sunscreen or some food, you might need a bit o’ cash. If you have $0.00 then mow some old ladies’ lawns and get some cash.
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SUMMER
Now on to the fun stuff: GET A NEW HOBBY, MARTHA STEWART.
PICNIC!
Try something new for a change. Take a cue from Sufjan Stevens and take up knitting. Or take a cue from Sufjan Stevens and play some rad music, you are a Purchase student. Other hobbies include collecting, crafts, checkers, juggling, gardening, and cooking. If you want know other hobbies, then google them; this is a list of summer fun, not a book of hobbies.
If you can’t attend one of the music festivals this year, you can have other fun in fields with some friends and have a picnic. All you’ll need is some food, maybe an iPod speaker (or a real instrument) and some friends, so this is really good if you have little to no money.
EXERCISE!
Not only are games fun, but you could work off all of the fat on your ass from sitting down all the time while taking up a hobby. Play some basketball, go on a hike, swim, or just take a walk. Most of these things can be done alone (though don’t climb any mountains or explore dangerous terrain alone; it’s just not a good idea) or with your friends, family, dogs, whatever. It will get your blood pumping and pass the time in a good way. Just remember to drink water and get enough food, especially on super hot days. LISTEN TO SWEET JAMZ.
Summer is prime time for music festivals. Find one near you and if you have enough money, get a ticket and rock out. Sometimes, these can run a little steep, but see if you work at the festival, you may get in for free. Also, if there aren’t any really close to your homestead, then you might need a room for a night or two, so maybe getting some friends together and pooling some money could be a good idea.
PARTY!
Going to parties usually doesn’t cost much, so if you know someone having a barbecue, house party, block party, birthday party, et cetera, head over and get some free food and possibly an alcoholic beverage or two. Parties can be a good way to meet new people or a way to let loose if you do have a job, internship, or possible daily commitment. If you are underage or into doing some seedy drugs, just remember that consequences outside of Purchase may be much worse. LAST, BUT CERTAINLY NOT LEAST, THE DIRTY.
If you are near a significant other, friend with benefits, or random hook-up, you know what you’re going to want to do, so just do it. Be safe and grab some dental dams, condoms, birth control, or whatever you like to use to keep yourself and your partner healthy (and baby free, if you’re not ready for that sort of thing yet).
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YOUR
IS
paper.
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STUDENTS
FINANCIAL AIDBY REBECCA KAPLAN Across the country, help for college students is being slashed, inflation is rising and jobs are being cut; it’s not surprising that students are angry about financial aid. However, some students may be directing their anger at the wrong place. “The Financial Aid office is kind of a hostile environment,” said Laura Hajek, a sophomore, who said she felt the office is always busy, and she felt bad “pestering them with random questions.” However, there isn’t always a lot they can do. Tom Panettiere, director of the Financial Aid office, said students have misconceptions about how much power the office should have to change things. “We don’t create the bureaucracy, the government does,” he said. “We have to work within it, just like anyone else.” The bureaucracy is a major source of confusion to students. For example, an extension of a college tax credit of up to $2,500 deducted off taxes for every dollar spent on college may seem to be a really good thing for students, but according to Paul Nicholson, Purchase’s ombudsperson, it may not actually help many students. “I don’t have a full understanding of the tax credit,” Nicholson said, “but unless families itemize their deductions, they won’t be able to take the credit.” Upon learning of the tax credit, Tymon Brown, a freshman in the film conservatory, said he would definitely try to apply for it, and wished the Financial Aid office had advertised it better. He
said he’d want to try to get it, even if he couldn’t get the full $2500. “At this point, anything would help. If the government handed me ten dollars back on my tuition, I’d be like, ‘Thank you! I’m going to buy food with this.’” “There just isn’t any money,” Brown added. “The film conservatory gave me an emergency scholarship to fund my freshman film, and they gave me everything they had left in their budget. They emptied their vaults for me, and it was only a hundred dollars.” Students are especially antsy about financial aid, because the stakes are very high. A difference of even a few thousand dollars can make or break an education. It’s clear from talking to students that they feel strongly against the cuts. Josh Kay, a sophomore, said, “I’d really like it if they didn’t do this whole financial aid cut, because I’d like to continue going to college.” What can students do to change the situation? Brown said, “A million students need to go in front of the White House and be like, ‘hey guys, this isn’t cool.’” In the meantime, short of rioting, students can apply for financial aid early. “Many types of aid, like SEOG and work study, are first come, first serve,” Nicholson said. “Students should apply early by filling out their FAFSAs to maximize their aid.”
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MADAME QUERY
HAS YOUR REMEDY
Madame, I am struggling so hard at the
Okay Madame, the semester is almost
end of this semester balancing partying
over so I need good, solid advice here.
and
lady
I pass this guy in the hallway twice a
maintain her social life, GPA and sanity?
week. We both have back-to-back classes
in adjacent rooms. I think he’s really cute
homework.
How
does
a
Here is the answer to the solution, something you should tell yourself when you keep asking yourself this question—everyone is going through the same thing. Your friends, are also going through finals and desperately trying to find time to get drunk. You are going to team up with them and combine your forces for power hours: power hours of drinking and power hours of studying. It’s May, which means the library is open 24/7, take advantage of every hour! For a lot of us, we will experience at least one all-nighter this finals week. If you and your friends’ schedules don’t align, work the shit out of yourself all week so that your weekend will be even more well deserved. It’s hard, but really not hard at all once you start to it. 24-hour library hours, the solution to all our problems.
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but I don’t want to randomly say hi like a creeper.
It’s true you will appear to be a creeper if you say hi, without ever meeting him or even having mutual friends that would have put you two in the same setting. You will, honest to God, look really fucking weird, so I will tell you how to be weird without him noticing. Be confident and when see out in the hall way or whatever tell him you like something on his ensemble. This is Purchase: everyone either has a graphic tee, tacky shoes or something in between. It’s a great conversation starter. This is very easy to do and you won’t look like freak just for offering up a good old fashioned compliment. However, this is Purchase and you may come across the dick who says “thanks” in the most snarky, unpolite way. If you get an answer like that, consider yourself lucky that’s the only interaction you two had. Some people are rude, some are sweet, you’ll never know who he is until you open up conversation with more than a hello.
A DV I C E Do you think we can stage a student
This past weekend I went out to a party
uprising and eventually get Bill O’Reilly
and silly me, I must have forgotten my
in his rightful place as a professor of Sex
wallet and misplaced my coat somewhere.
and Gender Studies?
How can I retrieve these items?
Unfortunately I do not foresee such actions taking place anytime soon. Madame however does believe our fellow students should rise together and and fight for our rights and place Ann Coulter as the head of Gender Studies. Eh, but that would cause a godless campus. Madame feels as though you wrote this question as a joke and she must remind you that Bill O’Reilly may not be such a bad choice for the position. Remember in 2002 when O’Reilly stood up to our neighbors (Pepsi) and said (something like) “I’m not drinking you until you ban that commercial with that woman hater.” The woman hater being Ludacris who was featured on last year’s hit song “Baby” by Justin Bieber. I guess time will tell as to who will be hired.
Silly you, you should never be so nice to believe you forgot your wallet on campus. The world is full of sinners and one of them most likely stole it from you. You can try posting a sad entry on the Purchase LJ begging for its return, but there probably won’t be a response. I suggest you head to the basement of Humanities where UPD is and see if it has turned up. Cancel any credit card in that wallet. You’ll probably have more luck with your coat. Posting on the LJ may bring it back into your possession. For future reference, don’t be too nice and realize people are assholes and ya gotta, ya gotta keep money in the front pocket.
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