January 2016
SOUL&STORY ft. Mia
SOUL&STORY
Soul&Story started in Fall 2011. The inspiration came from Dove’s Campaign for Real Beauty Videos that addressed the question: What standard of beauty are we holding ourselves to? Soul&Story exists to share your story about beauty in a simple, relevant, and raw form. Soul&Story is unique because the women featured do not wear makeup for the shoot. We want to focus the spotlight on their natural beauty, not their ability to apply makeup. The hope is that we can love ourselves no matter what and that by sharing our stories we can encourage each other.
contact us: soulandstory@gmail.com instagram @soulandstory
How has your ethnicity affected your idea of beauty?
I
’m 100% Japanese. When I was little, my idea of beauty reflected the Caucasian ideal--thin, big eyes, light hair, light skin--because I noticed that these were the characteristics that people praised. To be beautiful meant to be American. I saw how far away I was from those physical traits, and I took this to mean that I wasn’t very beautiful.
I
tried to make myself look more American by dying my hair and putting on makeup so that people would like me more, and it kind of worked. I gained social approval by assimilating to white culture, but at the same time, I felt like I was rejecting an important part of myself.
N
avigating what it means to be beautiful as an Asian American woman has been a confusing process, but I’ve started to find harmony between my Japanese features and my cultural identity as an American.
What is your story?
I
remember always hearing phrases like, “It’s your inner beauty that counts,” but I would look around and see that the world actually does care about what you look like. Pretty people get social perks, and they seem happier and more successful. Even if I was talented, smart, and kind, I felt like I wouldn’t be complete unless I was also physically beautiful.
I
spent a lot of time preoccupied with perfecting myself. Every time I fell short of the beauty standard in my head, I would tell myself I was a failure and a narcissist--too weak to discipline myself into being beautiful enough for acceptance, and also too self-absorbed to deserve any love. I felt stuck in a cycle of shame.
W
ith time, I’ve come to realize that I am already enough. There was never anything about my appearance that I needed to “fix”; the problem was always with society. I’ve found that the more I live confidently in who I am, the less significant my looks are to my identity and sense of worth. Nothing has been more empowering than kicking perfection to the curb!
I
’m definitely not perfect at trying not to be perfect… but I’m learning to be more compassionate to myself in the space that I’m in.
How did it feel to not wear makeup during the shoot?
I
t felt a little weird at first because I’m used to having makeup on for pictures. After a while, I started to relax and the shoot felt fun and natural. It was refreshing to find out that I could feel confident in front of a camera without any makeup.
When do you feel most confident?
A
nytime I’m dancing or wearing my unicorn onesie. Or dancing in my unicorn onesie!
What are some moments that have made you feel self-conscious?
S
ometimes I feel self-conscious when I’m alone in public. I feel awkward and totally out of place,
and my brain takes this as a cue to over analyze everything until all the little negative thoughts add up to, “Wow Mia, you suck and you have no friends.”
M
y first impulse in this situation is usually to pretend that I’m busy with something
(aka checking my phone for new texts that don’t exist), but I’m getting better at just accepting that little wave of self-doubt and remembering that I’m still awesome when I’m by myself !
What is your favorite part of your body?
M
y hands. They can do so many things! They can pet fluffy animals, give high fives, play
guitar, help people, write beautiful words. I love that my hands allow me to create. Also, I just think they’re really pretty.
What was the last meaningful compliment you’ve received?
I
was told in a letter that I have a “magical power of lifting people up.” That was really special to
me. Anytime someone identifies a positive quality in myself that I might not have noticed before, I see how it strengthens my sense of self and my connection with others. It makes me think, ”How can I better embody this attribute through my daily life?”
How do you build your own self-confidence?
I
’ve been paying more attention to my thoughts when I start to compare myself with others, or when I start to beat myself up for something small. I pinpoint that feeling of insecurity, let myself feel it, and then try to gracefully let it go.
I
surround myself with people that make me feel like me, and I look at confident people that I admire and see what I can learn from them.
I
also try to remember what I am grateful for during my long walk down to campus. It’s pretty easy to do with the gorgeous ocean staring me in the face!
Last Comments
B
eauty standards are stupid. Instead of asking yourself if you should wear more makeup for that date, or if you shouldn’t eat carbs because you haven’t gone on a run yet that day, maybe try asking if it’ll be nurturing to your health and your growth-spiritually, mentally, and physically. You might feel a lot better about yourself.
“
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” --Eleanor Roosevelt
Photography by Megan Won with special thanks to Joseph Ramli