STELLAR DAY ISSUE 26 | OCTOBER 2017
The
October Issue
THE JOURNEY There is much to be thankful for, even when it doesn't seem to be. It's all about how we get there.
THANKFULNESS
As we begin year three of Stellar Day, Editor-in-Chief Jessica Williams reflects on the past two years.
BEING INTENTIONAL
Taking time to pause and be in the moment with where we are at can be so hard. One writer encourages us in it!
l u f k n a h t
Stellar Day Magazine
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?edisnI s'tahW
21 11 16
03 06 11 13
Thankfulness The Beauty Of Regaining Your Authentic Self A Desert Meditation Gratitude Is Everywhere
06 14 16 21 24 35
Intentional A Family Thankful Tree Giving Thanks In All The Journey Editors Note
THANKFULNESS By Jessica Williams It could tend to feel redundant and somewhat cheesy, that EVERY time we get to October we focus on thankfulness. I am aware that it’s not November and that we haven’t officially begun the season of thanks. I understand that it is still one hundred degrees outside and that with the year beginning to wind down, this might be a hard theme for us to center the month around. After all, isn’t October the beginning of the madness? Before we know it, we’ll be taking down our Christmas trees as quickly as we put them up, ringing in a new year and resolving to keep our resolutions this time. But this month is really, really important to me. Two years ago I decided that Stellar Day Magazine would always focus on being thankful in the month of October. In 2015, I had returned home from a women’s retreat surrounded by
women who catapulted my belief in myself and I launched a project that would become known as SDM, without knowing the impact it would have. I had no idea that thousands of women would read it. I had no idea that I would have over 50 writers who submit throughout the year consistently. I also had no idea that I would make some of the greatest friends I have ever known and meet some of the most remarkable people of my life. I had no idea that my life was going to change in October of 2015, and while I had some side liners telling me that I just enjoy starting projects and that this would be a failure all the same, I had a band of women forming who saw something special that month. Women who teamed behind me, championed what we were doing, who prayed for me and most of all believed in me. It’s the first month that I saw a glimmer of STELLAR DAY MAGAZINE | 03
light shining down the tunnel of the dark, dark season I was ending. And while I had a good long way to go, I consistently and constantly heard the Lord tell me to wait, to trust Him, and to abide in Him. So I tried to do just that. We faithfully put together each magazine. Our readership grew, and grew. Our purpose within SDM swelled and our team expanded. And I look back realizing that had I not jumped off that plane with possibilities inside my heart, regardless of the dark season I was in, SDM might not have ever been. So I look back, realizing how faithful God has been to me through this journey. I look back with intense gratefulness and awe for where God has brought us from, and where he is taking us. And I always hope, every October, I can stop and reflect on exactly how grateful I am that the Lord has allowed SDM to impact women everywhere for another solid year. That he graciously allowed me and my team to conquer deadlines while raising our babies, cooking for our husbands, taking care of our own parents who are now aging and the list of tasks and to dos we have to accomplish every day. Mostly, I am thankful for the community that SDM is cultivating. My leadership team consistently reminds me that it is important, what we are doing, and I am humbled by that. I am reminded that we could be in
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a very different place or that SDM could not exist at all, but that the Lord allowed the beatings of my heart to be used in ways that are much greater than I ever could have imagined. I am thankful that I am here to write and encourage you in your own journey, and that if you have faith that is even as tiny as a mustard seed, you too CAN move mountains. I’m thankful for the failures we’ve endured this year for without them, we wouldn’t have overcome. And I cherish the future and what God is already laying out before us to do. Stellar Day Magazine is a constant reminder of God’s faithfulness to me in my life,
and that even in your darkest tunnels and moments, He CAN use you to change the world. He will if you let Him. I’ll never take October for granted, the month that launched it all for us and I am thankful for the breaths in my lungs to be able to look back at all the Lord has done. May this season, from now until the new year, be full of reminders and renewal for you. May he stretch you and grow you so YOU can have the ability to look back with me next year and see all that He has done again.
Stellar Day Magazine is a constant reminder of God's faithfulness to me in my life and that even in your darkest tunnels and moments, he CAN use you to change the world.
the beauty of regaining
Your Authentic Self By Kim Meyer Losing your authentic self, and the importance of finding it again…. What brought you life? What turned that light bulb on inside you? What made you glow from the inside out?
What happens to us when we quit living as God naturally designed us? What happens when that light bulb that used to burn so bright in us, fades away? When we let it go?
For me, it was the shock of cool ocean waters crashing against me, and the smell of salt and sun on my skin as I lay in the warm sand of my childhood beach. It was dancing every time music played, because God made me a dancer at heart. And music! It was listening to my favorite song as loud as possible, getting lost in whatever emotion that song evoked inside me. These were a few of the things that brought me to life…made me feel alive! When I was a kid, I knew what made me feel alive.
I can tell you, it can often leave one emotionally bankrupt. I did not know this - not until I had my own emotional and mental wake-up call at 42. I was 42, married, and with 3 children, I love and adore with every ounce of my heart, when my emotional bankruptcy happened.
Fast forward to 42….. the girl who donned a bikini and breathed in the beach like a mermaid was gone. The girl who played music loud, everyday… filling my senses as I danced the moment away, was gone. Instead, she was replaced by a woman who stopped playing music, and stopped dancing… stopped dancing. Did you catch that? God, made me a dancer at heart, and I stopped dancing. I was a wife, and a mom of three, and I no longer recognized myself. The scary part was, I had no idea how far away I was from that girl. I had no idea I had completely let her go. STELLAR DAY MAGAZINE | 06
Shortly after turning 42 it became obvious that something had gone terribly wrong, I had gone far off track. Anxiety hit me in full force, awful, ugly anxiety. It showed up one day with it’s awful cousin depression. When I wasn’t consumed with anxious thoughts, I was in such a depressive low, I couldn’t feel anything - excitement, joy, nothing. Honestly, I don’t know which one was worse. Had it not been for my children, I would have stayed in bed all day, hidden in the cave of my covers, unwilling to face the world. Thank God for them, with one in preschool, one in Kindergarten, and one soon graduating High School, I had no choice but to keep going. Without them, I’m not sure how strong my fight would have been. How did this happen? How did I end up here? I had become so far removed from the naturally happy and joyful
person I was. The darn near debilitating anxiety and depression I was experiencing knocked me to my core, and forced me to evaluate my life and look at my circumstances in a new light. I had no choice… I stepped back and became an observer to my life.
exhilarating sensation of the salt water bringing me back a little bit more to life. I smelled the old familiar smell of sun and salt on my skin once again. I remembered who I was…. Slowly, that girl started coming back. I hadn’t realized I lost her….me… I lost ME. Why did I let go of me to begin with? At what point It’s interesting what happens when in marriage and motherhood did I you become an observer in your decide I wasn’t important? Did I even life… when you take a step back and realize I made that decision and just watch what is going on….you see bought into the lies that this is what things you never saw before. As an observer to my life, clarity came, and so did drastic change. It was a matter of survival. Almost immediately I began the healing process of tapping back into my roots. I began to remember who I was at my core, and who God authentically created me to be. I packed up my boys and began going to my hometown every chance I got. I went home to the beach and my family every holiday, three- day weekend, Mother’s Day, and summer. I splashed in the waves again, just like I did as a girl, the
WHEN WE ARE TRUE TO OUR AUTHENTIC SELF, WE ARE THE BEST VERSION FOR EVERYONE.
is supposed to happen once you grow up, get married, and have children? And who’s telling those lies to begin with? It comes from all angles my friends. Societal expectations, the pressures we put on ourselves to be super moms, comparisons to others, unrealistic expectations from others, or keeping the wrong people close – every bit of it is all false advertising. Regardless of what the reasons are for why we let that light dim, why we let go of our authentic self, the end cost is an enormous sacrifice to our true self, and there is no measure to that cost. Because, here’s the deal - when we are true to our authentic self, we are the best version for everyone. We are the best mom and example for our kids. We show our daughters that it is important to also take care of ourselves and we are worthy of that. We show our sons that it’s important for a wife to take care of herself, and to be supportive of that.
When we are nurturing ourselves, we are the best contributor to a workplace. We have the resources to be the best wife, friend, and companion. When you are filled up with the things in life that make you feel good about yourself, you can give your best self. You can do this because you actually have something to give. When you’ve been taking care of yourself, you’ve been filling your light inside you. You’re not depleted and burnt out. A light that is burnt out, can no longer give. When I was going through one of the toughest emotional challenges of my life, and I was in “observation” mode, a very wise person said to me, “Be kind to yourself, make sure you are doing self care.” My reaction – “huh, self care?” No lie, that was
my reaction to the concept of self care. I was so far removed from making sure my needs were also met, along with my children and being a supportive wife, that I actually had to think about it. That my friends, was a light bulb moment. I thought, “Hmmm, he’s on to something here.” So I started paying attention. I began paying close attention to what my mind and body were telling me. 42 was my wake up call, and now at 45 – after making radical changes, I’m the happiest and proudest version of me that I’ve experienced in a long time. I do things much different now. When I’m tired, I go to bed. I don’t push myself to the point of exhaustion on a daily basis because there is no point to that. Let’s be honest, there will always be something
more to do, so do what is essential for today, and leave the rest for tomorrow. When I need to burn off some negative energy, I go for a run. When I need to get my nails done, I do, because, yes, I love having pretty nails. When I need time with good friends, I see them. When the kids and I have had a particularly busy week, I make sure to spend quiet time cozying up to them watching a favorite movie. I eat a healthy diet and exercise regularly, but I also have a drink when I feel like it, and eat the dessert when I feel like it. Also, I say “no” to more things, and “yes” to the things that God has given me wiring and gifts for – because those acts of kindness, sharing your gifts with others, is what brings light into your life, so you can share that light and love with others.
When you honor your authentic self, who God made you to be, balance comes more naturally. The road has not been all smooth sailing. Divorce, no matter how necessary, is never easy. Losing your job at the same time is a double whammy. But even with all the struggles, I wouldn’t change coming back to my authentic self for anything. I emptied my house of all remnants of negativity and filled it with furniture and pictures that bring me joy. I painted walls, and cleaned house. I joined a dance type fitness class to tap into my dancer at heart, and I get plenty of outdoor time because fresh air makes me happy. I don’t spend my weekends just focused on cleaning house, I get outside and enjoy life with my kids. Balance! It’s all about balance. When you honor your authentic self, who God made you to be, balance comes more naturally. You quit listening to all the voices telling you all the “shoulds” in life. You know those voices, the ones that say, “You should be doing this,” “You should be doing more,” etc. Instead, you start focusing on the beautiful, unique gem you were created to be, and feed that part of your soul. Because when you are filling up the authentic soul inside you – your light burns the brightest, and it’s the bright light that is able to spread it’s light the farthest. So, ask yourself.. what brings you light, what makes you glow?
When you love what you have, you have everything you need.
A DESERT MEDITATION By Esther Gallagher
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Searching for a focal point to transition into tree pose, I connect with the three-light candelabra directly ahead; reminded that I seek the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit to balance and posture my mind, body, and spirit in all of life’s ebbs and flows. Actively rooting my feet further down into the firmament of His will; reminded that only He can replenish what has been dried up from my self-will, spirit of offense and control, and can refresh me from His well of Living Water if I am willing to drink of it. Outstretching my arms like the limbs of the Palo Verde in my desert view ahead, I give thanks to the Vine; reminded that as His branch, I can be an extension of His abundant love to a desperately hurting world. Resting in child’s pose, feeling the peace that passes understanding, taking a few extra minutes to be still and Gazing outside the window toward
know; reminded of His presence in this
Camelback Mountain with arms raised high
moment and feeling grateful for the time
overhead in mountain pose; reminded that
to intersect with Him here on this mat,
while I can't see what lies on the other
reflecting on the harvest that He is
side of this rugged, burnt red, rock
reaping even during the driest of
giant in my midst, the one true God can
seasons.
move any obstruction that intimidates me from moving forward on the path in which
Looking out once more through the
He has called me forth.
window, as class comes to a close, at the prickly yet thriving desert brush,
With left leg extended behind, leaning
choosing to see abundance instead of
forward into my right bent knee, and my
lack and the growth in the desert
torso and heart extended out and over
places; reminded that in the wild
it, I exhale to move deeper into the
grasses springing upward through the
pose; reminded that without the inhale
rocky places, I glimpse the hope and the
of the Spirit, there can be no exhale -
future He has promised me.
and that if I am to do His will, I must continually press into Him and receive His life-giving breath.
ratitude is E verywhere G By Sarah Humphrey
Soft breeze, Willowy trees Bringing life as they go Fallen dreams River streams Echoing hearts of a journey unknown Peace… Be still…. There’s presence in the wait His voice is strong and gentle Healing each crack Living awake Rain falls through the window My ears tune to hear the sound Of all of nature singing And gratitude abounds Thankful for the many ways My heart has learned the truth Thankful for the grief and birth That brings a covering roof Thankful as my song is born Identity from His core Thankful for the ones who see The ones whom I adore Gratitude is Everywhere.
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INTENTIONAL BY NICOLE THOMPSON It’s about this time every year that I start asking myself yet again, why do I live in Arizona? I don’t particularly like desert landscape, stucco houses, or block fences. While the rest of the country is getting ready for fall and cooler weather, we’re still sweating it out in shorts and t-shirts. Stores are starting to carry sweaters and scarves, both of which I would love to wear all year long. I could live in jeans, boots, and layers! However, the real problem is I’m just over summer and ready for a new season. I love the break from structure summer brings, but by the end of it I’m ready to get back into more of a routine. I’m ready for a change again
I think that’s what bothers me most about living here; we just don’t get true seasons like many other places do. While I used to think change scared me, I’ve realized that I actually love it. In fact, I need a little change every so often. Growing up I used to deep clean and re-arrange my bedroom every few months. My parents wouldn’t ask me to, I’d just start going through things and move everything around by myself. When I got married I started doing the same thing in our house. However, I’ve been kind of locked in with our current house. All our furniture fits in exactly one place, so no moving things around every few months. It’s
been pretty much the same for almost 5 years. I’m not going to lie; it kind of drives me nuts sometimes! And to be clear I’m not talking about being discontent and looking for a quick fix. I’ve been there and know what that feels like. It’s not the same as this rhythm I seem to live in. I enjoy consistency but I can’t stay stagnant too long before craving some type of change. While some might see that as a seemingly insignificant character trait, I’m sure there’s a purpose behind it. Psychology always interested me and while I didn’t go that route for a career, I still find it interesting to see the different personalities and gifting God gives people and how they complement each other. I see things in my daughter that I know she was created with and I’m curious to see how they’ll serve her later in life. I wonder what her gifting will be, what
interests she’ll have, and what passions she’ll follow. I know that her personality was tailored just for her specific calling, the one only she can fulfill in the way only she can do it. I’m so thankful that God is the ultimate creator and also incredibly intentional. We are created on purpose and for a purpose. It’s our job to steward this life we’ve been given well, to embrace who God made us and to trust His plans and purposes. This relationship with Jesus truly is the best adventure. There is no way I could have come up with anything even close to the life he’s given me. So many things I never saw coming have turned out to be the best things. Although I would never have written my story the way He has, there are things I would have left out, yet if not I also would have missed out on so many other amazing things. It’s all been worth it, it always is. We can trust him.
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A FAMILY THANKFUL TREE BY CHRISTINE CRAM
I wanted to start a new tradition this year and its making a family thankful tree. I have seen lots of plans there on Pinterest on how to make your own, but I just found one at the dollar section at target (more like five-dollar section…am I right?!). I want our children to grow up thinking about all the things they are thankful for and write it down
"I WANT OUR CHILDREN TO GROW UP THINKING ABOUT ALL THE THINGS THEY ARE THANKFUL FOR." on a leaf an attach it to a tree. And then display the tree during the fall and into Thanksgiving time. I think having our children think and write down all that they are thankful for will be such a great activity and my hope is that they will understand that we have so much to be thankful for. We have been blessed with so much here on earth and I never want my kids or I honestly to forget about that, or not take that serious. We do not deserve all that we have and yet we really have so much. Have you ever created a family thankful tree? I’m really excited to start this new tradition with my family.
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Do you have special traditions you did as a child that you have carried over to your own family? Growing up, my husband and his family would open their stockings on Christmas eve. I did not grow up doing that but ever since we have been married, we have adopted that tradition and made it our own. One of my traditions growing up was driving around looking at Christmas lights during the holiday season. I don’t know why but it’s absolutely one of my favorite things. Driving around in our jammies, listening to Christmas music, while drinking hot apple cider or hot chocolate. Those times have been so special. Our daughter had a blast last year doing that.
MAY I NEVER FORGET THE GOOD THINGS HE HAS DONE FOR ME. PSALMS 103:2
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Giving Thanks In All By Maria Derminio Norman Rockwell’s oil painting Freedom from Want shows three generations gathered around a holiday table. In this famous scene, painted in 1943, family and friends smile at each other as a huge roasted turkey is placed before them. Over 70 years later Rockwell’s work, a symbol of Thanksgiving and family love, continues to encourage us to acknowledge our blessings and give thanks. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. I enjoy decorating, making traditional foods, and hosting my family of four generations. When I set the table I put three kernels of corn by every glass. During the meal, a basket is passed around and each guest shares three blessings and deposit the corn in the basket. I encourage everyone to share specific memories from the past year, not “I am thankful for my family, friends, and food,” an expression my three sons often blurt out between mouthfuls.
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In the Bible we are told in I Thessalonians 5:18 to “Give thanks in all circumstances.” All circumstances? I find it easy to be thankful for my health and enjoyable times with my family and friends, but to give thanks for trials in lifehealth problems, difficult relationships, crime, and natural disasters? To be thankful in those areas does not come easily to me.
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"Give thanks in all circumstances." I Thessalonians 5:18 I found it challenging to be thankful three years ago when my husband had a stroke and his right side was paralyzed. Our family was paralyzed. We waited in the hospital and prayed for healing. God answered our prayers and five days later he slowly regained his strength. When we came home, I realized quickly being thankful for small victories each day helped anxiety and weariness vanished. His recovery took nine months and became a sweet time in our relationship. While he learned to strengthen and use his muscles again, I practiced patience, compassion, and perseverance. That year, during our Thanksgiving meal, I shared three blessings from his recovery and dropped my kernels of corn, along with many tears, into the thankful basket.
In the past I have moved often and usually enjoyed good relationships with my neighbors. However, for six years we lived next to a woman who was difficult. She found fault with our landscaping, basketball court, and pool noise. Letters to the neighborhood board listed her multiple grievances against us and also many of the others in the neighborhood. Rarely content and often critical, she had few friends and fewer family members. Her home was void of the love and laughter of children and the many lessons they teach us. As I pieced together her story, I struggled with finding something to be thankful for. Finally, I decided to use her as an example. My goal was to have the opposite behavior and attitudes. “Beware of the 3 C’s - No Criticizing, No Complaining, No Comparing” became my motto. Learning to be thankful for an irritating person propelled me to work on flaws in my thoughts and actions. I am still a work in progress, but farther along once I looked for an attitude of thanks and applied it to my life.
Sometimes our journey through life is hard. My in-laws passed away from lung cancer and heart disease. My daughter suffered three miscarriages. My husband lost his job when we had two children in college. World and national problems are increasing: inner-city crime, poverty, all forms of abuse, terrorism, and recently the devastation from Hurricanes Harvey and Irma. These, and many others, are difficult situations to accept and find something to give thanks for. But I have learned to try. Acceptance releases me from a spirit of anxiety and bitterness to trust in God and to look for hidden blessings. Â When Norman Rockwell painted Freedom from Want, the United States had been in World War II for almost two years. The painting was one of four used to boost American moral. Rockwell photographed his family and friends and used their faces in the painting. Those happy, laughing faces remind us to cherish our family and friends, in the midst of trials and uncertainly, and to look for and give thanks for our abundance of blessings.Â
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The Journey BY JENNIFER STAMPS
We landed in Washington D.C. after a nine-ish hour flight with our toddler who only slept maybe 90 minutes…at the very end. The flight was fine, as good as a long-haul flight could be. Then the wait. We had a planned three hour wait. So we made use of the lounges, got some food, and let our two year old run around. Our flight ended up being 90 minutes delayed. Then cancelled due to air traffic, lack of planes, or some other side effect of Hurricane Harvey which made landfall two days prior. By this time, it was 1:00 or 2:00 in the morning, Barcelona time – we were awake about 20 hours straight. And remember I mentioned our toddler only slept about 90 minutes? She was actually AMAZING, more delusional than anything. But we needed to get her to
bed. Thankfully we were able to book a hotel room near the airport and were scheduled to be on the first flight the next day. For some reason, the airline told us to leave our bags at the airport – probably because it would have taken hours to get them off. But that meant we had nothing. No toothbrush. No clothes. And only one diaper left in my purse. On the way to the hotel, we were in the shuttle with an older couple who lived locally. We were sharing our travel stories – turns out they want to visit Spain soon, the place we just visited! Then we shared our travel woes and started talking about living in Texas and Hurricane Harvey. That’s when they too realized that we had STELLAR DAY MAGAZINE | 24
nothing. They insisted that they go buy diapers for our daughter. We could have grabbed a Lyft but they knew we didn’t know the area and were beyond exhausted. We said our goodbyes. They took down my name. And bought our daughter diapers and wipes and a carton of blueberries for the three of us. Fresh fruit was so tasty after 24 hours of airport/airplane food. When the hotel worker delivered the package to us, I cried. There was a note. And part of that note read, “…try to remember the ‘journey’ is sometimes as fun and memorable as the destination.” And you know what? She’s right. Too often I forget that. I see the end result – whatever it may be – and focus so much on it that I don’t enjoy the journey. So what did we do? Well after all of our flights the next day were canceled, we booked a flight to Dallas in the afternoon and decided to ENJOY the day. We went to the Steven F. Udvar-Hazy Center – a Smithsonian National Air and Space Museum. It’s just outside of the airport, so we likely would have never visited otherwise. We got an extra day of vacation together. We got to see some really cool airplanes. And, the part that still gets my giddy, we got to see the actual Discovery Space Shuttle. Life is a journey, not a destination. Sometimes we get places in a direct route. And sometimes we get to meet amazing strangers and see space shuttles. I’m thankful for the journey. Because it’s what makes life sweet.
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To The Writers We finished year TWO of Stellar Day Magazine! And ladies? I couldn't say it enough- I. Could. Not. Do. This. Without. You. Nor would I ever want to. You make this magazine what it is, and for that, I will always be thankful. Thankful for your heart, mind, your trust. That you allow me to share your words. That you trust me to carry them. I'm thankful that your heart is to encourage others and not only for what you will gain out of this. I am thankful that you can see the big picture and that you join me in reaching women everywhere who are hurting, lonely, tired- and just like us. I am thankful that you take each step WITH me, just as we see it. No need to see exactly where we are going because you know that we will get there together. I am beyond grateful. You have no idea how important your words are to me, and how I'm thankful for them every single day. Here's to the future together ladies!
xo Jess
So Thankful.
We are grateful to you!
Jessica Williams, Editor in Chief Jennifer Stamps, Associate Editor Nicole Thompson, Publicity Sarah Humphrey, Creative Consultant
Contributing Writers In This Issue Christine Cram Esther Gallagher Jennifer Stamps Jessica Williams Kim Meyer Maria Derminio Nicole Thompson Sarah Humphrey
Special Thanks AFC Chiropractic Dani Homemaker Honeybook Jay & Jess Photography Nine Retreat Nu Skin Sarah Costa, Beachbody Coach STAMPS & Co.
EDITORIAL OFFICES Located in sunny Scottsdale, AZ Stellar Day Magazine is published by Issuu and created in Canva. www.stellardaymagazine.com
Stellar Day
Magazine
Dani Homemaker Young Living Consultant
EDITOR'S NOTE I fear that my words may fall short here. There isn't an accurate way to fully express my thanks. At least not inside an Editors Note. It feels as though it's not enough. Like my heart can't be fully captured inside these short paragraphs where I need to try to say thank you. So with that fully said. I'll try. THANK YOU. From the the bottom of my deep, aching heart- THANK YOU. I know that there aren't enough words to accurately express my gratitude that we finished a solid year two with Stellar Day Magazine. And what an amazing year it's been! We found our voice right from the beginning and haven't looked back since. Thank you for allowing this to be the space you choose to seek encouragement in. It is our hope that it doesn't stop here. We hope that if you already love Jesus, that we spur you into that. And that if you don't that you are able to find some peace and hope within these pages. I never thought Stellar Day would grow into what it is. I never thought we would be reaching thousands of people every month. I never thought my leadership team would still be in tact two years later. It's all just so amazing and has the hand of God all over it. Thank you. From the depths of my soul, thank you. It is because of you that I never gave up. It's because of you that we seek to encourage at all. Jessica Williams Editor-in-chief