PDA: A vibrant display of affection or a public display of vulgarity?

“And they were making out on the escalators”, I exclaimed to my French class. I had just come back from a week-long exchange near Lyon, and one thing that really struck me, was the number of couples getting off in public.

I will hold my hands up and admit, I love love. I’m an absolute sucker for a Nora Ephron film, a friends to lovers trope and everything in between, including large-scale romantic gestures (I’m looking at you Angus, Thongs, and Perfect Snogging). Yet, when it comes to PDA, I’m not so convinced. By definition, a public display of affection is, for all intents and purposes, an outpour of love, so, why am I amongst most other people, so opposed to PDA?

‘‘By definition, a public display of affection is [...] an outpour of love, so, why am I amongst most other people, so opposed to PDA?’’

According to GQ magazine, the location of PDA is very important. For example, if a couple are saying goodbye at the train station, a “modest display of affection” would be expected. When tears are added into the mix, you have everyone’s favourite scene from their favourite romcom. When PDA is witnessed in a restaurant, “very few will be thrilled with their unrequested side order of your passionate kisses.”

It got me thinking that maybe it’s not necessarily a case of location, but preparation. You expect to see goodbyes in the train station for example, but you don’t expect to see a couple getting off on the table next to you, while you are trying to enjoy your dinner.

Perhaps, the thing which people don’t like about PDA is the fact that it can creep up on you and catch you off guard. When people are eating each other in Timepiece, most of us don’t bat an eyelid, but if we witnessed the same thing in the library, I am 99% sure most people would be aghast.

Intrigued to hear what other people thought about it, I recruited my housemates, who agreed that location is key. They wouldn’t be phased by people getting off in a nightclub, for example, but they would be if it was in the queue at Morrisons. We also came to the conclusion that, along with where, what is very important too. Like most things, there are definitely degrees of what is appropriate, with my one housemate explaining “there is a difference between a public degree of affection and a public display of vulgarity”. But what also became apparent is what is deemed ‘acceptable’ by one person, is deemed as off-limits by the next.

By general consensus, handholding or an arm around the shoulder is fine, but a hand in a back pocket is not. There is nothing wrong with a peck goodbye, but God forbid if it goes any further.

‘‘[...] the idea of jealousy got me thinking - are we so opposed to PDA because there’s little part of us that wishes it was us?’’

Stylist magazines describe the levels of frustration which PDA can provoke, with people revealing that “seeing a couple locking lips in public fills them with either annoyance, despair or extreme jealousy” and the idea of jealousy got me thinking - are we so opposed to PDA because there’s a little part of us which wishes it was us? I mean it would be nice if someone fancied the pants off you, but as a perpetually single girl, I can honestly say I’ve never felt a jealous pang when I’ve seen a couple getting frisky on my daily walk.

So, all of this begs the question, is PDA a vibrant display of love or is it, as my housemate put it, more often than not, a public display of vulgarity? I would suggest that the general opinion on PDA rides upon where and what. In all fairness, very few people are opposed to handholding in the same way they may be imposed to an in-public, lunchtime makeout session, and the differences between affec tion and vulgarity stand true.

However, if I were to play devil’s advocate and if I allowed my inner-romantic to flourish,would both PDA and PDV simply become a case of if they’re that in love, let them get away with it? I think in an ideal world, yes, but unfortunately I’m not quite there yet and I’m not sure if I’ll ever get passed the shock of being caught off guard at the supermarket or wherever it may be.

Despite all of our opinions on PDA or PDV, GQ raise the point that it is a privilege and a privilege typically given to white, straight couples. It’s all well and good if Steve wants to walk down the High Street with his hand in his girlfriend’s back pocket, but two men walking in front of him holding hands is taking it too far.

So, knowing what we now know, maybe it is time we begin championing PDA after all, particularly from those who don’t feel safe to shout it from the rooftops when they are in love. Maybe it is time to change our attitudes towards it and to remind ourselves that maybe, in the end, there’s no harm in it. It is supposedly what makes the world go around, after all.