T
PURCHASE H E INDEPENDENT
ISSUE 263 MARCH 29th, 2012
ENEMYGRAPH: group your enemies on facebook pg pg66 THE INDEPENDENT’S FUN PAGES: coloring and more pg pg10 10 THE TYLER CLEMENTI STORY: the rise of gay teen suicide pg pg44
y o u r. i n d y @ g m a i l . c o m editor-in-chief:
LETTER FROM THE EDITOR
layout editor:
In lieu of spring break...
writers: Alexa Dillenbeck Dylan Green David Grimaldi Laura Meltzer Noelle Moore Jake Mur phy Josh Myer s Alyce Pelleg rino Madame Quer y Ste phanie Spencer
Things That Light Up My World Like Nobody Else:
Ró i sí n McCarty To m D au er
print manager: Tony Pontius (i )Tommy Roach cover photo by: Tyler Dawson copy editor: Rachel Margolin artwork by: Madeleine Bergman Nicolas Sienty web design by: Danielle Lempp (i )Alexa Dillenbeck The Purchase Independent is a nonprofit news magazine, paid for by the Mandatory Student Activity fee. We welcome and encourage submissions from readers. The Independent is a forum for campus issues and events, to give students the voice they deserve. Letters, articles, event photography and event listings are welcomed. The deadline for submissions is every Friday before midnight, and accepted pieces will be published the following Thursday. Publication of submissions is not guaranteed, but subject to the discretion of the editors. No anonymous submissions will be considered, but we will accept use of pseudonyms on a caseby-case basis. Send all submissions and inquiries to your.indy@gmail.com. Send questions to Madame Query at formspring. me/madamequery. Back page quotes can be submitted to formspring.me/ indybackpage or put in the Back Page Box that hangs on the office door. Our office is located on the first floor of Campus Center North, room 1011. Staff meetings are held in the office every Monday night at 9:30; anyone is welcome.
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-One Direction (if you don’t agree, you’re lying to yourself.) -“What Doesn’t Kill You (Stronger)” -Everything even remotely related to the RMS Titanic. -Swarley, Swarlos, Swarles Barkley, etcetera. -My Mom. (Hi Mom!) Dad, Alex, Merrick, and even Owen, even though I think he’s mad at me right now. -Faye Reagan. -Spring break is tomorrow. -Cookie cakes. -Funyuns. -12:01. -My lovely Indy staff. <3 End of List.
Have an awesome spring break, everyone!
y o u r. i n d y @ g m a i l . c o m
CORRECTIONS Last week’s article titled “Murder By Scooter Goes Serial” contained a spelling mistake. The first mention of the band is spelled “Murder By Scoother.” It is spelled “Murder By Scooter.”
Last week’s events page said that PEMS met on Thursdays at 8 pm. PEMS actually meets on Wednesdays at 8 pm.
FEATURED STAFF:
interested in ’s
7th annual naked issue?
Stay tuned for official times and dates, or contact: Tyler Dawson tyler.dawson@purchase.edu Chloe Zetkov chesurecat@gmail.com “Clever hook to get you to pose!”
What is the title of your position? Tom: Layout Editor... or Chief Meeting Derailer. Róisín: Editor-in-Chief...or HBIC.
email us with questions,
your.indy@gmail.com
If you were a pokemon, who would you be? Tom: Obviously a Rattata. I’d be in the top percentage. Róisín: Eevee, naturally. What was the name of your first born? Tom & Róisín: His name was Ted. He was
legen - wait for it -Ted took a tumble.
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the passage gallery BY laura meltzer The rickety wooden bridge and the brightly colored house labeled “Auto Larje” seem to resemble the tree house that your dad created for your fifth birthday. As you walk into the Gallery, you see long sheets of paper, with questions like, “What’s your fondest childhood memory?” or “What was your greatest achievement?” Those who write their answers down on the paper are provided with thick Crayola Markers. For visitors, a first impression of the exhibit could be looking back on childhood memories. Talking to the artist provided a completely different interpretation. “My work is - well the crux is - usually trying to build a structure or a system or a machine that brings people together in a way they generally aren’t otherwise,” said Christopher Robbins, a Professor in the School of Art and Design, and one of the creators of “Mitrovica,” which is part
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of the “Auto Larje: a structure that forces change in behavior” exhibit, that is currently at the Passage Gallery. In 2006, Robbins established the Ghana Think Tank Project, which is where First World countries ask developing nations for solutions. “It started out with Ghana Think Tank is asking the First World to collect First World Problems from the United States or the UK or Germany and send them to the developing world for a resolution … we’d then implement the solution they’d give us, like it or not,” said Robbins. This past summer, graduate student Aaron Krach went to Mitrovica, which is located in Northern Kosovo, as part of the project. “For here the idea was to ask Serbs and Albanians, people who have been fighting against each other and who now have a lot of violence over which country the city of Mitrovica is, in a kind of roundabout way asked them to solve each other’s problems,” said Robbins. The city of Mitrovica is divided by a river and also divided by ethnic differences. The Serbians live to the North, and Albanians live in the South. A bridge connects the two locations. Troops from both places occupy parts of the bridge enforcing their area’s laws. “In Mitrovica there are Kosovo troops because Kosovo declared independence in 2008, so there are Kosovo police implementing their laws. There are also Serbian police. Kosovo declared independence from Serbia, but Serbia claims it’s part of their country,” said Robbins.
art
The creators of the exhibit are trying to present the problem half a world away. They are trying to replicate what they saw through art. In Mitrovica, the artist observed a graffiti war had been taking place between the Serbians and Albanians. “The Serbian began as pro-Serbian graffiti, but then the Albanians graffitied their graffiti and made it anti-Serb. Then, it got graffitied again and became happy face nonsense,” said Aaron Krach, a graduate student in the School of Art and Design. To understand the issues between the Serbians and Albanians, Krach used an American conflict as a way to translate what’s happening. “We thought ‘Americans are not going to understand the Serbian Albanian graffiti, but what if we translated it?’ So, we took something that meant something to New Yorkers, something like the World Trade Center, and we graffitied that on the wall … if somebody came across and made it into a happy-face and made fun of it we
would be offended,” said Krach. Professor Robbins’s contribution to the exhibit features the work of Madeline Yee, a Sophomore majoring in Sculpture, and Travis Fairclough, a Junior majoring in Drawing and Painting, in the exhibit. The students’ piece discussed how people focus on trivial every day activities forgetting what’s most important in life. “The idea of chaos and the everyday drudgery of these things we do every single day and we’re not even aware of it and these things that we use to define our existence our life and the questions on the wall ‘What’s your favorite birthday?’ or ‘What’s our favorite moment with our parents?” said Yee. Robbins believed the theme of their piece would relate to his piece. The students agreed. “They both deal with social dynamics and political dynamics … this sort of capital structure and this impersonal system it creates … the quieting of the individual. Chris [Robbins] really deals with that, too. His piece is really dealing with hatred of one another within the same realm based on racism of all the same people … they’re both Serbs, but they hate each other,” said Fairclough. Since working with Robbins, students have discovered that art can be used for social change. “I think art is suppose to affect other people in a positive way and improve their quality of life ... I really like working with Chris [Robbins] because all of his work revolves around social change. I call his work ‘action art’ because it’s all about doing something,” said Yee. “Auto Larje” closes March 30th. Be sure to check out this wonderful exhibit at the Passage Gallery by Purchase College professors and students.
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ACQUAINTANCES OR ENEMIES? BY josh myers Sometimes people add me on Facebook and I think, “Wow. I really don’t like you. I wish I could not accept your friend request and have you not get mad at me.” Well now there is a solution. A new application has been created for Facebook called EnemyGraph. Dean Terry, the director of the Emerging-Media program at the University of Texas at Dallas, says a major flaw of Facebook is that it’s “all sunshine and no rain.” Facebook wants us to like countless pages and statuses, but there isn’t any kind of option for people to disagree with these pages and statuses. “Friend” is the only relationship that you can list on Facebook other than “in a relationship” or “married,” but real life interactions don’t work like that. There isn’t always an instant friendship between two people. Since real life doesn’t work like that, social media shouldn’t either. Terry isn’t the only person who thinks this way. Over three million people have voted in online petitions for a “dislike” button for Facebook. “As an initial response I would think, “Yeah a dislike button would be awesome! When I think about it, I would say no. Facebook shouldn’t have one due to bullying issues. A dislike button would make people feel upset and bullied, especially if comments were involved. A dislike button would create more controversy and hurt feelings than good,” said freshman Jessie Pauli. Terry has decided that since Facebook hasn’t created a dislike button, he was going to make a service that would give you the ability to
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declare someone your “enemy.” “It’s social-media blasphemy, in that we’re suggesting that you share differences you have with people and share things that you don’t like instead of what you do like,” he said last week. “I think social media needs some disruption. It needs its shot of Johnny Rotten.” Last month, the plug-in named EnemyGraph which Facebook users can install and name their enemies. This list of “enemies” then shows up on your Facebook page for everyone to see. “We’re using ‘enemy’ in the same loose way that Facebook uses ‘friends,’” Terry explained. “It really just means something you have an issue with.” Even though EnemyGraph has been allowed by Facebook, he is still worried that it might get shut down if the application becomes too popular. “What we all do in the program is help our students think critically about social media,” Terry says, noting that that is the main goal of EnemyGraph. “On Facebook you’re the product—it’s commoditized expression,” he argues. “I’m not telling students not to use it, I’m just telling them to understand what’s happening when they use it.” Bradley Griffith did coding on EnemyGraph, and he made an even stronger case for the service than Terry did. “It’s dangerous for us as a society to move in this direction where everything has its worst qualities removed from it.”
news
FEMININE PRODUCT OF THE FUTURE BY alexa dillenbeck Elena Wegman sat at a picnic table outside of the Student Services building without a look of embarrassment as she spoke about her, period and how she uses a menstrual cup. “Women don’t have an open relationship with their bodies,” said Wegman, a senior Printmaking student. “[With a Diva Cup], you become more aware of your anatomy and its functions.” The Diva Cup, a popular brand of menstrual cups, is made of a safe medical-grade silicone. The cup is an alternative to mainstream products like disposable tampons and pads, which can cause environmental waste build-up, according to the Diva Cup website. Menstrual cups can protect female bodies from Toxic Shock Syndrome (TSS) which can be caused by disposable tampons, according to Leslie Gutkin, who was a Women’s Studies student at Purchase, and former co-director of the Alternative Clinic at Purchase. With the Diva Cup, “you don’t have the risk of TSS, because nothing is being absorbed and no fibers can be left behind to get icky,” wrote Gutkin in a Facebook message. Wegman said the switch for her was because of environmental reasons, but she mostly switched to save money. “Tampons are getting expensive and you only really need one Diva Cup,” said Wegman. “Buying a Diva Cup is expensive, but you only do it once and can usually find them cheaper on amazon.com.” Menstrual cup users sometimes find that
the only disadvantage is disapproval from friends and family. “When I’ve told other people, they get grossed out and ask if it spills, if my hands smell after, or they say, ‘Oh! You feminist!’” said Chloe Zetkov, a junior Photography student and copresident of LGBTQU. Zetkov was inspired to try a menstrual cup, after reading the book Cunt: a declaration of independence, by Inga Muscio. Zetkov said the book provided her with a feeling of pride about bodily functions and being female. “The author rejected tampons because they are bleached with chloride and she went one week without using anything and just let herself bleed,” said Zetkov. “We separate ourselves from the beautiful things we are.” Sandra Quints, a sophomore double major Media, Society, and the Arts and Gender Studies student, started using the Diva Cup in high school. “At first, I was really grossed out, but then I ordered one and I love it,” said Quints. “There are a lot of pros: they are affordable, really easy to use, clean, safe, and environmentally friendly.” The Diva Cup is FDA approved and the silicone used is “odorless, latex-free, plastic-free and BPA-free,” according to the Diva Cup website. “I think they’re really rad and it’s important to have safe, comfortable alternatives for menstruation,” said Gabriella Ibacache, a sophomore double majoring Gender Studies and Sociology, and co-president of FORTH.
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SOLDIER SLAYINGS
SANTORUM OPPOSERS SUCKING FACE
BY jake murphy
BY Alyce Pellegrino
On March 11th in Kandahar Province in Southern Afghanistan, U.S. Army Staff Sergeant Robert Bales deserted his combat post and murdered 17 innocent civilians. He is now facing 17 charges of murder, and six accounts of assault. He may receive the death penalty. Bales was an Ohio native, a husband, and a father of two. He was a financial advisor before he opted to enlist in the army after the attacks of September 11th. Authorities have not found any motive for the murders. Bales’ attorney stated that he has little recollection of the events that unfolded, however officials have reported that he bragged about the killings to other soldiers. Reports have been said Staff Sgt. Bales left his position at sometime at night armed with his 9-millimeter pistol and his rifle. He broke into civilian homes and opened fire on the unsuspecting Afghani villagers. Friends of Bales described him as a devoted man who treated Afghani natives with respect. Some however, were not aware of Bales’ past. He was a main participant in a drunken brawl in 2008, and it has been speculated that he had a problem with alcohol. He had allegedly drank with two soldiers the night of the murders. As of now he is being held in solitary confinement in Florida, awaiting charges. Some have claimed that he suffers from PTSD. Others say that he has other severe mental health problems. However, these killings shall not go unpunished either way, as even war cannot mask this blatant act of unprovoked murder.
The scene is a Rick Santorum rally in Arlington Heights, Illinois on March 16. A rally where, according to Savannah Ziegelbauer of palatine.patch.com, “about 50 protesters lined the street before the rally with signs that read ‘LGBT No H8,’ ‘Catholics Against Santorum,’ and ‘If I incorporate myself, would you treat me like a person?’” Matt Muchowski, an LGBT activist and creator of the Facebook page “Carmel Catholic Alumni Against Rick Santorum” (a school where Santorum spent his senior year of high school), organized the protest. “We feel it is important to counter Santorum’s anti-gay hate, to set an example to students,” says Muchowski. “Rick sends a message of bullying, but we want high school students to know that other alumni send a message of equality.” About fifteen minutes into his speech at the Christian Liberty Academy, Presidential Candidate Rick Santorum was interrupted by shouts from the audience. Timothy Tross and Ben Clifford, having gotten the attention of the crowd, locked lips. They were then escorted from the crowd to the chants of “U-S-A.” When asked if the kiss was a statement or a romantic gesture, the pair had this to say: “I don’t think the message should be about what my sexuality is. It’s the message that he’s saying about sexuality that matters.”
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news & events
C LU BS Thursdays Open Swim: Gym 1021 at 12-2pm Fencing Club: Gym 0003 at 2:15-4pm AMG: Witsons at 6:30pm RPGA: Hub Basement at 8pm Green Team: Co-Op at 7pm Trans*Action: LGBTQU at 10pm
Mondays FORTH meeting: Southside at 8pm The Indy: CCN 1011 at 9:30pm Brick Meeting: Red Room at 10pm
culture shock 2012 BY david grimaldi FRIDAY, APRIL 27th
6pm -Winner: Battle of the Bands 7pm -Pissed Jeans (Thrashing punk) 8pm -Vasey Veggies (L.A. Hip-Hop) 9pm -Tycho (Electronic dance music for the masses) 10pm-Islands (Spwrawling, gorgeous pop rock) 11:30pm-Afterparty in Stood, Big Freedia/the Divas
Tuesdays Anthropology: SPARC room at 8:00pm PUSH: Hub basement at 9pm Complexuality: Hub basement at 10pm GRIOT: Fort Awesome 0136 at 9pm
Wednesdays Hillel: Hub basement at noon Purchase Comics United: Commuter Lounge at 2 Senate: Southside at 12:30pm Chess Club: Commuters Lounge at 8pm Anime: Commuter lounge at 8pm PEMS: Southside at 8pm Nerf: Humanites at 10 pm WPSR: WPSR Office at 10pm PTV: Hub Basement at10pm LGBTQU: Red Room at 10pm
SATURDAY, APRIL 28th
5pm-Bio Ritmo (salsa music) 6pm -Winner: Battle of Bands 7pm -Cloud Nothings (Aggresive rock/edgy) 8pm -The Felice Brothers (Americana, folk) 9pm -Grimes (Sweet, adventurous pop) 10pm-Idle Warship (Soulful hip-hop) FT Talib Kweli 11:30pm -Afterparty in Stood, Nina Sky
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BIKINI
MR FEENEY
BOOBS
INDY
NSYNC
BURRITO
KATNISS
POOP
BUTTHOLE
KELSO
SEEPAGE
CLAIRE
MAHOGANY
SPRING
DINOSAUR
MARGARITA
TITANIC
fun things
Connect the dots
Created by Barney Stinson
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bring on the sun BY alyce pellegrino Much like in the winter when a snow storm is on its way, news of warm weather at the beginning of spring spreads like wild fire across campus. And so it comes, bringing with it hula hoops and Frisbees in the quad, and sunbathers on the great lawn. Even the hammocks have returned between the PAC and the VA; just in time for the hot months ahead. “It’s great to see how the warm weather is bringing everyone outside!” says Derek Gaskill, a Sophomore Cinema Studies major. “But it’s making the quad look like Woodstock.” Everyone probably realized how many people we actually share a campus with within the past few weeks, and just how good a little sun can do for the mood. And though wonderful things come in store with the fast approaching summer months, there are some drawbacks to look out for. Hotter weather means hotter everything; specifically dorms and classrooms. Soon enough, if not already, complaints about going to class or tries to convince your professor to have class outside will start. Windows will be thrown open in an attempt to cool off the stifling dorm rooms. But not to put a damper on high spirits, warm weather also means much more time outside. Somehow we all find an excuse to put the books down for an hour - or four - to grab a blanket and lay outside. Trust me, this is a good thing. We sometimes forget that we need to have a life past school work, or that we need play time to keep us going. And with workloads increasing,
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now’s a better time than any to meet up with people under the sun. You could even jump on one of those hills by the library, if it’ll make you feel better. Hell, bring your books outside with you. But let me know how that one turns out- chances are it won’t. Just keep in mind a few simple things. The first is that water is your best friend. Seriously guys, make sure you stay hydrated in the heat. The second is to remember sunscreen. Nobody likes putting that oily stuff on, but nobody likes being sunburned either. So just be, and have fun. Warmer weather means it’s almost summer, so break out the shorts and enjoy until finals roll around. God knows you’ll wish you did when you have to live in the library.
Created by Nick Sienty
THE GAY TEEN SUICIDE EPIDEMIC BY STEPHANIE SPENCER Dharun Ravi, the 20-year-old Rutgers University freshmen who was on trial for inadvertently causing the suicide of his roommate Tyler Clementi, was convicted last week of all 15 charges brought against him, including spying and bias intimidation, which has brought nationwide attention to not only cyber-bullying, but the increasing number of suicides among gay youth in school districts. Ravi and Clementi became roommates at Rutgers during the fall semester of 2010. According to The New York Times, the two shared very little verbal communication other than texting. Three weeks into the semester Clementi asked Ravi if he could have the room to himself. Unbeknownst to Clementi, Ravi had left the camera on his laptop on, and from a room across the hall, was surprised when he saw Clementi engaging in sexual activity with another man he had met online. This was followed by a tweet by Ravi that said he had seen his roommate “making out with a dude.” What occurred two days later would prove to be murky for the jury deliberating the case, being that they had to decide whether or not Ravi’s actions were a personal attack on Clementi’s sexuality and essentially bias intimidation. The trail sparked debate over what the court should consider a “hate crime” and put a spotlight on school administrations feeble ability to protect homosexual students who find themselves being bullied by other students. In a post-trial statement, Clementi’s fa-
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ther, Joe Clementi, reached out to middle school and high school students who faced the same subjugation. “You’re going to meet a lot of people in your life. Some of these people you may not like. Just because you don’t like them doesn’t mean you have to work against them. When you see somebody doing something wrong, tell them: ‘That’s not right. Stop it.’ The change you want to see in the world begins with you,” he said. Clementi’s death was only one example of a much broader issue regarding teen suicides within the school system. School districts such as Anoka-Hennepin faced harsh scrutiny since 2011 when gay activist organizations took notice that up to ten suicides in the span of two years had taken place among students in the Anoka-Hennepin district who were bullied for being gay, or for even being suspected of being gay. Upon further investigation, where it was discovered that the “Sexual Orientation Curriculum Policy,” placed a gag order upon the staff not to discuss or teach their students of homosexuality under any circumstances, the Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC) and the National Center for lesbian Rights (NCLR) filed a lawsuit against the school accusing them of failing to provide students with safety and derive them of their education. “We are disappointed that the district fails to see the serious harm this policy is causing its students,” said Sam Wolfe, SPLC’s lead attorney in an interview with Dailykos.com. “School and district officials who are entrusted with the
news safety and education of all students continue to ignore, minimize, dismiss and even blame victims for the abusive behavior of other students.” The lawsuit brought national attention to Anoka-Hennepin educators, who under the pressure of a policy put on by conservative school board-members, were forced to remain “neutral,” and therefore made to turn a blind eye to the verbal and sexual harassment suffered at the hands of students in fear they would lose their jobs. Barb Anderson, an influential member of the Minnesota Family Council (MFC), who believe that homosexuality is a form of mental illness, went as far as to say in a newsletter against the lawsuit, “Open your eyes people, what if a 15-year-old is seduced into homosexual behavior and then contracts AIDS?” According to a Rolling Stone feature, however, the very idea of teaching AIDS awareness to students was deemed virtually impossible for health teachers without being able to mention homosexuality. “They’re made to feel ashamed of who they are,” said Anoka-Hennepin Arts teacher Jefferson Fietek. “They’re bullied. And there’s no one to stand up for them, because teachers are afraid of being fired.” On March 5th, both parties agreed on a settlement that would give the six plaintiff ’s $270,000 in a lump sum in compensation for their troubles, and would nix the school policy altogether. The Anoka-Hennepin district will also be under close watch by the department of Justice and Education for the next five years, making sure they do not violate the settlement. While the cases above prove to be a win among gay activists, it is still difficult to deny statistics such as Mark Hatzenbuehler’s, a Columbia
University psychologist, that show more conservative areas have a higher rate of suicide among gay students who are denied adequate counseling and support by their schools, according to the Associated Press (AP). According to an interview with AP, Dr. Robert Blum of John Hopkins’ Bloomberg School of Public Health wasn’t surprised by the results, but said that “the study takes our relatively superficial knowledge and provides a bit more depth. Clearly we need lots more understanding, but this is very much a step in the right direction.”
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Film review: “the hunger games” BY noelle moore Film adaptations of popular young-adult book series mean teenagers squirming in their seats with a feeling not unlike indigestion, fretting over whether the transfer to the big screen will be faithful to the book. Gary Ross’ adaptation of the beloved dystopian trilogy, “The Hunger Games,” dispelled those fears. The sound editing and cinematography are not only beautiful, but they allude to the intimate first-person narrative of the book without explicitly taking that position. The viewer is given the scope of what the world looks like to any newcomer, and grants them access into how Katniss sees her world. Jennifer Lawrence’s performance as Katniss Everdeen, the series’ protagonist, was stellar. Lawrence rose to the occasion and successfully managed to carry the weight of the entire film on her shoulders. President Snow, brought to life by Donald Sutherland, maintained a quietly sinister presence in every scene. Woody Harrelson’s portrayal of Haymitch hit all the crude, sarcastic notes that readers love about him, but also did a spectacular job of introducing how incredibly damaged his experience in the Games has left him. Purchase’s own Stanley Tucci is perfectly effervescent in the role of Caesar Flickerman, a strange mix of Tyra Banks and Conan O’Brien. The film did a superb job of covering the necessary information that non-readers would need to know, without slipping into exposition. Nearly everything included, every scene and line served a purpose. In many cases, in particular the
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dynamics of the Everdeen family, less was more. The script did not call for heavy, extensive back story, and they established relationships in one artfully, purposefully crafted scene, that told the viewer all they needed to know. The violence and the carnage that “The Hunger Games” is known for is not ignored in this adaptation. The blood and death are tastefully depicted in quick but brutal flashes that speak to the fast paced nature of a death match, while still catering to a PG-13 rating. The point of the fighting is that everything is happening so quickly, some are dead before they realize what has happened. The violence is necessary, but not gratuitous. The film perhaps made the context of this world even more relatable by showing viewers just how much the civilization of the Games resembles our own, from the impoverished District 12 to the glamorous Capitol. These people live in a world where the rich live in excess while much of the population suffers. The audience can visually relate to this world, where children are born and raised amidst war and sacrifice, where humanity stands, and the questioning of their own ethics. The gleefully sadistic nature of many of the Tributes is a cautionary tale against letting a society become too voyeuristic in its appetite for violence and entertainment. Overall, “The Hunger Games” does not disappoint: it is a fast-paced beautifully crafted example of teenage science-fiction done right. There is no such thing as a perfect adaptation or a perfect film, but “The Hunger Games” comes close.
movie reviews
cinema eye with masai: “21 Jump street” BY Dylan green Every year, there is one movie that revitalizes my interest in film after the usual January February cinematic drought that occurs every single year. This year, the comedic re-tooling of “21 Jump Street” is that movie. Not only is it just an absolute riot that benefits from excellent chemistry between newly christened Oscar nominee Jonah Hill and former romantic comedy hunk, now coming into his own, Channing Tatum, it’s also an endearingly smart and understanding critique of the high school experience (and how it follows you into the great beyond) that pulls no punches. A reboot that works in all the right (and some deliciously wrong) ways, this trip down to “21 Jump Street” is much more than just a rehashed trip to the corner of memory lane and nostalgia avenue. What lies beneath is much more brainy, satisfying, and personal than you might be expecting. Morton Schmidt (Jonah Hill) and Greg Jenko (Channing Tatum) fit into their high school identities like tools fit into varsity jackets. Schmidt was the socially awkward Slim Shady imitating intellect to Jenko’s pea-brained brawny mullet wearing jock. Once they both leave high school and enter the police force, however, their need for each other’s skills turns them into the best of friends. After their first successful arrest winds up being botched (Jenko forgot to read the perp his Miranda rights), the two misfits are transferred to the re-opened precinct of “21 Jump Street” to infiltrate their old high school and stop a designer drug from making its rounds. Coincidentally,
thanks to yet another Jenko mix-up, both men are able to experience high school from the other side of the tracks. What could’ve ended up as a generic sex comedy becomes a sort of “re-coming of age” comedy. It is, of course, full of usual Jonah Hill pratfalls such as accidental drug usage, being hit by cars, and awkward interactions with the opposite sex, but because we’re talking about a script written by Hill and Michael Bacall, we’re talking about these experiences shown in the most truthful and honest of lights, which makes them resonate all the more. Remember that time you got high just before your school’s production of Peter Pan and heckled the cast members from the back of the theater? You will now. Hill and Tatum play their roles to absolute perfection, fleshing out their characters not just as mere stereotypes, but as people who learn more about themselves, and each other, through the disjointed hell that was high school. There’s much more heart here than anyone was expecting, but seeing that it came from Jonah Hill, a master of high school pratfalls and endearingly honest social critiques, and directors Phil Lord and Chris Miller, who know how to manage chaotic comic energy, it comes as no surprise that “21 Jump Street” is the kick in the ass with a Converse sneaker that 2012 desperately needed.
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MADAME QUERY
HAS YOUR REMEDY
Dear Madame, I truly believe I am addicted to social media outlets. I love staying in my room and blogging about different recipes I find off of other blogs. I love seeing what my friends are doing on Facebook. It is so fascinating. My friends don’t understand why I love it so much, they believe I am wasting valuable time that I could be spending with them. The truth is, I have a lot more fun finding out what they looked like in high school than hanging out with them in person.
You have friends. Use them. Don’t act like you never met a friend a day in your life by holing yourself up in your room, burning your eyes out. Close down the laptop and run over to your friends before you lose them. Pretty soon you are going to consume your life with the internet, so much so, the closest you will be to your friends will be Second Life characters that kind of look like them. Stop blogging about recipes or reblogging pictures of fancy dishes you had no part in making. Try getting out there and using one of these recipes, instead of just reading about it. The fact that you believe all of your online accounts are “so fascinating” leads me to believe you have not lived enough out in the real world. Maybe you have and you have just forgotten how much better it is. Madame Query is going to prescribe you with a massive dose of fresh air. You can claim you are a “homebody” all you want, but trust me once you get back in the good company of friends, you will soon realize there is nothing better.
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Dear Madame, I order people around and people say I’m bossy, but I like to get things done. I am a man of initiative. I organize things and seek people out to complete these tasks. No, that is not necessarily my job. Well, it’s not necessarily a job at all, it is just how I act on a normal life to life basis. What is the big problem?
Well, the problem is you have no friends. Whatever friends you think you might have, you probably don’t. The people who are telling you this to your face most likely don’t have an ounce of respect for you because you are so mean to them. I hope for anyone’s concern that they are not friends with you, because who really wants to call a dictator a good old pal of theirs? Maybe you are a nice guy, but your extreme bossy tendencies can cover up good traits. No one wants to be told what to do especially if it is not a paid atmosphere. Seriously, dude, I don’t know about the next guy, but I don’t want to be hanging out in my room, watching “Pawn Stars “and have you tell me to put on “Antiques Roadshow.” Life doesn’t work that way. Sometimes you got to suck it up and watch the show your friend wants because remember, you are coming into their space. You have to relax yourself. Organize yourself, don’t drag your friends into it.
advice
Madame, I am quite literally attracted to the Henry Moore statue. You know that one in the front? Some say it looks like two teeth, some say to bodies. I don’t know what is “supposed” to be, but it is beautiful. Is it wrong that I’m so attracted to a statue?
If there was ever a sexy statue, it would be the Henry Moore. Don’t feel ashamed of yourself, there are plenty of shows on television and people in the media who confessed their love for all sorts architectural figures. Do you know how many people lust over the Eiffel Tower? A lot. Appreciate the greatness of the statue. It is one of the few beauties to come from this campus
SUBMIT YOUR QUESTIONS
TO MADAME QUERY
KELSO IN SPACE BY stephanie spencer Move over Lance Bass, there’s a new celebrity astronaut in tinsel town! As of 2013 or 2014, Ashton Kutcher will be the 500th passenger on the SpaceShipTwo, a shuttle designed to send (very wealthy) folks on a space adventure of a lifestyle, according to a post by billionaire Richard Branson. According to the Washington Post, once the $20,000 deposit is given to Virgin Galactic, Kutcher will be set to go. Until then, Kutcher will receive some astronaut perks courtesy of Branson such as “astronaut forums with Sir Richard Branson on his Caribbean island home or his South African game reserve” and a chance “to see for real the new vehicles under development.” Well, may the force be with you, Captain Cootcher… I mean Kutcher!
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